The Fifth Marauder
by Charlie Soules
Summary: Amber Harkstone never asked to become Lionheart. But alongside Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, she witnesses the rise of the Dark Lord and fights alongside her friends in the First Wizarding War. Of course, being a teenager at Hogwarts can feel like a war itself, especially when you've inadvertently become the fifth marauder. After all, what difference could one girl make?
1. Year 1: The Murder Tree

"My Lord, you must not go."

A pale, sallow faced man stared at the thin oval face of a young woman with wild black hair. Her dark eyes searched his frantically, and though she was afraid for him, he felt only annoyance at her begging.

"You far underestimate me." The man replied coldly, striding forward, looking out of the wide window onto the urban sprawl beneath it. There, in little houses and within apartment buildings, dwelt Muggles and Mudbloods and magical blood alike. As if they were all content being reduced to nothing more than pedigreed creatures mingling with the diseased and untouchables. The man's nose wrinkled in disgust. This journey, he knew, would help separate the pure-white sheep from the filthy goats.

"My Lord," the woman repeated, stepping towards him without fear, "Please. Let me accompany you."

"Do you think I am incapable of protecting myself?" the man growled, his once-handsome face dark with controlled anger. "Do you think that I require the aid of anyone else?"

The woman's eyes widened, and she shook her head frantically, her long, wild black hair bouncing like a lion's mane behind her. "Of course not, my Lord! I was only offering my services to you…"

She stared at him adoringly, her mouth opened in a small o, a display of her eagerness. The pale man knew that she was young, proud, full of energy, ready to demonstrate her abilities, but he had no need of them. Not for this.

"I have a different job for you, Bellatrix," the man said. "I need you to take Lestrange with you to the Giants. See if they have changed their minds at all."

"Of course my Lord," Bellatrix whispered, bowing, and then disappearing from the room with a sharp _crack_. Voldemort sighed. At last, he was alone. Finally, he could make his appeal to the wild creatures that skulked deep within the forest.

He was gone with a sound like thunder. A moment later, he walked underneath a black sky, into a canopy of thick trees, on the outskirts of a place that he had once called home. From this distance, before he was too deep into the reaches of the shadowed forest, he could see the castle, its hundreds of windows illuminated with tiny golden squares of light. He turned his back on Hogwarts and swept into the pine forest.

He knew there were giant spiders here. He had met creatures in here that only Newt Scamander had written about, creatures that were too horrible for so many ordinary wizards to handle encountering. Voldemort had dominated them all. Most had already agreed to join his cause.

But now, for these half-breeds…

He walked past the place where he knew the centaurs lived. They had already rejected his request for aid. Centaurs were dirty, half-human offspring of bestiality and filth. He would rather not have their disgusting lineage taint his forces, but their help was better than none.

It did not matter. They had already rejected him. And so they had rejected power and prestige.

Deeper into the forest Voldemort went, until the moon and stars were completely shut out by the thick tops of the pine trees. A faint white mist hung beneath the canopy, and the only sound was his muffled footsteps moving over the sun-deprived dirt. Dead leaves and pine needles crunched under his boots. His nose twitched at the sharp scent of dirt, sweat, and blood. He was not far from his quarry.

The ground dipped suddenly into a small ravine. The lip of the edge was steep, a sharp drop for unwary lost travelers in the Forbidden Forest. Voldemort knew this was how these creatures sometimes caught their prey. Like a spider's web, the prey would wander daftly into the net, falling into certain doom…

Voldemort descended lightly in the center of the ravine. Instantly, there were growls and snarls. From several holes in the sides of the ravine glowed pairs of eyes, mostly yellow, some red. Thirty very dirty, very angry wizards and witches burst from the dens, their yellowed teeth bared and their eyes narrowed in fury.

"Werewolves!" Voldemort announced. "Have you been reduced to living like your animalistic natures? Is this what the rest of the wizarding world has reduced you to?"

The werewolves paused, unsure of what to do. Voldemort continued.

"I offer you a chance of redemption. Of… revenge. Join forces with me, and you'll never go hungry again! Instead of being oppressed, _you _will dominate the lowly wizards and witches who have exiled you, just for being who you really are!

"Give me your allegiance, and all of you shall have your share of vengeance. All shall reap what they sow. All shall force those who had enslaved you to become slaves themselves, but with you as their masters!"

Silence met his words. Voldemort had not expected it to be easy, but he had hoped so, for time's sake. Looking around, he caught the eye of a wizard, who quickly looked away.

"Silus Ravens," Voldemort said slowly. "I never expected to see you here."

Silus pretended not to hear him.

"You were once a powerful, respected Auror." Voldemort reminded him. "And what did the Ministry do to you when they discovered your true nature?"

A muscle tightened in Ravens' jaw, but he did not speak.

"They threw you out!" Voldemort proclaimed to the crowd of listening werewolves. "All of you! They cast you aside like rubbish once they learned the truth about who you were. These "normal" wizards and witches are hateful, narrow-minded, and arrogant. They think that they can make the rules and cast out those who don't fit their mindset. Now is your chance to change your lives. Change the world with me." He gave a mirthless look at their caves. "Or continue to hide away in your holes in the dark like rats. Whatever pleases you."

More silence met his words. No growls. No snarls. No movement. Voldemort's hand closed more tightly around his yew wand. He could overpower these mongrels easily. But he wanted their allegiance. Their numbers and brute force were formidable, but he needed their burning bitterness and hatred most of all to win this war that he had waged against wizards and witches and those filthy Mudbloods and Muggles. The werewolves alone would not win the war, but their assistance would not go unnoticed by his forces.

Voldemort waited another minute for an answer, but none came. Then, out of the shadows, emerged a huge figure. He was tall, huge, and his blue eyes glinted in the dim light. He was a fierce looking man, and as he emerged into view, he picked his long yellow teeth. He could not have been more than twenty five years old, but already, his presence commanded respect from the other werewolves. Instinctively, Voldemort knew that this was the alpha. This was the one who would make the final decision.

"You offer us freedom." The werewolf growled.

Voldemort smiled slightly. "I offer you more than just that. I offer you a chance at a new world. A world that you can rule in."

"We aren't interested in ruling over anything." The werewolf growled, and this surprised Voldemort, though he did not let it show on his pale face. Instead, he waited in silence for the man to continue to speak.

"We want more." The huge werewolf went on, gesturing to his companions. "We need more of our own numbers. To ensure that we won't be wiped out by wizards."

"Why not breed?" Voldemort responded, and, predictably, drew several gasps and growls.

"Breeding is not enough." The werewolf snapped. "It is not fast enough. We must multiply by conversion."

"And how do you intend to do that?" Voldemort asked casually. "By attacking fully grown witches and wizards? Most of them can fight you off. The weaker ones…" He spread his arm out to indicate to the pack of werewolves, who glared balefully at the wizard.

The werewolf smirked. "By going for the children, of course."

Voldemort nodded, stroking his chin. "I see… You are cunning, Greyback." He rolled the hard wand between his long fingers. "You could have all the children you want if you join me. You can even have your revenge on these people for doing what they have done to you. Take their children. Convert them. Create more of your kind."

Greyback's mouth pulled back in an ugly smile to reveal his repulsive teeth, more beastlike than human. "Dark Lord," he said in a rasping, wolfish tone, "You have a deal."


	2. Diagon Alley

I was already too late.

The clock on the wall ticked quietly for a few seconds. And then, bursting from the top window of the house-shaped clock, a tiny cuckoo bird screeched, "LATE! AMBER IS LATE! LATE LATE LATE!"  
"Amber Harkstone!" My mother shouted, and I heard footsteps thundering from the other room. Seconds later, she appeared, huffing, her face red as she dabbed on the final touches of her makeup. Her pale blue eyes were like icy fire. "You were supposed to be ready to leave ten minutes ago! If we don't go shopping, you are not going to school this year!"

My two sisters, Virginia and Naomi, peered out from behind my mother's long blue skirt. Both were wide-eyed and nervous; it was extremely unwise to cross Mum, especially when there was a deadline involved.

"_Where _is your father?" She sighed exasperatedly, just as the tiny yellow cuckoo burst out of its nest for the second time and screamed in a high pitched mimic of my mother's voice, "Walter is late! Walter is late!"

"Mummy," Virginia piped up, the middle child, also Mum's favorite daughter, "Daddy said he was out tending to the animals. He said we should leave if we won't have enough time to wait."

"Oh, for heaven's sake," Mum snapped. "Amber, get yourself to the Portkey _now._ Girls, either you follow your sister, or you'll be left behind, too."

Naomi, a small girl of only six, rushed outside to the front yard, where a lamppost stood, its lamp glowing, even now in the morning light. It was nearly quarter of eleven according to the frenzied cuckoo clock, and it was still having a fit, unable to rest until everyone had resumed their schedules.

Ten chickens wandered around the yard, clucking as they pecked repetitively at the dirt, scrounging for bugs or worms. A single rooster, black as pitch, stood guard of his harem while they went about their foraging. Even from this distance, I could see our two horses grazing in our field, a quarter mile away, their long tails swishing at pesky flies. A small black goat in between them ate lazily, her tiny tail stub flicking. A black-and-white sheep dog kept a close eye the entire farm. One ear was flopped over while the other stood straight up. When he saw Naomi sprint for the Portkey, he barked once, a warning to slow down.

I glanced back at the house as I heard the distant cry of the cuckoo bird. I had never been to Diagon Alley before. And I had never left home before, either. After the shopping trip, it was straight off to the train for school. I had spent the night at Grandma's plenty of times, but for never more than a week. This… I would not see this patch of land for three months. And by the time I came back, late summer would have turned into winter. I wouldn't see autumn here again. The gorgeous camouflage of fire-colored leaves would be barren by the time I returned. And something inside me began to hurt.

I squashed the thought quickly, but not fast enough, because hot tears sprang to my eyes. I blinked them back and tried to remember what this place, home, looked like. A sunny yellow bungalow where I had grown up in sat in a grassy clearing, surrounded by tall trees of a forest behind the house and bordered by a fence on all other sides. The small red barn where our animals slept stood not far away, empty at the time, but soon to be reoccupied once the sun went down and the air became cold and chilly. The white picket fence that enclosed our property also created a boundary with our neighbors; the village of Bellinghall only had a few hundred occupants, most of whom lived outside of the village square. Bellinghall was a small community, with only a church, post office, pub, boutique, ice cream shop, and library. My family happened to be sandwiched between the library and our neighbors, the Northby's. The library was on the edge of the village, and after that, sprawled fields of green grass, endless until they reached the edges of towering green and purple mountains. It was one of the breathtaking views in Scotland's highlands, a view that would not be much different from the school I would be attending.

I could hear the cuckoo screaming at my mother this time, instead of my sisters. I pulled out a roll of parchment, where, written in neat black calligraphy, was my acceptance letter to my new school.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

Dear Miss Harkstone,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September, 1971. We await your owl no later than 31 July, 1971.

Yours Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Hands shaking, I rolled the letter up once again and glanced at the sky. Three geese flew together in a tiny V-formation. I wondered if at Hogwarts, I would learn to fly. I thought about what House I would be placed in, if they would let me choose for myself. I was torn between Gryffindor, home of the brave, and Ravenclaw, the home of the wise. Why couldn't I be both? What would my parents, both Hufflepuffs, have to say if they knew I wanted nothing to do with their own House?

I could hear my mother coming because the cuckoo bird had finally shut up. Brushing her brown braid out of her face, she stormed outside, her blue skirts flying in her haste. My two sisters flanked her like the two geese had flanked the leader. "Where is your father?" She demanded as she stepped treacherously close to the Portkey.

I shrugged, still searching the property for a sign of him. When he didn't appear in under five seconds, Mum swore and gripped the small hands of my little sisters. "Well, he's going to miss shopping."

_Can't imagine he'll miss _that _too much_, I thought mutinously as Virginia, my towhead sister, ten years old, took my hand sheepishly. Mum reached out for the lamppost. "Don't let go, girls," she said sternly, "Or else you'll be very seriously injured."

"Why, Mummy?" Naomi piped up, a little copy of Mum except for her green eyes, Dad's eyes.

"Never mind, Naomi." Mum sighed. "Just don't let go."

Virginia squeezed my hand tighter, smiling up at me. I grinned back. She was as excited as I was to be off to Diagon Alley. In only one year, Virginia would be off to Hogwarts as well.

"Ready? Three… two… one… now!" All of us stepped forward as Mum touched the Portkey. In an instant, we were being flung into the air, spun around tighter than the fastest carousel, pinned by the intense g-force…

"Let go!" Mum shouted after ten seconds of the dizzying ordeal, and obediently, we released our grip on the lamppost. Our feet touched solid ground again, and it was no longer grass and trees surrounded us, but cobblestones roads and brick buildings.

"We're here." Mum sighed. "Diagon Alley. Stay close, girls. Naomi and Virginia, don't let go."

"What about Amber, Mummy?" Asked Naomi, who was just as vocal as our cuckoo bird.

Mum rolled her eyes. "She's about to head off to school, Naomi. She is old enough to walk by herself."

Sharing a private smile with Virginia at Mum's exasperation, we walked down the crowded street. I remained in my Muggle clothes, and was aware of how painfully I stood out from these magical folk, who wore long, flowing cloaks and capes that billowed like black clouds with each step. Naomi watched it all with rapt attentiveness, but Virginia shrank close to Mum's side, afraid. She had always been shyer and more skittish than Naomi, even though she was ten years old, four years older than brave Naomi.

"Is Daddy going to join us?" Naomi asked Mum as we ducked into a store. Books were stacked, crammed, and placed precariously around the shop. Naomi ogled a fat book with pictures of wizards waving wands; Virginia stayed close to Mum's side.

"Here's your list of books," Mum said, handing me a piece of parchment.

The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk

A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling

A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore

Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander

The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble

"That's a lot of books," I muttered, searching for a librarian while Mum and Virginia wandered off to the back of the store. "I guess I'll get them myself," I said to no one in particular.

At least Dad would have helped me.

Fifteen minutes later, I hefted the load of books over to the counter. The bookseller was still busy with other customers, most of them in flowing black robes, many of them children like me, chattering away and each clamoring for the attention of the sole employee. I sighed. I glanced around again furtively, hoping that a cashier would magically appear.

Ten more minutes passed. Finally, I reached into my cloak and counted out the sum of the books. I left the money next to the register and picked up my books again. My arms were already aching in pain by the time I discovered Mummy and Virginia, sitting in the back of the store where all of the children's books were. Annoyance rose like a hot cloud; I swallowed it down and cleared my throat.

Mum glanced up, half-smiling. "I was wondering where you'd gone off to."

I forced myself to keep a straight face and not to roll my eyes. "I had to buy my books, Mum. For school."

"Right." She checked her pocketwatch. "Bloody hell! Your father _still _isn't here." She stuffed more Galleons into my purse. "Go on and get yourself a wand. Don't forget the rest of your items on the list."

I looked at Virginia, who sat contentedly on the floor, a picture book opened in her lap. They moved, smiling and waving, a moving story. There were little people and littler animals. Obviously, she'd pick a farm story.

"You and Virginia aren't coming?" I asked, wanting to share this moment with them, wanting Virginia to get experience in what she would be doing a year from now when she received a letter from Hogwarts herself.

Mum sighed. "She's enjoying her reading, Amber. She hasn't been feeling well." She searched the sea of faces for my youngest sister's. "Naomi!" She commanded. "Come here."

Sheepishly, Naomi put down a small book and came over. Naomi was only six, but she was already reading chapter books. Virginia, at ten, still read only picture books.

Curbing my thoughts away from Mum's parental efforts, I forced a second smile and took Naomi's hand. "Come on. Let's go finish shopping." I guessed we only had another hour before Mum would want to leave. But knowing her, she'd stay for however long Virginia wanted to.

"Leave your books with me." Mum said vaguely, as if the thought had just occurred to her. "You don't need to be lugging them around."

"Yes, Mum," I said, but I knew she was already focusing back on Virginia. Sighing, I led Naomi away from the stifling crowd of students and parents and back onto the cobblestone streets of Diagon Alley.

"Why doesn't she ever pay attention to us?" Naomi asked quietly as we walked from the book shop to a clothing outlet called _Madame Malkin's._

I squeezed her tiny hand. "She's just protective of Virginia." _And babying her to death._

Naomi frowned. "Why?"

Memories swam before my eyes, but instead of telling Naomi, I led her into the clothing store. "I'll tell you when you're older."

"How much older?" Naomi persisted as I walked up the owner of the shop. She fell silent as I asked, "Excuse me, ma'am?"  
A witch with necklaces of measuring tape turned, beaming. "Why, you must be a first year! Still in your Muggle clothes, too." She giggled. "We'll have to remedy that."

Naomi tugged her hand out of mine and began walking down the aisles by herself, admiring the robes and dresses. Independent Naomi, ever curious and wanting to learn. "She'll be alright," I told the witch. "She's just exploring."

"She seems bright," the witch remarked. "My name is Madame Malkins. And you are?"

I held out my hand. "Amber Harkstone."

She shook it. "My my. You have a grip like a prizefighter."

Heat rose to my face. "Sorry. I live on a farm. I have to help out with the chores a lot." The moment the words came out, I feel even more foolish. Blushing, I looked around the store awkwardly. "So, can you help me with my list?"

"Absolutely, dear." Madame Malkins said, not even glancing at the parchment list I clutched in my hands. "If you're a first year, you'll need three sets of plain black work robes, a black pointed hat, dragon hide gloves, and a black winter coat. Silver fastenings." She swept down the aisles, stopping every few feet to sift through racks of black robes. I noticed that was the only color for school clothes. I felt a stab of misgiving. Black was such a depressing color. I preferred blues, reds, whites, colors that glowed with life.

"Let's try one on, just to make sure it's the right fit." Madame Malkins led the way to a long mirror and waved a brown wand. A robe floated above, as if an invisible person flew high in the air.

I shuddered. "It looks like a lethifold."

Madame Malkins' arches raised. "You've seen one, child?"

I shook my head, unable to take my eyes off of it. "No, thankfully, but I've read about them."

She smiled. "You are strong, but yet, also, smart. You'll likely be a Ravenclaw. Or a Gryffindor." She frowned. "In fact, you'd be very suited to both. I was a Hufflepuff, myself."

I nodded, listening, watching as the robe magically descended upon me and engulfed my body. An instant later my head popped out, along with my arms. The hem brushed against my shoes, hiding them completely.

Madame Malkins clucked her tongue, circling me like a lion prowling around its prey. She wrapped her measuring tapes around my waist, chest, arms, and finally, measured from my feet to my head. She nodded approvingly.

"If you take good care of these, I can lengthen them next year." She smiled. "I think you'll be around 5'6 when you're fully grown."

Embarrassed, I didn't know what to say. So instead I called for my sister. "Naomi! We're ready to purchase my clothes."

"You have so many things here!" She exclaimed as Madame Malkins neatly folded my new clothes and placed them in a brown paper handlebag. "Do you make wedding dresses?"

"Of course." Madame Malkins beamed. "I make tuxedos, dresses, outfits for any occasion! And when might you be going off to Hogwarts?"

Naomi, delighted to be the center of attention for once, puffed out her chest and raised her chin a notch. "I'm going to be getting my letter when I'm eleven! That's a whole six years away, but at least I'll be able to be a first year when Amber is a seventh year! I bet she'll be Head Girl and be at the top of her class and win the House Cup each year!"

"Naomi," I chided gently. "No more pumpkin juice for you in the mornings."

"What a brilliant young girl!" Madame Malkins praised, amused. "That'll be seventy Galleons, dear."

I grimaced and handed over the payment. Mum and Dad were not wealthy and were very frugal. I'd been surprised I was able to attend Hogwarts at all, let alone afford the supplies.

"Have a nice day," I bade Madame Malkins, and had to drag a chattering Naomi away from out the door. She would have spouted facts all day to the poor woman all day if I hadn't.

"She was really nice!" Naomi gushed as we walked into the next store. We emerged with a cauldron, crystal phials, a telescope, and brass scales. Naomi stared at the amount of items in disbelief. "That's so much stuff, Amber!"

"Mum warned me to bring a suitcase." I muttered, feeling stupid for not heeding her advice. More than likely, she was still stationed by Virginia's side in the children's section of the bookstore. Naomi and I struggled to carry my school supplies. Sweat dripped down between my shoulder blades under the weight of the cauldron, filled with the other potion-making equipment. Naomi gripped the handle of the clothes bag with both hands.

"I wish Dad were here to help," she moaned.

"Well, he's not," I said through gritted teeth. "We just have to do it on our own. Besides, it's not so bad."

Naomi looked ready to kill our parents.

"Come on," I said quickly, wanting to deter her from her anger. "Let's go and get my wand."

Naomi's face lit up with excitement. My stomach tightened with butterflies as I realized that I was finally going to have my very own wand. My right arm tingled. A wand! My own wand!

I would finally be able to do magic. _Real _magic!  
"You're so lucky, Amber!" Naomi moaned, following me into Ollivander's, a small store with a large window in front displaying several wands out front.

"How do you know where all these shops are?" Naomi asked as we crossed the threshold.

I hid a smile. "By reading the signs, Ny."

"Oh." She shrugged and placed the bag of clothes on the ground heavily. She waved at her face as I set down the cauldron beside it. "I'm so tired. I love this place, but I wish Mum was here to help."

Giving her a sympathetic look, I approached the counter. A wizened man with a single tuft of snowy hair walked out from the depths of the store. His eyes were large, surveying the room like an owl watching for a scurrying mouse. Still, he wasn't frightening. Rather, he reminded me of my grandfather, who had a hobby for collecting chess pieces.

"Ah," the man said, his voice raspy with age. "You must be a Harkstone."

Naomi and I exchanged a surprised look.

"Don't look so bewildered," he laughed. "I remember selling your parents their first wands. Twenty-five years it's been! The days are slow, but the years are fast. Yes, I remember. Walter had a hawthorne wand, unicorn tail hair core, eleven inches. Very capable." His eyes clouded for a moment. "And Lena. Maple, with another unicorn tail hair core. Eight and three quarters inches. A little fragile, but good for charms." He brightened. "So, young witch, what will yours be, I wonder? Likely another unicorn tail hair core. It tends to run in families."

Naomi and I exchanged another look.

"And who might you be?" The man said, fixing his large blue eyes on my sister.

Naomi lifted her chin, undaunted. "Naomi Harkstone. I'm six."

He laughed good-naturedly. "I am Ollivander. I was six years old a long time ago too." He disappeared into the back again.

"I think he's weird." Naomi whispered fiercely.

I winked. "I don't think he gets out much."

Ollivander returned a moment later, holding four long black boxes. So much black. It was as if we were in a funeral home rather than in Diagon Alley.

"Try one." Ollivander encouraged.

Excitement burst inside of me. It was time to get a wand! I couldn't believe it. After eleven years, I was finally going to have my own.

Hands shaking, I reached for the box nearest me and opened it up. "Cherry, unicorn tail hair core, eight inches." Ollivander whispered. "Give it a good wave, girl."

I obeyed.

The chandelier above our heads exploded. Shards of glass rained down, pelting our heads.

"Definitely not!" Ollivander croaked, his eyes huge. He studied me carefully. "Try another one."

He waved his own wand, and the glass instantly reassembled and returned to the chandelier. Naomi watched me with eyes the size of dinner plates, her face ashen.

Nervous, I reached for the second closest box. I wasn't sure what to expect with this one. More exploding glass? I shut my eyes and gave it a flick.

There was a sound like a blanket being shaken out, and the room turned black, as if the light had been sucked out by total darkness. Naomi shrieked.

"Not that one either!" Ollivander shouted. "_Lumos!" _His wand tip lighted, and he waved his wand a second time. The darkness fled, the light restored. I set the wand down quickly and stared at the remaining two boxes.

Ollivander noticed me looking and quickly withdrew them. "I don't think you're going to be having a wand with a unicorn tail hair core." He said quickly, disappearing around the back.

"Do you think we should leave?" Naomi asked fearfully. "That was really scary, Amber."

I took several deep breathes to try and ease my racing heart. "It's fine, Naomi. This is what happens when you buy a wand. It has to choose you. If it doesn't…" I gestured to the chandelier. "It rejects you."

She nodded silently. Ollivander returned with two new boxes. "Dragon heartstring." He proclaimed. "They are the most powerful wands, capable of flamboyant spells. They learn quick, as do you." He nudged a box forward when I didn't reach for one. "Go on, give it another try. We'll find one for you eventually."

The first dragon heartstring wand simply wouldn't cast any magic. Faint red sparks fizzled at the end, and quickly died. Ollivander took it back and handed me the next box. The second dragon heartstring wand made my arm ache and caused the front window to shatter. Mortified, I hastily put the fourth wand back. Ollivander restored the window, but not before seeing my expression.

"Sometimes it takes time to find the right one." He said encouragingly. "Trust me, I've seen worse."  
"I doubt that." I said wearily, already resigning myself to the fact that I would probably not receive a wand. For a moment, I wondered if wizards could be capable of magic, but incapable of using wands to direct it. Would that make me a Squib? Or a pseudo-Squib?

Did that make me a witch at all?

As if he could read my thoughts, Ollivander reclaimed the boxes and fixed me with a stare. "I think I know the problem."

Despair pooled cold in my stomach. "Is it me?"

Ollivander shook his head. "Of course not. I know a capable wizard or witch when I see one." He smiled gently. "No, dear, your problem is that I have been giving you the wrong wands. We just need to find the correct one."

He came back with two final boxes. "This time, I want you to choose. I can't make the choice for you."

Our eyes connected, and I wondered what masked emotion I saw in his expression. Fear? Pity? Revulsion? Indifference? Swallowing against my racing heartbeat, pulsing hard in my throat, I reached for a box, and then stopped. I looked to the corner of the front room, oddly drawn. I walked away from the two boxes on the counter and approached a shelf crammed with thin boxes. For the first time, I noticed that only most of them were black. Some were brown. Fewer were red.

I selected a red box, carefully opening it. A dark brown wand, with a slight hint of auburn, rested in the white folds. My heart pounded faster, a war drum in my ears. I reached a trembling hand into the box, my fingers closing around the hard wood. My arm tingled, but not with pain. It felt like elated bubbles, popping on my skin lightly. It felt good. It felt right.

This time when I waved the wand, it didn't cause anything to explode or shatter. It didn't steal the light. Instead, the red box that had held it rose into the air, levitating, and floated towards me.

Heart pounding, I looked at Ollivander. He was grinning widely. "I should have known."

I felt a flicker of panic. "Known what?" Was there something wrong with this particular wand? Was I cursed? Was I not supposed to select my own wand? I kept my mouth shut, afraid to give breath to these fears.

Ollivander beckoned that I come back to the counter. I held the box and the wand in each hand, feeling as if I'd swallowed lightning.

"You are a very bright witch, Amber Harkstone. Humble, too, because you are blushing and won't meet my gaze."

Both statements were true.

"Additionally," Ollivander went on, "you chose your own wand. I should say, the wand chose _you. _And in this case, the wand that chose you is…" He carefully extracted the wand from my hand. It felt empty without the wand, as if I was missing a new extension of my myself.

He examined it. "Ah, yes. Ash. Hard. Phoenix feather core. Ten and ¾ inches. These kinds of wands are especially difficult to tame, and sometimes have a mind of their own. They also cling extremely tightly to their original owners, and should not be gifted or passed down. In your case, thankfully, you are the first owner." He smiled as he handed me back my wand. _My wand! _I felt a strong thrill of ecstasy. I was a real witch after all!

"Good luck with your new wand, Miss Harkstone. It will be very interesting to see what kinds of magic you are good in." He handed Naomi a red lollipop. "And _you_, little one; I'll see you again in five years when you receive _your _first wand."

Naomi's face lit up. It was as if she was promised Christmas was the very next day, instead of three months away.

"That will be fifteen Galleons," Ollivander went on, and I paid him with the last of my Galleons. Naomi and I turned and looked despairingly at the heavy merchandise that we needed to lug all the way back to Mum.

"Oh, and one more thing." Ollivander flicked his wand once. "Try picking them up now."

Naomi and I did as told.

"They're as light as feathers!" Naomi cried.

Ollivander nodded brightly. I smiled at him. He was an oddball, but a sincere, dear old man.

"Thank you for the wand, sir," I said, waving as I tucked the cauldron one-armed into the crook of my elbow. Naomi looked at the endless stacks of wand boxes excitedly. Someday, she'd be able to have her own, too. I felt excited for her, but nowhere near as excited as I felt about having my own. I squeezed my hand around it again. It fit perfectly in my palm. It was as if I had waited my entire life for this part of myself, and it was finally whole.

"That was so cool!" Naomi burst as we walked back to the book store. "I can't believe you got a wand, Amber! I mean, it was scary at first, when you did all that crazy stuff, but when you got the right one…!" She trailed off. She bent down to pick up a stick lying near the edge of a building and waved it, pretending to cast magic.

I laughed. "It wasn't me who made those things happen, you imp. It was the wands." _And now my own wand will do what I want it to do. _I felt power thrill up and down my right arm again. Would I ever get used to this new feeling of delight?

We reentered the book store and walked down the aisle to the back of the store. Mum and Virginia were nowhere to be found. The stack of books were gone, too.

The delight was slowly being replaced by a rising tide of frustration. "I hope she was the one who took my books." I would be furious if the clerk reshelved the already-purchased books. The clerk was still serving other customers. It looked like she'd be busy all day.

"Where's Mum?" Naomi asked as I stood still, biting my lip. Inside, I was fuming. It was just like Mum to leave, even when she hadn't told us where she'd be going.

"Come along, Naomi." I instructed. "We'll find her."

She fell into step beside me. I approached the clerk this time, slipping my way between a thick throng of customers, who gave me annoyed looks. I ignored them. The harried clerk was speaking to a redheaded witch, who had twin first-years anchored to her side, one near each hip. "Yes, I understand you don't offer discounts, but I'm trying to save some money here, and I've got _twins. _That's two sets of beginner books. Can't I at least get a _small _discount?"

The witch tried again and again to haggle, but the clerk continued to shake his head. Finally, after two minutes of pointless bargaining, I interjected, "Excuse me, but I seemed to have lost my mother."

The witch closed her mouth instantly, her eyes widening in shock. The clerk swung his head over, beady little eyes bright. "What?"

"My mother." I repeated. "Ours." I put an arm around Naomi's back. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her pouting her lower lip and summoning fake tears. It was a gift, being the youngest of three, to be able to summon crocodile tears on cue. "Please, sir, have you seen a witch with long braided brown hair and blue eyes? And a girl, with blonde hair, and blue eyes? They were in the children's section for awhile."

"Just a moment," the clerk said, distracted by the volume of customers he still had. "I'll be with you shortly."

Knowing it was just a ploy to stall, I shook my head. "Please, sir. My sister, she needs our mother. Desperately." _How true that was. _Taking the hint, Naomi burst into tears. Loud, heartbreaking sobs of a lost child. "I need my Mummy!" Naomi wailed. "Mummy! Where are you? MUMMY!"

I hid a smile. Naomi was smart. Too smart. She would almost certainly be sorted into Gryffindor someday for her nerve and willpower.

The redheaded witch looked outraged. "Can't you see this poor thing is lost? Help these girls find their mother!"

Other customers looked uncomfortable or determined to see help found for poor little Naomi and I. I gave the clerk my best sorrowful face. "Please, sir. She's only six."

He let out a gusty sigh, raking a hand through his thinning hair. "Alright, alright! I think I remember seeing a pair like that leave earlier. About twenty five minutes ago. They went towards Gringott's. But I didn't see them after that."

I nodded at him in thanks. "Come on, Ny," I said soothingly. "We'll find Mummy."

She sniffled, rubbing her eyes, hiccupping. "I want Mummy. Please. I need her!"

The little actress gave a stunning impression of Virginia.

"We'll go." I took her hand. "Come on now." I could feel the eyes of every customer on us as we departed the store. Once we were far away, Naomi wiped her tears for the last time and smiled brightly at me. "How did I do?"

"You could win a Jolie Award." I said seriously. "That was spot on, Naomi."

She grinned, basking under the praise. We walked in the direction of Gringotts, but Naomi stopped suddenly just before we reached the great white building. "Look! There they are!"

I followed her pointed hand, and felt a heave of rage. There they sat, at a red café, outside on the stone patio, eating sandwiches on a black wicker table. They seemed deep in conversation. My stack of books sat next to Mum's chair, knocked over and spilling onto the ground. With a shock of fury, I saw that at least two of the books were splayed on, their spines heaved up, cast aside like they were worthless.

"Mum!" I snapped, dragging Naomi with me. She let go of my hand, folding her little arms across her chest and fixing the two with her darkest glare. Mum looked up, seemingly annoyed. "What took you two so long?"

I struggled to keep my anger in check. Virginia watched us with fearful eyes. "We had to buy supplies, remember? That's the whole point of why we're here." I went over angrily and picked up my books. A fresh wave of rage washed over me when I noticed that several of the brand-new books had their pages pressed in odd ways from being kept on the ground. I looked away pointedly from Mum's face, afraid that if I looked, I'd lose control.

"Honestly, Amber, I don't see why you are so upset." Mum took another bite of her sandwich. My stomach growled. I was sure Naomi, the little weed growing in another spurt, was ravenous. "Your sister needs to eat. She has to keep her strength up."

Virginia gave me a sheepish look, ducking her head. She looked embarrassed. Mum looked haughty, almost as if she thought we had some nerve calling her out.

But I wasn't daunted. Flaring my nostrils, I tucked my books under the other arm. "You can't just leave a store without letting us know beforehand, Mum. Naomi and I didn't know where you'd gone."

She waved a hand indifferently. "You know that your sister's needs come first. She needs special care, Amber and Naomi." She was speaking to both of us now, lecturing us like we didn't already understand. "Your sister is weak and tiny and fragile and needs me. You two can handle yourselves."

Virginia looked more ashamed than ever. She hung her head, not even touching her half-eaten sandwich.

Mum was fanning the flames of my anger, but I didn't want to lose control. Not now. Not right before I left for school. Steeling myself, I gripped my new wand harder. "I used up all of the money. We don't have enough to buy lunch."

Mum rolled her eyes. "Come here and eat, Naomi. Have the rest of my sandwich." She gave me a cursory look. "Do you want to order something to eat?"

I shook my head. "I lost my appetite."

Mum spoke to Naomi and Virginia, while I reluctantly took a seat at the table, joining them. This time, I carefully arranged my supplies on the ground, so they stayed organized and neat. While Naomi told Mum about our adventures, she and Virginia listened. I stared at my new wand in my hand, waving it around casually, imagining the plate transforming into a tortoise. I wondered what kind of magic this wand was capable of. I wondered what kind of magic _I _was capable of.

"Amber!" Mum's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "You did get a wand! What kind is it?"

Something about the way she reacted grated on my nerves. _You did get a wand? _Did she think I wasn't going to get one?

Biting my tongue, I set my hand down over my wand. "Yes, I did. It's ash."

"She has a phoenix feather core!" Naomi blurted enthusiastically. "It's so cool, Mum! Ollivander said it was really rare and powerful!"

Mum was watching me with a guarded look. "They are. But everyone in our family has unicorn tail hairs."

At that remark, the last little spark of joy I had over receiving my wand flickered and died. Sour, I fixed Mum with a withering look. "Maybe I'm not really a part of this family."

Virginia gasped. Naomi looked horrified. Mum looked angry. "Now, Amber, really. That's preposterous. You're a part of this family. You're just… different."

"Not different." Naomi piped up. "You're special."

"Thanks." I muttered darkly, not comforted by either of them.

Mum smiled adoringly at Virginia. "When you get your wand next year, I'll be sure to be right there by your side. And I'm sure you'll get a nice unicorn tail hair. They have the least fluctuations and they're the least likely to turn to the Dark Arts."

Furious, I stood and scraped my chair back. My mother had single-handedly ruined my entire day. "I'm going for a walk." I announced coldly. "And then I'll go home."

Mum rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a drama queen, Amber. I didn't mean anything bad about your wand. It's only that, well…" She lowered her voice to barely over a whisper. "The Dark Lord has a phoenix feather wand core, too."

My final threadlike hold on restraint snapped. "So, you're insinuating that I'll turn bad and join You-Know-Who's forces, just because of my wand?" I was so angry I was shaking. Little red sparks spewed from my wand tip, hot like cinders.

"Amber!" Mum chided. "Keep your voice down!"

People were looking over, but I was so mad that I didn't care. "Pardon me while I go and get a Dark Mark, because then, maybe, I can do what you expect me to do!" I snatched up my supplies and stomped away, feeling the stares of many eyes on my back as I left my family behind.

I was seeing red. _My mother is impossible_! She treated everyone besides my angelic sister like they were jokes. On one of the most important days of my life, she was hardly there and then mocked me for my magical skill!

Angry tears welled up. No wonder Dad hadn't wanted to come. Of course he'd known today would be a disaster. Of course he'd known Mum would do this. But how could he not want to be apart of this? How could Dad, strong, proud dad, not want to help sort out the mess that was becoming our family?

I fixed my eyes on the lamppost in the middle of Diagon Alley. I walked past the pet shop, furious that I wasn't able to spend any more money to buy a pet. The letter said I could have one. A toad, cat, or a bat. But what I really wanted was an owl, something with wings, someone who was free to take to the skies whenever she wanted.

I closed my eyes. I knew Mum wouldn't give me any more money, because Virginia needed it. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

I knew I wasn't supposed to do magic outside of school, but dang it, I was eleven years old. I had a wand! I could do magic now, even outside of school.

I grabbed the lamppost and thought of the farm. The Portkey sucked me inside, leaving nothing behind.

I was sure Mum wouldn't miss me, even if I was under the Imperius Curse and ended up serving You-Know-Who. She probably wouldn't even miss me if I died. And I had a depressing feeling that I was right. At least, tomorrow, I started my first day at Hogwarts.


	3. The Hogwarts Express

It was late when Dad finally came home. He had left a note for me in the kitchen upon my arrival. He had explained that he had been called into work at the Ministry of Magic and would not return until after dark. It had been up to me to care for the animals, and so I had. The horses had been groomed, the eggs collected from the chicken nests, the cat brushed. All had been fed, even Romulus, our faithful sheep dog, who ate his bowl of kibble happily while I sat on the porch and flipped through my new textbooks. I practiced flipping the pages by using my wand instead of my hand. Mum and my sisters returned close to four, arms full of shopping bags. Clearly, the three had gone shopping without me.

Virginia and Naomi were long-asleep when Dad arrived by Floo network. I could hear him cough and putter around the living room, wiping his feet on the welcome mat in front of the hearth. Mum was in her room, probably knitting or reading, and undoubtedly keeping both ears open for Virginia.

Dad finally shuffled into the porch, rubbing his eyes. I glanced up from my opened _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_, the pages illuminated by the light of the lamp by my shoulder.

"Did you get your wand?" He asked, his voice tired. I felt pity for Dad. He worked so hard to provide for us. It was hard enough that Mum had quit her job at the Ministry in order to take care of Virginia; now the full weight of financial responsibility rested on Dad's shoulders.

"I did." I tried being nice to Dad, because even though we had never been close, he had always watched out for me and had my back. Dad didn't say much, but I knew he loved me. I held out my new wand, which I had hardly not held since Ollivander's, for him to see.

Dad came closer and leaned down to examine it. His tired face brightened. "My eldest child, already getting her first wand." He sighed. "Where does the time go?"

I smiled up at him. "What do you mean, Dad?"

He touched my shoulder softly. "I feel like it was only five minutes ago that you were on my shoulders, watching the match between the Holyhead Harpies and the Montrose Magpies." He sighed again. "Then I blinked."

I remembered that tonight was my last night here, and that until Christmas, Hogwarts would be my new home. My throat tightened. "I'm going to miss you, Dad."

He gave me a brief hug. His golden stubble scratched my face. He smelled like fatigue, peppermint, and faintly of smoke. He smiled, the lines around his eyes crinkling. His golden hair didn't have any gray in it, though I was sure his soul carried age marks. "I love you, sweetheart. You'll be just fine."

Heart in my throat, I bit my lip, not wanting to cry in front of him. Dad patted my shoulder and began to walk away.

"Dad," I managed, my voice thick, "Mum…" I didn't want to cause more trouble between them. So I tried again. "I didn't have enough money for everything on my list."

Even though his back was to me, I could tell what this information cost Dad. He rubbed his back with one arm, seeming to deflate a little. "What are you missing?" He asked quietly.

I wanted to hang my head in shame. It wasn't Dad's fault that we didn't have enough money! "It was just one thing. It's stupid, really."

"Tell me, Amber."

I hesitated, then said, "I didn't get a pet."

Dad turned, half-smiling. "I thought you were going to say you didn't have enough for clothes or something."

I shrugged, already wishing I hadn't told him. He had enough on his overloaded plate already. "It's just something. I guess I always wanted a bit of the farm to take with me. And I know that Jewels doesn't want to leave her mice and hay for a dorm."

Dad nodded. "I'm sorry, honey. We'll have enough next year."

I gave him another smile. "Thanks, Dad. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Amber." He disappeared into the dark kitchen. I heard him climb the creaky stairs. I wondered what Mum and him would talk about. If he would be able to see me off to school tomorrow.

Hugging my knees to my chest, I tried to remind myself of what a great school Hogwarts was. Out of all the places, Hogwarts had chosen _me_. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the fact. Both of my parents had gone, but that was before money had become an issue. I wondered how we would ever afford for me to go another year, let alone send Virginia, if Mum would even let her go in the first place.

Sighing, I took my mind off of the distracting thoughts by reading more of what Newt Scamander had written about his travels and the creatures he had discovered. I read again about lethifolds and thought of my new robes, waiting to be put on. I read about werewolves and basilisks, flobberworms and threstrals. I fell asleep reading about dragons and all of their different subspecies.

A rooster crowed at daybreak, bringing me out of my troubled sleep. I could smell coffee brewing. Mum or Dad must have already woken up. I rose from the daybed, stretching my sore muscles. I hadn't slept as well as I wanted to. My sleep had been patchy at best. I had kept waking up, worried I had missed the train for Hogwarts.

Light footsteps approached. I braced myself for Mum's arrival. Instead, a pixie-like girl entered, timid and unsure. She sat down on the bed, still in her nightgown, her cornsilk-blonde hair loose and tumbling down her back.

"Virginia?" I said, yawning, rubbing the grit from my eyes.

"Hey, Amber." Her voice was wispy, thin. She coughed and glanced at me. "I'm sorry about yesterday. About Mum."

I looked toward the kitchen. "Isn't she awake?"

Virginia shook her head. "Dad's up. He's outside with the animals."

"What time is it?" I wondered, wishing my eyes would stop feeling so heavy.

"It's still early, don't worry." Virginia pleated the hem of her white shirt. She had Mum's eyes exactly, sky-blue and empty. She cleared her throat. "I'm really happy for you, Amber. And I think it's really cool that you have a phoenix feather wand." She ducked her head. "Naomi thinks I'm a Squib."

I frowned at my frail sister. "You are not, Virginia. You're just sick."

She coughed again, and I could hear a rattling noise in her chest. "Do you want me to get Mum?" I asked, concerned.

Virginia shook her head vehemently. "Mum needs to sleep, too." She looked so tired. Even at ten years old. She looked more tired than Dad. "I just wanted to be able to be with you before you went away."

Well, at least she was apologizing. I had never held any anger toward Virginia, only at Mum. And even then, I wasn't sure it _was _anger. What was it, then?

"Naomi thinks you'll be in Gryffindor." Virginia went on, her voice getting steadier. "I think you'll be in Ravenclaw."

"You'll be in Hufflepuff, I bet." I remarked. "Just like everyone else in the family. Oh, and don't forget your unicorn tail hair wand." I mimicked Mum's voice.

A bubble of laughter escaped from Virginia's lungs. "I think a dragon heartstring would be cool. They're so powerful."

I smiled at her. "Here, try this." I handed her my new wand, still shiny from its polish. "Just be careful."

Virginia's eyes widened. Her lips parted. "Are you sure, Amber? I could get in trouble."

I waved off her concerns. "Just try it. It's not going to kill you."

Smiling, Virginia gave a tentative flick. "Give it a little more." I encouraged, and Virginia swung the wand upward. Something upstairs made a loud _bang! _Virginia's blue eyes rounded to the size of full moons and she immediately handed me back my wand.

"_Amber!_" Mum yelled. "No magic outside of school!"

Virginia and I exchanged a look and burst into laughter.

"Come on," I said, pulling her cold hand into mine, "Let's cook some breakfast for her."

Virginia and I made fried eggs and chocolate chip banana pancakes. She laid ten strips of bacon on the skillet while I sizzled them. Virginia closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "Isn't that the most wonderful smell ever?"

"What?" I asked, grinning. "My cooking?" I twirled the spatula expertly.

"Bacon." Virginia moaned. "I'm going to make bacon-scented candles and sell them."

"I'm sure you'd make some big bucks, Ginny," I teased. "I'll be your first customer."

Her eyes glowed. "I'll have some ready by the time you get back for Christmas."

Naomi tottered down the stairs and to the table. "Amber's cooking, Mum!" She announced loudly. "I'll get a bucket of water ready!"

"Hush, you imp!" I chortled, sticking my tongue out at her. Naomi returned the gesture.

"Hurry up!" Virginia begged. "It smells so good!"

I laid two pancakes, two pieces of bacon, and a single fried egg on each plate. Virginia poured herself a cup of tea while Naomi slurped down fresh milk from our neighbors. I sat down with a glass of pumpkin juice and dug in to my plate.

"So yummy." Naomi sighed, while Virginia moaned in agreement. Mum emerged from her room when we were half-finished with breakfast. She raised a brow and sat down. "Amber, you made this?"

"Yup." I didn't feel like talking to her much, not after yesterday.

Mum sighed and ate a piece of everything. "Nice job." She said, and focused her attention on Virginia. "Did you sleep at all honey?"

Virginia looked hassled. "Yes, Mum."

"How is your stomach? This is a heavy breakfast."

My mood was quickly souring again. I ate the rest of my food in a hurry and brought it to the sink. I washed it quickly and left it to dry on the rack.

"Thanks for breakfast, Amber." Virginia called as I went up the stairs to find my suitcase and begin packing.

Clearly, Mum hadn't forgiven me yet. And I had no plans to do the same either. I wanted an apology first. But I had a feeling I wasn't going to get one. Not for awhile.

At least she made me look forward to going to Hogwarts.

I changed into comfortable Muggle clothes. Jean shorts, a black tank top, a red flannel shirt, and sandals. I fixed my slightly curling honey-blonde hair in the mirror and studied my reflection. Would I ever grow into those gigantic brown eyes? Would I ever look like a woman, instead of a girl?

Dejected, I brought my empty suitcase downstairs and began loading textbooks inside. In went the cauldron and the potion equipment. In went the robes and clothes. I had kept most of my things in the porch, ready to go, but lacking a suitcase. I wanted to be sure to remember to fill it before I forgot the whole thing.

Reluctantly, I tucked my wand inside the folds of my soft clothes carefully. I didn't want any harm coming to it. I had had a nightmare about it being snapped in half and never wanted to see such a thing happen to it, ever.

I thought about asking Dad or Mum to perform some protection charms, but didn't want to sound too worrisome. My luggage would be just fine. Feeling antsy, I wandered outside to walk the edge of the property one last time.

The horses flicked their long tails at me as I walked past. Romulus padded over and licked my hand. His nose was wet and cold, like snow. I rubbed behind his ears and threw a crap apple for him. He chased after it like lightning.

I watched the sun climb higher by degrees, shortening shadows and bringing more light. Most of the trees were still green, but some were already blushing with the colors of the fall. One maple was more red than green. It was probably sick or old.

I thought of Virginia.

Something cracked on the edge of the forest. I turned slightly, remembering my fight with Mum. I thought of You-Know-Who, and suddenly found myself on the ground, on my back, staring up at the empty blue sky.

A blur of black-and-white streaked past me, and I heard the sound of bodies colliding together. I pushed myself on my elbows, wishing desperately for my wand. Romulus was locked in combat with something canine and brown.

I screamed, more out of fear for Romulus than for myself. There were terrible growls and snarls, guttural, primeval noises that raised the hairs on the back of my neck. Finally, the two shapes broke apart.

Romulus ran in front of me, standing protectively, one shoulder missing a clump of fur and bleeding. His lips were pulled back fully to expose his gleaming white teeth. He let out another ferocious growl and rose his hackles even more, so that he looked twice his size.

A coyote, snarling, stood ten feet away, bleeding from his muzzle and his flank. His yellow eyes were wild and furious. Romulus snapped his jaws again, daring the coyote to move forward. I let out a scream again, this time directed at the coyote. My heart was pounding so hard I could hardly stand, but I wanted to scare this thing off. Using bravado, I let out another shriek and waved my arms. I wanted to look big and tall and scary.

The coyote flattened his ears. Romulus lunged again for the coyote. This time, the coyote turned and fled into the woods. Romulus gave chase.

"Romulus!" I cried, terrified that the dog would be ambushed by more coyotes. I could hear undergrowth shaking as they got farther away. I realized I was alone again, and horribly unprotected. I was almost a mile from home. Of course no one would hear me.

I glanced around wildly, trying to find a weapon, when Romulus burst out of the trees. He was panting from running, but he looked fierce. He nudged me toward the direction of the house. I obeyed him and took off at a sprint for the farm.

Romulus kept pace well, but I knew his shoulder would be hurting. When we arrived breathless at the barn, I hurried to get him a salve and gauze. Romulus followed me. His tongue lolled out, as if he already didn't care about his fight. As if he was invincible and hadn't been worried in the first place.

"Thank you, Romulus," I whispered, dabbing the antiseptic salve into his wound. He licked my face. Fighting back tears, I held a wad of gauze over the wound. Red dots seeped through, but after five minutes, it pulled away clean. His wound would be healed within the day.

I tried to think of how the attack had happened. Was the coyote hunting? Maybe it was so hungry it had decided to try and eat me. Or it could have been defending its pups. Maybe there was a den nearby. I shuddered and remembered how quickly I had been flat on my back. Dad had warned that when confronted with creatures, you always wanted to be on your feet. Your chances of survival went drastically down the moment you went to the ground.

I gave Romulus a bowl of treats, rubbing his ears, hoping the calming gesture would soothe my frayed nerves. My hand shook badly, more than when they had yesterday at Ollivander's. Romulus wagged his tail and ate. When he was finished, my shaking had all but stopped. I breathed in deeply, never wanting to be caught unarmed again. I returned to the house and dug my wand out. I slipped it into my pocket. Even if I was a brand new witch, I would be prepared. Even if I just had a wand, I would stand a chance.

Mum swept into the porch. "Oh, good. You're almost ready." She was wearing a blue dress, her brown hair parted in two French lace braids. "Your sisters will be ready soon, too."

"How are we getting to the station?" I asked as I checked my hair in a mirror. It was crazy as usual.

"Portkey." She paused, as if she wanted to say more, but gave me a sad look instead before leaving the room.

I swallowed, fighting tears again. Why did my departure have to be so dramatic? Lugging my suitcase outside, I waited by the lamppost again, scanning the trees for a sign of wildlife. But when Mum showed up with Naomi and Virginia ten minutes later, there was nothing. Just the farm animals. Romulus sat in the field, ears half-pricked, guarding the farm. My heart warmed toward the loyal dog. I was going to miss him.

"Where's Dad?" Naomi asked Mum, who only shook her head. "Who knows, Naomi. If he isn't here in five minutes, he's going to miss Amber's departure."

The thought saddened me. I understood his missing school shopping, but would he miss the train departure, too? I looked down.

"There he is!" Naomi cried, and my head snapped up. Sure enough, Dad emerged from the barn, grinning widely. In one hand he carried a cage.

My heart picked up speed as he got closer. Inside the cage sat a brown-and-white shape. I looked at him wildly. "Is that…?"

"Your pet." Dad handed me the cage reverently. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Excitement replaced the fear from this morning. It was a pet! A beautiful, gorgeous barn owl. It blinked open its slitted eyes, revealing pit-black eyes set against a snowy white, heart-shaped face. It hooted once and ruffled its pretty feathers. It closed its eyes again, sleeping.

"Dad, thank you!" I hugged him with one arm. "Thank you so much!"

"It took me all morning to find him and catch him." Dad explained. "Sorry I missed breakfast, ladies. I'm sure it was delicious."

"It was." Virginia confirmed.

"Dad, this is so wonderful." I would be able to take a part of the barn with me to school. A real, living part. I could hardly believe it.

"You can name him whatever you want. He's young, probably been out of the nest for a few weeks. Kind of like you, soon." He glanced at all of us. "You ladies ready for the station?"

Mum was watching him with a look of displeasure on her face. "You sure you want to go out in public like that?"

Disdain for her nagging dampened my joy of having a new pet. But before I could snap at her, Dad said brightly, "This day is about Amber, not me. Besides, I can change afterwards." He nodded to the lamppost. "Let's go, ladies. The train leaves in under an hour."

The five of us touched us hands to the cool black lamppost. I had a final glimpse of the farm a moment before we were sucked inside the limbo that would take us to the train station. A moment later, our feet touched solid ground again.

We stood at the edge of a brick pillar. Muggles milled about, some together, but most of them walking in solitude. Dad gestured to a brick pillar a few feet away. "Now, Amber, what you're going to want to do is run through that brick wall."

I faced him like he was crazy. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Mum snorted.

Dad ignored her. "It's like a portal. It separates our world from the Muggles." He nodded. "Go on. We'll be right behind you."

I wondered if Mum planned on coming, but I held my tongue and instead tried to ignore my legs, which were getting shaky with adrenaline. Run through a brick wall? I took a deep breath. The barn owl opened one eye, gazed at me, then closed it again. If the owl wasn't upset, I took comfort in the notion that I should relax, too.

"Go on, Amber!" Naomi encouraged. "You can do it!"

I took another deep breath. _Just do it. _I gripped the handle of the suitcase tightly, so that the whites of my knuckles showed, and trotted towards the pillar. I broke into a run just before, and shut my eyes tightly, expecting to meet a hard, unforgiving mass of brick.

Instead I kept going. I opened my eyes in disbelief, slowing to a stop. I was in a whole new part of the train station. White steam billowed from a sleek black-and-red locomotive, which then issued a single high-pitched whistle from its horn. A red plaque on the face of the train read in gold letters _HOGWARTS EXPRESS. _In white numbers beneath it was 5972.

It let another shrill whistle. The conductor wandered along the platform, collecting tickets and greeting families. Packed onto the concrete were endless witches and wizards, saying their final farewells and giving last-minute hugs and kisses. I didn't hear my own family approach from behind me until Dad cleared his throat and said, "Well, I guess this is it."

I turned on my heel hard, fighting against the sudden hotness in my eyes, the lump in my throat. Dad's eyes were red-rimmed from exhaustion, but I recognized the sheen of tears in them. He pulled me into a tight embrace. "I love you, Amber," he whispered in my ear. "We'll write you as often as you want."

I nodded tightly, knowing that if I gave an inch, I would dissolve into tears in front of not just my whole family, but my new classmates.

Naomi bulldozed into my arms like a wrecking ball smashing into a building. I had to take a steadying step to keep from falling over. "I'm going to miss you." I managed, rubbing her small back. Naomi lifted her chin, smiling bravely, even though tears streamed down her cheeks.

I had to avert my gaze. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back my own tears for much longer.

Virginia hugged me lightly. Her skinny arms were like matchsticks around my shoulders. She was so cold, like ice, even though she wore a thick white sweater around her tiny frame. She squeezed my hand gently. "Do your best. Write me."

"I will." I promised, knowing time was running out with my family. _It isn't forever, Amber_. I thought crossly. _Get over it. _

Mum nodded. "You'll want to get on the train, now. Looks like most of the luggage has already been put away."

Breathing deeply, I struggled to hold my emotions in check. No goodbye from Mum. No surprise. "Guess it's my turn to get on the train."

Mum looked uncomfortable. She put an arm around Virginia's bony shoulders. My sister wilted like a dead flower, looking more ashamed than ever. Desperately close to tears, I brushed past them, luggage in tow. My wand brushed against my hip, a reminder that I was not just a member of the Harkstone family, but now, a bonafide witch. I didn't need their approval, least of all Mum's.

"Amber!" Mum called out. I glanced back uncertainly.

Her face was rather pinched. "Make sure you don't get into any more trouble. I don't want to hear anything from your professors about your behavior." Her blue eyes narrowed. "And try not to make an utter fool out of yourself."

Dad looked outraged. "Lena!" He snapped, but the damage was done.

Hurt beyond words, I turned away and clenched my luggage with a grip that couldn't have been loosened by any spell. My suitcase was heavy and I struggled to heave it aboard. "Come on!" I cried, and with a final heave of effort, it jumped into the train. Hot tears were already coming fast; I kept my head down as I passed several students, chattering excitedly and completely oblivious to me.

I stumbled into the first compartment I could find. Two my horror, two boys, both black-haired and young, stared at me. I looked away, embarrassed, wishing just for an empty compartment where I could unleash the torrent of tears.

"Sorry," I whispered, trying to back up, but the door had swung shut. The latch, old and rusty, didn't want to budge.

One of the boys giggled. I hunched my shoulders and tried harder to open the doorjamb. "What's the matter?" One of the taunted. "Miss Mummy and Daddy already?"

"What a crybaby." The other said loudly. "Did you pack any diapers, baby? Wouldn't want you to wet the bed, now."

Their words flew like darts and struck true in my heart. Choking on a sob, I whipped out my wand and pointed it at the door. "Open up!" I wept, banging harder. The wand did nothing in my hand.

The boys laughed. "She's a Squib, too!" The slapped their hands on their pants as if it was the funniest joke they'd heard in a long time.

Wanting to die, I covered my face and let the tears come.

"Awww," the brown-eyed boy sneered, fixing his glasses on his nose. "Does someone need a napkin or a tissue? You're getting boogers all over the place."

"Bloody Hell," the other one sniggered, "better tell the conductor we have a runaway toddler on the train."

Why? Why did every day that was meant to be happy and special have to turn out so rotten? What had I done to earn this? Hadn't Mum's cruelty been enough of a punishment?

Suddenly the door opened. Without bothering to see who had finally opened the impossible door, I grabbed my luggage and bolted. Ducking my head, I glanced at each compartment frantically, praying for an empty one.

"You can come in here, if you like."

I looked up sharply. A girl, my age, had opened her sliding glass door. Her brilliant green eyes filled with worry. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "Can I come in, please?" My voice quavered like a child's, but I didn't care.

Her face softened with sympathy. "There's room for you." She opened the door wider to allow access. The only other occupant was a sallow-faced boy with limp black hair hanging by his face. He looked profoundly irritated at my arrival.

"Sev, she can sit with us, can't she?" Asked the redheaded girl as she closed the door tightly. I peeked at the door, hoping that this one wouldn't stick shut.

The boy rolled his black eyes. "I suppose."

Trembling, I sat on the upholstered chair, wiping my eyes. The girl handed me a tissue. I took it, grateful. I blew my running nose into it, earning a sour look from the boy across the compartment.

"I was just crying too," the girl admitted. "So I have lots more, if you need them."

I wiped my eyes with the backs of my sleeves. "Thanks."

She smiled kindly. "I'm Lily Evans. This is Severus Snape."

Severus winced, as if he wished Lily hadn't revealed his name.

"I'm Amber Harkstone." I took another tissue and wrapped the dirty one inside. I stuffed it inside of my pocket, not seeing a trash can. Severus grimaced.

Already feeling like a complete fool, I cleared my throat and tried to sound as normal as possible. "Are you first years, too?"

Lily nodded enthusiastically. "Yup! Severus and I are going to be in Hufflepuff together."

That remark earned two bulging eyes from the solemn boy, who made a retching noise. "I'm going to be in Slytherin, like my mother. Hufflepuffs are complete idiots."

Despite my mother's treatment of me, I felt heat rise to my face. "My entire family's been in Hufflepuff." I said evenly.

Faint spots of color rose to Severus' cheeks. Lily sighed. "I don't have any family in Hogwarts." She confessed. "I'll be the first one ever."

"Did they attend a different school?" I asked, curious. "I almost went to B.B. Seed's in Glasgow."

Snape looked unimpressed, but even so, slightly intrigued. "Me too."

"It's the poor kid's alternative." I muttered. "I almost couldn't afford attending Hogwarts."

Lily looked distressed. "That's terrible. Education is a wonderful thing. It should be for everyone."

Snape nodded once.

"My parents are Muggles," Lily explained. "I don't have a drop of magical blood in me."

"Of course you do." I corrected. "If you're a Muggleborn, you must have an ancestor somewhere that was a Squib." I instantly thought of Virginia, weak and unhealthy. Did her illness make her a Squib? Or did it just suppress her magic?

"Squib?" Lily echoed, not understanding.

"A person born to magical parents, but doesn't have magic themselves. So you _do _have magical blood, but it just skips generations sometimes. Like for my dad. He's a Muggle-born too."

Lily blinked. "Did we have summer homework?" She asked suspiciously.

"No." Severus answered. He narrowed his eyes at me. "She's just a know-it-all."

Dislike, fresh and ugly, rose like bile in my throat. Lily fixed Severus with a look that said _Shut up_. I squared my shoulders and held my tongue. If he wanted to be a pessimist, fine. That was his choice. I wasn't going to sink to his level unless he grabbed me and dragged me down.

"You know," Lily said after a long, awkward silence, "Sev says that first years get to ride in boats across the lake! They don't have to take the carriages like the other years do."

Severus watched me coldly. I wondered if there was any emotion behind those obsidian eyes. "What kind of boats?" I said, meeting Severus' gaze squarely. He narrowed his eyes and looked away. He stared out the window, his jaw rigid.

"I don't know." Lily said, frowning slightly. "What kinds of boats? Sev?"

"Little ones." He responded. "My mother said only two or three can fit inside each."

Lily beamed. "So the three of us can share!"

Severus let out a tiny groan. Already wishing I was alone in my own compartment, I forced a smile. "We'll see, Lily."

I pulled out a book from my suitcase randomly. _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _was my reading material for the train ride to Hogwarts Castle. Opening the stiff, new cover, I began at Chapter One and studiously read each line, wishing I could highlight the noteworthy bits. _When I learn some spells, _I thought determinedly, _I'll be able to do anything. Even highlight my books!_

Lily babbled on and on to Severus. He mostly listening, pausing every few hundred words to give me a disgruntled scowl. Clearly, he hadn't wanted to share his journey with anyone other than Lily. She respected my wish to remain buried in literature and didn't try to include me in her near-monologue. I appreciated the tactfulness. As gregarious and friendly as she was, I wanted nothing more than to escape my own unsavory emotions and problems by delving into what Newt Scamander had written.

The light began to fade after several hours of travel. Lily craned her neck, pressing her face against the glass excitedly. "We're almost there!" She said excitedly. "I can see the castle!"

I felt a flutter of trepidation. Hogwarts Castle. My new home for the next year. Did I really want to see it?

But even gloomy Severus had joined Lily at the window, gazing out hopefully. I closed the book and peered around her long flame-colored hair. Sure enough, there was a castle. It was still miles away. Nevertheless, it loomed like a many-spired mountain from the hills and trees. It was impressive and formidable, even from our distance.

"Won't be long now." Severus predicted, unable to take his eyes off of the castle.

"Oh, Sev!" Lily exclaimed. "Won't it be wonderful? I hope we're in the same House! This is so exciting!"

She gave her friend a quick hug, earning an embarrassed blush from him. He looked even more shy when he stole a quick glance in my direction.

I stowed my book and resolved myself to watch the rest of the journey by the window. Pine trees passed by in a dark green blur. The fields and meadows that we had crossed were becoming overtaken by forests. In minutes, we were speeding through a tunnel of trees, the sky completely blocked out by leaves and tree trunks.

"I wonder what's in there." Lily said softly.

Severus grimaced. "Lots of things. I bet there's evil stuff in there."

"Evil stuff?" Lily repeated, her green eyes widening in fear.

"Not like that," Severus said quickly, backpedaling. "I mean, there's werewolves and stuff in there. And centaurs. And, there's probably giant bugs, too…"

He trailed off at the look on Lily's face. She looked slightly sick.

"There's also unicorns." I interjected. "Thestrals, too."

"Unicorns?" Breathed Lily. A glimmer of awe appeared in her eyes.

I nodded. "I read about it in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. _Did you know that thestrals are invisible to most people? Only those who have seen death can see them."

"Oh, wow!" Lily said. "You're smart, Amber!"

Severus rolled his eyes. I wanted to scrub that arrogant smirk from his face.

A teenage girl with brown hair and gray eyes poked her head in the door. "You'll want to put your black robes on." She piped. "We'll be arriving soon and they'll make you get back on the train to London if you aren't properly dressed!"


	4. The Sorting Hat

She was gone as quickly as she had come. The three of us exchanged a wide-eyed look of horror. Instantly, we were each digging through our own bags, trying to find just one robe. We were cloaked in less than a minute.

The train slowed, and then groaned to a halt. A flurry of students flooded the aisle and poured outside. Lily jumped up and grabbed her suitcase. I followed her example, earning a sleepy hoot from my awakening owl. "I can't let you out yet." I told him. "I don't know if you'll come back to me!"

He gave me a sardonic look.

"Come on!" Lily encouraged. "Let's go!" She waited while Severus picked up a battered satchel and hurried to her side. I was left to follow them from behind.

The moment we left the compartment, we were swept along with the tide of students, exiting en masse through the open doors of the train. Lily and Severus didn't stop until they were at the edge of the crowd. "Leave your luggage here!" A haggard man hawked. "Right here on the pile! Leave your suitcases and pets behind!"

"I guess that answers the question I was about to ask," Lily joked, depositing her belongings at the pile. Severus copied her. I hesitated, worried about the owl.

"Don't worry," a male voice said from beside me. I turned and faced a tall teenage boy, with a friendly face. "They'll bring your owl to the owlery. They'll take good care of him."

"Thanks." I said, unsure of how to react. So far, almost everyone today had been seemingly out to get me. Only Lily had been truly kind.

"I'm a fourth year." He went on. "Sean Locke. I'm in Hufflepuff. You must be a first year."

Was he going to be as mean as those two boys in the first compartment? Fidgeting nervously, I replied, "I am."

He pointed towards a group of students. "That's where you need to be. The boats will depart soon. You don't want to miss that. You'll never have another chance. After this year, it'll be carriages only."

His tone reflected nothing but kindness. Even so, I still pictured those two boys with dark hair, dark eyes, and even darker attitudes. "Thanks." I mumbled, and hurried away quickly. Lily and Severus were already huddled at the edge of other first year students. "What took you so long?" Lily whispered.

"Nothing." I murmured. "I had to-"

"Shh!" Severus hissed. "Listen!"

I opened my mouth to fire off a retort, my patience with Severus reaching an end, but sure enough, a man was speaking. He loomed like a tower above the crowd of students, the whiskers on his long beard glinting in the moonlight.

"Over here! First years!" The huge man called out. "Follow me, now! This way!"

"We just go after him?" Lily muttered. Severus nodded. A surge of annoyance bubbled like lava in my stomach. He silenced me, but not Lily?

The giant turned and walked down a forest path. Even from my distance, I could feel the vibrations from his heavy footfalls. The crowd of first years fell into step behind him. Lamps on tree trunks illuminated the pathway, mosquitoes and moths hovering around them like little planets orbiting a sun. Lily was the first to spot the lake. She let out a small gasp of awe and pointed. "Look over there!" She whispered. "There it is!"

I couldn't see from my place behind the rest of the students. But sure enough, as the group of black-robed spread out on the shore, I was able to see clearly.

The lake was a mirror beneath the night sky. It was impossible to tell which was sky and which was water, except for the small fleet of tiny boats moored at the shore. At the prow of each was a single candle-lit lantern.

"No more than four to a boat!" The giant instructed. "Pick your vessel and let's cross the lake. We don't want to be late for your own Sorting!"

Perched on the slope of a rocky mountain was a huge castle, each window illuminated with a tiny golden square. Spires rose into the air, towers and crenellated castle walls cutting into the skyline. Ridges and peaks of mountains rose around the castle, a natural fortress of protection.

"Come on!" Lily urged, plowing ahead of the other students, gallantly leaping into the first boat she could find. Severus tore after her, clearly determined not to be separated. It was futile, I knew. There was no way a boy dead-set on being in Slytherin could ever be in the same House as a sweet, kind girl like Lily, who was destined for any House but.

"Amber, come on!" Lily called. "There's room for one more!"

Surprised to be invited, I hurried to the edge of the boat. Severus's smile was replaced by a scowl. I ignored him and clambered over the edge of the boat and sat down on the creaking wooden seat. Lily clung to the light pole, her eyes reflecting the starlight and the lights from the castle.

"Isn't it breathtaking?" She whispered.

I watched Severus stare at her, like a child watching a Christmas tree. "Yeah," he agreed quietly. "You are."

Understanding struck like lightning. No wonder Severus had been so snarky to me! He was jealous of Lily's attention! He wanted it all for himself, undivided and unsquandered. I couldn't blame him for wanting attention from her. After all, hadn't I longed for the same thing from my mother for most of my life?

The students filled the boats quickly. No one else entered ours, mostly because of the looks Severus shot them when they came too close. The large man waved a flowery pink umbrella, and the boats pushed themselves off of the beach, grinding against pebbles and tiny rocks as they floated out into the open black water. Stars glimmered on the glassy surface, shimmering when the boats rippled the water. The castle loomed closer, a beacon of light in the darkness of the lake and mountains. The only sounds were the gentle murmurs of the water against the sides of the boats. Though no one had cast a spell, it was one of the magical moments I had ever experienced.

"It's beautiful," I said softly, mostly to myself. Lily was too transfixed to hear. Severus, if he had heard at all, gave no indication. Half of the time, his eyes were only for Lily, rather than the castle.

Within minutes we had crossed the inky waters and ran aground on the pebbled shores across the lake. The giant heaved himself out and told us to do the same. He led us up a stone walkway and onto a tall stone bridge. A great oak door swung open to admit us into the enormous stone castle. From a distance, the castle had been astonishing. But now, up close, it was simply magnificent. My neck craned backward as I walked underneath the stone archway, trying to get a final glimpse of the tallest tower, reaching high into the night air, maybe hundreds of feet high. My hands tingled at the thought of ascending to such heights. Would the school even allow passage to places like that? Wouldn't there be some kind of waiver parents needed to sign in order for their children to risk falling to their deaths?

"Amber!" Lily whispered. "Come on, keep up!"

I hadn't realized I had been left behind by the group of first years. Heat rising to my face, I hurried after them, catching up to Lily. She giggled as we lagged behind the others. "You really need to keep your head out of the clouds, Amber. What will you do when we take our first classes?"

_Classes_. They would be back-breaking, mind-unraveling, complicated courses. I just knew it. Shivering, I thought of failing something, anything. I pictured shriveled and wizened men and women, with giant warts on their noses, black pointy hats wedged on their balding heads, cackling as I couldn't come up the right answer. I pictured myself hanging by my thumbs until I solved whatever problems they challenged me with.

_Why did I come here_? I gulped hard. _I should have gone to B.B. Seed's_. _I'm sure their schoolwork is easy. At least, it's manageable! _Hogwarts was a private institution, world-known, renowned in Great Britain and its surrounding countries. How was I ever going to fit in here, let alone make good grades, keep them, and surpass my fellow students?

My heart pounded hard as I began to panic. My legs felt like jelly, weakening with each step. Why hadn't I stayed home? Why had I traveled here, hundreds of miles from home, from everything I knew? The first fellow students I'd had the unpleasant experience of meeting had treated me like a joke. Wasn't I a joke for having the nerve to come here? To attend this prestigious school and expect _not _to be ridiculed?

Hot tears sprang to my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but two tears traitorously slipped down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away with the back of my sleeves. The last thing I wanted was for anyone else to see me cry, but my heart was pounding so hard and my head was spinning so fast I was sure I would either cry, vomit, or faint. Or maybe all three, in that exact order.

"Hey," Lily said quietly, a worried look on her heart-shaped face. "Are you okay?"

Tight-lipped, I gave a curt nod. If I said a word, I would lose it. Tears, words, and my breakfast.

To my complete shock, Lily's eyes were filled with tears too. Maybe they had just come. Or maybe she had been upset too before, but I hadn't noticed it.

"I miss my family." She confessed quietly, so that none of the others, who were several feet ahead of us, could hear. "And I'm scared of change, too."

I stared at her, floored. Had she read my mind? There was no other way possible for her to know how I felt at this moment.

Lily sniffled, wiping her own tears. "I have a sister. I understand more than you think."

Something hard and cold began to soften and uncurl inside of me. I slowly let down my hackles, put down my sword and shield. Lily Evans was not like my mother, who was constantly parrying and thrusting blows with her sword. Lily Evans was kind, sweet, and unnervingly understanding. She was a lot like Virginia, except braver. Incomparably braver.

Some of the weight rose like a heavy cloud off of my shoulders. I gave Lily a tiny smile. My stomach still clenched nervously. But the knot in my throat was gone. "Thank you." I said simply.

Lily returned the smile. "You're welcome."

"Lily!" Severus hissed. "Come on! We're almost at the Great Hall!"

We had already ascended several cases of stone stairs. I hadn't noticed before. But now we stood outside another set of doors, not as tall, but still just as imposing. My stomach cramped, and I swayed on my feet.

_Be brave. _I willed. _Be brave like Romulus was. Don't be afraid. Just do it._

Lily and I flanked Severus, who shot me an irritated look and moved to Lily's other side so that she was sandwiched between us. Lily didn't seem to mind Severus's foul mood.

Waiting in front of the door was a silver tabby, with silver circles around her eyes. "I think someone lost their cat," I muttered to Lily. She nodded in sympathy for the unfortunate owner.

"What's that ugly thing doing there?" A familiar male voice said loudly. I narrowed my eyes. It was one of those boys from earlier!

"I hate cats!" The other shouted, the dark-eyed one, and made a step towards the cat.

Without thinking, I began to move forward, ready to stop him, but to my complete shock, the cat transformed into a tall witch within a fraction of a second. Her black hair was tied back in a severe knot. Her facial features were sharp and defined, not softened by makeup. Elegant spectacles sat on the bridge of her narrow nose. Her green eyes blazed as she glared down at the faltering boy, who took a careful step back in line.

"Causing trouble before you're even Sorted." She said, her voice like a judge, passing down an edict. "You must be a Black."

The boy looked nervous, but slightly amused. "So what if I am?" He shot back boldly.

Several students gasped.

The witch's stern look focused on him, unfazed. "Tomfoolery and cruelty will not be tolerated here at Hogwarts, Mr. Black. Neither will insubordination. I highly suggest you change your behavior and mind your manners, or I assure you, you _will_ be punished and possibly expelled."

There was a murmur of students discussing this severe punishment. The boy sniggered mockingly.

"Five points will be taken from whatever House you are Sorted into, Mr. Black." The witch continued, her tone icy. Her eyes flashed. "This is a warning. Next time, I won't be so lenient." She looked away from the troublesome boy, her eyes roving over each student. "Behind these doors is the Great Hall. Here, you will be Sorted into your Houses by the Sorting Hat. We will read off your names from the roster in alphabetical order. Afterwards, we will continue onto the feast. You will be escorted to your rooms for the night and be given your schedules in the morning." She turned and approached the doors. "Form a single file line, students. No talking. Be polite. And above all, do not be disrespect to our Headmaster."

With that, she turned on her heel. The doors gave way and swung open, without a single touch.

Four long tables lined the cathedral-like room. Students, dressed in black robes, crowded on the benches lining the sides of the tables. The moment the heavy doors creaked open, every pair of eyes in the hall turned and focused on the twenty-odd new students. Color rose to my face under the scrutiny of so many. I forced myself not to bite my lip and to keep my head notched high. _Don't show fear. I bet they can smell fear. _

The witch who had scolded the Black boy swept to the front of the room. Our footsteps and the muffled whispers of nearly three hundred students were the only sound. The witch took her place by a single, vacant stool. Behind her was another long table, perpendicular to all the others. Seated there were several adults, who I assumed to be the staff members. Sitting directly behind the empty stool at a throne-like seat was an old man with a long white beard and half-moon spectacles on his crooked nose. Our eyes connected. His were astonishingly blue, electric and intense. He offered a small smile.

I looked away quickly, heart pounding. It was Albus Dumbledore himself. The greatest wizard in hundreds of years, possibly second only to Merlin himself. Did he know who I was? Did he care?

He hadn't even been the one to sign my acceptance letter. It had been Minerva McGonagall. I searched the long table of staff again, wondering which witch could be her.

The witch beside the empty stool unrolled parchment and held a weathered-looking hat in her other hand. It seemed like the entire hall of people was holding their breath in anticipation.

"Azadian, Angelina!" She called in a loud, clear voice. It echoed off the buttresses and arches of the vaulted ceiling.

A thin girl with huge gray eyes approached the stool. Even from this distance, I could see her shaking like a tuning fork. Quaking, she lowered herself in the chair, seeming to shrink in the folds of her robes.

"Poor thing." Lily whispered. I could only nod. I could strongly identify with how Angelina felt. My own legs threatened to give out, but for me, there would be no chair. Not yet, at least.

The witch placed the tattered brown hat on Angelina's head. The hat wiggled, the folds blinking back eye-like shadows. Angelina looked terrified.

After a moment, the hat roared, "Ravenclaw!"

The table to the right erupted in applause. Looking supremely relieved, Angelina staggered to the table and took a seat between two friendly looking girls.

At least she had gotten it over with.

"Black, Sirius!" The witch called, her voice cracking like a whip.

The rude boy enthusiastically plopped down in the stool. The hat rested on his dark hair for only a moment when it declared, "Gryffindor!"

The table across from the Ravenclaws burst into cheers and claps. I noticed the entire table closest to the wall giving Sirius a dirty look as the boy sauntered to the Gryffindor table.

"I wonder if they thought he'd be in their House," I muttered to Lily. She nodded, half-listening, focusing on the procession of students lining up for their turn to be sorted.

Three more students were sorted. Two were placed in Hufflepuff. A third was sorted into Slytherin. The next student called was Lily.

"That's me!" She whispered excitedly. Without any hesitation, she approached the stool with confidence, though her legs shook. _Adrenaline, _I thought, feeling only nausea and dread.

The witch dropped the hat onto Lily's dark red head, and barely a moment later, it cried, "Gryffindor!"

The table of Gryffindors cheered. Lily handed the hat back and hurried by. She gave Severus and I a sad little smile before she was gone. I watched her reach the table, saw Sirius move over to give her room. Lily gave him a disgusted look and promptly sat thirty feet from him. She looked back at me and Severus hopefully.

I felt a growing sense of dread as two more students were called and sorted, Slytherin and Hufflepuff respectively.

"Harkstone, Amber!" The professor called, and my heart stopped. When my pulse restarted, it hammered in my ears like a drumbeat. My legs turned to jelly. I couldn't move.

"Harkstone, Amber?" She repeated, frowning.

Severus nudged me hard, almost enough to be considered a shove. "Get up there, Harkstone!" He hissed. "It's your turn!"

Stumbling forward, my foot caught on the hem of my robe and I fell forward. I hit the stone floor hard, smacking my cheek against the cold rock. Several people gasped. A few teachers were on their feet.

Someone reached down a hand to help me. Face burning, I took it and allowed them to help me up. Ducking my head, I hurried to the stool. "Watch your step, Rocky!" A familiar voice sneered. Glancing back in shock, I came face to face with the green-eyed boy from the compartment. "Four eyes." I whispered as I went past.

I sat firmly on the stool, knowing my face was the color of a tomato, my right cheek aching. I knew it was going to bruise.

The professor holding the hat gave me a cursory look, and, deciding I was healthy enough to proceed, dropped the abused-looking hat on my head.

The hat was so big that it covered my eyes. I was staring at blackness. A raspy, old male voice in my head mused, _Clever, very clever. You are a bright witch, Amber. Brighter than many, especially for those your own age._

I caught my breath, not sure if I wanted this kind of intimacy. Could the hat read my thoughts? How deep could his penetrating mind go?

_There's courage too. Yes, and also, the burning desire to prove yourself. You have been ignored and neglected, and so you have taken solace in books. You have much knowledge in your possession, more than most seventh years. _

There was a brief pause. _You aren't afraid of a fight, but don't go looking for one. You would do as well in Gryffindor as you would in Ravenclaw. But where to put you?_

I was at a loss. The heat of embarrassment rose to my cheeks at the mental perusal. "What about Hufflepuff?" I thought weakly.

_Hufflepuff, eh? Yes, your family may have all been in Hufflepuff, but not you. No, you do not possess the same traits they do. You are wise, daring. You possess a spirit of sky or fire, not earth. Perhaps both sky and fire are yours…_

The hat was silent again, apparently thinking. I could feel more heat pouring into my face. None of the others had taken this long.

_Gryffindor would fuel your fire and teach you to harness its power. Yes, you could be a lioness among the house cats. Your confidence and bravery would be grown with Gryffindor. They would make you a warrior, a fearless enemy, someone to be reckoned with._

_But Ravenclaw would nurture your brilliant mind. They would add to your collection of wisdom and enhance your intellect. They would foster your creativity and set your trapped spirit free. They would sharpen your mind, not your sword. _

_But where to put you…?_

The silence stretched on. I could hear several people coughing, or muttering to themselves. When the whispers rose to a crescendo, the professor who had held the hat snapped, "Silence! You must not interrupt the Sorting!"

It was as still as a graveyard. I felt nervous sweat drip between my shoulder blades. My old fear of not being recognized as a witch returned full force. I had gotten an acceptance letter, a wand, and even entered the sacred grounds of Hogwarts. But was this the final barrier? The true test to decide my legitimacy as a witch?

The hat didn't speak.

The seconds ticked by. One minute. Two minutes. Three. Four.

Five.

Six.

Just before the seventh minute completed, the hat spoke again. _I have decided. _

My heart broke into a full sprint.

_Better be… _the hat rasped.

"Ravenclaw!"

Shocked silence met the hat's verbal announcement. It had been silent for nearly ten minutes. The table next to the Gryffindors clapped and cheered, and I rose from the stool. Instead of feeling relief, I felt even more uneasy. What had that long decision meant? That I was a counterfeit? That I didn't measure up to any House? Could a Sorting Hat lie to spare feelings?

I walked away from the stool and the hat and sat down heavily in an open space between two other Ravenclaws. I wanted to bury my face in my hands and cry again. I bit my lip and forced myself to hold on. _At least until after you leave the Hall._

The mean boy with the glasses, James Potter, as it turned out, was sorted in Gryffindor with his friend Sirius, and with Lily. Severus was placed in Slytherin. The roll call continued smoothly until each student had been placed. The remaining twenty students after me had been sorted in the same span of time it had taken the hat just to sort me, a mere ten minutes. Each sorting had taken thirty seconds or less. I felt even more unsure. Was the hat unsure of my status as a witch? Had it given its decision to save time and move on to the other students?

The witch with the Sorting Hat waved her wand and the old stool disappeared. She carried the hat away and sat down at the long table seated with staff members. The excited whispers and chatters of students dwindled to a hush when the wizened, long-bearded professor seated at the center of the table slowly rose.

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall, for overseeing the Sorting of our new students." He smiled broadly, nodding to each of the four tables. "Welcome to Hogwarts, first years. With our new incoming students, a new year has arrived as well. In a moment, we will begin our feast, which I'm sure you're all looking forward to as much as I am."

Several mumbles of agreement rippled around the Great Hall. My stomach was a sour ocean and lurched at the thought of any kind of food splashing into it.

Dumbledore spread his hands. "A reminder for our students before we begin our new year together: All third years wishing to travel to Hogsmeade will need written permission from their parents or guardians. First years are not allowed on broomsticks. There is absolutely no admittance into the Forbidden Forest. Hence, why it is forbidden." He chuckled.

"Finally, I ask that all of you maintain and uphold Hogwarts' morals and values. Respect one another as witches and wizards. Use your magic for good. Ask questions. Learn. And above all, remember that love is the greatest magic of all."

He sat down, waving his hands. "Let the feast begin!"

Instantly, mountains and platters of food that had not been there before appeared on every inch of the long wooden table. Spaghetti, burgers, pasta salads, fruit salad, finger sandwiches of every kind imaginable, pot roast, fresh vegetables, endless slices and sticks of buttered bread, steamed seafood, and arrays of dessert. Like piranhas at a bloody kill, each student reached for serving spoons or used their hands to grab finger foods and heaped portions on their enormous plates. Pitchers of juices, water, sparkling water, soft drinks, and iced tea were poured into glasses. The hall was deafening with the sounds of dining students and faculty.

I took one look at the food and felt my stomach rise into my throat. I was sure Mum had made some kind of soup for Virginia, a basic chicken and rice broth that would be easy on her weak stomach. I closed my eyes, longing for the peacefulness of Bellinghall and the serenity of the wilderness around our farm. I wanted to hear crickets chirping and smell the crisp night air and taste butternut squash soup and green tea. Here, my head ached from the din of clattering plates and utensils and from boisterous students. The overwhelming, heady scent of cooked meat filled my nostrils, cramping my stomach. And instead of being spread out on my chaise in the sunporch, I was wedged between two students who kept elbowing me as they ate their dinners.

My mouth trembled. I wanted nothing more than to leave this place where I did not belong. I wanted to go home.

But there was no way Mum would take me back. Not after the tuition they'd paid for me to attend. I wished I had thought to stash a book in my robes and read it now, so that I could transport myself away from the craziness of reality into a world of literature that someone else had written for me.

After several moments of this thinking, I realized several other Ravenclaws were shooting me quick looks, most of them directed at my empty plate. As sick as I felt, I knew I needed to eat something. I hadn't had anything since breakfast, which seemed lifetimes ago.

Hands trembling slightly, I spooned a small helping of fruit salad onto my plate, along with a tiny bowl of white rice that was already half-gone. I added a small slice of buttered bread and poured myself a glass of bubbling water. I ate quietly and kept my head down, unwilling to look up. But at least the curious onlookers had stopped watching me. Maybe they had just been worried about me and my lack of appetite. And now that I ate, it put their concerns at rest.

When my plate was finished, I cautiously reached for a chocolate chip cookie, the smallest one I could find. I nibbled it while gathering my courage and sliding rapid glances at my fellow Ravenclaws. All of them spoke to one another, seeming genuinely interested in what the others had to say.

I was glad to be left alone. I longed for Lily's company. At least we had a basic acquaintance. These others were total strangers.

_Oh, why didn't the Hat put me in Gryffindor? At least I had a somewhat friend there. _

The minutes ebbed by, until finally, plates were finished and students blinked sleepily, in a food-induced stupor. My stomach had barely tolerated the meager portion I had taken; even now, it cramped and groaned. I knew nervous vomiting wasn't out of the question later, though I preferred to avert the unpleasant experience.

Professor McGonagall rose regally from her chair next to Dumbledore. Her voice reverberated around the Hall, clear as glass. "Prefects will now show the first years of their Houses to their dormitories. Head Boys and Girls, please escort the remainder of your Houses in fifteen minutes."

A smattering of students rose from their tables. Legs tight from sitting, I stood and followed a blonde-haired woman with sparkling blues eyes, other Ravenclaws clustered around her like chicks under a hen. "This way, students." She said in a dreamy voice. "Follow me, please."

Several other new Ravenclaws trailed after her. A dark-haired girl that I recognized from earlier fell into step near me. I glanced at her and returned my gaze to the walls. Moving portraits hung on every inch of stone wall, their subjects waving or speaking among themselves. The willowy Prefect led us up a series of moving staircases, rising higher and higher above the ground floor.

"Hey," the dark-haired girl whispered, "I'm Angelina. You're Amber, aren't you?"

Surprised at her memory, I nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled. "You're the Hatstall, aren't you?"

I felt indignace at her remark. "What does that mean?" I muttered as we ascended.

"It means the Sorting Hat couldn't decide which House to sort you in. It only happens once every fifty years or so. What was the other House?"

I didn't know this girl. And if she was anything like Sirius Black or James Potter, I wanted nothing to do with her. "Hufflepuff." I lied, not wanting to give her any information about myself. "My whole family's been in Hufflepuff."

"That's interesting. My whole family's been in Ravenclaw. I guess it's in the genes. Houses tend to prefer family members, not outsiders." She promptly turned scarlet. "I didn't mean for that to sound bad. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

Her words rubbed salt in my wounds. What would Mum and Dad say when they found out I wasn't in their beloved Hufflepuff?

I shrugged instead, concealing my inner hurt. "Don't worry about it." I said quietly. Angelina was still burning with embarrassment; her cheeks were still rosy with it.

"Almost there!" The Prefect chirped cheerfully. But she continued to climb. Finally, at the last moving staircase, she disembarked and padded down a corridor, leaving us to follow. It had many windows, allowing the clear night sky to shine through. I looked down. We were very, very high up.

She began to walk up a narrow, spiraling set of stairs without railings. It hugged the wall, leaving only a few feet of space for walking. It looked harrowing for two-way traffic. Taking a deep breath, I brought up the rear of the small group and followed the others. Small windows cut into the sides of the tower allowed slits of moonlight to shine through. The air smelled fresher, cleaner. Much better than the hot, stuffy air of the Great Hall.

We climbed higher and higher. My palms began to sweat. I wished they had put in railings! It would have at least put my frazzled mind at ease.

The Prefect halted at a landing several stories above the bottom of the tower. The knocker, a small bronze raven statue, prompted, "In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink! What color were the stairs?"

The willowy blonde chortled. "There were no stairs! It's a one story house!"

"Very observant!" The knocker praised, and creaked open to admit her.

She tossed a friendly smile over her shoulder. "Each time you wish to enter the Common Room, you must answer a riddle. Otherwise, you'll have to wait for someone else to come along! Someone hopefully smarter, too!" She giggled. "Just kidding! But really… it won't let you in unless you answer correctly. Follow me, little ones!"

She swept into the room. The rest of us were left to follow.

The Common Room was wide, circular and adorned in blue and gold. Huge glass windows allowed moonlight to stream through, pouring in like skim milk. On one wall was a huge portrait of a beautiful, but somber, black-haired woman.

"That's our founder, Rowena Ravenclaw." The Prefect pointed out. "Oh, and my name is Pandora Wingspurt! I am not a Founder, but I do wish I could be." She stared out of the window dreamily.

I exchanged a look with Angelina.

"Well, you children must be exhausted!" She clapped two hands. "Go on and scoot off to bed. You can explore your new home more tomorrow. Girls, you're to the right. Boys, to the left. You each have your own towers, depending on your gender." She pulled a fat book off of a shelf crammed with novels and plopped down on a blue chaise. She began to read, pulling absently at her odd radish-shaped earrings.

It was good as a send –off as I had expected.

I followed Angelina and several other girls up a winding stairway into a smaller tower. It was a fraction of the size of the Common Room. More huge windows lined the sides of the circular room, but these windows were covered by soft white curtains that offered privacy and a translucent view of the mountains, lake and grounds of Hogwarts. Ringing the room in perfect spacing were four-poster beds, draped with sky blue canopies and curtains and the beds covered with silk eiderdowns. The sound of the wind faintly rushed against the edges of the windows.

We were literally above all of the other students at Hogwarts.

The other girls chatted amongst themselves, each smiling brightly and unpacking their luggage, which was placed neatly by the sides of the beds. Some of them pulled out pajamas and merrily made their way to the washroom, toothbrushes and combs in hand.

I watched them go, feeling the first pangs of homesickness wash over me. How could they all act so happy? Like this was sleepover camp or something? Well, it wasn't. It was a boarding school, flat out and simple_. _There was no reason to chortle and giggle like tittering chickens. I didn't want to share stories or play with hair. I just wanted to forget and relax.

I drew the curtains around my bed and stood in the center of the mattress. I changed quietly from my robes and my Muggle clothes underneath into a pair of fluffy blue pajama bottoms and a long-sleeved red flannel shirt. I lifted the front of the shirt to my nose and inhaled deeply. It smelled strongly of home. I knew it would only be a matter of time before it faded completely.

While the other girls continued to gabber, I picked up Miranda Goshawk's book on spells and skimmed through the pages. I read about charms and listened to the girls drone on for an hour before their voices faded and I only hear soft sighs and snores.

I kept reading until my eyes were bleary-eyed with sleep. When I was sure the others wouldn't wake up, I gently put my book away and rolled over, extinguishing my lamp. I curled up on my side and let the tears flow free for the first time since the train ride. _God, if you're there, come and rescue me. _

Silence met my plea.

It looked like I was stuck at Hogwarts for the next year.


	5. Friends and Enemies

It was strange the next morning when I woke up in a bed that was not my own. It was stranger to peer around the sky-blue curtains and see a cluster of eleven-year-old girls in the bathroom fixing their hair and dressing in their robes. They had blue-and-black striped ties on their necks. Resting on my nightstand was a tie, just like theirs. I let out a sigh. I had indeed arrived at Hogwarts and been Sorted into Ravenclaw House. Here was the physical proof. I was going to be marked as a Ravenclaw to the rest of my classmates.

"You'd better hurry up." Angelina remarked as she walked by, busily sweeping her long dark hair into a ponytail. "You're going to miss schedules and breakfast."

Stomach still sour, I grimaced as I slid from my bed and carefully made it. Food still wasn't that interesting to me.

I could feel Angelina's eyes on my back as I fixed my bedding, but she didn't say anything else. By the time I headed into the bathroom, the other girls were already leaving the dormitory. Cursing softly, I rushed to get ready. I stumbled out of the dorm with my robes halfway over my head, my wand tucked into my belt.

In the common room were the rest of the first years, swarming over a small table. I could hear the sound of rapidly rustling papers. "Now, remember!" A tiny male voice squeaked. "If you aren't sure about any of your prescribed courses, be sure to see Professor Carriage! She'll be able to help you evaluate your courses and their set level of difficulty, offer a tutor, or speak to you about any of your concerns!"

Frowning, I approached the table and the students surrounding it. Most of them were already on their way out the door. Sheaves of parchment lay littered on the table. **HARKSTONE, AMBER **caught my eye's attention. I plucked up the paper and scanned through it quickly.

For each day of the week, save for Sundays, I had seven courses. Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, History of Magic, Potions, and Transfiguration. I sighed. It looked like there would be no time for any free periods, periods where I could spend reading in the library.

"Something wrong, Miss Harkstone?" The male voice squeaked, and I looked down sharply to look into the eyes of a dark-eyed little man. I tried not to show the surprise that registered within me. He was shorter than any man I had ever seen. He was only about as tall as a four-year-old child.

He cleared his throat. "Miss Harkstone?"

I blinked rapidly. "Sorry, long night." I shook my head, trying to clear it. "I was just looking over my schedule."

The little man nodded. "Very well. I am Professor Flitwick, the Head of Ravenclaw House. Welcome to the home of the wise, Miss Harkstone. I was delighted when the Sorting Hat placed you here. I was a near Hatstall myself. Took that poor old hat three minutes to decide where to put me."

My heart pounded. So I wasn't the only one? "Which was your other House?" I said faintly, hardly daring to believe it.

Professor Flitwick grinned. "Gryffindor. Can you believe it? I could be in the same shoes as good old Professor McGongall!"

His smile faded like morning mist. His eyes darted around the room nervously. "Don't… don't mention that to her. Please."

"What?" I asked. "The part about not wanting to be in her House?"

He shook his head. "No, no. The part where I said she was old."

Faintly amused, I smiled back. "I won't."

Professor Flitwick nodded to himself, but still looked slightly haunted. "Very well, then… Good. Yes. You ought to hurry down to breakfast before your first class, Miss. You wouldn't want to go throughout your morning without a good meal."

Though the idea of food made my stomach rebel, I gave him a small smile. "Yes, Professor. Thank you." Leaving him and the common room behind, I hurried outside and pressed myself close to the wall as I descended the tight spiral staircase. My palms sweated the whole way down. Why had they removed the railings? Someone was going to fall.

Breathing a sigh of relief at the last step, I hurried down the corridors, trying my best to remember the way from last night. I fell into step behind three girls talking loudly to each other, clearly older and more confident than first years. At least they had experience and knew where they were going.

I went unnoticed all the way into the Great Hall. I was late for breakfast and most of the food was already eaten. Students lingered, greeting one another and enjoying their daily morning cup of gossip with their pumpkin juice. I poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice and selected a lone croissant and nibbled it while I read a discarded copy of the Daily Prophet.

The Ministry of Magic was in the process of trying to pass a new bill that would outlaw the usage of anything other than a wand as use for conducting magic. I thought back to the giant who had used his umbrella rather than a wand. What would he think of such a law? Would he obey it?

Another section of the paper, the opinions, contained an article written about the threat of You-Know-Who. _He Who Must Not Be Named bears a grudge against anyone he sees as unfit, even if his world view is completely demented and twisted. _The writer, Vincent Backe, wrote. _Though many believe him to be no threat, other than a madman, I know better. He is a terrorist, a man who is completely sane and aware of what he is doing. He is not crazy. He is pure evil. And we would all do well to prepare ourselves for the coming war._

The writer only had another two small paragraphs. It was a meager space for his writing. It seemed that the staff writers on the Daily Prophet weren't taking Mr. Backe too seriously. I glanced at the laughing, boisterous students of Hogwarts. They didn't seem too concerned either.

I wasn't sure what to believe. Was Mr. Backe paranoid, or did he have a point? I shivered. I hoped he was wrong, for safety's sake. But I had a feeling he wasn't completely off his hunch. I had heard Dad speaking quietly to Mum about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named sometimes at night when I overheard them in the sunporch. Dad said that he was a force to be reckoned with, a blip on the radar to be taken seriously. Mum had waved him off and accused him of a conspiracy theory.

I flipped the page to the advice section. _Dear Penelope_ dispensed two daily columns of wisdom. Today, a reader wrote about her trouble with pixies terrorizing her garden and chickens. _They're incorrigible. _She had complained. _They just won't stop. Please, I'm at my wits' and mental end. I need a solution for my poor farm!_

I sniggered at Penelope's response, which recommended hiring a specialist to rid her of the pesky pixies. "That's easy." I muttered to myself. "Just get a barn cat or two, and they'll chase off the pixies or eat them."

I set the paper down, finishing my croissant and glass of juice, and rose. Other students were on their feet as well, filing out the hall on their way to their first classes. Suddenly distressed, I hurried toward any adult I could find. I recognized Professor McGongall from yesterday and raced to her side.

Her sharp eyes zeroed in on me. "Problem, Miss Harkstone?"

I held up my parchment. "My first class is Potions, but I don't know where that is."

Sighing, she waved her arm. "You, yes, you! Come over here, please. Yes, thank you."

A bolt of familiarity struck me as the student approached. He was smiling as he halted at McGonagall's side. "What can I do for you, Professor?"

She gestured to me. "Locke, this is Amber Harkstone. She's a first year and needs guidance to her first class with Professor Slughorn. Would you mind escorting her? I can write you a note for your first class."

Sean Locke nodded. "No problem, Professor. I'm sure Professor Sprout won't miss me too long."

Professor McGonagall nodded stiffly and headed off briskly, leaving us alone.

My face burned as Sean offered his hand to shake. I took it and shook, obliged.

His eyes widened in pleasant surprise. "You've got a killer grip for such a small girl."

I shrugged off the initial offense. "I'm a girl. Some of us are naturally tough."

Sean laughed, falling into step beside me as we walked down the hallway. "We met yesterday. I'm not sure if you remember."

Oh, I remembered all right, but I didn't want him to know how I should have been a Hufflepuff. I tried not to think of how my parents, namely my mother, would react when they learned the news. "Yeah. It was a crazy night."

"I'm sure it was. It always is for first years. Here, let me take those for you." Before I could protest, Sean took my stack of books into his arms. Unused to such chivalry, I was at a loss for words.

"So at least I finally get to know your name. Amber, right?"

I nodded. "Harkstone."

"I got that too. It's nice to put a name to a face, you know?"

I nodded again. The less words I spoke, the better. I just wanted to get to class. "So, Potions…?"

Sean smiled. "Slughorn is a hoot, I'm telling you. He's a little zany but he's brilliant. Probably the finest potion maker of his time. I bet he could even make the elixir of life, if he put his mind to it."

We descended two flights of stairs. The air was noticeably colder and staler. There weren't any windows down here, either. I bit my lit, feeling the first strains of claustrophobia.

"He loves crystallized pineapple and oak mead." Sean added. "In case you ever need a favor or a fixed grade from him. I'm in the Slug Club. Maybe you will be, too."

"I'm not sure. I'm not much a math girl." I admitted.

"You seem like a smart girl. You must be, if you were Sorted into Ravenclaw." He swept into an open doorway, leaving me floored. He wasn't going to give me a quiet sendoff. No, he was going to come right into class with me.

Face burning, I kept my face trained on the stone ground and followed him. He stopped at the first row of tables and set my stack of heavy books down. "Well, here you are." He smiled again. "By the way, a spell to lighten the load is the feather-light charm. It's _leve pondus. _Try it sometime."

"I will." I promised, grateful for the helpful hint.

Sean beamed and turned to leave. A man's voice boomed at him. "Why, Mr. Locke! I knew you'd want to repeat my course, you silly boy."

I turned at the sound. A portly aging man with a large nose and larger waistline was grinning at Sean. Sean waved at him. "Good to see you, Professor."

"Have a good summer, I take it?" The professor asked. "How's Bernard doing?"

"Excellently, excellently, Professor. I won't take up more of your teaching time."

The professor chuckled. "I had better see you in my class later, Locke. Our first meeting's date and location will arrive for you shortly!"

Locke smiled at him, waved at him, and then me, and left.

"Amber!"

My head whipped around at the familiar voice. Lily was sitting beside me!

I felt a rush of relief. Finally, someone I knew. Someone I could sit with for hours and be comfortable with. I almost hugged her, but stopped myself. She would be too weirded out by that.

Her bright green eyes were full of mischief. "Your first day and you already have a boyfriend?"

Heat surged to my face like fire. "No! No, I hardly know him. He's in Hufflepuff, maybe he knows about how my family was, too, and that's why he's friendly. I don't know." I hid my burning face in my hands.

Laughing, Lily tugged my arm. "He's really cute, Amber. But a little too old. Maybe in a few years."

I shook my head. "Maybe never." I never wanted to settle down. I didn't want to be miserable like Mum and Dad were, slaves to their own marriage.

Lily flipped open her textbook. "This looks so interesting. Doesn't it, Amber?"

I leaned over, reading along with her. "It does. Look, it says you can even make luck."

"Or love potions." Lily said dreamily. When I shot her an irritated laugh, she burst out laughing.

"Don't worry, Amber. I'm not into boys yet. All of the boys our age are total jerks! Especially…"

She shook her head. "Never mind. I shouldn't speak of it."

Curious, I asked, "Who?"

Lily sighed. "Two boys who teased Sev on the train. I don't know their names. But I think I heard them at the Sorting."

I felt a rise of disgust. So it hadn't just been me. Those two were bullies.

"James Potter and Sirius Black." I spat. "I know them."

She turned her head, intrigued. "How so?"

I quickly told her about what they had done to me on the train when I had been stuck in their compartment. Rage filled her pretty face.

"How awful! Don't worry Amber. We'll learn charms for them. I'll bet there's a charm for making one mute."

"Or we could hex them." I mused. "A good dose of invisibility for their clothes. They won't know what hit them."

Lily laughed. "You're so wicked, Amber."

Professor Slughorn waved a hand, hushing the chattering students. "Welcome, first years! Potion-making is an ancient art that requires skill, careful attention, and dedication in order to succeed. Now, today, we won't start brewing anything. For the first week we'll start by doing some reading and have a small quiz for review. In two weeks we will delve into our first potion, an antidote for a common poison. As for now, please open your textbooks to page four."

Lily and I shared a copy of the book for the next hour while Professor Slughorn asked for volunteers to read different paragraphs. So far, the class hadn't been intimidating at all. Only introductory.

When he dismissed us for the day, I left feeling better than I had in a week. My next two classes went just as well. As I walked to lunch, I wondered why had I become so anxious about my classes. The teachers didn't seem to be hellbent on sending me to the dungeons for not knowing the answer. Contrary, they seemed to genuinely care about their students and wanted them to succeed. Already, I felt lighter.

Lily and I cheated the system, and I had lunch with her at the Gryffindor table. I drew several curious looks and less irritated ones.

"They know I'm a Ravenclaw." I said as I ate a spoonful of fruit parfait. "It's the tie."

Lily shook her head. "You're welcome here. We're all Hogwarts students."

I could feel someone watching me as I ate. I turned, scanning the faces of students, trying to make eye contact with anyone. But I didn't. Uneasy, I returned to eating my light lunch. The unseen gaze was burning holes into my back.

"I think someone's watching me." I muttered. "I hope it's not a teacher."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, calm down, Amber. If you need to, just tell them you were over here helping me with a problem."

"For what?" I asked, crunching my granola loudly.

Lily shrugged. "Say you were helping me memorize the most important ingredients in potion making."

"Which are…?" I trailed off as two boys approached and rudely pushed between us. One boy sandwiched himself between me and Amber. The other, who didn't wear glasses, leaned against the edge of the table.

"Thought we'd drop by." The boy with the glasses, James, said. "And remind you of a few things."

"Oh, joy." Lily said dryly.

I rolled my eyes. "Go away, Four Eyes."

"Four Eyes?" James said mockingly. Sirius snickered. "That's harsh for a Ravenclaw. I thought you were supposed to be nice."

"Hey, James." Sirius said suddenly. "I just remembered something."

"Your brain?" Lily snipped, earning a chuckle from me.

"I think I remember too, Sirius." James drawled. He fixed his cold hazel eyes on me. "I think it was policy about tables. Something we learned in History of Magic today."

"I remember too, James." Sirius said. "It was about how separate tables are supposed to _stay _at their tables. Not cross to others."

"No fraternizing allowed." James reaffirmed.

"Wow, that's a big word." I mocked. "You must have memorized a dictionary. Can you _spell _fraternizing?"

James shot Sirius a look. "Of course I can. I'm not stupid."

"Really?" Lily said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because you sure look it."

"Ouch!" Sirius grinned. James looked unruffled.

I could feel anger bubbling up, just below the surface. My patience with the duo was fast ending. "Go back to your end of the table. We aren't bothering anyone."

"You're bothering Miranda Goshawk." James rebuked. "_And _the laws of Hogwarts. Didn't the Headmaster _just _talk about respecting the morals and values of his school last night?"

"Didn't your mother ever tell you to mind your own business?" I snapped.

"Watch out James, she might cry again." Sirius joked.

Hurt and embarrassment threatened to overshadow the anger. _Stay angry. Stay in control. _"I have just as much right to be at this table as you both do."

The two boys exchanged a look that said _She's nuts. _"Really. Enlighten us." Said James.

"Amber, we can sit at your table. I'm sure the other Ravenclaws wouldn't mind me."

I shook my head, ignoring her. "Don't you two dunderheads wonder why the Sorting Hat took so long with me last night?"

"Because it wanted to send you home to wherever hick town you came from?" James offered. Sirius slapped his knee.

I bit back tears. "Because the Hat couldn't decide whether or not to put me in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor." I let the information sink in before I went on. "I could have been a Gryffindor just as easily as a Ravenclaw. So, please shut up, go away, and let me finish my breakfast in peace."

Lily looked thrilled. James and Sirius looked dubious. "That's such a lie." James bumbled. "Sorting Hats don't stall."

"Not for everyone." I replied airily. All the bravado was being directed from what I had learned from Angelina last night. "They do every fifty years or so."

"Well, you're still a two-sided moron." Sirius said. "I guess this doubles your freakishness."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Lily exclaimed.

"Stupid, I'm telling you." I sipped my tea, hoping my sheen of tears didn't show. "Probably couldn't spell 'orange' if his life depended on it."

"I can, too!" James snapped.

"Then prove it."

James looked like a deer in headlights. "I don't have to prove anything to you, _Rocky._ What kind of name is Amber Harkstone, anyway?"

"A good one, you horrible toerag!" Lily fired back. "Leave us alone or I'm getting Professor McGonagall."

"She can't do anything to us." Sirius said loftily, but he looked a little uncertain.

Lily rose. "Professor-"

"Alright, fine!" James said exasperatedly. "Enjoy your breakfast, traitor." He brushed against me roughly and left with Sirius in tow.

Lily glared after them, slowly sitting down, an angry cobra relaxing. "I hate those two. They're complete _arses_."

I blinked hard. Two tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Amber?" Lily said, her voice suddenly concerned. "Amber, are you alright?"

I passed a shaking hand over my face, the bravado replaced by sorrow and confusion. "I'm fine." I lied, though inside I was shaking with rage and hurt. What had I ever done to them? "I'm just sick of their attitudes."

"Me too." Lily put a comforting arm on my shoulder. "They were awful to Sev, too. But that was much worse." She looked troubled. "Maybe we _should _tell Professor McGonagall. She can give them detention or something."

I sighed wearily. "I don't think that would do anything." Besides, I didn't want to become a teacher's pet _and _a traitor on my first day. "It's fine, Lily. I'll learn that hex."

"Me too." She said determinedly. "And I'll learn how to transfigure into Professor McGonagall to scare their robes off."

I smiled through my inner pain. "And I'll become a dragon animagi."

Lily looked confused. "A what?"

"Never mind." I drained the rest of my tea, now lukewarm, and set the empty cup back on its saucer. "Why doesn't Severus sit here too?"

At the mention of his name, Lily looked sad. "Well… He's a Slytherin. He says that Gryffindors and Slytherins are sworn enemies."

"Rivals, more like it." I didn't want to think about any more fighting. It was too exhausting.

Lily looked worried. "Are you sure you're alright, Amber?"

So she wasn't fooled by my guise. Not completely. I gave her a bigger smile. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I have two sisters at home. I'm used to cruel words."

Lily nodded. "I get that part completely. Tuney is good practice for those two."

Lily and I shared another class, Defense Against the Dark Arts, as well as Potions. But for my final class, Transfiguration, I was stuck in the lovely company of Sirius Black and James Potter.

When I saw them as I entered the room, I pretended they had never entered my field of vision and sat as far from them as possible. Which was right at the front desk. I could hear them talking quietly in the back. After two minutes of this, I saw something fly overhead and strike flesh. There was an audible moan of pain.

The entire class stared at the front of the room. A silver cat, perched on the desk, had disappeared. But in its place was Professor McGonagall. She was staring at the back of the room the way a lioness would watch a gazelle.

"You and I are going to have a very long year together, Mr. Black." She said icily. The entire room was silent. "Would you care for another eraser thrown at your head, or a Saturday's detention for your next interruption?"

I kept my back turned to them, but I could hear Sirius grumbling. "Sorry."

"Sorry, _ma'am._" Professor McGongall corrected.

There was a beat of rebellious silence. "Sorry, _ma'am_." Sirius conceded. James echoed him.

She nodded once, curtly. "I expect you to pay attention, boys, or I shall separate you."

I felt a clench of fear in my stomach. _Please, no. _I wanted to be as far from them as possible.

Professor McGonagall gave them one final glare, and then began her lesson. She was the only professor who assigned homework for the first night of class, earning groans from everyone but me. I welcomed the chance to delve into literature.

Transfiguration was my last class of the day. I skipped dinner and instead went back to the Ravenclaw tower, where I knew I would have a quiet place to study. The library appealed to me too, but I had a feeling that the librarian would ask why I wasn't at dinner.

The eagle knocker said, "What is light as a feather, but even the world's strongest Muggle can't hold for more than a minute?"

I paused. An elephant? A crisis?

I exhaled, and inspiration struck. "His breath!"

"Very good. Quick, too." The door swung open.

The circular common room was deserted. Outside, the sun was hanging low in the sky, casting warm light over the grounds of Hogwarts and the surrounding wilderness. Two blackbirds glided between towers. I smiled, watching the aerial display.

When I had drunk in my fill of the beautiful view, I sat down on a plushy armchair and opened my textbook to _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration. _Professor McGonagall had only assigned the first two chapters, but as I absorbed the material, I lost track of time. It was another two hours before I realized I was not alone in the common room.

The sun had fully set by then, and blackness covered the windows. It must have clouded up. A fire had crackled to life in the hearth without me even noticing. The lamps were lit. And someone stood by the windows, back facing me.

Unease made me carefully close my book. I was sure it was a student, but a chill spread from my neck to the base of my spine. I remembered that I had my wand in my pocket. I slowly placed my hand over it, fingers curling around the hard wood. I coughed quietly, hoping to draw the person's attention.

It worked.

The figure turned slowly, like a door creaking open on broken hinges. Cold fear spread from my stomach into my feet. I was alone with this person, this stranger.

It was a teenage boy with a stubbled black hair. I didn't see a colored tie on his neck indicating his House. He stared at me with cold, lifeless eyes. He did not blink.

I stared back, frozen. The hairs on the back of my neck rose. _Run, Amber. _

But my legs were dead weights beneath me. I could only stare at him.

The student blinked, after a minute of unbearable silence. The entire room went pitch black. Panic threatened to overcome me, but a second later, the light was back. But the student was gone.

Shaken, I sprang to my shaky feet, wand drawn out. I searched the common room for him carefully, thoroughly, but could not find a single trace. I wondered if I had fallen asleep and had a brief nightmare.

Footsteps echoed up the steps, and I pointed my wand at the door, terrified, but a gaggle of Ravenclaws entered, talking merrily and completely unaware of my plight. I forced my hand down, but didn't stow my wand.

"Relax, first year," an older Ravenclaw boy said, "It's just us. Only Ravenclaws can get in. Others are too stupid."

I nodded silently. I was suddenly very afraid of my bedroom. Would the man be hiding there? Was he waiting for me?

I waited for several other first years to loudly enter the bedrooms before I dared set foot inside. Something inside of me was quaking; the cold fear had spread to my heart. Hand gripping my wand beneath my robes, I crept up the spiral staircase into the dorms. Three girls were in the midst of preparing for bed. There was no sign of an intruder.

One girl looked over. "Something wrong, Amber?"

I stared at her, then the curtains, hanging over every bed, every window. After a pause, I said quietly, "Nothing. Sorry."

She smiled, friendly. "Maybe you should try and sleep. You don't look so good."

My heart constricted at her words. "I'm fine." I lied, slinking off to the bathroom. It too was empty.

I shut the door to one of the stalls and sat on the toilet lid, burying my face in my hands. I shook hard with suppressed sobs. Was I losing my mind? Had there really been a strange man in the common room? Or had it been a mean trick? Maybe it was a ghost. Or maybe it was a senior student hazing me.

But a small voice inside told me that it _had _been someone. Someone who had meant to harm me.

So why hadn't they?

Shuddering, I rose from the toilet and went back into the common room. Several students remained, most talking and joking by the fireplace. Everyone had textbooks open. Trembling, I lowered myself into an armchair, eyes scanning the round room again and again, wondering if the figure would reappear.

Fifteen minutes went by, and then another. Finally, after forty-five minutes, I gave up. Returning to my room, I quietly picked up my book on Charms and tried reading. I could only pay attention for a few moments before the fear was back, bringing with it the feeling of being watched. I drew the blue curtains around my bed and held my wand tightly. I flipped through the pages and caught the word 'protective charms'.

_**Protego**__: The basic spell cast for protection. It can be used to deflect, reflect, or block attacks. Protego can even be used as an indefinite shield, with the charm __**Protego Maxima. **__This charm requires moderate difficulty. Casters should be aware of backfiring if spell is not properly cast._

"That's reassuring." I muttered, but the persistent feeling of being stalked wouldn't ease. In fact, as more girls drifted into sleep, it plagued me more. I couldn't help but feel as if whatever this was, it was waiting for me to be alone and unprotected again.

Maybe this time it wouldn't be so merciful.

Swallowing hard, I waved my wand in a small circle and made a slash down the middle, the same as the diagram showed. "_Protego._" I whispered. A tiny blue screen flickered and died before my eyes.

I closed my eyes briefly and concentrated on creating a large shield around my bed. "_Protego._" I whispered again. The iridescent blue light expanded, held for a moment longer, and then fizzled out.

Determination made me want to continue. Part of me knew I could call for help from a professor, but what if it turned out it was nothing more than a prank, or worse, my own imagination? How awful would that look, on my first real day at Hogwarts, being sent to St. Mungo's for a psychotic episode?

Exhaling deeply, I repeated the spell ten more times. Each time, it became more pronounced. "_Protego!" _I whispered fiercely, and the blue completely encased my bed like a blue dome. The light faded slowly.

Cursing under my breath, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, ready to prepare for bed, when I hit a wall. Strange. I had thought the wall was on the other side of the bed.

I tried again. I blinked, realizing that there was _no _wall. It was just air. But the air was completely solid.

My heart began to beat fast. I reached out a hand cautiously against the air. Slowly, my hand pressed against an invisible but unmoving force. I pushed with all my might, but the wall wouldn't give.

The fear melted away like ice in summer. Relief and triumph made me want to weep. I had cast my first protection charm, and it was holding!

_At least for now._

Well, at least I would be able to fall asleep. Opening the textbook, I read more about charms and spells. My eyes grew heavy and tired from their constant movement. Yawning, I closed the book quietly and tested the invisible wall again. It held.

Smiling to myself, I slipped underneath the covers and tucked them under my chin. _See? _I thought to myself sleepily. _You made a big scare out of nothing. It was either a sixth year hazing me, or just a day nightmare. I need to sleep more._

I left the lamp on. Just before I drifted off to sleep, I thought I caught the faint scent of wet dog.

* * *

Footsteps padded softly across the floor of the first year girls' dormitory. The room was dimly lit from one side, partially blocked by pale blue drapes. It cast a soft, warm glow across the floor. All of the girls were asleep in their beds. Even the Harkstone girl.

From where he stood, he could watch her eyelids flutter in her sleep. She didn't seem too troubled. Nervous, maybe, but not terrified. She would have done well in Gryffindor with her bravery, but the Sorting Hat had made the right choice. That girl never was without a book. Half of the time, she was reading one.

The figure approached the bed, his wand held loosely in his left hand. He came within inches of the bedside, close enough to reach out and touch her…

His hand abruptly stopped. There was an invisible force blocking him from her.

Grimacing in an ugly half-smile, the man gave a small laugh that came out as a puff of air. The girl was very talented, there was no doubt about that. She had cast her own protective charms, had she? And on her first day. Not bad. Not bad at all for a Harkstone.

The man stood still, his gaze trained on the sleeping girl. It wasn't until another eleven-year-old rose sleepily for the bathroom that he disappeared, gone as quickly as a ghost.

The air still smelled faintly of dirt and sweat. And even more faintly: Blood.


	6. Charmed

The following weeks of September were filled with hours spent in classrooms and textbooks. All of the teachers followed Professor McGonagall's example and began assigning daily homework. Most of them required light reading, but I found myself reading ahead each day, and near the end of the month, I had finished each textbook, front to back. Drunk on my new knowledge, I was the first to unfailingly raise my hand in class to give the answers. At first it stunned and impressed my teachers and classmates, but it was short-lived as students began calling me a 'show-off' and 'teacher's pet'. Even my professors gently asked me to 'give the other students a chance to speak'. Half of the time, the students' answers were incorrect, to which I would quickly supply the right answer. More than half of the time, this drew rolled eyes or groans of annoyance. I ignored them all. I wanted to impress my teachers and do my absolute best at Hogwarts. Mother would accept nothing less than perfection.

One afternoon while Lily and I were in the library doing homework in the beginning of October, she cleared her throat loudly. I glanced up from my copy of _Advanced Charms for Starters_, placing my finger on the opened spine so that I wouldn't lose my place. "Hmm?"

Lily looked exasperated. "Amber, this is getting a little out of hand."

"What is?" I asked innocently, my gaze already drawn back to the alluring pages of the book.

Lily rolled her eyes. "That! What you're doing right now!"

"Doing what?" I said vaguely, lost in the paragraph about the Color-Changing Charm. I wondered how my honey-blonde hair would look in cotton-candy pink instead.

"_That_!" Lily cried, tugging the book away. I scrabbled for it, but she held it out of arm's reach. "Give it back, Lily. I was just studying."

She shook her head. "You weren't studying. You're doing more entertainment reading. You have an addiction to books, Amber. I don't think it's healthy."

I felt the first twinges of annoyance. "Come on, Lily. Give it back, please."

Her green eyes sparked. "I'm worried about you, Amber."

Rolling my eyes, I reached for the book againb. Lily pushed it farther away.

"Come on, enough. I'm not done with this chapter."

Lily leaned closer, so that I could see the darker green flecks of color in her leafy eyes. She didn't look angry. She looked concerned and determined. "Amber, just talk to me for a minute. You hardly talk at all."

A flush worked its way into my face. I could feel the heat on my skin. "I don't have much to say." But I did. I _wanted_ to talk to people. But they would shoot me down for my ideas. They would laugh at me, call me names, or hassle me. Just like James and Sirius did. They wouldn't take what I had to say for truth or meaning. They would just walk away. _Talk is cheap, Amber. _Mum had said when I was a little girl telling her about my first day in the second grade at the local Muggle school. I had never forgotten it.

I tried looking away from her burning gaze, but it followed me. Lily had me pinned with her gaze like a spider with a fly in its web. I couldn't escape. Not until she had gotten what she wanted.

"Amber, I get that you're shy. Or that you just don't want to talk. But I don't think it's just that. I _know _you want to interact."

"I like books." I said defensively. "I like reading."

"Yes, I get that." Lily validated. "But you're not hearing me. You _hide _in your books. This last month, have you ever even been to any of the extracurriculars? Professor Flitwick mentioned he's looking for more choir singers."

Did she really need to talk to me about this? I just wanted to read. "I can't sing."

"Well, you should at least try. Let him be the judge of that. Or, you could try out for Quidditch."

I made a face. "They never let first years onto the team."

Lily let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, but how do you know unless you try? If you're good, they'll bend the rules." She gave me a meaningful look. "At least try something, Amber. Please. It's not good that all you do is read and go to class. There's more to Hogwarts than that."

Was there? It was a boarding school, not summer camp. I nodded once and reached for my book again. "Can I finish reading please?"

"Only if you promise to try at least _one _extracurricular. It's not good for you to be so disconnected."

Lily was dead set on this. I sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'll try out for something. But I probably won't get in."

Lily smiled widely, triumphant. "Great! I want to hear about it, Amber. I mean it."

I knew Lily would hound me until I did what she asked, so the next day I made my way down to Professor Flitwick's classroom. He was busily scrawling down notes with a quill on a roll of parchment. He looked up as I approached his desk. "Miss Harkstone! What brings you to my office?" He seemed open, friendly.

I offered him a small smile. "I was hoping I could try out for the school choir."

Professor Flitwick's smile broadened. "Of course, of course! We're always looking for more singers in our choir. We meet Mondays, Thursdays, and Sundays at five p.m. in the Great Hall. We have dinner right after. Practice runs for one hour."

"What about auditions?"

Professor Flitwick smiled. "Well, those were two weeks ago."

I felt a small stab of disappointment, like a pinprick in a balloon. I deflated slightly. "Oh." Despite my aversion to extracurriculars, I was discouraged. A tiny part of me was looking forward to being a part of a group outside of class.

Professor Flitwick nodded. "Yes, you missed the deadline. But we'll never turn down new members. In fact, you can audition right now."

I felt heat creep into my face. "What?"

Professor Flitwick set down his quill. He smiled at me expectantly. "You can audition here. I am the conductor, after all!" He gave a light titter.

My heart was sprinting, as if it could escape this scrutinizing performance. Already, my palms were slick with nervous sweat. "I don't know."

Professor Flitwick shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Miss Harkstone. Just sing."

But my throat was so tight that my voice felt like a violin string, pulled taut enough to snap. "I don't think I can sing right now." I said in a quavering voice.

Professor Flitwick nodded again, looking sympathetic. "It's alright, dear. Maybe you can try again when you feel ready."

A part of me protested at cowing at a challenge. I wanted to look my fear dead in the eyes and say _No! I will do this. You can't win!_ Taking a deep breath, I sat down at a desk near the door while Professor Flitwick bowed his head and went back to composing his notes for his next lesson. I listened to the sound of his quill scratching into the soft, oily surface of the parchment. The grandfather clock behind him swung back and forth, the pendulum clucking with each swing. It kept time like a metronome.

I opened my mouth and softly began to sing.

_Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;_

_Where there is hatred, let me sow love;_

_Where there is injury, pardon;_

_Where there is discord, harmony;_

_Where there is error, truth;_

_Where there is doubt, faith;_

_Where there is despair, hope;_

_Where there is darkness, light;_

_And where there is sadness, joy._

_O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek_

_To be consoled as to console;_

_To be understood as to understand;_

_To be loved as to love._

_For it is in giving that we receive;_

_It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;_

_And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen…_

My voice shook at the beginning, but as I finished each line, my timbre eased and steadied. I finished quietly on the last word, drawing it out with a vibrato. I kept my head down, studying my black robes and their many folds. I couldn't dare to meet Professor Flitwick's eyes. After all, how many students had the gall to use a song from church?

The room had quieted. The grandfather clock still ticked, but the scrabbling quill pen had stopped. After several beats of silence, I rose to my feet and started for the door. At least I had tried.

"Practice is at five on those days, Miss Harkstone." Professor Flitwick said from behind me. "Don't be late."

I turned and faced the Head of my House. He looked at me curiously. I felt as if I was glowing at his approval.

"I'll see you at five tomorrow night." I promised, and swept out of the door.

Later that evening in the Great Hall, Lily joined me at the Ravenclaw table, sandwiched between me and Angelina Azadian, who was kind enough to stand up two weeks prior for her when one Ravenclaw reminded us of the no-shared-tables rule. "We're creating alliances between the Houses," Angelina had remarked, "and that gives us two legs up on Slytherin for the House Cup."

Slytherin had won the House Cup for the past two years. Hufflepuff had won three years running before that. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were shamefully behind.

"We'll dethrone them." Lily promised. "Unless Ravenclaw can come up with enough points."

Ravenclaw was in third place this year. Gryffindor was last, thanks to James and Sirius's antics constantly costing them points.

"Did you try?" Lily asked me over a plate of salad. She didn't have to specify.

"I did." I said as I swallowed a spoonful of rice and mushroom soup.

"Did what?" Angelina questioned as she poured herself a glass of icy water.

I shook my head self-deprecatingly. "I tried out for the school choir."

Angelina's eyes lit up. "I didn't know you could sing!"

I shrugged. "I can't. Not that well."

"Well enough!" Lily jumped in. "You're an amazing singer, Amber. I've overheard you."

Heat rushed to my face. "You have?" I had never sung in front of her. Not that I knew of.

She was grinning. "Of course. You sing when you study sometimes. Or when you read. You just never notice it."

"Brilliant." I moaned, hiding my face in my arms.

"I want to hear you!" Angelina encouraged. She was on the verge of transitioning from acquaintance to friend.

I shook my head hard, rubbing my forehead against the sleeves of my robes. "Not ever."

"You will at concerts, Angelina." Lily reminded her. "Amber is very humble."

"I'm not that either." I mumbled from my arms. "I'm just…"

"The top of our class?" Lily offered.

"Noooo…"

"Brilliant?"

"Noooo…"

"Talented?"

"I'm just… Amber."

Lily and Angelina laughed.

I raised my head and finished my soup. There was the sound of wings fluttering overhead, and I looked up just in time to see a white envelope drop onto Lily's empty plate.

Her eyes brightened as she tore open the letter, her eyes scanning the lines eagerly. Her smile faded as she reached the bottom.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

She set the letter down, a sad look on her pretty face. "Petunia still hasn't written to me. It's just my parents." At my own dismal expression, she looked mortified. "I'm so sorry, Amber. I didn't mean it that way."

The tide of sorrow rose up in me again, extinguishing my joy over choir acceptance. "It's fine, Lily. It isn't a big deal." My own parents hadn't written me a single letter since my arrival at Hogwarts. And I had been here for over a month.

Lily looked melancholy. "It isn't fair that they don't write you, Amber."

"They're busy." I said, making excuses for them. Dad really was busy with the Ministry, and I knew Mum would be devoting a hundred and fifty percent of herself to Virginia. Of course, that meant no time to write a quick letter to her firstborn.

"Wait." Angelina piped up. "That's your owl, Amber. He's coming this way."

I frowned. "What?" She must be mistaken. Soren never flew down for me. He never had anything to give me.

But Angelina was right. A white square was clenched in the black beak of my barn owl. He flared his snowy wings and landed on the table, knocking over an empty glass and steadying himself with his brown flecked tail.

"Still working on flying, I see." I remarked to the young owl, who nipped my finger playfully as I pulled the letter free from his mouth.

"Is it from your parents?" Lily asked, looking anxious.

I shared her feeling of apprehension. My hands shook slightly as I opened the top of the envelope. "I think so." I pulled out a small folded sheet of paper. Written inside was a messy child's scrawl.

**_Dear Amber,_**

**_Hi! It's Naomi. Mum said that you were probably too busy for letters, but I wanted to write you one anyway. Romulus chased off two coyotes so Dad put up more spells. We are getting another cat soon because we have lots of pixies and they are annoying. I really like my P.E. class at school. I painted a picture of our family and I want you to see it when you come home for Christmas. Mum said you might have too much studying to do for Christmas and will probably have to stay at Hogwarts. I hope she is wrong. I want you to come home._**

**_Virginia says hi. She isn't feeling well. Mum moved her bed into her room and moved Dad into Virginia's old room so she could take care of her. Mummy didn't want me to tell you this but I am telling you anyway. I think it's weird but Virginia coughs a lot and can't sleep unless Mummy is there and gives her special medicine._**

**_I hope we don't have to send her away to a hospital._**

**_Please write back soon. I miss you so much. I am going to cry now. Bye._**

**_Naomi Heather Harkstone_**

**_P.S. I love you_**

I let the letter flutter back onto the table. Soren was helping himself to a leftover bowl of rice.

"What's the matter?" Lily said quietly. "You look sad."

I blinked hard, trying to force the tears back. I hadn't heard from home in a month. Not from my parents. But from my little six-year-old sister, who was smart enough to spell every word correctly but who didn't know why things were the way they were. Especially with Virginia.

I closed my eyes, feeling sick. So Mum was finally considering putting my younger sister into a hospital. I wondered if Mum would go with her and leave Naomi alone.

"Amber?" Lily asked. "Are you alright?"

I bit my lip hard. "I'm fine, Lily." I lied. I was crushed by a wave of homesickness so strong that it nearly suffocated me. _Get a grip, Amber. It was just a letter. Not a death sentence. Everything is okay._

It had been so easy to pretend my life was idyll when I was here, learning and reading. I hadn't had to consider Virginia's failing health or my family's dangerous alienation from one another. And I hadn't heard so much as a word from Mum.

Lily reached for my arm. "I'm sorry, Amber."

"I'm-"

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

The female voice split the air like thunder; the entire Great Hall fell silent as a graveyard. A moment later, a fork clattered to a plate. I whirled around, zeroing in on the perpetrator: the lanky boy with dark hair and dark eyes. The bane of Professor McGonagall. Sirius Black.

But this time it wasn't Professor McGonagall who was giving him a good tongue-lashing. This voice was female but unfamiliar. In Sirius's hand was a blood-red letter, which yanked itself free from his grip and curved into a mouth with huge red lips and gleaming white teeth made out of the paper bent into a snarl. For once, Sirius actually looked scared.

"HOW DARE YOU BETRAY OUR FAMILY LIKE THIS?! YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME UPON MY FAMILY FOR BEING SORTED INTO A HOUSE OTHER THAN SLYTHERIN. A GRYFFINDOR, IN THE LINE OF PHINEAS NIGELLUS BLACK? HE IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE AT YOUR DISLOYALTY! IF YOU THINK CHOOSING BRAWNS OVER BRAINS IS GOING TO GET YOU ANYWHERE IN LIFE, YOU ARE HORRIBLY MISTAKEN, SIRIUS BLACK! YOUR FATHER HAS THE MIND TO PUT YOU ON THE TRAIN STRAIGHT HOME! I HAVE NOT DECIDED, BUT YOU WILL KNOW WHEN I DO!

The letter spat ink in his face, and then ripped itself to shreds on his plate of half-eaten dinner. He exchanged a look with James Potter, who sat to his right.

They both burst into laughter.

Two boys flanking them did as well. Gradually, the rest of the Great Hall returned to its normal noise and atmosphere, though several students shot Sirius Black curious looks. Professor McGonagall's gaze did not leave Sirius Black from the moment he received his shrieking letter.

"What was _that?" _Angelina exclaimed as James playfully threw shreds of paper at Sirius.

"That was a Howler." I said gravely. "They're recorded messages. Usually when people are too angry for just writing words. It gets the point across." I wrinkled my nose at Sirius's jolly demeanor. "Usually."

"You read too much." Lily joked, plucking a strawberry from a plate. Soren helped himself to them.

"At least I'll ace my tests." I countered.

"If you're not careful, I'll have to consider that a challenge." Lily teased, eyes gleaming.

Angelina nodded toward the laughing boys, who were enjoying their breakfast after the loud interruption by Sirius's supposed mother. A boy beside them with light brown hair and green eyes was watching us. He looked away quickly when the three of us turned to look back at him.

"Who's that?" Lily wondered.

"Hopefully, nothing like those two." I muttered darkly as Sirius and James chugged sparkling water and had a belching contest. They both received black looks from McGonagall from the other side of the room.

"Disgusting." Angelina added.

Rolling my eyes at the display, I picked up my book bag and rose to my feet. "I'll see you later, guys." I said.

Lily followed me. "I'll come with you. I'm done with breakfast anyway."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw James Potter watch Lily. I frowned. "I think James has a crush on you."

Lily made a gagging sound. "He's revolting. I'd rather have Frank Longbottom have a crush on me."

Frank, who had just walked by, turned beet red and hurried by. Lily looked horrified.

"I hope he didn't take that seriously!" She squeaked, her face turning the same shade of red as her hair.

I laughed as we left the Great Hall. "I doubt it. I think he fancies Alice Jenkins."

A greasy-haired boy fell into step beside us. Severus's dark eyes hardened when I met his gaze.

"Hello, Severus." I said politely.

He mumbled a greeting.

Lily brightened. "Hey, Sev! Why don't you come to class with us?"

Severus shrugged. He shared History of Magic class with Lily. "I suppose so."

Lily filled Severus in on her week while I parted ways to walk to Room 2E. The Charms class was taught by Professor Flitwick, who looked pleased to see me as I entered. Clearly, he was still happy to have added another member to his choir.

I took my usual seat in the front of the class, opening my textbook in preparation for the lesson. Professor Flitwick waited until the rest of the class had taken their seats, and then sat on the cushion on his high-backed chair, facing the three rows of tables.

"Good afternoon, class." He began, spreading open a thin notebook. "Congratulations on completing your first month of Charms class. Currently, our top student is Miss Harkstone."

There was a smattering of applause. I could feel my cheeks reddening.

"As a reward, she receives a charm for a charm bracelet! Get it? _Charm _bracelet?"

The class groaned.

"A reward will be given each month for the top of my class. Anyway, anyway," Professor Flitwick went on merrily, waving his wand so that a C-shaped moon charm floated to me, "I have decided that you have all become too comfortable. It's time to mix things up. Students learn the least when they are in their comfort zones."

I frowned slightly. Where was he going with this?

Professor Flitwick waved his wand again, and the chairs, with the students still inside, rose into the air. Alarmed, I gripped the seat with tight fingers. Two girls gasped in fear.

"I've changed the seating plan. So, hang on for a moment while we rearrange." The chairs floated above the desks and seemingly at random lowered themselves at different points of the room. Feeling my lunch churn in my stomach angrily, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to ease the nausea. Drifting through the air definitely wasn't one of my chosen pastimes.

I was in the back of the room now, three different students near my old seat. I felt a flicker of sadness and loss. I had liked my place at the head of the class. I hadn't had any distractions from other students. I had been able to listen and watch Professor Flitwick head-on so that I hadn't missed anything in the lesson. It was going to be much more difficult to learn in this setting.

"Very good, very good." Flitwick said, pleased. "And who can tell me the spell that I used in order to make the chairs move by themselves?"

"_Wingardium leviosa." _I answered, tracing my finger absently against a whorl in the grain of the table. Two students turned around and shot me irritated looks.

Professor Flitwick cleared his throat. Apparently, sending me to the back of the room had been an attempt to keep me quiet. And it had failed.

"Yes, very good, Miss Harkstone. Five points to Ravenclaw. But, please, try and give other students a chance to answer and to earn rewards."

Rolling my eyes, I stayed silent.

Professor Flitwick squeaked, "Please turn to page 67, class. Miss Young, would you care to read the first page of this chapter?"

Hannah Young began reading the chapter that I had already cruised through twice, once a month ago, and the second time, last night for review. I scribbled drawings into the margin of my notebook, placing the quarter-moon charm in the spine of the book so I wouldn't lose it.

"That's a nice drawing," a quiet voice complimented from my left. I looked over sharply and realized, for the first time, that I was not alone back here.

He was a green-eyed, sandy-haired boy my age, with faint pink scars on his face, as if a big housecat had clawed him right in the cheek. A really _big_ housecat. He didn't meet my gaze.

I studied his face for a moment. "You're the boy who was looking at me at breakfast."

He glanced at me, looking uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to."

I shrugged, returning to my drawing. It was a labyrinth of curves and waves. There was only one way out.

"I'm Amber." I said quietly as Hannah droned on. "I'm in Ravenclaw."

"I know." The boy replied. He was reading the textbook. He was following along with what Hannah was saying.

"What's your name?" I asked, remembering Lily's advice to put more effort into how my time was spent here at Hogwarts. _Just be friendly, Amber. Don't tune yourself out into books._

But that was exactly what this boy was doing. He didn't even look up.

"Your name?" I tried again, getting annoyed. Was he ignoring me, or just not hearing me?

He slid a quick look at me. "Remus."

"Remus…?"

Now he was the one looking annoyed. "Who would like to read next?" Professor Flitwick asked. "Anyone?"

Remus raised his hand. "I will, Professor." He recited the next three paragraphs of the chapter, his green eyes never looking my way.

I felt miffed. Lily had asked me to put myself out there, to try and form new friends, to engage with my fellow students. And this boy acted like I was some kind of mosquito annoyingly buzzing around his head. Narrowing my eyes, I raised my hand for the next volunteer.

"Yes, yes, go right ahead, Amber."

Taking a deep breath, I blitzed through the next four pages in the same amount of time it had taken Hannah Young to read three-quarters of just one. I never mispronounced a word or missed one. Half of the class had turned in their seats to give me alarmed expressions. "…This is why it is essential to maintain control when performing charms, especially ones involving elements like fire or water, to avoid injury. Remember, casting charms is the first step in the journey to becoming a fully fledged witch or wizard." I finished the sentence triumphantly and looked up at Professor Flitwick in conclusion.

He looked a little pained. "Very nice, Miss Harkstone. Well… let's see…" He began scrawling movements and words on the chalkboard. "Can someone tell me what kind of spell I would use if I wanted to conjure fire?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, Remus said, "_Incendio?"_

I shut my mouth and gave him a glare. "What's your problem?" I hissed as Flitwick praised him.

Remus shrugged. "You don't have all the answers, Amber."

I felt a flush rise from my neck to my face. "I'm aware of that." I said tightly.

Remus gave me a measured look. "Are you?"

Seething, I bent over my notebook and began drawing a pair of moose clashing with their mighty antlers.

"Today's assignment in class is going to involve making fire!" Flitwick announced. "But we won't be making fire from thin air today. Today, we will be setting fire to these balls of crumpled newspaper. In addition, you'll be utilizing the levitation charm you learned last week to keep the ball floating in the air while it burns." Flitwick waved his wand, and each of us received a ball of crumpled paper that floated over from his desk. "As Mister Lupin said, you'll want to use the charm _Incendio_. This is the hand movement." He made an upside-down V with his left hand. "And remember not to use too much power. Keep it controlled. The student who can keep their ball burning until the end of class will earn five points for their House."

Several students said _incendio _at once. From my vantage point, I could watch the attempts. A few balls didn't light at all. One boy, Joshua Freeman, exploded his ball of newspaper with a tiny _boom_. Professor Flitwick sent him another ball of paper, waving his hand to clear away the smoke.

I set my drawing aside and pulled out my ash wand. I copied the V-shaped movement Flitwick had demonstrated and muttered, _Incendio._ I focused on the ball as it slowly smoldered.

Remus was burning his newspaper ball as well. His glowed like a miniature sun and gave off light and heat that warmed my hand. I glanced over, trying not to show how impressed I was.

But Lily had said to make friends.

"That's really good." I ventured.

Remus didn't even blink. He stared at his globe-shaped flame, waving his wand lightly. The ball was like a magnet, following the movements exactly.

Annoyed, I tried again. "You're good with Charms."

Remus pretended not to hear me.

Anger flooded through my veins, burning away the courtesy and kindness. "You're a jerk, you know that?"

Remus lifted a brow. He waved his wand, like a whip cracking, and instantly, my slowly-burning newspaper gave a tiny _poof! _and exploded into a pile of blackened ashes. They drifted slowly on top of my drawing of the two clashing moose.

I leapt to my feet. "What's your problem? I was only trying to be nice!"

Remus gave me a cold look. "I don't want friends. So stop trying to be nice. Stop pretending to want to be my friend, because I don't want to be friends with you. Just leave me alone."

He hadn't yelled. He hadn't even raised his voice. He was just calm, cold, and precise, watching me with those hard green eyes like they were made of stone-cold emeralds. He reminded me so much of my mother that I nearly wept. And just like that, I was sucked into a memory that I had tried so hard to forget.

_Mum gave me a bored expression as I handed her a brilliant, rainbow-colored dahlia that I had grown myself and turned colors with magic. "What is this? Some cheap knockoff from the market?" she had said disdainfully as she turned away from me and praised Virginia for going for a short walk outside in the yard. _

_"__Mummy, look what I made for you." I said, trying to smile. "See? I made it. All by myself. It's for you."_

_Mum waved me off. "Go play outside, Amber. Your sister needs my attention. You're healthy. She's not."_

_I tugged on her skirt pleadingly. "But Mummy, I have a cold. I'm the sick one. Just look."_

_"__Go away, Amber!" Mum snapped. "I'm not going to play with you right now or see what you've done. Stop trying to impress me. Go outside and play with your dolls or your magic. Just leave me alone."_

_Just leave me alone._

_I ran outside, sitting in the shade of a rhodendron bush when Daddy saw my face. He stormed inside. I could hear him yell at Mum, even though the windows were shut._

_"__For God's sake, Lena. She's six years old! She needs your attention just as much as Virginia." He said the Lord's name._

_Mum screamed words at him that I don't want to remember. Not ever._

I blinked hard, breaking free of the memory. I stared at Remus, who was giving me a curious stare. Setting my jaw, I picked up my book and slipped it into my book bag.

"Miss Harkstone?" Professor Flitwick asked. "Where are you going? Class is still going for another fifteen minutes."

"I feel sick." I half-lied, back turned to him and the class. _Don't cry. You're not a baby. Crying never did any good for you. _I had cried buckets of tears in my life, mostly for myself. I sucked in a deep breath of air and marched out of the room. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

It wasn't Remus' fault for not wanting to be friends. He just didn't want to be. Plain and simple. _And I shouldn't be taking it personally._

So why was I?

The hallways were deserted. Class was still in session. I bustled down the empty stone corridor, my black robes billowing out behind me. The swaying trees beckoned me. I left the castle and strode away, determined to leave behind the mean students and the disappointments, even if just for an hour or two. I was so tired of the drama. I was so tired of crying!

I headed down a rocky path, leading down to the edge of the lake. Flat, smooth gray rocks lined the beach. There was no sand. Dropping my book bag, I plucked up a stone and skimmed it across the water. It skipped four times. I repeated it with another stone, and another. But soon I was casting them into the water with reckless abandon, picking up the heavier stones and flinging them into the cold depths of the water. My robes got in the way, so I tore them off and threw them aside. Red-faced and gasping, I threw stones until my arms were weak and little spots of color popped in my vision. I hunched over, hands on my thighs, panting, trying to catch my breath back.

Sometimes, there just weren't enough rocks.

Spent, I sat on a boulder on the edge of the lake, watching the water that I had disturbed slowly settle and smooth. Soon the surface of the lake was as still as a mirror. The overcast sky reflected soot-gray clouds.

I was completely alone out here. I didn't see any birds flying. No fish touched the surface of the water in search of bugs. I turned around and studied the great castle of Hogwarts looming above me, dominating the skyline. It was massive, impressive, a formidable and reliable fortress.

I thought about what Vincent Backe had written weeks ago in the Daily Prophet. He had said that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was on the way to power again. That he was gathering followers. It was hard to imagine that a man who was already such an infamous dark wizard had ever walked the halls of Hogwarts as a student, the same halls that I walked now. And it was just as likely that he had stood on this beach too, and probably sat where I was sitting, right now. A chill ran down my spine, but not from the cool air.

At least I had proven I was a witch. I had mastered the basics of Charms and was moving onto more advanced, but relatively basic, techniques. Potions was a fun class, but I didn't possess Lily's gifted touch. And from what she had told me about Severus, he was also a very skilled brewer.

My other classes were satisfactory. I was certain I had an A in each class. I wouldn't accept anything less. Not even a B+.

Drawing my knees to my chest, I tried not to think about James, Sirius, or Remus. What was it about those three? Why were they so repellant to me? Was it how I looked? Were they jealous of my brains? Remus seemed bright, but he was still cold and didn't want anything to do with me. James and Sirius couldn't get enough of me in all the wrong ways. They were mean, coarse, and unrefined. I wondered what kind of upbringing could have possibly made them the way they were.

The leaves on the trees were already changing color, blushing as autumn swept through. A light breeze stirred the water and sent a wave of leaves scattering through the air and along the ground. My long hair whipped in front of my face. I bent down to pick up another smooth rock. I pulled out my wand, tapping the surface lightly. "_Spongify." _

The hard granite rock softened. Pliable in my hands, I pressed it into different shapes and sizes. I slipped the rubbery rock into my bag and let out a heavy sigh. At least I was a witch. At least I could use magic, and know the history and technique behind spells. Hadn't I proven it over and over in class? Hadn't I proved it just now?

I had a feeling Mum still wouldn't be impressed. Not even if I learned how to cast a Patronus Charm in my first year.

I had an Astronomy class next, but the fact that it was overcast, coupled with the fact that the last place I wanted to be right now was inside stone walls, convinced me to play hooky for the first time this year and break my perfect attendance record. Picking up my bag, I walked along a narrow path that snaked along the edge of the lake. The only beaches were far and few between, and only rocks. I wondered if there was even any sand on the bottom of the huge lake.

I stopped twenty minutes into my walk at an alcove. From here, I could see Hogwarts in all its glory. Even from this distance, it was impressive. I felt a tug of yearning to return. After all, I was probably breaking the rules by being this far from the school. I couldn't have been more than a mile, but I was sure I nearing boundaries of some sort.

"This is probably as good a spot as ever." I conceded. I would take a break here and turn around.

I approached the water's edge, bending down to dip my hands in the cold water. I splashed my warm face with two full hands. I shook my hair away from my face and dabbed it with the hem of my robe. I turned to leave when I saw four heads on the surface of the water.

My heart constricted in fear and alarm. Spine tingling with horror, I backed up, nearly tripping over rocks, but then the heads came closer. I realized with a rush of adrenaline that they were mermaids. They ducked underwater and broke the surface just a few feet from where I was.

I stood, transfixed. They were beautiful. As they got closer, I could see their attractively slanted eyes, their long, curling, flowing hair cascading over their bare shoulders. They were all female, and all more beautiful than any person that walked on land. They came close to the shore, in the shallows, making peculiar clicking and moaning noises.

I approached slowly, rocks clattering under my feet. They came closer. I could see their long, shimmering tails underneath the water, even in the dull overcast light. The one closest to me never blinked.

Oh, she had such a beautiful face. How was it possible for a mermaid to look like an angel? I pulled on my hair absently, knowing I would never be as pretty as any of them were. _When will I ever get this chance again? _I thought. _Maybe I should get a little closer, just to remember what they look like…_

I felt something cold on my legs, but assumed it was just the lake water splashing up onto me because of the mermaids making tiny waves. I leaned closer, transfixed by the mermaid's dark eyes. They were dark, black, like Severus's. They were blacker than obsidian, and colder, like the depths of the lake.

Her face swam closer. My hair swung around the sides of my face. Why was she going under the water? Why was she moving so slowly?

I felt something wrap around my ankle, cold, hard, and wet, and that was when I realized I was in trouble. It must have showed on my face, because the mermaid's face twisted into an ugly snarl and she gave a sharp tug.

I fell face-first into the water.

The water wasn't deep, only up to my knees, but the mermaid pulled me under. And pinned me.

I struggled, trying not to panic, but all I saw were the silver bubbles of my own breath escaping to the surface of the water. My own life was flashing in little pockets of air, right before my horrified eyes. And I was drowning.

I tried to fight, but the mermaid far overpowered me. I groped for my wand, but what good would that do? I didn't know any spells to protect myself other than _expelliarmus_. And mermaids didn't have wands.

I struggled harder, panic overwhelming every sense, every fiber of my body screaming _DANGER!. _I was dying, and this mermaid was going to drown me.

I fought, but she was relentless. She could breathe underwater. I could not.

My flails weakened. I was tired, and the water was filling my ears, nose, mouth, and lungs… I was going to die here, in knee-deep water, in my first month of school. Why hadn't I stayed on the shore…?

Suddenly I was ripped out of the water and thrown onto the rocks. There was a terrible snarling, and then screams and shrieks. I could hear loud splashing and furious growls. I tried to open my eyes, but all I could see was black.

Rocks clattered next to me. Something hit my chest hard, as if a punch had been slammed right into my gut. Jackknifing up, I vomited and coughed up lungfuls of lake water, gasping for air. I greedily sucked the sweet mountain air into my lungs, even though it burned like fire. I clutched my throat, then my head. I had come within minutes of dying.

Trembling hard, I looked around, trying to find my savior. My vision was still blurry. I rubbed my eyes and tried to see.

A fuzzy shape slowly focused into view. Short, messy hair… Green eyes…

Surprise overtook any fear, dizziness, or confusion. "Remus?" I croaked.

He grimaced. "You're an idiot."

I coughed hard, my hair dripping, my clothes sodden. "I… I was just…"

He held up a hand for silence. "Come on, it doesn't matter." He helped me to my feet. I staggered toward my bag, my legs shaking harder than had ever in my entire life.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Remus demanded as he escorted me down the narrow path leading back to Hogwarts.

"I just wanted to get away for a little bit." I retorted, but even that sounded stupid and childish to me. Ears flaming in shame, I bit my lips to keep from talking and embarrassing myself further.

"Mermaids drown people." He explained, exasperated. "You were probably easy prey for them. An easy meal."

A cold shudder raced down my back. Me? Dinner? "That's awful."

He grimaced again. "You look sick."

"I might puke again." I leaned over against a tree and threw up again. More lake water came up. Tears streaming from my eyes from the burn, I wiped my mouth and hobbled beside him.

"I'm a vegetarian." I croaked.

Remus sighed. "Take off your robe."

Too numb to protest, I obeyed.

Remus pulled off his robe and laid it over my shoulders. He wrapped up my sopping robe and carried it for me, then hefted my book bag onto his other shoulder.

"You don't have to do that for me." I said after a long moment.

Remus gave me a pointed look. "You can hardly stand, let alone walk. I don't want you to collapse with this extra weight."

Chilled by the water and by the experience of nearly being eaten by mermaids, I wrapped his warm robe around my shoulders and didn't protest.

"How did you know I was in trouble?" I asked after several steps.

A muscle jerked in Remus' cheek. "I wanted to apologize to you after you walked out of class. I didn't mean to you make you upset. But you seemed like you wanted to be alone, so I gave you space. I was going to apologize on that beach, but the mermaids got you first."

I shut my eyes briefly. I never wanted to think about that again, but I knew it was going to haunt me for a long time to come. Especially at night, in my dreams.

"You okay?" Remus asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." I replied, moving my jelly-like legs. "I just want to get warm and dry."

"I wish I knew a spell for that." Remus mused ruefully. "Madame Pomfrey will patch you up."

"You know her?" I gave him a half-smile. "James and Sirius beat you up?"

He shook his head. "They're my friends. They wouldn't hurt me."

I snorted at that, but it backfired and I coughed hard for a few moments before I could talk again. "They're mean as hornets. They…" I didn't want to admit how many times they'd reduced me to tears. "They're bullies. To me and to others."

Remus' eyes shadowed. "I know. I wish they wouldn't but they're just being boys."

I rolled my eyes. "They're just being arses."

He grimaced again. "I can't argue with that."

Remus stayed close as we ascended the steep path back up the slope of the hill that led to the castle. Out of breath, I was unable to talk until we were in the corridors again. Our footsteps echoed loudly in the halls. They were empty again. The other classes must have been in session. I glanced out of the windows and shot a disdainful look at the lake before turning away. What other horrors swam beneath the surface?

"Almost there." Remus promised as we rounded another bend. I nodded silently and followed him. He walked with purpose and familiarity, as if he had been to this part of the castle several times before.

Two great doors opened for Remus, revealing a cathedral-like room with several beds lining the walls. A woman in a white apron and white hat rose from a desk and hurried to meet us. Her light brown hair was graying at the temples, but her blue eyes were full of energy and knowledge. "Oh my heavens!" She exclaimed. "Child! What happened to you?"

"Fell into the water." Remus said. "A mermaid tried to pull her in."

The nurse looked horrified, then furious. "A mermaid attack? Here? Dumbledore'll have a word with those fishwives. Oh, he'll have _several_…"

I glanced at Remus. Those things hadn't spoken English. How was Dumbledore "going to have a word" with them?

The nurse shook her head, placing her hands on me. "You poor thing. You look as pale as death. Come, come with me. Remus, thank you for bringing her here. You may return to your class."

He nodded. "You're welcome, Madame Pomfrey. I can tell Dumbledore what happened if you want."

She shook her head. "Thank you, Remus, but I'd rather speak with him myself. But I may need you to share your account of the story if the Headmaster requires it."

Remus dipped his head. "Feel better, Amber."

I smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Remus."

He handed my wet robe back to Madame Pomfrey. I started to shrug out of his robe, but Remus shook his head. "Just return it to me the next time I see you in class."

Warmth filled me at his kindness. "Thanks."

Remus gave me a quick smile, and left.

"Such a nice boy." Madame Pomfrey murmured as she fussed over me like a mother hen over a chick. "You poor thing. You must have been scared out of your mind."

I shrugged. I didn't want to tell her how much it had shaken me, how close I had come to becoming a new ghost wandering the halls of Hogwarts.

Madame Pomfrey changed me into a gown and wrapped me in huge, fluffy quilts, but I still felt the chill of death deep inside of me. I wondered if the lake water lingered inside, a poison of the mermaid that would eventually turn me into a half-fish hybrid. I pushed the unpleasant thought away.

Madame Pomfrey gently pressed a steaming mug of green tea into my cold hands. "Oh, you're still freezing." She fretted. "Come, have some tea. That's it."

I took a sip, nearly scalding my tongue, but I wanted to put her mind at rest. "Thank you."

Two figures in robes swept down the hall. One of them was Professor McGonagall. The other was Dumbledore. A third figure who I hadn't seen before because of his short stature appeared. It was Flitwick.

None of them looked happy.

Shame prickled my face. I hardly dared to look at them.

"What were you thinking?" McGonagall snapped. "A first year? Wandering off on your own? Nearly outside of our borders?" She looked furious. "You could have been killed! You almost were, by the looks of you!"

I ducked my head, wishing I could sink into the floor.

"I am very disappointed in you." Flitwick said in a grave tone. "Very bad, very unwise judgment. Twenty-five points will be taken from Ravenclaw."

I closed my eyes, wishing I could go deaf.

"Can't you let her rest first?" Madame Pomfrey fussed. "She's had a very bad scare, which I think is plenty enough for punishment. If Remus hadn't found her, she'd be dead!"

Silence met her words. "Is this true, Amber?" McGonagall said quietly.

I nodded.

"Tell us what happened." She instructed. "Take all the time you need."

I felt like she was patronizing me, which made me feel worse. I told them what I had done. _I'm such a child. How could I have been so foolish?_

"This looks like a cry for attention." McGonagall said harshly. "Maybe we should send her home until she's mature enough to attend our school."

My head snapped up, my mouth parting in horror. Tears filled my eyes and poured down my cheeks. I stared at her, devastated.

Dumbledore smiled gently. "I think she is ready to attend, Minerva. We made the right choice in choosing her for the class of 1978. She made a mistake, as we all do, especially at her age. I think she has learned her lesson. You have, haven't you, Amber?"

I nodded my head fiercely. "Please, please don't send me home." I begged. I fought to keep from breaking down completely. The last thing I wanted was to be sent home. What would Mum say?

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Professor Dumbledore, she needs to be punished. This is inexcusable behavior. Even from a first year."

Dumbledore spread his old hands. "She has learned her lesson, Minerva. If this behavior repeats itself, then we may discuss alternative discipline. Right now, I think, she has been punished enough by a near death experience."

McGonagall looked mutinous, but kept her mouth shut, her lips pressed together in a tight line.

Professor Flitwick cleared his throat. "No more leaving class, Amber, unless it's straight to the infirmary. Understood?"

I hung my head. "Yes, sir."

"Well, thank you, Poppy." said Dumbledore. "I leave her in your capable care."

"Are you going to speak with those heathens?" Madame Pomfrey half-demanded.

"Yes, of course. I will speak with them." Dumbledore moved himself into my field of vision so that he could look into my eyes. I wanted to look away in shame, but his electric blue eyes locked me in place.

"You were a very brave girl for fighting back, Amber. Well done." He sounded genuine. I nodded once, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. It was the first nice thing someone had said to me about the entire incident.

The three teachers left.

Madame Pomfrey encouraged me to finish my tea. I obeyed. The warmth chased away most of the chill. But most of my relief came from knowing that I wasn't going to be expelled. I wanted to weep, but for what? Nothing bad was going to happen to me. My bad decision was not going to cost me my place at Hogwarts.

I took a deep breath. _Calm down, Amber. You're acting like a baby, crying and helpless. Get a grip!_

Since I was her only steward, Madame Pomfrey saw to my every need for the next few hours. She offered to spoon-feed me a mushroom and vegetable broth soup, but I quickly assured her I was capable of feeding myself.

"What a nice boy, that Remus." Madame Pomfrey sighed as she folded his newly washed and dried robe.

"How do you know him?" I asked as I ate, hoping to glean some information on the mysterious boy.

Madame Pomfrey smiled. "I see him every few weeks. He brings me flowers. He's a sweet boy, Miss Harkstone. I'm not the least bit surprised that he saved your life." Her eyes darkened, and she turned away, laying his robe over the end of my cot and straightening sheets on the vacant beds nearby.

"What do you mean?"

Madame Pomfrey sighed. "I mean he's got a kind soul. And I knew he would do great things. Noble things." She glanced at the clock. "You should try and sleep."

My gaze swiveled around the wide, empty room. It was creepy. "I'd like to sleep in my own bed tonight."

She frowned. "Heavens, no. I'm going to keep you overnight for observation. Don't worry, dear, I sleep right over there." She pointed to a door near the back of the room. "I won't be very far if you need me."

I felt daunted at the thought of sleeping out here alone.

She seemed to notice my distress, because she added, "I can leave the door open."

_Are you a baby, Amber? _I thought angrily. I shook my head, even though a part of me protested. "I'm alright. But thank you."

She left me a pitcher of water and turned in for the night. I opened a fat textbook from my bag. _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _by Newt Scamander, along with my Charms book. I flipped through the pages, my wand held at my side. _"Protego," _I muttered, furious that I hadn't remembered such a simple defensive spell when I was under attack. I would need to work on that. A panicked brain was more dangerous than a mermaid.

_**Merpeople **(also known as Sirens, Selkies, Merrows)_

_M.O.M. Classification: XXXX_

_Merpeople exist throughout the world, though they vary in appearance almost as much as humans. Their habits and customs remain as mysterious as those of the centaur, though those wizards who have mastered the language of Mermish speak of highly organized communities varying in size according to habitat, and some have elaborately declined "being" status in favour of a "beats" classification._

_The oldest recorded merpeople were known as sirens (Greece) and it is in warmer waters that we find the beautiful mermaids so frequently depicted in Muggle literature and painting. The selkies of Scotland and the Merrows of Ireland are less beautiful but they share that love of music which is common to all merpeople._

_Merpeople are omnivorous and will hunt people just as they would their aquatic prey, especially if food is scare. Males do not hunt. The females are responsible for food and for defending the clan. If threatened, they will attack. Females have also been known to be very jealous and will drown women simply because they envious. They should be treated with caution, just as centaurs and other XXXX rated creatures are._

I clutched my wand tightly in my right hand. I kept replaying the horrible experience over and over in my mind's eye, unable to stop. "_Protego." _I whispered over and over. _"Protego." _I cast shield charm after shield charm, long after midnight had passed. By morning, I was a master at the protective charm.

I would never be helpless again.


	7. Acrophobia

Madame Pomfrey kept me under close inspection for the morning, but after I showed no more ill effects of the near-drowning, released me from the hospital wing. She handed me Remus Lupin's black robe, which she had washed and dried. "No more dangerous stints like that, Miss Harkstone," she added as she dismissed me.

I had enough time to make it to the Great Hall for lunch. I sat with Lily, who took one look at me and jumped up from her seat, crushing me in a rib-shattering hug.

"Lily!" I gasped. "I'm fine!"

"You scared me to death, Amber Harkstone!" Lily cried as she sat down with me. Quite a few people were watching us. I felt my cheeks burn. "How many people know…?"

"About you almost dying yesterday?" Lily finished. "I'm not sure. I found out from Remus."

But judging from how many people were looking in my direction, I knew that number was a lot higher than just a few. I wondered who else Remus would have told, aside from Lily and our teachers.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Lily fretted. "Your fingers are like ice!"

They had brushed against her hand as I reached for a fillet of grilled salmon. I shrugged. "Try falling into the lake during the middle of October. It's not exactly refreshing."

Lily watched me spear a piece of pink salmon into my mouth. "I thought you were a vegetarian."

"I'm in the mood for fish." I said darkly, imagining the salmon as a section of that stupid mermaid's tail. I never wanted to see another one in my life.

"I'm glad you're okay." Lily said. "I was really worried about you. Remus said a mermaid attacked you."

"Remus was right." I stabbed another piece of salmon.

Lily looked horrified. "But I thought mermaids were kind! I thought they were sweet..."

"Well, they're not." I recited the description of them from _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_.

Lily's eyes widened. "That's awful… I wonder what else we're mistaken about."

I didn't want to think about that. What other seemingly harmless or kind creatures were in reality monsters who wanted nothing more than to kill and eat? I added a scoop of basmati rice to the plate and dropped a pat of butter on top. Lily watched me eat with concerned eyes. "Are you sure you're alright, Amber?"

"I'm fine." I waved her off and threw a glance in Remus' direction. He was sitting next to Sirius and James, reading a textbook.

Lily followed my gaze. "You know Remus?"

I nodded. "He saved me from the lake."

Lily's eyes bugged out of her skull. Finishing my plate, I explained to her what happened. She whitened when I recounted how Professor McGonagall had wanted me expelled.

"She can't expel you!" She gasped, horrified. "You're a brilliant top! You're one of the top students in our year!"

I shrugged. "I don't think she likes me very much."

McGonagall was the Head of Lily's House. Looking distressed, Lily stood up. "Come on." She said, looking at McGonagall, who was sitting at the staff table. "Let's go to the library."

I rose from my spot, still holding Remus's robes, and followed Lily. We hadn't gone more than four steps when a loud voice snapped, "Have a nice swim, Harkstone?"

"Just ignore him." Lily whispered. I narrowed my eyes, biting my tongue.

"I heard you wanted to get makeover lessons from the mermaids." James jeered again. "Next time, just talk to Hagrid. I'm sure he can help you comb out that nasty hair."

Lily looked furious. I reached for my wand, my hand resting on the hilt in my pocket. "No." Lily whispered sharply. "Wait. We'll get them later."

Heart pounding like a war drum, I forced myself to take my hand off of the wand and follow Lily out of the Hall. I couldn't help throwing a look over my shoulder to give James a nasty glare. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue, his untidy black hair sticking up in all directions. Sirius pointed at my face and laughed. Remus did not look up from his reading.

Lily and I marched to the library, nodding to Madam Pince, who smiled warmly at our arrival. She handed us each a small bar of dark chocolate. It helped being bookworms with the school librarian.

Lily chose a table in the back of the huge room, hidden behind high shelves stocked with books. Her face was dark with rage as she opened her Potions book. "I cannot believe that Potter boy." She snarled. "He's always picking on you and Sev. And for what?"

I rolled my eyes. "Who knows. Maybe he's just mean."

Lily sighed heavily and flipped a page. I craned my neck. "Wait… that's not Potions…"

She was reading a Charms book, her eyes scanning through a list of spells. Her face brightened. "Look! This is the perfect one."

I squinted. "This one? Are you sure?"

Lily grinned. "Of course I am. You get Black, and I'll get Potter."

I smiled at her nasty smirk. "You really don't like Potter, do you?"

Lily cracked her knuckles. "There's a special place in the dungeons for bullies. And I intend on making him pay for what he's done to my two best friends."

Grinning, I spread open my homework binder and pulled out the assignment for Transfiguration. "McGonagall wants me to read through Chapter Five. I guess a third peruse wouldn't hurt."

Giggling, Lily pointed her wand at my head. "_Curlaeus_."

I shook my head. Reaching up, I felt elaborate curls where my hair had just hung down straight as a curtain. "How did you do that?"

Lily looked delighted. "It's a new charm I found in _Witch Today. _It has a whole list of spells you can use to change your hair color, change the style, and even how to put on makeup!"

Lily had always been more into girly things, much like Virginia. I kept touching my new curls as I read through Chapter Five again of the Transfiguration homework and began to write down answers on the questionnaire.

"You know," Lily said as Madam Pince walked by, smiling, "I think I just had a thought."

"You think?" I said sardonically, flipping through the pages of _Witch Today. _

Lily grinned. "I've just gotten a great idea for punishing those boys."

Intrigued, I leaned forward. "Tell me."

Lily's green eyes glittered. "Well, look at this spell right here…"

I walked into Charms class after Lily and I had finished in the library. I took my seat at the table beside Remus. He was nose-deep in a novel.

"Whatcha reading?" I asked casually, pulling his robes out of my book bag.

Remus glanced over. "A book."

So we were back to Mr. Loner again.

Rolling my eyes, I slapped his folded robes on the space between us. "Thanks for saving my life."

Remus didn't look up. "No problem."

I drummed my fingers on the desk. Remus said nothing.

"Are you really going to keep ignoring me?" I blurted.

Remus sighed. "I don't want to talk about this right now."

My temper began to rise. Narrowing my eyes, I slammed my Charms book onto my desk, hard enough to draw the startled eyes of a few students ahead of us. "Talk about what? The fact that you're friends with two complete _arses _like James Potter and Sirius Black?"

Face reddening, Remus opened his mouth to speak, but before he could a squeaky voice interrupted, "Oh, I know I didn't just hear such vulgar talk from one of my star pupils!" Professor Flitwick piped up as he strolled back. "I'd hate to take five points from Ravenclaw, so I'm giving you a warning, Miss Harkstone! No more strong language in my classroom."

Fuming, I clenched my teeth to keep silent.

Remus stuffed his robes into his bag while Flitwick began scrawling words onto the chalkboard. "Today, students, we will be reading and learning about the softening charm! Can anyone tell me what the incantation for this charm is?"

Remus began to raise his hand, but I waved my wand and muttered, "_Arresto momentum_." just as Hannah Young answered Flitwick's question loudly, "_Spongify, _Professor?"

Remus' hand froze just before he could move it higher than two inches above the desk. He threw me a startled look.

"We need to talk." I muttered hotly. "Stop avoiding me."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Stop being a child."

Anger boiled in my veins. "Can a first year use second year level charms?" I said, referencing the spell I'd just used on him.

He looked irritatingly unimpressed.

"If you want to hang out with jerks like Potter and Black, you owe me an explanation." I hissed.

Remus's pale green eyes flashed. "I don't owe you anything. _I_ saved _your _life, remember?"

Heat flooded my cheeks. "Don't remind me. Forget I said anything."

Remus tried to move his still frozen hand. "Would you mind?"

I flicked my wand under my desk. "_Resumere momentum."_

Looking supremely annoyed, Remus raised his hand, answering the next question that Flitwick had asked that I hadn't even heard. I scrawled down the notes the pint-sized professor had been recording on the chalkboard at the front of the room. After class, Remus rose quickly and kept his back turned to me. Feeling spurned, I stuffed my textbooks into my book bag and headed for the exit. Angelina Azadian met me at the door to my next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts. "Professor Munkee cancelled." She sighed.

"What? Again?" I tried to peer inside of the small window in the door, but it had been blacked out.

She shrugged. "He's probably been injured by another one of Professor Kettleburn's creatures. Last time it was a particularly resiliant lethifold, I think."

The weight of heavy books made the strap of my bag dig painfully into my shoulder. If Professor Munkee was out of commission again, it gave me a free period to study.

"Do you want to go outside and watch the Gryffindor team practice Quidditch? I hear Thomas Bearace is offering to talk to some of the spectators."

Rolling my eyes at Angelina's girlish blush, I started towards the distant Ravenclaw tower. "I'm going to pass. You go have fun."

"Alright! See you at dinner, Amber!"

"Mental, that one." I muttered, unsure of why Angelina, as nice as she was, made it a point to try and befriend me.

At this time of day when classes were in session, I was surprised when I noticed a crowd of people near the base of the Ravenclaw tower. Uneasy, I clamped a hand around my bag's strap and approached slowly.

There was a nervous babble of commotion. I caught things like "looks like he was trying to break in" and "I hope it's not broken" and "Sneaky little Gryffindor" and, "Is that _blood?"_.

I pushed my way through, most of the crowd made up of fellow Ravenclaws, and found myself staring down at a short, pudgy boy with a bowl cut of mousy brown hair. He was crumpled on the ground, motionless, on his side. A small pool of blood had gathered underneath his head.

Dropping my bag, I hurried forward, undaunted by the sight of blood. How many times had Virginia coughed it up, or snapped a bone? I bent down, pressing my fingers expertly against the boy's neck. A pulse was there, but alarmingly weak.

"Someone get help!" I shouted, silencing the murmur of whispers. "Don't just stand there! Go get Madam Pomfrey! He needs to be in the hospital wing now!"

There was the sound of someone moving away very quickly, running to get help. I racked my brain for spells that Mum would have used to stop the bleeding or heal a broken bone, but the adrenaline shooting through my veins made my hands shake and memory inaccesible. The small pool of blood slowly spread out.

"Is he dead?" A student whispered.

"He's hurt!" I snapped, beginning to feel the first flashes of fury that no one else had bothered to help this boy. He could have been no older than me, maybe ten. Hardly eleven. His red and gold tie gave away his status as a Gryffindor student.

The boy stirred faintly, groaning. One arm was bent badly out of position. His blue eyes opened slowly, one of them bloodshot. _Internal bleeding_. I thought, remembering my frail sister.

The boy's face crumpled and he let out a low moan of pain. He seemed to be coming to, and let out another moan, but this time it rose into a shriek of agony. "My arm!" He screamed. "My head!"

"You're going to be alright." I said, trying to calm him down. "Please, help is coming."

The boy seemed not to hear me. "Mommy! I want Mommy! OUCH! My head! My arm!"

"What's this?" A booming voice demanded. "What's happened?"

I turned slightly. Professor McGonagall stared down at the blood-covered boy and floor, her eyes huge. She froze for just a moment and then bent down quickly, helping the sobbing boy to his feet.

"Come, boy. Off to the hospital wing with you. Now, let's go." She pointed to a fifth year. "You! Come with me. Help me bring him to the infirmary. Yes, you! Now!"

As the other student helped the injured student, others looked at each other in confusion and disbelief. "How did that even happen?" I asked, rising to my feet, staring at the puddle of the boy's red blood on the ground.

"I saw him." A third year said gravely. She had short curly brown hair and a large blue headband. "He was trying to sneak into the common room. He tried coming down the stairs, but he missed a step and fell."

There was a collective sharp gasp of air. "How far did he fall?" One girl asked, face white.

She grimaced. "Pretty far. At least fifteen feet. Maybe more."

More students were staring at me. Averting my gaze, I started up the winding spiral stairs to the common room.

"Part of the problem is that we don't have any railings!" One student said loudly from the bottom of the stairs.

It was exactly why Ravenclaws were careful to stay close to the walls and mind their steps. It wasn't hard to see how a Gryffindor could have injured himself trying to break into the Ravenclaw's common room.

The area was deserted, leaving me free to study for Charms class. My thoughts were distracted by that of the boy. He had seemed so familiar. Perhaps it had been the blood all over his face that had kept me from recognizing him.

I was joined by a few students in the next hour, but the remainder of the afternoon passed in relative uneventfulness, except every time I walked to a new class, students would be talking about the nameless Gryffindor student who had fallen from the stairs in Ravenclaw's tower. It wasn't until dinner when I sat beside Lily that I finally learned who it had been.

"Poor Peter Pettigrew." Lily murmured as she helped herself to a serving of treacle tart. "I heard he fractured his skull and had a broken arm."

Instantly I remembered the blood loss. "He was in a lot of pain." I remarked, hardly touching my pumpkin pie.

Lily studied me carefully. "Do you think he was trying to sneak into Ravenclaw's common room?"

I shrugged. "What else would he have been doing?"

She seemed troubled. "Peter doesn't seem like the kind of person to do stuff like that. He hangs out with Black and Potter, but he doesn't have the brains like they do."

"He's in your year?"

She nodded absently. "I just can't fathom _why _he'd do something so utterly stupid. He's not completely brainless, but he's in the company of those two goons. Maybe… maybe they set him up to it!"

Her fork clattered against her plate as fire burned in her eyes. "Those complete arses! I bet they did!"

"Did what?" I said uncertainly, not following.

She stared at the two boys twenty feet away, sitting near Remus. All three boys were smiling and talking. None of them seemed concerned at all over what had happened to Peter.

"I bet Potter and Black sent him to do their dirty work. A dare, or a prank. Something horrible. You know, they're always bullying Sev."

"Even Remus?"

She shook her head. "I don't know why he chooses to be with those two toerags. Remus is so polite and… well, it just doesn't make any sense!"

I closed my fingers around my ash wand. "Do you think we should do something?"

"Do something?" Lily repeated. "I think Professor McGonagall will sort those two out."

I shook my head. "Listen to yourself, Lily. I don't think she will."

"Please." Lily said hotly. "Have you ever met McGonagall? She doesn't put up with them. Especially that Black boy."

"Do you honestly think Peter will squeal on them?" I reasoned. "I've seen how he looks at those boys. Like they're the greatest thing since sliced bread."

Lily looked defeated. "You're right… but how? They'll never take anything seriously."

"What about that charm in the magazine?" I recalled. "Wouldn't something like that work?"

Lily's eyes brightened. "You're right." She pulled out her willow wand discreetly. "Follow me. When you get close enough to Black, hex him. I'll get Potter."

"What about Remus?" I added, as Lily rose calmly and innocently.

She shook her head. "He's done nothing wrong."

I felt a flare of indignation inside of me. _Hadn't he? _ By treating me like some annoying troll?

Too quickly, we were already passing the three boys. The freebooters. I saw Lily whisper something from the corner of her mouth as she passed Potter, her wand flicking slightly. Nothing happened.

I was right behind Remus and Black, who were completely oblivious to our presence. I gave my wand a tiny wave at Black's back. "_Capillos rosea."_

Just before I passed, I flicked my wand at Remus and repeated my curse. I followed Lily out of the Hall, her eyes dancing with mischief and righteous excitement.

"They got what they deserved." She squealed.

"I hate to say this, Lily, but I didn't see anything wrong with them."

Lily, who was always so innocent and sweet and against pranks, grinned wickedly. "You will tomorrow morning at breakfast. Don't you worry."

_Clack clack clack. _Sharp footsteps approached. Lily and I turned towards the source of the sound. Professor McGonagall was marching through the open double doors, her intense green eyes fixated directly on me. My stomach dropped and my blood turned to ice.

"Harkstone." She said in a clipped tone. "Come with me."


	8. Sick

Lily's eyes were the size of saucers. Her heart-shaped face drained to deathly white. I turned and stared at Professor McGonagall, sure that I was frozen to the floor in shock and terror.

Her hawk-like eyes narrowed at me. "Now, Miss Harkstone."

_Go. _Lily mouthed at me, looking shaken.

Hands shaking, I forced my feet to follow Lily's Head, who turned swiftly on her heel and swept down the stone corridor. My ash wand was slicked in sweat from my hands.

"Put that away, Miss Harkstone." Professor McGonagall ordered. "There is no need for students to practice magic outside of class."

Feeling sick with guilt, I hastily stowed my wand into the folds of my robe. Professor McGonagall marched all the way to Ravenclaw's tower, walking so quickly I needed to take two sides to match one of hers. My eyes zeroed in on the spot where Peter Pettigrew had lain just hours before, a broken and bloody heap on the marble floor.

"I told Filch we would have students falling off of these one day." She muttered, ascending the spiral staircase at a frightening speed. I pressed close to the edge of the wall, not even trying to keep up anymore for fear that I would plummet through the air like Peter had.

Professor McGonagall had already answered the riddle at the door. I hurtled in after her just as the door swung shut.

The common room was mostly deserted. One lone girl sat by the fireplace, poring over a thick textbook.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat loudly. Startled, the girl looked up, took one look at McGonagall, and slapped her book shut. She hurried out of the common room and down the stairs before I had time to catch my breath.

_What if she's going to make me leave school for hexing Sirius? _I thought, feeling sick. Sweat broke out on my upper lip and forehead. My hands felt cold and clammy. Hadn't McGonagall been the very one to want to have me expelled in the first place?

She gestured to the recently vacated armchair. "Sit down, please, Miss Harkstone."

Would it be the last time I sat in this chair in Ravenclaw tower? Why would she have taken me back to my own House unless she was going to have me thrown out?

Shaking hard, I obeyed.

Professor McGonagall remained standing. She pursed her lips. The fire behind me crackled loudly.

"This afternoon, Hogwarts received a letter from your parents."

"My… parents?" I managed, my throat tight.

She nodded stiffly. "Yes. Specifically, your father."

Of course. Mother never had much to say to me, unless it was scathing criticism.

Professor McGonagall sighed heavily, suddenly looking very tired. "You have been called home at once. A family emergency."

_Virginia. _My heart stopped.

Professor McGonagall looked troubled. "You will pack your bags at once and board the Hogwarts Express home tomorrow afternoon. You will be accompanied by your Head Girl, Lila Habenstarf. You will be expected to attend your morning classes and partake in lunch. At one, Miss Habestarf will meet with you there and accompany you down to the train and remain with you during the duration of your journey. You will return to Hogwarts whenever you are fit to do so. In the meanwhile, your homework and assignments will be delivered to your daily by owl."

"What… why isn't Professor Flitwick telling me all of this?" I said, the first thought out of a million that swam in my head.

"The Headmaster felt you would take the news better from me."

I didn't tell her that it didn't matter who I heard the news from. Man or woman, it was still ill tidings that did not bode well.

"As you know, if you absent from classes for longer than a month, you will unfortunately be deemed an academic failure. You will be dismissed from further classes this year and reassigned to your current grade the following fall."

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. One of the few things that bothered me more than illness was personal academic failure. Tears blurred my eyes. "You mean I'll be held back?"

Professor McGonagall nodded once.

I bit my lip hard, barely reigning back the torrent of tears. "I won't let that happen." I choked out. "I will keep up with my classes. I'll… I'll send everything in on time. I won't fail."

"You may not have that option, dear." Professor McGonagall said, more gently.

I shook my head hard. _Oh, Virginia. _I didn't want to think of how serious her bout with illness would have been this time if I was called away from school.

Professor McGonagall looked grim. Almost sad. "Is there any else you need, Miss Harkstone? Perhaps I can call your friend Lily Evans here."

I stood from the armchair, going to stand by the window overlooking the vast lake and the dark forest beyond. The moonlight reflected on the clear water in a silvery white mirror. All I wanted to do was dive into that mermaid-infested water and fight those she-devils, armed with nothing but my wand and my fists. I wanted to take this anger and pain out on them.

"Miss Harkstone?"

"I'm fine." I lied._ I'm fine_? I thought miserably. _My sister is probably dying and I could fail this year. Of course I'm not fine!_

"Well, please… Do not hesitate to ask if you need anything." Professor McGonagall began to move towards the door.

"Professor." I said suddenly. "Is Peter Pettigrew going to be alright?"

She blinked once. "Oh, yes. He suffered a broken arm and a fractured skull, but Madam Pomfrey will have him back to normal by tomorrow." She made an odd face. "You are the one who first called for aid, aren't you?"

I nodded, hardly caring about my involvement. All I wanted to know is that for someone, I had made a difference.

A hint of a smile pulled at her thin lips. "You may have very well saved his life. I will be speaking with Dumbledore about this. Perhaps we can grant you a penalty-free extension on a leave of absence."

I shrugged. All I wanted to do was curl up under my covers and sleep. Pretend that she had never brought me this bad news.

Professor McGonagall gave me one last, long look, and then left the common room quietly. I was alone.

The fire snapped behind me. The heat of the flames warmed one side of my body. I stared out the window, suddenly wanting to jump out of the glass and fall to the ground. I wanted to sprout wings at the last second and fly to safety. I wanted to be stronger than gravity, stronger than illness, stronger than death.

I returned to my room and threw what I needed together into a suitcase. I had no idea how long I would be away, nor did I care. Hogwarts wasn't home, but it was beginning to feel like it. If anything, it was a sleepover camp, like the one Mother and Dad had sent me away to last year.

I changed out of my robes into my Muggle clothes. I zipped on a jacket and pulled on my farm boots, the sturdy waterproof ones that I wore year-round on our rural property, and left the common room without a sound. The blood was pounding in my ears, the walls closing in. I had to get out of here. I had to get outside of these crushing stone walls. Otherwise, I would go mad with restlessness.

I walked carefully down the treacherous spiral steps and walked briskly down the deserted halls. My eyes scoured the walls for any sign of a door, an exit. Anything.

One painting in particular was a panora of the lake. It was almost the exact same image I had seen from the window high in the tower above. The moon shimmered on the surface of the water, just like the view had. When I closed my eyes, I could almost smell the rich scent of lakewater flowing over my face.

Holding up my wand, I gently shook the frame of the canvas with one hand. It didn't budge.

_Password…_

My head snapped up. I looked left and right sharply, but no one was there. It was just me in this long, dark hallway, surrounded by endless moving paintings.

_Password…_

I wasn't imagining it. That sound was coming from the painting of the lake.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, racking my brain. _Come on, Amber… think of something. Anything._

"Bernie Bott's Every Flavored Beans." I said randomly. "Pumpkin pasties. _Aloha mora. Incendio._"

The picture remained stationery.

I stamped my foot out of pure frustration. Why did everything have to go against me?!

"Curse you!" I swore out of unleashed rage. "Curse you!"

There was a subtle clicking noise. I paused, anger momentarily forgotten. Could that have been…

I touched the edge of the painting again, tentatively.

It moved.

Heart beating excitedly, I pushed the painting harder, and it slowly slid open, stuck to the wall but opening like an Oriental door. Behind the painting was a low tunnel, completely dark. But I could feel a strong breeze blowing through, smelling just like the lake and pine trees.

"_Lumose." _I whispered, and the tip of my wand glowed faintly. The ceiling of the tunnel was low, but not so low that I couldn't walk through stooped. Hunched over, I held my ash wand ahead of me, illuminating the way. I heard the painting softly close shut, shutting me inside.

The first pulses of panic washed over me in hot waves, but I gritted my teeth and pushed on. I stumbled twice over loose rocks. Parts of the old tunnel had fallen into disrepair from lack of use. But the smell of the outside was getting stronger, and five minutes later I stepped onto grass.

The nearly full moon bathed the grounds of Hogwarts in silver light. The moon was partially concealed behind a thin veil of gray clouds. A chilly wind blew, sending more strong scents of pine over my face. I breathed the fresh air deeply, my pulse already calming just from the knowledge that I was outside of the stone prison.

"_Nox." _The tip of the wand died out. The moon was so bright I didn't need any extra illumination. I followed the worn grassy path down the lake, standing on the edge of the lapping water, the smooth stones clattering around my boots when I stepped down onto them.

I closed my eyes, trying to focus on just the feel of the wind in my hair, the smell of cold lake water, the exhilarating freedom of sneaking out. I glanced behind me at the profile of Hogwarts. Almost every little square pane of yellow was lit tonight. I made it my mission not to return until only a quarter were left burning.

I left the edge of the lake and wandered around the property, walking farther than I ever had before. The dead grass crunched beneath my boots, but most of the sound was muffled by the near-constant wind blowing off of the lake. The castle remained in sight.

I squinted my eyes slightly at the shape in front of me. It took me a moment to realize it was a large, solitary tree. Outlined by the soft moonlight, I made out countless lengths of lank branches. It was a huge willow tree.

It shivered in the breeze, its bare branches scratching and rattling against each other. There was something oddly sinister about the large willow.

I felt a warning prickle a moment before it happened. A chill ran up the base of my spine to my head before I whirled around, wand out, all sense on high-alert. There was nothing, just moonlit grass and trees.

Behind me, there was a loud groaning and snapping noise. My head turned back sharply just as the huge willow smashed itself forward, missing me by just ten feet, leaving a gash in the dirt. Its whip-like branches snapped through the air, causing something I couldn't see to yelp in pain.

A new sense of fear swept over me as I whirled around, trying to pinpoint the source of the noise. It had sounded dog-like. But it was just me and the tree.

The willow lurched forward again, this time going straight for me.

I jumped out of the way, narrowly avoiding being crushed by its vast knob. High on adrenaline and a little mad from Virginia's bad health, I threw caution to the wind and decided to play a game with the violent tree. It seemed attracted to anything that moved. It had probably seen a coyote or a wild dog and tried to squash it. And it had been scared off.

But I had nothing to lose. I was facing possible academic failure, possible death of my younger sister, and time away from Hogwarts. Maybe if I was injured, I would be confined to the hospital wing. Confined to Hogwarts. Protected and kept away from the cruel realities of life.

The willow swung forward again. I leapt out of the way just as the knob crashed down. The impact was so close it made the ground shudder.

The branches whipped around, furious. The willow was actually trying to hurt me! Giddy with the power of evasion, I dodged every blow. I was so caught up in my game that I didn't notice anyone coming.

"_AMBER!"_

Caught, I spun around, wand poised and ready. A shape hurtled across the grounds. "Get out of there, Amber! Run!"

"Oh!" I threw back my head and laughed, dodging another lethal branch. "Nice of you to join the fun, Remus!"

He was close enough now that I could see the faint scars on his face. "What are you doing?! RUN!"

Deaf to his fear, I danced with the angry willow, loving the control, relishing my own agility. "Don't be such a nun, Remus. I'm only having a little fun."

"Are you _mad?!" _Remus shouted. "You're going to get killed!"

"Nonsense!" I said cheerfully. "Just don't get hit and-"

One of the thin branches wrapped around my ankle. It threw me to the ground with such force that I lost my breath. I lay gasping for air on the ground, winded.  
"Amber!" Remus yelled. "MOVE!"

I couldn't breathe, let alone tell him off. I tried to stand, but I had dropped my wand. I felt around for it feebly, my head a little fuzzy.

There was a shadow over me, the moon's light unable to reach me. I glanced up, suddenly paralyzed with terror. The largest knob of the willow was coming straight for me.

My arms were yanked so hard I thought they'd been torn from their sockets. A second later the tree slammed into the ground with such force that it left a three-foot-deep indent in the earth. Still angrily snapping its tendrils, the willow creaked and moaned in frustration that I was still alive.

I was just beginning to catch my breath when Remus lit into me. "What were you _thinking_?" He demanded, tossing me my wand. "You almost just died, Amber!" He swore loudly and dragged a hand through his hair.

I stumbled to my feet, shaking hard with adrenaline and cold. "You hurt my arms." I said petulantly.

Remus stared at me, shocked. Then his face contorted with fury.

"You almost _died_, and you have the nerve to complain about your arms hurting?! I just saved your life for the second time!"

I rubbed my sore shoulders. "Well, I guess I owe you." I tried to down play how much that near-death experience had shaken me. But Remus didn't look fooled.

"How did you even get out here?!" He went on furiously. "It's past dark! The gates are locked!"

I lifted my chin a notch, defiant. "Really? Then how did _you _get out?"

Remus opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Then his green eyes narrowed. "I have special permission to be on the grounds after dark."

I barked out a laugh. "You are such a liar, Remus Lupin! You snuck out, just like I did!"

Remus only looked angrier. "I'm _not _a liar! Dumbledore said I could be here! Unlike you, I'm a responsible student! I don't go looking for trouble! You are _just _like James and Sirius!"

I stared at him, speechless. The willow creaked behind me, still clearly upset. "_What _did you just say to me?"

Remus didn't back down. "You are. All three of you… always going out, looking to push the envelope, get into trouble. And for what? Attention? Popularity? Feeling good?"

Hot tears of anger sprang to my eyes. "You have no idea who I am or why I do the things I do!" I shot back. "Did you think that _maybe _my life is just a little hard? Maybe I have to go out and do stuff, otherwise I'll go crazy!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Right. _You _have a bad, hard life. I'd love to hear the sob story, but you and I are going back to the castle. Right now. Before something else tries to kill you!"

I was too angry to ask him what his cryptic last sentence could have meant. I stormed after him, not because I wanted to obey him, but because I wasn't done yelling at him yet. "Now just wait a minute! What could possibly be wrong with _you_?! My sister is sick and _dying _and my own mother hates me, and you're the precious little class pet of Gryffindor who gets letters and gifts from Mommy and Daddy every week!"

I hadn't meant to reveal this much to him. I realized the words were out of my mouth and slammed the gates of my teeth down, trying to shut up the rest of my words before they escaped. My spoken words hung in the night air.

Remus was silent for a minute. "Your sister is sick?"

Great. He'd heard them, after all. I chewed on my lower lip hard, almost drawing blood. "Yes. I'm going home tomorrow to see her."

Remus said nothing, studying me. I wanted to look away from those intense eyes, but I was transfixed. Finally, he averted his gaze.

"I'm sick, too." He confessed. "I'll never get better. That's why Dumbledore lets me come out here."

His revelation was the very last thing I could have expected to come out of his mouth. Stunned, I could only gape at him. "What?" I finally managed.

Remus looked haunted. He shook his head. "It's incurable. That's all you need to know."

He was closing off a part of him that he never let anyone else see. For a moment I had felt like he had allowed me into an inner sanctum. Now I felt like he had changed his mind and locked the gates.

I studied the ground, feeling ashamed and bereft. And tired. So, so tired. So much sickness. So much death. And why had I just played with fire? Wasn't it hard enough on my family without having to deal with two hurt children instead of one?

"My sister… Virginia… she…" I shook my head. "This illness… it's very rare. She was born with it, and she'll have it for life. She gets treatment, but it comes and goes. She could live to be a hundred, or she could…"

Remus's eyes darkened. "You don't have to say any more. I get it. It's bad. Trust me… I know."

There was something else, something deeper, something malevolent inside of Remus. I frowned slightly. He was sick too. But something told me it was more sinister than that. He wasn't just ill. He was infested by something. Or someone. I shivered, but not because of the cold.

Remus sighed, withdrawing again. I could tell by the guarded look in his eyes. "Come on. It's late."

"I'm tired." I realized suddenly, my eyelids feeling heavy. The full weight of Virginia's serious illness was on my shoulders again, crushing me with its burden.

Remus looked concerned, but didn't ask again about my younger sister and her health. He and I cast another glance at the violent willow tree, still twisting and snapping its branches threateningly.

"Why do they even have a tree like that planted here?" I muttered as we made our way up the grassy slopes towards the castle. I had been right; half of the lights had been extinguished at this point.

Remus shrugged after a few moments of silence. "Who knows. Maybe to protect students."

"_Protect?" _I snorted. "Try maim. Or kill."

Remus went quiet. He looked paler than usual. The nearly full moonlight made him look whiter around the gills than normal.

"You need to get more sun." I half-joked as we neared the secret entrance I had taken.

Remus grimaced. "If only it were that easy. Sun, instead of moon."

"What are you talking about? Divination?" Already, I hated the subject. Something felt so nefarious and wicked about it, though I didn't know what.

"Sure." Remus said, pausing as we reached the copse where I had exited. The entrance to the tunnel was concealed behind a large juniper bush. He followed me hesitantly as I pulled out my wand. "_Lumos."_

Remus arched a brow. His scars were much fainter by wandlight than in the moonlight. "You know those kinds of spells already? That's a third year level."

I felt heat climb into my cheeks. "I like to read." I answered honestly. "And I like to learn."

Remus walked side by side with me. He was so quiet. What was he thinking?

"You're smart, Amber." Remus admitted. "Smarter than I'd like to admit."

I slid a sly glance his direction. "Only one of us can be the head of our year, Lupin."

He chuckled softly. "I think your friend Lily might overtake us both. Especially if you keep getting into trouble like this."  
"_Me?_" I said incredulously. "You're out here too! Sneaking around the grounds after dark!"

We had reached the end of the tunnel. I tapped the back of the painting. "Curse you." I said offhandedly.

"That's not very nice." Remus said, eyes sparkling with amusement. "I have special permission from Dumbledore. Remember?"

We climbed out of the tunnel as the painting sealed shut. "Well," I laughed, "it's a good thing only you know I was out tonight."

"If only that were the case." A rude voice drawled.

I turned sharply, wand out, pointing the bright tip right in the smirking faces of James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Busted." Black sang, and took off at a dead run down the dark corridor.


	9. Homecoming

Before I could even react, Remus whipped out his own wand. "_Expelliarmus!_"

The spell collided directly with Black. He somersaulted once in the air and collapsed in a heap on the ground. He was on his feet in an instant, his dark eyes hot with betrayal. "What was that for, Remus?!"

"Keep your voices down!" I hissed, but Potter looked smug. "Why?" He sneered. "Wouldn't want a teacher to come running to find you here? Outside of your bed after hours?"

"And don't you think you'd be punished too?" I snapped coldly, wand now pointing at him instead. "You're not in bed either, Potter, if you hadn't noticed."

He narrowed his hazel eyes at me furiously.

"All three of you, calm down." Remus reasoned, wand aimed at Black. "All four of us will be in deep trouble with McGonagall. Especially you two." He indicated at Black and Potter.

"What do you suggest we do about _her_?" Black growled, slinking closer. "She's been nothing but trouble since the train ride here."

"Her _and _Snivellus." Potter threw in disdainfully.

"You-" I began hotly, but Remus spoke in a cool, collected voice, overriding me. "Amber is on our side, guys. She's not the enemy here."

The three of us stared at him, open-mouthed with shock.

"She might be an arrogant pain in the arse, but she's smart. We need her brains."

"If you're suggesting I be friends with these _bullies_…" I let my words trail off, the meaning clear enough.

"We aren't too crazy about you either, fruitcake." Black retorted. He still looked wounded that his friend would have used a disarming charm on him.

"Tattletale." I shot back.

"Crybaby." Potter said arrogantly.

"Enough!" Remus commanded in his firm, quiet tone. "Like I said, you aren't the enemy."

"Then who is?" I demanded.

"McGonagall." Black said flatly.

"Snivellus." Potter added.

"No." Remus's face darkened. "The Dark Lord."

Silence met his words. I felt the blood draining from my face. It was clear from the scared expressions of Potter and Black that they felt the same terror I did whenever his name was mentioned.

"That's not funny, Remus." Potter said quietly.

"I'm not joking." Remus replied seriously. "He's on the move. He's not just a scare tactic. Or propaganda spread by conspiracists. This is the real deal."

"How do you know?" I said tremulously, but my mind flashed back to that article in the paper written by that editor named Backe, who had warned that Voldemort was on the rise.

Remus's nostrils flared, shutting his eyes tightly. "I just know." He said tightly. "My dad works in the Ministry. High up. He knows things. Things that I'm trusting none of you to say to anyone else."

I chewed my lower lip, having no intention of speaking of the Dark Lord to anyone, least of all people I loathed as much as Potter and Black.

"We should make a magic oath." Potter said suddenly. Black brightened and looked at me wolfishly, like I was a stray lamb he wanted to devour.

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"None of us knows magic that advanced yet." Remus reminded him. "Another time, maybe. But right now, let's just all agree that McGonagall doesn't need to know about this."

"Where _were _you two?" Black asked curiously. "Where does that tunnel lead? How did you get in?"

Remus glanced my way, as if asking for permission to speak. I gave my head a tiny shake.

"You'll have to ask Amber." Remus told Black, shrugging. "She's got it figured out, not me."

Two pairs of eyes zeroed in on me.

I felt hot against my collar. Just because Remus and I somewhat trusted each other did not mean I shared that same bond with these two meatheads. I raised my chin a notch regally. "It's a secret."

Both boys groaned loudly, earning a "shhh!" from me and Remus.

"Why not?" Black complained.

"You owe us!" Potter persisted.

"I don't owe you anything." I said coolly. "You two owe me an apology for all of the times you've picked on me, if anything."

"She's got a point." Remus agreed.

"You little Judas!" Black accused.

"We'll figure it out ourselves." Potter huffed haughtily. "We don't need your help. Especially a _girl's _help."

All of the faint, albeit real, feelings of unity with Potter was suddenly broken. I saw him again for what he really was: A spoiled brat who had a mean streak that I could never beat out of him. At least, not yet.

"Fine." I replied calmly, barely reigning in my hot temper. "Just go to bed. And if you say a word of this to McGonagall or anyone, I'll turn your hair pink."

Black and Potter laughed. "As if you could."

I smirked. "You'd be surprised of what I'm capable of."

They two boys exchanged a look. "You don't know who you're dealing with, then." Potter said airily.

"I'm sure I'll find out what you're made of." I turned away, walking back towards Ravenclaw Tower. "Worms."

"She saved Peter's life." Remus said quietly. "Today. When he fell from the stairs."

I turned slightly, staring straight at Potter and Black, who looked like deflated balloons. For whatever reason, they looked ashamed. Guilty.

"Good to know." Potter managed.

"Glad I was there to help." I said simply. I gave the two a narrow-eyed gaze. I found a smile for Remus. "Good night, boys. I'm glad we came to this little 'arrangement'."

Only Remus wished me well. Potter and Black didn't say anything at all. I smirked as I walked away. In the morning, they would begin to understand what the term "taste of your own medicine" meant. I was sure of it.

(later that day...)

The Hogwarts Express rattled as it sped down the tracks the following afternoon. It had been only twenty minutes since we departed the station, but I already felt like I was a million and a half miles from the castle. At breakfast, Lily had given me a tearful hug goodbye and promised to write me an owl every other day while I was gone. Remus agreed to tutor me when I came back if I needed the help. I reminded him that I was apparently at the third year's level. That remark had earned me a small smirk and a farewell. Potter and Black had been strangely absent from breakfast or lunch and classtime.

Now, Lila Habenstarf sat in the compartment with me, nose-deep in a Potions book. She wore a blue-and-black striped scarf around her neck to keep her warm. It was nearing Thanksgiving, and it was getting colder. The first snows had dusted the grounds and melted. More would inevitably arrive.

I tried to lose myself in a book the way Lila had, but my thoughts kept running back to Hogwarts. Namely, the three troublesome Gryffindor boys and Lily. Severus hung about her like a shadow, hardly ever saying a word to me. He was like a ghost, and as far as I knew, only ever spoke to Lily. When he looked at me, his dark obsidian eyes were flat, black and unreadable. I wondered what kinds of things he had gone through to make him so hard already.

Part of me wondered if it had anything to do with Potter or Black.

Or worse… if it had anything to do with me.

The train bumped along down the frozen railways. Lila never looked up from her reading. I glimpsed the title, _Advanced Potions Making, Grade 7. _

Potions was hard enough in Grade 1. It was fun in the first weeks when I made things blow up, but then it had become painful and embarrassing, especially since I was the only one who managed to mess up so badly in the class. Professor Slughorn had asked me to wear protective gloves and a mask at all times to keep my eyebrows from burning off. Lily, my partner, was always able to salvage our projects. I had reluctantly let her take over the actual potion making while I read off ingredients and the processes.

I dug out my Charms textbook and flipped through the pages. I'd read through it more times than I could remember. Unlike Potions and Divination, Charms came more easily to me than anything. While I managed well through my other classes, Charms was second nature. Every charm I practiced took no more than an hour before I had mastered it. I had wanted to check out Grade 3 from the library, but all copies had been taken out by actual third year students.

I wondered how my sisters were faring. If Mother would be as harsh with me as she usually was. If Dad would say or do anything about it.

I wondered if this visit would be my last to Virginia.

I shut my eyes tightly. They felt hot and grainy. I couldn't allow myself to cry. If I did, I knew I would never stop.

I thought of anything besides the brevity of the illness my younger sister faced. I thought of breakfast, when McGonagall had approached me to make sure I understood I was indeed leaving Hogwarts that day. Instead of traveling to London like McGonagall had thought, the train was instead going to take me straight to Bellinghall Train Station, which was just a few miles from Fort William. Bellinghall was situated in the Glen Nevis Valley, nestled away from the prying eyes of Muggles and mountaineers.

When McGonagall had discovered that I lived only seventy miles from Hogwarts, she had been surprised and pleased. "That means you'll have much less distance to travel." London was over five hundred miles away from the school.

McGonagall also hailed from Scotland. Though she had never specified which part she was from.

The train lurched again, popping my eyes open. The Grampian Mountains rose like green castles around the train, beautiful and majestic and terrifying all at the same time. I wondered if any dragons hunted in those trees and slopes.

Lila Habenstarf was too deeply engrossed her reading to say anything to me. The minutes ticked by in silence. The train rolled on through the valleys, cutting through the towering peaks of the slopes until it finally reached its destination.

"This is your stop." Lila said, shutting her book with a soft clap and stowing it back into her bag. Throat suddenly tight with anxiety, I nodded once and pocketed my wand. A moment later I was holding it again, squeezing it nervously.

I followed Lila off of the train onto the platform. Cold November air bit into my face as I squinted into the wind, trying to glimpse my family. I let go of my suitcase for a moment to wrap my scarf around my nose, which already felt numb with cold.

"I don't see them." Lila said, sounding slightly concerned. "Are you sure they knew you were coming?"

"Yeah." I responded bleakly. "They knew."

Lila waited with me in the increasing cold as the sun sank lower in the overcast sky. After twenty minutes, she was shaking with cold.

I knew in the pit of my stomach they had forgotten me.

"Maybe there's been a mistake." Lila said, uneasy.

I spotted an older gentleman sitting by himself in a café across the street. Feigning relief, I gave Lila a smile. "That's my dad right there. See him? In the window over there in the St. Bride Café?"

Lila narrowed her eyes, squinting into the wind. I could tell she was freezing and wanted nothing more than to get back on the warm train and back to the castle. "That man? Where's your mum?"

"Taking care of Virginia. My sister." I said easily as I started towards the café. At least that wasn't a lie.

Lila didn't look completely convinced. "I should walk you over."

I shook my head, the wind picking up and blowing my long, troublesome hair around my face. I plucked a few strands out of my mouth. "Don't be silly. You're cold enough. I'm already home. Just go on back to the castle. You've waited long enough."

Lila hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." At the moment, I just wanted to be less of an inconvenience to her. She had already taken me this far.

Lila heaved a sigh, her shoulders sagging, and I knew I'd won. She nodded once, more to herself than to me. "Right. Well, have a nice holiday. See you soon at school?"

"Definitely." I gave her another smile, the wind so cold and harsh that it made my eyes stream. Lila waved and clambered back onto the Hogwarts Express. Steeling myself against the cold, I walked inside of the café, the little bell on the door chiming pleasantly. It was mostly empty, with a young couple having dessert a table, a lone man sitting at the bar, and the stranger with his tea near the window, reading the newspaper.

I waved at Lila from inside of the café, unsure if she could see me. But she waved back. A moment later, the train lurched back towards the castle. It picked up momentum, and in less than a minute, it was gone.

I fought the hard lump forming in my throat. I sat down at a table near the man I had claimed as my father and pleated my skirt. I waited for a half hour before giving up completely on the fact that my parents would come for me.

The man never even looked up from his paper.

It was dusk when I finally reached our farm. It wasn't far from the train station, only a mile, but the short November sun made the walk feel much farther than it normally would have. My fingers were red and completely numb, and my nose was so stuffed that I had to breathe through my mouth, drawing in bitterly cold air in through my opened jaws. Romulus was the first to greet me. I could hear his excited barking just before I unlatched the gate and let myself into the familiar property. When I had left for school, the leaves had been faintly blushing with the colors of autumn. Now, they lay dead and decaying over the brown grass. The oppressive wind scattered them, their crunch and rattle like that of dry bones.

Romulus raced to me and pushed his cold snout into my palm. I itched behind his ears, grateful that at least someone was happy to see me.

The lights were on in the house. My family was home.

The dull ache came back, along with a faint pounding in my ears. A war drum. Anger and rage filled me as I pushed open the front door and walked into the warm farmhouse.

No one was downstairs.

I let Romulus in and let the door slam loudly behind me. No one said a word. No one came downstairs or into the room. No one at all.

I felt a flicker of hope and homecoming when I heard a frantic scrabbling noise. That hope was quickly extinguished when a little brown mouse scrambled across the living room floor, the barn cat hurtling after it.

Furious and humiliated at the same time, I began to lug my suitcase up the narrow staircase, but stopped midway and pointed my wand straight at the luggage. "_Leve pondus." _

Rules be damned. No one cared about me anyway.

The suitcase now weighed as much as a sheet of paper. I lifted it easily up the rest of the flight and carried it into my room. It was cold and dank and dusty had a strong feeling of neglect and disuse.

I turned on a lamp and set my suitcase onto my bed. I surveyed my room, which was just as I'd left it months ago on my first day of school. I shed my traveling cloak and found my old pair of mocassins I'd left behind. I slipped my numb feet inside of the soft folds and padded around the seemingly empty house. Was anyone home at all?

A quick appraisal revealed that I was alone, except for my pets.

Drowning in my own self-pity, I wandered into the kitchen and put a kettle of tea on the boil. While I waited, I helped myself to a single chocolate chip cookie. It was quite stale, but my gnawing hunger supplemented flavor for need. When the kettle screamed, I poured a mug of green tea and added a slice of peach from the fridge. I settled myself in front of the fireplace, which was just smoldering embers, and wished I could be anywhere but home.

The front door opened at nine that night, hours after I'd arrived. Dad bustled in with a very sleepy-looking Naomi just behind him.

Dad started slightly when he saw me reading by the fire. "Amber!" He looked pleased, but very tired. Those bruises under his eyes hadn't been as pronounced the last time I'd seen him.

"Hi, Dad." I said quietly, both words laced with venom. He frowned. "What's going on?"

Naomi plodded over to me, her normally energetic demeanor replaced by an aura of sorrow and fatigue. I gave her a small hug, pinning Dad with an accusatory stare. "You tell me."

Dad looked affronted. "Mind your tongue, young lady."

The name grated on my frayed nerves. Naomi pushed her way next to me, wrapping an afghan around her small shoulders. She had definitely grown since I'd last seen her.

"I guess I'm just a little cold from my walk home from the train station." I spat, feeling every ounce of resentment at being forgotten _again _rising inside of me like vomit. "It was great waiting for my family when they never showed."

Dad's face paled with shock. "Your mum never picked you up?"

I rolled my eyes. "Was she supposed to?"

Dad looked angry, but I could tell his feelings weren't directed at me. A muscle jerked in his teeth, and his green eyes – Naomi's eyes – bored into the fireplace. The hot red cinders reflected in them. "How long did you wait for?"

"About an hour." I watched his face for a reaction. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. He pulled his black hat off of his pale blonde hair, chewing his lip.

"Where's Virginia?" I asked when he remained standing and silent.

Naomi gave a small whimper. Dad closed his eyes in pain.

My stomach tightened. The blood in my veins turned to ice. I could feel my heart slowing to a stop. "Is she… she's not…"

"She's at St. Mungo's." Dad told me. "Your mother is with her."

"She's never home." Naomi admitted dully. "She's always there."

The fear was replaced by mounting fury. I felt like a volcano, my hatred and rage towards my mother the hot lava boiling just below the surface. I knew if I saw her cursed face now, I would explode and burn this house down to ashes around us.

"We will go see your sister tomorrow." Dad said. "Girls, get ready for bed. We've all had a long day."

Naomi, who would usually balk at his decision, instead uncharacteristically trudged up the stairs. She looked miserable.

I fixed Dad with another stare. "Why did you ask me to come home?"

Dad ran a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. I noticed for the first time the graying at his temples.

"Your sister needs you." He said simply. "Now, please, Amber. Go to bed."

Feeling rejected all over again, I left my tea cup on the coffee table and followed after Naomi. She had brushed her teeth and was pulling on her pajamas when I entered her bedroom.

She spared me a glance and then went back to dressing. She slipped into her bed. I tucked the covers in around her to ward off the late autumn chill. She watched me with those sad green eyes.

"Amber?" She said quietly. "I'm glad you're home. I missed you."

The anger evaporated in a rush of sorrow for my youngest sister. At six years old, she should be careful and playing about in the fallen leaves. She should have had a carefree life full of playing and joy. Instead, she had been saddled with a burden much too heavy for such a little girl.

I bent forward and hugged her. Naomi clung to me tightly. My heart broke for her.

"Amber?" She mumbled quietly into my shirt. "Can you read me a story?"

She hadn't asked me to do that since she was three years old.

I nodded, swallowing against that lump in my throat. "Give me a second. I'll go and fetch a nice book." Something happy. Something cheerful. Anything but reality.

I selected a favorite of Dad's mum. She was a Muggle and had never treated us differently because we were magic folk. She often read this particular book to me when I was a girl, when Virginia was just a baby and I was a toddler.

I climbed into Naomi's small bed, and she immediately nestled into my side. I felt another stab of pain. How starved for attention was she? Had I never realized how much of a presence I had been to her when I lived her? Was Naomi off the radar when it was just Dad, Mum, and Virginia? When was the last time anyone had bothered to ask her how _Naomi_ felt? When was the last time someone had admired her finger paintings or taken her down the creek to feed the turtles?

My heart ached for my little sister. I was glad I was home. Even if it was just to be with her so that she didn't have to be alone anymore.

"_Green Eggs and Ham, _by Dr. Seuss." I began. I read the book aloud, becoming more animated with each page. When I finished, Naomi requested that I read it again. "Just once more, Amber." She mumbled, half-asleep. I obliged.

She was asleep by the eighth page, but I finished the story for a second time. I sat there with her for awhile, listening to her deep breathing and staring out the dark windowpane. I could hardly fathom the fact that there was no lake sprawled below the house, that I was only twenty feet up instead of twenty stories. There would be no classes in the morning. Just the disaster that my family had become.

I longed for someone to talk to. I craved Lily's company and her listening heart.

I even missed Remus and his quiet, cold demeanor.

Eventually, I untangled myself from my youngest sister, making sure she was comfortable when I left her. I kept her door open ajar so if she awoke during the night, the darkness would be sliced clean through by a shaft of light. Naomi still feared it.

I had just changed into my pajamas, bracing myself for a long sleepless night, when there was a soft knock on my door. I opened it, expecting a sleepy Naomi, but instead faced my father.

I met his gaze steadily, undaunted by the lines around his eyes or the quiet pleading in his eyes. He was growing a beard for winter, grizzled through with gray. He let out a long, gusty sigh.

"I'm sorry you were left at the train station, Amber. I really am. I would have come home from work to pick you up."

"It doesn't matter, Dad." I answered bleakly. "I'm here." How could I be angry with Dad? He worked himself to the bone trying to provide for his family. And now, with Virginia's mounting medical expenses… I shut my eyes, unwilling and unable to contemplate what kind of strain that put onto my father's shoulders.

Dad reached out and put a large, calloused hand on my shoulder. "Tomorrow I'll have breakfast cooked up for you and Naomi. Then we'll go to the hospital and visit Virginia."

"Sounds wonderful."

Dad half-smiled. "I can't tell if you're being serious or sarcastic, love."

I shrugged. "Maybe I'm both."

Dad gave a soft chuckle. "What kinds of things are they teaching you at Hogwarts? Clearly not manners."

I felt heat climb into my face. Ashamed, I tried to backpedal. "I didn't-"  
Dad held up a hand for silence. "It's alright, Amber. I was just teasing."

My shoulders drooped. "Oh."

Dad searched my face intently. "I love you, Amber. Don't ever think otherwise."

I couldn't raise my head to look at him. If I did, the tears would come, and I doubted I could stop them. So instead I nodded once and chewed my lower lip.

Dad reached to pull me into a hug, but was stopped short by the sound of a softly shutting door. Heeled boots clacked against the hardwood floors.

My heart burst into a full-out gallop. The anger flared up, as hot and deadly as a geyser of lava.

Dad's eyes changed. He glanced down the stairs. He looked hesitant, but asked quietly, "Amber… Would you like to see your mother?"

He wanted me to reconcile with her. To see _her _after she'd forgotten _me _at the train station. He wanted me to go to _her._

I stared at Dad. Then I let my bedroom door shut in his face and on his request.


	10. Recovery

Just as I had predicted, it was a long, sleepless night. I watched the moon eclipse the tops of the bare trees, before it disappeared behind the shroud of thin gray clouds. I wondered how it was possible to hate your own flesh and blood, your mother, with the level of passion that I did.

As much as I tried to think of anything but my mother, my thoughts kept running back to her. I kept thinking of the audacity she had to come waltzing into the house hours after she was due to pick me up from the train station. I wondered how she could live with herself, devoting herself wholly to one child but completely forsaking the other two. I was so angry that I could taste metal in my mouth. A part of me wanted to storm down the stairs and challenge my own mother to a duel, but the rational part warned me that if I did, she would really forsake me and send me away to Hogwarts forever. And that would mean never seeing Naomi until she was at the school herself. Which would be a staggering five years from now.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to banish the clinging thoughts. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyeballs until little spots of color popped and swirled in my vision. How was it possible for my life to become such a nightmare so quickly?

I jumped when I heard a quiet clicking against my windowpane. At first, I thought it was just the dry, barren tree branches scraping against the glass, but when I pointed my lit wand tip at the noise, I had to stifle a scream. It was Soren, furiously scratching the glass with his yellow feet. Clenched in his pale beak was a sealed envelope.

I threw open the window, which protested with shrill squeaks from long months of remaining shut. The barn owl fluttered in, perching himself on the top of my desk chair. He ruffled his feathers, trying to shake off the November chill. I struggled to close the window again, giving up when it was just a quarter inch from the sill. A good, stiff breeze would help chase away the thick cloud of dust and disuse that had accumulated in my vacant bedroom over the past months.

I took the letter from Soren's beak, scanning the face of the envelope. AMBER HARKSTONE, BELLINGHALL, SCOTLAND it read in carefully written calligraphy. Frowning, I tore open the letter. Soren hooted pitifully. I offered him a piece of stale cracker on my desk. My owl looked offended, but took the cracker and messily devoured it over my floor.

Ignoring his lack of manners, I pulled the paper free from the envelope and paced around my room while I read.

Amber,

You won't believe what happened this evening at dinner. James Potter and Sirius Black didn't come down for mealtimes twice, but they eventually came down for dinner. I suppose boys need to eat a lot of food. Remus said he didn't know what had happened to them. But I do.

They came down to the table and sat next to Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. He is doing much better, by the way. He is almost completely healed. Madam Pomfrey is a genius.

But here is the incredible thing: Potter and Black sat down at the table like it was just a normal day. They ate their food and acted like nothing was wrong. But Amber, their hair. Both of them had hot pink hair, the color of cotton candy.

It worked.

Hoping you and your sister are doing well. Please write me as often as you want. I miss you and I can't wait to see you again.

Love, Lily

I reread the letter several more times. The hex that Lily and I had found in that magazine… it had worked. Potter and Black were now blessed with pink hair.

Smirking in malicious pleasure, I sat down at my desk and whipped out a piece of parchment. I quickly scrawled out a reply to Lily, my fingers flying over the paper.

_Lily,_

_ Perhaps we should look inside of Witch Weekly for a counter curse to their plight. We could always let them enjoy their new hairstyles for a few days until they've learned some humility and manners._

I paused, thinking of Virginia. Of my mother. I wondered how much Lily needed to know. Or wanted to know.

It was better to keep the disease quarantined.

I put the pen back to the parchment.

_How is Severus doing? I hope to be in Hogwarts soon. A week tops, I bet. Please give Soren a good treat for me. I feel bad that all I had for him was an old cracker. _

_ Love, Amber_

I folded the letter and slipped it into a fresh envelope. I scribbled down her name and address and presented it to Soren. "I need you to bring this to Lily Evans. The nice girl with red hair. She feeds you some of her meals, remember?"

Soren blinked slowly. He glanced outside, ruffled his feathers rudely, and turned his back on me.

I put my hands on my hips. "Fine. I get it. You don't want to fly in the cold, do you?"

Soren gave a quiet hoot.

Sighing, I left the letter on the desk. "Very well. Just make sure you bring it tomorrow morning first thing. Lazy bird." I stroked his back, the soft feathers like silk against fingers. Soren didn't seem to mind.

After a few minutes, I sat back on my bed and pulled out my _Potions, Grade I _textbook. I tried to focus on the words and the equations, but it was too much math. My temples began to throb. Closing my eyes, I closed the fat textbook and pulled out the _Charms _textbook instead. When I was tired of rereading the same information I'd long ago absorbed, I picked up a blank notebook from my bookshelf and began to illustrate the hidden tunnel I had discovered near the Ravenclaw Tower.

I bit my lip, my hands stilling. What if someone found this map? What if they knew what it was? A person like Black or Potter would undoubtedly turn it over to McGonagall or Filch for brownie points.

I remembered that I was miles from Hogwarts, back in my old room. "I'll simply leave it here before I return to school." I decided aloud, resuming my drawing. I traced the halls and a basic floor map of the castle, the parts that I knew. When I couldn't remember the rest of it, I opened _Hogwarts, A History _and copied down the map already drawn inside the pages.

* * *

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until my eyes snapped open. Faint gray dawn light filtered in from the dusty windows. I rubbed my eyes, gritty and heavy, the room slowly coming into focus. Soren was asleep on the back of the chair, his head tucked under his wings. The drawing I had been working on was slightly smudged from when my hands had moved during my sleep. I set it down carefully on the floor and tried to gather my bearings. I was still tired but was too restless to sleep again. Resigning myself to a rotten day, I woke my owl, who nipped my finger in annoyance. "Take this to Lily." I reminded him, cracking open the window. Soren looked mutinous, but plucked up the letter and sailed out of my room. I shut the window and quietly headed into the kitchen.

The entire house was still asleep. I had it all to myself, once again.

I set a pot of coffee to brew while I prepared myself another cup of tea. I wasn't hungry, but I knew Dad was exhausted and was in no way capable of making breakfast before he'd had at least two cups of coffee. I pulled out a carton of eggs from our henhouse and found a roll of pale bread. I thought of how ridiculous Potter and Black must look with their hot pink hairdos, clashing against their black robes and matching their lively personalities. I wondered what kinds of things McGonagall was doing to try and restore their hair back to their natural dark colors.

I cracked an egg over the frying pan and watched it bubble and boil over the medium heat. The sun-colored yolk rose like a hill from the whites. I flipped it over carefully with a spatula, to keep it from breaking. Pan-poached eggs were my favorite. Especially with toasted bread to dip in.

The coffee smelled wonderful as I slipped my egg onto the plate. I buttered the freshly toasted bread and poured myself a cup of the fragrant dark roast. Tea wouldn't perk me up the way coffee could.

"Did you bother making a plate for me?"

My stomach soured in an instant. I kept my back turned to her, afraid of what I would do if I saw her haughty, entitled face. Afraid of what kinds of things I was capable of. Like taunting a murderous willow tree.

I heard that awful, cringe-worthy sigh. "After all that I've done for you, and the least you could do is cook me breakfast. But here you are. Empty-handed as usual. And to think we're spending over four thousand Galleons to send you there. Just for this year. Imagine how those expenses could be used for your sister."

I slammed down my mug of coffee so hard it smashed against the counter. Shards of broken ceramic clattered against the floor. Hot coffee splashed everywhere, but I was so furious I didn't notice. I whirled around to face my mother, wanting to slap her across the face.

She narrowed her blue eyes at me, pretentious to the core. Every inch of her was drawn up. She was looking down at me as if I was some kind of pest she wanted eradicated. Immediately.

"If you want me to leave so badly, why did you write that letter asking me to come home?" I said with as much control as I could muster.

She raised a thin brow. "That letter was from your father. Not me."

I thought I wouldn't care what she said. But her words hurt so much that my eyes smarted. Part of me wanted to cry out, "_Don't you love me, Mum? I'm your child too!"_ but instead I glared at her with as much loathing as I could direct.

My mother lifted her chin a notch. Daring me to say something. Anything.

"How's Virginia?" I ground out, feeling like I was choking on broken glass. _God, God! Why do things have to be this way between me and my mother?_

Mum looked surprised. Then her expression hardened again. "Sick. She's at the hospital."

"I guess I'd better get ready to go see her. Let me go put on my black dress and we can head over to her funeral."

I hadn't meant to say those words. I hadn't even known where they came from. Mum slapped me so hard I tasted blood. She shoved me against the counter. I stepped on broken mug with my bare feet, but it didn't hurt as much as the slap had. I stared at her, feeling my cheek already swelling.

"You will never be _half _the daughter she is." Mum hissed, her face right in mine. "I'm sorry she's the one who is sick."

I drew back, staring at her, wide-eyed, hurt beyond what I thought possible. "You don't mean that." I whispered.

Mum turned on her heel and grabbed her coat. She left the house before I could say another word.

I stared down at the coffee and the broken cup on the kitchen floor. Red was swirling in the pale brown coffee. I realized it was my own blood. Shaking hard, I hobbled carefully to the bathroom and numbly pulled down the first aid kit. I slapped a bandage over my wound and walked back into the kitchen. Dad stood at the foot of the stairs, rubbing his face wearily.

"What was that crash?" He asked, groping for his glasses.

"Nothing." I said, my voice thin but not cracking. I bent and picked up broken shards and tossed them into the garbage can. "I dropped a mug."

Dad frowned. "Did you cook breakfast?"

Oh, right. Breakfast. It sat cooling, forgotten near the stove. I nodded once and handed the plate to him. "Here. For you." My stomach was so knotted that I couldn't eat even if a feast presented itself before me. I wanted to throw up, to scream, to cry, to lose control, but it was as if a dam cemented my feelings inside of me. I patted paper towels down over the spilled coffee and poured him a fresh mug.

Dad watched me. "Where's your mother?"

I tossed the dirty towels into the trash. I let the cabinet door slam a little too hard. "She went to St. Mungo's." _After we had words. _

Dad sighed heavily. "She left without saying anything?"

I shrugged. The side of my face where she had hit me burned and stung. "I'm going to take a shower."

Dad tucked into his breakfast as I trudged back up the stairs. In the bathroom, I turned the water on full-blast. I kept it at the lowest temperature. I gasped in shock as I stepped under the freezing torrent, but forced myself to stay in the brutal water until my teeth chattered and my face and entire body were numb. My hands shook with cold as I shut off the faucet. I toweled off and noticed my purple lips and pink face. I looked like a drowning victim.

_Better I was the sick and dying one. _I thought as I reached up to touch a damp lock of my hair, which was dark blonde, almost brown, from being wet. The cold water had prevented my cheek from swelling too much. It would be as if it never happened.

But there it was, very faintly, almost invisible. My mother's handprint staining my cheek. Her rejected was five-fingered.

Turning my back on my own reflection, I left to dress for my hospital visit. I made sure to dress in black, just to spite my mother.

Once Dad and Naomi had eaten and dressed, we took a Portkey to St. Mungo's Hospital. I could tell they had been here many times recently by the almost automatic way they walked into the building and spoke with the healers on a first-name basis.

I knew I looked a fright. I hadn't combed my hair or done anything to conceal the dark circles under my eyes. I didn't try to stand up straight or look presentable. I didn't care. I felt like death. I wanted to look like it too.

I followed Dad down a long hallway into a room decorated with flowers and toys. It felt more like a garden than a hospital room. Hydrangeas, roses, rhododendrons, larkspur, baby's breath, violets, and sunflowers stained the room with bright and lively color and filled it with the wonderful scent of life and health. A pot of peace lilies was placed close to Virginia's bedside. I smiled wistfully and thought of my dear friend, miles away from the wreckage of my family.

Virginia lay propped up on several pillows. She was staring out of the picture window. The skies were bleak and gray. Tall, dark buildings rose into the air. Black smoke poured from the tops of rusty chimneys. I could smell the acrid tang of pollution and humanity. We were in London.

"Virginia," Dad said softly, "Look who came to visit you."

My younger sister turned her head feebly to look at me. I barely stifled a gasp of horror. In just two months, Virginia had lost even more weight. I could see her cheekbones jutting out of her thin, wan face. Her collarbone and ribs protruded from her paper-thin skin. Her sky-blue eyes seemed too big for her sallow face. Her hair was pixie-thin and pale like snow. Like death.

She took in a ragged breath, her white, cracked lips breaking into a faint smile. "Amber."

All of my problems with Mum vanished in a flood of concern for my younger sister. I forgot my anger at the unfairness of how Naomi and I were cast aside because of Virginia. No, that was wrong. It wasn't because of Virginia. It was because of this horrible, evil, nameless disease that was slowly eating her alive.

I moved to her bedside, grasping her tiny hand in mine. She was so cold. Colder than my morning shower. Her bones were fragile, like a small bird's. Her eyes connected with mine, still clear and sane.

"You look like death." Virginia laughed softly.

I blushed, feeling ashamed. "I know."

"Amber's tired." Naomi piped up.

Virginia moaned softly. "I am too."

Dad cleared his throat. Tears stood in his eyes. I saw my mother sweep into the room, but before she could utter a sound, Dad took her by the arm and gently led her out of the room, closing the door behind him. Us sisters were left alone together.

Virginia squeezed my hand, surprisingly tight for her weakened state. "What's wrong?"

I held my breath. Virginia, as innocent as she was, had a keen and uncanny ability to sense the truth in all things. I could never hide anything from her.

I let out a long sigh. "Mum."

Virginia nodded sagely. "Mum."

"She's sad." Naomi said, eyes downcast.

"We all are." I said thickly. I couldn't look at Virginia when she looked like this. Looked so dead.

Virginia tugged on my hand. "Listen to me, Amber. I don't want you all to act like I'm dead already."

"You look so sick." I confessed, trying hard not to lose complete control of Naomi. It would only frighten her.

My sick sister regarded me with those old eyes. Eyes that matched my maternal grandmother's exactly. Even the red capillaries were a perfect copy. "Amber. Celebrate my life. Please. I feel like you're all waiting for me to die."

Naomi made a muffled cry. Her head was buried in the blankets. Her shoulders trembled.

"We just…" I didn't know what to say. Words could hardly convey what I was feeling. What we were all feeling.

Virginia tugged on a piece of my now-dry hair. "It's getting long and wild. You look like a lion with all of that hair."

Naomi picked her tear-streaked face up. She sniffled. "She's a Ravenclaw."

Virginia's eyes widened. "What did Mum and Dad have to say about that?"

I gave a half-laugh, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "I have a lot to say about being a Ravenclaw."

Virginia's eyes sparkled, the first real signs of life I'd seen in them for a long time. "Tell me."

I sat down in the chair beside her bed and held her hand in mine. I could feel her pulse, weak, but it was there. Naomi climbed on the bed and nestled next to Virginia as I told my sisters everything that had happened to me since the very first day of school at Hogwarts.

"This Remus boy sounds cute." Virginia teased as I finished telling them of my life as a Hogwarts student. "I think he likes you."

Confusion was quickly followed by a wave of embarrassment. "I hardly know him. And we're just first years!"

She smirked wickedly. "You won't be first years forever."

"Boys are gross!" Naomi squealed, making us both laugh.

"I agree." I told Naomi. "I'll never get married. I'll become a writer and the three of us will live by the beach in a cottage and have thirty cats."

"Oh, no." Virginia giggled. "We'll need flowers too."

"And cupcakes!" Naomi threw in.

Dad came back in, pale and strained. When he saw us laughing together, the stress melted off of his tired face. "Would you ladies like me to bring in lunch?"

My stomach growled. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. Missing breakfast had taken a toll after all.

"Yes, please." Naomi begged.

Virginia grimaced briefly. "I think I have an appointment with a healer first, Dad."

"Would you like me to send your mother in?" Dad offered.

I looked away. Virginia noticed.

"That's all right, Dad. I can handle it."

Dad didn't look convinced, but he didn't argue. Naomi and I followed him out into the lobby and down to the cafeteria while a healer replaced us.

"She's looking better already." Dad said as he ordered lunch for us. "She's got some color in her cheeks."

"I love those flowers." Naomi chattered. "I want lots of flowers in my room too, Daddy."

"You will, come spring." Dad promised, handing us each a tray of food. We ate at a table, listening to Naomi regale us with tales of how she was going to grow a garden in the spring and cast a spell on them so that they never died.

"I'll call it the Virginia's Victory Garden." Naomi vowed, finishing her pumpkin pasty. "For when she comes home."

I watched Dad give Naomi a half-smile. "That's a great idea, pumpkin."

For the first time, Dad sounded like he had hope my sister would get better.

* * *

We visited Virginia every day for a week. Then another. Each time, she got better. I started bringing my accumulating homework so that Virginia could see that school was not the paradise she thought it was.

But she was delighted with the schoolwork and begged with me to let her help with the problems and the reading. So I did. She devoted herself wholeheartedly to studying and assisting me. Soon, my homework wasn't as much of a problem as a pastime, and then a hobby. Virginia was addicted to it, and she loved it. Soren brought me a letter daily from Lily, which I sometimes read to Virginia and Naomi in the hospital room. I wrote back to every letter.

Mum and I didn't speak. We avoided each other and pretended the other was there. Dad knew something was wrong, but neither of us would talk about it. Naomi and Virginia were oblivious to the tension and instead relished in the fact that I was a bona fide Hogwarts student.

"Show us some magic!" Naomi begged during the third week of hospital visits. Virginia put down my Charms textbook, looking amused. She had magic performed on her daily. But Naomi was like a budding sapling, and magic was water to her. She was drawn to it.

"I'm not supposed to do magic outside of school." I reminded her, but I was already pulling out my ash wand, which I never left out of my reach. I pointed my wand to the trash can at the end of the bed. "_Incendio."_

The litter burst into flames.

Naomi squealed and clapped. Virginia just smiled. She was gaining weight and her lips were soft and pink once again. Her skin no longer stretched taut over her bones. She was still underweight, but she no longer looked like a living skeleton. Even her hair was shinier and fuller.

"Do another one!" Naomi pleaded. "Please!"

"Don't get her into trouble." Virginia chided. Naomi gave her an annoyed glance.

"I can do another one." I said airily, loving the feel of magic flowing from my wand. It had been too long since I was in class, practicing magic at will and learning new techniques. It felt good to hone my magical skills.

I picked up Virginia's glass of water. I threw the water in the air, whipping out my wand and yelling, "_Glacius!"_

The falling water instantly turned to snow. It drifted to the floor in soft white flakes. Naomi was over the moon.

She clapped and cheered. "Do another one! Another one!"

Virginia smiled mischeiviously. "That wasn't in the Charms book, Amber."

I gave her a sheepish grin. "That's because it's in the Third Year's Charms textbook."

Virginia's eyes widened. "No way."

I tried not to feel proud, but I did. "I just like charms."

Virginia looked pleased. "I guess I have a lot to live up to next year."

Naomi smiled hugely at both of us. "Are you going to be a Ravenclaw too, Virginia?"

She smiled fondly. "I think I'll be a Hufflepuff."

"Excuse me?"

The three of us turned. Standing in the doorway was a healer. She was staring disapprovingly at my wand. I hastily stowed it back in my sweater.

"Where are your parents?" She sighed.

"At lunch." Virginia answered calmly. "What's wrong, Ameena?"

Ameena moved over to the bed, hands on her hips. "Nothing's wrong. We just need you to vacate the bed immediately. The entire room, really."

Virginia shot me an alarmed look. "What?"

Ameena nodded offhandedly, sniffing one of the pots of daises. "Yes. You need to be out today."

I rose to my feet uneasily. "Is this because of money? Are we… is she being evicted?"  
Ameena frowned. "Of course not."

Virginia looked uneasy. "Then why am I being kicked out?"

Ameena laughed and gave us a warm smile. "You're not being kicked out, dear one. You're being discharged. You're well enough to go home."

* * *

Mum and Dad had the flowers taken home and placed in Virginia's bedroom before we left the hospital for good. Virginia looked like the picture of health. Her face was glowing with happiness and relief. Even Mum looked genuinely content.

"I guess this means you'll need to go back to Hogwarts." Virginia said as we walked in tandem to the Portkey. Naomi tagged along after us, humming off-key to a song only she knew.

I shrugged. "I don't think so. It's almost Christmas. Next week, all of the kids will be going home for holiday."

Virginia's eyes widened. "Really?"

I nodded. "It must be almost Christmas." It didn't feel like it. The time I had spent with my sisters had felt like time had stopped. That the hours we had all spent together in Virginia's hospital room suspended us from reality while my sister slowly but strongly recovered from her serious bout with her illness.

Virginia touched a poinsettia plant on the desk of a healer as we neared the Portkey. Tinsel and garlands hung from the rafters and Christmas music played over the PA system. Outside, snow had fallen and remained on the ground.

"We need to get a Christmas tree." Virginia mused as Naomi pushed her way between us and held onto one of our hands. Her innocent joy was contagious, and I found myself quietly singing along to Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song" as we reached the Portkey. Mum and Dad were already waiting for us.

"I missed your singing." Virginia said as we all touched the Portkey. We were sucked back to Bellinghall, to an ancient wooden sign that gave directions to Bellinghall Center or to the Glen Navis Valley. We walked back through the snow along the single-lane dirt road, bordered by the old stone walls. How was it possible that just three weeks ago, Virginia had lain at death's doorway?

Back at the farmhouse, Dad took his daughters out into the woods to choose a Christmas tree. When we returned, Mum had made all of us warm mugs of hot chocolate. She had even topped them with whipped cream and cinnamon. I warmed my cold fingers around the hot mug, remembering our horrible morning all those days ago. My stomach knotted uncomfortably.

When the hot chocolate was gone, Mum played Christmas music over the record player while she brought out boxes of Christmas decorations. Virginia anointed the top of the Douglas fir with a tattered angel that Naomi had rescued from the neighbor's garbage two years ago. Dad stood under the archway between the kitchen and the living room and told Mum to look up. She had blushed red when she saw the little ball of mistletoe hanging above them. Dad had kissed her soundly to the horror of me and my sisters. When they broke apart, Dad was laughing and Mum was actually smiling.

Homework wasn't assigned over Christmas break, but Virginia continued to read through my textbooks and ask me about different spells and subjects. She peppered me with questions about James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, and Severus Snape.

"You're lucky to have so many friends." She had said dreamily, and I didn't have the heart to tell her only one, maybe two, of those names were actually counted among my friends.

It was hard to believe how pleasant and _normal _our family was.

Christmas Eve came. We attended the Christmas service at the local church and then went caroling with some of the parishoners afterwards. A light snow fell softly as we sang into the December night.

Afterwards, at the house, Mum made gingerbread men cookies and let us girls decorate them. Naomi ended up eating most of her ingredients. At ten, Dad read aloud the famous "Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus" letter and said a blessing over our family. "Thank you, Lord, for the health of our daughter Virginia Grace Harkstone. Thank you that Amber is receiving her education at Hogwarts. Thank you that Naomi has two great role models to look up to. Thank you for my lovely wife and thank you, most of all, for giving us this beautiful family full of love." He raised his eyes to Mum's, who had tears in hers.

Dad dismissed us to bed. Mum caught my arm as I went up the stairs. Virginia and Naomi paused, watching and waiting.

"Merry Christmas, girls." Mum said, and hugged me. I stiffened, then went soft. I couldn't remember the last time she had embraced me. I closed my eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of her vanilla and apple perfume.

Mum released me a moment later, looking sad and happy at the same time. Strange, because I felt the same way.

"Good night, girls." Dad said gently, breaking the moment and dismissing us to bed. I climbed the creaking wooden steps after my sister, throwing a glance downstairs. Dad was holding Mum, touching her arms softly, speaking in low, quiet tones. Mum's head was bowed, but she was nodding. I thought I heard sniffling, like she was crying.

I felt like crying too.

Naomi buzzed into her bedroom excitedly. "Father Christmas is coming!"

Virginia, for all I knew, still believed in the myth as well. The three of us crowded into the bathroom and brushed our teeth. Naomi scrubbed her furiously, apparently trying to be on her absolute best behavior in hopes of earning more gifts. She slammed her bedroom door, and I could still hear moving about excitedly, shutting her bureau drawers too hard and humming loudly.

"Good night, Virginia." I said, hugging my still-thin sister tightly. She no longer smelled like death. Now, she smelled like snow. Clean, pure, and soft.

Virginia sighed. "I'm so glad you're home, Amber. Thank you for coming back."

There was something in her eyes, something deep and dark. I felt a stirring of unnerving. Something primal warned me that something was amiss.

I met her sky-blue eyes squarely, searching her face intently. "Is there anything you need to tell me?" I asked seriously.

Virginia didn't blink. "No. Except… Merry Christmas."

She smiled gently and turned to go to her bedroom. I frowned, watching her go. Something _was_ bothering her, though I wasn't sure what. Could it be jealousy over Mum and I having a truce in our ever-lasting war? Was she feeling alright? Maybe she was just sad to know that I had to go back to school after the holiday.

"Virginia, you know I'm coming back… right?"

Virginia stopped, her hand on the door knob. She half-turned, smiling peacefully. "I know. You'll come home after school is done."

"For summer."

She nodded once. "I'm fine, Amber. It's only for a few months."

Despite her reassurances, I felt that niggling sense of worry that she wasn't being completely honest with me. "You're coming to Hogwarts, aren't you? Next year?"

Virginia said nothing.

I felt an aching pity for my sister. All Virginia did when I had returned was devour my textbooks and homework. She just wanted to learn. I knew she was tired of being babied by our mother. She still treated Virginia like she was some obtuse toddler incapable of making her own decisions.

"I'm just tired, Amber. Nothing more."

I hoped she would be in school with me next year. If her illness was ebbing, surely she would be allowed to attend. Remus was ill. And he did just fine. He was even matched to my level of skill.

I padded back into my bedroom. The house was quiet, except for the soft tinkle of silver bells hanging on the lock on one of my windows. It jingled quietly every few minutes, stirred by some unknown presence.

I stood by the window and stared out into the distance. The village of Bellinghall was still illuminated with Christmas lights. Rainbow and white twinkled softly on the fences and trees and houses. I pressed my palm to the cold windowpane, wondering if I could be lucky enough to have my sister restored to health for Christmas. In the meanwhile, I thanked God that my family, my life, was finally at peace.

However long that peace lasted. In the depths of my heart, I knew it that eventually the storms of reality would end the sweet lull. If Remus was right and The Dark Lord was really at large, then it only a matter of time.

I was sure of it.


	11. Amber and Opals

That Christmas Eve, I dreamt of strange things. I was lost in a deep underground labyrinth. It was wet and stank of sewage and decay. The only light came from the tip of my wand. It shook with my terror, bouncing the blue-white light off of the damp, circular bricked walls. I could feel the top of the tunnel, brushing the crown of my hair, and I shuddered as claustrophobia began to set in. A fat black rat scurried by my feet, squealing.

I burst into a huge, cave-like room. A horrible, gigantic stone face of a man who resembled Zeus gaped its awful mouth wide. An enormous snake, the size and width of a redwood, slithered out of the open jaws, splashing quietly in the black water pooled before me. A small pale child with dark hair stood at the edge of the water, on the other side of the room. He couldn't have been more than Naomi's age.

The huge snake blinked its hot golden eyes and flicked out a massive forked tongue. It was scenting the air. Gooseflesh raced across my skin as it slowly swung its head towards me. I threw a terrified glance to the little boy standing alone. The snake made a low hiss and began to weave itself towards him.

Fear for the child overwhelmed me. Abandoning my own safety, I pelted towards him, wand raised. But what curses or spells did I know that could combat a beast so large?

_None, _I thought in despair, just as the snake reached the boy. It drew itself up, nearly topping the height of the room, swaying gently as it stared down at the boy, who was just seconds away from being killed.

"Run!" I screamed desperately. "Get away from that monster!"

But the child, who face remained stone-still, slowly turned to face me. He was unusually handsome. His dark eyes stared into mine, and I felt a chill of dread sweep over me. That sensation I had felt when the coyote had nearly attacked me at the end of summer came back full-force, sending a cold shock up the ladder of my spine. My legs twitched as I felt the overwhelming desire to run for my life.

Somewhere deep inside, I knew that the snake wasn't the monster. This child was.

The snake roared. I stared into its eyes, horrified, and a moment later the dream changed. I stood at the foot of a headstone, the dirt freshly turned over but covered in white lilies. On the marker were two names. I squinted, trying to read them, but the dream was changing again. Too quickly. I thought I made out two P's at the beginning of the surnames, but I felt as if I was being tossed into the ocean waves, tumbling head over feet, ears flooded by seawater and eyesight seeing only silver bubbles.

I kicked my legs, trying to swim to the surface, but the sky was backwards. The sun boiled on the water above me like a runny egg. I turned the correct way and propelled for the surface. I could feel the mermaids clawing for a hold on my feet, to drag me down to the depths. I pointed my wand down and thought with all my might, _Expelliarmus! _

The force of the spell sent me exploding out of the water. I was bobbing in the middle of the lake; Hogwarts was behind me, burning in flames. People were screaming. The sun turned to the moon and there was a chilling howl. On the edge of the lake was a dark shape, red eyes piercing the darkness of night. It jumped into the water and plowed towards me. As it came into view alarmingly fast, I realized it was a gray wolf. A humanoid wolf. Its mouth was open in a wide snarl. It was close enough to scratch me. I recoiled from the hit, cheek stinging. I dove under the water and prayed it couldn't follow me into the abyss.

"Amber."

Virginia's voice called out to me in the gloomy water. I opened my eyes wider, trying to breathe air, but only inhaling lungfuls of icy lakewater. I gasped and spluttered, clutching at my throat. I was dying. I was going to drown in this cursed lake full of monsters, after all.

Virginia floated before me, a pendant hanging from her neck. It was on a simple gold chain, the jewel green and iridescent. Virginia pulled it free from her neck, her sun-colored hair billowing out around her in a white cloud, and fastened the necklace over me instead. She slowly disappeared until I was alone again. But this time, I could breathe. I could breathe under the water. Because of Virginia, I was going to live.

"Amber."

I closed my eyes and opened them again. Virginia frowned down at me, standing before my bed. I blinked several times, trying to decipher if this was reality, or just another dream.

"You were crying out in your sleep." Virginia said, concerned. "You woke me."

"Sorry." I mumbled, rubbing a hand against my throbbing temple. "Bad dream."

Virginia glanced outside. "It's morning. You should come downstairs. Take your mind off of what happened."

I tried to convince myself that what I had dreamt of was just the illusions conjured by my overactive subconscious. But something about it felt like a warning. Foreboding gripped my bones until I couldn't breathe. That child had looked at me with more evil than any of the other monsters in my dream. Combined. Who was he? And why did I dream of him, if I'd never seen him before in my life?

I pushed myself into a sitting position. I groaned as the blood rushed in my ears, threatening to make me go under again. Virginia's brows pulled together.

"You sure you're alright?"

I nodded stiffly, wishing I could dislodge the horrific nightmare, but it clung like cigarette smoke. Virginia rose delicately and handed me my sweater. "I'll meet you downstairs."

I watched her go. I hadn't realized that the right side of my face stung. I touched the apple of my cheek carefully, feeling bone beneath the soft flesh. It was wet.

Had I been crying?

When I pulled my hand away, it was red. I was bleeding.

I hurried to the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I looked horrible, like I'd nearly drowned. On my cheek was a small red line, welling blood.

It was in the exact place the gray wolf had struck me in my dream.

Shaking, feeling cold and sick, I bent and splashed water on my face from the faucet. I brushed my teeth and opened the medicine cabinet. Inside were rows after rows of little orange bottles. Each was labeled for one Harkstone, Virginia. I scanned them quickly and pulled one out, examining it silently in the light of morning.

"Lavender and passionflower extract" it read. "Take by mouth once daily to combat stress brought on by illness."

Did mental illness count?

I shook out two hard green pills and swallowed them. I put the bottle back carefully, just as I'd found it, and plodded downstairs. I was already feeling lighter when I rested on the worn sofa, staring at the twinkling Christmas tree. Three neat stacks of presents, each stack red, blue, and green, sat underneath the spiked branches of the Douglas fir. I could hear Mum and Dad in the kitchen, talking in quiet voices to each other, too low to decipher. The pounding in my head slowed and eased; the pills worked very quickly.

Naomi tore down the stairs, nearly falling, and skittered to a halt by the tree. "Presents!" She squealed. "Virginia! Ginny! Virginiaaaa! Come on!"

"I'm coming, you imp." Virginia muttered as she came softly into view. She smiled reassuringly at me. I tried to smile back, but even the medicine couldn't shake the cold sense of dread that the nightmare had given me. I pulled the old afghan over my legs, trying to chase off the chill, but the cold didn't come from the temperature of the house. It was from deep inside.

Shivering, I stared into the crackling flames in the hearth. I didn't notice Mum and Dad come into the room until they eased down on either side of me. The sofa creaked and sighed in protest.

"Virginia, yours is the blue stack." Mum announced, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of coffee. "Naomi, yours is green. Amber, yours are red."

My sisters had noticeably larger stacks of gifts.

Naomi handed our parents their stockings, which were full of chocolate frogs and Bernie's Botts Beans. Naomi was busily tearing through her presents, absolutely delighted. She could have opened a package of dirty socks and she would have worn them for the rest of her life. Christmas was Naomi's favorite day of the year. By far.

Virginia slowly unwrapped her presents, smiling serenely as she calmly removed the festive paper and revealed yet another gift.

"Amber!" Naomi whined. "Why aren't you opening yours?"

Mum was looking curiously at me. Dad looked like he could hardly stay awake. I felt the same way. My eyelids felt heavy, as if I hadn't spent the night dreaming, but instead stayed up running a marathon through an endless haunted house.

"I'm tired." I said honestly, hiding my horror as best I could. I just wanted this to be over so I could leave and bury my face into the nearest textbook I could find. _Care of Magical Creatures _would be a good choice. I could peruse the pages and try to identify the giant snake that had slithered its way through my subconscious.

Naomi took it upon herself to hand me each of my four gifts, after she had demolished her ten. The first was a yellow woolen sweater emblazoned with a large black H in the center. I looked at my parents curiously.

"Your grandmother made it." Mum said, speaking of her own mother. "She thought you would be sorted into Hufflepuff."

I felt heat climb into my cheeks. "Oh." I didn't know what to say.

"It also stands for Harkstone." Dad added, fully awake now, staring at my mother with warning in his gaze.

Mum pursed her lips and took a long sip of her coffee.

Naomi, oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation, kept her cycle of gifts coming, however short the cycle was. The next gift was from Naomi herself, who looked radiant with pride, as I pulled out a tiny framed finger-painted picture of an orange butterfly. It fluttered gently from one purple flower to a blue one.

"It's beautiful, Naomi." I said honestly, in awe. She was barely six years old, but Naomi already demonstrated as much talent as some of the classmates I shared in my Art Club. I let her hug me tightly before she handed me the next gift. It was a beautiful pink-and-red, flowered messenger bag with a large strap. It was large enough to fit all of my textbooks and my homework. I hugged my parents; they had been the ones to gift it.

"Here's mine." Virginia said quietly, handing me a simple, thin brown box with a tiny blue ribbon-tie in the middle. I lifted the lid, gasping in quiet surprise.

"Virginia." Mum said softly.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. A simple gold chain, in a perfect V-shape, with a tiny cluster of sparking opals set inside of a matching gold leaf-shaped border. I lifted it up carefully from the white cotton and stared at it. I looked at my sister, my heart pounding in my throat.

It was the exact same necklace from my dream.

"How did you get that?" Mum asked very quietly. "You couldn't have afforded that in your wildest dreams."

"Lena." Dad warned. "Enough."

Mum's face turned pink. "Did you have something to do with this, Walter?"

"We'll discuss this later." Dad said stiffly, his green eyes hard.

"What's wrong?" Naomi asked innocently, her eyes, Dad's eyes, huge and fearful. "Is something wrong with my painting?"

The atmosphere changed instantly. "Absolutely not." I promised, planting a swift kiss on my youngest sister's forehead. "It's beautiful. I love it."

Naomi let out a gusty sigh. "Good. I spent all week on it!"

"Put on the necklace." Virginia said quietly while Mum and Dad praised Naomi for her artistic skills.

Holding her gaze for a moment, I worked the small clasp and draped the opal necklace around my neck. It was light and reflected the fire in small golden winks.

"Why did you give me opals?" I asked her when the rest of our family moved into the kitchen to make waffles.

Virginia smiled gently at me. "You know why."

Troubled, I searched her face. "My birth stone is peridot. Yours is opal, not mine."

Virginia reached over and took my hand into hers. So small and cold. And so uncharacteristic of her. Shy, timid, sheltered Virginia. I could never remember her ever be the first to make a move with anything. She would never suggest a place to eat. She would never speak first. She never had the bravery or gall.

Her actions concerned me. The cold fear inside of me gnawed.

"I want you to have it." Virginia said. "In memory of me. To think of me every time you see it."

"You sound like you're dying." I choked out, not realizing my eyes had filled with tears.

Virginia laughed softly. "But I'm not. I'm the most healthy I've been in a long, long time." She stared out of the window, watching a blue jay eat his fill at our hanging feeder. "It's just made me realize that life is short. And we need to do things that we would otherwise put off. Besides, what if the sky falls on our heads? We'd all be dying then." She squeezed my hand strongly, surprising me again. "I want to live every day like it's my last. You should follow the same idea."

I stared at her, absolved of my fear that something was wrong with her. Tears of relief and joy fell instead. Laughing, I wiped them away with the back of my sleeves. "I'm such a gimp," I chortled, sniffling as the tears subsided. "I thought you were giving me a last memento."

Virginia hugged me quickly. "I'll always be here, Amber." She pulled back and stared at me with those endless sky-blue eyes. Someday, a man would fall hard for her, and I bet it would be because he looked straight into her gaze. With a jolt of excitement, I realized I could be there at Hogwarts with her if she ever found love. She would be around.

For the first time, I felt hope for my sister's future.

"Waffles are ready!" Naomi yelled.

"Breakfast." Virginia said vaguely, as if she was mentally somewhere else, far away. "I'm not that hungry."

"I'm not either." I said, my stomach still in knots from the nightmares. But after the gifted necklace, the reassurance from my sister, and the pills, peace quelled my spinning head and chased away most of the chill. Now, all I wanted to do was sleep.

"Eat something." Virginia said, as if she could read my mind. "Then you can sleep."

I rose to eat breakfast with my family. Virginia picked at her waffle, hardly eating, but Mum didn't scold her for it. She never did with Virginia. But she chided Naomi for spilling a few drops of maple syrup and criticized me for letting my long hair down and free while I ate. "You'll get the hairs in our food." She complained, while Dad squeezed her hand, silencing her.

I climbed slowly back into bed. Soren nudged me, a letter clamped in his beak. "Later," I said, yawning hugely. I tumbled into a deep, dark abyss of dreamless sleep a moment later.

The rest of the visit went quietly and uneventfully. Even Mum was nicer and criticized me only once more when she told me to clean my room, which was already spotless. If Mum couldn't correct someone, she would lose her head.

The day after New Year's was my last at home for winter break. Unlike other students, I had been away from home for over a month. I had grown accustomed to being in Bellinghall. The thought of spending the next five and a half months over seventy miles away brought a lump to my throat and an uncomfortable coil in the pit of my stomach.

I collected my possessions that I would bring back to Hogwarts and opened a window wide. "See you at school tomorrow." I told Soren, who glided smoothly out on his white wings. I shut the window against the frigid yawn of arctic air. Shivering, I pulled on boots and a thick jacket. I hadn't brought any of my school clothes home. I hadn't realized how long I'd be gone.

It was hard to believe I'd been gone for almost five weeks.

Professor Flitwick had sent me notice yesterday that so far, all of my assignments were completely fully and my grades had not suffered from my absence one bit; in fact, they were higher than when I had come back to Bellinghall. "We highly anticipate your return, Miss Harkstone." He had said, before signing his name.

I gave my bedroom one last survey before I left. Everything was in neat order. This summer, I hoped to come back to it in the same condition I'd left it.

Virginia was pulling on her jacket and winding her scarf around her neck when I came downstairs, suitcase in tow. Mum and Dad were nowhere to be seen.

"Naomi needed to go to the local healer," Virginia explained as my jaw fell open in surprise.

"Is she alright?" I asked, worried for my youngest sister.

Virginia laughed. "She's fine. She tried feeding one of the pregnant mares and Penny bit her finger so hard her nail cracked. Dad's going to give her a good tranquilizer later after they come home."

"So they won't be sending me off on the train?"

Virginia shook her head. "Just me. We'll ride Cartiano into town."

Cartiano was the big brown and white appaloosa stallion that was the father of Penny's unborn foal. I arched a brow. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Virginia nodded. "I'm healthier than I've been in years. I haven't forgotten my favorite sport." Since she could crawl Virginia was riding horseback. Mum hadn't allowed her to once her mystery illness had sapped her strength, reducing her to indoor activities only when she was eight.

Shrugging, I followed Virginia outside in the nippy January air. Virginia saddled up the horse while I fed him a carrot. "You sure about this?"

Virginia chuckled. "Honestly, Amber, where's your sense of adventure? You're supposed to be a Hatstall. I thought you'd have more bravery in you from Gryffindor."

I couldn't argue with that logic. Virginia slipped Cartiano's bit into his mouth and clambered aboard his back. "_Leve pondus._" I said, pointing my wand at my heavy suitcase, which instantly lightened. I lifted it easily onto the horse's back while Virginia coaxed him into an easy trot. She was a complete natural at caring for animals.

"Why didn't you just hex that suitcase so you didn't have to carry it all the way from your room?" My sister asked as we clodded down the snow-covered dirt road.

"I want to work on my muscles." I thought of Black and Potter, probably on their way back to Hogwarts at this very moment. "I'll need it if I ever have to beat some sense into those goons."

"You should really think of a better name for those scoundrels." said Virginia. "Something more… astute."

"Like what?" I laughed, relaxed by the gentle movement of the beast.

"Like… corsair. Pirate. Pillager."

"Marauder?"

Virginia made a noise of contentment. "Yes. That's the one. The Marauders."

Cartiano brought us into town and to the train station. No other students awaited with me. I was the sole Hogwarts student from Bellinghall.

Until next year, when Virginia would join me. And Naomi too, eventually.

"I hope her finger gets better soon." I muttered, thinking of the poor girl, probably in splits because she was missing our sendoff.

"She'll get over it." Virginia promised. "And she'll see you in a few months."

I dismounted a little clumsily, unused to the height. Virginia came down much easier. She hugged me just as the locomotive chugged into the platform.

"Be sure to write." I told her as I prepared to leave. "Don't be a stranger."

Virginia searched my face. She was so much healthier than I had ever seen her. But she looked as if she wanted to say something. Something very important. But she wouldn't. Or couldn't.

I frowned, concerned. "It's going to be alright, Virginia."

She studied the snowy ground for a long moment. "You know… they're saying that the Dark Lord is coming into power. That he wants to conquer the Ministry of Magic and exterminate everyone who isn't a pureblood."

"He's a fool." I said darkly. "There isn't a witch or wizard alive who's pureblooded. He's just a maniac. Don't worry too much, Virginia. The Aurors will have him under control."

Virginia grabbed my wrist suddenly, her blue eyes so intense that my heart broke into a gallop. Something was wrong. Definitely wrong.

"Listen to me." Virginia said quietly, her voice low so that only I could hear it. "Things are going to change. I know it. Be careful. Don't go looking for trouble. Please. Naomi needs you."

"Virginia." I said, pulling my arm away, disturbed.

"Promise me." Virginia insisted, her voice deadly serious. Her gaze locked on mine, refusing to let go.

"Alright, alright. I promise." I thought of the late-night escapades and ditching classes to walk the grounds alone. I thought of the mermaids and the murderous willow tree.

Virginia relaxed a little. But her sky-blue eyes remained intense, like a hurricane. "I love you, Amber. Please. Please be careful."

I hugged her once more. The train gave a warning whistle. "Last call for passengers!" The conductor shouted. Cartiano snorted and stamped his hoof.

"I have to go." I threw a glance at the train and looked back at Virginia. "I love you too."

Virginia smiled, seeming more like herself. "See you this summer."

I nodded and hurried to catch the train. I made my way inside just before the locomotive gave a piercing whistle and rolled forward. I sat down and stared out of the window at Virginia, who sat on Cartiano's back, staring up at the train. A squall of snow swept through the platform, making her look like a ghost.

_The Dark Lord is coming into power_… How would she even know about something that serious? She was hardly ten years old. The way she had spoken of it sent gooseflesh across my skin. It was difficult to fathom that such evil could exist in the first place. Our government had checks and balances for a reason. They would be able to defend us.

Wouldn't they?

The train rolled along the snowy tracks. It wasn't the Hogwarts Express; that one was busy collecting students from King's Cross Station and bringing them to the castle. This particular train was a commuter train for witches and wizards, one that would take me straight to Hogsmeade Station.

_He wants to exterminate everyone who isn't a pureblood…_

I shut my eyes, trying to banish my sister's words of warning. She couldn't know anything of the sort. Even the papers like the Daily Prophet claimed that though the Dark Lord, or as they called him, He Who Must Not Be Named, was indeed a powerful wizard, he could in no way take over the Ministry or commit genocide. It was nothing but exaggerated propaganda by attention-seeking writers.

Right?

As the train rolled on deeper into the Scottish Highlands, the snow fell harder and turned the countryside into a white-out. I closed my eyes and thought of Hogwarts. A chill crept into the empty compartment. I longed for a warm blanket. I almost cast the spell _Incendio_, but knew if I lost control of the flames, I would be toast. Literally.

My mind mulled over what Virginia had said, repeating it and dissecting it and analyzing. There was something that nagged at the back of my mind, persisting and unrelenting until I finally let out my breath and accepted the fact.

Virginia wasn't just worrying. She was warning me. Somehow, she _knew _something bad was coming. Something that involved this Dark Lord.

Somehow, Virginia had seen the future.


	12. The Murder Tree

The commuter train arrived well before the other students on the Hogwarts Express did. I disembarked and was confronted with a huge, towering mountain of a man: Rubeus Hagrid, the groundskeeper of Hogwarts.

"Blimey!" Hagrid boomed, making me flinch. "Just the one of yer, eh?"  
"That's right." I looked around, spotting the grandeur of the castle high on its mountain.

"Well, I suppose we better be getting you out of this cold. You look awful pale there." He frowned, his great black brows pushing together into one massive eyebrow. "You feeling alright? What's yer name?"

"Amber Harkstone." I answered, already feeling the brutal chill of the Scottish snowstorm. "Ravenclaw."

Hagrid nodded. "Oh, yeah! Yer the one who took ten minutes. Ah, I coulda sworn you'd be Gryffindor. I was a Gryffindor once, when I was a student here." He laughed good-naturedly. "That was a long time ago. Come on, you look colder by the minute."

He led me to a carriage. It was set up just like a horse-drawn buggy, except there was nothing pulling it forward.

"It's a threstral, isn't it?" I said as we clambered inside.

Hagrid looked surprised and pleased. "Why yes! How'd you know?"

"I read about it, in _Hogwarts, a History_."

"Blimey. No wonder Ravenclaw's gotten so many points this year." Hagrid chortled as he snapped the reigns and the carriage moved forward. I wrapped my scarf around my nose, trying to hunch over to conserve body heat.

Hagrid dropped a huge tartan wool blanket over me. I pulled it around my shoulders gratefully.

"You ought to be eating more, mite." Hagrid went on. "You're as skinny as a whippet."

"I know." I said, teeth chattering slightly, as a gust of icy wind blasted us in the face. The blanket did well to block out most of the chill.

"I know a lot about magical creatures meself." Hagrid informed me as we rolled on towards the castle. "Hinkypunks, lethifolds, griffins, kelpies… We've got mermaids in the lake, did ya know?"

"Oh, I know." I said darkly, remembering those she-devils.

"Aye, we've got werewolves too. Deep in the Forbidden Forest. That's why it's Forbidden. Too many dangerous creatures in there. Nothing proper for schoolchildren. Dumbledore'll always keep yer safe, though. Good spells and enchantments protecting Hogwarts."

I felt a chill that had nothing to do with the cold run up my spine. "Werewolves?" So close to the school?

Hagrid looked uncomfortable. "I shouldn'ta told yer that. It's really nothing to worry about, so long as yer stay within the school bounds. We have unicorns, too."

I smiled, remembering my first day at Hogwarts with Lily. "I know. They're beautiful."

"Aye." said Hagrid proudly. "But those winged horses are mighty something beautiful too. Professor Kettleburn, he's your Care of Magical Creatures professor, right?"

"Yes. He's quite good." I thought of the poor aging man, who was missing a limb and had lost every chance of ever regrowing eyebrows or facial hair.

Hagrid had a dreamy look in his eye. He snapped the reigns lightly over the backs of the invisible thestrals. "Aye, lucky man, Kettleburn. Dream job. Great man, Dumbledore, great man. Great school."

"You should be a professor." I said as the castle neared. "You sound like you want to teach."

I thought I saw Hagrid blush. "Aww, I don't know bout that. Teaching at Hogwarts? That'd be the day… That would be the best day of me life." He sighed. "Glad to be here, Amber. You should be too. I heard you got into a few spots of trouble with the murder tree."

My heart stopped. "The what?" I said weakly, instantly remembering the night when I had taunted that nasty willow, foolish and stupid. Sweat broke out on my palms. Thank God Remus had been there to snap me away from my own recklessness.

"Aye. Dumbledore asked me to plant that willow last summer, right after the school let out. We'd already picked our new students. He wanted it for protection. Keeping kids out of the Forbidden Forest. And the Shrieking Shack."

"The what?" I said breathlessly. "The Shrieking Shack?"

Hagrid nodded, deep in thought. "Old building down the ways. Very loud at night, during the full moon. McGonagall reckons it's poltergeists like Peeves. Or a ghoul. I think it might be some rabid creatures. Maybe even a boggart. I asked Dumbledore if I could go see it, but he said that no one is allowed to enter it. Not even me." Hagrid scratched his thick beard thoughtfully. "Usually lets me do things such as that. Great man."

I nodded, trying to absorb this new information. A shrieking shack? Haunted? Infested? Enchanted?

_Be careful. Don't go looking for trouble. Please. _Virginia's words flowed back to me. I could feel the curiosity and urge to seek a thrill flowing through my veins. My fingers twitched upon the handle of my ash wand. Not even this gargantuan groundskeeper was allowed to check it out. What kinds of mysteries did it hold?  
"You said something about a murder tree." I said suddenly. "Is it that willow tree? The big one?"

"Yep. Big, mean thing. Special kind of breed of tree. They're known to kill folks with murderous rage just for getting too close. Aye, but I think theys is misunderstood. They don't mean to hurt nobody. They just guarding what theys supposed to." Hagrid lowered his voice as we neared the castle. We had only minutes left before I would get off the carriage and head into the castle. Only minutes left to glean as much information as I could out of this gentle giant.

"Really?" I said, heart pounding in my ears, hoping he would continue to digress.

Hagrid nodded enthusiastically. I wondered how often anyone asked him questions. Asked to learn. Asked him anything at all…

"Aye. See, some folks call it the murder tree because they say it's cursed. They say if you best a whomping willow, you'll lay a curse on you. Someone in your life will die before the next full moon."

This time there was no mistaking the shudder that went through me. Shivering, I asked tentatively, "Is that a true curse? Or just a myth?"

Hagrid shrugged. "I think it's just a rumor, ter be honest. But I don't intend on finding out."

The carriage rolled to a stop. He dismounted so heavily that the wheels trembled. I hopped down while Hagrid picked up my luggage like it was a cracker. "It was nice talking ter ya, Amber." His eyes suddenly widened, and looked almost frightened. "Listen, sometimes I get a little carried away with what I'm saying… Don't go repeating what you just heard, you hear? You're a Ravenclaw, you're a smart girl. Use that good judgment!" He smiled hugely and tapped his temple, looking almost too happy. Almost desperate.

_Don't go looking for trouble…_

I nodded, trying to suppress out the strong urge to seek out the mysterious shack. If Hagrid could discount the myth about the murder tree so easily, then so could I.

It was only a myth, right?

"Thanks for the ride, Hagrid." I offered him a smile. "And I won't tell."

Hagrid looked immensely relieved. "If you ever want to come down to me hut for tea and cakes, you're welcome ter. I'd love the company. And I have some nifflers that could use some attention."

"Mind if I bring a friend?" I said, thinking of Lily.

Hagrid beamed. "Shouldn't be a problem."

I waved goodbye and headed into the castle. My footsteps echoed down the long, empty hallways. The other students hadn't arrived yet. But they would. Soon. Very soon.

I glanced either direction. My heart began to pound hard again, adrenaline coursing through my veins, making me dizzy. I had enough time to go to the library and check out a Herbology book. No one would know.

_Please. _

I saw Virginia asking me to stay out of trouble. To behave. I shut my eyes briefly, seeing my sister's face, her stern, serious blue eyes.

I started walking towards the Ravenclaw tower. I paused, chest rising and falling quickly. I should have kept walking toward the common room, to the tower. I should have listened to my sister and to Hagrid.

Instead I turned on my heel and hurried to the library. Five minutes later, I had checked out the textbook that covered advanced Herbology. Another five minutes and I was in my bed, scanning the pages for the whomping willow. I didn't stop reading until dinner was ready and I fully dispelled the death rumor as myth once and for all. The fear was gone.

I was going to investigate this Shrieking Shack, whether or not a giant tree guarded it. Whether or not I could die.

Because the fact that someone else could die was just a myth.

After Lily and I said the counter-curse for the hair-changing charm on Potter and Black that dinner after winter break, I devoted myself entirely into my studies. Lily and I visited Hagrid in his hut once a week on Saturday afternoons. We learned quickly that his cooking was less than edible. I nearly broke a tooth on his rock cakes and make sure to eat before coming down to his high-ceilinged hut.

Over the course of the following months, I pored over every book in the library about the art of sneaking into abandoned places. I learned to expect boggarts, hinkypunks, or ghouls. I also knew from speaking to some of the Hogwarts ghosts that the Shack was at its most active during the full moon, confirming what Hagrid had said. I decided to visit it during a nearly full moon, when I would have some light but not enough to let others see me crossing the grounds after dark.

Remus, like me, buried himself in his schoolwork. We didn't speak much. Once a month, his illness, like Virginia's, reduced him to his bed and sometimes it would be days before I or anyone saw him. He spoke more to Lily than to me. Once in awhile Flitwick would assign work that included a partner, and since we shared a desk, we would always collaborate on whatever work he dispensed.

I never said a word of what I was planning. Not to anyone. In April, the snow melted, and the grass began to show signs of green life again. The trees swelled with sweet-smelling blossoms and drifted fragrantly on the spring air.

It was during the middle of the month that I decided to go on my adventure. After months of studying, planning and forgetting Virginia's request of caution, I knew it was time. Most of students were occupied with preparing for upcoming finals. Now that the year was drawing to a close, the professors were assigning more and more homework. I finished easily and early with Lily, while others, like Peter Pettigrew, struggled and required tutoring.

The night I decided to explore the shack was a clear one. No clouds would obscure the moon or stars. Part of me was tempted to tell Lily. To tell at least her, in the faint chance that she would want to accompany me. But I knew that Lily, in all of her goodness and concern for others, would balk and beg me to abandon the idea. And with enough guilting, she would succeed. Probably easily.

I was too excited to eat much at dinner. I knew it would be best to go after the others had gone to sleep while they were unawares. At the Gryffindor table at my place next to Lily, who was busily chattering away to Remus, I could feel someone staring at me. I turned slightly and found myself gazing right into the eyes of Sirius Black. He narrowed his gray eyes and whispered something into Potter's ear. He looked over sharply, staring at me curiously. He frowned.

A prickle of unease crawled across my skin. Did they know? How could they? They couldn't read minds. At least, not that I knew of.

Even though I wasn't hungry, I picked up a biscuit and buttered it, tearing off small pieces. I pretended to be occupied by my light dinner, when in reality, I couldn't stop thinking about what I would be doing in just a few hours. The excitement was so heady that my hands shook slightly, even now.

"You okay?" Lily said, breaking into my thoughts.

I nodded. "Yeah. Not very hungry."

"You never are." Remus observed, looking amused. "You eat like a little bird. Sparingly and lightly."

Blushing with embarrassment, I stuffed the rest of the biscuit into my mouth and swallowed it down with a gulp of iced tea. "Says the vacuum. You've had two plates."

"He's a growing boy." Lily said defensively, green eyes sparkling with laughter.

Remus shrugged and gnawed on a corndog.

I could feel Potter and Black staring at me. I tossed them an annoyed glance and made a point not to look at them after that.

"We should go to the art studio." Lily told me as she finished her plate. "We can work on our paintings some more." It was a month-long assignment that was due in a week. I had finished mine already, five days ago, but Professor Song told me I could earn extra credit if I did a second one. I believed she had assigned it just to keep me occupied with busy work.

"How long?" I said neutrally.

"A few hours." She laughed. "Why? Do you have a date or something?"

Now I could feel Remus staring at me intently. I felt hot under my robe and shirt. I cleared my throat, trying not to let my illegal adventure show on my face. "No. I'm just tired."

"It's a Friday!" Lily protested. "We're supposed to stay up late."

"I can't, Lily. I'm sorry. I'm just really tired. I'd rather sleep in and stay up late tomorrow."

I hated lying to her, but I had been planning this for too long to throw it away now. Everything had to be exactly according to detail, or I could get caught. I felt sick with nervousness as I thought of getting expelled. It was worse than I felt about lying to my best friend.

Lily looked concerned. "You should rest, then. Do you want to go see Madam Pomfrey?"

I shook my head. "Thanks, but no. It's Friday. It's been a long week. I just need to sleep."

Lily nodded. "Okay. I'll ask Sev. I'm sure he'd be happy to do some painting. Better than all of those Potions." She groaned. "He'll probably want to do that instead."

My lips twitched as I hid a smile. Imaging Severus painting was like imagining Peter Pettigrew strong-arm a lion.

"Good night." I said, smiling at her and Remus. I could feel Potter and Black watching me as I left the Great Hall.

I did head straight for the Ravenclaw Tower, but instead of getting ready to sleep, I prepared myself for the excursion. I changed into my Muggle clothes; a pair of jeans and a gray zip-up sweater that would blend in with the silver light of the moon. I tied my slightly curling hair into a high ponytail to keep the wind from whipping it into my face. I placed my hiking boots imported from L.L. Bean in the United States by my bedside so that I could easily slip into them. I curled up under my covers and tried to sleep. I would need energy for my night ahead.

My eyes popped open in what felt like a minute later. Surrounding me were beds full of sleeping girls. Their deep breathing told me they weren't going to wake up when I slipped on my boots.

I crept out of the bedroom tower and out of the common room silently. The door was slightly ajar from where I'd left a small marble jammed into the latch slot. It had never locked.

I left the marble inside for when I would return later. I made my way down the spiraling staircase, now complete with railings. Peter Pettigrew's tumble had cemented the safety issue concerning falls. They were iron-wrought and sturdy. I didn't touch them as I made my way down and walked down to the portrait that would lead me outside of the castle walls.

Heart pounding with excitement, I gripped my wand tighter and hesitated just outside of the panoramic painting, which displayed a lake with choppy waves. It was clearly windy out tonight, but very clear.

"Curse you." I said softly. The painting gave way to my gentle push and revealed the dark tunnel beyond. I let the painting slid into place behind me as I made my way through. "_Lumos_," I muttered, the tip of my wand igniting in an iridescent blue light.

The wind was whistling through the branches of the trees when I emerged outside. The air was damp and warm. It smelled like rain. I wondered if a thunderstorm would rumble through.

Would I have time to make it back to the castle without getting drenched?

I felt a stab of misgivings. Maybe I _should_ turn back. I could always come back another night.

_But the rain won't kill you_. I thought crossly. _No one died from a little precipitation. _

My legs were springy with adrenaline as I walked determinedly toward the Whomping Willow. The wind tore at my ponytail. I was grateful the air wasn't cold. That alone would have driven me back to the castle.

The Murder Tree came into view. I wondered if the loud wind would cover my footsteps, but the tree seemed to be feeling the vibrations of my feet. It stirred, shaking out its long, whip-like tendrils warningly as I neared.

"_Leve pondus_," I said quietly, pointing the wand at myself. I felt like I was floating, thought my feet were still clearly on the ground. The tree creaked and groaned, swaying back and forth, as if listening for me. I took a few cautious steps forward. The tree didn't notice.

Maybe this charm was going to work after all.

I stayed as far away from the tree as possible, but it seemed that Hagrid was right: this thing was designed to guard the shack. There was a dark tunnel yawning at the base of the willow, one I'd glimpsed last time but never thought of twice until Hagrid's tale of its connection to the shack. I knew in my gut that it would lead straight to the building.

I crept closer. The tree went very still, as if straining to hear or feel my approach. The charm was still working. I was very light, so light that the willow couldn't detect me.

The wind blasted me hard suddenly, nearly tearing my ponytail free from its elastic. I squinted as tears streamed from my eyes; the wind was so brutal it was impossible to see through the shimmery veil of tears. I wiped my eyes quickly and waited for the gust to subside. The trees groaned and swayed in the air. When the wind died down, they stilled. The Willow weaved from side to side, unnaturally alive and aware.

I crept closer to the entrance at the base of the massive trunk. My heart pounded in my ears; I wiped the nervous sweat from my palms onto my jeans. Five steps. Ten. Fifteen.

I was at the entrance. The dark opening smelled strongly of earth and shadows. A chill shivered across my skin, giving me goose bumps. What kinds of creatures awaited me in there? Part of me hoped it was just flobberworms and rabbits, but something else, something deeper, warned me not to go farther.

I ignored that more rational part of me and pressed on.

The ceiling was high enough that I could walk through without needing to bend over. From the faint light that emanated from my wand tip, I could see hundreds of little roots hanging like dirty chandeliers from the roof of the tunnel. The air was cold and heavy. I wondered if this was how catacombs smelled.

I fought down the urge to scream or vomit. Were they any bodies in here? What kinds of things would I find at the end of this tunnel? Or even _in _it?

I hesitated, almost turning back, but deciding against it. It would have made my months of preparation and planning absolutely useless.

I walked for what felt like an hour. A few times I glanced behind me out of instinct, feeling as if I were being followed, but only a wall of inky blackness was there, pushing me forward. Sweat gathered on my brow despite the cold. What if I got lost in here? What if I never got above ground again? What if I was doomed to wander here forever? Or until I died?

"_Some folks call it the murder tree because they say it's cursed. They say if you best a whomping willow, you'll lay a curse on you…"_

"Stop it." I said to myself aloud. "Stop."

I couldn't shake Hagrid's words from my mind. I swallowed hard against the rising panic and kept walking. I had to remind myself I hadn't come this far to give up.

Time passed. It felt like another fifteen minutes before I smelled something different, something faint but definitely different.

Fresh air.

I fought the urge to race ahead and get out of this awful tunnel full of darkness and roots. I held my wand forward, illuminating the path of lumpy roots and scattered pebbles. How long had they been down here, cut off from the outside, from the heavens and the fresh air?

A slight breeze blew towards me, playing with the locks of my blond hair. My stomach squeezed tight with relief and excitement when I saw a faint opening ahead. Dirty gray light spilled into the tunnel. I abandoned caution and pelted down the rest of the way. I nearly tripped over the rough-hewn tunnel of the floor, but I quickly balanced my weight and tore out through the exit. I inhaled deep lungfuls of air, so grateful to be free of that earthen tomb.

It took me a few moments to taste the air I was so greedily inhaling. It wasn't fresh, even compared to the tunnel. It was musty, thick, and strangely warm. I brushed a few loose strands of hair from my damp forehead and surveyed where I was.

The wand light illuminated the room. I was in some kind of abandoned kitchen. The counters were covered in a thick layer of grime and dust. The sink was rusted out. The yellowed walls, probably once white, were covered in ancient newspapers, which had long since stopped moving. I stepped closer and studied the margin of one corner. **8 May 1935.**

This house had been abandoned for over forty years.

I was aware of how loudly I was breathing. I shut my mouth and inhaled through my nose as quietly as I could. It was nearly a full moon. Hagrid had said during the full moon, noises were discernable, even from the distance of the castle, which must have been at least a mile away, if not two. So why was the house silent?

Most of the windows were broken. A vine of wisteria, brown and dead, had grown through the broken shards and poised rigidly, a dead arm. I tried to commit this to memory, so that I could copy this all down later back in the Ravenclaw common room. Make a map of this place.

The shack was more of a plantation. Each room had a fireplace and at least one large window. Strangely, the only furniture was old appliances. No couches, no tables, chairs, paintings. The walls were bare and bore signs of their age.

I crept up a narrow staircase. Two steps creaked loudly, sending more goose bumps across my skin. I wished I hadn't come here alone. But who would have understood?

The upstairs landing was littered with an old desk, record player, and a box of dusty volumes and vinyl records. An old, stained mattress on a wooden frame stood haphazardly in the center of the next room. A second kitchen was located on the second floor, next to the other bedrooms.

A strong breeze rattled the house. The wind was picking up again. This time, it was so strong that I felt a pang of intense apprehension. Wind wasn't this strong. It wasn't this powerful. It wasn't natural.

The remaining panes of glass squeaked. A few shingles flew off of the roof, flying like bats into the air. Two huge magnolia trees thrashed together in front of the house. I clutched my wand tighter, almost dropping it from the sweat in my palms. Something was coming. Something big. Something powerful.

Something evil.

My scalp prickled hotly. A cold chill raced up from my spine and out into my arms. It was the same evil that Backe had warned about months and months ago in the _Daily Prophet_, that I tried not to think about because Virginia had known…

_The Dark Lord is coming._

I shut my eyes tightly. I knew it was pointless, but I had to try to survive. For my sisters. For my family. For my friends.

I ran to the nearest closet and tried not to think about what might be living in it. I swung the door shut silently, leaving only a hairline crack visible so that I could see the room. The closet was situated at the top of the stairs. Maybe, just maybe, the Dark Lord wouldn't think to look there. It would be too easy for someone to hide in plain sight at the first hiding place…

Sweat dripped down my face and between my shoulder blades. The wind died abruptly. The house was suddenly very, very quiet. Too quiet. I could hear my heartbeat hammering in my ears. I wanted to run for my life, the urge so strong that I literally shook with it, but I held as still as I could. I strained to listen, to hear. Nothing moved. Not even a dead leaf rustled.

Then.

A footstep creaking downstairs. Two. Coming closer. Coming towards the stairs. Coming towards me.

"_Nox." _I whispered as quietly as I could, my throat so tight with terror that it was a miracle that the light went out at all. I was thrown into darkness.

My heart was pounding so crazily now I was sure the Dark Lord could hear it. A dark shape loomed at the bottom of the stairs. A flash of dizzying black covered my vision. Was I going to pass out from fear?

The figure approached.

I squeezed my wand so tightly I could feel the wood splinters dig into my palm. A window that hadn't broken streamed in dirty moon light from the gray panes at the top of the stairs. How ironic, that the last thing I would see before I died, would be the face of the Dark Lord.

The figure stopped at the top of the stairs. Light threw his features and face into focus. I was so surprised that the wand fell from my hand and clattered loudly to the wooden floor.

I pushed the door open, my mouth hanging open.

"_Remus?"_


	13. Cry Wolf

I stared at him, my feet frozen to the dusty wooden floor. He looked just as thunderstruck to see me. His green eyes were so huge I could see the whites, leaving perfect circles of emerald.

No, not emerald… his eyes weren't that cold and dark. Not tonight. In the moonlight, they were iridescent and bright. Electric. Animal.

Remus looked terrible. His face was pale and drawn. His eyes had deep shadows under them, and his scars were more pronounced than ever. He was trembling. He looked like he was about to be sick.

"You shouldn't be here." He rasped, and I let out a gusty breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"_Me?" _I said incredulously. "What about _you? _You're not supposed to be here either!"

"I think we've already had this conversation." Remus snapped, his eyes flashing. There was a hint of a snarl in his voice that brought me up short. Something told me to keep quiet, to stay passive. To keep him calm.

Remus dragged a hand through his hair, which I now noticed was wild and tousled, like he'd had a very intense bedhead. He stared out of the window onto the lawn below, his face haggard and haunted.

"You aren't supposed to be here, Amber." Remus repeated, sounding so weary that I knew something was wrong. "This is off limits for a very, very good reason."

"And what reason might that be?" I said carefully, bending down slowly to pick up my dropped wand.

Remus stared out into the distance, seeing something only he could. "A monster lives here once a month. It will kill humans without question. Without the least hesitation." He was growing paler by the second. "This is where it comes to conceal itself from the rest of the world. To keep people safe."

I watched his face. "So… there _is _a monster."

He shut his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes."

My heart pounded again, but this time, I felt safer knowing that I wasn't alone here. Remus was here. Two students were better than one. "I thought you were the Dark Lord… coming up the stairs to kill me."

"I might as well have been." Remus said darkly, startling me. That was the last thing I had expected to come out of his mouth.

"What do you mean?" I said uneasily. "What's wrong with you, Remus? You look terrible."

He laughed coldly, without an ounce of humor. He still wouldn't look at me. "It's a wonder you're the top student in our year, Amber. For a smart witch, you sure are oblivious."

Heat rushed to my face. "What the hell does _that _mean?" I snapped, insulted.

Remus shook his head. "You never pieced together the puzzle. The clues were all there. Me being sick once a month, missing class. Avoiding you. Avoiding everyone. Knowing Madame Pomfrey better than anyone else in our year. The food I eat."

I had no idea what Remus was saying, or trying to say. But a warning prickle picked at my skin. Something was wrong. Very wrong. But what?

"Are you a Death Eater?" I whispered, the only thing I could think of.

Remus's eyes widened, and he actually snorted in laughter. Now, he met my gaze squarely, green into brown. "You really don't get it. You, of all people, with the sick sister and the books! I thought you loved your Care of Magical Creatures book!"

"How did you know about that?" I said quietly, my face heating up. How much did he know about me? How much did I know about him?

"I _wanted _to be your friend, Amber." Remus went on miserably. "I want friends more than anything. James and Sirius already know… and they don't care. They're working on a solution. They're smart guys. Brilliant. Maybe as much as you and Lily."

Fury melted away my leash on control. "Those _arses _aren't worth two flobberworms!" I shouted. "I know they told Peter Pettigrew to sneak into Ravenclaw Tower! They pick on Severus and me! They're arrogant and awful!"

"They might be a little much," Remus amended, but added quickly when he saw my outraged expression, "They are a _lot_, and I've asked them to tone it down, believe me. I don't like their idea of fun anymore than you do."

"Then _why _are you friends with them?" I demanded, small red sparks erupting from the tip of my phoenix feather wand. "_I'm _your friend, Remus! Or I'm _trying _to be! But you'd rather be in _their _company than mine!"

"It's not like that!" Remus shouted, and I took a step back in alarm. His canines, which always had been unusually pronounced, were now clearly exposed and fang-like. Remus stared at me furiously, an ugly vein pounding in his temple. I stared at him, wide-eyed.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked finally, once several beats of silence had passed and his face wasn't as red. "What do you have?"

Remus sagged into a dusty stool, burying his face into his hands. "James and Sirius understand. They don't care that I have what I have. But you will."

"What?" I pressed. "What is it?"

Remus remained silent.

"I won't tell, Remus. I give you my word." I wasn't sure if I _wanted_ to know. Whatever his secret was, it was torturing him. It was eating him alive. Did I want that kind of burden? Did I want to?

I thought of my sister and how lonely she felt with her mysterious illness. How no one treated her fairly and like she was a person. They only saw her disease and treated her like she was a fragile doll, to be left alone and touched with the utmost care. People treated her differently. People alienated her. They didn't see her as Virginia Harkstone. They saw her illness.

Maybe that was exactly what Remus was afraid of.

"I won't judge you like they do." I promised, easing onto the floor next to him, crossing my legs. Remus blinked, watching me as I settled against the dusty railing and gazed up at him. "I'm your friend, Remus. That won't change. Not for anything."

He was quiet for a long time. I could hear a cricket chirping from somewhere in the house. An owl hooted from one of the giant magnolia trees outside. The wind rustled the leaves. Remus chewed his lower lip, shutting his eyes as if trying to block out something he didn't want to see.

"Are you gay?" I whispered. For some reason, it brought a pang of dismay in my stomach. I felt the blood drain from my face.

Remus chuckled quietly. "No. I definitely like girls."

"Oh." Strange. Another emotion, completely opposite from dismay, warmed the ice of disappointment away. My skin heated. What was it? Relief?

Remus swallowed hard. He passed a shaking hand over his face. More scars lined his body, gouging into his wrist. I wondered how deep they had went. When they had gotten them. From where.

I gasped softly. "Your scars… that has something to do with it, doesn't it?"

Remus let the silence grow until it rang in my ears, deafening. "Yes."

I studied the silver-pink scars on his face, raked down in one violent slash. "You were attacked."

Remus looked like he was going to be sick. "When I was a child. I was five."

"Five?" I repeated weakly, feeling ill myself.

A muscle jerked in his jaw. "It was an act of revenge against my father. He insulted a very dangerous, very unstable man. Fenrir Greyback." He let out a long sigh. "Greyback is a werewolf."

"Remus." I said softly.

"He attacked me during a full moon." Remus went on bitterly. "I was sleeping in my bed. He forced open my window… and… and he attacked me."

Remus lifted up his shirt partially, exposing his scarred chest. My hand went up to my mouth in horror.

"You were five?" I whispered.

Remus bowed his head. "My father did everything he could. He saved my life. But it was too late. Greyback came to infect me, and he succeeded. My parents searched for a cure, for anything, but there was nothing. There _is _nothing." His fists were clenched so tightly I could see the white knuckles pressing against his skin. "Every full moon, Madam Pomfrey escorts me here in the afternoon. She tries to help me with medicine, but it doesn't help. Nothing does. I transform here, alone. Werewolves need human prey… and I'm locked in from the outside. I bite and scratch myself out of frustration. But it's not me. And yet, it is… It's like this horrible beast, this disease inside of me that takes hold of the real me once a month. Once a _month_. And there's nothing I can do, or that anyone can do, except imprison me here." His eyes were filling with tears. "I wake up covered in my own wounds and blood. The villagers… they call this place the Shrieking Shack because they think it's the sound of particularly violent spirits. No one knows it's me. Except for Dumbledore. And Madame Pomfrey. James and Sirius. And now you."

I stared at him, trying to grasp what he had just told me. Everything from this year, from his absences in class to his moodiness, to his scars and his odd fluctuations from wanting to be friends to avoiding me for weeks at a time… his sympathy towards my sister…

"Remus… I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to say anything." Remus said dully. "I'm a monster. I'm surprised I even got into this school. That Dumbledore would let me come here. He knew what I was, what I am. But he still told me to come here to learn."

"You can't punish yourself for what Greyback did." I murmured. "It wasn't your fault."

"No." He said heavily. "But I'm still a threat. A danger. He had that tree planted at the front of the tunnel to keep anyone from coming here when I'm… dangerous."

"The Murder Tree?"

Remus peered at me curiously. "The what?"

"The Murder Tree." I repeated. "That's what Hagrid called it."

He frowned. "It's a Whomping Willow. It could kill you, but it won't actually murder anyone. It's just a special type of tree. A guard dog, if anything."

"That's not what Hagrid said." I thought of his warning, his tale. "He said it lays a curse on anyone who gets past it without permission. He said someone in your family will die."

Remus looked faintly amused. "I know Hagrid. He's a good guy, but he's also very… fantastical. He gets caught up in magical creatures. I wouldn't be surprised if he even made that up himself."

I thought of Hagrid, jolly and a little too trusting. Impossibly tall and wide. Happy. Kind. I didn't take him as the lying kind. The daring and oblivious kind, yes, but not a liar.

"You know him well?" I asked, trying to divert Remus' attention, to take the weight off of his mind.

Remus half-smiled. "Yeah. Sometimes me and the guys go down to his hut to help out with the animals he helps take care of. Professor Kettleburn likes to enlist his help, especially for the bigger and tougher animals. He's a good guy. Terrible cook, though."

"The guys? Meaning… Potter and Black."

"And Pettigrew." Remus added importantly. "I know you don't like them, Amber. But they're different around me. They know my secret, and they don't care." He barked a laugh. "In fact, Sirius thinks it's the coolest thing he's ever heard. He wants to be a wolf too."

Heat rushed to my face. "That's so rude!"

Remus was smiling now though. "I don't think so. It would be nice to not be alone."

"He can't be a wolf." I said indignantly. "Unless he's a werewolf, too."

"He's not." Remus said. "But he's a bit of a mad scientist. So is James. And Peter is smarter than you think. He might come across as shy and bumbling, but he's really quite brilliant. He just needs the right kind of guidance."

I tried to think of the pudgy, scared little boy as anything but, and I couldn't.

"Maybe." I conceded. "But Remus… Why didn't you tell me all of this earlier? I could have been here for you. Talked to you. My sister has a horrible illness. There's nothing we can do about it. I could have listened. I could have helped you."

Remus sighed. "I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just thought… it would be better if less people knew. And James and Sirius said you were a bit of a loose cannon."

I let out a huff of air. "What does _that _mean?"

Remus actually laughed. "What you just did. You just proved their point."

I rolled my eyes, tugging my hair out of its elastic and letting it fall around my shoulders. My ears were getting cold. They warmed against the thick tangle of blonde hair. "Whatever. Those two are insufferable. I'd rather eat a hamburger than suffer their company."

"Spoken like a true Ravenclaw." Remus laughed. "You don't eat meat, do you?"

"I'm a vegetarian." I responded, thinking of all of my animals I'd helped raise on our farm at home. "I can't eat anything with a face."

Remus smiled. "Then I guess I'm safe."

"I guess." I punched him playfully in the knee. "You never _stop _eating."

"I'm a growing boy." Remus pulled out his wand, matching it up against mine. "Ash, right?"

"Yeah." I studied his. "Willow?"

"Yes." He waved his wand lightly. "Unicorn tail hair."

"Phoenix tail feather." I grinned, watching the surprise in his face.

"That's rare." Remus said. "Very rare. Can I hold it?"

I handed over my wand, taking his in exchange. Remus jerked slightly, his eyebrows lifting. "It shocked me."

I laughed. "Ollivander said these kinds cling extremely tightly to their original owners. It likes me."

"Not me, apparently." He said darkly, waving it once at the box of old books. "_Incendio."_

There was silence. And then a tiny, but distinct, farting noise. Remus and I stared at each other in shock.

"Did your wand… just blow a raspberry at me?" He exclaimed.

I was laughing too hard to say anything back. I swapped our wands and felt mine own familiar wand warm against my palm. I giggled as I snapped the tip of the wand at a ratty, moth-eaten cloth on the floor. "_Wingardium Leviosa._"

My wand thrummed with power as the rag lifted itself up from the ground, suspended perfectly in midair. When Remus tried to take it, it moved away.

"I didn't do that." I said quickly, my hand still.

Remus lifted a brow. "Your wand has a mind of its own, Amber."

I felt a shiver of alarm and awe. Did I really want that kind of power? A wand who could think for itself? A wand with an attitude, a personality?

"You're starting to scare me." I muttered, snatching the rag down and wiping a small circle of grime off of the window at the top of the stairs so that I could see clearly outside. "You're starting to sound just like Ollivander."

"He might be a nut," Remus conceded, "But he means well. He's a harmless old man."

I narrowed my eyes. "Hold on a second." I watched the grounds outside of the old house, eyes adjusting to the moonlight grass and trees. Two shapes were moving in the darkness. Moving towards the house.

"Someone's coming." I warned softly. Remus was at my side instantly, peering through the glass. He sniffed the air heavily, nostrils flaring. I turned and gave him a curious look.

"My senses are sharper right before the full moon." Remus explained. "One of the few perks of my condition. Unless someone farts."

I snorted a laugh. Remus's lips twitched.

"It's James and Sirius." Remus said a moment later. "For sure. I can smell them from here."

"What is it with boys and not taking showers or wearing deodorant?" I said in exasperation as Remus chuckled.

"We like our own odor." He explained as he put his willow wand away into his pocket. "It's manly."

I wrinkled my nose. "Trust me. There is nothing manly about body odor. It's disgusting."

His green eyes sparkled in amusement. "I'll take that opinion from a girl. I'll remember that."

I rolled my eyes and headed down the creaky old stairs. This time, I didn't bother trying to be quiet. I made it to the bottom of the stairs just as Potter and Black pushed open the old screen door, the hinges whining and creaking in protest.

"Harkstone!" Black barked. "What the hell are you doing here?" His eyes widened as Remus came down the stairs and stood by my side. "What are _you _doing here with _her_?"

"She came here on her own." Remus explained as I opened my mouth to fire off a retort. "I'm actually impressed. She made it past the Willow and all the way in here alone."

Potter narrowed his hazel eyes, balancing his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Does she know about the knob?"

Remus frowned. "She must have."

I shook my head. "Actually, I used a weightless charm. _Leve pondus_. I learned it earlier this year, before school. In Diagon Alley." I smiled in surprise. "From Ollivander, actually."

"I don't believe it." Black blurted. "She's lying. That would never work. Plus, charms like that are too advanced for first years."

"She's smart." Potter admitted grudgingly. "She might be able to do it."

I huffed indignantly. "Well, you buffoons, I _did_. I might be horrible at Divination and Potions, but Charms is my specialty. I could even turn your hair pink."

"She can." Remus said, looking proud and amused. "She's always blurting out answers in our class with Flitwick. Drives everyone mad, even Flitwick. And he's the Head of her House."

Blushing, I lowered my wand. "That's not the point. I'm not stupid, even if you two toerags think I am."

"Why do you keep calling us that?" Potter asked, rolling his eyes. "We aren't _that _bad."

"Tell that to the crybaby." I spat, remembering their cruelty that first day on the train. "We aren't friends. You two aren't worth two sickles put together. I don't like bullies, and you two are the definition of jerks."

Sirius put a hand to his heart dramatically. "I'm hurt, Harkstone, I really am. It's going to take me all summer to recover from that one."

Potter laughed while Remus cleared his throat. No sparks fizzled from my wand, but it vibrated angrily in my hand. Even my wand knew when I was being insulted.

"Easy, guys." Remus pacified. "Amber is a friend. She knows about me and my condition."

Potter shut up immediately. Sirius's mouth dropped open. "She _what?_"

"She knows." Remus repeated.

Both boys stared at me, thunderstruck. "You didn't _tell _her, did you?" Potter stammered.

"I kind of pieced it together." I said, squeezing my wand tightly and relaxing. It was a coping mechanism I used often, especially when I was near the two boys. "And he kind of told me. It was a joint effort."

Sirius gaped at me. "And she's okay with this? She's not going to freak out?"

I shrugged. "I'm quite familiar with illness. It's not right to judge someone by what they have instead of by their actions. It's our choices, not our feelings, that make us who we are."

_And you're the kind of girl who promises her younger sister that she'll stay out of trouble… and yet, here you are. Sneaking out of the school _again _and exploring a forbidden place. _With _your two sworn rivals _and _a werewolf, right before the full moon!_

Some person I was.

"She's cool." Sirius said, startling us all. He coughed quickly and added, "But _we _aren't friends."

"Neither are we." Potter agreed. "We're cool with Moony. But not you."

I tossed my hair, rolling my eyes. "Fine with me. I don't associate with people like you anyway."

"Can you three at least agree to a truce?" Remus asked hopefully. "No more fights? You'll have an alliance? But you won't be friends."

"You mean be _civil_?" Potter asked in dismay.

"That's no fun at all!" Sirius complained.

I let out a long sigh of annoyance. "I wouldn't bother asking them, Remus. They aren't the kinds of guys to keep their word."

"We'll make an Unbreakable Vow." Sirius said suddenly. "Right now." There was no humor in his eyes anymore; his gray eyes were hard as steel. He was dead serious.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know that kind of magic?"

Sirius barked a doglike laugh. "Let's just say that I'm not as stupid as _you _think. And my family knows a lot of magic. Dark magic."

I felt a warning tingle in my spine, but I didn't want to lose Remus as a friend. Not after waiting all year for him to finally open up to me. "You know the spell?"

Sirius nodded. "I've seen it done lots of times."

I stared at him, feeling Potter's and Remus's eyes trained on me like sniper guns. Whatever move I made right now would determine how the four of us went on from this moment forward.

I thought of Virginia again, pleading me to be safe and stay out of trouble. I thought of Mum and how much she would disapprove of this. Of Dad, would was so tired from working that he wouldn't even remember this if I told him. He wouldn't notice if I came home covered in tattoos. He was just too tired.

Naomi would probably think I was a genius.

I met Sirius' gaze unflinchingly. What kind of girl was I? What kind of witch? Did I talk the talk? Or did I walk the walk?

"What happens if you break an Unbreakable Vow?" I asked quietly. A cricket chirped again, and then went still. Something crunched quietly.

"You die." Sirius said simply.

The cricket didn't make noise again.

I held out my left hand. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Not your left. Your right. Your wand hand."

Blushing, I lowered my hand and stowed my wand. It vibrated slightly with warmth in my pocket.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked quietly.

I glanced at him. "Why do you ask?"

"The three of us have already done it." Potter said. "Me, Sirius, and Remus."

My stomach writhed like a live animal. Sweat broke out on my palms and I wiped my right hand quickly on my pants leg. My knees were weak, and I wanted to sit down. I wanted more time to think. But there wasn't. Not with these boys all watching me and waiting for me to make this decision.

Sirius stared me down. I couldn't believe that out of the three boys, he wasn't the werewolf. His stare was predatory, analyzing, wild. Wolfish.

What kind of girl was I?

I slowly extended my right hand. Sirius's eyes flicked with surprise, and he clasped his right hand into mine. I had never held hands with a guy, even though this didn't really classify as hand holding, and was surprised at the weight and size difference. His hands were already changing into man's hands, getting wider and longer and rougher. Calluses brushed against my tender palm. His hand slid up my arm and held my wrist. I copied him, my heart pounding crazily in my throat. I wondered if this was how people felt when they got their first tattoos.

"Does it hurt?" I asked nervously as Potter drew out his wand.

"Not even a little." Remus promised as Potter lowered his wand tip onto the middle of our joined hands.

"We kneel." Sirius said quietly as he lowered himself into a half-crouching position. I mirrored his movements. The floor was hard and cold, even through the thick denim of my jeans.

"Will you, Amber Harkstone, ally yourself with myself, Remus, and Sirius?" Potter asked in a low, serious tone. I gasped slightly as a thin stream of painless fire slithered from the tip of his wand and wrapped around our linked hands. It glowed white and red.

"I will." I promised softly. Sirius's gaze bored directly into mine. I glanced at Remus. He looked grim.

I felt a strong pulse of wild panic. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this was a huge mistake after all. But I was like a trapped bird, pounding my wings frantically, trying to escape the cage. I had chosen this, I had chosen this… There was no escape from it…

"Do you promise to keep our secrets and remain loyal, even unto the threat of death?" Potter continued.

"I will." My voice was high and thin. It didn't sound like me at all.

"And will you always be a member of our secret society?" Potter said quietly. "For the rest of your life?"

A sick pounding rang in my ears. I had thought it was for school only… not for the rest of my life…

"James." Remus interrupted. "That's too far."  
"We need to make sure she's loyal to us." Sirius argued, never blinking, gaze never wavering from mine. "There's evil in this world, Remus. We need to make sure she's on our side, not theirs."

"She's too powerful." Potter added. I almost laughed because I thought they were making a joke.

They weren't.

"Do you promise?" Potter said after a moment of quiet. The snake of fire was still wrapped around our joint hands. "Will you always be a member of our group?"

I took a deep breath and jumped off of the ledge that I had suddenly found myself at. "I will."

Potter tapped his wand once against our hands. The fire slowly disappeared into our hands. I could feel it now, hot, branding, like a searing iron. I leapt back, clutching my right arm. I yanked up the jacket sleeve, expecting to see burn marks, but my skin was unharmed.

The burn was real. The Vow was made.

There was no going back now.

"You're the real deal." Sirius said softly, watching me curiously, in awe and in new respect. Potter shared the same look.

"I told you." Remus said, almost sounding smug. He helped me to my feet, my legs still trembling with adrenaline. I stared at the three of them, my new group. My new friends… for life.

No, not friends. Not with Potter and Black. Just allies.

"You can't cry wolf." Sirius reminded me. "Ever."

"I know." I said breathlessly, still rubbing my right arm where the Vow sealed itself into my body, into my blood. I was bound now. Irrevocably. For life.

"We need a name for our group." I said, inspiration striking. It was something Virginia had said months ago after Christmas. Something that seemed so perfect. Especially now.

"We're the Marauders." I tested the name out, smiling. "The Marauders."

Potter and Black looked pleased. Remus grinned. "Well, Harkstone. Let's see what kinds of charms you're made of." He pulled out his wand. "Demonstrate."

I grinned back, flicking my wand at him. "Gladly."

Hours later, the moon was hanging near the tops of the trees. The wind had long since died down. My eyes were beginning to feel heavy, and my arms were sore from so much casting. Even my wand felt fatigued.

"You'd be a good duelist." Sirius panted.

"Or an Auror." Potter suggested. "My dad is an Auror. Dark wizard catcher."

"Maybe." I said, tying my hair back. "We've got years to think about what we want to be when we're grown."

"We should get going, before someone misses us." Remus said, eyeing the moon. "McGonagall does her first rounds at five a.m."

"It's got to be close to four, at least." I observed. "Come on. We don't need to run, but we shouldn't dawdle."

"Who talks like you?" Sirius teased as we all plunged into the tunnel in the first story kitchen. Four wands lit the way, blue-white light obliterating the darkness. I felt giddy, alive with energy. If the Vow was serious, then I would never really be alone again.

I had a friend. And three allies.

"So old-fashioned." Potter added as we trotted down into the earth.

"Shush." Remus silenced us. "We don't want anyone to hear us talking."

"Yes, _Mum_." Sirius drawled as he fell silent. It felt like just minutes later when we emerged near the Willow. Potter pressed a tiny knob near the base of the tree that I hadn't noticed before. The writhing tree stilled instantly as if it had been frozen. The four of us walked quickly back to the tunnel leading into the castle and through the painting.

"See you at breakfast." Sirius said, nodding to me once as he and Potter and Remus split paths with me and headed back to the Gryffindor Common Room. I hurried away the opposite direction, throwing a last glance over my shoulder. Remus tossed a look back, smiling when his eyes found mine.

Then they were gone.

Now that I was alone, I knew I would be in serious trouble if someone found me. Someone like Peeves or McGonagall. Trying to keep my footsteps light, I darted down the long, winding hallways of the castle and threw myself up the Ravenclaw stairs. I took a minute to catch my breath and pushed open the door, which I had left open and unlocked with a marble in the door jamb to keep it from locking. I pulled it out and slipped it into my pocket.

No one was awake.

I clambered back upstairs and silently slipped off my boots. They were caked with mud and dust. I stowed them under my bed and eased myself under the covers. None of the girls stirred.

A huge grin split across my face. _I got away with it._

I turned on my side and stared out of the huge window, watching the moon disappear below the tree line. On the other end of the sky, a faint pale line spread milky fingers upwards. The sun was rising soon.

I'd join the other Marauders at breakfast in a few hours.

I was too excited by the events that had taken place that night to sleep. When the first girl rose from her bed, Amanda Strange, I quickly followed suit. I had forgotten I'd slept in my Muggle clothes. Amanda gave me an odd look as I rummaged for my school clothes.

In the bathroom, I held my right arm up to the light to try and see any scarring or burn marks from the Unbreakable Vow. Nothing was visible, but I knew that like an invisible tattoo, I would carry this with me for the rest of my life. Excitement blended with fear, making a heady combination that made my heart gallop in my chest.

I had done something wrong. Something illegal. And it felt good.

Angelina padded into the bathroom, yawning, her dark hair frizzed up in every direction. "You look like the cat who ate the canary."  
"Do I?" I asked devilishly, not even trying to hide my huge grin.

Angelina stared at me through her puffy eyes. "What did you do, Amber?"

"Nothing." I said airily, fluffing my hair and pulling out a dead leaf from the tresses. "I'm completely innocent."

Angelina rolled her eyes. "As long as it doesn't lose our House points."

I giggled and skipped out of the bathroom and made my way down into the Common Room. Other Ravenclaws were still sluggish with sleep. Some weren't even going to bother with breakfast. Finals were just around the corner, and most had their noses deep inside of their textbooks. Those students were third years and older. A few glanced up at me, probably expecting me to follow suit.

Instead, I left the Common Room and let the door swing shut behind me.

I felt on top of the world. I felt untouchable. I knew about secret tunnels and passages in the school. And only three others knew. We were all bound by our secrets, and it felt so good to be a part of something bigger. Something forbidden and secret from the rest of the world.

I felt dangerous. And I liked it.

I entered the Great Hall, my eyes immediately zeroing in on the Gryffindor table. Remus, Sirius, and Potter were all looking at me. I gave them a smile and sat down next to Lily. She stared at me as if I had grown a second head.

"Did you just… _smile _at James Potter and Sirius Black?"

"Well… Remus was there." I half-lied. "He's my friend. I'm happy to see him. Not them."

Lily studied my face curiously. I sat on my hands so I wouldn't fidget and give myself away. "Are you sure you're alright, Amber? You're acting a little weird."

I couldn't stop thinking about the shack. I met Remus' gaze again and had to bite down a smile.

"Did you and Remus kiss or something?" Lily whispered urgently.

Heat flooded my cheeks. "No!" I shrieked. "Of course not!"

Several people turned and gave me quizzical looks. Lily looked extremely confused.

"You did something." She accused. "What was it?"

"I can't tell you." I said, realizing that if I did, I would die. That sucked the joy and excitement out of me instantly.

She frowned. "You okay? You look a little pale."

I swallowed hard, my throat dry. I washed it down with a glass of water. "I'm fine. I just remembered something serious, that's all."

Lily was quiet. "Well… if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

I hugged her arm. "Thanks, Lily. You're a good friend. It's just something private."

She looked amused. "I understand. Just know I'm here."

Grateful, I hugged her again and tucked into my breakfast. Being up and about for most of the night had triggered my appetite. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until the smell of fresh baked bread and eggs drew me in. I buttered my toast and dunked it into a ripe yellow yolk, releasing the succulent juices. I ate a full plate before reaching for another. Lily inhaled sharply. "Amber, look."

I raised my head, scanning the room. "What?"

She nodded towards staff table. Professor Flitwick was reading a piece of paper. Then he raised his head and stared right at me.

He looked as grim as the overcast sky, threatening rain. Professor Flitwick said something to Professor McGonagall beside him. Her eyes widened and then focused in on me. They said words I couldn't hope to hear from my distance.

"They're staring _right _at you." Lily murmured. "Amber?"

I felt paralyzed with fear. Did they know? The boys couldn't have snitched. The Vow was real. I knew it was. The invisible burn from the thread-like fire was enough to convince me.

Had someone spied on us, someone else?

"Oh no." I whispered in dread. Professor McGonagall swept towards me, her face chiseled out of stone. She halted in front of me. Half of the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables had fallen silent, watching her.

"Miss Harkstone."

I could feel the eyes of several students boring holes in my head. Swallowing against the parching dryness in my throat, I managed a faint, "Yes?"

She let out a small sigh. "Come with me, please."

But I was rooted to the bench. I couldn't make myself move. "Why?"

Professor McGonagall frowned slightly. "I'd rather not discuss this with you in front of the other students, Miss Harkstone."

_Oh, my God._ This was bad. This was really, really bad. I felt my breakfast rising in my throat. I clenched my jaw tight, forcing my food back down.

"You'll need to pack your belongings, Miss Harkstone. You have been dismissed for the remainder of the school year."

A cold stone dropped into the pit of my stomach. My ears pounded with the roar of my blood. I could feel my face draining of color; my hands began to shake.

I was being expelled.

"Come on, dear," Professor McGonagall said gently. "I'll escort you Professor Dumbledore."

I couldn't say anything. I knew if I opened my mouth, I would vomit all over her.

"Please, Professor McGonagall." Lily interrupted. "Let me come with you to help."

Professor McGonagall looked down at her sadly. "I'm afraid not, Miss Evans. The Headmaster requested Miss Harkstone meet with him privately first. Without company."

"Oh." Lily's face fell. She hugged me, her breath falling into my ear. "It's going to be okay, Amber. I promise. I'll come find you before…"

I drew back, staring at her. The dryness had formed into a hard, hot lump. Tears stung my eyes.

Before.

Before I would expelled.

"Come on, dear," Professor McGonagall said again, more urgently, "It's time to go. Come along."

Did all expelled students get treated this nicely?

Slowly, woodenly, I rose to my feet. Now, half of the entire Great Hall was staring at me. I fought the urge to vomit with every ounce of my being. Sick with guilt, sick with fear, I shut my eyes tightly to press back the tears. I followed Professor McGonagall out of the Great Hall. I glanced back over my shoulder once, for the last time. Almost everyone was watching me go. I saw Remus half-rise, looking deeply concerned. Lily said something to him that kept him at bay.

The trembling intensified as I followed Professor McGonagall through the empty halls of Hogwarts. Paintings moved and interacted amongst themselves. I wondered if any of them had ever seen a student get expelled before. Probably. Had they ever seen a Ravenclaw expelled? Definitely a Slytherin.

Professor McGonagall halted outside of a stone gargoyle. "Peach melts."

The statue leapt aside.

"Come along." The Head of Gryffindor instructed, giving me another sad look. Swallowing against the constant threat of tears, I followed her up the spiral stone steps.

My last day here, and I was finally going to see what the Headmaster's office looked like.

The stairs opened up into a cathedral-like room, with high stone pillars and arches. Shelves of books were crammed into the walls, along with mysterious objects of worth to Professor Dumbledore. A bag of opened peach melts sat forgotten on an end table next to an overstuffed armchair.

There was a quiet trill. I turned toward the sound, startled to see a beautiful red bird perched on a brass handle. It was large, the size of Romulus, and looked very intelligent. It was staring right at me with an expression of curiosity and very human-looking eyes.

"Fawkes knows you have a wand made from one of his tail feathers." A deep voice rumbled.

Professor Dumbledore sat into his high-backed chair at a grand oak desk. The seat creaked with age and over-use. He adjusted his half-moon spectacles, offering me a small smile. "Would you care for some dark chocolates, my dear?"

I shook my head, my stomach lurching. "No thank you, sir."

"Please," he said, gesturing to two large chairs before his desk, "Have a seat."

"I don't want to sit." I muttered. "Not if I'm just going to leave."

"Miss Harkstone." Professor McGonagall chided.

Professor Dumbledore held up a hand. "It's quite alright, Professor. Thank you for escorting her here. Would you mind waiting outside for a moment?"

Professor McGonagall's lips were pressed into a thin line. "Of course." She turned on her heel and swept out of the room.

Sweat dripped down my back. "I know why I'm here."

Professor Dumbledore tugged on the end of his long beard. "I believe you are under the wrong pretense, Miss Harkstone. You seem to be under the impression that you are expelled."

I could feel my heart miss a beat. "Impression?"

He nodded, but he wasn't smiling. "Yes. You aren't under any academic parole or suspension, my dear. I called you here to tell you that you will be dismissed from Hogwarts for the remainder of the year, at your parent's request."

None of this made any sense. My head throbbed with the conflicting information and feelings. "So… I'm _not _expelled, but I still have to leave?"

"I wouldn't be too concerned about your grades. You are the top student right now, and your assignments and final tests have been waived. You've put in more than necessary effort into your schooling. Your teachers and I feel this is fair."

I took a deep breath, the stress already melting away. "Okay… but I'm going home early. Why? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing that I know of, my dear." Professor Dumbledore assured me. "Unless, there's something you wish to tell me."

I thought of sneaking out to the Shack with the Marauders. Of the Unbreakable Vow. Even if I wanted to tell him, I couldn't. I would die.

"No, sir." I answered quietly.

He nodded a few times. "I see."

I couldn't look at him.

"Your father has arrived to bring you home." Professor Dumbledore said. "Professor McGonagall will escort him in."

"Are we going to have a parent teacher conference?" I asked, still confused. "Why does he need to be here?"

At that moment, the door burst open. I flipped around in my chair, staring at Professor McGonagall, who had her wand drawn and pointing straight at my father.

He stuffed his wand into his jacket pocket clumsily. He looked awful. His face was drawn and pale with pallor. His eyes were puffy and he looked like he hadn't slept in a hundred years. A prickle of warning crept along my spine. He looked like a dead man walking.

"Dad?" I said uneasily. "What's wrong?"

Dad was panting slightly. He looked at me strangely, as if noticing me for the first time. Professor Dumbledore was watching him carefully.

"Amber," Dad mumbled. His voice was raw and thin. The hair on the back of my neck rose.

"What's wrong?" I said immediately, alarmed. "What's happened? Is Mom gone? Did she… did she leave?"

Dad shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand. "No, honey. Your mom isn't gone."

A wave of relief washed over me. "Oh, good. You scared me." I frowned, the relief evaporating like morning mist when I noticed his red eyes, his fresh tears. "What's wrong, Dad? Why do I have to leave Hogwarts?"

Dad bit his lower lip, swallowing hard. "It's your sister, Amber. She's gone."

The only sound in the room was Fawkes, cooing softly, mournfully. I stared at my father, sure I heard him wrong. "Naomi got lost? She ran away?"

Dad passed a shaking hand over his face, choking on a sob. "No, Amber. Virginia is dead."


	14. Year 2: The House of Black

The graveyard stood silent in the night. Fog lifted from the damp grass, ghostly, wet and white, clinging to the headstones and muffling the sound of footsteps approaching. Several tall figures dressed in black swept silently over the yard of the dead, their faces shrouded by ghastly white masks. They were like hornets drawn back into the hive, each one honed in on their master.

A huge mansion stood alone on the crest of a hill, overlooking over a distant village that glowed with hundreds of tiny lights like fireflies. The figures filed into the decrepit house, the tired floorboards creaking with each step. A rat skittered across the feet of one figure. A flash of green light stopped the rat from moving ever again. It was kicked aside and hit the baseboards with a dull thud.

The black figures entered a spacious dining room. A long, scarred wooden table that hadn't been eaten at in decades still held a bowl of plastic decorative fruit, but it was covered in thick cobwebs and layers of dust. The figures sat down at the table, each chair filled by a silent body. The head chair was still empty.

Minutes passed by in total silence. No one cleared their throat or coughed. No one sneezed, in spite of the heavy, dust-filled air.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."

A few of the figures flinched as a tall, pale man lowered himself into the high-backed, throne-like chair at the head of the table. A huge brown snake hissed and curled around his shoulders like a scarf. He stroked her diamond-shaped head, his fingers cold as the dead that lay outside of the house under the dirt.

"I have to admit… I am impressed." The man said in a high voice. "I never expected so many of you to turn up. I never expected how deep your loyalty would run."

A few heads nodded. Their faces were still masked by those white faces.

"It has come to my attention that the Ministry may be onto us." The man went on. "A Mr. Vincent Backe is making quiet the ruckus about me in the Daily Prophet. Lucius, I believe you, being co workers with this fine, well-educated writer, wouldn't mind arranging a little chat with him?"

"No, my Lord." One of the closer figures answered. "I will speak with him tomorrow morning."  
"And you will do well to make sure he doesn't speak again." The Dark Lord insisted. "It is bad enough to have Eugenia Jenkins sniffing around where her nose doesn't belong. The last thing we need is to attract attention."

"I will be discreet, my Lord." Lucius promised.

"Very good." The Dark Lord commended. He leaned back in his back, his gaze sweeping the length of the table. "Now, I wonder how evangelical you have all been. Bellatrix, you and Lestrange have done well in my bid for the aid of the Giants."

One of the figures, the closest to him, shivered in delight. "Anything for you, my Lord." She gushed.

The Dark Lord nodded once, pleased. "Excellent." He surveyed the room again, frowning slightly. "Now… perhaps I have not been clear enough… We are looking for aid for every walk of life. Werewolves, vampires, giants, purebloods, half-bloods.

"I also need to remind you that we must focus not just on ourselves… but also on the younger generation."

"Those at Hogwarts?" One of the shrouded figures asked.

The Dark Lord gave a ghost of a smile. "Yes, exactly, Hastings. We much reach these young people. They are our future."

"I know of the perfect one for you, My Lord." The female Death Eater blurted. "He's my cousin. He might be young, my Lord, but I assure you, he is willing."

"My son is as well." Another voice, male, said. "He is in Slytherin."

"As is mine." A second father added.

The Dark Lord looked pleased. He skimmed his long fingers against the slippery scales of his snake, who hissed once.

"Well done, Mulciber and Avery. And thank you, Bellatrix. Please, tell me the name of your cousin. I seem to have forgotten his name."

"Sirius Black," she quickly informed him, "and his younger brother Regulus. They're both at Hogwarts now. Regulus will be a first year."

A distant roll of thunder shook the frame of the old abode. A flash of lightning briefly illuminated the face of the Dark Lord, throwing his once-handsome features into grotesque relief. He studied the faces of his most devoted followers. He could picture more of them, in much tinier, younger versions. He grinned now, an ugly distortion of what a smile was meant to be. There was no humanity left in the man. Only evil.

"Thank you, Bella. I am pleased to thank your family for such devoted service to me."

The female Death Eater sighed in delight. "Yes, my Lord. The House of Black is completely yours. We will follow you wherever you wish."

Lightning flashed again. A crash of thunder made the fine, dusty china in a cabinet rattle. The Dark Lord rose slowly. "The rest of you… make sure you gather the faithful. If it's a war we must wage, then it is a war we must prepare for."

Thunder exploded again. When the next lightning bolt forked across the sky, the house was dark and empty once again. Black.

They were gone.


	15. Dearly Departed

Dead.

Dead, as in the act of dying. The end of life. The total and permanent cessation of all vital functions of an organism.  
Dead, as in no longer living. Deprived of life.  
Dead.

I wasn't aware of anything but the sound of the phoenix, Fawkes, making that sad, slow, cooing. Mourning. Mourning over someone he didn't even know.  
Stupid bird. Stupid, dumb, fat, red bird.

I wasn't aware of anything else in that office. I felt disconnected, as if someone had turned off the emotions inside of me, rendering me cold and frigid. Blank. Empty.

If I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't feel the pain.

I was on autopilot as I walked past Dad, who was still and crying into his hands. Past McGonagall, who said something I didn't hear and didn't care about. I found my way back into the Ravenclaw Common Room and packed my few belongings. I brought the enchanted suitcase down to the entrance of the castle. Professor Dumbledore awaited me, my father standing at his side. My father gave a small, watery smile, but his red eyes betrayed how he really felt.

"My greatest condolences, Miss Harkstone," Professor Dumbledore said, looking as sorrowful as my father. "It is never easy losing a younger sister."

"You would know?" I said, my voice monotone, robotic. Not mine.

The Headmaster patted my shoulder. "Hogwarts looks forward to your return in the fall."

I nodded once. Four whole months away from this place.

Four whole months at home.

A sharp pang twisted in my gut. I grimaced at the pain. I didn't want to leave this place. I didn't want to go back to the farmhouse, where one of the rooms would be empty. Where the silence would be deafening. Where grief overruled everything else.

I didn't want to go.

Dad picked up my charmed suitcase and walked wordlessly out of the castle by my side. He sniffled every few seconds, wiping his nose with his left sleeve every minute. He slowed to match my pace all the way down to Hogsmeade.

"How are we getting back?" I asked tonelessly. 'Home' didn't seem like an appropriate noun anymore.

"I drove." Dad said, jangling a set of keys. "The old blue truck. The Ford."

"Oh."

Dad placed the luggage in the bed of the powder-blue truck. "I thought it would be better than a Portkey or the Floo Network."

I climbed into the front seat, the cracked tan leather scraping the back of my thighs. I was still wearing my school clothes. I loosened the blue and bronze tie and placed it on the space beside me. Then I wrapped the soft fabric around and around my palm, pleating and folding it.

Dad turned the key in the ignition. The truck coughed and refused to start. Dad cursed so violently that I stared at him, wide-eyed, as if seeing him for the first time.

Dad shook his head, biting his lower lip. I noticed that he had facial hair, as if he hadn't shaved in awhile. "You look and talk like a homeless bum."

Dad shut his eyes. "I'm sorry, Amber. I can't…"

Silent, I pulled out my wand and waved it once. "_Initium_."

The car roared to life.

Dad blinked. "Where on _earth _did you learn that spell?"

"In the Restricted Section." I confessed without missing a single beat. "_Lesser Known Spells for Muggle Interactions, _James Brown."

Dad turned a knob on the faceplate of the stereo. The Beatles filled the cabin of the truck as Dad rolled down the dirt roads. It wasn't as grand of a journey as the Hogwarts Express, but I didn't care about that. I didn't care about anything.

"What were you doing in the Restricted Section?" Dad asked after ten minutes.

"Reading."

He sighed. "I got this car from the Ministry as a present for fifteen years in service to them. They never told me that spell for starting it. I guess I never thought of such a simple spell to get this thing going."

"That's why I'm a Ravenclaw and you were a Hufflepuff."

A muscle jerked in Dad's cheek, but he didn't say a word. Instead he turned up the volume so that the windows vibrated with the sound waves. I swallowed against the persistent dryness in the back of my throat. I thought of what my friends and what Remus and Lily would be doing right now. If McGonagall told them. If they cared that I was gone.

Of course they cared.

I leaned my forehead against the humming glass, watching the Grampian Mountains slowly pass by as Dad navigated the truck through old country roads. I forced myself to think about anything _but _home.

_Manticores are charm-repelling creatures with human faces, lion's bodies, and scorpion's tails. They are capable of human speech._

_ The Patronum Charm is the most famous and one of the most difficult charms in the wizarding world. It protects against lethifolds and dementors._

_ An Animagus is a witch or wizard who can morph themselves into an animal at will. This is a learned skill, unlike Metamorphagus, who are born with the ability._

_ The House of Ravenclaw is known for their intelligence, creativity, wit, wisdom, originality, individuality, and acceptance._

I shut my eyes tightly. Virginia wasn't dead. She couldn't be. There was some kind of mistake. Or a cruel joke.

But the truth lay like a heavy stone in my stomach. It pressed down on my heart like the crushing weight of the lake on the floor of sand and stone it covered. She was dead. She was gone.

No. No no no. She couldn't be. She wasn't.

_The House of Gryffindor is known for their nerve, chivalry, courage, daring, willpower, and bravery._

Why couldn't I be both Houses? Why did I have to choose?

_Accept that your sister is dead. You are a Ravenclaw._

I slowly opened my eyes. Tears blurred my vision, but I refused to let them fall.

_I'm not just a Ravenclaw. I'm a Gryffindor, too. _

I took a deep breath. My sister was dead.

She was dead, and I knew it.

A gaping hole opened up in my chest, raw and burning and all-consuming. I closed off my eyes and ears to the world, shutting out the truck, shutting out Dad, shutting out everything but the face of my blonde, sweet sister, who had fought so hard for so long and was now finally at peace.

She was gone, but she wouldn't be forgotten.

_I am accepting. And I am brave._

The truck rolled to a stop just after noon. The hens were pecking at the dirt, scratching for grubs and worms. Little yellow and brown puffs of feathers huddled under them. Chicks. Pink buds burst into blossoms on the trees. Bees buzzed around, pollinating every flower they could smell.

Spring was in full swing.

How ironic, how much life there was, when death covered the little yellow farmhouse like a burial shroud.

Dad cleared his throat as he killed the engine. "I'll be inside with your mother."

I nodded once. When I spoke, my voice was hoarse, like I hadn't used it in years. "Where is she?"

"With your sister. She… went here. She was fine one day and then the next morning…" He couldn't finish.

My throat swelled shut with unshed tears. I left my suitcase behind and walked into the barn alone. Soren would be arriving tonight. He would nest here, out where the air was fresh and the prey plentiful.

One of the horses was in his stall. He munched his hay noisily, fixing his liquid brown eyes on me.

"Hey, James Dean." I said softly, stroking his white blazed nose. He was a big red gelding. I had helped Dad deliver him six years ago.

People were born. People died.

I saddled him up while he ate his hay. I tore off my flowing black robes, revealing my plain Muggle attire beneath. The same I had worn last night.

Last night. The Shack. The Vow. It seemed so long ago, a different place and time. I rubbed my right arm, where the vow had been sealed into me. Maybe if I blurted out the truth to James Dean, I would die, too. Just like that.

Coldness seeped into my flesh. _No. _I couldn't ever think like that. Virginia wouldn't have wanted it that way. Life was meant to be celebrated, not mourned.

So why did I feel so terrible?

I swung up onto the back of James Dean and guided him out of his stall. The chickens scattered from his hooves, clucking to their chicks in warning. The field of waving green grass beckoned me. I dug my heels into James Dean's sides, who reared back slightly and galloped forth. The ground disappeared in a green blur beneath me. The wind played with the long tendrils of my hair. Tears streamed from my eyes as the sweet aroma of spring filled my senses. Flowers, so many flowers. _Virginia loves flowers._

Loved.

I realized then that she would never again leave cut flowers arranged in a glass vase in the center of the kitchen table. Never again would she walk down the stairs in her pajamas and inquire about breakfast. Never again would she spend one day a week with the town healer. Never again would she and Naomi and I get dressed up together for church or a wedding. Never again would I hear her soft voice, see her sky-blue eyes filled with silent appreciate and awe for the little things in life. Never again would I talk to my sister or feel her arms around me in a hug.

She was gone. And I would never get her back.

I was crying quietly, dignified, the way I knew people cried at funerals. But the more I thought of Virginia and how I'd never see her again or talk to her again, the real pain pushed forth, like a wounded animal breaking free of a trap. James Dean slowed to a stop in a beautiful field of wildflowers. I jumped off and collapsed, screaming. I sobbed so hard I couldn't breathe. Water poured from my eyes and my nose. I curled on my side, letting the grief out and honoring the horrible truth.

Virginia was dead.

Dead.

When James Dean had eaten his fill of grass and I had hiccupped myself into silence, I rode him back to the farmhouse to face my family. The sky was dimming, the first star glimmering near the full moon, but I doubted my parents would notice my absence.

_The full moon._ My heart squeezed. Remus. He was going to transform tonight. Somewhere, seventy or so miles from here, his skin was literally turning itself inside out, letting the beast within burst free.

I clenched my hand into a fist. How painful must that be? All alone, with absolutely nothing to dull the pain or ease the transformation? I felt sympathy for him, helpless to do anything but feel worse than bad.

I cleaned off James Dean and hung up his saddle with the others. After a moment, I decided the barn was filthy and the most important thing to do, more than anything, was to clean it. I dusted, brushed, swept and mucked. I organized every piece of tack and supply that lived in the barn. I cooped up the chickens and cupped each tiny chick in my palm, listening to them peep and squeak. One of them, a little white one, like a snowball, yawned and fell asleep in my hands.

I sat out in the clean barn until the cold mountain air made it impossible to sit still without shivering. Placing the baby chicken carefully beside its mother, I locked up the barn and plodded into the farmhouse. The full moon illuminated the path in bright silver light. I retrieved my suitcase from the bed of the truck, wondering how Remus was doing.

Inside, a fire crackled in the hearth, casting warmth throughout the bungalow. Dad sat on the couch, a book splayed open on his lap, but he was staring into the flames, unseeing. I left my shoes by the side on a black tray and went upstairs.

I didn't want to do it, but I knew I needed to. I needed to see Virginia's room. I left the suitcase in my doorway and walked down the creaking hall. I poked my head in Naomi's room. Toys and books were scattered across the floor on the flower-printed rug. She was nowhere to be seen.

Heart pounding, I pushed open the door to Virginia's bedroom. I gasped, clapping a hand to my mouth as tears sprang to my eyes.

She lay on her bed, still and white. Her waifish body was bathed in the silvery light of the moon, which streamed in through her window, the curtains pushed aside. She wore her blue pajamas, the matching top and bottom with yellow rubber duckies printed on them. Virginia's white-blonde hair was spilling out of her messy bun. She looked so peaceful, so serene, that I half-expected her to rise sleepily and ask what time it was.

Thirty-seconds ticked by and she didn't move. Her chest did not rise or fall. I knew in my heart that she was gone. That this wasn't really her. It was just a shell of who she used to be.

I entered the room quietly, as if walking on holy ground. Virginia didn't stir. At her bedside, I reached down and touched her arm softly. I flinched back. She was cold. Cold as snow.

She really was dead.

I studied her face. She was no longer in the clutches of her illness, which had plagued her for almost her entire life. Virginia was free. She was in a better place now. Even though it hurt, hurt so bad, and I didn't understand why she had to leave, I felt the first flutter of peace.

The last thing I had said to her was 'I love you'. Virginia had died knowing that I cared about her. That I loved her. Even though I hadn't gotten to say goodbye, in a way, I had.

That was more than I could have asked for.

I moved to slip my hand into hers, but noticed, for the first time, a slumped-over figure spread over my sister. I drew back, repulsed.

"Mum?"  
The figure lifted her head slowly. She had been sleeping against the bed, bent forward, her hand in Virginia's. Her long brown hair was tangled and unkempt. She blinked several times, her eyes puffy and swollen. She squinted at me, her blue eyes – Virginia's eyes – startling against the contrast of red, where he eyes used to be white.

If I thought Dad looked terrible, Mum looked downright hellish.

I took another step back. "Mum."

Mum's eyes wandered around the room. Seeing nothing. Registering nothing.

The lights were on, but no one was home.

"Mum." I repeated. "Mum, can you hear me?"

"I need to be with your sister." Mum mumbled, brushing back a tendril of brown hair, which had come loose from its front braid. "I need to be with her."

Something was off. I could sense that Mum had been standing on the precipice of something high and dangerous, and that somehow, Virginia's passing had pushed her over the edge. I took another careful step back. It reminded me of when I had encountered the coyote in the field behind the house back in September, when Romulus had defended me.

There was no one to defend me now. I had to protect myself.

"Mum, where is Naomi?" I asked carefully.

Mum blinked owlishly. "I don't know."

She turned and fixed those horrible eyes on me. She didn't even look like my mother anymore. She looked like something that had clawed its way through a grave, through a nightmare. "Why are you here?"

I swallowed. "Because I live here."

Mum turned and focused on Virginia's body. She stroked a tender hand down my sister's cheek. "No, you don't."

My heart pounded in my chest. I wished I wasn't under the same roof as her. I wished I was back in Hogwarts, waiting to help Remus when he returned to his real self. The only monster tonight was the one sitting in a chair in front of me.

"You don't live here." Mum repeated. "You don't matter."

My throat closed. Fighting tears, I slowly closed the door. "_Colloportus_," I whispered, sealing her inside.

I walked back downstairs, shaken, pretending I could dislodge what I had just seen. "Dad."

Dad didn't move.

Panic made my palms sweat and my heart race. "_Dad._"

Dad looked over, sallow-faced. But sane.

Slightly relieved, I cleared my throat. "Where's Naomi?"

Dad sighed, rubbing his temples. "With your grandparents. They're coming by tomorrow for the funeral."

_For the funeral. _My chest squeezed tight.

"Thanks." I said, going back upstairs to my room. I sealed that door as well. I didn't want my mother coming in later, for any reason.

I sat on the edge of my bed, listening to the silence of the house. If Virginia were alive, it wouldn't have been much different. But I would have known she was in the other room, reading or sleeping. Breathing. Alive.

Instead, her body lay like an empty husk on her bed. With our mother refusing to let her go, even in death.

* * *

Seventy-three people were present at Virginia's funeral. I counted them as they filed in, dressed in various black clothes. Some women wore veils. Others wore heels. Many wore dresses. The men all wore tuxedos.

My father's parents did not say much. Naomi walked in with them, looking lost and confused. I went to her quickly, exhaling with relief when she ran into my arms. She clung to me tightly, shaking. "Amber."

"I'm here, Ny. It's okay." I pulled back, trying to smile for her, trying to be brave. Her huge green eyes were filled with tears.

"Is she really gone?" Naomi whimpered.

I brushed back a lock of her curly brown hair. "Yes, sweetheart. She's gone."

Naomi's lower lip quivered. I enveloped her in a hug again, tears slipping down my cheeks.

"I miss her." Naomi whispered against my neck. "I don't want her to go."

I rubbed her back gently. "I know, Ny."

I caught Dad watching us. His face was blank, expressionless. Then he softened. He looked like he aged a hundred years in an instant. He spoke quietly to his parents then, his gaze diverted away.

I knew where Mum would be. My eyes zeroed in on the front row of chairs, and sure enough, there was our mother, planted in a chair, leaning forward, eyes only for the open casket, where our sister's body lay.

Members of our family and my parents' friends moved in a slow procession to the casket and then to their chairs. Naomi sniffled, wiping her eyes.

"I want to see her." She said quietly.

I nodded once. "Are you sure?"

Naomi took my hand and dutifully walked toward the front of the church. I had to slow down my pace to match hers, which I didn't mind. The stained glass windows let rainbow-colored light pour in, the multi-colored sunbeams touching patches of the church to spots of heaven.

I inhaled softly. Virginia was there now, in Heaven. She was in a better place. My heart ached for her, but part of me still felt numb. Felt as if everything was being subdued.

I knew eventually the full brunt of the pain would come. But not now. Not today.

I had to be strong for Naomi. For the rest of my family.

"Come on, love," I encouraged quietly as we neared the coffin, "almost there."

Naomi wobbled closer. She took a hesitant step up, and then looked down at our sister. I followed her gaze into the casket.

Virginia looked as peaceful as she did yesterday. A small smile was on her face. Her lips had been painted with rouge, her eyes done-up with mascara and kohl. She had never worn make-up before, but now, she would be buried in it.

Her blonde hair had been curled and arranged into a soft pile on her head. She wore a powder-blue dress that she had worn once, to our aunt's wedding last summer. Tears rose at the memory.

"You're wearing her necklace that she gave you." Naomi observed. "It looks pretty."

I thought about what she said. Then I unclasped the opal necklace and started to put it around Virginia's neck instead.

Naomi caught my arm, surprising me. Her green eyes were boring into mine. "No."

"Naomi, I want her to have it. It belongs with her."

Naomi shook her head. "She gave it to you. Remember? It was a gift." She sniffled. "If you don't want it, I do. It's a part of her."

Heart squeezing at her words, I gently pulled back the necklace and fastened it back around my own neck. It rested against my sternum, the pale green jewels glittering like the moon.

"She wanted you to have it." Naomi said solemnly. "It looks pretty."

Throat tight again, I clasped Naomi's hand and pulled a pink rose bud from the pocket of my dress. I laid it in the flaxen tresses of Virginia's hair, and gently brushed my index finger against it. The little pink flower opened like a many-lipped oyster.

"She'd like that." Naomi commented. "She liked flowers."

I squeezed her tiny hand, so small in my own. "I know, Ny."

Naomi blew Virginia a kiss. "I love you, Ginny." Looking sad, she turned and guided me away from the casket.

"I love you too, Virginia." I added as I let my sister lead me away from the chairs, which were filling quickly. She led me to the back of the church and up the stairs to the second floor. She sat down on the place normally reserved for the choir singers. Up here, we could look down on everyone.

"I like this spot." I said quietly, watching a speck of dust float by, glowing white in the sunlight.

Naomi nodded once, looking down at the casket. From here, Virginia looked asleep. Like this was just a dream she was sleeping through.

"I like it because this is how she sees us." Naomi explained, untying one of the green ribbons in her hair and letting it float to the floor. "From Heaven. She's an angel now."

It was a reminder that this wasn't a dream after all. This was real. Virginia wasn't laying down there in the soft folds of white silk; she was somewhere else completely, somewhere none of us had ever been.

"Are you afraid of dying?" Naomi asked, leaning against me. "Do you think Virginia was?"  
I watched Mum fold in on herself. Even from here, I could hear her weeping. The pastor began his eulogy, one of our aunts gently playing the piano behind him. Sniffles punctuated the air. Below us, people grieved over someone who wasn't with us anymore. Someone who was freed from her suffering and her pain. Someone who had been our beloved sister for ten years.

I put an arm around Naomi's shoulder, bonding us close together. "I'm not afraid, because I believe in love. Virginia is safe."

"But we aren't happy." Naomi said as Mum let out a keening wail.

I hugged my remaining sister close, promising then to never let any harm come to her that I could prevent. I would save her. Virginia would have wanted us to come together, not apart. Not splitting at the seams like Mum.

"Love is patient, love is kind," I said, echoing the pastor, who spoke in spite of Mum's distended grief, "it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." I pulled my little sister close. "Love never fails."  
Naomi was silent, watching the pastor finish Virginia's eulogy. Four of our uncles rose to bear her coffin outside. Dad said she was going to buried in the backyard, under a willow tree. Mum wanted her close by. Even though she wasn't really there anymore.

"I'm going to miss her." Naomi murmured as the funeral procession filed out of the church doors. "I hope she knows that."

I felt a little piece of my heart leave with the coffin. I touched the opal necklace softly, committing Virginia to memory. Vowing to never forget her, or her life, and how it shaped mine. Promising to always carry this little part of her with me. For the rest of my life.  
"She knew, Ny. She knew."


	16. The Flowery Tomb

The day after Virginia's funeral and burial, an owl arrived from Hogwarts. My owl. Soren fluttered onto my outstretched arm, a makeshift perch, a letter clutched in his beak. I removed it carefully, breaking open the seal and recognizing Lily's handwriting instantly.

_Dear Amber,_

_ Professor McGonagall won't tell me why you left, only that it was a family emergency. Are you alright? Remus is worried too. Is your sister okay? Please write back soon and let me know what is going on. I won't tell Remus if you don't want me to._

_ Love,_

_ Lily_

Tears welled in my eyes at the mention of my sister. _No, she's not fine,_ I wanted to retort, _she's dead, in fact._

But it wasn't Lily's fault that Virginia had died. No, if anything was to blame, it was that wretched, evil illness that had died nameless with her.

Wiping my tears, I rose to my feet. Soren lifted off into the air, swooping into the barn. I had been sitting next to Virginia's grave for hours, trying to accept the fact that she lay down there beneath the soft, freshly-turned earth. I stared at the mound of brown loam, trying to come to terms with it. But it was just so impossible, so despicable that my sister should be shoved under a pile of dirt like a potato or a dead animal.

I walked upstairs briskly, passing my parent's room. Dad was at work. He worked far too frequently before. Now, I had a feeling I'd see him only sparingly, perhaps a few times a month or less. He was a workaholic and now, he'd be distracted himself from reality in any way that he could.

Mum was still laying in bed, a hump under the covers. It was well past noon. I carefully shut the door, sealing her out of my life and Naomi's, who was with our grandparents for the next week. Dad said he wanted to give Mum time to compose herself. I had told him not to hold his breath.

At my desk, I quickly scrawled out a message to Lily.

_Dear Lily,_

_ I still don't really believe it myself. But_

I put the quill down, still. My heartbeat pulsed in my throat; I could feel fresh tears welling. I didn't want to write it down. If I did, it would make it more real.

_…but she is gone. She passed away. Her funeral was yesterday. I am okay._

I bit my lip, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

_I am okay. __I don't know what to do. I just wish I could turn back time. Please keep in contact with me this summer._

_ Love, Amber_

I hurried sealed the letter inside of an envelope. I scrawled her name across the front, along with the school's address, and brought it into the barn. Soren was resting on a wooden beam, his eyes closed. I left the letter beside him, knowing he'd be smart enough to know what to do with it when he woke up.

The April sun beat down on the grass outside. The spring rains had drenched the grounds, making the green burst with vibrancy and life. My eyes traveled to the sprawling willow tree, so tame and docile compared to the Murder Tree at Hogwarts, and its hump of dark earth. Her body was under there. Virginia's body.

The willow. The Murder Tree.

"_Some folks call it the Murder Tree because they say it's cursed. They say if you best a Whomping Willow, it'll lay a curse on you. Someone in your life will die before the next full moon."_

I had gotten past that tree the night before the full moon. Virginia had died that same night.

I fell to my knees, staring at nothing. The blood roared in my ears. My vision shimmered black at the edges.

I had killed my sister.

_No. No, it was just a stupid legend. She died because of her illness, not because of something that you did._

But I remembered how healthy she had been just before I returned to school after my extended winter break. She had been glowing with health. She hadn't even seen the town healer in a month.

But it wasn't right. It didn't add up. Feeling sick, I remembered what Dad said in the drive home.

_"She… went here. She was fine one day and then the next morning…"_

A choked half-sob, half-scream wrenched itself free from my throat. I clapped my hand over my mouth, horrified.

I had done this. This was my fault.

Virginia was dead. Because of me. Because I had gotten past that stupid, horrible, dumb tree.

The guilt and realization hit me like a bolt of lightning. Dizzy with the rush of horror and disgust, I couldn't move. Already on my knees, my hands dropped to the dusty ground of the barn floor. I screamed so hard my throat went raw. It burned like fire, how the Vow had when it sealed itself into me for life.

_My fault! My fault, my fault, my fault! _My sister was dead because of my foolishness! And she had warned me to be careful.

And had I listened?

_You never listen. _I thought miserably as I stumbled to my feet, shaking hard. _You never listen to what others tell you. And then you come crying to them later, admitting you were wrong._

Except I couldn't come to Virginia. I couldn't apologize to her, because she was dead. Because of me.

Desperate to do something, anything, I snatched a small shovel from the wall and the wheelbarrow. I pushed it over the bumpy terrain out into the field of wildflowers, far from the farmhouse. I faintly remembered the coyote and the danger I was out here, alone, but I didn't care. I welcomed the chance that something bigger and hungrier than me would find me and end my selfish, stupid life.

I found a clump of wild white and pink roses growing at the edge of the field. I dug them up carefully, so that the roots weren't damaged. I dumped them into the belly of the wheelbarrow and added bluebells, peonies, poppies, daisies, Indian's paintbrush, and buttercups. Beautiful, simple wildflowers. The kinds that Virginia would have wanted in her room and in her dream home one day.

I wheeled them back to the house. My hands stung and my throat burned, but I hardly noticed. The mound of dirt covered my dead sister sat like an ugly brown log. I grabbed the rosebushes – thorns and all – and planted them right over the top. I had grown up on this farm, caring for animals, growing vegetables, tending flower gardens. I lost myself in the past of simpler and younger times, letting my muscle memory take over while I focused on my goal: making Virginia's final resting place a spot worthy of her.

The flowers broke up the monotony of the brown. They flecked and spotted her grave with life and beauty. The mad racing of my heart slowed, the war drum in my ears ebbed away into nothing. I lined the edges of her grave with smooth gray stones, numbing myself to the fact that she wouldn't be needing any of this if I had just ignored that stupid willow in the first place. If I hadn't overcome it.

A gentle breeze drifted through the grounds, brushing the long tendrils of the willow leaves against my shoulder. I flinched back. Why. Why had they chosen _this _tree to bury her under? A willow, of all things?

"She loved willows." I whispered aloud, realizing this had been a choice in consideration of her feelings. She loved willow trees and unicorns. She loved the color blue, too.

I carefully planted another patch of bluebells among the other flowers. She needed it. Something blue. She'd never have another chance in her life to need something blue. She would never marry. Or have children.

Because of me.

"I'm sorry." I murmured as I ran my hand along the rough edges of willow bark. "I'm sorry, Virginia."

And for the first time since I had learned of my sister's death, I wondered if God would have taken me instead if I had only offered to take her place.

* * *

April burst into May, bringing more sunlight and more flowers. May warmed into June, thunder and lightning an everyday occurrence as the humid summer air fed the cold winds blowing off of the Grampian mountains.

Mum didn't come out of her room. She didn't come out of the house.

I saw Dad once a week, as I had predicted. He stayed at work so often that it wasn't uncommon for him to stay overnight at a hotel in London, forsaking the farmhouse altogether. Naomi stayed with our grandparents for the remainder of the summer. With Mum out of commission, the household and farm chores fell to me. In the morning, I rose to collect the eggs and muck the stalls. I cooked myself breakfast. I went into town with money Dad left for me and bought groceries from the market. I exercised the animals and cleaned the house. I even used magic to help me, not giving a single crap if the Ministry of Magic threw me out of school for using my wand to dust the shelves or chase crickets from the kitchen.

Lily wrote often. Most days I found myself looking forward to opening her latest letter from home. Remus even sent a note, twice a month, never mentioning my sister. Lily, as promised, hadn't told anyone.

The few times that I did have to myself were spent reading through my textbooks. In July, an owl arrived from Hogwarts. Mum, who hadn't emerged from her cocoon of grief in months, didn't open it. Dad didn't have time. I broke the seal myself and soaked up every word from the school I longed to return to.

_Dear Miss Harkstone,_

_Congratulations on your re-admission to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For nearly 1000 years, Hogwarts has proudly welcomed back students to continue their education, and we are excited for you to be part of this great tradition. As a member of the Class of 1978, you will join a dynamic student community in a place of endless opportunities. Hogwarts offers an unparalleled setting for the next chapter of your life._

_We were impressed by your academic achievements and believe strongly in your potential for continued success. You are a remarkable individual, and we are confident that you will make a lasting contribution to Hogwarts and to the world._

_The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry welcomes you, and I personally look forward to greeting you on campus. Please find enclosed a list of supplies needed for your second year at Hogwarts. Term begins 1 September 1971. If you have any questions or concerns, please send an owl at your earliest convenience._

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress_  
_Head of Gryffindor House_

Well. It was some good news. It was better than a rejection letter.

I laughed once without humor. I had been so afraid of being expelled from this school. So afraid of failing. Now, I was one of the top students academically. I had found out from Lily that Gryffindor had won the House Cup, but very narrowly. My absence in classes had given her the edge to earn more points, and Ravenclaw had lost by a hair to them.  
I was readmitted to Hogwarts. I was going back.

If Virginia had been alive, she would have been receiving her acceptance letter to Hogwarts. She would have been going with me on the Hogwarts Express in London. I would have watched her sit on the stool in front of the entire school and have that ratty old Sorting Hat placed on her hair. She would have most likely gone to Hufflepuff.  
She would have been in school with me. She would have known Remus. The two sick children. They might have even become more than friends, years down the line.  
I dropped the letter into the fireplace, which I had swept clean just this morning. _"Incendio," _I said softly, and watched it burn.

* * *

That night, Dad came home. His eyes were shot and he stank of something sour and intoxicating. I watched him stumble out of the fireplace and kick aside the burned crisp that was left of my letter.

"Lena?" Dad slurred. "LENA!"  
I stared at Dad, wide-eyed. I had never seen him like this. Not in all eleven years of my life.

"LENA!" Dad shouted, making me jump. My feet were frozen to the floor. What was wrong with him? Was he under some kind of spell?

There was a creaking overhead. Then the sound of moving footsteps. A haggard figure plodded down the stairs.

I let out a soft gasp. I hadn't seen my mother often, only in brief glimpses when she left her room to eat or shower. But she clearly spent most of her time sleeping or crying. Her once-shiny brown hair was lank and stringy and was even shot through with a few strands of silver. Her heart-shaped face was lined with wrinkles and creases where her grief had gone stretching her skin. She had aged fifteen years in just a few months.

"Walter." Mum said in surprise. Her voice didn't sound the same. It was raw, gravelly, older. Tired. World-weary. It was the kind of voice I heard when Grandma talked.

Fear jolted through my system. The light of the full moon streamed in, bright and clean. I wondered how Remus was faring. If his plight was anything like what I was experiencing.

Dad swayed on his feet. "What the hell are you doing, Lena? You're in your pajamas and it's almost ten at night. You've been in bed all day, huh?"

Mum stared at Dad. "You've been drinking."

_Drinking_. Dad was drinking. Drinking what?

Dad laughed. The sound raised the hair on the back of my neck. "Have to. Have to be able to forget what a sorry excuse of a wife I married. Couldn't even take care of our kids. Let one of them die. Completely ignored the other two."

Mum's eyes widened in shock, as if he'd hit her. Her pale skin paled to dangerous white. "How dare you."

Dad swung around, pointing a sloppy finger at me. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked deranged. I took a step back, holding my wand. _Don't make me have to use magic against you. _My eyes filled with nervous tears.

"See!" Dad roared. "Look at Amber! Look at her!" Dad stumbled toward me, grabbing my left arm hard. I squealed in pain.

"See how thin she is? Been cooking for herself, I bet. No thanks to _you_. You sick, stupid cow. I should have listened to my mum. She told me you were nothing but a freeloader. A good for nothing wench. I should have married Daisy Emalia." His fingers tightened around my arm. "At least she would have taken care of my kids!"

I tried to tug my arm free. "You're hurting me!"

"Let go of her, Walter." Mum mumbled.

"Mum!" I cried as Dad shook me roughly.

Dad got in my face, his breath so bad that it made my eyes water. I had always seen my father as a strong, protective presence in my life, someone I had come running to as a child when a nightmare scared me or a teacher yelled at me too forcefully in school. Now, he looked like a monster.

"You listen to me, you little rat." Dad spat. "You might be the head honcho at Hogwarts, with all your little friends and your big books." He leaned in closer, his nose almost touching mine. "You shamed my family by being Hufflepuff. You shamed all of us."

I sobbed, terrified. _Wake up, wake up! _This had to be a nightmare. This couldn't be real.

"Let go of her, Walter!" Mum screeched, suddenly at his side, trying to rip me away. Dad tossed her aside with one arm roughly, sending her crashing into the couch. A new rush of heat washed over me, terror combined with the strong instinct to protect myself. I waved my right arm, pointing it right at my father. "_Protego!"_

The shield charm, cast at point blank and fueled by my high emotions, blasted my father back into the front door. He hit it so hard that pictures fell from the walls and crashed into the ground. The windows shook with his impact. I held the wand up, shaking hard, his fingers leaving imprints in my skin.

Mum was crying, half-flung onto the couch. Dad tried to rise to his feet, but collapsed back down. I held my wand tightly, directed right at him. "Stay down." I whispered. "Stay _down!_"

Dad mumbled something, but a moment later snored. He was out cold.

I stared at my mother, who was gazing at my father as if seeing him for the first time. She turned to look at me, and I realized that I didn't recognize the stranger in front of me. My parents were no longer the people who raised me. We were a family, torn apart by grief. When Virginia died, the Devil had walked in through the front door and made himself comfortable.

Dad was a drunk. Mum was a basket case. Naomi was safely hidden away from it all. And here I was, stuck in the middle, forced to deal with my parents like they were children straight from the bowels of Hell.

"Get up." I whispered to Mum. "Now."

Mum slowly rose. She had lost so much weight that her night gown hung on her frame loosely, like a tent. She looked scared. She looked exactly how I felt.

"Amber… I… I'm so sorry you had to see that."

She was wringing her wrists. She looked like a homeless Muggle I had seen in London a few years ago, skin and bones, her clothes ratty and thin, failing to hide her tattoos and scars. Mum had said she was a user, a junkie. She was addicted to drugs.

Mum was the spitting image now. Except she didn't have tattoos. And unlike the druggie, she was addicted to grief.

"If you two don't grow up," I said slowly, shaking hard, unsure of where my words came from, "then I'm leaving. I'll live with Naomi with Grandpa and Grandma. We will never come home. Ever."

Mum let out a long, soft sigh. "Oh, Amber. You don't have to sound so grown up. You aren't the adult. I am."

"Then start acting like it." I snapped coldly. "This isn't how Virginia would have wanted things to be."

Mum wordlessly threw an old afghan on Dad's snoring figure. He was still slumped against the door. Then she walked into the kitchen and started washing the dishes I hadn't gotten to that night.

I watched her for a few minutes, and then went upstairs, leaving my parents behind. The shaking was so intense that I had to lean against the wall for support. My head was pounding, my stomach was churning. Saliva filled my mouth, and I made it to the toilet just as the vomit exploded from deep inside. When it was over, I rinsed my mouth out in the sink and brushed my teeth. I stared at my reflection, almost not recognizing myself.

A sallow, grim-faced girl looked back at me. She looked tired. Scared. Older. Her face was pale and drawn from being sick, her eyes red and her lips gray.

It wasn't me. It was just grief.

"Oh, Virginia," I whispered. "Why did you have to die?"

Because I had crossed that Whomping Willow. Because she was sick.

In that moment, I swore to never tell my parents. Their sanity was already pushed to the limits by the monster of grief. The less they had to deal with, the better.

I touched the opal pendant around my neck. It was all I had left of my sister.

Would she have ever lived to see our parents deteriorate like this?

I went to my bedroom hearing movement downstairs. Mum, maybe Dad too, were both awake. It was almost easy to pretend that Mum was just up making Virginia a pot of tea, Dad coming home late from work, Virginia sitting in her bed waiting for Mum to care for her, Naomi fast asleep with her thumb tucked into her mouth.

But this was now. Our family, cut clean in two. Was this really how Virginia would have wanted things? Up-ended, chaotic, insane? Hell's bells were ringing loudly in the house.

I eased myself and my guilt into my bed. I stared at the ceiling for a long time, pretending that this night had never happened. Dad was still at work. Mum was doing late-night cleaning. My sisters were asleep in their beds.

When I opened my eyes again, it was still dark. My peripheral vision caught sight of something moving below in the yard. Adrenaline coursed through my veins like lightning. Moving slowly, I carefully turned over so that I could stare down the window into the yard below.

The full moon spilled its milky light onto the ground. At first, I thought it was a werewolf, hunched below the willow tree. I wondered if it was Remus. Or Greyback. Fear prickled cold and damp at the base of my neck. I squinted, trying to make out the shape. A cloud passed in front of the moon, darkening the yard, but floated away a moment later.

I almost threw up again.

Mum was on her hands and knees in her nightgown. She was crouched over Virginia's grave, uprooting and flinging away the flowers I had planted for Virginia. The roses. The peonies and poppies. The bluebells, her favorites.

She ripped them all out until only flat, patted-down earth was left. Then Mum picked herself up, pointed her wand at the freshly-uprooted flowers, and set each on fire.

She left them still burning as she walked back to the house.

I shut my eyes, the familiar pounding ache in my head. My family was tearing itself apart over bad blood.

* * *

The next morning Mum was awake. She was in the kitchen, a plate of pancakes set out on the table. I was dressed for the day, the sun hardly above the horizon line. I froze in the kitchen when I saw her back at the stove, a deer crossing paths with a hunter. I could hear the quiet scrape of a spatula against the skillet. I only saw Mum in the garden I planted for Virginia, tearing out every flower, destroying every effort I had made for a memorial to her.

But her hair was brushed. It was braided. She wore a simple white dress.

I pinched my arm. I was, somehow, awake.

Mum turned slightly. When she offered a small smile, I nearly fell over in shock.

"Good morning, Amber. Please, help yourself to pancakes."

I stared at her, mouth hanging open. Now, she was frying bacon.

Mum frowned slightly. "Is something wrong?"

This woman had spent the last four months hibernating in her grief. She had tried unsuccessfully to pry my drunken father off of me just twelve hours ago. My mother had destroyed my flower garden for my sister.

And now, she had made me breakfast.

When I didn't move, Mum looked stern. "You need to eat. Sit."

I obeyed her cautiously. I sipped the water, trying to recall my Potions class when Professor Slughorn had taught us about rudimentary poisons.

"Your sister will be home this evening." Mum reported casually, her voice strong and normal again. "Your father is at St. Mungo's."

I went cold. "Did I… hurt him?"

Mum clucked her tongue. "You did him and me a favor. He'll be just fine by tonight. But I've also told him he is not welcome here until he agrees to stay dry. For good."

I nodded, half-hearing her. Mum had cooked breakfast. And now, she had just complimented me.

I was dead. There was no way this was really happening.

I wanted to ask Mum what was wrong. Or right. What had changed her dramatically in such a short amount of time. What would happen when she decided to punish me for last night.

Well, maybe that was what the flower garden had been about. A punishment for attacking Dad. For yelling at her.

_But they deserved it_. A tiny voice in me protested. _They needed it!_

I carefully sipped a glass of pumpkin juice. Mum laid out a plate of bacon drying on a paper towel. "Be careful. It's hot."

I watched her clean the dishes. "Aren't you going to eat?" I asked hesitantly.

Mum made a noise of agreement and sat down. She piled two cakes onto her plate and doused them in syrup. She took a bite, then another.

"It's safe?" I hedged.

Mum nodded. "As safe as flobberworms."

I grimaced. "Right."

I ate in silence, sliding glances at her every few seconds. She was busy reading the _Daily Prophet_. "Oh."

My heart jumped into my throat. "Oh, what?"

Mum pointed to a moving picture of a middle-aged man. "One of my favorite writers… he's gone missing. Vincent Backe. He went to Egypt for an assignment and never came back."  
"That's… unfortunate." The name rang a faint bell. "Didn't he write about Voldemort?"

Mum dropped her paper, staring at me like I was a ghost. "Excuse me?"

Heat crept into my cheeks. "I mean… the Dark Lord?"

Mum held my gaze a moment longer. "Yes, he was. I went to Hogwarts with him. He was a seventh year when I was a freshman. He was in Hufflepuff."

"Oh." I tried to think of something to say, but didn't want to speak much to this stranger in my mother's body. "That's… sad."

"Indeed." Mum checked the grandfather clock in the corner. Virginia's spoon was no longer there.

"Eat up. We need to go to Diagon Alley to get your supplies for school."

I put my fork down, my breakfast half-eaten. "Mum, are you feeling alright?"

Mum waved me off. "Just fine, Amber. Really, don't question my motives. Please. It's hurtful."

But it was impossible not to. No one bounced back this quickly.

Mum clicked her fingers. "Eat, and we'll go."

"I'd rather go alone, if you don't mind." I said carefully. "I can take care of myself."

Mum rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Amber, you're only eleven."

"I'll be twelve in two weeks." I challenged.

Mum sighed. "Very well. You can go alone. But you must be back by three. Your sister will be here at four. Your grandparents are going to take us out to dinner, so try to look presentable."

I looked down at my torn, dirty jean shorts. My hand-me-down t-shirt from my thirteen year-old cousin Amanda. The callouses on my palms and the freckles dotting my skin from my long hours in the sun. Where had Mum been this entire time? Hadn't she realized I had been taking care of myself for the past four months?

I cleared my dishes and started to wash them out of habit. "Oh, don't worry about those, dear," Mum insisted, "I'll clean those."

I stared at her for a moment, bewildered, and decided not to fight her on this. On anything. Mum handed me a small sack of coins that jingled at the slightest touch.

"Professor McGonagall sent me this paper this morning." Mum said as she handed me a list of supplies. "Don't spend all of the money. I'm sure your grandparents will have birthday money for you on the twenty-first."

I backed away from my mother, completely dumbstruck. Who _was _this person? Who was this lady, this mother, in complete control and charge? And how on earth had she transformed again so radically from the deadbeat into the matriarch?

"Have fun." Mum said, and tucked back into her breakfast. She snapped the newspaper as she read. She had clearly dismissed me.

Still stunned, I left the house, throwing glances over my shoulder in confusion. I half-expected her to come charging after me, a cleaver clutched in her hand, screaming, but only the cluck of the chickens and the gentle tinkle of the wind chimes sounded.

I looked back once at the house. Mum wasn't coming out.

I walked over to the willow tree. Virginia's grave was bare, except for her headstone.

VIRGINIA GRACE HARKSTONE

BELOVED DAUGHTER

FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS

TIMELESS AND AT PEACE

5 OCTOBER 1961 – 9 APRIL 1971

The dirt lay bare over her coffin, six feet below where I stood. It looked ugly again. Plain. Not at all like the lush garden of life that had attracted butterflies and mice.

I knew it would defy my mother. I knew it could set her off. But I had caused this. If I had just listened to Virginia in the first place, I wouldn't have bested that Whomping Willow. She would still be alive.

I owed her this much.

I scattered the teardrop shaped seeds, black and white striped like zebras. The seeds I had plucked from the field just a week ago. I waved my wand, muttering "_Crescere." _

The green shoots pushed up like the rising sun. These could not be stopped.

When they had grown to their full height, their tall, round heads wide as my face, I muttered a final incantation. "_Manere._"

The sunflowers would stay over her grave forever. Nothing could remove a Permanent Sticking Charm. Not even my mother's desperate hands.

The golden petals caught the light of the sun. Already, bees buzzed around them, birds pecking at the brown circle of rough seeds. Life had already returned to the plot of earth where my sister's bones lay.

I walked to the black lamppost. When I touched my hand to the Portkey, I knew it would take me to Diagon Alley. I knew that despite the pain of summer, the land was beginning to heal. My mother was piecing herself together. My father was getting help. My littlest sister was coming home. My middle sister would be honored.

And I would never tell my family the truth, my awful secret that I buried in the bed of dirt with her: That it was my fault, and mine alone, that she was no longer with us.


	17. Return to Hogwarts

The trees were blushing with color when my second year of Hogwarts began. I stood on the platform with my luggage, Soren already well on his way back to the castle. Mum and Naomi stood talking to Lily's parents, who had arrived just moments before. She was chatting excitedly with Severus, who stood a few feet from a very sour looking witch. His father was nowhere to be seen.

I watched Lily and Severus speak. They looked so happy to see each other, so validated in each other's company. I could only imagine what kind of summers they had had; Lily had gushed in her letters about her family's excursions abroad and how much fun she had. Even her rotten sister Petunia seemed to have enjoyed herself. She stood by herself, arms crossed, trying to look angry, but her curiosity and envy was plain to see as she gaped at the Hogwarts Express in all its grandeur.

Lily finally seemed to notice me. Her green eyes lit up as she weaved her way through the throng of students and parents, crushing me in a hug. "Amber!"

I hugged her back, relieved to see my friend, but unable to tell her how sad I was to see her sister alive and well, when one of mine was gone.

It was all I could think about, how it was my fault, how I could have so easily prevented it. And I couldn't tell anyone. Even Lily, who loved her horrible sister, would never speak to me again.

Lily pulled back, searching my face. "I'm so sorry about your sister, Amber."

A fresh pang of grief stabbed me, but I forced a smile. "Thanks, Lily. It's been… tough."

Lily rubbed her arm, looking distressed. "I can't even imagine life without Tuney… I know she can be a real mean sport, but she means well. I know she does."

I watched Petunia's awed expression as she walked slowly along the length of the train that would take us back to school. "I think she's just jealous that she's not going."

Lily sighed. "I know. She even sent a letter to Dumbledore last year, asking him to take her in. She really wanted to come with me." Her eyes clouded. "I guess not everyone can go."

I thought of Virginia, and tried to shut out the image of her face. "I know."

Lily grabbed my wrist, pulling me over to Severus. The pale boy's hair had grown even longer over the summer. It was black and greasy as ever. His thin lips pressed into a disapproving line as Lily towed me over.

"Sev, Amber is going to sit with us again this year." Lily decided, face glowing. "We have a lot to catch up on."

"Oh, goody." Severus muttered, looking blackly at me.

I felt a nudge under my left arm. Naomi peeked up at me with her great green eyes. "Mum says it's time to go."

I frowned. "The train doesn't leave for another fifteen minutes. We've got lots of time."

Naomi shrugged. "She says she wants to leave before the rest of the crowd does." She stared at Lily, and then Severus. "Are you guys her friends?"

"Yes." Lily said at the same time that Severus said, "No."

I couldn't help the snort of laughter. Severus looked like a wet cat.

Naomi looked confused.

"I am, love." Lily said warmly. "You must be Naomi."

My youngest sister's mouth dropped open. "How did you know?"

"Amber tells me a lot. And that includes you!" Lily winked at her.

Naomi looked thrilled to be the center of attention. "Really?!"

Lily pulled a chocolate frog out from behind Naomi's ear. She squealed, snatching it from her hand. "Thank you! That was so cool!"

Lily smiled. "You're so lucky, Amber. I wish I had a little sister."

I thought of my two younger sisters. Virginia was gone, but I couldn't forget her. Not even if I tried. "I guess."

Lily tugged on Naomi's braid. "You'd better get back to your mum, little duck. Don't keep her waiting."

Naomi flung her arms around Lily's waist, and then mine. "I love you, Amber!" She squeaked as she tore through the crowd. I watched her find Mum, who gathered her close like a mother hen with her chick. She didn't glance at me as she took my remaining sister and walked away.

"You're so lucky." Lily sighed. When I didn't respond, she asked, "Is everything alright, Amber?"

I shook my head to clear it. "Yeah. I will be."

Lily gave me a wistful smile. "We're going back to Hogwarts. We're second years, now."  
The thought of no longer being a crummy little first year filled me with some excitement. "I _did _grow a few inches this summer."

Lily laughed, running back to hug her family quickly. I averted my gaze.

The train gave a warning whistle. Steam shot in a high white cloud into the rafters of King's Cross Station. Lily hurried to climb aboard with me. Severus followed her like a silent puppy.

"I think you're the only friend he has." I muttered as he turned to wave to his sour-looking mother, who was already leaving the station without a backwards glance at her son.

Lily looked sad. "You're his friend, too."

When Severus turned back towards us and caught my gaze, his black eyes narrowed into angry slits.

"I don't think so." I mumbled as we made our way down the narrow aisles of the train. It was bustling with students, chattering excitedly, all of them still in their Muggle clothes.

"I hope the trolley comes through soon." Lily said hopefully as she chose an empty compartment. "I'd love a chocolate frog."

Severus sat down beside her before I could. I stowed my suitcase above the seats, wondering if I would have had to do this for Virginia if she had been here. If she had been alive.

I shut my eyes, trying to block out the rising guilt and pain. _She's not here. She's in a better place. Even if it is my fault that she isn't here in the first place._

"You okay?" Lily said, sounding concerned. "Are you feeling sick?"

"I'm fine." I lied, swallowing hard to fight the lump forming in my throat.

Lily didn't look convinced.

"Hey! There you are!" Angelina Azadian breezed into the compartment. Severus looked like a wet cat who had just clawed his way out of a lake.

"Angelina!" Lily beamed. "It's great to see you! Did you have a good summer?"

Angelina carefully eased herself down beside me, brushing her long raven-colored hair over her shoulder. Her tan skin was even darker, touched by the sun. "I went to see my relatives in Israel. My grandparents live there."

Naomi had spent the better part of the summer with my own grandparents in Inverness. Because the grief and chaos at home was too much to expose her too.

_Stop. _I bit my lip hard, so that I left indents of my front teeth on the soft ridge. _Stop thinking about what happened. You're on your way to school now. Put that aside. _

Lily and Angelina's voices blended together into a soprano garble. Severus looked miserable. I could see where he got his looks from. He was the spitting male image of his bitter mother.

"So, Amber!" Angelina said brightly, my name catching my attention. "What did _you _do this summer?"

Lily's eyes widened. She looked alarmed.

The summer I had been trying so hard to forget came surging back full-forth, front and center. I swallowed hard. "I spent the summer at home. I worked on our farm a lot. Gardening. Animal stuff."  
"Oh, nice!" Angelina gushed. "You do look tanner! You were a little pale before, but now… Well, it really compliments your hair!"

Self-conscious, I pulled the long sweep of dirty blonde hair down, tugging it. "Thanks."

"So, Angelina," Lily quickly jumped in, "who do you think you'll have the most trouble with this year?"

Relieved, I listened to Angelina leap at the subject change and digress about Professor Sprout and the rumor that second years would have to take care of mandrakes. I knew from my reading of all of our textbooks over the summer – twice – that mandrakes could heal paralysis and petrification.

The train rolled along, Lily and Angelina gabbering back and forth, their conversation like a ping-pong match. One would talk, another would answer, questions relayed to and fro. Severus listened to Lily's words like they were music. He never glanced at me or Angelina.

The door to the compartment rattled open. James Potter stared down at us, grinning when he caught sight of Lily and Severus. "Well, look at this. Already getting therapy for your future marriage with the Ravenclaws? Though I thought you'd have better taste in guys, Evans."

Severus's face flamed red. Lily looked furious. "What is your problem, Potter? This compartment is full. Go find another one."  
Sirius Black popped up next to James. "Never thought Snivellus could turn any color other than white."

I rolled my eyes as Severus turned even redder. "What do you two want? Leave us alone."

Sirius pushed the door open wider. "Actually, we're looking for you, Harkstone. We need to borrow you."

"Indefinitely." James added.

Lily snorted. "Leave her and us alone. Get out before I call for help."

"Oh, no!" Sirius mocked. "Anything but that!"

James cackled. Severus looked like he wanted to hit them.

"Get _out._" He snarled. "Screw off."

Angelina gasped. James and Sirius roared with laughter.

I rose to my feet, pushing them out of the doorway. "I'll be back later, guys. Sorry."

Lily looked thunderstruck. "You can't be serious! You're actually going with them!?"

"We have business that we need to attend to with her." Sirius explained, grinning wolfishly. "Private business."

Lily looked extremely confused. "Amber? What's going on?"

I worried the opal pendant nervously. "It's fine, Lily. I'll be back soon."

"When we're done with her." James corrected. "Bye!" He slammed the compartment door shut.

"What the hell do you two want?" I growled. "I don't have anything to say to you."

"Yow!" Sirius laughed, flanking me with James on the other side. "The kitten has claws!"

"I'm not a kitten." I shot back. "I'm more of a…"

"Lioness?" James offered. "Scary as hell, big, and blonde?"

Sirius appraised me. "Yeah, I guess that would work."

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, what do you two want? Where's Remus?"

"Your boyfriend's already waiting for us." James grinned at my shocked expression. "Don't worry, we're cool with it. You two are cute together."

Sirius roared with laughter as I punched James in the arm. "Not funny, Potter. We're just friends. You're disgusting."

James winked. "You two are pretty close for just friends."

"We're _twelve_!"

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe someday?"

"Maybe _never_." I whacked him on the shoulder. "You two are so stupid."

"If we're stupid, then why are you blushing?" James asked, ducking as I swung at him again.

Sirius opened the door to a compartment holding two boys. One was small and pudgy with eyes too large for his Charlie Brown cheeks. The other had scars running across his face and green eyes that reflected light like a wolf's.

"Remus." I said, smiling, some of the weight lifting off of my shoulders. He and Lily had been the only ones to write to me this summer. They were the ones who kept me sane.

Remus smiled back. "Good to see you, Amber."

"Oooooooh…" James and Sirius drawled. I whipped out my wand and pointed it at their heads. "Say one more thing, and I'll hex your hair pink. Permanently."

"Aw, c'mon, Amber." Sirius cajoled. "You're no fun."

"I had a hard summer." I retorted tartly. The chubby boy stared at me, his pale blue eyes huge.

"You'd attack them?" He squeaked, his voice breaking between octaves.

I shrugged. "I've done it before, and I'll do it again."

His mouth dropped open.

"She's a good duelist." James admitted. "Charms master, right Remus?"  
"She's as good as I am." Remus agreed airily, half-smiling.

I plopped down next to him, elbowing him. His green eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Okay, so now that the lovebirds have settled down…" Sirius teased.

I jabbed my wand at him.

"Okay, okay. Sorry. Anyway, now, back to business." Sirius double-checked the door to make sure it was locked. "We need to have our first Marauders meeting of the year."

A rush of excitement chased away my irritation. "What? Are you actually going to use the name I chose?"

James nodded. "You might be a girl, but that was a pretty good choice."

I scoffed. "So, just because I'm a girl, I can't think of smart things in the first place? Nice, Potter."

"What Sirius was saying," Remus slid in carefully, "is that we need to talk about what we will be doing this year."

"Like sneaking out of the castle again." Sirius said enthusiastically. "I want to break into the kitchens. You know, gain the house elves' trust. Kreacher is a right disgusting git, but I've learned about house elves from him. They just want to please their masters. Obey them. They really can't disobey."

"Your family has a house elf?" I said, eyebrows lifting.

"Well… yeah." Sirius looked at James and Remus, and then the chubby boy, who I finally recognized as Peter Pettigrew. "James' family has two. What about you, Remus?"

"We had one. Cissy. She passed on about a year ago."

"Oh." I said, thinking of death, thinking of Virginia. I clutched the opals, the only thing I had left of her, tightly in my right hand.

"Yeah." Remus sighed. "She was a good elf. Very simple, but lived to please."

"I can't wait until Kreacher kicks the bucket." Sirius muttered darkly. "He's disgusting. Wears a ratty loincloth he hasn't washed since Dumbledore was our age."

"He can't be that bad." James reasoned. "House elves just want to please their masters."

Sirius snorted. "Not Kreacher. He's a pig who was transformed into a house elf."

"Really?" Peter breathed in awe.

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. Probably. He _dotes _on Regulus." He folded his arms, cross.

"Who's Regulus?" I asked.

"His younger brother." James said. "He's a first year. He's actually on the train right now."

A first year. Just like Virginia would have been.

I bit my lip. "Why aren't you sitting with him? He's probably frightened."

Sirius looked incredulous. "Are you daft? He's the precious favored son. Mum and Dad throw pearls before him. He's got to redeem the family line, apparently, since I'm a Gryffindor. My entire family's been Slytherin."

"You pesky little traitor." James mocked gleefully.

But I couldn't share their amusement. I could hardly breathe. Virginia, like Regulus, was a first year. The favored child. Sirius, like me, had shamed the family by being sorted into a different House than literally the rest of the bloodline. Even Dad had let it slip, during his drunken explosion.

Suddenly, I wanted to get out the compartment. Now.

I rose abruptly, still squeezing the pendant tightly. The boys looked at me curiously. "Are you alright, Amber?" James said. "You look pretty green. Paler than usual, too."

"Motion sickness?" Peter offered. "I get it a lot."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Better not, git. Otherwise you'll be sitting with Evans and Snivellus and that Muslim girl."

"She's _not _Muslim." I snapped. "Her name is Angelina Azadian, and she's Hebrew. Jewish."

"Jeez, sorry, Amber." Sirius held his palms up.

"It's Harkstone." I flashed. "You don't get to call me by my first name."

James exchanged a look with Sirius. "What's wrong with you? Are girls always this crazy?"

"I think she's just strong. And powerful." Peter bumbled.

"Shut up. All of you." I could feel tears rising, hot and betraying, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing them. "If you have something actually _important _to tell me, then I'll be elsewhere on the train. Otherwise it can wait until we're at Hogwarts."

Sirius and James started to speak, but I turned on my heel and tried to open the door. It was stuck fast. "_Alohamora!_" I snarled, my wand surging with heat as I cast the spell. The door whipped open so hard the glass cracked in the window.

I stormed down the deserted aisle of the train. My head spun, my palms clammy. The walls were closing in. I had to get away.

I walked to the end of the car, scanning for empty compartments, but all were filled with boisterous students. I opened the door at the end of the corridor and hopped to the next car. I repeated this until I found myself at the tail of the caboose, looking out over nothing but train tracks speeding below.

I stared down, leaning against the wrought iron railing. It would so easy, too easy, to throw myself over the edge and hit the ground hard enough to snap my neck. I would join Virginia. Maybe if I died, she could come back.

I shook my head hard against the dark thoughts, shutting my mind to them. No. Virginia wouldn't have wanted it. I had told others the same thing, to live in her memory, to honor her life, her wishes. What kind of cowardly hypocrite would that make me if I selfishly leapt to my death now? Naomi would be alone. My parents would have lost two of their three children. Lily would have lost her best friend.

I shut my eyes, gripping the railing so tightly that my knuckles whitened. I took several deep breaths, trying to clear the spinning between my eyes. _Calm down. Calm down. It's okay. Just breathe._

The door behind me opened. I whirled around, expecting a stranger, but it was only Remus. He looked grim.

He closed the door behind him. Remus came to rest against the railing next to me, staring at the passing scenery. He didn't say anything, just stayed beside me, a solid, steady presence. I could feel the tension and loneliness ebbing away.

"I just needed some fresh air." I said after a long silence. A gust of wind blasted my hair, and I tucked a loose strand behind my ear.

Remus nodded. "I know. Sometimes you just have to get away."

"I know." I glanced over, studying him. Unlike Lily, I knew Remus understood tragedy. He knew what it felt like to be absolutely back-handed and backstabbed by life. Remus understood drawing the short straw, being dealt the bad hand. And yet, he managed. He aced his studies and was a good friend. He was a boy who acted far beyond his years because he had been given hardships that most children our age couldn't comprehend.

Violence. Death. Lily knew the sting of rejection, but this was on a whole other level of difficult.

Remus knew.

"You don't have to tell me anything." Remus said. "I didn't even tell you about my condition."

"I kind of figured it out." I added, managing a small smile.

Remus chuckled. "With my massive hints."

I smiled this time, remembering that night. The range of emotions had been unbelievable. Excitement. Terror. Surprise. Joy.

And then…

Grief.

"Something happened over the summer." I said, my smile disappearing like the landscape blurring past us. "Something bad."

Remus frowned. I could feel him watching me from my peripheral vision. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." I passed a hand over my face, squeezing my closed eyeballs. "No. Not really."

Remus was silent, listening.

I swallowed hard against the familiar ache in my throat. My hand gripped the opal necklace like a talisman. "My sister… she was sick. And she… she died."

"Amber." Remus said softly.

The tears came now. I swallowed against the hot, painful torrent. Every single time, it hurt so bad. "That was why I had to leave school early last year. Because she had passed on."

"Was it sudden?" Remus asked gently.

I shook my head. "I guess so. My parents were a mess."

"Understandably." He looked sad. "I'm so sorry, Amber. Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged, unable to tell him that the reason why she had died was because of me. Because of the Whomping Willow. The Murder Tree. I wanted to chop it down. But I couldn't, because Remus needed it. Because it protected people from the monster inside of him.

"I didn't want to burden you." I said softly, wiping my eyes with my sleeves. "You have enough going on."

Remus handed me a tissue from his pocket. "It's clean." He promised.

In spite of myself, I laughed once. I blew my nose and quickly hexed it with _incendio. _It burst into flames and scattered quickly behind us. Like Virginia's ashes.

I could feel my face crumpling. "She died… and there was no time. I never really got to say goodbye. And my parents…"

I finally confessed what kind of summer I'd had. It was like the lancing of a boil. The gruesome details poured out. Remus listened, never interrupting, but more than once looked like he wanted to hug me. But he never did.

I omitted the part about the Murder Tree and my role in her passing.

"You can't carry that kind of weight by yourself, Amber." Remus said gently as I blew my nose again on a new napkin. They kept reproducing from his pockets. "It wasn't your fault."

My stomach clenched. All I could say was, "I feel like I could have prevented it."

Remus did touch me now. He put his hand on my shoulder and met my gaze squarely. Green eyes into brown. "Listen to me, Amber. There was _nothing _you could have done. Your sister was sick. She was dying. It wasn't you."

I stared into his face, never really realizing how intense his eyes were. How animal. Yet intelligent and kind.

"I wish I could believe you." I whispered, my heart aching with guilt.

Remus sighed. "I know. Everyone deals with grief differently. It takes time." He hugged me. Briefly, but in those moments, I felt some of the awful burden lift. When he let go, it didn't come back.

"You're an incredible witch, Amber. And I know Virginia would be proud of you."

"She would have been a first year." I murmured, thinking of Regulus. "Like Sirius's brother."

Remus sighed. "He can be a real git sometimes. He doesn't think before he speaks." His brow wrinkled. "Actually, sometimes I think he thinks _too _much."

I gave him a quizzical look through my drying tears. "You're talking about Sirius Black?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't think you give them enough credit. James and Sirius are smart. Brilliant. What other eleven year olds do you know who can perform a successful Unbreakable Vow?"

I rubbed my right wrist, remembering the thin, white thread of fire that had bound the four of us together for life. "No one."

Remus was busy fishing in his pocket for another napkin when I asked, "What about Peter Pettigrew? What's his story?"

"Oh, him?" Remus handed me a fifth tissue. "He's a nice guy. Timid, shy, and a little too starry-eyed when it comes to Sirius and James. And you."

"_Me_?" I said incredulously. "Why me?"

"You saved his life last year, remember? When he fell from the stairs and fractured his skull and broke his arm?"

"Oh, yeah." I flashed back to that day, remembering the blood of spreading blood and the cries of pain. "I saved his life?"

Remus nodded. "Madame Pomfrey said if he'd gone any longer without medical attention, he would have died. Too much damage. He fell almost twenty feet onto marble."

I shivered. "That's awful. What _was _he doing up there, anyway?"

Remus looked uncomfortable. "He told me Sirius and James had sent him to do it. An initiation into the group. Like a dare to prove his worth."

My jaw dropped open. "That's so stupid! Don't they know how dangerous that is? He could have _died_! He almost did!"

Remus nodded in agreement. "I know, but they like danger. Those two are fearless. And Peter proved himself. He talks about you like you're the next McGonagall."

"What about Peter?" I pressed, curious as to how such a nervous, flighty boy could ever have fallen into the ranks of these three boys. "Did you all make him commit an Unbreakable Vow?"

Remus smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Nah. Peter's too loyal. He'd never flake on us. Plus, who would he tell? We're the only friends he's got and probably ever will have."

I raised my arm to strike him, but Remus dodged and ruffled my hair playfully. "Come on. I didn't mean it in a mean way. It's just the truth."

"I still think you deserve this." I slapped his left shoulder blade, satisfied by the loud smack. Remus half-winced, half-laughed.

"Also," I said, as we turned to head back into the caboose, "please don't tell the others about my sister. Only Lily knows, and I didn't tell her the dirty details like I told you."

Remus smiled. "Thanks for trusting me, Amber."

I bumped into him on purpose, knocking him off balance. "You know, you really aren't as bad as you seem, Remus Lupin."

Remus opened the door, bowing slightly. "After you, my lady."

I grinned and waltzed through the door. And crashed right into a body.

A black-haired young boy, no more than ten or eleven, swore so vilely that the hair on the back of my neck rose and my face warmed. He rubbed his arm where we had collided, glaring at me furiously. He was at least four inches shorter than me, but his expression told me he didn't care at all about height or age differences.

"Watch where you're going, moron!" The boy snapped.

"Hey!" Remus drew himself up, looking outraged. "Don't speak to her that way! Apologize!"

The boy glowered at Remus. "You going to make me?"

"I might." Remus drew his wand and pointed it at the boy. For the first time, I could see the shadow of the wolf on his face. His anger was more than human. It was beastly.

I could feel the power emanating off of him like heat from a furnace. The boy apparently could feel it too. He changed his demeanor instantly. He cooled his face so that it was pleasantly surprised rather than disgusted. "You're right. I'm sorry. I should have watched where I was going."

"Apologize for what you said." Remus growled.

The boy dipped his head respectfully at me. "I'm sorry for calling you a moron."

Disturbed by his ease of transitioning of one persona to the opposite, I chewed my lower lip uneasily. "Thanks. Apology accepted."

The boy's face was carefully devoid of emotion, but I see anger and loathing in his gray eyes.

I gasped softly. Remus's head whipped towards mine. "What? What is it?"

"I know this boy."

The gray-eyed boy lifted a thin black brow. "Do you?"  
"Yes." I smirked. "I should have known. Regulus Black."


	18. Professor Folsom

Regulus had Sirius's facial shape, the same eyes, and the same mouth. But Sirius's nose was longer. Regulus had more of a button shape. His hair, the same raven-black, was a disaster, like he rolled out of bed and didn't even attempt to tame it. It was very similar to James' rat nest of black hair.

He had the same arrogant, untouchable look that Sirius had. It was a look I had seen on James Potter many times. The well-cared for, spoiled attitude of children that were adored and given everything. It was a look I would never see on Severus's face. Or mine.

"I don't know you." Regulus said loftily. "A werewolf and a what… a Mudblood? Dressed in Muggle clothes?"

I noticed for the first time that Regulus was wearing his school uniform. With a Slytherin coat of arms sewn into the left-side of his lapel.

"Watch it." Remus snapped.

"I'm actually a half-blood." I clarified coolly, surveying Sirius's little brother. "You haven't been Sorted yet. What's with the Slytherin badge?"

Regulus shrugged. "I already know what I am. I'll make my family proud." He lifted his chin a notch, looking disdainful. "Don't you know that you can choose your own House?"

"That's not true." Remus corrected. "The Hat chooses for you."  
"Try reading." Regulus suggested dryly. "You'll see in _Hogwarts, A History._"

"I've read it. Four times." I remarked. "And that's not how it works. The Hat Sorts you. But it does take your choice into account. The Hat makes the final decision. Not you."

"Whatever." Regulus said, rolling his eyes. "Are you done out there?"

"Why?" Remus said suspiciously. "You going to throw someone's pet off the railing?"

"That's not a bad idea." Regulus said thoughtfully. "Kidding, kidding. I just want some fresh air. Is that a crime?"

Remus stared at Regulus. It reminded me of a dog sizing up a possible intruder, trying to decide if it was friend or foe. He narrowed his eyes. "I don't want to have to have a conversation like this with you again."

Regulus rolled his eyes again. "Yes, Mum. Move."

I blocked his path. "Move, what?"

Regulus snorted. "Move, _please._" He sounded anything but polite.

Grudgingly, I stepped aside. Regulus pushed past and slammed the door on his way out. He leaned against the iron railing in the exact place that I had.

Remus followed my gaze. "He's a handful. Sirius said he was."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "That's no excuse. I know what it's like to have a favorite little sibling. And Virginia was never this rotten."

Remus made a noise of agreement. "Sorry, Amber. It's not fair."

"Yeah… well…" The fight went out of me instantly, like a balloon deflating. Tears threatened at the thought of my sister, who could have been here now, maybe talking to Regulus, making friends, being a good example…

I quickly redirected my train of thought. "Why don't you go back to the guys and I'll go back to Lily? I've had enough of the Black boys for a few hours."

Remus's mouth twitched in amusement. "Mind if I join you?"

Pleased, I smiled. "Only if James won't get jealous."

Remus followed me into the compartment that held Lily and Angelina. Severus was reading a book while the girls talked.

Lily brightened at our arrival. "Remus! Amber! Where have you two been?"

"I broke out of the boy prison." I joked as I sat down. Remus remained standing.

"We can move over." Angelina offered.

Remus shook his head. "That's alright. I've been sitting for awhile anyway."

I was about to open my mouth and remind him that he had been standing with me for nearly half an hour, but instead Lily beat me to it and started grilling Remus about his summer. They talked back and forth for awhile until James and Sirius rapped on the glass compartment. Severus muttered an expletive and hid his face in his book.

Remus grimaced. "I'd better go. The boys have come to claim me."

"More like the pack." I corrected.

Sirius tapped the glass more firmly. Remus ducked out, smiling at me and Lily before he left. "Nice meeting you, Angelina."

Angelina grinned. "The pleasure's all mine."

I felt a sudden stab of unpleasantness in my stomach. It was cold like ice and felt like someone had just punched me. I didn't want to look at Angelina.

Remus closed the door quietly behind him.

"Oh my _word_." Angelina squealed. "He is _dreamy_."

The knife stabbed deeper, twisting with her every word.

Lily giggled. "He's an awesome guy. When he gets older, he's going to get snatched up quick."

"I thought he was gay." Severus said, lowering his book. "He'll end up with Sirius Black, I guarantee it."

"Oh, knock it off, Severus." I snapped, feeling guilty for lashing out at him but feeling better venting the negative feelings swirling inside. "He's _not _gay. He likes girls."

Severus lifted a brow. "Are you jealous, Harkstone?"

Heat flooded my cheeks. "No. I just asked him, that's all. I know firsthand."

"First_hand_?" Angelina exclaimed. "Are you two a thing?!"

Lily laughed. "Don't tease her, guys. She's turning all red."

Fuming, I wished I had stayed out of the compartment altogether and just had Dad drive me in the old truck. Face on fire, I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a book and stuck my nose in it.

"That's her cue to leave her alone." Lily translated. "So, Angelina… who do you think is cute?"

As much as I wanted to focus on my book, I couldn't help but listen in.

Angelina sighed in contentment. "Sean Locke."

"Oh, _yes. _He's so dreamy! He's the Hufflepuff Seeker, isn't he?"

"Yes. I'm trying out for Quidditch this year just so that if I get on the team, I can see him."

Rolling my eyes, I delved into the book and quickly became engrossed.

* * *

The Hogwarts Express rolled to a stop after night had fallen. Dressed in our school robes, we filed out with the other students and left our luggage near the front gate. The air was getting colder, hinting at autumn and the end of summer.

"I missed that smell." Lily admitted as we climbed into a carriage pulled by a thestral. "That chilly, drying leaf smell. You know?"

"I know." I couldn't be happier about it, either. It meant the end of an awful summer, the worst of my life, and the fresh start at Hogwarts. A second chance.

I rubbed my fingers against the opal necklace. _If only you'd had a second chance, Virginia. I'm so sorry._

The carriage rolled up the winding stone path. Near the top of the hill, I was high enough that I could see the wide expanse of dark water that was the lake. The lights on the boats, like second stars on Earth, twinkled warmly.

"Sirius's brother is out there." I murmured to Lily as the carriages halted near the arched entrance of the castle. "Regulus."

Lily lifted a brow. "I hope he's nothing like his brother."

"He's worse."

Lily grimaced. "Great. Another Black."

We filed through the familiar corridor, steadily climbing with the mass of other Hogwarts students. Unlike last year when our class had been isolated, we were grouped together with every year other than the first years. Tall, grown-up seventh years stood out like towering trees among saplings of varying heights. I spotted Sean Locke, the kind Hufflepuff player, who had carried my books for me last year. He caught my eye and smiled. Blushing, I turned away.

Lily nudged me. "Why are you red?"

I shrugged. "Just hot from climbing all of these stairs. You'd think they would have installed elevators or escalators by now. It's 1971."

Lily's eyes twinkled. "I'm sure. And you know that electricity doesn't work here. Too much magic. Didn't you read _Hogwarts, A History _like four times?"

I could feel my face heat. "I guess."

Lily giggled and hugged me.

The wide oak doors were open and welcoming. The four long wooden tables sat empty, waiting to be filled by their Houses. Lily tugged me to the Gryffindor table, but Angelina pulled me back. "Come on. It's probably the only day in the whole year that she needs to sit at the Ravenclaw table."

Lily gave me a look. She knew about Virginia. She knew that one seat at a House table in the Great Hall would remain filled by a different student this year because my sister was dead. She knew that I needed that extra support right now. Angelina didn't.

But I gave Lily a smile and nodded. "It's alright, Lily. I'll sit with you tomorrow at breakfast."

Lily brushed her long red hair back. It had grown at least four inches over the summer. She had probably helped it along with a charm. "Promise."

It was an order, not a question. I smiled for real this time and held out my pinky. "I pinky promise."

We interlocked our tiniest fingers for a moment and then separated. Sirius and James bumped into me roughly on their way to the Gryffindor table. They both grinned good-naturedly at me. I gave them my best McGonagall-glower. Remus shook his head at them. Peter tagged behind like a puppy. They alighted like fat birds at the table next to Lily, who rolled her eyes and promptly moved away. James Potter watched her go with an almost hurt look. Then Sirius said something to him, and he burst into laughter, distracted.

Slightly disturbed, I turned to face the staff tables at the front of the Hall. Dumbledore was sitting on his high-backed golden chair, looking down at the students. His long silver goatee glinted in the candlelight. His electric blue eyes found mine. He gave a small smile and nodded his head. Remembering my time in his office and the horrible news I'd received there, I could only force a half-smile back before diverting my attention to the incoming first years, led by a formidable-looking McGonagall. I was surprised at how much smaller they looked than my class had been. There were twenty or so, but they looked so scared and nervous that they could have disappeared like fleas. I recognized Regulus Black, who stood out like a crow among chickadees. His head was held high and his gray eyes stared straight ahead.

"He's confident," Angelina muttered as he strode past. I watched Sirius, who only looked at his brother with a cursory glance before looking away.

What kind of relationship did the two brothers have? Clearly, it wasn't anything like the bond I'd shared with Virginia.

McGonagall looked exceptionally sour this year, as if she could permanently taste a lemon wedge in her thin mouth. Though she was tough, I had respect for the woman. She didn't take crap from anyone, especially not Sirius and James, and she held a position of high authority in the school. She was second only to Dumbledore.

If anything happened to him, would she become the new Headmistress?

The first students, Blythe Adams and Hayley Beaufort, were Sorted into Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, respectively. I felt a small blow to my stomach when the first student was Sorted. Would Virginia have gone to the same House? Or would she have gone somewhere else?

Would she have even been able to attend Hogwarts, had she lived? Would her health permit it? Would Mum?

"Black, Regulus." Professor McGonagall called. Sirius's brother loped up the steps and sat down on the stool. I noticed several Slytherins looking at him with interest. Particularly three boys sitting in a group together, Edward Nott, Logan Avery, and William Mulciber. They were staring at Regulus Black like a pack of wolves, like he was a fresh hunk of meat they wanted to devour. I felt a chill spread through me. Was it a warning? Or just dislike?

"Slytherin!" The Hat called almost instantly. Regulus grinned so wide that all of his teeth showed. The entire Slytherin table burst into applause, louder than any other Sorting I'd heard. I glanced at Sirius, who kept his head turned away from Regulus and the table of Slytherins.

"What's going on with them?" Angelina muttered as Regulus jogged to the Slytherin table and was quickly absorbed by the three wolf-like boys, who embraced him like a little brother. They were talking and laughing, but it reminded me of wild dogs who had just won a select piece of prey. Even more disturbed, I forced myself to look away.

Professor McGonagall frowned deeply at the ruckus. "That's quite enough. Settle down."

The Slytherin table slowly eased off into near-silence. The muttering and whispers continued. After a moment, McGonagall resumed the Sorting.

"Did she say 'Black'?" Angelina asked quietly. "Like, related to Sirius Black?"

"Yes." I was watching Regulus now. He was completely invested in whatever those three older boys were telling him. I wondered what kinds of nonsense they were filling him with.

"He does look a lot like his brother." Angelina said thoughtfully. "Handsome. But arrogant. Too arrogant."

But I was only half-listening. Part of me felt cold watching Avery, Mulciber and Nott take young Regulus under their dark wings. I didn't know any of the boys personally, but before I had known the Marauders, the Gryffindor boys had never given me with anything more than annoyance and anger. The Slytherin group filled me with apprehension and dread.

The worst thing the Marauder boys had ever done was bully others. And usually just for a laugh. But those Slytherin boys seemed like the kind who would torture animals to death. Or people. Not just for fun, but for pleasure and for a greater purpose.

I shook my head. Where were these thoughts coming from? I chewed my lower lip, watching McGonagall carry the rickety stool and tattered Hat out of the Great Hall.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts." Dumbledore said, standing at the golden owl podium, smiling warmly down at his students. "It is my pleasure to introduce myself to our new students as Professor Dumbledore. To our undergraduates, welcome back. As it was last year, the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds. First years are not allowed on brooms unless under the tutelage of Madame Hooch. The Whomping Willow is also out of bounds, to those who do not wish to meet a grisly end."

I felt my heart stop. My blood turned to ice in horror. I stared at Remus, but he was staring down at his plate, his face set tightly and his hand gripped tightly on his crunched-up napkin.

My pulse roared in my ears. What was Dumbledore getting at? Was he talking about me and the other Marauders? Did he somehow _know _that we knew how to get past the tree, and why it was there in the first place?

Was he talking about the curse?

I swallowed hard, my throat convulsing. Sweat beaded on my forehead, but Dumbledore wasn't looking at me or Remus. Rather, he was looking at the Slytherin table with a look of gentle concern.

"I also want to caution students to be extra vigilant this year. As some of you may have heard, there are rumors of a certain dark wizard and his followers about."

There were several confused murmurs.

"I want to assure you all that there is no danger while you are Hogwarts." Dumbledore continued. "So long as you follow the rules, stay within the bounds, and treat your fellow witch or wizard as you would like to be treated."

For the first time I noticed that there was a new face among the staff table. And one face was missing.

"Where's Professor Munkee?" I mumbled to Angelina. "He's gone."

Her brown eyes scanned the row of faces, then widened in surprise. "You're right."

"It also gives me great pleasure to introduce our newest staff member." Dumbledore announced, as if he had heard us. "Professor Munkee has decided to resign from his position as Professor for the Defense of the Dark Arts so that he can pursue a full-time career as an Auror."

There was a smattering of applause, mostly from the Gryffindor table, where Professor Munkee had been the most popular.

"Taking his place is Professor Mackenzie Folsom. If you would, please join me in welcoming our newest teacher!"

A tall, muscular man stood up from Professor Munkee's chair. He had long blonde hair with visible streaks of brown pulled back in a high ponytail. It fell down his shoulder blades. He had a full mouth and dark, black eyelashes. He wore spectacles, but unlike Dumbledore, they made him look unapproachable, especially when the light reflected white off of the lenses. He looked as formidable than McGonagall.

The Slytherin table exploded into applause again, making me even more uneasy.

"Professor Folsom joins our ranks from the northern mountains of Transylvania. He has much experience with vampires and dark magic and how to protect oneself from the black arts." Dumbledore smiled at the pale man, who sat down stiffly. He didn't smile once.

"I don't like him." I confessed to Angelina. "I think he _is _a vampire."

Angelina giggled. "He's kind of handsome. His skin is flawless."

"Hold a mirror up so that he can see. If he doesn't show up, then I'm right."

Angelina chortled. "Come on, Amber, I highly doubt that Dumbledore would hire a _vampire._"

_But he'd allow a werewolf to attend as a student. _I almost blurted the truth, but kept my mouth closed. Remus was harmless. It was only the beast inside that was a threat to life.

Professor Folsom stared around the room, never blinking. He looked cold and strong. He poured a flask full of red liquid into a wineglass and sipped delicately. _Definitely a vampire_. I thought, a chill creeping up my spine.

"I also wanted to remind students that Quidditch tryouts are open to second years and above at the end of the month. Please give it your best shot if you are interested. And please do consider our long list of extracurricular clubs and do not hesitate to inquire with your Head of House. Without further ado, let us enjoy our fabulous dinner!"

Mountains of food instantly appeared, clouds of steam curling from whole turkeys and fillets of steak. Other students immediately heaped piles of food onto their plates, but my stomach was a sour ocean churning violently. I wanted nothing to do with the food or with the Slytherin gang or Professor Folsom. I hadn't known Professor Munkee well, but he was kind and fair and reminded me of my grandfather, though a decade or two younger. Professor Folsom made my skin crawl.

I picked up a piece of garlic bread and nibbled it quietly. I knew enough about magical creatures that vampires were repelled by garlic. I'd eat it three times a day if it kept the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at bay.

Sirius never looked at his brother again that night.

* * *

The first day of classes was a refreshing reminder from last year. All of my professors were the same. The times had changed for all of them, though. I now had Professor Slughorn at the beginning of the day, still with Lily, and now had Defense Against the Dark Arts at the end, even after Astrology. When I walked into the classroom, lit only by candles, I discovered I was still with James and Sirius. Except this time, they motioned for me to come over and cleared a space at their table. Surprised, I came over and frowned down at them. "What?"

"Sit with us." Sirius said. "We saved this spot for you."

My frown deepened. "Why?"

"Because we're in an awesome club?" James said slowly, as if I was a dumb child he was speaking to. "Just sit down, Harkstone."

I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather not. Just because we're… you know… doesn't mean we're friends. I made that clear."

"Oh, just get off your high horse and sit down." Sirius sighed, exasperated. "Girls."

"What about us?" I pressed as I lowered myself reluctantly in the seat near the window. "Is there some great mystery?"

James and Sirius exchanged a look. "Yeah." Sirius said. "Why are girls obsessed with being clean?"

"What?" I blinked. "Clean?"

"Yeah. They shower like, once a day."  
I slapped my forehead with my hand. "It is six. I am tired. I want dinner. Can we please not talk about this now?"

"Ooh, here comes the newbie." James muttered in excitement. I turned my head and watched Professor Folsom descent the small spiral staircase from his office slowly. He paused, his face bathed in moonlight. The class held its breath, waiting for him to say something.

A wolf howled.

I felt a chill run up my spine. _Remus_. It was almost the full moon. Two days from now, and he'd undergo his transformation. It was unfortunate that the full moon was just three days after term began. _Poor Remus._

"Ah, listen." Professor Folsom said slowly, surprising me. His voice was high, feminine, but deep. It was a combination that I had never heard before.

Another wolf joined us, a chorus of howls. "The children of the night." Professor Folsom crooned. "Beautiful music that they make."

I tugged on my opal pendant, already uncomfortable and wishing Professor Munkee had never left. James and Sirius looked dubious. Avery, who shared our class, stared with rapt attention at Professor Folsom.

He sighed and blinked slowly. "Welcome to your second year of Defense Against the Dark Arts, children."

My flesh crawled. I didn't want him calling us children. I didn't want him calling me anything. I just wanted to leave.

For the first time, I was grateful to have James Potter and Sirius Black in my class. At least I wasn't alone.

Professor Folsom swept elegantly to the front of the class. He wore a long ruby-red cloak that almost brushed the floor. My nose wrinkled at the sweet tang of perfume. Was that coming from _him?_

"The first thing you need to learn about the Dark Arts is that it is magic." His long, pale fingers skimmed his wand. "It isn't evil. Only the wizard who wields it is evil."

I rose my hand into the air. Professor Folsom dipped his head at me. "Yes?"

He spoke slowly, drawing out each word in that odd voice of his. "Excuse me, sir, but if the Dark Arts aren't evil, then why are they _called _the 'dark' arts?"

Several whispers went around the room. Professor Folsom looked mildly interested. "Just because something is called 'dark' doesn't necessarily mean it is correct."

"So, you're saying that all magic is good." I went on, fueled by a deep, inner fuel of anger and rage that came from somewhere born of grief and pain.

Professor Folsom nodded once. "Children, all magic is good. There is no such thing as magic. There is good and bad wizards. But magic in itself is not evil."

"Yes, you said that." I said tartly. This drew a hard nudge from Sirius. He didn't look at me. But I knew it was a warning to stop.

Professor Folsom chuckled. "You must be a Ravenclaw. So sure of yourself and your precious knowledge."

"You're telling me that the Three Unforgivable Curses aren't evil?" I said coldly, surprised by how loud my voice carried. My hands were cold and shaking.

Professor Folsom's eyes flickered. "Someone has been reading ahead for their year."

He sounded so condescending, so coolly aloof, that it only sparked the fire inside of me. I drew myself up in my chair, meeting his dark eyes squarely. "Knowledge is power."

He tittered. "Are you familiar with the story of Adam and Eve? What is your name, child?"  
"It's Amber." I spat. "Not 'child'."

"My apologies, Miss Amber." He said easily. "As stated before… are you familiar with Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge?"

"My family are Christians." I retorted. "I know about the story of creation."

"Regardless of what you believe, do you know that Eve was told by God _not _to eat from the Tree of Knowledge? The tree itself was not evil. But God told Eve that she wasn't to know everything, because she would try to become like Him. But Eve did not listen. She was so greedy for power, for knowledge, that she ate the fruit anyway. She disobeyed God and became knowledgable. She lost her innocence and caused sin to enter the world. Violence, death, evil, all entered the world because a woman decided she needed to know it all."

My heart was beating way too fast. And with every word he spoke, I could feel his calm, calculated retort pierce through the anger, leaving only fear and confusion.

Professor Folsom half-smiled, looking curious and expectant. "Well, Miss Amber?"

But I couldn't speak. My mouth was dry, and my tongue stuck to the roof my mouth. I felt like he had ripped open my deepest secrets and laid them bare. When I looked into his dark blue eyes, I could see my sister's death splayed across the windows of his soul. She had died because I wanted knowledge that no one else had. My sister was dead because of that thirst and greed.

He knew. He somehow knew.

Professor Folsom made a noise of disappointment. "I admire your candor, Miss Amber, but I cannot allow such insubordination in my classroom. Five points will be taken from Ravenclaw."

Heat colored my cheeks. Shame.

"Jeez, Harkstone," Sirius hissed in my ear, "I'm glad you're not a Gryffindor. First day back and already losing points for your House!"

I stared at the whorls in my desk. It was a good reminder that Black and Potter weren't my friends. They were just affiliates in our organization.

"Please open your books to page four." Professor Folsom said in his rich, high voice. "I will award five points to the one who volunteers to read first."

Lifting my head slowly, I stared right at Professor Folsom. Shaking with defiance, I slowly raised my hand into the air. I could feel the eyes of every student on me in the classroom.

Professor Folsom looked faintly amused. But his dark blue eyes were as cold as the ocean. "You, Miss Amber?"

I met his gaze as directly as possible. "Yes, sir. I would like to read first."

He chuckled quietly. "Nice try. Five points from Ravenclaw." He looked to Avery and smiled. "And five points to Slytherin for our first volunteer."

Floored, I could only stare in pure shock as Avery grinned and said, "Thank you, Professor," and began to read.

As I listened to Avery stumble through the paragraphs, a strange whining noise began to fill my ears. I glanced around, wondering if anyone else could hear it, but everyone was looking into their textbooks, following along.

_Read along, child. Or it'll be ten points this time._

I jumped. I stared at Professor Folsom, who was smiling pleasantly at Avery. But I had _heard _his voice in my head, clear and strong. I swallowed hard against the horror and panic.

Somehow, he had spoken telepathically. Either he _was _a vampire, or he was an Occlumence.

Professor Folsom turned his pale face towards mine and smiled his ruby-red lips mockingly. _Head down. Or would you care to make it fifteen?_

Thunderstruck, I bent my head and followed the words without actually absorbing them. I had read them before.

My head was light and dizzy. How was this possible? How could Dumbledore have hired someone like Professor Folsom?

One thing was for sure: unless I could drop Defense Against the Dark Arts, it was going to be a very long second year at Hogwarts without my little sister.


	19. The Invisibility Cloak

"What do you mean Professor Folsom doesn't like you?" Lily asked as we sat on the edge of the lake, watching fish touch the surface of the water with their heads before diving back down into the depths. Lily tore off another piece of stale bread from her breakfast and tossed it to them. A silver fish leapt out of the dark water and gulped down a black fly that hovered too closely.

"I mean he hates me." I nibbled on a piece of the sourdough bread while Lily watched a flock of geese land on the lake and begin to eat the tiny flecks of food.

Lily frowned. "Define 'hate'."

I shook my head. "Meaning that he thinks I'm a know-it-all. He isn't just annoyed though, like Flitwick can be. He looks at me like I disgust him. Like he wants to kill me."

This time she turned her head, surprise flickering in her green eyes. "That's a bit far, don't you think?"

I shrugged. A goose had snatched a careless fish in its black beak. It wriggled hopelessly. I turned away so I didn't have to watch it die.

Lily was quiet for a moment. "Amber? Did he hurt you?"

I drew my knees up to my chest. "No. Not exactly. I think I could hear him speaking in my mind. Like a Legilimens."

"A what?"

"Someone who can read minds. Not all wizards can do it. It's something you have to be naturally good at. Like how you're good with Charms and Potions."

Now she looked troubled. "Are teachers allowed to do that? Professor McGonagall said using magic against students was illegal. Did he really _read _your mind?"

Lily had run out of bread to throw to the geese. Now they floated around restlessly, searching for more food that wasn't going to arrive. No help for those who needed it.

"It wasn't exactly like he was reading my mind. Not like pages in a book. He was just… there. Like he had broken through a weak wall and could probably break through more. It wasn't a good feeling."

"He violated you." Lily's eyes were wide. "Not like… _that_. But he completely invaded your privacy. Maybe we should tell McGonagall."

I rested my forehead on my knees. "And what good would that do? What if she doesn't believe us? Folsom will find out. And if he stays, what else could he do? I get the feeling he isn't the kind of guy to just let things go. He's different. Cold. No empathy or remorse. He holds grudges and won't let them go."

"Wow." Lily sighed deeply. "I hope you're wrong, for your sake. That's creepy Amber."

"I know." I thought of Mum, who wasn't frozen and dead like Folsom, but certainly remembered wrongs and never let the perpetrator forget them. "I hope I'm wrong… but I've been reading my _Care of Magical Creatures _book."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, not again, Amber. What is he now, a werewolf or a male siren?"

Werewolf. Remus.

She looked at me curiously. "Are you alright? You sure you don't need to see Madame Pomfrey?"

I waved her off. "No, no. I've been reading, anyway, and I think I know what Folsom might be. He's just too cold and mean to be a human. I think he's a vampire."

Lily laughed, the sound like pealing bells. "That's ridiculous, Amber! Professor Folsom is _not _a vampire."

I rose to my feet, my legs stiff from sitting by the lake for so long. Lily reached for my sleeve. "No, don't go! Come on, I was just being honest. I just think you're overreacting a little bit."

I pulled my arm away, dusting off my school robes. "Well, I'll prove that he's a vampire. I'll find evidence to support my claim, and when I prove that he _is _a blood-sucking corpse, I'll show Dumbledore and he'll have to fire him. There's no way Dumbledore would ever let a vampire into his school. Not to teach."  
Lily shook her head, but she was smiling. "You can never admit you're wrong, can you Amber?"

I could feel my mouth pressing into a tight line. "I'm not wrong about this Lily. Also, I need to learn how to become an Occlumens so that I can block Folsom."

Now Lily was laughing quietly. "You're crazy, Amber. Crazy, but a genius. You could probably do it."

" 'Probably' isn't an option. It's got to be certain."

"I love you, Amber!" Lily chortled as I walked away, textbooks in hand. "I'll help you anyway I can."

"Do me a favor and start reading about vampires and Occlumency. And start eating garlic. I bet vampires don't like blood that tastes like garlic."

I could still hear her laughing, even when I climbed up the hill and left her alone by the water.

* * *

Dinner was served at six o'clock sharp that night. Plates full of roast turkey, baked sweet potatoes, and bowls of sweet cherry cranberry sauce steamed before me and the rest of the Ravenclaws. While my Housemates tucked in and heaped generous portions onto their plates, I flipped through another page of the _Secrets of the Night: Creatures that Walk in the Dark _textbook. Pictures and paragraphs sprang up at me, filled with details on various magical creatures that existed solely when the sun was absent from the sky.

"That's a little heavy reading for a second year." said a high voice behind me.

My heart burst into a frantic sprint. I turned slightly and found myself staring right into the face of Professor Folsom.

"I like to read." I said as evenly as possible, feeling the crazy pounding of my heartbeat in my ears.

Professor Folsom gazed back, his blue eyes completely devoid of emotion. He readjusted his spectacles. "I wasn't aware that book was available for students to read. It should have been shelved in the Restricted Section."

My blood turned to ice. Two days ago, that was exactly where I had gotten it from, two hours after Madame Pince had retired for the night. Thanks to the feather-light charm, I had been able to practically float past the security measures that usually prevented students from accessing the caged room.

"I guess they messed up." I lied, schooling my face to be as blank as Regulus's had been on the train after Remus had reprimanded him. "I didn't know it wasn't okay to read."

I could feel the stares of other students on me. Teachers didn't usually have conversations with students while they ate. Then again, students generally didn't read instead of eat.

"Be careful, Miss Amber." Professor Folsom said coolly. "It would be very unfortunate for anything else on Hogwarts to turn up missing."

There was a sudden pressure in my mind. I could feel it, like fingers pressing against the glass of a window. I stiffened. _He's trying to get into my mind._

I visualized a thick black wall, preventing access. Trying to prevent access.

Professor Folsom's eyes flickered. The sensation in my mind ceased. He folded the book closed and picked it up in his pale hands. His fingers were long and bony. I noticed three rings, one on each ring finger and another on his index. Before I could get a better look, he brushed his left hand against mine. He was as cold as ice. Then he walked away without a word.

"What's _his _problem?" Angelina Azadian whispered hotly after the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had swept up to the Staff Table. "He's really got it in for you, doesn't he?"

"Well, you know the professors." James Potter said smoothly, sliding in next to her. "They usually don't appreciate it when a student is smarter than they are."

"Not Amber's fault she was born with a brain the size of a library." Sirius added, squeezing in between us.

Rolling my eyes, I moved to the Gryffindor table. Lily quickly made room for me.

"Hey, Harkstone!" James called, following right behind me. "We need to talk to you later."

"Meet us tonight in front of the One-Eyed Witch. Eleven." Sirius whispered in my ear.

I frowned. I waited a second before nodding once.

Lily looked perplexed. "What are you planning? Revenge?"

"Something like that." Sirius said, grinning. "What do you think, Remus?"

"I think students should respect their professors." He replied calmly, taking a bite of mashed potatoes.

I glared at him. "I think that should be mutual. Respect for each other."

Remus shrugged, clearly wanting to remain neutral.

"Just be careful." Lily fussed. "I don't think it's a good idea to get any professor angry. Especially Professor Folsom."

"I don't want to make him angry." I corrected. "I just want him gone. Maybe we can get a petition to bring Professor Munkee back."

"He's an Auror now." Remus reminded me. "My dad works in the Ministry. Says that his skills are invaluable. Plus, they offered to pay him triple his Hogwarts salary." He looked worried. "You didn't hear that from me."

"I'd never betray your trust, Remus." Peter gushed, but his adoring eyes were only for Sirius and James.

"Like I said," James went on, his hazel eyes meeting mine, "we need to talk." He tapped Sirius on the shoulder. "Come on, let's bounce. I want to get some practice in before the other students get out."

"Practice for what?" I asked as Sirius followed James. Peter jumped up to tail them. "Practice for _what_?"

"You'll see!" James said, waving me off. He disappeared around the corner with James and Peter at his flanks.

"Why aren't you going with them?" Lily asked Remus, who made no move to get up. "You four are a package deal."

Remus added more food to his plate. "It's not important. I've never been a huge fan of what they're doing. Not really my taste."

Frustration gnawed. "_What _are they doing?"

Remus grinned. "I guess you'll have to find out later at our little talk."

Lily sipped her green tea. "Whatever you five are up to, I don't want any part of it. Someone's got to earn points for our House, not lose them. If you're caught of bed, especially by Folsom…" She shook her head. "Then Slytherin wins the Cup."

"I can win Ravenclaw the Cup." I retorted.

"Not with the way you are with Folsom." Remus countered.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll see you tonight."

"Where are you going?" Lily called after me.

"To prove a point." I responded, making a beeline for the library.

* * *

The halls of Hogwarts were silent as I made my way past sleeping portraits. The One-Eyed Witch statue stood near the other end of the Hogwarts castle, far from the Ravenclaw Tower. I made sure I wasn't being followed, my wand dark and unused in my pocket. I knew Filch patrolled one side of the castle while his henchwoman Mrs. Norris took the other. I feared Mrs. Norris much more than Filch, because she could see in the dark and smell me. I had left a small bowl of turkey near the base of the Ravenclaw Tower steps, high up in the castle and far from our meeting place.

There was no sign of Filch or the cat as I halted in front of the statue. I jumped a foot when a hand reached out of the darkness and grabbed me back into the shadows. Another hand clamped tightly over my mouth. I fumbled desperately for my wand, thinking the worst, when Sirius hissed in my ear, "Shhh!"

I relaxed, wrenching myself away from their arms. "What the hell?" I snapped. "You scared me!"

"Thought we were Folsom?" James snickered. "If you hadn't noticed, he smells like a cloud of perfume. Can't miss it."

"Good point…" I admitted reluctantly, my wand now out and illuminated. The four boys stood in a semi-circle behind the Witch's statue, hidden in the alcove of darkness. No one would see us. Not even Folsom or Mrs. Norris.

"You need to relax, Harkstone." James chided. "You're making me nervous."

"Me too." Peter whined.

"Quiet, Peter." I said derisively. "The adults are talking."  
His lower lip quivered.

"Amber." Remus said. "Come on. What's going on?"

"You're extra sour today." James noticed.

"Harkstone's got this theory that Folsom is a vampire." Sirius announced.

I felt indignant heat climb the ladder of my spine, all the way into my face. "It's not just a theory. I have proof."

"Really." James said flatly.

"I do." I insisted. "I went to the library today while you buffoons were doing whatever you were. I didn't check out any books, but I did do some light reading."

"Light reading… as in just one book in the encyclopedia?" Sirius hedged. He dodged a shove from me.

"Shut up. This is serious." I was still shaken from my first encounter with Folsom, when he had spoken directly into my mind. "There are several traits that can identify a vampire."

"Like what?" Peter squeaked in fear.

"Vampires don't have a reflection. They can't enter a residence unless invited. They feed off of blood. It doesn't need to be human, just animal. Vampires will burn in sunlight and eventually die if in the light for longer than a few seconds. They have an extreme aversion to crosses, garlic, and wooden stakes. They typically don't like werewolves. Most vampires are also able to transform into bats or wolves. Sometimes both, but that's rare. They have ice-cold skin because they're just the walking dead. The most famous vampire in history is Count Dracula. Bram Stoker wrote a biography about him once. Most Muggles think it's just fiction. But in reality, it was just a leaked book from our world."

"How the hell do you know so much?" Sirius demanded. "How does that all fit in your brain?"

"You'd be surprised at what people are capable of." I said. "Even you. I know you two are smarter than you appear."

"Ouch." James laughed.

"I'm not hear to insult you or get into a fight." I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. "Vampires can read minds, too. And hypnotize. That's why it's important not to make eye contact. That's when they can control you."

"What if Folsom is just a Legilimens?" Remus argued. "And a night owl?"

"I've thought about that." I countered. "So I'm going to do some simple tests to see if he really is a vampire, or just a Legilimens. He was trying to get into my head. If he's not a vampire, he can do it without making eye contact. I'll see if he has a reflection. Or if he can walk in sunlight. You four must have noticed that he's never outside in the daytime. And he never walks in the sunlight inside. He always avoids the windows."

"Maybe." Remus pondered. "You want us to help you with your theory."

"Yes, I do."

"Let's do it!" Sirius said jubilantly. "It'll be fun to watch him absolutely drain your House points this year."

"If you last that long." James added gleefully. "Another win in the bag for Gryffindor."

I rolled my eyes. "We'll see about that. I still have other classes that I can cream you in."

They grumbled their reluctant agreement.

"What were you three doing earlier today?" I asked curiously. "When you left dinner."

"Unlike _you_, bookworm, I enjoy sports." James declared arrogantly.

"Brawns over brains?" I said sweetly, earning a laugh from the other three boys. James flushed.

"I'm trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team." James went on, puffing out his chest. "My dad and I used to play all the time at home. My cousins too. I'm going to be a Chaser."

"Maybe I'll try out for Ravenclaw's." I said boldly.

"Bad move, Harkstone." James said indifferently. "No chance. You're more of an indoor girl."

"We'll see about that." I said calmly, but my hands shook with the heat of adrenaline. I could see James' fists clenched at his sides, though he was smiling tightly.

"Alright, break it up, you two." Remus sighed. "James, tell Amber why we're really here."

"This isn't a therapy group." Sirius joked. "Show her, James."

"I don't know." He said vaguely. "She might tell."

This time I took a step toward him threateningly. "I took a Vow, remember? Last summer? I _can't _tell anyone what happens in this little 'therapy group' or I'll die."

Sirius folded his arms, looking smug.

James stared at me wordlessly. Then he reached into his bag and pulled out air.

"What the hell?" I peered closer, listening to Sirius sniggering. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

James snorted. "The smart girl doesn't know?"

I glared at him. "The smart girl can flatten your ass in Quidditch. Or anything that involves a challenge."

"Just show her, James." Remus interjected. "Before you two kill each other."

"I think it's better if he shows her rather than tells her." Sirius suggested, eyes sparkling mischievously.

James shook out whatever he was holding and draped it over his shoulders. His body vanished instantly.

I flinched back, bumping into Remus, who quickly steadied me. Sirius burst out laughing.

"You've got to be kidding!" I yelled. "Do you know how rare those are?!"

James looked extremely smug. "My family's had it for generations. It's my turn now. And someday, my kid'll have it to."

"How did your family get an _Invisibility Cloak_?" I said breathlessly, moving forward towards James in spite of myself. I reached out tentatively into the air and felt my fingers brush against soft fabric. James pulled the cloak higher and I watched his head disappear.

He was completely invisible.

"You could go anywhere." I said, thunderstruck. "You're untouchable in that cloak."  
"I don't know." James said, worried. "I think it makes me look fat."

The boys roared with laughter. I felt a smile twitch on my lips. And for the first time I could remember, in spite of myself, I laughed too.

* * *

The two weeks of September passed quickly. The leaves exploded in a violent array of color. The school was abuzz with excitement over the upcoming Quidditch tryouts. One morning over breakfast, a long package had arrived by owl for James. It was a Nimbus 1001, complete with a care kit and a fresh uniform. I was not the only one who thought it extremely arrogant of the Potters to send a personalized robe that clearly read POTTER, 3, in bold block letters on the back. Even McGonagall looked particularly sour when she saw James open his gift and grandly show off his new clothes and broom.

"What a toerag." Lily muttered as James strutted past in the hallway, juggling three dormant Snitches in his hands. "He thinks he's so great. He hasn't even made the team yet!"

"Maybe we should watch him practice later." I said, watching a flock of first and second year girls surround James to observe. "Just to see what he's really made of."

Lily snorted. "I'd rather rot."

"I couldn't agree more." Severus muttered blackly beside her. "Though I hear Regulus Black is also considering trying out for the Slytherin team. Not that I care."

"It sounds like you do." Lily said teasingly. "Who else is planning on trying out?"

Severus, delighted to be the center of Lily's attention, smiled. "Mulciber and Avery. Nott as well. Malfoy's the team Captain."

"I wonder what would happen if Sirius made the team and would have to play against his own brother." I mused as Lily and I made our way to Potions class. "It would be quite interesting."

Severus looked grumpy again, as if he hadn't known I was present. "Regulus is almost as insufferable as Potter."

"That's quite an achievement." Lily agreed, branching off down into the dungeons with me. "See you at lunch, Severus."

"I don't know why he doesn't like me." I muttered as we walked into Slughorn's classroom, already filled with the different aromas of various ingredients. Professor Slughorn was busily adding a list of ingredients onto the chalkboard.

"He's just… shy." Lily said. "He's really a kind soul, Amber. It just takes him time to get to know people and trust them."

"Right." I said mistrustfully. "Just remember… there's a reason why he was Sorted into Slytherin."

Lily rounded on me, her green eyes flaming. "What's that supposed to mean? That just because he's in Merlin's House that makes him a bad person?"

Heat flooded my cheeks. "No… I didn't mean…"

"Well, I've seen you hanging with James Potter, Amber. And he isn't a nice person. Not at all! So don't you start in on Severus. He's more of a friend than James Potter will ever be!"

Stunned, I stared at Lily. "I didn't mean it like that, Lily. What's wrong with you?"

Lily slammed her textbook onto the table. Several students looked up in alarm. "I don't like you hanging with James Potter, Amber. _Or _Sirius Black. They aren't good people. They're bullies and you shouldn't be having anything to do with them!"

"I _don't!" _I flashed back, surprised by my sudden flare of fury. "We aren't friends! I would never be friends with those thugs!"

"Then what was that meeting about?" Lily snapped. "You used to avoid them and never have a thing to do with them. And all of a sudden this year, you're in this little… _pack_?"

Furious, I realized that other students were watching our fight. I pushed my chair in roughly. "Fine. You let Severus tell you that I'm one of them. I can't believe you'd listen to him! You know he doesn't like me. He's just trying to get us to stop being friends so he can have you all to himself!"

"Find a different partner for today." Lily said stiffly. "I don't want to work with you today."

Hurt, I hustled to the back of the room. I plunked down into a chair and stared mutinously at the back of Lily's head and her long red hair. She hastily tied it back into a ponytail. She didn't look back.

Professor Slughorn turned to face the class. "Ah, good. We're all here. Class, please join me in welcoming our assistant today. This is my rising star, Sean Locke! He will be tutoring those who need assistance today if need be!"

My head snapped up at the familiar name. Every girl in the class – Lily included – was suddenly paying rapt attention. Sean Locke, the boy who had carried my books and guided me to this very class a year ago, strode in the room, smiling. He had grown at least four inches taller. His shoulders had filled out as well. He shook Professor Slughorn's hands. And then he made his way right to me.

A different kind of heat burned my cheeks as Sean took the empty seat beside me. He smiled warmly when I glanced at him. I looked away, wide-eyed and dizzy.

"Students, you may know Sean Locke as the Captain and Seeker for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team." Slughorn said. "He's also a member of the Slug Club, my elite membership for the most talented potions students in Hogwarts. His father, Bernard Locke, is the Vice Minister of Magic, as you may well already know."

_Oh, dear God_. I wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. What on Earth did this teen royalty want with a simple farm girl like me?

"He'll be assisting us today in our production of Sleeping Draught. It will take about an hour to make. Most of that time will be spent studying for your first test of the year."

There were several groans, which Slughorn waved off merrily. "You'll need a partner for this assignment. Double the teamwork means half the time! But I still expect a full effort. Your next test will be heavily drawn from this assignment. Good luck!"

There was a bustle of activity as students jumped up and began assembling their potions. Lily kept her back to me. She spoke to another girl – Cressida Gruffalo – another Gryffindor. She had clearly meant what she had said about wanting to work with someone else today.

"I don't see anyone coming to claim you." Sean said teasingly.

Blushing, I tucked a loose strand of hair behind an ear. "That's because I'm the worst potions maker in the class. They all know better."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm here to tutor." Sean replied, his gray eyes twinkling.

For some reason I couldn't meet his eyes. My gaze fell away to the small cauldron and beakers waiting to be filled.

"Do you have your textbook?" Sean hedged.

Swallowing hard, I pulled out the book and laid it open on the table. Sean pointed to the front of the room. "I think he's written the steps for us."

I closed my eyes. Was I really this clumsy in class? Lily had never made me feel so stupid. Then again, neither was Sean. It was just my own inability.

"No problem." Sean said easily, gathering our ingredients. "This is a good potion for beginners."

"Second year beginners?" I said dubiously.

"Better late than never." Sean nodded to the board. "What happens first?"

"We grind the ingredients into paste?"

"Good. Make sure you do it in a specific order."

I added four sprigs of lavender and the standard ingredient into the stone bowl. "Is there a potion that can turn you invisible?"

"Sure." Sean said, measuring out two blobs of flobberworms. "You'll learn that next year."

"What about invisibility cloaks?" I asked, trying to sound casual. If Sean had family high up in the Ministry, he would know a thing or two.

Sean paused, before waving his wand to ignite a fire underneath the cauldron. He didn't say any words.

"How'd you do that?" I said.

"Nonverbal spells. You'll start learning it when you're a sixth year."

"But you're a fifth year."

Sean smiled. "You remembered. I thought you'd forgotten me."

I blushed again. "No… I have photographic memory."

"That'll come in handy when you have your O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S. down the line." Sean watched me add the paste into the cauldron and stir. "Make sure you count your stirs."

"So… are cloaks illegal?" I asked as I let the mixture simmer.

Sean shrugged. "Not if they're monitored and issued by the Ministry. They can be very powerful, and used dangerously. But most places, like Gringotts, have special charms that can detect people using them." He looked amused. "Why? Do you have one?"

_Not me. Just James Potter_. I thought, but instead offered a small smile back. "Maybe for my birthday."

Sean chuckled. "I'll see what I can do. When's your birthday?"

_Was he serious_? My mind whirled in a million directions. "I don't actually want one. Like you said, too much power. Plus, I can just learn how to make a potion for invisibility."

"I can respect that." Sean said. "Have you thought about joining the Slug Club? I can put in a good word for you. Plus some crystallized pineapple and oak mead."

"His favorites. I remember. You told me last year."

"Right." He smiled again. He had perfect teeth. Remus had those two canines in front that were just slightly crooked, thanks to his lycanthropy. Sean's were straight and white as snow. "Do you like Quidditch?"

"I've never played." I started to stir the cauldron again, but Sean blocked me. "It's important to just let it sit, Amber. It'll ruin the draught if you touch it now."  
"But won't it burn?" I fussed.

"Spoken like someone who cooks." Sean shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Potions are magic. They're different."

"Right." I studied the little dents and carvings in the desks. "You play Quidditch. You're good."

"That's what I've been told." Sean said, without a hint of arrogance, completely opposite from James Potter. "You should try out."

"I've never played." I repeated.

"I think it would be fun. Just to get your feet wet. I can loan you my broom if you want."

I stared at him, stunned. Was this guy for real?

"I still can't believe you weren't a Hufflepuff." Sean went on. "You're too nice for a Ravenclaw girl."

Lost for words, I stirred the draught anyway. Sean gently pulled the cauldron out of reach. "I'm not trying to flirt with you, Amber. I'm just being nice. Guys are still like that."

I thought of Sirius and James, who I saw pick on Severus at least once a day. I felt guilty for even associating with them in the first place. For making an Unbreakable Vow with them. My stomach lurched. The Vow bound us for life.

Lily was right.

"I guess I'm just not used to it." I said quietly. I opened the Potions book and put my nose between the pages.

Sean was quiet for a moment. "Remember to let it sit for sixty minutes, alright? No touching."

"Got it."

Sean rose slowly, scanning the room. He began to walk away towards Lily and Cressida's table. "Oh, and make sure you study the footnotes in the chapters. Slughorn likes to use those for his tests."

I gave him a fleeting smile. "Thanks."

Sean nodded. "Don't mention it."

I watched him walk to my best friend and Cressida, watched him brace his arms against the end of the table and peer into their steaming cauldron. I wondered if he knew that Lily didn't need his help, that she could probably tutor _him _in Potions.

I sighed and scanned through the pages of chapter three. Halfway through, I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I raised my head, looking around, but I was alone in the back.

_Peeves_, I thought, and turned the page.

There was another light tap, and then a small note floated down out of the air and landed neatly between the pages in the spine of the textbook.

_Lionheart,_

_ Meet us next Friday night in the Shack. We have big news._

_ -The Marauders_

I crumpled up the note and fed it to the flames under the little black cauldron. "I'm a Marauder, too, you sexist bums." I mumbled.

There was a quiet rustling noise, and then James Potter was standing next to me. I whirled around in shock, looking for Professor Slughorn, waiting for him to call out James for his sudden appearance.

"I'll let you borrow this." James whispered. "Go get your book back from the Restricted Section."

Professor Slughorn was at his desk, unaware, bent over, rummaging through his drawers for whatever Potions professors kept inside.

"Are you crazy?!" I hissed. "Get out of here before he sees you!"

James winked and pointed to an intricately designed shawl lying in my book bag. "It's inside out, Harkstone. Good luck."

On amazingly light feet, he quickly exited the room. I stared at his retreating back, at a total loss.

He didn't leave completely unnoticed. Lily had spotted him, and her mouth dropped open. She watched him go, speechless.

She looked back over her shoulder, directly at me. I stared back, pursing my lips.

Lily narrowed her eyes and bent her head back over her assignment. She didn't look back again for the rest of the class.


	20. Potter's Plan

The last Saturday of the month was the day of tryouts. Each House had their turn for the field. Even though it was just tryouts and not an actual game, the seats in the arena were filled with students and a few interested teachers. Madame Pomfrey stood waiting on the side of the field, ready for her first inevitable patient.

Hufflepuff, who had won the Quidditch Cup three years running, was first. I sat next to Angelina in the risers, watching Sean Locke jump effortlessly onto his broom and ascend in the sky. Several girls cheered, Angelina included.

"He's the best player Hogwarts has seen in a decade." She gushed. "He's a total dreamboat."

"You think every cute guy is a dreamboat." I teased. I spotted Lily sitting fifty feet away next to Severus. We hadn't spoken in almost a week.

"I don't think Hufflepuff's got much to offer for talent this time around." Angelina said dubiously as a handful of Hufflepuffs competed for the only open position, a Keeper. Only one was able to keep half of the Quaffles away, a third year named Kensley Horn. There was a smattering of applause for Kensley. Most of the applause came from females, who had eyes only for Sean. He waved to me as he descended on the field below.

"I think he likes you." Angelina teased, elbowing me. I shrugged and studied the retreating figures of the Hufflepuff team.

"Likes who?" said Remus, who eased down on the other side of me. Peter was on his heels, a huge foam finger painted red and gold on his right hand.

"Just Sean Locke." Angelina giggled. "The hottest guy in school."

"I do _not_." I said hotly. "He's a nice boy. That's all."  
"Mhm." Angelina didn't look convinced. She winked.

Remus cleared his throat and wriggled in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "I think Slytherin's next."

"Oh, goody." I muttered.

Like Hufflepuff, Slytherin was only looking for one new player. This time, it was a Beater. Avery, Nott, Malfoy, and Mulciber rose into the air on their broomsticks, along with two other Slytherins I didn't know. Unlike the Hufflepuffs, who were fair and even overly-generous, the Slytherins were ruthless and wicked. The team was merciless against their tryouts, even though they were all from the same House. Finally, Madame Hooch rose onto her broom in the melee after a Bludger collided with a fifth-year girl and left her in tears on the ground. "Enough dirty work!" She snarled. "I want a clean screening or you'll be playing with just six members this year, Malfoy!"

Lucius Malfoy tossed his long mane of white-blonde hair and shrugged.

"What a cruel House." Angelina muttered as Malfoy jabbed a finger at a tall, formidable-looking girl, who could compete with Hagrid in height. "You!" Malfoy said in a harsh, clear voice. "Tara Bristol! You're in."

Tara narrowed her eyes in victory. The other Slytherins looked disappointed and mutinous, but too afraid of her to do anything.

"I'm surprised Regulus Black didn't try out." I said as the Gryffindor team filed out next. "He's pretty much sewn together with the team."

"Sirius's little brother?" Angelina echoed. "Is he good?"

"Sirius said he was." Remus added. "Very good. Maybe he'll try out next year. First years aren't allowed to try out."

"I wouldn't past him to try." I said dryly.

"Oh, look!" Peter squealed. "There's Sirius and James!"

Sure enough, the two boys were making their way out onto the field. Potter was dressed in his Quidditch robes, his last name boldly etched in white letters on the back. His shiny new broom was clutched in his right hand. He strode out onto the grass like a rooster among hens. Sirius kept up beside him, wearing ratty exercise clothes and a school broom.

"His parents aren't very happy with him." Remus said. "They don't really support his… extracurricular activities."

"Doesn't surprise me. Didn't he say his family was outraged when he was Sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin?"

"You heard the Howler." Remus reminded me. "The whole school knows."

"I can't wait to see Potter eat the grass." Angelina spat. "He's such a pighead! Look at his uniform!"

"I know." I agreed in disgust. "There's ten other possible students who can make the cut."

"He's really not as bad as you make him seem." Remus defended. "He's coddled, but he's not a bad person."

"He's spoiled rotten. Look at him flaunting himself like he's the Captain. I bet his parents have given him everything and never bothered to teach him discipline or learn the value of belongings and the feelings of others. God, it's disgusting."

"Spoken like someone who was spanked too much as a child." Angelina said carefully, raising a brow.

"They're looking for two new Chasers." Remus observed, steering the subject away from Potter.

"Why aren't _you _out there?" I asked, looking at both him and Peter pointedly.

"I don't like heights." Remus answered evasively, while Peter cowered. "I don't like those Bludgers! I'll just cheer from the sides."

"That explains the foam finger." I noted. "Nice touch. Very… festive."

Peter beamed. "Thanks. My mom made it."

I hid a smile but not a small laugh. Remus gave me a warning look.

"Oh, wow…" Angelina breathed. "Amber, look."

"What?" I said irritably. I didn't believe in special treatment for anyone. Not even gentle Peter.

She pointed at the sky. "You're not going to like this."

I followed the direction of her finger. My heart sank.

Potter was tearing up the air. He moved on his broom like it was a part of him. I knew in an instant that the other hopefuls didn't stand a chance. He caught every Quaffle with grace and ease and scored through the hoops without fail. He scooped so close to the ground in a last-ditch catch of the final Quaffle that even I gasped. Peter fainted.

"He got it!" Angelina whispered, sounding strangled. "I don't believe it! He's actually good!"

"Not good." I muttered. "He's a natural."

"He's brilliant." Remus said, looking proud.

"And he knows it." I added, unable to disguise my disgust for his blatant display of showing-off. The girls who had cheered for Sean now screamed for James.

"Ugh. Doesn't he realize how unattractive that is?" I hissed to Angelina. "Angelina?"

But when I turned to look at her, she was transfixed, staring at James like he was a shooting star. "He's amazing."

I slapped my hand to my forehead. "Not you too!"

"What?!" Angelina cried. "Amber, come on! You have to admit it… he's fantastic! He makes Locke look like he's falling!"

"Falling with style!" I snapped. "Anyone can play Quidditch! I bet even Peter could play, if he put his mind to it!"

Peter lay still and unconscious beside Remus, the foam finger still stuck on his hand.

"I'm sorry, Amber!" Angelina exclaimed. "You just have to accept that you're not going to be the best at everything!"

The temperature in the air dropped fifty degrees. The only sound was that of the girls cheering for the Gryffindor team as they wrapped up their tryouts.

"What did you say to me?" I said very quietly.

Angelina's brown eyes were huge. "I didn't… Amber, I just mean that you're very perfectionist. You're ambitious, too. You like to be the best at everything."

"So." I said flatly. "You think I'm a know it all too? You think I'm just a loser? I'm not just a farm girl who lost her favorite sister! I can do anything I put my mind to!"

Angelina's face went white. "Wait, _what_? You lost your sister?! When?"

But I wasn't listening anymore. Tears stung my eyes, but I stormed down the wooden seats and onto the field. "Amber!" Remus called, but I ignored him. James and Sirius were high-fiving each other, coming towards me, back to the edge of the field with the other Houses to watch the rest of the tryouts.

"Hey, Harkstone!" James said jubilantly, grinning so wide that all of his teeth were showing. "What do you think of the newest Gryffindor Chasers?"

I bumped into James – hard – and put my hands on his chest and shoved as hard as I could. He stumbled back, Sirius swearing. "What the hell, Harkstone? What's your problem?!"

"Go to hell, Harkstone!" James snarled.

"You first." I pushed him again. Sirius dove between us before we could fly at each other.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius yelled as I leapt back, shaking with the power of my anger.

"Sorry for getting a little angry at such a _pighead_!" I erupted as James fumbled for his wand.

"Enough!" Madame Hooch blew into her whistle. "Gryffindors! Clear the field for the Ravenclaws! Harkstone, Potter! Save it for the real thing!"

"You dirty little rat." James hurled as I hustled over to the Hufflepuffs, who looked completely shocked. "I want what I gave you back!"

"You can take it with my foot up your ass!" I threw over my shoulder. How could Lily think for one second that James and I were friends? He was an arrogant show-off who only wanted personal fame and glory. He was no friend. He was a bully, and someone I was only bound to because of that stupid Vow that I couldn't take back for my life.

"Amber?" Sean Locke said as I marched up to him. He looked positively alarmed. "You okay?"

"Give me your broom." I paused, then added, "please."

Sean's eyes told me he thought I'd completely lost it, but he slowly handed over his Black Peregrine, his gloved hands brushing mine. I swept over to the stunned Ravenclaws.

"She's crazy." Sirius blurted as he and James watched me from the Gryffindor's bench. "Just watch. She'll crash and burn."

My fingers gripped the broom handle so hard that my knuckles turned white.

"Right." The Ravenclaw Captain, Juliet Smith, said, clearing her throat. "We're looking for a new Chaser and a new Seeker. Give it your best." She swallowed loudly. "Amber Harkstone… why don't you start us off?"

"Glad to." I said shortly. I had only ridden a broom once, when I was at a birthday party for May Walters, a young witch who lived down the road closer to town. For her ninth birthday, we had all been treated to a mock-Quidditch game, complete with prizes. I had flown for five minutes before crashing into a nearby apple tree and knocking half of the fruits down. So far, that was the extent of my flying experience. And now this.

Shaking with a combination of fear and adrenaline, I mounted Sean's broom and felt it rise alarmingly fast into the air. The other Ravenclaws were airborne and already gliding around the sky like great blue birds. I was only twenty feet off the ground and I could feel my vision blur at the edges. _Too fast. Too fast! This is too soon. I can't do this._

My hands gripped the handle until they hurt. Then they numbed. The wind blasted my hair to the side, the flyaways stinging my eyes.

"Higher, Harkstone!" James yelled. "Chicken sh-"

"That's _enough, _Mr. Potter!" Madame Hooch hollered. "Keep it PG-13!"

"Crybaby!" James modified, referencing my old nickname, the one he and Sirius had christened me with the first time we had met.

Dizzy with the sensory overload, I eased up on the broom. It shot like a bullet towards the hoops. Too scared to scream, I cringed and zoomed through the tallest hoop. I tugged on the handle and eeked out a squeak of terror as the broom jerked hard to the side.

"Amber!" Lily cried. I saw her face swim far below. Way too far below. How high was I?

"Down here, Harkstone!" Juliet called. "Land if you need to!"

But I wasn't about to give in. James would never let me live it down. Forcing my sobs to stay inside, I slowly eased down and hovered with the rest of the team. Juliet nodded once and tossed the Quaffle to another hopeful, Anna Noyes. Anna passed it to me. I fumbled and barely managed to hang on to the broom and to the Quaffle.

"Have you ever been on a broom before, Harkstone?" Juliet asked curiously.

I swallowed hard against my dry throat and tried not to look down. "I'm a fast learner."

Juliet looked grim. "You'd better be." She nodded once to the other riders hovering in the air. "I'll be observing everyone while they demonstrate their abilities on their brooms. Give it your best shots. Go for whatever feels natural and right. I will decide on skills later."

Too quickly, the Ravenclaws scattered, and I found myself floundering to catch up. Below me, I could hear the echo of James and Sirius laughing.

I tried to spot the Snitch, the little golden winged ball that the Seeker needed to catch. But the wind was so fierce that it made my eyes stream and my nose run. There was no way I could ever sleuth out something that tiny and fast like this. Not when I already had to worry about my alignment and balance.

I glanced down, my palms slick with nervous sweat. Ice-cold terror washed over me in a wave of panic. If I fell now, I would die.

"Harkstone!" Noyes called. "Catch!"

She threw the Quaffle.

Sucking in my lip, I leaned forward on the broom, plowing forward. The broom shot like a loosed arrow toward the spinning Quaffle. I smacked it with my hand, as useful as a paw, and watched it fall towards the ground. It was quickly snatched up by another hopeful.

"Good effort!" Sean hollered from below.

I was too terrified to blush. Holding onto the broom and not falling to my death seemed to be more of a priority than catching a stupid ball.

"Amber, please!" Lily pleaded. "Just land!"

"Come on down, crybaby!" James taunted. "Mummy's waiting to give you a big hug!"

Tears of shame blinded me. If only that were true. My Mum was about as warm as a glacier. She wouldn't care if I tumbled off of my broom and snapped my neck. She only had enough room in her heart for Virginia. And she was gone.

_Oh, Virginia._ My heart ached deeply, sawing at the raw edges of grief that had been healing during my time at Hogwarts, but were now ripped open like stitches. I had avoided thinking of her for almost a month, and now, I couldn't get away from it. I was so close to joining her, so close to ending all of my embarrassment and pain and anger…

"Amber!" Angelina shrieked. "Watch out!"

I snapped my head to the left just in time to see a black blur careening towards me at an alarming speed. I pulled away sharply on the broom, my stomach dropping at the angle, just barely avoiding the Bludger.

"That was close!" I said nervously, in time to hear another scream, this time from Lily.

"_Amber! _ BEHIND YOU!"

No time to react. I felt the crack at the back of my head and the explosion of pain. It was so bad that my vision went black, spotted by tiny yellow lights. When I could see again, I was falling through the air, the ground racing up to meet me at an horrifying velocity. I couldn't move; I had been knocked senseless. I tensed, bracing myself for the inevitable impact.

"_Arresto momentum!"_

Six inches from the ground, I halt as if frozen. Close enough to see the little spine in each blade of grass. I was still, dangling above the earth like a ragdoll on strings. My head lolled back uselessly, but I caught sight of Remus standing on the side of the field, his wand held high, his face as white as a sheet. Vaguely, I wondered how he'd gotten down to the ground level so quickly. Had I really been in the air that long?

Arms caught me and then lowered me gently to the ground. Sean Locke's face swam above me. "Amber? Amber, say something. Talk. Say anything."

His face doubled, hazy. "Do you have a twin brother?" I mumbled, my tongue thick in my mouth.

"She's got a concussion for sure." Sean assessed. Several faces crowded around, Remus and Lily the most familiar. She was crying, her hands covering her mouth.

"Move aside!" Madame Pomfrey cried. She looked spooked. "Oh, dear. Locke, if you would please follow me to the infirmary immediately."

"Yes, ma'am." Sean said, rising to his feet. My limbs hung slack, my neck bent at a strange angle. It hurt. I tried to move my head, but the effort hurt so much that I managed to inch it to the side before giving up.

"Is she going to be okay?!" Lily's voice was high and thin. "It hit her so hard!"

"She'll be fine, once I get to take a better look." Madame Pomfrey assured her. "Remus, Lily, is it really necessary for you to come with us?"

"I want them here…" I said groggily before slipping back into the darkness where the pounding in my head was just a warm pulse of heat behind my eyes.

* * *

It was raining when my eyes opened again. I was in a stiff white cot inside of a room that could only be the infirmary. Beside me, Remus and Lily were reading books. I blinked several times to clear the blurriness in my vision, but it didn't soothe the dull ache in my head.

"She's awake." Lily breathed, looking immensely relieved. Remus carefully closed his book and set it on the nightstand table.

"What happened?" I mumbled, my voice sounding like I'd gargled gravel.

"You fell off your broom." Lily informed me. "After you got hit by a Bludger."

I gingerly touched the back of my head. A large, swollen lump confirmed her story. "How'd that happen?"

"Mulciber thought he would test your reflexes, so he sent a rogue Bludger at you from the ground." Remus reported. His green eyes flashed with fury. "Unfortunately for him, I know a good deal of hexes. His arse will be so sore for the next week that he won't be able to sit."

A smile pulled at my lips. "You stopped me from falling."  
"Madame Hooch said she was about to." Remus said. "But I beat her to it, I guess. My 'natural' reflexes." He smiled knowingly, referencing his werewolf tendencies. I smiled back weakly.

"I thought you were going to die." Lily blubbered, suddenly in tears. "Angelina told me what you said before you went down to the field. Are you really still that upset about your sister, Amber? Do you really want to die?"

Shame burned through me, overpowering the headache drumming in my ears. I closed my eyes, wishing I could have taken back the words. "I'm fine."

"You don't have to lie to us." Remus said quietly. "You don't have to be brave."

A tear slid through my closed eyes, and then another. I tried to bite my quivering lip to hold back a sob. "I guess… I don't know. For awhile, I'll be fine, and then… some days, it's just so hard. I can't believe she's actually gone. And it's my fault."

"It's not your fault." Lily soothed, crying herself. "It's _not_, Amber. She was sick. There was just nothing anyone could do."

The ugly truth, the reality of her death and my involvement, surged up my throat, threatening to burst forth like a demon from Hell. Instead, I grabbed a basin and vomited.

"Oh, Amber." Lily whispered. "I'm so sorry."

When it was over, I put the basin down. Remus took it from my shaking hands and set it down away from us. Then he handed me a tall glass of cold water.

"Thanks." I said hoarsely. "I keep throwing up around you."

"It happens." Remus assuaged. "Don't even worry about it."

"We'll _always _be here for you." Lily said fiercely. "Don't ever think otherwise."

"What about our fight?" I said, lowering my glass onto the nightstand.

Lily shook her head. "It was just a dumb little fight. Friends have them. Just because we have spats doesn't mean we throw out our whole bond."

"She's got a point." Remus added.

I leaned back against the pillows, wishing I could expel the headache as easily as I had been able to throw up. "I just miss her."

They didn't say anything. They each held one of my hands and didn't let go.

Madame Pomfrey tittered. "Have some more medicine, dear, and sleep."

"My head hurts too much." I mumbled, soothed by the warmth and security of Remus and Lily's hands over mine.

Madame Pomfrey gently pressed a goblet to my lips. I opened my mouth and drank obediently. It was purple and tasted like lavender.

"What is this?" I murmured sleepily as the pounding lessened and the darkness began to advance again.

"Sleeping Draught." Madame Pomfrey informed me.

"Did Slughorn make it?" I asked feebly, moments from unconsciousness.

"Actually, I did." Lily piped up, sounding thrilled. "And Madame Pomfrey said it was better than Slughorns. Just don't tell him."

"I won't..." I vowed, before slipping back into the soothing blackness.

Madame Pomfrey discharged me the next day after icing the back of my head for half an hour, bringing the swelling down. After a good dose of Chinese skullcap and plenty of water, she allowed me to leave, under instructions to be more careful and not push myself. The names of the newest Quidditch team members were posted outside of the Great Hall.

_1971-1972 ROSTER_

HUFFLEPUFF

Captain/Seeker: Sean Locke  
Chasers: Sophie Daniels, Ryan Levine, Robert Wachowski  
Beaters: Vlad Shavel, Jake Springhole  
Keeper**:** **Kensley Horn**

SLYTHERIN

Captain/Keeper: Lucius Malfoy  
Chasers: Edward Nott, Logan Avery, Camden Underwood

Beaters: **Tara Bristol**, William Mulciber

Seeker: John Vane

GRYFFINDOR

Captain/Beater: Myron Beamish  
Beater: Belarius Marchbanks  
Chasers: Fay Ogden, **Sirius Black, James Potter**

Keeper: Lance Woodcroft

Seeker: Chloe Bragge

RAVENCLAW

Captain/Chaser: Juliet Smith  
Beaters: Secundus Jewkes, Kirkley Switch

Chasers: Nemo Stevens, Anna Noyes, **Jericho Fleet**  
Keeper: Sebastian Smethley

Seeker: **Ceres Amorin**

I scanned the list a second time, just to make sure I had read it correctly. The dull pang of disappointment and failure twisted in my gut, but I knew it was completely fair. Juliet Smith had chosen wisely for her new team. Of course she wouldn't have picked me. I was a total bumblebee out there. Clumsy, slow, and dangerous.

Still. I had wanted to prove James Potter wrong. Prove Mum wrong. Prove myself wrong. And I had failed.

I walked into the Great Hall and immediately saw Potter and Sirius in the throes of celebration. They were eating far too much food and draining too many glasses of pumpkin juice. Remus and Peter flanked them. Remus shook his head disapproving while Peter mimicked his idols adoringly.

Cheeks burning with humiliation, I plucked a single scone from the table and turned to leave the Great Hall, hoping not be noticed.

I was out of luck, again.

"Harkstone!"

I shut my eyes tightly, striving for patience. "Yes, Potter?"  
"Remember what I said yesterday. I want it back."

I looked over my shoulder, making eye contact. His glasses were askew, and I realized that he wasn't drinking pumpkin juice. He reeked of the sweet tang of butterbeer.

"Come and get it." I said breezily, turning hard on my heel and making for a quick exit from the Hall. I heard him begin to tail me. Sirius was following; I could tell by the sound of two sets of footfalls.

"Harkstone, stop." James slurred, but I was quickening my pace. The moment I was outside in the vacant corridor, I grabbed the cloak from my bag and threw it over myself.

I stood very still at the pillar of one arch. Sirius and Potter were standing still, eyes scanning the room for any sign of me. Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Damn. She must have run."  
"No. She's got the cloak."

Sirius swore. "You _gave _it to her? You were supposed to loan it to her for a day! How come you didn't get it back already?"

"I was busy practicing for tryouts!" James retorted hotly. He stumbled on one foot. "I lost track of time. Great. Now she's spooked. We'll meet her Friday and talk then."

"What about the cloak?" Black persisted. "What if she 'loses' it?"

"She won't." Potter said firmly. "She's from a family of Hufflepuffs. They're good 'finders'. Plus, they have soft hearts. She won't keep it. Or steal it."

"I hope you're right." Sirius muttered as they retreated back into the Hall.

I waited until they had gone, before heading for the Potions classroom, deep into the dungeons. Only Mrs. Norris noticed me. Her large red eyes bored into mine, her bushy tail lifted high in curiosity. She emitted a loud meow. I was sure she knew no classes were held on Sundays.

_Shhh._ I willed. _Don't give me away. _

I waited, staring down at the cat. Mrs. Norris meowed again. Then, she pushed against my invisible leg, nuzzling her nose into the fabric. Her purr was rusty and quiet, as if she hadn't used the sound in a long time.

Thankful that I had baited her with turkey for the past weeks, clearly befriending her, I continued unseen to the Potions room. In the five days I had before the scheduled meeting with Potter and the boys, I would come up with an alternative to the cloak. I'd struggle, but I would brew my own form of invisibility. With or without help.

* * *

It was late on Friday when I arrived first at the designated meeting place, the same One-Eyed Witch statue. Remus followed soon after, looking pale. The next full moon was not far away.

Remus sighed. "I can smell you, Amber. You may as well take off Potter's cloak."

"I hate that you can do that." I muttered as I pulled the cloak off of my shoulders and stowed it in my bag. "Not fair."

Remus smiled wistfully. "One of the few perks of my worsening condition."

"Believe me," I said dryly, "I know what it's like to have an unpleasant experience once a month."

Remus shook his head, a moment before James, Sirius, and Peter morphed out of the shadows. I already had my wand out and ready, and braced myself for a fight when I saw the look on James' face.

"Harkstone." He said evenly. I had the words of a protective spell on my lips, my right arm shaking with anticipation, ready for anything.

But nothing could have prepared for what happened next.

James grinned widely and clapped. "Great work."

Stunned, I looked between the four boys frantically. "What?" I managed.

"You know, I think she could win a Jolie Award." Sirius commented, smiling as well. "She's a terrific actress. I completely bought it."

"I think everyone did." James agreed.

"What… what are you _talking _about?" I burst out. "Am I on crack, or is it my concussion?"

Remus sighed. "I didn't agree with the idea, Amber, but I was out-voted. You know Peter supports anything these two do, so…" He raised his hands, palms up. "There was nothing I could do."

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded, wand still raised defensively.

"Relax, Harkstone." James chortled, slapping Sirius on the back. "We had to… trick you, a bit."

"What do you mean?" I snapped. "Either I'm missing something, or you two have completely lost it."

"We've decided people have been noticing that the five of us are rather 'close'." Sirius said. "We didn't want anyone sniffing around, especially not Folsom. He was getting suspicious."

"Suspicious about _what? _That five second years are in some kind of secret organization?"  
"Exactly." James said. "And Remus has something to share. Don't you, Remus?"  
I turned and faced him, confused. "You've been neglecting to tell me something?"

Color crept into Remus' pale face. "It was need-to-know, Amber. I'm sorry. But you made several points about Folsom that just didn't add up. I had my dad check him out, and he found out some interesting information about Folsom."

"He's a vampire." I said immediately. "I knew it."

"I didn't say that." Remus held up a hand for silence. "There wasn't enough clearance to access all of his file. But he _is _in the Watch List binder."

"Wait, wait. Back up. _Files_?"

Remus looked uncomfortable. "I don't know all of it. But the Ministry's apparently got files on every witch or wizard in the country."

"Kind of creepy, isn't it?" James said gleefully. "Would be unfortunate if the wrong eyes saw the right folder."

I swallowed hard. "Does Dumbledore know?"

"Like I said, Folsom's file isn't completely accessible. Not to my Dad. But the only reason he is on the Watch List is because he was apparently quite close to You-Know-Who."

"The Dark Lord." I said solemnly, earning a terrified squeak from Peter. "Define 'close'."

"They were friends in Hogwarts." Remus said. "Thirty-five years ago."

My eyes widened. "But that would make them both in their fifties, at least."

"And Folsom doesn't look a day over twenty-five." Sirius finished. "See, I think you're right about him being a vampire. Or definitely using some magical surgery to keep his looks youthful."

"Or Slughorn might be slinging him the elixir of life on the side." James joked.

"This isn't funny." Remus said seriously. "Folsom could be dangerous. The problem is, Dumbledore doesn't know."

"How could he _not _know?" I argued. "It's Dumbledore. He's one of the most brilliant wizards to ever exist."

"That's true," Remus allowed, "but think about it. How many times have you seen him on the school grounds this year?"

I paused. "Actually… not much."  
"Exactly." Remus' eyes darkened, so animal-like this close to the full moon. "From what I'm overhearing from my Dad… it sounds like the Dark Lord is active. He's gathering followers. Maybe trying to overthrow the Ministry."

"You mean, like, start a war?" I ventured, remembering Vincent Backe, the editor who had disappeared not long after publishing his outrageous opinions on the Dark Lord. "That's a bit far."

Remus shrugged. "It explains a lot, if you ask me. I've already told the guys some of this, but as James said…"

"We need your brains." James interrupted. "And you're a Ravenclaw."

"Plus the top of my class." I retorted hotly.

"Lily's actually the top." Sirius reminded me. "Folsom docks your grades."

I rolled my eyes. "So, what exactly do you need my brains for?"

"I have a plan." James announced. "I've told you some of it, boys, but now that the key ingredient is here, I can tell you all of it."

"Oh, goody." I muttered.

James withdrew a piece of parchment from his pocket and spread it open on the ground before us. He tapped the blank piece of paper and muttered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Faint black lines appeared on the paper. It covered such a small section of the map that I laughed.

James rounded on me. "What's so funny, Quidditch All-Star?"

The laughter died. "I almost _died_, thanks."

"Guys…" Remus warned.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" I said waspishly. "Your doodles? I'd rather not."

"It's not doodling." James defended. "It's a map."

"A map?" I picked it up carefully. Sirius craned his neck to look at it better.

"Yeah. Sirius and I came up with the idea a year ago, but we weren't really serious about it until this year. After the information Remus told us."

I glared at Remus. "Thanks for keeping me in the loop."

Remus shrugged.

"Anyway," James continued, "here's my plan: We finish this map. I want to map out the entire school. The grounds, the castle. I want to flesh out the tunnels, rooms, the whole shebang."

"Isn't that a little risky?" I pointed out. "Anyone can read this."

James winked. "Not everyone, our little brainy female."

I groaned.

Sirius drew his wand and tapped the map. "Mischief managed."

The beginnings of the map disappeared.

"Only the five of us can ever know about this map." James said, suddenly serious. "It's part of the Vow."  
"Oh, not that again." I rolled my eyes. "I have to carry this to my grave?"

"Yup." Sirius said cheerfully. "Aren't you glad you're friends with us?"

I stowed my wand into my pocket, handing the map to Remus. "Let's get this straight: I'm _not _friends with you. Not you, Sirius. Not you, Peter." At the hurt look on his face, I added, "because I don't know you well."

I fixed James with the frostiest look I could manage, something I had learned from my mother. "And especially not with you."

James looked indifferent, but the slight narrowing of his eyes told me he wasn't giving away how he really felt. "That's completely mutual, Harkstone. We aren't friends."

"We're allies." I clarified.

"What about Remus?" Sirius interjected. "How do you feel about him?"

Remus was silent, but I could feel him staring intensely at me. My hands were suddenly clammy. I wiped them casually on my pants, but my stomach felt funny and like it was a moving bag of worms. "He's my friend."

"_Just_ a friend?" Sirius hedged, and laughed as I swung at him.

"It's not very ladylike to hit." James chided as I chased Sirius, wand out.

"Someone's got to teach him to be polite!" I shouted as I cast a color-changing hex at his hair, missing by inches.

"Amber, stop." Remus said, sounding like an exasperated babysitter. "Remember what Madame Pomfrey said. No roughness. You need to rest and take it easy until your head heals."

Grudgingly, I stopped and stowed my wand. Sirius giggled like a hyena and plodded back to James.

"So, after we finish the map, we need to invade the Ministry of Magic and get that file on Folsom. We'll use the Invisibility Cloak and Amber's brains to do it."

My jaw dropped open. "Are you _crazy_, Potter?! That will never work! AND we'll get expelled!"

"And probably go visit my Uncle Boris in Azkaban." Sirius said drolly. "Yeah, we know the risks. And I've told James, it's not going to work. Even with the Portable Library over here."

I chucked a pebble at Sirius, who yelped in pain.

"Alright, so what's your idea, then?" James said. "We need to get that file."

"I've thought about it." Remus said. "Maybe we can get the file out of the Ministry. Somewhere easier to access it. I'll see if I can get my Dad to bring it home."

"You can hex him." I suggested.

"The Imperious Curse should do the trick." Sirius put in. "They'll do anything you want."

I could feel my eyes bugging out of my head. "What is _wrong _with you, Sirius?! You can't just use an Unforgivable Curse! Especially not on your parent!"

"Who happens to work in the Ministry." Remus added.

"You two are no fun." Sirius said glumly.

"What kind of family are you from, exactly?" I asked incredulously. "You know the Unbreakable Vow and the Imperious Curse!"

Sirius shrugged and itched his arm. "The Blacks have always been sympathizers to the darker arts. That's why they appreciate The Dark Lord so much." His playful demeanor dimmed. "I've seen spells that aren't even in the Restricted Section. My house isn't exactly the Scottish dream like yours, James."

"Mine isn't either." I said softly, thinking of my family, torn apart by grief and delicately stitched back together by the attempt of moving on.

Sirius shrugged. "All I'm saying is that if we need to, we can use these spells. I know them."

"Let's try to avoid getting sentenced to Azkaban." Remus said hastily. "So, the plan?"

"Finish the map." James said. "Try to get your old man to bring the file home. Bring it to the Shrieking Shack. Use the Invisibility Cloak to spy on Folsom."

"Even if he does get fired, what then?" I mused. "What if a war really is coming?"

"That'll never happen." James said derisively. "Too many checks and balances in our government."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Remus said dryly. "Any society can be taken apart, if the enemy knows how to do it."

James didn't look too swayed. "So, we're good for now. Sorry we had to trick you, Amber, but this way, less people know. It's not typical for a Ravenclaw girl to hang with four Gryffindor boys. We had dispel the suspicion."

"Fair enough." I allowed. "But next time, keep me in the know, alright?" I gave Remus a pointed look. He didn't look away, but a muscle jerked in his cheek.

"Anything else?" Sirius piped. "Or can we go? I want to sneak into the kitchen again and get some more butterbeer."

I rolled my eyes. "Before we all go, let me give you four these." I dispensed four small vials full of clear liquid.

"What are these, Muggle tears?" Sirius said.

"It's a basic Invisibility Potion. It's for emergencies only. And we can probably save them for James' 'operation'."

"Brilliant, Harkstone." James praised. "I always knew you'd be a good addition to our group."

"I believe that was _my _idea." Remus corrected.

"Right. Well, the night is young. I'm craving jam tarts and butterbeer." He pulled out his wand and approached me. "My cloak, please."

I handed it over without protesting. "I still think you're crazy."

James winked. "I believe you're the one who told me that we're more capable than we think we are."

"It doesn't apply to everyone."

"Harsh." Sirius laughed. "McGonagall Junior."

"Come on." Remus said. "There's nothing quite like raiding the kitchen the night before the full moon."

"I'll take your word for it." I said, following after the boys. I didn't even catch a whiff of heavy perfume until we reached the kitchen. I dropped a full basket of garlic in front of the entrance – a portrait of a bowl of fruit – and kept walking.

If Folsom wanted to spy, fine. But I wasn't going to make it easy for him.

Potter's Plan would work. And in the end, Folsom was going to lose this war he had declared on me.


	21. The Illegal Transfiguration

As it turned out, Professor Folsom was indeed in his fifties. During the last week of October, James and Sirius devised a plan to distract the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and invade his office. I was sitting in class, dreading the next few hours during my double DADA block, wondering where the two Marauders were. The ancient clock, as large the wheel on a tractor trailer, hung above the entrance to the class, so that only Professor Folsom could keep track of the time. If any students looked back to check the hour, they would automatically be fined five points from their House for "clock watching" rather than learning.

It didn't help Professor Folsom's waning popularity, especially since whenever a Slytherin turned to see what time it was, they lost no points whatsoever.

I knew it had been at least ten or fifteen minutes since the beginning of class. Professor Folsom was standing perfectly still at the front of the classroom, in front of the chalkboard so that every student would not be able to see a portion of the notes he had written in his intricate calligraphy. "No talking." Professor Folsom corrected softly in his falsely sweet voice every few minutes when a student would ask him to move so that they could finish the notes.

Thankfully, I had read about today's material several times: werewolves and their relation to humans and other animals. I copied most of my notes from memory, hardly looking up.

I didn't hear Folsom move, but my nose began to burn as if I needed to sneeze. An unpleasantly strong cloud of perfume – which smelled like rotting lilacs – engulfed me. I stopped breathing, waiting until the stench passed.

It didn't.

"Writing a novel, are we, Miss Amber?"

My right hand, which was busily scrawling notes about werewolves onto my roll of parchment, stilled. I turned slightly and caught sight of Professor Folsom, towering above me, in my peripheral vision. I made it a point nowadays not to look directly into his eyes. It seemed to enable him to access my mind.

"Well?" He said quietly. "Mind sharing what you have so generously written about your story?"

My cheeks burned in spite of myself. "It's not a story. They're my notes."

"Really." Professor Folsom said airily. He picked up my roll of parchment in his long, dead-white hands. I watched him adjust his half-moon spectacles and scan through my writing. His eyebrows lifted higher with each passing second.

"Good, isn't it?" I challenged quietly.

"Five points from Ravenclaw." Professor Folsom announced immediately. Avery, Mulciber, and Snape snickered.

"For what?" I countered. "For being right? For actually doing the assignment above and beyond the expectations?"

"For being excessive." Folsom drawled, as if talking to a dumb child. "And another five, for your cheek."

Seething, I narrowed my eyes and stared straight ahead at the blackboard, which was now completely visible. I could hear students furiously scribbling down what was written with their quills before Folsom returned to his position.

"I would be very, very careful, Miss Amber." Folsom went on slowly. "And remember who the student and teacher are in this class."

I was silent.

"Well?" Folsom pressed. "How do you respond respectfully to me?"

I refused to move my head. I wanted more than anything to hex him. My right hand twitched, longing to snatch my ash wand and cast a jinx so nasty that he would be in the infirmary for weeks.

_I could make his bones turn to glass. I could dye his hair pink. I could push him in front of the Whomping Willow…_

Professor Folsom looked smug. "I suppose if you don't respect me, I'll have to deduct another fi-"

"SIR! PROFESSOR FOLSOM!"

The entire class snapped their heads up, turning to the direction of the noise. Professor Folsom's eyes bulged as James and Sirius burst into the classroom, panting hard, wands out.

"What is the meaning of this?" Folsom half-snarled, clearly trying to stay calm. "You two are late for my class, and-"

"We had to come get you!" Sirius panted. He jerked his thumb out towards the door. "Sir, it's gotten loose, it's in the castle!"

Now the students' eyes bulged. Snape looked intrigued.

"What's loose?" Folsom demanded.

"One of Hagrid's pets!" James yelled. "It's coming after us!"

Folsom looked supremely disapproving. "Lying is not tolerated in this class. Fifty points will be taken from Gryff-"

There was a wall-shaking roar that rattled the windows and sent several pictures of dark witches and wizards crashing to the floor. Several girls screamed in fright.

Now Folsom looked absolutely floored. He had drawn his wand and was heading towards the door. He paused and listened. "What…"

"It's horrible!" Sirius wailed. "It's a… a…"

"DRAGON!" James screeched as a jet of fire blasted in front of the door. Several students screamed in terror and dove under their desks. Folsom bolted out of the classroom in the direction of the dragon.

I gaped at the boys. How on earth had they gotten chased by a _dragon _in Hogwarts?!

James and Sirius's gaze alighted on me. They rushed over, excitement glittering in their eyes. They had scorch marks on their cheeks and their robes were smoldering. Parts of their eyebrows were singed off.

"What the hell is going on?!" I bellowed, staring at them in utter disbelief. "A _dragon_?"

"Well, not actually a real dragon." Sirius admitted sheepishly, grinning.

"We transfigured a candle into a juvenile Hungarian Horntail." James whispered to me triumphantly. "He won't know the difference!"

I could only stare at them, completely lost for words.

"Come on, quickly!" Sirius said, grabbing my wrist, the same wrist he had grabbed last spring when he had made the Unbreakable Vow with me, "we need to hurry before he comes back!"

"Wait… what?" I said, trying to keep up, but stunned by the fact that not only had these two successfully turned a simple candle into a terrifying young dragon, but they also were in the process of kidnapping me.

"No time for questions!" James shouted as we tore to the front of the classroom and up the small stone spiral stairs. I felt the blood drain from my face as James pointed his wand at the door and said, "_Alohamora!"_.

The oak door swung open.

"Come on, come on!" Sirius urged, dragging me inside. I followed helplessly.

"What are you _doing_?" I hissed finally as James and Sirius dashed to Folsom's large desk, flipping through papers and pushing aside scrolls.

"Keep watch!" Sirius said excitedly. "If the dragon is silent, then we need to get out of here, _fast_."

"Look!" James said breathlessly. "That git forget to shut all the shelves!"

"You guys!" I whispered fiercely. "Stop! What if he comes back before we can get out?"

"Just be quiet and keep watch!" James instructed. "Come on, keep looking, Sirius!"

I glanced nervously out the office door. Several students, who had taken refuge under their desks, were staring at me like I was the dragon.

I took a deep breath to steady my racing heart. I could still hear the transfigured candle/dragon crashing in the halls and the shouts of several adult voices. I could smell the acrid tang of smoke and fire.

"You are _so _getting expelled for this!" I hissed.

"Not if they don't find out it was us." James said in a sing-song voice, still searching in the drawers.

"And they won't." Sirius chortled back.

For the first time, I noticed the decorations in Folsom's office. A huge map of Great Britain lay stretched across an entire wall. A huge, hideous bat was etched into the corner. An equally horrifying wolf crouched in the opposite corner. The map had at least fifty small red dots in various, random places. Several portraits of older, wealthy looking people hung on the other walls. The chandelier cast a dim, almost sickly glow to the room. The blood-red, round rug beneath my feet was ornate and intricate, probably imported from India or the Far East.

Disturbingly, chains hung on either side of the door. Suddenly, one of them began to swing violently. The others remained completely still.

"Harkstone, get over here!" Sirius said suddenly. "Quick!"

Snapping to attention, I dashed to their side. Littered on Folsom's desk were student papers, a few novels, and a large glass goblet that held a ruby-red liquid inside.

I stared, transfixed. "What do you think that is?"

"No time!" James said tightly. "Look." He pointed to the bottom shelf, which Folsom hadn't sealed. Lying there was a folder that read _M.C. FOLSOM, IMPORTANT FINANCIAL INFORMATION._

"Who leaves that kind of junk just there?" Sirius snorted. He glanced at me. "Can you check it for hexes?"

I worried my lip. "I might not have time."

The ground shook with another roar from the dragon.

"Well, just do it!" James ordered. "Before he comes back!"

Angry at being told what to do, angry that I could get into even more trouble with Folsom than before, I obliged. I muttered several spells, hovering my wand over the folder. Nothing happened.

"Just grab it." Sirius said. "Hurry."

James snatched the folder, stuffing it into his robes. "Come on, let's get out of here!"

But my attention was diverted to what was lying in the bottom desk drawer. Beneath the folder was a newspaper article, folded over to a specific page. The obituary section. Dated 9 April 1972.

My stomach dropped. My hand gripped my wand so tightly that I was worried it would snap. But it was hard, just as Ollivander said when he had sold it to me last fall, and it didn't yield to my emotions.

"Harkstone, come on!" James urged. "We need to go."

But I couldn't stop staring or reading. Because the picture on the obituary page was that of my sister.

_Virginia Grace Harkstone, second and middle daughter of Walter and Lena Harkstone, passed away at her home today, after a lifelong struggle with an unknown illness. She is survived by her younger sister Naomi Harkstone and her older sister, Amber Harkstone…_

The article went on, but I couldn't see it. My vision was blurred with tears.

"Amber?" Sirius said, using my first name for the first time ever. "You alright?"

"No." I said very quietly, wondering if someone could actually explode from rage. "No. I'm not okay."

James craned his neck. "Virginia Harkstone?" He went quiet, reading. Then his eyes widened. "Oh, my God…"

"What?" Sirius snapped up the paper, reading. "No way…"

"I'm going to kill him." The creep was spying on me. He was researching my background, for whatever reason. Wand drawn, I marched out the door.

"No!" James and Sirius both grabbed an arm; I struggled hard against them. "Harkstone, you can't!" James said forcefully. "Come on! Think about it! If you attack him now, he wins! You'll get expelled!"

"Just wait." Sirius said ominously. "We'll get him back. Sick jerk."

My chest heaved. The torrent of rage and raw grief was dizzying. I fell into my seat, staring at the floor and seeing absolutely nothing.

He knew. Folsom was stalking me. Why else would have the story reporting my younger sister's death in his desk?

A new thought, even worse than the others before, slid inside of my mind like a black cloud. What if he knew? What if Folsom _knew _that it was my fault that she had died? Because of that Tree…

I shut my eyes tightly, trying not to be sick.

"Come on," James said, forcing me to my feet. "We need to move. I can't hear our little fiery friend anymore."

Sure enough, the roaring and shaking had ceased. Now the only sound was the rising babble of students, confused and frightened. Sirius hauled me out of the room. The boys flanked either side of me, moments before Folsom burst into the room, his black cape flowing behind him.

"Professor?" A student piped up meekly. "Is everything alright?"

It was Destiny Shay, a second year Hufflepuff.

"Silence!" Folsom snarled, his back turned. Destiny's eyes widened, tears filling them. Folsom didn't notice or care.

"Students are to return to their Houses immediately." Folsom went on, sounding furiously. I noticed that his long hair, which was usually tied back immaculately in his ponytail, was in disarray. His lipstick was smudged. Folsom was one of those people who I found extremely unattractive, especially when they lost control.

"Sir?" Another student hedged.

"GET OUT!" Folsom ordered, his voice so loud that I jumped. I was staring at him, shaking with the effort of restraining myself. I wanted to rake my fingers down his face, make him scream in pain for having the gall to check up on me…

"Let's go." Sirius said quickly. He and James flanked me, pushing me along out of the door with the other students. I noticed Folsom clutched a broken candle in one hand, his wand in the other.

Outside, the hall was an absolute war zone. Scorch marks blackened the walls and floor; some tapestries that had hung were now nothing more than singed rods holding nothing. The burn of smoky air hurt my throat, but that also could have been the tears gathering in my eyes.

_He's studying me like some creature… he's reading up on my family like we're just bits of information in a textbook…_

"What a mess." James said gleefully, ushering me to a tiny alcove behind a tapestry that had survived the fire. Thankfully, no other students had given us a second glance. They were all too focused on following Folsom's orders to return to their common rooms.

When the pitter-patter had stopped, James pulled out the file and a piece of parchment. He muttered an incantation and black spots and lines appeared on the second piece of paper. He pulled out a quill and added the alcove where we stood to the map.

"Why did you steal his folder?" I asked as Sirius pulled it free from James and flipped it open.

"The bigger question is… why does this open so easily?" Sirius muttered. He narrowed his eyes as James finished adding the new detail to the map. "Oh, look! Full name: Mackenzie Clarence Folsom. Born, 5 February 1926. D-"

The file exploded into flames.

I stared at the ashes slowly falling to the floor, like gray snow. Sirius' mouth was open. James swore.

"Of _course _it would self-destruct!" James moaned. "Come on, Sirius! Why didn't you think more carefully?"

"Don't come yelling at me!" Sirius retorted. "I didn't know! Harkstone was supposed to check it first!"

"I did!" I said slowly. "I didn't…"

"Didn't what?" James demanded. "Do your job? Help us find out more about Folsom? We might not have even needed to get his official file from the Ministry! We could have learned all of his personal and private information from this file! But it's gone now, thanks to you two idiots!"

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but before he could, I burst into tears.

James looked alarmed. "Harkstone… I… just calm down… er, I didn't mean it…"

"Bloody hell." Sirius murmured. "Crybaby's back."

"He had my sister's obituary in there!" I sobbed, trying to suppress my emotions, but failing. Badly.

The boys looked at each other again, aghast. "Your sister died?" James said slowly.

"Yes!" I sobbed, hands covering my face, wanting to run from this room and kill Folsom, but knowing it was futile. He was a Professor of Dark Arts; he could end my fight with a single well-cast spell. "But… but it's not something we need to talk about. It's not…"

"Not a big deal?" Sirius said doubtfully. "Was it murder?"

_The Murder Tree… _

"No. She was sick." I fought hard to control my emotions, which had completely spiraled out of proportion. "So… so Folsom _was _in the same year as The Dark Lord."

"That's what it looks like." James said grimly. He glanced at me, adjusting his glasses. "Harkstone… do you want to talk about your sis-"  
"I said NO!" I exploded. Red sparks erupted from the tip of my wand, making the floor shudder and dust fall from the cracks of stone in the ceiling above. Sirius and James jumped, faces paling.

"Bloody hell." James muttered. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"I said _enough_." I spat, holding my wand level to his face. "Don't make me jinx you, Potter. I'm pretty good with charms, and I think a good Silencing Charm would suit you well."

Sirius had reached for his own wand, but James waved him off, never losing eye contact with me.

"Fair enough, Harkstone." He said easily. "No need for that."

Slowly, I lowered my wand. It was still hot in my hands, as if it was ready to burst into flame.

"So, anyway," James said, dusting the ashes of the now-non-existant file off of his hands, "this means that we need to do more digging. And we need to keep going after whatever Folsom is hiding."

"How do we know he's even hiding anything in the first place?" Sirius argued. "What if he's just a weird bloke who wears lipstick and stalks some of his students?"

"Something's not right about him." I said quietly. "He's doing something he doesn't want anyone else to know about. Think about it. Why else would he be gathering information on me?"

"To use it against you?" Sirius suggested.

"Exactly." I sniffled, passing a shaky hand through my hair. "He thinks I'm a threat, for whatever reason."  
"Or a brat who he wants to put in her place." James said, putting his hands up at the withering look I gave him. "I'm not trying to say that to hurt you, Harkstone. I'm just saying that you might be overthinking this a bit. If he'd go after anyone, wouldn't it be Dumbledore?"

At that, I snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. No one's stronger than Dumbledore. Even the Dark Lord."

"He's up to something, can we all agree on that?" Sirius put in. "And we definitely need that file on him. The sealed one at the Ministry."

"And I need to learn how to open it properly." I added. "I have a feeling that exploding papers aren't the worst things that can happen when people snoop."

An uncomfortable silence stretched between the three of us. Distantly, I could hear students moving from class to class, their elephantine steps echoing around the stone corridors.

"Remind me again why you just transfigured a candle into a dragon." I said, itching to be rid of these boys and their contagious bad luck.

"We needed that file. And it proved that you were right. He _is _old. And he's hiding something. Something that we need to investigate." James said.

"Why can't we just tell Dumbledore our suspicions?" I countered, weary. I just wanted to lose myself in my studies and forget that I had ever joined this group. That on top of that, I had also made an Unbreakable Vow with them.

"Because he wouldn't have hired Folsom in the first place if he thought he was shady." James responded.

"Or," Sirius said thoughtfully, "he doesn't trust Folsom and hired him to keep a close eye on him."

"Do you honestly think Dumbledore would hire a friend of the Dark Lord to teach the Defense Against the Dark Arts?" I said incredulously. "Honestly, Sirius."

"It's not that far-fetched." Sirius defended. "We should practice our skills tonight, anyway. Let's meet in the Shrieking Shack. Amber, you can teach us some more charms. Like that Silencing One. Or Protego."

I tossed my hair back, irritated. "It's _Harkstone_. And that's fine. But if you two idiots pull one more harebrained trick like you just did with Folsom again without consulting me or the rest of the Marauders… then I'll tell McGonagall about the candle."

"You wouldn't." James said immediately. "You made a Vow with us. You can't break your word to keep our secrets."

"It's not a secret if you didn't clear it with me or Remus or Peter beforehand." I reminded him. "It's only valid with Sirius."

Both boys looked mutinous.

"So, meet us later at eleven at the Shack." Sirius continued, while James furiously rolled his wand between his fingers. "We have Quidditch practice tonight, so we'd better go. It starts soon."

"We'll say 'hi' to Locke if we see him." Sirius winked as I opened my mouth to protest. Both boys darted away as I drew my wand to hex them. "Yeah, you'd better run." I muttered, watching the tails of their robes disappear around the corner.

I stowed my wand and kicked at the scorched remains of Folsom's file. How long until he noticed it was missing? Was there any way for him to know that we were the ones who had nicked it and been the ones to trigger its destruction?

I stowed my wand in my robes and exited the hiding place. I walked towards the staircase, still blackened and bearing marks of the transfigured dragon. I had taken a single step down before I realized that I had left my book bag in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. I had too many assignments to leave it there overnight. I had to retrieve it.

As I wandered back into the empty classroom, another thought formed in my mind: how on Earth had Sirius and James been able to complete such an advanced transfiguration? Surely, only seventh-years were capable of that level of skill?

But they had also been able to perform and complete an Unbreakable Vow. And now James wanted to map out the entire school, including every corridor and hidden tunnel. And he was doing it. For all of their mischief and headaches that James and Sirius caused, Remus was right. They _were _smart. Too smart. What other kinds of magic were they capable of? If they could master Transfiguration at twelve years old, then they could certainly manage a heist into the Ministry of Magic or Sirius's house within a year. Maybe not even that long.

I had arrived at my vacant seat. I bent down and slipped my textbook inside of my book bag and draped it over my shoulder. I turned to leave and found my feet rooted to the spot.

Professor Folsom swept in front of me. He had cleaned up his face, but his blue eyes were blazing. The candle light reflected white off the lenses of his glasses, so much more sinister than James'. I instinctively tried to take a step back, but I couldn't move.

_We have direct eye contact. I can't get away! _Panic flared inside. I threw up a mental wall, bracing myself for an inquisition. But nothing came.

Professor Folsom continued to stare at me. His thin eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Quite an interesting day of class, don't you think, Miss Amber?"

"My name is Miss Harkstone, if you don't mind." I said, trying to sound polite.

Folsom let out a soft exhale that passed as a laugh. "I do mind, actually. As your teacher and superior, I will call you whatever I want. I could even call you Miss Hag, if I wanted."

Anger bubbled, hot like fire. I narrowed my eyes. "Do I have permission to leave, sir?"

"Trying to sound polite. You're not fooling me, Miss Amber. I know you can't stand me. Just as I can't stand you. It's too bad you and your little gang of boys don't wander off into the Forbidden Forest. I know plenty of creatures that would love to meet you and… well, let's say that the mermaids had the right idea."

I went cold inside, as if I had been thrown into icy water. Instantly, I flashed back to that day over a year ago when Remus had saved my life. The jealous mermaids had tried to drown me. I thought that only a few people had known that. Remus, myself, Lily, McGonagall, Pomfrey and Flitwick. Maybe he had heard it from them.

But Folsom was also clearly investigating my background. How else had my sister's obituary ended up in his desk drawer?

"Is that a threat?" I said quietly.

Folsom raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why, Miss Amber, are you insinuating that I would threaten a student?"

I suppressed a sarcastic laugh. "Of course not, Mr. Mackenize."

Folsom's eyes widened so that I could see the circles of his irises. I felt a flare of triumph, which quickly turned to fear when he leaned down close to my face. So close that I could smell his overpowering, cloying perfume. So close that I could see the tiny pores on his face. So close that I could see his neck, his jugular, where his pulse should have been.

There was none.

"I would be very, very careful with what you look for, Miss Amber." Folsom said quietly, his voice dripping with fake sweetness. His eyes were chips of ice. "Otherwise, your sister won't be the only Harkstone in the obituary section."

My insides twisted. I couldn't tell if I was shaking due to cold or terror. But by the look in Folsom's eyes, I knew I was pushing his limits, and that I needed to back off. Now.

"Are we clear, Miss Harkstone?" Folsom went on softly, never blinking.

"Crystal." I replied, trying to sound calmer than I felt.

He stepped back and straightened. "Then you may leave. And just remember… people who go digging for answers get dirty."

_Move, Amber. Move. Get out of here. _I willed my feet to move, but they wouldn't budge.

"What's that?" I said suddenly, pointing to the window. "Is that a bat?"

Folsom turned his head a fraction of a degree, but his eyes broke contact as he scanned the spot for a bat, and I seized my chance. I ran out of the room and straight for Ravenclaw Tower. I didn't dare look back.


	22. Polyjuice Potion

Fall passed quickly into early winter at Hogwarts. The huge purple-green peaks of the North West Highlands of Scotland were snow-capped by November and completely whitened by the first day of December. For the first time in more than a decade, Gryffindor beat two Houses – Slytherin and Hufflepuff respectively – consecutively, and with a staggering score of 150-30 and 210-15, respectively. This was due, according to the school papers, the newest additions to the Gryffindor Quidditch team: James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Their teamwork is absolutely incredible." Peter gushed the day before Christmas holiday. "I mean, I just can't believe it. Sirius guards James like a dog, and makes sure that he's covered constantly. And James is so talented… he just is so incredible!"

"Oh, get over yourself, Peter." I said in disgust, buttering a biscuit with strawberry jam. I felt a little guilty when the glow vanished from his face and he looked as if I'd slapped him.

"Come off it, Harkstone." Sirius laughed. "Just because _we _made the Quidditch teams and you didn't doesn't mean that you get to lash out at Peter."

"I'm _not _lashing out." I said hotly, worrying the opal pendant on my neck. Lily clucked her tongue, flanking my other side, as far as from Sirius and James as she could get while still in my vicinity.

"You are." Lily said lightly. "Even McGonagall said that Flitwick should have a training program for hopefuls, so that they have a chance to practice before they try out. She said you could be a good Chaser."

James spat out his pumpkin juice. "_Harkstone? _A good _Chaser_?" He and Sirius howled with laughter.

Lily looked supremely irritated. "McGonagall said that Potter and Black were practicing every morning and night in September before tryouts. So I guess without it, they would've crashed and burned."

That shut them up.

"I totally bombed it." I mumbled, tearing a hunk of biscuit off and chewing quickly. "They'll never let me try out again."

"Oh, don't be so negative." Lily chastised. "You just need practice. Did you _like _being in the air?"

I shrugged. "I guess so."  
Lily raised her brows. "You guess?"

I sighed. "I did."

"Just keep her away from all others." James commented.

"Better yet, just stay out of the air while Harkstone's up there." Sirius added.

Lily stood up and tossed her long red hair behind her shoulder. "Come on, Amber. I'm tired of hearing these two mosquitoes buzzing in my ear."

"Ouch." Remus said, sipping tea, nose-deep in a book.

"I agree completely, Lily." I said coldly, throwing the chortling boys my darkest gaze.

"Hey, hey!" James called. "Before you run off, don't forget about our meeting later. Gryffindor Common Room."

"You _know _she's not allowed in there." Lily reminded them. "Even if she _was _a Hatstall."

"She's a future Head Girl, I swear." Sirius muttered.

"Were we talking to you, Tomato?" James asked, frowning dramatically.

"No, I don't think we were." Sirius said loftily, yawning.

Lily's mouth dropped open. "You two are _disgusting_, rude pigs, and I swear, once I get-"

"Shush, McGonagall's staring." Remus chimed in.

Sure enough, the Head of their House was glaring in our direction, her eyes narrowed to small slits.

"Right." James said. "Well, still. Meet us there. Lily, let her borrow some of your school robes."

"I will _not _endorse this!" Lily said hotly.

But the truth was, I was curious. And I had never seen the inside of the Gryffindor Common Room. After all, wasn't Ravenclaw all about knowledge?

"Please, Lily?" I said, softening my eyes. "For me? For Christmas?"

Lily looked shocked. "You _want _to break the rules?"

"Just once. Please? I might never get this chance again."

Lily hesitated. Then she let out a gusty sigh, and I knew I'd won. "Fine. But I can't believe you want to do this." She shot a nasty look at the boys, particularly James and Sirius. "I told you they'd be a bad influence."

They made pouty faces at her. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Let's go." Lily said. "I'll give you my second set of clothes to borrow. But I need them back by tomorrow morning so I can pack. I need to catch the Hogwarts Express home."

_Home_. My heart constricted painfully in my chest. I hadn't been 'home' for almost four months, and I saw no reason to return. Not only was the favorite member of our family missing permanently, but I wasn't sure how stable Mum was. Or how pleased Dad would be to see me. And Naomi… was she even home? Or was she with Grandma and Grandpa, as she usually was these days?

I remembered the last time I had been home with my parents, alone, for weeks on end. Images flashed in my mind. Dad's absence as he worked even harder and longer hours at the Ministry. Mum's complete convalescence in her bedroom. Virginia's void that she had left behind. The silence of the old house without Naomi's chatter and running feet. Mum tearing out the flowers I had planted over Virginia's grave. Dad's drunken outburst. My own grief and fault.

I shut my eyes briefly, biting my lower lip. "I won't be going home this holiday. I'm staying here."

Five pairs of eyes stared up at me.

"Why not?" James pried immediately.

"I understand family problems, mate." Sirius put in. "I'm staying with James and his family this Christmas."

I raised my brows. "Is it that bad?"

James rolled his eyes. "My company isn't as terrible as you make it out to be, Harkstone."

"I don't know, I think she's pretty spot on." Lily said coolly, earning a laugh from Sirius and a quiet chuckle from Remus.

"You can come home with me, Amber." Lily said as we walked away from the boys. "We have a spare room. You're always welcome."

But I thought of Petunia, her sister, who despised Lily in her childish, petulant jealousy. I thought of how she took her for granted. What would Petunia do if Lily suddenly died? Would that haunt her for the rest of her life, regardless of whether or not it was her fault?

I already knew the answer in my heart. The death of a sister was something you simply never completely recovered from.

And I didn't want to be reminded of Virginia every time I interacted with the Evans sisters.

"No, thanks, Lily." I said as we walked up the changing staircases. "I really just want to be alone this holiday."

Lily looked concerned. "Are you sure?"  
I nodded once. "Yeah. It's just… going to be really hard to be home without Virginia. I'd rather just stay here where I'm comfortable."

Lily didn't look convinced, but she didn't argue. "I understand. Sort of. I'm really sorry, Amber. I can't even imagine."

I tugged at the pendant absently. "It's okay."

Lily ascended with me to the portrait of a fat lady in a pink gossamer gown. "This is the entrance to our Common Room. Just wait here for a minute while I get the clothes."

"Thanks, Lily." I said as she walked towards the portrait. "For breaking the rules for me."

Lily smiled, green eyes sparkling. "Amber, I'd do anything for my best friend. Even die."

Being reminded of death and having it connected back to me made my stomach clench tightly. But I forced a small smile instead.

Lily faced the fat lady, smiling. "_Expecto Patronum_."

But the Fat Lady was staring at me. Her eyes narrowed in a very McGonagall-style way. "What's she doing here? Listening in on the password?"  
Heat burned my face. "Um, no. I'm just waiting for her."

The Fat Lady looked annoyed. "I won't let in anyone but Gryffindors."

"That's fine." I said immediately. "I'm not trying to sneak in." _Not yet._

The Fat Lady didn't looked convinced. But she swung open to reveal a stone tunnel. Lily disappeared into it. As soon as she was inside, the Fat Lady slammed shut. She looked down at me reproachfully.

"Was that really necessary?" I muttered, hugging my arms to my chest, suddenly cold.

"It's part of my job description." She replied very matter-of-factly.

Two minutes later, the portrait swung open again, and Lily emerged, carrying a set of school robes. "Here you go. We're about the same size, so-"

I cut her off by coughing loudly, giving her a warning look. Her eyes widened as she realized her near-fatal mistake.

"So I'm sure that you can help me with shopping for new ones when I'm home this holiday." She amended hastily. The Fat Lady didn't seem to pick up on the ulterior motive, but she watched us carefully as we left for the library.

"That was close." Lily said in a hushed voice behind a tall stack of books. Madam Pince was reading dutifully at the front desk.

"I know." I took the clothes from her gratefully. "Thanks again, Lily. I owe you a big one."  
"Whatever." Lily said lightly. "Just try and get me a date with Sean Locke."

My mouth dropped open. "_What_?"

Lily winked. "Well, if you get Remus, then I want Sean. It's only fair. You can't have two suitors."

Fire raged in my face. I stomped away, shaking my head hard. "You can have both. I'm _not _interested."

"Your face says something different." Lily sang as I sprinted out of the library and away from her teasing. Which, as much as I didn't want to admit, wasn't far from the truth.

* * *

Most of the classes were easy enough that day. Most professors were looking forward to leaving just as much as we were. No one assigned homework, except for Folsom.

"I expect a full ten pages on the dangers of yetis and reindeer." He said in his high, haughty voice among the groans. "Small writing. Points will be deducted for letters larger than the size of a pea."

"What an arse." James muttered as we left the class. "I should do something about him."

"As if sending a dragon after him wasn't enough?" I reminded him as Sirius flanked us.

"It wasn't actually a dragon. It was a candle." Sirius clarified.

"Whatever. If you two ever get caught for that…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." James said loudly. "We know. We'll be expelled."

"The horror!" Sirius moaned. Both boys burst out laughing.

I rolled my eyes. "Are we still meeting tonight?"

"Yep. 2 am. The Common Room. Oh, and take this," James said, handing me a small vial of poop-colored liquid. It smelled and looked like it as well.

I felt my stomach clench. "What the _hell _is this?"

Sirius grinned devilishly. "What do you think, Miss Ravenclaw? Come on, you're supposed to be smart."

"Supposed to be, key phrase." James sneered.

I shot him a black look and held up the vial to the light. It was certainly disgusting-looking. But as I examined it closer, I let out a soft gasp.

"Yep." James said, grinning. "Knew she'd be impressed."

"How on earth-" I hissed as we moved farther away from the classroom, "did you manage to get your hands on _polyjuice potion_?"

"Family recipe." Sirius said, winking. "Had my brother request it from home. We added the final ingredient, of course."

"Which is?" I said suspiciously, not entirely believing them.

"A hair from the person you'll be transforming into." James said. "It was too cold to meet outside, and Folsom's teamed up with Filch. The entire castle is covered right now. I think they're onto us."

"Probably." I agreed, disgruntled. "Who exactly did you get this hair from?"

"Take a wild guess." Sirius said. "Come on, anyway."

"McGonagall?" I hedged. Both boys erupted in laughter.

"What?" I snarled. "You're always calling me McGonagall Junior!"

"Yeah, we know!" Sirius laughed. "But come on. How would we get a hair from _her?_"

"Well, I assumed that was possible, considering you got _this_ into Hogwarts illegally." I retorted.

"So grumpy." James teased. "Just drink it ten minutes before two a.m. and get to the portrait as fast as you can. It only works for an hour."  
"I know how Polyjuice potion works." I snapped.

"Sorry, sorry." James said, but he was smirking. "Just drink it and meet us there. Got it?"

"Got it." I said, stuffing the glass vial into my book bag. "I'll see you two toerags later."

"Aw, and here I was, thinking we were _almost _her friends." Sirius said, mockingly wounded.

"_Almost _is still completely _not_." I said coolly, sweeping away up into the Ravenclaw Common Room to complete Folsom's assignment before the meeting tonight.

* * *

I finished the parchment roll before midnight. When the clock notched half-past one, I closed _Hogwarts, a History _and left it on the coffee table in front of me. I rose the sighing couch and changed into the robes that Lily had let me borrow. I clutched the glass vial of Polyjuice potion in one hand, my wand stuffed into my belt.

"I'm an idiot for doing this." I mumbled, but twisted off the cork and held it up, staring at the mud-like substance. It looked repulsive as it smelled.

"Okay… here goes." I brought the vial to my lips. The glass was cold. My intestines were already writhing in protest.

_Just do it. Don't even think about it. _I swallowed hard, my mouth already filling with saliva like it would before I threw up. I shut my eyes tightly and pictured myself sitting on the beach somewhere tropical, about to drink refreshing, sweet pink lemonade.

I tipped back the vial and emptied the contents into my mouth.

I cringed, expecting to taste extreme sourness or bitterness, but to my complete shock, I tasted… _pink lemonade._

My eyes popped open in total surprise. I swallowed the potion, which had the texture of mud, but flavor of a smooth, sweet drink. I swallowed hard after it, waiting for the nausea to overwhelm me, but none came.

Instead, I felt a warm tingling across my skin. My mouth – which was turned-down so often these days – curved up in a smile. My skin tightened and pulled. When I opened my eyes again, I hurried to the nearest mirror I could find and clapped my hand over my mouth.

Staring back at me was my best friend. Lily Evans.

Heart pounding, I reached out and touched the cold surface of the mirror. Her hand – _my _hand – reflected the movement. Head spinning on a high of adrenaline, I grabbed a hank of my now-red hair and pulled lightly.

I felt it in my scalp in the precise location.

I burst out giggling, halfway between crazy and thrilled. It had worked. Toerags or not, Sirius and James were brilliant. They had truly outdone themselves this time.

I hurried out of the Ravenclaw Common Room, feeling like I was floating under the _leve pondus _charm. My hands slid down the new spiraling railings along the staircase. I set off for the Gryffindor Common Room, completely oblivious to any possible dangers. Recklessly running as fast I could to the Fat Lady's portrait, fully aware of the time limit to my transformation.

The Fat Lady was deeply asleep, snoring loudly when I skidded to a stop in front of her. "_Expecto Patronum._"

She startled awake. "Who… who goes there?"

I lifted my head a notch, forcing a big smile, something Lily would do. "Lily Evans. Second year."

The Fat Lady stared down. "What are you…" She broke off into a huge yawn, revealing her double chin. "what are you doing out so late?"

Thinking quickly, I said, "I needed to see McGonagall. I'm okay now."

"Oh… well… that's wonderful." She mumbled drowsily. She swung open.

My heart jumped into my throat. Was it really that easy?

"Thanks." I said, wanting to tear down through the tunnel and burst into the Common Room, but knowing that Lily wouldn't behave in such a way. I forced myself to be calm and precise. I walked gracefully through, hearing the portrait sigh shut behind me.

The Gryffindor Common Room was different than the Ravenclaw's. Ours, which was high up in a spiraling tower, with tall, wall-length windows and curtains, this one was cozier, with a roaring fireplace and overstuffed red couches and armchairs. Tapestries and portraits hung on the walls, instead of bookshelves. Seated before the merry fire were four boys.

The other Marauders.

Legs still shaky from the adrenaline rush, I stepped forward. Two of them were watching me. Peter was asleep in an armchair. Sirius was staring deeply into the fire with an unusual grim look on his face. James and Remus were watching me enter with keen interest in their eyes.

"Hello." I said cautiously.

Remus raised his brows. James swallowed hard, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

"Hi." He said back.

"Uh… nice place." I said, Lily's voice instead of mine. I blinked several times, still disoriented.

"We should test her." James said quietly. "Just to make sure it's really Harkstone in there."

I frowned at him. "Of course it's me, you idiot. You gave me this potion and made me come _here, _of all places, at two in the morning. Thanks for making me lose sleep."

"That's definitely Amber." Remus said, amused.

James looked half-irritated, half-impressed. "You showed up."

"Of course I did. I don't blow things off." I chose an armchair closer to the fire. Sirius just now noticed me and did a double-take.

"It's Harkstone." James informed him. "Don't freak out."

"Right." Sirius said, sounding disconcerted. "You sure?"

I slapped a palm to my forehead. "Unbelievable. I can't believe I ever agreed to an Unbreakable Vow with you two."

Sirius grinned. "Welcome, Tomato."

I rolled my eyes. "I think I prefer 'Harkstone', thanks."

Both boys looked gleeful.

"Let's get on with it." Remus advised. "She doesn't have much time."  
"Good point." James said swiftly. "Lily, I need you-"

"_Harkstone_." I snapped.

"Right, right." James cleared his throat. "Harkstone, while we're away and the school is empty, we think it's the perfect opportunity for you to do some exploring."

"Oh, goody." I sat back in the chair, stretching my legs. "And what exactly does that entail?"

"Lily definitely isn't this waspish." Sirius agreed as Peter snored.

"Remember that map we're working on?" James pressed. He pushed the folded-up parchment towards me, his hazel eyes serious for once. "I need you to work on it while the rest of us are away. It's a great opportunity, and it would be huge if we could flesh out more of what this school is hiding."

"I thought you wanted to do this." I said, frowning. "This was supposed to be _your _thing, remember?"

"Yes, but being on a Quidditch team has taught me a lot about how important teamwork is." James said earnestly. "And you've got those brains that we need. And eyes and ears on the other side."

"What James means is that we need you." Sirius interpreted. "Like, way more than we thought we did. And we'd really, really appreciate it if you took pity on us and helped us out. You're a Marauder, aren't you?"

I could feel my frown deepening. "You've been learning from Peter how to beg, haven't you?"

Sirius winked.

"Please, Amber." Remus said, interjecting. "I know we don't say it enough… but you're a really brilliant witch. The brightest in our year. Maybe even our whole school."

"It's too bad you've got that mouth on you." James said. "It kind of takes away from that."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe if you two didn't provoke me so much…"  
"But that's no fun." Sirius finished. "I won't be home until summer, and even then, I hope I don't have to be there long. I heard from Regulus that me Mum is going to send me away to camp or something so that I don't have be home."  
I thought of my own distant mother, emotionally destroyed and then miraculously pieced back together. Still incredibly fragile and unpredictable. But that had been due to her grief. What would it be like to have a mother who hated you just for being in the wrong House? For being who you were?

I understand only a little. And it didn't make me like Sirius any more than I already did, but it did give me a flutter of sympathy.

"But the point of this potion was for practice." Sirius went on. "To see if you could handle the potion. And you did."

"Fantastically well." Remus said proudly.

"Thanks for that, lover boy." James teased. "So… we've decided that we want _you _to take another dose of Polyjuice this summer."

"Where are you going with this?" I said suspiciously.

"It's nothing that you can't handle." James assured.

"What is it?" I pressed, feeling the first warning pangs of dread.

Sirius grinned. "We want you to impersonate my brother."


	23. Lions, Snakes, and the Eagle

Sirius's words hung in the air like slowly deflating balloons. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his gray eyes – the exact same color of his brother's. The one I was supposed to impersonate.

"Are you out of your mind?" I said very quietly, feeling my pulse rocketing up dangerously. I could feel the blood rush to my face in automatic anger and indignation. My voice was too high and too not mine – I sounded just like Lily.

"Told you she'd take it bad." Remus sighed.

"Shut up." I snapped, jumping to my feet. "Why does it have to be _me_? Why can't it be one of you?"

"Quiet, Evans." James retorted. "I mean, Harkstone."

"What does it matter?" I complained. "You don't listen to me anyway. You'll hound me and whine until I finally give in and do what you want. Am I right?"  
"She's got us nailed, mate." Sirius muttered.

"It has to be you because you're the only one smart enough to do it." James said seriously. "Sirius would set off whatever magical alarms they have."

"They've all but banned me from the place." Sirius added, winking proudly.

"And Remus… well… he's got his condition. It would also set off the alarms."

"They've got anti-werewolf charms." Sirius said. "Sorry Moony."

Remus shrugged.

"And Peter…" James gestured to the sleeping boy. "For obvious reasons…"

"Okay, I get it." I snapped. "So what excludes _you, _Potter?"

James steepled his hands importantly. "If it was up to me, I'd go as Regulus. But I have to stay back here and cover for you. Don't you think Folsom will be suspicious when you're absent from class? Don't you think he'll go looking for answers?"

"So?"

"So… I'll be absent from class. And I'll take a dose of Polyjuice Potion and go as you."

"You know what I think." I said slowly, piecing it together in my mind. "I think that you want _me _to go because you don't want to get your hands dirty."

There was a pause. James shrugged. "That's partly true."

Throwing my hands up in the air, I turned my back on him and stalked in front of the fire.

"So what do expect me to do if I run into trouble?" I said quickly, swallowing against the sudden dryness in my throat. "Is your family really as bad as you say they are, then I'm going to be going up against dark witches and wizards."

"That's nicer than what I'd call them." Sirius said, rubbing his cheek with one hand. "You won't be going alone. I'll be coming with you, as myself. We'll be able to handle it together."

"Remember _why _you're going to their house." James put in. "You want that file on Folsom. Got it? That's the whole point of the mission."  
I snorted. "Mission? You make it sound so professional and respectable. Well, it's not, Potter. It's illegal and we could get into a lot of trouble. There are worse things than being expelled."

"I know." James said. "But it's foolproof. You'll be in and out and done before you know it. We've got a plan."  
"Oh, joy." I paced, unable to make myself sit still. "Sirius, didn't you _just _say you couldn't get into your own house? Why was it again? Oh, right. Because your family banned you?"  
Sirius looked extremely smug. "That's correct."

"So how do you expect to go along with me?"

Sirius grinned. "I'm glad you asked, Harkstone." He rose to his feet, gesturing to an empty chair between Remus and Peter.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

James was grinning now too.

Remus rose to his feet and stood next to me. I raised a brow at him.

"Just watch." He said grimly.

Sirius grabbed a handful of air and pulled – hard.

Frank Longbottom stood statue-still, frozen. His eyes were closed. He swayed slightly on his feet, and let out a nearly-silent snore.

My mouth dropped open. Remus touched one shoulder quickly. "Don't scream."

"I'm… I'm…" The words died in my mouth at his warning. I wanted to scream and shriek at the pure idiocy of what they'd done.

"We just jinxed him." James assured. "He's just asleep."

"If he's asleep then why is he standing _up_?" I said in a strangled voice, disgusted.

"We needed to show you proof. You never knew he was here, did you?"

Lost for words, I could only stare at them.

"I'll wear the Invisibility Cloak. And with that brain of yours, I was hoping you'd be smart enough to figure out a spell for me to levitate with."

"_Leve pondus_." I managed, shaking my head. Red hair flashed before my eyes – Lily's hair.

"What do we do if we get caught?" I said after a long pause, feeling the eyes of the boys on me. "What then?"  
Sirius's face lost the excited gleam. "With luck, we'll get out of there alive."

I could only stare at him.

"The risk is what makes it fun." James added excitedly.

"Amber," Remus said quietly, bringing me back to reality, "you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"She does." James said rudely. "She made a Vow."  
I pressed a hand to my pounding forehead. The potion would be wearing off soon. Twenty minutes tops. "I don't like this."

"Why not? Because you're a stickler for rules? Because you don't know how to have fun? Life's not about following the rules, Harkstone." James urged. "It's about breaking them."

I glared at him with as much contempt as I could muster. If he only knew.

"Sometimes," I said slowly, words dripping with malice, "rules are meant to protect."

The air crackled with tension. James stared at me, looking furious.

"We can't do this without her." Sirius reminded him. "She's the key to the plan."

"Don't make me sound like I'm someone important!" I exploded. "I'm nobody! I'm just a Ravenclaw. Don't… just don't."

"That's enough." Remus said sharply. I snapped my head towards his direction, feeling like he'd slapped me, but the feeling immediately ebbed when I saw that his gaze was focused on James and Sirius. "She doesn't want to do this. Don't force her."

"Moony, we _talked _about this." James argued. "We _need _her to get that file. To prove that Folsom is really the axe wound we know he is!"

"He might even be a 'she'…" Sirius mused. James rolled his eyes, uncharacteristically cross with his best friend.

"Look." James said quietly. "I think Folsom is exactly what Harkstone says he is. He's up to something shady. And we need proof to get him out of here."

"And then what?" I interjected. "What if Dumbledore still doesn't believe us?"

"If you get your hands on that file," Remus said, "then it'll be infallible proof that Folsom needs to go. He isn't fit for teaching."

"This isn't just a personal vendetta between you two." James continued. "I've got a pretty good instinct, and I trust it. Folsom's bad news, and we've got to get him out of Hogwarts."

_And away._ But a part of me cried out in warning. _What if he wants revenge? He's already threatened you… what will happen if Dumbledore sets him loose? You'll be in serious trouble._

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. "I agree to the terms… if, IF-" I said harshly, trying not to look at the slumbering form of Frank Longbottom, "we learn about defensive charms and spells together. We need to have more meetings."

"But we have Quidditch." James cut in.

"And… homework." Sirius added glumly.

"If Amber feels we need to be safe, then that's what we need to do." Remus said harshly. "What if Folsom decides to come after us? What then? We need to be prepared. And…"

"And if what?" James challenged. "Go on. Finish."

Remus waved him off. "It's nothing. Forget about the last part."

James shrugged. "Fine. We'll make time for more practice."

"At least twice a week." I said immediately.

"Once." James bartered.

"Twice. And if you say no again, I'm raising it to three."

James glowered at me from behind his glasses. "You're a real pain in the arse sometimes, Harkstone. Even for a girl."

"I'll take that as a compliment, coming from someone who can't even see without an extra set of eyes."

"Ouch." Sirius sniggered. Peter snored loudly, startling Frank awake. The four of us froze.

"What… where am I?" Frank said drowsily, rubbing his eyes.

"You're on your way back to bed." James said easily. "Are you feeling alright, Frank? You look tired."

Frank's eyes were drooping closed again. "I must have been… sleep walking… again…"

"That's right, mate." Sirius said encouragingly. "Go back to bed."

Nodding and yawning hugely, Frank turned his back and slowly shuffled away. I listened to his footsteps echo and disappear up a spiraling staircase into the shadows.

"That was close." I hissed. "Too close."

"We've had worse." James said. "Do we have a deal? You and Sirius will get that file? In exchange for extra defensive spells lessons?"

I hesitated, wondering when I would ever have this amount of power in my hands again over James Potter and Sirius Black. "One more condition."

"Here we go…" Sirius mumbled.

I gave him a dark look. "You two will leave Severus alone for the rest of the year."

James and Sirius looked appalled. "_What_?!" They exclaimed in unison.

"You heard me. No more bullying or picking on him, or the deal's off."

"Just until summer!" James snapped.

"Fine. But I'll let Lily deal with you herself if you do otherwise."

Sirius looked mutinous, but finally acquised with a nod of his head. "Fine… deal. But I don't like it."

I gave him a fake smile. "Welcome to my life."

Remus, however, looked pleased and impressed.

"You'd better get back to the nest, birdie," James tossed in snarkily. "You wouldn't want to get caught out of bed, would you?"

_Folsom. _Would he show up in the halls on the way back to the tower?

Remus must have noticed the panicky look on my face, because he offered to take me back. "I can escort you."

"No, it's okay." I said, half-truthful. "I'll be quicker alone."

"If you're sure." Remus said, looking concerned.

I forced a smile to put his fears at ease. "Really, I'm fine."

"Ooooooooh…" James and Sirius snickered.

"Very mature, boys." I said in disgust.

"God, she really _does _look and act like Evans." Sirius laughed.

Rolling my eyes, I stalked out of the common room and down the portrait hole. "Good night, boys."

There was a triplet of farewells. The Fat Lady creaked open. She was still snoring.

I stepped out onto the landing. The Fat Lady closed quietly behind me. The moment she closed, I felt a prickle of foreboding. The moving staircases were still in motion, but their typical groaning was subdued. The entire space was silent.

"It's just nighttime." I whispered to myself, drawing my ash wand and holding it with a shaky hand. I guessed I had ten minutes left on the Polyjuice Potion. I took the nearest flight of stairs and began the long, steep climb to the top of the castle, where the Ravenclaw Common Room was. By the eighth staircase, I was desperately wishing for an escalator.

At the tenth, however, I was wishing for James's Invisibility Cloak.

Hovering in midair on the tenth landing was Peeves. Humming merrily to himself, Peeves was busy filling water balloons with red powder from a black bucket.

I hung back, crouched low behind a granite bannister. Maybe if I created a commotion below, a distraction, I could get past him.

But Peeves looked too busy to be distracted by anything but his current task. And knowing Peeves, it was nothing good. He was too much like James and Sirius.

I watched as Peeves filled a third and fourth balloon with red powder. I pointed my wand at one and whispered, _"Wingardium leveosa._"

The white balloon slowly lifted into the air.

Peeves noticed after a moment. "Oh, my my!" He cackled. "Someone's out of bed!"

A thrill of horror raced down my spine. _How did he know?!_

"I can hear you whisper your incantations, little witch!" Peeves went on loudly. "Someone needs to learn nonverbal magic if they don't want me to teach them a lesson!"

Heart pounding, I decided to gamble. I leapt up from my hiding spot, revealing my identity and making Peeves pause in his cackling. "Peeves!" I whispered tightly. "Please! Just let me pass."

Peeve's translucent eyes were the size of tennis balls. "Ohoho! A _Gryffindor_ out of bed so late? How unusual! I thought you'd be like those Slytherins, always sneaking out of bed… you just missed them a few minutes ago!"

I could feel the blood drain from my face. "There's a group of Slytherins out of bed?"

Peeves grinned devilishly. "I think you should join them."  
Behind Peeves, I could see the final two staircases that would take me up the Ravenclaw tower. If only I could get past him. But there was no way without him making a ruckus. And if he did, I knew I wouldn't have time to get all the way up to the tower unnoticed or unreported.

Desperately wishing I had just stayed hidden and waited until he was gone, I wracked my brain for any bargaining chips that I had.

"You know," I said quickly, not sure where the words came from, "my sister is dead."

Peeves looked utterly flabbergasted, as if that was the last thing he expected to hear me say aloud. "You… your what?"

"My sister." I said, and it was easier to lie when I looked and sounded like someone else. "Maybe you know her ghost."

"Maybe." Peeves looked intrigued. "What's her name?"

"Parsnip Evans." I lied again. "She's eleven."

"Hmmm…" Peeves shrugged. "Haven't had the fortune of meeting her. But Moaning Myrtle… she's quite easy to provoke."

While I spoke to Peeves, I had slowly started to make my way up the stairs and past him. If I could just make it another half-flight of stairs, I could run to the tower and be inside before anyone caught me. And I would be Amber again.

"I haven't met her yet." I said, trying to appear greatly disappointed. "I'd like to ask if she knows my sister."

"What was her name again?" Peeves said, drawing closer.

"Uh… Peony Evans."

Peeves grinned suddenly. "You think old Peevsie doesn't know a liar when he sees one? Nice try, little girl, but you'll have to do better than that if you don't want to get caught!"

Peeves held out a long sewing needle. I stumbled backwards on a step. "What are you doing with that?" I said, my voice rising in panic.

Peeves smiled wider. "I hope you get my _point_, little girl! You'd better run and hide before they come for you!"

He jabbed the eye of the needle into the floating white balloon.

It exploded in a flash of red and white. The loudest lion's roar I'd ever heard in my life echoed and bounced between the walls and throughout the entire throat of the stairwell. Hundreds of feet of sound reverberating to the point of madness. I clamped my hands over my ears.

Peeves looked extremely pleased with himself. He vanished.

I yanked my hands off of my ears. The roaring was fading. But every painting was waking up, some muttering and others shouting. I couldn't let them see me like this. Lily would be in trouble. It wasn't a question of if _I_ was in trouble anymore… but how much.

I ran for it.

I ducked my head as I pelted up the last two flights of stairs. I skidded hard to avoid the sticky step near the top of the last rise, palms slick with nervous sweat and the blood pounding in my ears. The paintings were loud, the countless voices blending into a babble of untangible noise. I hurtled down the stone corridors, my shoes slapping against the granite, echoing off the walls.

If Filch or Folsom were looking for me, I had minutes – if not seconds – to get to the Common Room.

There was a stitch in my side and tears stung my eyes, but I couldn't stop now. It was one matter if Filch caught me, but if it was Folsom… I was doomed.

And I only had a fifty-fifty chance of meeting Filch.

I pumped my legs harder. I rounded the last corner, the last leg to the Tower.

_I'm going to make it. I'm going to get back before they notice I'm g-_

I collided full-force into a warm mass. The impact sent me flying back, landing hard on my tailbone. I gasped, limbs stiffening. Eyes screwed up in pain, I tried to open them. Tears streamed from the edges of my vision, blurry and watery. A dark shape was hunched over, rubbing its head.

"What the _hell_?" The thing hissed, and my jaw dropped open.

"_Severus_?" I said in disbelief. "Severus Snape?"

The boy stiffened. He looked visibly distressed. "Lily?"

I stilled. The Polyjuice Potion hadn't worn off. Yet. I still looked and sounded like Lily Evans.

Clearing my throat, I tried to stand up, but my backside screamed in protest, so I winced instead and didn't move. "Yeah."

Severus looked appalled. "I'm so sorry, Lily! I didn't mean… I wasn't looking where I was going…"

I narrowed my eyes. A moment ago he'd sounded furious, ready for a fight, as if it had been my fault that we'd collided. Now, he sounded guilty as a dog who'd eaten homework. He almost sounded… scared.

"It's alright, Sev." I said, using Lily's nickname for the Slytherin boy. "What are you doing out here?"  
Severus glanced around nervously. His pale skin was even whiter than normal now. "I… uh…" His thin black brows drew together. "What are _you _doing out?"

Blushing, I cleared my throat again. "I was going to visit Amber. She's supposed to help me with my homework."

"But you're the top student." Severus pointed out.

"That's true." I agreed, annoyed. "But she's the second-top student. And it's good to have feedback from each other."

Severus shrugged, accepting my feeble story. I stared at him, astounded. Did he really believe any word Lily said?

"Listen," Severus said quietly, "you need to get up and go back to the Common Room. Now."

It wasn't an order, but a thinly-veiled warning.

"Why?" I said warily. "What's going on, Sev?"

Severus tucked a lank of greasy hair behind an ear. His black eyes swiveled back and forth. "Someone gave Peeves some enchanted balloons. Filch will be here any moment."

"Maybe." I conceded. "But not if he runs to the other end of the castle. It's a big place."

"No, listen, Lily." Severus sounded really nervous now. He was wiping his hands on his robes, something I did when my own palms were soaked with sweat. "You have to get out of here. I'll go the other way and distract him so that you can get away."

I frowned. "But isn't the Slytherin Common Room at the complete opposite end of the school? In the dungeons? The lowest point of the castle? We're at the highest."

Severus swallowed hard. "I know that. I just don't want you to get caught."

I studied Severus closely. He wouldn't meet my eye and he kept biting his lower lip, probably unaware of what he was doing. For whatever reason, I – Lily – made him exceedingly nervous.

But why, if he trusted her? She seemed to be his only friend.

"Go. Now." Severus pleaded. "Before he gets here."

I tried standing again. Pain radiated like a furnace in my lower back, but I gritted my teeth and stumbled to my feet. I looked down the flights of stairs, all the way down to the Gryffindor Common Room, and knew that there was no way I could make it even halfway there. And who knew how much longer the Potion would last?

"What are you waiting for?" Severus urged. "Go!"

"I hurt my tailbone." I explained, one hand pressed on my back, the other on the wall for support. "I don't think I can make it. I'll just go the Ravenclaw's and wait for Amber's help. I'm sure she knows a healing spell."

"I don't know." Severus said quickly. "Just go. I hear someone coming."

Sure enough, I could hear the soft whisper of robes coming towards us from behind. I took a single step forward and gasped in pain.

"Lily!" Severus whispered, distressed.

"I'll be fine." I promised, squeezing my eyes shut, heart pounding. What if it was Folsom? What could I do?

"Lily…" Severus said, sounding panicked. "You need to leave. Now."

"Just give me a minute." I took another step, wondering if I could slip behind a pillar and hide. If I could wait until whoever the night guard was passed.

But before I could do that, four black shapes appeared around the corner. All boys. All wearing the green Slytherin badges on their lapels.

"Well, well." A voice drawled. "Isn't this interesting… Looks like Snape brought his girlfriend."

Logan Avery.

"Out on a late-night date." Edward Nott added.

"Not sure what he wants with a filthy little Mudblood." William Mulciber sneered viciously.

Though I was a half-blood, I felt my face flame and fists curl in anger. "What did you just call me?"

"Self-righteous Gryffindor." Said another voice, much younger. Too young. "Just like my brother."

I turned slowly to face the four Slytherin boys. The familiar steel-gray eyes bored into my mine, every feature of his face declaring haughty pride for his pureblood status.

"Regulus." I muttered. It struck me again how Virginia would be in his year. Maybe she could have even been his friend.

If she had lived.

"She's just on her way out." Severus said, his voice clearer, trying to sound brave. But Slytherins weren't known for that attribute.

"I think if she's already here," Avery said silkily, "she should stay."

"Who knows." Mulciber added wickedly. "She might actually have fun."

"Or prove to _be _the fun." Nott growled.

I felt a warning prickle on the back of my neck. Severus looked whiter than the snow that fell softly outside the windows.

"Leave me alone." I said quietly, hands shaking, trying to stay in control. I pulled my hand away from my injured backside, forcing myself to stand up straight.

The boys laughed.

"Was it _you _who set off our little trap?" Avery drawled. "I gave him that bucket of Pride Powder myself. Told him to sound the alarm if anyone tried to come up here."

"Very clever." I said sarcastically. "So now, half of the castle is awake. And it's just a matter of time before someone like Filch gets up here."

But my threat was met with silence. And then, to my utter disbelief, more laughter.

"He could throw you all in detention!" I flashed. "And I'm sure Slughorn and Folsom won't appreciate having not one but _five _students caught out of bed."

"What an idiot." Regulus snorted, making my temper spike even higher.

"You know, I always wondered how such a smart witch could be a Gryffindor and not a Ravenclaw." Mulciber said. "How do you think anyone can pinpoint the sound of those exploding balloons? We chose Pride Powder because it's loud enough that the echoes are impossible to locate where it started. Our trap made it so that the intruder would run off and be caught, while we'd remain safe to roam."

Cold fear was dampening the hot anger. "Who knew Slytherins had brains." I spat, trying to show them that I wasn't afraid of them. Trying to lie.

"And who knew Gryffindors had such horrible manners." Nott said darkly. "We'll have to fix that."

These boys were different than the Marauders. The Marauders, who only wanted to have fun while ignoring the rules, would never hurt someone to the point past recovery. This group, I knew, could make someone disappear, and not lose an hour of sleep over it.

I needed to be very, very careful.

"You look a little pale tonight, Snape." Avery observed. "Feeling alright?"

"He's a second year. He's past his bedtime." Mulciber said.

"He's only upset because he doesn't want us to see his little Mudblood girlfriend." Regulus said blandly.

"Enough!" Snape said hotly. "Leave her out of this. Lily, go back to the Common Room. Now!"

But I couldn't move. Not only was the pain in my backside making it nearly impossible to lift a leg, but now I could feel my skin crawling. The Polyjuice Potion was almost finished.

"She looks pale too." Nott said. "Maybe we should escort her to the infirmary. After we give her something to need fixing."

That did it.

"You're a disgusting pig." I spat. "All of you. _Especially _you, Regulus. You're eleven. Go back to bed. These pieces of crap aren't your friends. They're using you. Just like toilet paper."

"Watch your mouth!" Regulus barked, holding up his wand. "Or I'll challenge you to a duel. Girl or not."

"Let them." Nott said, sounding bored. "After he kicks her ass, we can throw her down the stairs and call for Folsom."

"_Folsom_?" I exclaimed. "What about Filch?"

Nott's eyes widened. I knew what he had just told me wasn't for my ears.

"Great." Avery sighed. "Now we'll have to kill her."

My blood chilled.

"No!" Snape shouted suddenly, pink spots of color appearing on his face. "Don't touch her. She's just talking, guys. She doesn't mean any of it."

"I'm sure." Mulciber said coolly, cracking his knuckles.

I knew I should have been afraid, but the metallic anger burning in me was so strong that I knew I only had moments before I would explode.

"I'm going to teach you a lesson, Evans," Mulciber said casually, approaching me. "And you'll never disrespect us again."

"No!" Snape said, lunging between us, just as Mulciber's thick fist passed through the air. It smashed into Severus's cheek with a sickening thud, and he crumpled to the ground in a heap, unconscious.

"Aw, crap." Mulciber swore vilely. "Little fool."

I stared at Severus, who had jumped in front of a vicious attack for me. No, for Lily.

What kind of friend did that?

Mulciber advanced, dark eyes glinting. "I hope you don't bruise too easily."

"I thought your mom told you never to hit girls." I retorted.

Mulciber grinned wickedly. "Do you always do what Mommy tells you?"

"No." I ducked as Mulciber swung, feeling my skin turning inside out, my hair changing color, "but maybe you should learn to listen to your parents."

There was a collective gasp of surprise as I jumped back, ignoring the pain in my back, pain making me want to bend over. I drew my wand out, ready for a fight.

"What the hell…?" Avery said, clearly thunderstruck.

"That's Harkstone!" Regulus snapped. "That Ravenclaw girl who runs with my brother's gang!"

"In the end," Mulciber growled, glowering at me, wand drawn, "she's just a girl."

"And she's outnumbered." Nott added calmly, drawing his own wand.

"Typical Slytherins." I spat. "You can never fight fair, can you?"

"Why fight fair when you can win?" Avery said smoothly. The four Slytherins approached me silently, completely ignoring the fallen Severus laying on the floor. Four wands, pointed at me. The intent to maim or injure was clear in their eyes.

I reached behind me slowly, feeling my sore lower back again. Maybe if I could press it hard enough, I could pass out from the pain before they could do anything to me. But even as I thought it, I knew it was fruitless. These boys were going to injure me further, conscious or not.

"I hope your parents have good medical insurance." Mulciber whispered.

"Stupid girl." Regulus spat.

The opal necklace twitched on my neck.

My fingers brushed a small, hard nub in my back pocket. I tried not to let the surprise register on my face. I wrapped my fingers around the small glass vial, heart pounding.

"I'm a girl," I said evenly, gripping my wand and the vial so hard that my hands trembled. "and you have no idea what I'm capable of."

I yanked my back hand forward and jammed the lip of the vial to my mouth and drained it.

The moment I moved, the boys each cast a spell:

"_Expelliarmus!"_

_ "Petrifius Totalus!"_

_ "Impedimentia!"_

_ "Crucio!_"

I felt the force of one spell hit me directly in the left shoulder. I stumbled, but moved quickly behind a stone pillar a few feet away while the smoke cleared.

"Where the hell is she?!" Mulciber roared. "I'll kill that little troll!"

"She got hit." Avery snarled. "There's no way she dodged all four."

"Well, keep looking." Nott murmured. "She can't have gone far."

"When we find her, I'll try my hex on her one more time. Just to make sure she got the message." Regulus cursed savagely, far too viciously for an eleven-year-old.

"Mulciber, get Snape." Avery commanded. "Bring him back to the Common Room. We'll look for that wench."

Mulciber swore under his breath. I could hear him heave Severus over one shoulder and shuffle away. The others split up, their fast footsteps echoing down the hall and the stairs.

I waited until I was sure they were gone. Shaking hard, I tried moving my hand to my back, but it was slow. So sluggish.

I winced in pain. Avery's jinx had hit its target. _Impendmentia _had slowed me down like I was moving through molasses instead of air. But that didn't hurt as much as knowing who had yelled _crucio_.

I shuffled silently towards the Ravenclaw Tower. It was so close. Just a few feet more…

A door opened at the end of the hall. A shape, coming quickly. Tall and wearing red. I stopped, holding my breath.

Folsom.

He passed by quickly, like a thunderstorm, his eyes fixed straight ahead, completely missing the fact that he was just inches from slamming into me.

Over my shoulder, I watched him disappear down the stairs, in the same direction as the Slytherin boys.

My heart was still racing when I started moving again. _Thank you God that I had that Invisibility Potion with me_, I prayed silently as I made it to the foot of the Ravenclaw Tower. I glanced down the hallway and stared at the wooden door that Folsom had appeared through. What was beyond it? And what was the Slytherin Professor doing out so late in the night?

Swallowing, I slowly walked to the door, the curse still slowing me down. I paused at the door, my hand hovering over the handle. I pointed my wand at the lock, legs stiff from the pain in my back. "_Alohamora."_

The door creaked open.

Cold air blasted in silently. Snow fell in soft drifts, covering the stone balcony in white. Below, the Dark Forest sprawled out, dizzingly far.

It was just a small balcony… an observatory, if anything. Hardly any room for more than two people to stand comfortably. So what was Folsom doing out here on such a frigid night? And so late?

The cold stung my lungs with each breath. My eye caught a spot of dark color staining the white snow. I bent down slowly, exhaling to ease the pain in my back.

It was pink. Two spots of pink. Like drops of rain.

Blood.

And the bootprints that could only have come from Folsom.

Backing up, I slowly pushed the door shut, sealing off the winter air. _Maybe he just had a nosebleed. _

But I hadn't seen his nose run red when he swept by, unaware of my invisible body.

I started back towards the stairs, legs aching, head spinning with the events of the night. The boys were going home for the holiday. With luck, so would the other Slytherin boys and Folsom.

A chill ran down my spine. Two times a week wouldn't be enough for practicing defensive spells. No, it would need to be every day, if possible.

I inched my way up the stairs, the curse Avery had laid upon me gradually lifting. The Invisibility Potion wasn't enough to fool the Knocker on the door to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

"At night, they come out without being fetched. By day, they are lost without being stolen. What are they?"

"Stars." I said breathlessly, winded from the long climb.

"Quickly and excellently done." The Knocker said, and swung open to admit me.

I made it upstairs to the girl's dormitories. Already, some had gone home, collected by their parents early after the exams. Half of the beds were empty, mine included.

I washed my face as best as I could without being able to see it. The potion would linger for an hour, like the Polyjuice had. When I awoke, I would be visible.

I eased into my bed, laying on my side. Instant relief sapped at the pain in my back, but did not lessen the weight of horror inside my heart.

So much secrecy. So much hatred. What would those Slytherins do to me? I had to be very careful not to be caught alone until I was strong enough to take on at least four of them single-handedly. And I was only a second year.

I knew that the Slytherin gang couldn't rat on me without revealing themselves out of bed, too. But I also knew that they held grudges. And for whatever reason, they decided that I was a threat.

Why had they been out of bed in the first place? Why had they felt the need to attack or threaten me when I had discovered them? And what had Folsom been doing?

I tossed and turned, stretching the soreness in my back and wondering how much longer I could keep evading death. I had ended my sister's life. It was only natural that death would come find me, too.

But none of those things disturbed me more than the fact that one of the boys had tried to hex me with _Crucio._ And I knew who had done it.

I shut my eyes tightly, tears burning at the edges of my vision, a dull ache pounding between my ears. How was I going to tell Sirius that his eleven-year-old brother had cast an Unforgivable Curse?


	24. Lionheart's Confession

I didn't tell Sirius. Not for months. I couldn't. Every time I saw him after that night, my throat would constrict, choking on the weight of the truth of the words I wanted to speak. His little brother, only eleven, was practicing dark magic. Not just that: Unforgivable Curses.

None of the Slytherin boys ratted on me, because they knew as well as I did that by doing so, they'd incriminate themselves. So it was our secret. Though any time any of us crossed paths or made brief eye contact, it was clear that the incident was not going to be forgotten. Or forgiven.

Winter slowly melted into spring. The tops of the mountains remained white and majestic, but the slopes greened and birds returned to the budding trees. Students eventually began to spend more time outdoors as spring bloomed, the cold air and snows banished until next fall.

James spent almost every day working on his map. He would scrawl into it so much that even Sirius was starting to get annoyed. "Would you put that thing down?" He complained as I approached the four boys, sitting near the lakeshore one May afternoon.

"Someone's getting a little jealous." I drawled as I plopped down next to Remus. "Put it away, will you, Potter?"

"Sure thing, _Harkstone_." James said, annoyed. He tapped the parchment with the tip of his wand. "Mischief managed."

The black outlines and dots vanished.

"That's so cool, James!" Peter gushed. "How did you get it to be that way?"

"Simple charm." James said easily, adjusting his glasses. "Nothing, really. Anyone could do it."

"I can't." Peter said, sounding awed.

"Oh, please." I muttered, disgusted.

"Amber." Remus said gently.

I rolled my eyes. "What?"

"So moody this year." Sirius remarked, smirking. "What brings you here to the dark side, Harkstone? Lily banish you for hanging with our crowd?"

"Not yet." I replied, watching a small white bird dive into the lake and scoop up a tiny, wriggling red fish. "But it's just a matter of time."

"Grumpy, aren't you?" James teased.

"James." Remus interrupted.

"Sorry _Mum_," James retorted, mussing up his hair to make it look even more untidy than normal. A group of third year girls walked by, giggling and glancing at James, who seemed to swell with pride.

"What was _that _all about?" I said, repulsed.

"I'm playing in the Quidditch Final tomorrow." James said lazily. "I guess they're impressed with my three consecutive wins. There's a lot riding on my victory, Harkstone."

"She doesn't really understand Quidditch, mate." Sirius reasoned. "She's more interested in her books, like Moony."

"I could never forget that epic wipe-out during tryouts." James chuckled. "That was one for the books."

"I've been told I'm quite good with charms." I said casually as I drew out my wand, polishing it with the hem of my robes. "There's even a rumor out that I'm getting good at Potions. Who knows… I might just let my hand slip over your morning cups of pumpkin juice. And who knows… you two might be transformed into two little girls in an instant."

"You're bluffing." Sirius retorted instantly, narrowing his eyes. "You're terrible at Potions."

"Lily though… she's one to watch." James said. "I'll bet she'll be in the Slug Club by the time she's fourteen."

"Whatever." I said, shaking my head. Remus cleared his throat, nose-deep in a book.

"Will you put that away?" I snapped. "James already put his away. That's rude."

Remus narrowed his green eyes shiftily and closed his book. _Hogwarts, A History, Grade II _was printed on the front in brass letters.

"Doing homework, Moony?" James inquired.

"We _do _have some exams coming up in a few weeks." Remus pointed out. "We ought to be studying more. Especially you lot."

"We're smart enough." Sirius said easily. "Besides, brains don't get you anywhere in life. Not when you're got skills and looks like ours." He and James high-fived loudly, grinning and laughing.

I rolled my eyes. "Boys."

"Oh, come off it, Harkstone." James said. "Why'd you bother coming over here anyway?"

"Because." I said, taking a deep breath, rubbing the opal pendant around my neck, something I did under stress or nerves. "I need to tell you guys something."

Peter stared at me, round-eyed. Even quiet Remus looked curious. He pushed his closed book at little ways further. "What's on your mind?"

I had rehearsed it over in my mind for months. I still hadn't told the boys about my confrontation with the Slytherin boys. But now was the time. In just a few weeks, our second year at school would be finished, and we'd all be off for the summer. Lily had known something was wrong for the past few months. Severus – who had been knocked out cold during the brawl – had apparently not remembered the altercation whatsoever. But Lily was sharper than that. A month ago, she'd seen the expressions of the Slytherin group as we'd passed in the hall, moments so intense that I could feel lightning spark between us.

"What's happened to you?" Lily had finally asked one day as we sat down in Potions class. "Why do they always give you such dirty looks? Mulciber looks like he'd like nothing better than to kill you!"

"I know." I'd said ominously, remembering his ruthlessness. Lily had tried, and failed, to press the information out of me. Folsom hadn't bothered me as much, but still hung eerily around my desk whenever I would work on an assignment with Sirius and James, as if I was an interesting specimen he wanted to study. The kind of specimen that he would spear with a needle and keep on display on his wall.

"Amber?" Remus said gently, bringing me back to the present. "Are you alright?"

"Obviously she's not alright." James said loudly.

"She's barking." Sirius agreed.

I rolled my eyes. "For once, could you two please stop acting like you're the greatest things since sliced bread?"

"Just for a moment." James joked.

"I'm serious." I replied, narrowing my eyes. "Haven't you wondered about Folsom at all this past year and why he's been so… quiet?"

"Yeah." Sirius said, looking interested. "He's been a lot less… obtrusive."

"Maybe to you." I muttered. "He still watches me like I'm a dangerous bug he'd like to squish."

"Like an acromantula." Peter whispered, shuddering.

"No such thing." Sirius said airily. "Even though my mum says there's a colony of them living in the Dark Forest."

"Get out." I said dismissively. "Let's get real for a second. Please? It won't take long, and then you can go back to being your usual awful selves."

"Sounds good to me." James said lazily, mussing up his hair again.

I took a deep breath, trying to slow the accelerating pulse of my heart. Remus tilted his head curiously. "Amber?"

I swallowed hard, suddenly nervous. "It's about…" I glanced around nervously, making sure they we were alone.

"Hold on." James said, pulling out his wand and pointing it in the direction of the castle, where a few students milled about the grounds in the distance. "_Muffliato._"

"Go on." He said after a moment.

I took another deep breath. "Something happened right before Christmas."

"Did you get your period?" Sirius interrupted rudely. "My mum's always nutty with hers. Actually, that would explain your moodiness this year…"

I felt my face flame. "That is _none _of your business!" I half-shouted. "And that's definitely not what I wanted to talk to you about!"

"What's a period?" Peter wondered aloud.

"Shut up, Sirius." Remus growled. "Let her talk. Don't interrupt."

James shoved Sirius good-naturedly. Sirius grinned and quieted.

"As I was saying." I cleared my throat. "After our meeting before Christmas… before you all went home for holiday… I ran into some trouble on the way back to the Common Room."

Now the boys looked intrigued. James frowned slightly. "What kind of trouble?"

"Not the good kind." I wrung my wrists, my throat dry. "I still looked like Lily. The potion hadn't worn off yet. Peeves popped some balloons-"

"So that's what that noise was." Sirius exclaimed. "I thought I heard a lion's roar that night! But I figured it was just a first year messing around."

"Well, there was that." I said darkly. "I ran into Severus-"

"Snivellus-" James corrected.

"_Severus," _I hissed, "and a gang of Slytherins."

The spark of mischief went out of James' eyes. "Who?"

"Mulciber, Avery, Nott, and…" I looked at Sirius briefly. "And your brother."

"Regulus?" Sirius said, shaking his head. "No way. He wouldn't be caught dead running around with those blokes. They're… too old and too…"

"Cool? Don't you think Regulus would gravitate towards them? He's looking for older male attention, since you never gave him that growing up-"

"Don't talk about my family like you know us!" Sirius suddenly blurted, blotches of red appearing on his cheeks. "You don't know anything, Harkstone! He's a little git, but he's still my brother!"

I stared at him, feeling like a brick had just slid down my throat into my stomach, dragging heavily all the way. "Sirius…"

"Don't!" He barked. "Don't lie! He wouldn't be out of bed like that… He was always the good one. He's not a trouble maker."

"Like you." I said flatly, thinking of Virginia and what I'd give to be able to have my own little sister alive, even if it meant she was running around in the wee hours of the morning with a group of thuggish Slytherins. "Listen to me. I'm not lying, Sirius, and it gets worse."

"You _are_ lying!" Sirius snarled. "Regulus wouldn't be out there like that."

"Shut up, Sirius!" James said harshly. "Let her finish."

Surprised at his support, I watched Sirius throw his best friend a mutinous glare and begin tearing grass from the ground.

"They cornered me." I went on, remembering the altercation like it was the night before, instead of almost six months prior. "And Mulciber was going to kill me. He sounded like he was ready to but Severus jumped in the way."

"Severus did what?" Remus said. "He took the blow?"

"Mulciber was going to punch me, but yeah, he took the hit. He got knocked out bad… and that's why I don't think he remembers of any of it. But then they started coming for me, and I managed to down that vial of Invisibility Potion I had on me. One of them tried to curse with the Cruciatus Curse."

Silence met my words. Sirius stopped pulling up the grass for a moment. "Who?" He said quietly.

I looked into his eyes – the same steel-gray eyes of his little brother, who was so young, too young, to be around that kind of evil and violence – and lied. "I don't know. It was probably Mulciber."

"Mulciber seems to be the kind of bloke to do that kind of thing." James muttered, staring at the ground. "Did anything else happen?"

"Yes. After I hid, they left. And I saw Folsom coming towards me. He wasn't with them, but I think he had something to do with why they were all out of bed at that hour. I think they were having a meeting of some sort."

"Or an initiation." Sirius said hollowly.

"A what?" I said, frowning.

"Initiation." He lifted his haunted eyes to ours, and I wondered what kinds of things he had seen in his life, what kinds of things had occurred at his house. "Like when we made the Vow."

"I never made a Vow." Peter interrupted, looking put out.

"We don't need you to, Peter." James said fondly. "We already know you'd never betray our trust."

Peter looked flushed with pleasure at the praise.

"Don't make me puke." I groaned. "Enough with the flattery. What kind of initiation, Sirius?"

Sirius had turned his body and was now looking out upon the gently rippling surface of the lake. Clouds reflected in white patches and spots on the water, and another little red fish leapt out of the water and splashed back down before a bird could snatch it. He let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't know for sure. But I've heard my parents and their friends talking about some kind of mark. They support Voldemort. I don't know much about him, but if he was friends with Folsom… then it's more important than ever that we get to my house and find that file."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" James demanded. "Amber, this changes everything. We should have nicked that file months ago, right after all of this happened! Don't you get it? If Folsom was really doing some kind of initiation with those blokes, that file could be pointless now!"

"Don't you blame her!" Remus snapped, drawing surprised looks from all of us. Peter even looked frightened. It was close to Remus's time of the month, and I knew from experience that his wolfish nature was more likely to come out.

"I didn't attack her, Remus." James assuaged. "But she shouldn't have kept this to herself for so long."

"I didn't think it was that important!" I explained, but the words felt half-hearted. I knew I should have told them months ago, but a part of me wanted to pretend that it had never happened. Talking about it now made it real.

"This changes everything." James said into his hands. "I think we have to act. Today."

"Why today?" I said quickly, feeling the first flutters of panic. "What's so important about acting now?"

"Because," James said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "if Folsom knows that we're investigating him, he'll destroy the evidence incriminating him. And maybe he'll come after us."

"Or after me." I said quietly, remembering that awful moment when Folsom and I had been alone in his classroom when I had gone back to retrieve my bag. "He's threatened me before."

"How so?" Remus said, eyes narrowed.

"He just…" I closed my eyes, wishing I could forget the incident, every incident, involving Folsom. But he was branded into my mind like a scar. I couldn't get him out of my head. "He knows about me. He had information on my sister. The things he said… he's like Mulciber. I know he'd do something."

"Has he done anything yet?" James grilled. "Hurt you at all?"

I shook my head. "Just read my mind. He's a very skilled Legilimens."

"Or a vampire." Remus murmured. "Like you said. I've never seen him in the sunlight."

"Plus he seems like a bloodsucker." Sirius added. "We'll find out for sure."

"This can't wait until after exams?" I said, despairing over my grades. "I'm only second to Lily, and if-"

"Harkstone." James said seriously. "Listen to yourself. What's more important – grades or finding out the truth about Folsom?"

I paused, mulling this over briefly. "You're right."

"Someone record her saying that." James said, spreading his hands. "This will never happen again in our lifetimes."

Sirius let out a short laugh.

"I'm serious, though." I continued. "Sirius, your brother Regulus-"

"I don't want to hear it." Sirius interrupted, his smile vanishing. "If you're telling the truth, then we'll find out tonight."

"I wouldn't lie about this!" I exclaimed. "I wouldn't want my little sisters involved with those kinds of people either!"

"I said _shut up_!" Sirius erupted. Peter jumped. Sirius glared at me, his steel-gray as hard as stone. "Drop it. Until later. Got it?"

"Calm down." Remus snapped, staring at Sirius angrily. "Or I'll use a Shield Charm on both of you."

Sirius looked away, but his hands were balled into fists.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

Sirius looked just as peeved.

"Alright." James redirected, clearing his throat. "We've got to act. Sirius, Harkstone, can you two pull it together for tonight?"

"How are we supposed to get to Sirius's house?" I brought up. "The Hogwarts Express doesn't leave for London for another month, and there's loads of enchantments around here so that we can't Disapparate with an adult. We can't exactly just walk out of here."

"Harkstone, Harkstone." James chided. "There's always a loophole."

"When we went home for the holidays, we used the Floo Network in McGonagall's office." Remus said. "James will create some kind of diversion so that you and Sirius can use that. It'll take you right to Sirius's house. Sirius will take James' Invisibility Cloak and you'll both wear that until you get the house. Amber, you'll need to take a dose of Polyjuice Potion so you'll be disguised as Regulus."

James blinked. "You know the plan better than I do, Remus."

Remus smiled slightly. "I do listen, you know."

Sirius produced a small vial of muddy brown liquid from his robes. It glinted in the sunlight. "This has one of Regulus' hairs in it. Amber, take it right before we leave. It has an hour on it. One hour only."

"Can you two get it done in just an hour?" Peter murmured, looking positively sick with apprehension.

"Of course we can." I said, startling everyone, even myself. "We can do this. Whatever it takes to take down Folsom."

"Told you we'd rub off on her eventually." James swaggered, hazel eyes narrowed with pleasure. "Bad influences, aren't we, Harkstone?"

"Shut up." I snapped. "I still don't like that we'll be breaking rules like this."

"What's up with you and not breaking the rules anymore?" Sirius questioned. "You were fine with it last year."

_Because last year when I bypassed the Whomping Willow, my sister died. _But I held my tongue. James and Sirius knew that Virginia was dead, but they didn't know the real reason why. And that was how I wanted to keep it. Not even Remus knew, though I'd tried on more than one occasion to confess, to hint. But the truth was lodged inside of me like a cancer. Nothing I could do would ever fully purge it.

"She said she'll do it." Remus said, coming to my defense. "Leave it at that."

"Fine." James said, reaching over and plucking one of my long curling hairs. I yelped in pain and threw him a dirty look. "Was that really necessary?"  
James added the long yellow hair to a vial. "Actually, yes. I'll be taking Polyjuice to disguise myself as you later. It's one thing if I go missing. It's a whole other ballgame if you do. Folsom will know something's up. You two have way more of a vendetta than him and I do."

"Right." I said glumly, worried about what kinds of things James Potter would do with my body. Would he parade into the girl's dormitories? Crash a Slug Club party? Infiltrate the Ravenclaw Common Room? The possibilities were endless, and I didn't want to add more to the already frightening list.

I took a deep breath to clear my swimming head. "Alright… when do we leave?"

James glanced up at the castle. "Midnight."

I frowned. "Why does it have to be midnight?"

"It's spookier." Sirius chuckled.

"Midnight's too late." James said, looking troubled. "We have to go. Now. Right now."

I jumped, startled. "Are you serious? It's hardly noon!"

"It's better to do these things in broad daylight." Sirius added, looking energized. "A lot less likely to draw attention."

"That's true." I conceded, frowning. I had read earlier that the majority of burglaries had happened during the daytime when the owners were at work.

Guilt stabbed me, cold and sick, in the pit of my stomach. I was going to burglarize a house today. With Sirius. Would anyone else die because of my rule-breaking?

_This is different. _I told myself, but I had a hard time believing my own words. _It's not the Murder Tree. It's just Sirius's House._

"What's your address?" I asked Sirius, rising to my feet. Remus copied me.

"Twelve Grimmauld Place." Sirius responded. "Why?"

I shrugged. "London, right?"

Sirius looked suspicious. "Yes… why?"

"Nothing." I said, worrying my opal necklace again, staring at the huge outline of Hogwarts rising in the near distance. Here in the wilds of northern Scotland, we were isolated from Muggles and the Ministry of Magic. We were safe from people like Voldemort. But in London… we would be completely exposed. If Folsom found out and somehow followed us, we would have no protection. He wouldn't be under the watchful eye of other teachers or Dumbledore. Anything could happen in London.

I just hoped it wasn't worse than what had happened with the Whomping Willow, which swayed serenely in the early summer breeze just a few hundred feet away.

Twenty minutes later, we had left the lake behind and climbed up the winding staircase to the Transfiguration classroom. Wearing the Invisibility Cloak, I poked my head into the doorway. Professor McGonagall was standing at the podium of her classroom, waving her wand at a teacup, which instantly transformed into a tiny gray mouse. "Now you try it." She said, pointing to the blackboard where a list of instructions were scrawled in white chalk.

I was tugged back. "Well?" Sirius whispered.

"She's teaching. And I think it's a Doubles."

"Good." Sirius muttered. "Come on."

I followed him down the long stone hallway. Remus, James, and Peter had gone down to the Dungeons, where James would nick another vial of Polyjuice Potion from Professor Slughorn's supply. The older man always had a constant stash of various potions to use as examples for the class, and maybe to use in case of emergency.

"This way." Sirius said, a little louder since the hallway was deserted. Almost every student or teacher in the school was in class. The five of us were the only ones out of class.

"Won't it look suspicious that all five of us are missing?" I whispered fretfully to Sirius as we approached McGonagall's office, which was closed. "Someone will know something's up."

"You worry too much, Harkstone." Sirius mumbled back. "Have a little faith. The boys will make sure nothing happens while we're gone. Remember, we only have-"

"One hour." I finished. "I know."

Sirius nodded once. "Good." He drew his wand, tapping McGonagall's door. "It's locked."

I pulled out my own. "_Alohamora." _I whispered, aiming it right for the keyhole.

The door groaned quietly, but didn't budge.

"She must have known someone would try to sneak in." Sirius grumbled.

"Let me try something else." I said, raising my wand again. "Maybe it has a password."

"I don't think so." Sirius said, just as I said, "_Felidae_."

There was a clicking noise. Sirius's eyes were huge as he pushed open the door, which swung open silently.

"You're brilliant, you know." Sirius said, grinning. "How did you know?"

"You said I'm McGonagall Junior. I know her better than you do."

Sirius snorted, but he was smiling. He entered quietly, making a beeline for the fireplace. A few small flames licked at a stack of logs in the hearth. A jar of lime-green powder sat on the mantle. Floo Powder.

"Take the Polyjuice." Sirius reminded me. "Before we go. My parents will freak if I bring home a girl instead of Regulus."  
Still feeling things were going far too easily, I obeyed. I unstopped the little cork on the vial and tipped it back. It tasted bitter, like almonds and dark chocolate, and I could feel my skin tingle and bubble. I could feel my hair receding into my scalp and my nose elongating. I tapped the blue Ravenclaw crest on my right lapel and murmured, _"Chamelio._" The crest immediately changed into a green and silver symbol with a snake. The change was complete.

"My shoes are too small now." I moaned, my toes pinched. "Hang on for an hour, Harkstone." Sirius shushed, grabbing a fistful of powder and pulling the cloak off of me and over himself. "12 Grimmauld Place. Got it?"

"Got it." I affirmed, my heart beginning to race. One hour. That was all we had. And if we needed more time, I could simply trade Sirius for the cloak while he paraded around as himself in front of his family. His family couldn't be that bad, could they?

Sirius flung his handful into the fire, which erupted into dancing green flames. "12 Grimmauld Place." He said clearly in a rush of green fire.

I swallowed hard as the embers flickered down to the logs. A part of wondered what on Earth I was doing here. If I was smart, if I had learned anything, if I was a real Ravenclaw, I would stop right now and wait for Sirius to come back. We'd abandon this whole plan and chalk it up to utter foolishness and try again another time with a better idea. We would think all of this through logically and take our time before we acted.

But I wasn't a true Ravenclaw. I was a Hatstall. I was just as much Gryffindor as I was Ravenclaw. And Gryffindors were brave.

I took another deep, steadying breath and stepped closer to McGonagall's hearth. This wouldn't be like last time. No one would die this time because of me. There was no curse on entering Sirius' house. This time, there wouldn't be a body count.

So why did I feel so hesitant? So… scared?

Hands trembling, I reached up and grasped a handful of the powder. Shaking, I tossed it into the low fire, which roared to life at once, waiting for me.

"12 Grimmauld Place," I whispered in Regulus's voice, and stepped into the flames.


	25. 12 Grimmauld Place

A moment later I stumbled out of a huge gray hearth, my feet catching on a pile of charred logs. A pair of invisible arms caught me.

"Careful." Sirius mumbled from under the cloak. "Don't draw too much attention."

Heart in my throat, I nodded vigorously. I blinked several times to clear the dust and soot from my vision. We were standing in a kitchen, gleaming iron and copper pots hanging from the ceiling by iron pegs. A steaming pot sat on the gas stove, filling the kitchen with the aroma of spiced chicken. My stomach growled in response.

"Missed lunch." I muttered, ignoring the pangs of hunger. I crept through the kitchen, Sirius holding my wrist, leading the way.

"Where is everyone?" I whispered, still surprised to hear Regulus' voice instead of my own.

"Probably at work." Sirius answered softly, pulling me into a long corridor. The walls were covered in depressing dark gray fabric; I wrinkled my nose. The farmhouse that I lived in was wide and filled with spacious rooms and windows to let in the sun. The walls were light and reflected the natural light. This place was clustered, crowded, and dark. I wondered what kind of childhood Sirius and Regulus must have had, growing up in 12 Grimmauld Place.

"This way." Sirius murmured, leading me slowly up a rectangular staircase that wound up four floors. A grand chandelier hung down in the center, unlit.

I was cautious of every step, every moment, but still flinched every time the old floorboards groaned under my weight. Sirius pressed on, invisible, but still guiding me. I swallowed hard, trying to fight down the rising sense of panic. What would happen if we were caught? Did Sirius have the kind of parents who would hurt their son if he showed up home, alone and uninvited?

I noticed that we were passing countless portraits of what must have been Sirius's family members. Most of them were dozing, taking a noontime nap. On the third landing there was a huge, ugly tree with still, fabric faces sewn into the walls. Names were written in elegant calligraphy below each of them. I paused, giving a start when I saw that some of them were cruelly blacked out.

"Come on." Sirius urged. "My dad's study is this way."

"Wait." I leaned forward, intrigued. "What happened to these?"

Sirius let out a sigh. "They're family members that have been cut off of the family tree."

I narrowed my eyes. "Wait… who is this? Narcissa? Wait a second… Is this the same Narcissa that's going out with Lucius Malfoy?"

"The same." Sirius said, sounding annoyed. "Come on."

"Hold on. Who's Andromeda?" I said, halting again.

Sirius let out a gusty sigh. "She's my cousin. My mother's brother's daughter."

"Why is her face blacked out?"

"Because she married a Muggleborn. Come on. We're wasting time playing twenty questions on my family tree."

But I was completely captured by the sprawling tree of Sirius's family members. "I didn't realize how big your family was."

I could practically see Sirius rolling his eyes. "Yes, the noble and ancient House of Black." He said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

I could feel him tugging my wrist now, even though he was completely covered by the Invisibility Cloak. He dragged me away down another hallway and stopped before a dark, formidable oak door.

"Password." The door said in a stern voice.

"_Repugno gemino_." Sirius said, and the door creaked open.

"Thought you said passwords were overrated." I said dryly as I walked across the threshold.

Immediately, a scream split the air. It was so overwhelming and horrible that I bent down into a cringe, covering my ears, which failed to drown out the awful sound.

_"Muffliato!_" I cried, pointing my wand into the office. "_Silencio!_"

The screaming abruptly cut off. There was the sound of footsteps coming up the flights behind us. Quickly.

"Act natural!" Sirius urged, and fell silent.

Mouth dry, heart hammering in my chest, I stood perfectly still as a man who greatly resembled Sirius and Regulus pounded up the last few steps and stopped. He narrowed his gray eyes – precisely the same shade of steel as his sons – as he saw me. I trembled.

"Regulus?" The man said in a deep voice. "_You _set off the Caterwauling Charm?"

"F-father." I stammered, my mind whirring desperately. _Be natural! Act like Regulus! Not yourself! _"I was just… I was looking for something."

Mr. Black's brows drew together. "What on earth are you looking for, boy?"

"A book." I lied, swallowing against the aching dryness in my throat. "For school."

"Did you get sent home early?" Mr. Black said, frowning. "Are you ill? Are you in trouble? I thought we would have received an owl."

"I just wanted to say hello." I made up. "I wanted to get a book too. Sorry."

Mr. Black looked baffled. He was wearing all black, a silver wedding band glinting dully on his left hand. Though he looked very much like his sons, there were lines and creases of age on his face, and there was a terrible scar running down the length of his right cheek that disappeared down his neck. I clenched my wand tightly, wondering if this was the wizard who Sirius had learned the Unbreakable Vow from.

"I don't suppose Dumbledore knows you're here." Mr. Black said finally.

"No, I don't reckon he does." I answered immediately. "I won't be here long."

Mr. Black looked away, down at a spot somewhere in the house that I couldn't see. A muscle jerked in his cheek. "Alright. Just be quick. I don't want him or his followers watching our house."

My stomach clenched horribly, as if I had suddenly swallowed a huge chunk of ice. "Dumbledore's watching us?" I said without thinking.

Mr. Black snapped his head toward me sharply, and I wondered if he knew it wasn't really Regulus Black, but an impostor, that only disguised herself as his youngest son.

"Just be quick, Regulus." Mr. Black said quietly, and turned his back. He walked back down the stairs, at a much easier lope than before.

"That was close." Sirius breathed. There was a slight tremor to his voice that I pretended not to hear.

"Great." I whispered back. "Come on."

Sirius swept in after me. He discarded the Cloak, to my utter indignation. "Put that back on!" I hissed.

"Disillusionment Charm." Sirius said breezily. "My dad's got his office so charmed and protected… only family can get through. And certain special guests, by appointment only." He nodded meaningfully to a sign hanging on the door. "That's why the Caterwauling Charm went off. I forgot. He must have tightened his security since Christmas holiday."

"You don't say!" I snapped. "Come on, let's get what we came for and get out of here."

"Sounds good to me." Sirius said, striding over to his father's desk. Several portraits hung on the wall, each of various members of his family. There was only one of Sirius, and it was in a family portrait, of him, his father, Regulus, and a woman who could only be his mother. The photo was shot in black and white. None of them looked very happy, except for Sirius, who gave a sudden goofy face in the midst of the seriousness. I snickered.

"Told you I was the black sheep of the family." He said breezily, walking over to the impressive mahogany desk.

"Won't that thing be covered in charms and protective spells?" I said doubtfully as Sirius stood behind the desk.

"If we can get past the door's protections, I'm sure he didn't bother with charming or cursing anything else in here." Sirius replied, seeming way too comfortable. _This is his house_, I reminded myself, _he grew up here. He knows it far better than I do._

Still nervous, I watched as Sirius yanked open a drawer and began sifting through it. He paused and looked up. "What are you doing?" He demanded, making me jump. "Keep looking!"

Turning my back hastily, I obeyed and strode over to one of the wall-length bookshelves and quickly scanned the titles of the books. I flinched and winced at every bang Sirius made.

"Won't he come running and try to find out what the noise is?" I said, worried.

"Of course not. Dad's got this whole room soundproofed, among other things." Sirius muttered ominously. "Keep looking."

I saw several books and a few mysterious objects of worth to Mr. Black, but nothing jumped out at me. On the walls were several framed certifications and degrees. A few caught my eye, written in elegant black calligraphy.

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**This is to certify that  
Orion Phineas Black**

**has complied with all the requirements for  
Seven O.W.L.S. and Seven N.E.W.T.**

**Class of 1946**

And just below that,

This award is presented to

Orion Phineas black

For twenty years

Of outstanding service

to the ministry of magic

1950-1970

_Minister of magic, Eugenia Jenkins_

I returned to the desk to help Sirius look. He was watching me from the corner of his eye.

"I know you're really Amber." Sirius said after a moment. "But it's really strange to see you as Regulus."

"Sorry, I can't really help that at the moment." I said dryly. "Keep looking, remember?"

Sirius stopped abruptly, smacking his palm to his forehead. "Of course! We're magic folk!" He pulled out his wand. "_Accio file!"_

There was a loud clattering sound, and a black box – a perfect square – zoomed out of the depths of the bottom of the drawer Sirius was looking through. Sirius snatched it and planted it on the desk. "It's like a Rubix cube. Look."

Sure enough, the moment his fingers had touched the box, an array of colors had appeared. But instead of the bright, sunny colors that Muggles used, these colors were poisonous, sinister. Slytherin's colors.

Sirius twisted and turned his fingers and the cube, but it failed to open. "Come on." He growled. "Open!"

The cube remained indifferent. "Let me try." I said, and took the cube from him. Sirius lifted a brow as I moved the cube in a flurry of hand and finger movements, but again, nothing happened.

"Maybe we're doing it wrong." I muttered.

"You don't say!" Sirius snapped. "We're running out of time."

Glaring at him, I tried to think of a solution. We hadn't come this far to be bested by a simple black box. "Maybe we solved it, but it needs a final push. Try speaking in your dad's voice."

Giving me a doubtful look, Sirius pointed his wand at his throat and muttered, _"Imickiate." _

"Open." He said in his father's voice.

The cube glowed golden through the cracks in the colored tiles. It gave a little shudder and then the top slid off onto the table top.

I exchanged a nervous look with Sirius. Wand out, I leaned over the top of the box carefully, heart pounding again, making my hands tremble. _"Lumos_."

The light of my wand's tip illuminated the contents of the box. The light reflected off the face of a golden locket, an intricate S inlaid with countless tiny emeralds glinting in the iridescent light. Sirius picked it up carefully and held it in his palm.

"It's kind of ugly." He observed. "Heavy, too."

He passed it to me after a moment. I examined it, holding the tip of the wand close to the locket. It was gaudy and clearly very old. It was something I would have expected to see at a flea market, or yard sale.

"It looks like a cheap imitation of a Rolex." I remarked, placing it on the tabletop.

"Maybe." Sirius said dubiously. "What's a Rolex?"  
"A watch. My Grandpa wears one. He's a Muggle. His is real gold, but a lot of them are imitations. Fake, cheap stuff. This seems like a knockoff of some kind. I'd never wear it, even if it was a real one."

Sirius was making a weird face. In spite of the gravity of the situation, he burst out laughing. My mouth dropped open, holding my wand in a combative position. "What's _wrong _with you?" I demanded, shocked and thrown off guard. "Have you gone mad?"

"I'm sorry!" Sirius laughed. "I just can't… it's so funny, hearing you talk like that about jewelry, about a necklace, and yet you look and sound like Regulus…" He wiped a tear from his eyes.

"Yes, well," I snapped, "I've already got a necklace, haven't I? And _you _need to get it together. The clock's ticking and this is serious, Sirius!"

Sirius chuckled again and cleared his throat. "Right. Where were we?" He was still smirking, but at least he wasn't laughing anymore.

"These." I said tartly, picking through the simple assortment in the box. I pulled out a tattered old black and white photo that was so old that the person in it was gray and faded. I let out a gasp as I recognized the face.

"This is Phineas Nigellus Black!" I exclaimed. "The worst Headmaster of Hogwarts in its entire history!"

"Yeah, well, thanks." Sirius laughed. "He's my ancestor. Great-grandfather, actually."

Heat bloomed in my cheeks. I put the photo down, blushing hotly. "I'm sorry." I managed, mortified.

Sirius waved me off. "Don't even worry about it. Just keep working."

We picked through a few more mundane items, like a simple gold ring with some sort of foreign language scrawled across the inside in black, a tube of ancient lipstick, and a wand, broken in two. The unicorn tail hair still hung the two halves of wood together by the thinnest strand.

"What _is _this stuff?" I muttered, pawing through it.

"Stuff that my dad doesn't want anyone else to see or know about." Sirius said darkly, his hand freezing over the latest items. "I found what we came here for."

Palms slick with sweat, I watched as Sirius lifted a small manila folder out of the cube. The end was already open. He tipped the contents out. A thick leaflet of paper lay flat on the table.

On the side, the manila envelope read, **TO BE WATCHED.**

I gave Sirius a nervous look.

"They're blank." Sirius announced after a moment.

"No, they aren't." I said. "I guarantee it."

I tapped the top of the stack, hands still shaking. "Reveal your secrets." I glanced at Sirius. "What was that spell that James used to open the map?"

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good?" He said, and words bloomed across the blank pages of the pile.

"No way." I breathed, my eyes traveling hungrily over the top sheaf of paper. "There must be some kind of mischievous magic on them. The same kind of magic must be in the phrases." I nudged the first page at Sirius, which was loaded with information and a picture of a grizzled old man with piercing blue eyes, who, with a clench of my stomach, shared Dumbledore's last name.

Dumbledore, A.

Blood Status: Half blood  
Status of Family: No wife or children. Parents and younger sister deceased. Brother, Albus Dumbledore, lives and is currently Headmaster of Hogwarts. Estranged.

Security Status: Low risk  
Other Information: Unknown

With shaking hands, I showed Sirius the paper. The photograph of the man who looked like Dumbledore was not smiling and looked grim.

"What _is _this?" I said in a half-strangled voice. "Is the Ministry keeping tabs on us?"  
"Yeah." Sirius replied grimly, pointing to the fancy, unmistakable embossed emblem of the Ministry of Magic printed across the top of the page. Just below it, a red stamp reading 'CONFIDENTIAL' blared across the page.

"This is a huge file, Sirius." I said softly. "How many people are in here?"

"Maybe the whole wizarding community?" He guessed. "Or maybe just people Dad was interested in. He could have had them assigned to him from the Ministry."  
"I don't think so." I said slowly. "I think these are people of interest that your dad wanted to keep tabs on personally. Without authorization. I think he handpicked these."

A muscle jerked in Sirius's cheek, but he didn't argue. He didn't agree either.

I handed Sirius half of the stack. "Remember, we just want Folsom's file. No one else."

"We might as well." Sirius said bitterly. "We might not ever get this chance again. We could take a few more. Like Snivellus."

"_Don't _call him that!" I flashed.

"Fine. _Snape_. I wonder what _his _family life is like." I was surprised at the venom in Sirius's voice, the clear disgust and disdain.

"I don't understand why you hate him so much." I muttered, sorting through as quickly as possible. Dozens of unfamiliar witches and wizards flashed by my vision as I quickly scanned each name. The stack, oddly enough, wasn't alphabetized. _Probably to make it harder to someone trying to steal._ I thought, with a cold rush of guilt. _Which is exactly what we're doing_.

"Amber." Sirius said. "I found it."

But I wasn't listening. Staring up at me, with a wistful smile, was Virginia.

Sirius shook my arm, trying to snap me out of my trance. But there she was, tangible on the page just as she had been in life. I touched it gingerly, my head pounding so hard I was sure it would split down the middle and crack me wide.

"His name is Mackenzie Folsom, right?" Sirius urged. "Amber! Hello?"

"Look at this." I whispered, holding up the page. "Why would they have her in the file? She's dead. She can't… she's not a threat!"  
And she never was. Not in life, and not in death. But here was the page, and here was her picture. And instead of just a simple snapshot of her face, there was more. Slandering her image and leaving a sour taste in my mouth was a large red X over the entire picture.

Tears blurred my vision. I quickly slipped the page into my robe, and with even greater shock, found my father's face staring up at me from the page below.

I reached down to grab it, but Sirius blocked my hand. I glared at him through my sheen of tears.

"You can't take them." He said softly. "If we take too many, they'll know something's up. You have to put her page back."

"It's disgusting!" I blurted. "They can't have Virginia! What if this was Regulus's file? What if it was_ his _body in the ground and _his _file in the folder? Would you leave it too, or would you take it so that they can't keep studying him like some… some… cadaver?"

Maybe it was what I said, or maybe it was the fact that right now, I looked and sounded just like his little brother because of the Polyjuice Potion. Sirius stared into my eyes for another long moment, then broke away. "Fine." He muttered. "But nothing else. You can look, but we got what we came for."

I shut my eyes tightly, feeling two beads of tears roll down my cheeks like two hot comet trails. I didn't want to believe him, I didn't want to accept his logic and his reasoning. But he was right… if we took anything else, they'd know it was us. If all five files of the Harkstone family turned up missing, it would extremely easy for Mr. Black to trace it back to one of us. And judging by Sirius's loaded comments about his family's involvement with dark magic, it would be a grisly punishment for whoever Mr. Black identified – whether correctly or falsely – as the thief.

I scanned through the files of the rest of my family – Dad, Mum, me, and Naomi – and gritted my teeth hard. I forced myself to look away and follow Sirius's example of carefully putting everything back together where we had found it.

"In order." I murmured as Sirius dumped the locket and ring inside. "As we found it."

"Right." He muttered. "Thank God girls are so clean."

Normally I would have laughed, or even cracked a smile, but the weight of what I'd just discovered, like a hornet's nest underneath my pillow, left me feeling heavy and tired. I just wanted to leave, to pretend that we'd never been here and never witnessed this.

After we'd arranged everything as we'd discovered it, Sirius set the lid on top of the cube, which instantly resealed itself and turned black again. He placed it inside of the top drawer and let it slide shut.

There was no fireplace in the office. The stuffed head of a magnificent elk stared down at me from one of the walls, its large, gleaming black eyes blinking every few seconds.

I noticed a thick tiger pelt rug too, surprised how I hadn't before. In fact, most of the room was decorated with trophies and trinkets and awards. Clearly, Mr. Orion Phineas Black was a noteworthy figure in the community and in his life. An overacheiever, probably overcompensating for something. Maybe, like me, he hadn't been loved enough by his mother as a child. Or perhaps he had gone through a tragedy, like lose a sibling. Or maybe he was just the kind of person who was born lucky.

"Dad travels a lot." Sirius said, following my gaze. His eyes lingered on the crest of Slytherin, hung next to the portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black. "My family is very proud to be have been in Slytherin. I'm the first and only one in our entire genealogy to be Sorted into something else."

"I know the feeling." I said, remembering my own father's drunken outburst and how he'd revealed his true feelings on my Sorting into Ravenclaw. My mother had always made it clear how disappointed she was that I wasn't in Hufflepuff.

"I guess we have more in common than I thought." Sirius sighed, folding the file in his belt. "Come on. Let's get out of here before the Polyjuice Potion wears off."

"Good idea." I agreed, wanting to leave this study full of secrets, death, and dark magic. "You'd better put that Cloak back on."

Sirius pulled out the Invisibility Cloak and disappeared underneath it. I wandered out of the study, being careful to take my time and not creak the steps. I didn't want to alert anyone that we were leaving.

I had almost reached the fireplace when there was a faint _pop_. I froze, hand automatically reaching for my ash wand, when one of the ugliest creatures I had ever seen appeared before me.

"Master Regulus!" The thing croaked happily. "Master Regulus has come home to visit Kreacher!"

"What?" I spluttered, hardly believing this thing could speak, let alone identify emotion. His huge bat-like ears flapped as he jumped up and down in delight. He wore a dirty rag around his middle like a loincloth, and huge folds like elephant skin hung on his small frame. I recognized him as a house-elf, but I had never, ever seen a picture of one so old.

The house elf, Kreacher, bowed deeply in respect. He was almost smiling, like a dog trying to show its teeth in a happy expression, but it was grotesque and a little scary. He was missing most his teeth and his gums were spotted black and yellow with age. He smelled like a pile of dirty laundry that had been wet and left in a cellar, forgotten for a month or two.

But he seemed delighted to be in the presence of Regulus – of me. So I forced a smile and tried to remember how to behave around animals like back home on the farm. _Speak and act cautiously, but don't let them know you're afraid._

"Hello, Kreacher." I said, shocked at my voice, Regulus's voice, and realized with a faint flicker of hope that I might actually be able to get out of this without tipping him off.

Kreacher beamed – sort of- and hopped towards the lower landing. "Come, Master Regulus!" He croaked. "Come downstairs into the kitchen! Kreacher will prepare Master Regulus's favorite – beef chili – and some tea!"

"Oh." I said awkwardly, as Sirius nudged me hard. "Um, no thanks, Kreacher. I can't. I just came here to pick up something from my room."

Kreacher's face fell. "Master Regulus is leaving already?" He looked so dejected that I almost wanted to stay. But Sirius nudged me again and I remembered the Polyjuice Potion and how little time I had left with it.

"If that is what Master Regulus wishes." Kreacher said solemnly. "Kreacher has missed his Master Regulus very much this year since Master went off to school. His Mistress is very pleased that Master Regulus has restored the pride and joy to the House of Black by being Sorted into Slytherin House. Mistress Black even told Kreacher that she wishes that Sirius would not return home this summer holiday."

Sirius gave a low growl of anger, but Kreacher was either too deaf or too happy to notice. "Please, won't Master Regulus have a spot of lunch before he returns to school?"

"I… um… I'm really sorry Kreacher, but I can't. Professor Folsom will be missing me. I've got a class with him in less than an hour."

"Oh, I don't think I'll miss you." Said a horribly familiar voice. Because I had been so focused on getting away from Kreacher without upsetting him, I hadn't noticed another figure slowly come up the stairs behind him. Tall, cold, and pale, he gazed at me with those blue eyes of his – chips of ice. I quickly threw up a wall in a desperate effort to keep him from reading my thoughts, from using his skills as a Legilimens.

Professor Folsom pursed his full lips in what was an attempt at a smile. "Why don't you come down into the dining room and let Kreacher prepare you lunch? I'd love to enjoy it with you, Regulus Black. I _insist_."


	26. The House of Black

I wanted to scream. To run. To push past Folsom and sprint back to the fireplace and fling a handful of Floo powder into the hearth and disappear back to Hogwarts. But if I ran now, it would be all over. We would be caught, probably expelled from Hogwarts, maybe even killed here. Folsom was full of threats that I knew he might very well make good on, away from the watchful eyes of Dumbledore and his staff.

I had no choice. I had to play along.

"Of course, sir." I said, trying to hide the quaver in my voice.

Folsom narrowed his eyes, his brows drawing together. "Are you feeling well, Regulus?"

"Just tired." I lied, my mind whirling in a million different directions. Was Sirius working on a plan? Maybe if he was quick enough, he could stupefy Folsom and we could run into the kitchen and get out…

_No_. I thought firmly, _we can't cause a scene. We have to play along and get out of this in a way that doesn't seem fishy!_

A niggling doubt gnawed at my solution. _What good is the plan if Folsom decides to kill you anyway?_

Swallowing hard, I nodded once to Folsom. "Kreacher, I would like a turkey sandwich."

"With chips, Master Regulus?" Kreacher croaked. "Kreacher has prepared chili for Master Regulus, but if he wishes-"

"No no." I said quickly, trying to keep up without giving myself away. "That sounds great, Kreacher."

Folsom turned on his heel and plodded slowly down the stairs. Portraits of witches and wizards' eyes followed us down, looking extremely proud.

"This will do." Folsom said, entering the kitchen and sitting at the head of the table. I quickly copied him at the other end.

Folsom raised a thin brow. "Are you allowed to sit at the front of the table, Regulus?"

Heat rose to my cheeks and I quickly moved. "I'm sorry."

"He knows better." Orion Black said proudly, ruffling my hair and taking my seat. Kreacher bustled around the kitchen, carrying a tray of hot rolls and empty bowls waiting to be filled.

"This is a nice surprise, Regulus." Orion said, smiling. "I hardly see you anymore since you've been off at Hogwarts."

"Sorted into Slytherin, too." Folsom said, eyes gleaming. "You've made your family very proud."

"Indeed." Orion agreed. "Your mother never ceases to sing your praises. We are looking forward to having you return home this summer, son."

"And what about Sirius?" I blurted, instantly regretting my words at the looks of shock and then disdain on the faces of the two men.

"He has to come back, I suppose." Orion said, scratching his chin. "Of course, he hasn't made your mother very happy, with all of his Gryffindor paraphernalia littering his bedroom… he must have put a Permanent Sticking Charm on everything, Kreacher can't get anything down."

"Sounds like he's happy where he is." I said, trying to sound casual, but this remark drew even more shocked looks from Folsom and Mr. Black.

"Are you feeling well, son?" Orion asked, looking slightly worried. "You're talking very strange."

"Yes, you are." Folsom said heavily, staring at me without a hint of emotion.

I felt a trickle of sweat slide between my shoulder blades. I swallowed hard against my dry throat. "Well, I mean, he's still a useless git, but he is rather good at Quidditch. He and that Potter. Walking around the school like they own the place. Sickening, really. I guess I'm just happy to be away from it all."

This answer seemed to pacify them. I felt for my ash wand in my pocket slowly, pursing my lips, wondering how long it would take me to create a diversion against the two and escape with Sirius in the fireplace.

_Just be patient_. I thought desperately. _Sirius won't leave me here alone. He'll escape with me, when the time is right._

Kreacher slid bowls of hot chili in front of each of us. It smelled delicious and bubbled quietly.

"Wonderful, Kreacher." Orion said brusquely. He took a spoonful and nodded approval.

"Kreacher." Folsom said after a moment, "I need more drink."

"Of course, Sir." Folsom croaked, pouring a bottle of red wine into Folsom's half-empty glass. He sipped and stared at me again. "Aren't you hungry, Regulus?"

I watched the red liquid settle back into the cup. It was sluggish and sticky-looking. I narrowed my eyes, trying to smell the substance, but I couldn't detect anything but the hearty aroma of beef chili sitting below me.

I picked up a spoon and ate obediently. It was very good, but I could feel my stomach lurching already. I was a vegetarian, and even the thought of eating something with a face…

I felt my insides contract, and I barely managed to swallow my mouthful. I could feel it being tossed around in the sour ocean of my stomach. I willed myself not to vomit.

"Folsom, tell me," Orion purred, "How is my son doing in your classes?"

"We've been over this, Orion," Folsom sighed, "He's doing excellently. He has all the makings of an Auror."

"I heard that the initiation was going perfectly." Orion said happily, eating another spoonful of chili. "But it was interrupted by some Mudblood girl?"

I nearly choked on my second hesitant spoonful. I stared at Mr. Black, appalled at such language.

"_Don't draw attention to yourself!" _Sirius hissed in my ear, so that I almost jumped. "_Remember that you're supposed to be Regulus, not Amber! Just hold it together until I can think of something!_"

"Think fast." I muttered quietly, clearing my throat loudly.

"What was that girl's name again?" Orion said, frowning.

"Lily Evans." Folsom replied. "Bright for a Mudblood. Too bright. She and her little friend Miss Amber will need watching, especially that Ravenclaw bitch."

I was so shocked at hearing my name, and then being cussed at, that I could only stare at Folsom, my heartbeat pounding between my ears. I clenched my hands into fists under the table, shaking.

"She's been giving you the run around this year, hasn't she, Mackenzie?" Orion chortled. "Some students are too bright for their own good. Too smart. Getting into trouble, sticking their noses into places they don't belong."

"Back in my day at Hogwarts, they never would have allowed such cheek at teachers." Folsom growled, sipping his wine. "She would have been hanging by her thumbs in the dungeons if the old ways still prevailed."

"You'd know all about the old ways, wouldn't you? Regulus, can you believe that Mackenzie is turning forty-seven years old next year? Amazing!"

But Folsom rolled his eyes. "Age isn't everything, Orion."

Orion smirked. "Easy for you to say. You don't look a day over twenty-five."

"Perhaps that's because I d-"

"Master!" Kreacher croaked, cutting off Folsom. He was bouncing into the room, holding a roll of parchment in his grubby hands. "I have a message! For Master Orion!"

Orion held out his hand, bored, not even looking at Kreacher, who deposited the roll and bowed his way out of the room.

"Do you mind?" Orion asked Folsom, who was moodily sipping his wine again.

"Not at all." Folsom murmured, staring transfixedly out the window, the sunlight reflecting off his glasses. A beam of light spilled down from the window onto the crackling hearth, warm and bright. I longed to move into it, but didn't dare move and attract attention to myself. I needed a diversion.

"Ah," Orion said after a moment, "He's requested a meeting. Tonight. He'd like to know the names of the new recruits."

"Unfortunately," Folsom drawled. "I don't have many new recruits for him. He said that Regulus is too young. He must be sixteen or older in order to be admitted into the closest circle of his followers."

"But Regulus is a brilliant young mind!" Orion protested. "He needs cultivating! And who better to do it than him… His values on blood status, it's perfect. I've never met someone with as much conviction or truth as him."

I almost opened my mouth to ask who 'him' was, but Folsom beat me to it.

"You know the Dark Lord doesn't want children." Folsom sighed. "He says they are too young, and too weak. _Yes, _even Regulus has much to learn." Folsom said, raising his voice when Orion's jaw dropped defiantly. "Which is precisely why I have been appointed by him to teach at Hogwarts. He needs ears and eyes on the inside. He wants children trained young, but not in his service until they are of age."

"But he was already performing great feats of magic when he was fourteen!" Orion bawled. "He isn't being-"

"Careful, Orion," Folsom hissed. "The dog's here."

My nostrils flared as an odor of sweat, blood, and dirt filled the room, overpowering the heavy aroma of chili. My head spun at the potent mixture. It was fleetingly familiar, like a whiff of strong perfume or a rotting pile of garbage… Where had I smelled it before…?

"I heard," a rasping voice said, "that Kreacher was making beef chili."

I couldn't help it – I snapped my head towards the sound, and gasped.

A huge man in his early twenties stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He was enormous and muscular. It looked like he had never missed a day at the gym, if they'd allowed him inside in the first place. His thick beard couldn't hide his long, pointed yellowing teeth. Thick body hair covered his arms and the top of his head, like a mane. But his eyes were the strangest of all: piercing blue, electric, and not human.

"Fenrir!" Orion exclaimed. "Welcome! Please wipe your feet, er, paws, on the mat and come join us at the table."

Fenrir grunted and kicked the thick layers of mud and grime off of his boots and plodded heavily over to the table. He sat down hard on a chair opposite from me, looking annoyed.

"You've been in the forest too long, Fenrir." Orion said, sounding faintly amused. "You look at though you've never used a chair or table before."

"It's been awhile." Fenrir growled, reaching over for my bowl of chili and tipping it back. He slurped it down in a huge gulp while I watched, feeling my eyes bug out of my head. His animal stench engulfed me, overpowering my resolve to stay calm.

"_Keep it together._" Sirius hissed beside me. _"Just a little longer. I think I've got a plan_."

I gave a tiny nod, unable to tear my eyes away from the beastlike man across the table. Kreacher refilled his bowl three times before he finally leaned back, sated.

"Haven't touched a bite, have you?" Fenrir sneered at Folsom, who narrowed his eyes into dark blue slits.

"No fighting in the house, boys," Orion warned, "Walburga will have my head on the wall next if you break another set of her old china."

He gestured to the wall behind me. I uttered another horrified gasp. The shrunken heads of old house elves were mounted on the wall, at least eight of them, all with their eyes closed as if they were merely sleeping.

"Ah, Elladora," Orion said fondly. "She started the whole tradition, you know."

"I didn't come here to hear about your precious family's history." Fenrir growled. "You said you had something important to tell me."

"Mind your manners, Greyback, or I'll have to spank you with a roll of newspaper." Folsom said in a dangerously low voice. Fenrir let out a deep growl.

"Enough!" Orion said suddenly, his voice booming and so sharp that I flinched. His steel-gray eyes were hard as flint. "Enough. It's bad enough that you didn't bother to bathe, Fenrir, and that you decided to drink in my house, Mackenzie. You know Walburga detests the drinking of _that_ in her house."

"I was thirsty." Folsom said loftily.

"I could end that thirst." Fenrir said softly in a rasp. "Permanently…"

Folsom drew back, baring his teeth. I stared at his mouth, at the two clearly defined and pointed canines, just like Fenrir's…

"The point, gents," Orion plowed on, "is that Folsom is having a problem with getting recruits to the Dark Lord. It seems that a few Gryffindors are wandering the corridors at night, and Filch seems to think he is the only staff member qualified to patrol for such a thing."

"Pure idiocy on his part." Folsom breathed venomously.

"So I was _hoping_," Orion said loudly, "that Regulus could get his Mark early."

Fenrir laughed, a bark-like sound. "Even I haven't received my Mark, Orion. The boy will have to wait. Besides, he looks scared to death as it is with just one Death Eater in the room."

I tried not to, but I looked around furtively for any kind of strange marking on any of the men. And what on Earth did "Death Eater" mean?

"Good Lord," Folsom said softly. "Don't tell me Regulus doesn't know."

"He doesn't." Orion said shortly. "We didn't want to tell him until he was old enough. But things have changed. The Dark Lord is on the move. He is rising to power more quickly than any of us thought possible. Mackenzie, he could overthrow the Ministry within five years; take over the whole Wizarding world in ten! And then those Muggles, those dirty blooded mongrels... then they'll really know their places."

"And we can come out of hiding." Fenrir echoed, picking his teeth with his broken nails. They were so covered in filth and grime that they were each circled in black.

I was frozen, paralyzed. These men… Sirius's father… he was talking like he was a madman… like the Dark Lord, this 'Voldemort', was going to rise to power…

"This can't get out now." Folsom said suddenly. "I thought you'd already taken care of Vincent Backe."

"I did." Orion said casually. "I had Macnair dispose of his body. He'll never be seen or heard from again."

"Do you think it's smart to talk about this in front of the boy?" Fenrir said roughly, gesturing to me with his thumb.

Orion raised a brow. "Of course. Regulus isn't like his brother; he's going to join the right cause. He's old enough to know better than him, and he's old enough to _know_." Orion fixed me with a steady stare. "Son," he prompted, "isn't it true that the House of Black is one of the oldest, largest and wealthiest wizarding families in the world?"

I coughed hard, my throat was so dry with terror. "Y-yes."

"And isn't it true that we can trace our noble ancestry back to the Middle Ages?"  
"Yes…" I said desperately, hoping my answer appeased him.

"Our blood is pure." Orion said proudly. "And we must ensure that we stay that way. Our world must be purified. Yes… those Muggles have pushed wizardkind into hiding since the days of King Arthur and Merlin.

"We must do everything we can to purify the world and restore our world into its former glory. That has always been the goal of the House of Black. And that is why we will always support and stand with the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort."

There was an almost manical gleam in his eyes; I felt as if I'd been thrown into a freezing ocean. Every fiber of my being screamed to get up and run from this madness and hatred, but I was frozen. I knew if I moved, the beastly creature – Fenrir Greyback – or Folsom, or maybe even Orion Black himself would spring into action.

_Fenrir Greyback… _Why did that sound so familiar? And that smell…

I felt a sudden grip on my arm. It was Sirius, still hidden under the Invisibility Cloak. _"Don't move, Harkstone. Don't give yourself away._" He whispered.

I almost said _why not _when Fenrir made a sudden move for Folsom's glass of ruby-red wine. Folsom moved with the speed of lightning and snatched it up of his reach. Fenrir bared his vicious teeth. Folsom issued a hiss.

"Get your own, fleabag mutt." Folsom spat in his no-longer silken voice, which had changed to a low growl. Fenrir narrowed his eyes.

"Full moon's not for another week." Fenrir snapped. "Besides, there's nothing quite like drinking blood from the cup… no hair or flesh gets in the way."

I couldn't help my mouth from dropping open in a rush of disgust and horror. _Blood? _That was what was in the cup that Folsom was drinking?!

"Enough!" Orion exclaimed. "You're making my son sick!"

"You've got a werewolf under your roof, what did you expect, Orion?" Folsom retorted hotly. "I could have brought him a snack, that ignorant Ravenclaw whore. I would have ripped out her tongue by now if Dumbledore wasn't poking his gigantic nose around everywhere…"

I felt sicker with each passing second.

"I know her." Fenrir growled, and now I couldn't look away from him; I could only gape at him.

"How so?" Folsom said with a look of disgust on his face. "Has she been wandering in the woods with her freaky little friends of hers? Those Gryffindor boys?"

Fenrir gave a cold laugh. "She hangs around with that lot, yeah. Sirius and Potter gave her quite a run at first. I was hunting for fresh prey not too long ago… she went off on her own in her first year last fall. Dumb little bitch. She almost got pulled in by mermaids. I was going to dive in after her and salvage my waterlogged snack, but then my prodigee intervened."

Folsom's look of disgust instantly evaporated. Now, he looked smug. "Little Remus Lupin? Lyall and Hope's boy?"

"The very same." Fenrir sneered. "He was just a little pup when he was five, but now, he's grown. Dumbledore's let him come to school, and even though I'm sure he's put in safety precautions, it's just a matter of time before he bites someone and carries on my work."

"Attacking a child…" Orion muttered, looking slightly disturbed.

"Get them while they're young." Fenrir advised. "Like the Dark Lord says. Convert them and have them rise up as a new generation to turn the tides. My pack has already doubled in size. Most of them are pups. For now. It's all multiplication from here on out. It's just a matter of time. A mathematical certainty."

"I didn't know wolves could do math." Folsom jeered. "Or see colors, or realize the depth of their own stink."

Fenrir leapt to his feet; Folsom remained sitting, watching him with a cold and calculated expression that only a killer could have, a sociopath with no remorse or regret.

"How about I rip out your pretty little throat right now, and we'll see what color it'll be." Fenrir snarled.

"Do me a favor." Folsom said casually. "Hunt down that Harkstone girl and eat her instead."

Fenrir rolled his eyes. "I'll let little Remus Lupin have her as his first snack. I've got bigger fish to fry. Like you."

"Now, boys." Orion said, rising to his feet, wand out. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to take this outside, or leave."

Folsom and Greyback stared at each other for a very long moment. I could feel the tension in the air, crackling like lightning. My heart galloped against my ribcage; my hands were like ice. If they dueled, it would be to kill.

"Run along now, Regulus." Folsom said in a quiet, calm voice, his eyes never wavering from Greyback's. "The adults have some things we need to discuss."

"Y-yes sir," I gasped. Orion gave me a cursory nod and approached the two slowly, and a second later a shield exploded between them. Sirius grabbed my arm while the three all drew out their wands and flung a fistful of green powder into the fire. "McGonagall's Fireplace!" I gasped, and took one last look at the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. Greyback was swiping at Folsom, who dodged every blow effortlessly. Orion Black shouted another spell, and the green fire swept us back into McGonagall's office.

We stumbled out of the fireplace. Sirius tripped over the edge of the silken fabric and tumbled to the ground, exposed. We were alone.

"Amber?" Sirius said anxiously, his gray eyes wide and wary. "Are you alright?"

But I was standing stock-still, shaking hard, hardly noticing as the Polyjuice Potion finally wore off and I stood, a Ravenclaw girl in a Slytherin boy's robes, my dead sister's file stuffed in my pocket. I was remembering the night I had nearly drowned, the mermaids, the hospital wing, and then reading about Charms and Magical Creatures in my room. There had been that smell of wet dog, sweat, and blood.

It had been the exact same smell coming from Fenrir Greyback just a moment ago in the kitchen.

Greyback wasn't lying. He had been preparing to hunt me down, and he had only backed off because he wanted Remus to be the one to finish the kill.

"Come on." Sirius urged, but his voice sounded far away, like it was down a tunnel. He tugged on my wrist, hard. "Come on, Harkstone, we've got to go. They're waiting for us. We've got to tell them everything."

But I was in a fog; saturated by the information that I had just heard. I numbly followed Sirius down the hall, every step reverberating in my bones.

Folsom was drinking blood. At Sirius's house. He was on first-name terms with his dad. A werewolf – the same monster who had attacked Remus as a five year old child, hardly older than Naomi – was under his roof at the _table_. They were all supporting the Dark Lord and talking about Dark Marks and Death Eaters and blood statuses…

"I think I'm going to throw up." I said faintly to Sirius as we reached the bottom level of the castle and stepped out onto green grass.

"Go on, if you need to." Sirius said quickly, glancing around nervously. "But be quick because we need to tell the guys what's just happened."

Nodding slowly, I staggered over to the edge of a stone pillar and retched. The overpowering stench of sweat, blood and dirt lingered in my nostrils, and I vomited again, so hard that tears ran down my cheeks and my nose burned.

When it was over, Sirius handed me a napkin that he conjured out of the air. I wiped my mouth and blew my aching nose and dropped it on the ground next to the pool of sick. "_Incendio_._" _I said in a quavering voice, and walked away with Sirius as the napkin burst into flames.

We walked back down the lake, which was nearly deserted as most students were in class right now. Sirius sat down and then got back up, pacing, chewing his lower lip. I kicked off my shoes and waded up to my knees in the warm lake water, staring at the huge ridges of the mountains, wand out in one hand, ready to defend myself against any mermaids who might come back to try to finish their work from last year.

Greyback had hunted me. He had followed me to the lake and then stalked me into my dorm room. He had backed off so that Remus could kill me or infect me himself.

I tried to process what I had just witnessed, but my mind rejected it. I felt nothing, only cold shock as I tried to fight the reality the truth and justify it with lies.

_Maybe they were Imperiused… maybe I imagined the whole thing… maybe I'm still dreaming…_

I pinched my arm, hard, and winced with pain. I was definitely awake. Unfortunately, that meant I was truly in the throes of dealing with this knowledge and information on the Dark Lord's followers.

Footsteps thundered towards us, but I didn't bother turning around to face them. I knew it was the other Marauders. What was the point of giving them my version of events? Sirius had seen the whole thing. And maybe he had known that these kinds of people – creatures – were in his very house.

"Did you get it?" James panted.

There was a crinkling sound of paper being produced. "Right here. Mackenzie Folsom's file."

"How did it go?" Remus pressed. "Any trouble?"  
"Not really." Sirius said genially. "A few close calls though. We ran into You-Know-Who himself."

There was a collective gasp from the three boys. "You mean you saw…"

"Not Voldemort." Sirius scoffed. "Honestly… no, we ran into Folsom. He was at my house, having lunch with my dad and he invited Regulus, er, Amber, to join him."

"Amber?" Remus said in a strangled voice. "She's alright? Has she been hexed or jinxed?"

"Ask her yourself." Sirius said indifferently, and even though his tone would have normally grated on my raw nerves, I now found myself completely uncaring and immune. What did it matter, in the face of what I had just heard? Folsom really did want me dead… and so did his friend Fenrir. My life was just a gamble, a hunt, to them.

I saw Remus approach me in my peripheral vision. "Amber?" He said softly. "Can you tell me what happened? Are you alright?"

I blinked slowly, suddenly imagining the horrible scene that must have unfolded in little five-year-old Remus's bedroom. A huge, ugly werewolf breaking into his room through the window, climbing in and attacking him, just to get back at his father…

"Amber." Remus shook my arm gently. "Look at me. Come on. You're alright."

I turned slightly and gazed into his face. I could see the long pink and silver scars running down his cheek in a cruel slash-mark, subtle yet still there, for the rest of his life, his entire existence marred by a single act of violence. I could feel my lip trembling, and I knew tears weren't far behind.

"Guys, can you give us a moment?" Remus asked, turning to face James, Sirius, and Peter. "Go and look at the file on Folsom. I need to ask Amber a few things."

"Sure thing, mate." Sirius said, turning to leave.

"Don't kiss too much." James teased, but Sirius tugged him away, Peter tagging closely behind. I watched them through my watery haze of tears as they chose a sprawling beech tree a hundred feet away and spread open the file.

"It's okay, you know." Remus said quietly. "To cry. Or vomit. Whatever you need to do."

"I already did." I whispered, my voice cracking. "I can't…"

"It's alright." Remus murmured, pulling me gently back to the shore and easing me down next to him. I drew my knees forward, leaned my head into my hands, and cried.

Remus inched closer so that he was pressing against me from one side, shoulders touching, legs aligned. He sat there, unmoving, a comforting, stable presence. When I had composed myself, I wiped my eyes with the backs of sleeves, only to have Remus hand me a tissue and smile wistfully.

"Feels just like the train ride here." I murmured, sounding like I had a head cold. I blew my nose and let Remus burn it to cinders.

"Tell me what happened." He said. "Whenever you're ready."

I took a deep breath and plunged into the recent memory. His eyes flickered and his brows drew together when I mentioned Greyback.

"And then there was this." I said, reaching into my pockets and drawing out Virginia's file. I stared at it, her picture smiling up at me.

"She's beautiful." Remus said after a moment. "She looks like you. She has the same features."

"She looks like Dad. She's got his coloring." I touched the photograph. "She would have been a Hufflepuff, I think."

Remus nodded. "She would be proud of you, Amber. I know she would."

Eyes clouding over with tears again, I blinked hard to banish them and I folded the file back into my pocket. "Sirius's dad had this in his drawer."

"I know. I think he's keeping tabs on a little more than he should." Remus looked over at the boys, who were watching us. "Do you think you're ready to face it?"

"I already have." I said heavily. "I just wish… I don't know. I almost wish I hadn't gone."

Remus patted my shoulder. "But it wouldn't have made it any less real. You had to find out, Amber. It's better this way."

I stared at him, unable to disguise my disgust. "Are you saying that I should be _grateful _I went through this? I could have _died_, Remus. I was an inch away from being found out. That Polyjuice Potion had five minutes or less on it, and Folsom was right there, and so was Greyback, and Sirius's dad sounds like he's one of the Dark Lord's most loyal followers and-"

Remus held up a hand for silence, but I plowed on, ignoring him.

"You wouldn't be saying this if you'd gone through it yourself." I said bitterly. "I can't forget what happened. I can't just use a Memory Charm on myself."

"You could, actually," Remus interjected.

"That's not the point. Don't you see? The Dark Lord, this Voldemort, is really trying to overpower the Ministry! He wants to overtake the wizarding world, _our _world, and bring it back to power over the Muggles! He wants to put them back in their place, and I don't think he'll stop there."

"No, I don't think so either." Remus said thoughtfully. "I think he'll go after everyone who isn't pure blood. Muggles, halfbloods, werewolves… I think he's going to cleanse the world of everyone but those he favors."

"So, you mean, he wants to completely take over the world, and then turn it on its head." I echoed hollowly. "He wants a revolution."

Remus was staring fixedly at the center of the rippling lake. "I think it's more than that. He's after something else. I don't think he wants world domination. That would be too easy."

"But he wants control over _something_."

"Hey! Lovebirds! Cool it down, we're coming back!" James shouted obnoxiously as he strolled back, Sirius and Peter in tow.

I rolled my eyes and sniffled, trying to remove any traces of my tears. A muscle jerked in Remus's cheek.

"I hope I haven't interrupted anything." James said cheerfully as he plopped down beside Remus.

"Of course not." I said dryly. "What do you want, James?"

"Sirius has just filled me and Peter in on what happened." James said, his eyes gleaming. "Blimey, I wish I could have been there. You actually _saw _Greyback and Folsom?"

"And had lunch with them." I added darkly.

"She handled it well." Sirius threw in, looking impressed. "But the eye goggling and the mouth hanging open probably didn't help."

"I couldn't help it!" I snapped. "I didn't exactly have an extra Invisibility Cloak to cover myself with!"

"Guys," Remus said warningly, giving Sirius and James heavy looks. "Leave her alone. She's been through a lot today."

"Yeah, but she did it." James said gleefully, waving the file in his hands. "She got the file on Folsom. But I think that what you two heard in Sirius's kitchen was just as good. He was drinking blood, you think?"

"I still think he's a sick piece of work." I muttered darkly, folding my arms around my knees and staring out across the lake. "Even if he's not a vampire."

"There's a lot of scum that pass through our house, I guess." Sirius admitted. "Come on, James, let's read it."

James looked delighted, as if he had just been presented the House Cup. He held it aloft, grinning, adjusting his glasses for good measure. "Here's what it says: _M. Folsom_. But we already know his name, so that's not important."

"Enough commentary." I hissed. "Get on with what's in there."

James rolled his eyes. "So pleasant." He cleared his throat. "_Blood Status: Pure blood. Status of Family: No wife or living children. Family deceased. Close friend of Tom Riddle during his years at Hogwarts. Supportive of Voldemort's ideals. Currently Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Security Risk: High. Other Information: Skilled Legilimens. Born 5 February 1926. Died 11 October 1951…_"

James let his voice drop off. Peter was staring at him with huge blue eyes. I could feel my heart beginning to race again.

"Did you say, 'died'?" I said slowly.

James blinked. "Yeah… that's all it says. I swear." He turned the file around, showing us.

"Bloody hell." Sirius murmured, taking it from James's hands. "Maybe… maybe he _is _a vampire."

I jumped to my feet, my blood pounding so furiously through my veins that all I could see was a shaky haze of rage and hopelessness. I wanted to scream, to pull my hair out, to grab something huge and throw it into the lake. So instead I dragged a hand through my long hair and bit down so hard on my teeth that I could hear them creaking in protest.

"Amber?" Remus said in alarm.

"I _knew _it." I whispered tightly, my voice so thin it could snap. "I _knew _he was a vampire. This whole time… it all makes sense. He must have been turned when he was young. That's why he looks so youthful. He was only twenty five or so. And he _was _drinking blood! Fenrir wanted some, that's why he got so agitated. He's _never _in the sunlight, and he can read minds."

My head was spinning too fast; I shut my eyes and pressed a hand hard to my forehead.

"Even if he _is _vampire, do you really think Dumbledore would have allowed him to teach?" James said uncertainly. "Even Dumbledore isn't that daft."

"He let Voldemort learn at this school, didn't he?" I challenged. "He must have come here, and I bet he was in Slytherin. And I also bet that if he would let a werewolf come here as a student, he'd let a vampire teach."

Remus looked very pale, and very angry.

"How… how dare you." He stammered. "I… I'm not a monster. I'd _never _attack anyone!"

"You might not mean to." I said bitterly, not caring anymore about how my words might sound to him. I had been right, this whole year, and no one had listened or believed me. And here was the proof.

"Easy, Harkstone." James said lowly, Remus's face set in a hard lines. "Low blows aren't cool."

"I've been right this whole time." I lamented. "And he's been singling me out, threatening me, and now he says he wants me dead. And there's nothing we can do about it." I glared down at the file. "This was all for nothing."

Sirius looked up at me steadily, his steel gray eyes surprisingly clear. "Amber."

"What?" I snapped. "And don't call me that. It's Harkstone."

"Right." Sirius said calmly. "D'you have a flask for me?"

The question caught me so off-guard that I could only stare at him, gaping. "I… You… What?"

"A flask." Sirius said simply. "A vial. D'you have one I could borrow?"

I stared at him, struck dumb. I had lost the power of speech.

Remus raised his wand and murmured a spell. A small vial appeared out of thin air, and he reached out and snatched it. He handed it wordlessly to Sirius, while steadfastly refusing to meet my gaze.

Sirius held his own wand to his temple and closed his eyes, grimacing. He pulled his wand away from him and I watched in amazement as a string of silver appeared. Sirius drew his wand to the tip of the vial and I watched as the silver liquid pooled gently inside. He corked it and held it up to me.

I watched him suspiciously. "What was that?"

"It's a memory." Sirius said proudly. "A very recent memory."

"How did you…" I trailed off. In a house like his, it was no wonder he had access to learning spells, advanced and complex ones, that would enable him to siphon his own memories out of his mind. He had been the one to perform the Unbreakable Vow last spring with James. This new spell itself was hardly a surprise.

"Why did you take it out?" I said, incredulous. "What good will that do?"

Sirius looked infuriatingly smug. "Because… we're going to show it to Dumbledore."


	27. Sacked

Sirius rose so quickly that Peter squealed in fright and immediately took off after him. He strode with so much purpose and intention that even James had trouble keeping up. Remus was on his feet, frowning so deeply that his green eyes nearly disappeared.

"Sirius!" He called. "Wait! _Sirius!"_

But Sirius wasn't stopping. He plowed on with such determination that we had no choice. We had to follow him or risk being left behind while he spoke to Dumbledore. Unsure of what he would say to the Headmaster, if he would be stupid enough to tell him what we had just done or _show _him, I jumped up and tore off after him, wand clutched tightly in my right hand.

"Stop!" I half-shrieked, my heart pounding so fast that it constricted my throat. "I'm warning you! Don't make me hex you, Sirius!"

But either Sirius didn't hear me or he ignored me. I stopped and raised my wand high.

"_Stupe-_"

James whirled around and aimed his own wand at me. "_Expelliarmus!"_

My wand flew out of my hand. Remus caught it, suddenly beside me. I stared at both boys, fuming.

"What…? Give me back my wand, Remus!"

"No." Remus said, shaking his head. "Sirius isn't stupid. He won't give you away or turn you in. He isn't a rat."

"But he's going to show him what we just did!" I exploded, fear and anger making my head spin even faster. I fought to keep myself from vomiting again. "I don't want to get expelled for what Potter made me do!"

"I didn't _make _you do anything!" James called, already alarmingly far away, running after Sirius. "You agreed to it, Lionheart!"

"_My name is Harkstone!" _I snarled, tearing after them while Remus tried to stop me. I wrenched my arm away and quickened my pace.

"_Petrificus Totalus!" _James yelled, aiming a well-cast spell at me. I froze as if turned to stone and topped over onto the slope of the ridge leading up to the castle. Remus was at my side, keeping me from falling.

I was fuming. If Potter hadn't hexed me, I would have been on his heels. I was so mad that I didn't know who I wanted to beat up more; Potter, or Black.

"Easy, Amber." Remus muttered, pulling out his willow wand and waving it over me. But nothing happened. Remus swore.

"There's no counter curse for this one… Damn. Just wait a few minutes."

I glared up at him, every fiber of my being screaming for movement, but I was totally paralyzed. Nearly five minutes went by before I could feel my limbs again, the curse wearing off.

"I'm going to _kill _them!" I vowed, rising to my feet again and charging up the ridge.

Remus kept even pace. "Amber, they aren't going to turn you in. This isn't a set up. Trust me. Sirius and James wouldn't do that to you. You're one of us, remember? A Marauder."

"Oh, shut up." I snapped. "Don't defend those little turncoats. I'll _kill _Potter for cursing me like that! Just wait until I get my wand back!"

I was out of breath by the time we climbed back to the castle. I hurtled inside, pushing rudely and carelessly through throngs of students, who gave me annoyed looks or even yelled as I passed by.

"Sorry, sorry." Remus apologized profusely and quickly as he tailed me. I bumped hard into a girl my age, who cried out in pain.

"Hey!" She yelped. "Watch it!"

I skidded to a halt. Angelina Azadian was staring down at me, her gray eyes huge. "Amber?" She said, clearly startled. "Where are you going? Are you alright?"

"I'm going to kill James Potter." I informed her, gritting my teeth. "Have you seen him?"

"Kill James Potter?" another familiar voice asked. Lily edged her way around two other girls and stood by Angelina's side, looking surprised and intrigued. "What happened?"

I could only think about Sirius and James and Peter, all probably long-inside of Dumbledore's office by now. I shifted on my feet, torn between my loyalty to my friends and wanting to preserve my innocence.

"He stole Amber's wand." Remus informed them gravely.

Angelina clapped a hand over her mouth. Lily's eyes were the size of dinner plates.

"He did _what?" _Lily gasped.

"Stole my wand!" I roared. "I swear, when I get my wand back, I'm going to turn him into a girl and… no, wait, I'm going to make him _think _he's a girl, yes, and make him wear makeup and frilly pink robes and use a squealy, little girl voice…"

Lily and Angelina looked positively alarmed at my downspiraling hold on sanity. Remus grimaced soberly.

"She's had a long day." He said.

"Clearly." Angelina murmured.

"Here." Lily said, thrusting out her own willow wand. "Take it and get back your own. And when you do… give James an extra good hex for me."

I gaped at her, momentarily stunned, and then took the proferred wand from her hand. Angelina looked deeply impressed.

"Thank you." I said shortly, and took off towards Dumbledore's office.

Remus groaned. "You may as well have just signed James's death certificate!"

But I wasn't listening. The blood was pounding in my ears like a war drum. The throng of students passing to their next classes was thinning as I raced up four flights of stairs and skidded to a halt, breathless, outside of Dumbledore's office. The stone gargoyle stared down at me impassively. I had a fleeting flashback of being escorted here by Professor McGonagall a year ago, meeting Dumbledore face to face and having my father tell me that my sister was dead.

Swallowing hard and panting, I gazed up hopelessly at the immobile statue. "Fizzing Whizbee."

Nothing.

"Acid Pops?"

"Hang on." Remus said, appearing doggedly at my side again. "I can't let you go in there to kill James."  
"I'm not going to _kill _him." I corrected. "Just make him pay."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Don't make me curse _you_."

I gave him my nastiest glare. "You wouldn't. You're my friend."

"Friends defend other friends." Remus said harshly. "Don't overreact. We aren't kids anymore. We need to handle this calmly and carefully."

"Oh, enough!" I snapped. I pointed Lily's wand at the gargoyle and said, "_Alohamora!"_

Nothing. The gargoyle almost looked smug.

"You can't get in without the password." Remus interjected. "And only the teachers know it."

"Obviously!" I exploded. "Otherwise we would be inside by now!"

Remus's green eyes flashed. For a split second, I recognized Fenrir Greyback's lethal, animal look in his gaze, but then it was gone, and Remus jerked his head away.

"We need to wait for a teacher." Remus growled. "Or until they come out."

"I can't wait that long!" I retorted. "They're in there right now, incriminating us both, and I will _not _be expelled from Hogwarts! Not for this!"

A cloying, sweet scent, like rotting lilacs, swept into the corridor. Goosebumps swept over my flesh. I had smelled this overpowering odor, just minutes ago in a place miles from here…

"Trying to break into the Headmaster's office?" a high-pitched, cold voice intoned.

I snapped my head around, coming face to face with the very man who had just offered my neck to a savage werewolf not even an hour ago. I stared into his dark blue eyes, soulless and blank. Remus let out a low growl.

"We need to talk to the Headmaster." I said, sounding much calmer than I felt. I could feel my insides writhing, knotting themselves with fear. Folsom's face was expressionless as he surveyed me. His gaze flickered to Remus, who bared his teeth in retaliation. Folsom's brows lifted in surprise.

"Well, well, well… looks like the pup's growing." Folsom breathed, eyes narrowing to slits. "Better calm down, Lupin, or it'll be the kennel for you instead of Hogwarts."

"What did you say to me?" Remus snarled, face pale.

"You heard me." Folsom said casually.

I shoved Folsom, hard, before I could think better of my actions. Clearly, this had been the last thing Folsom was expecting, because he actually stumbled, completely taken aback.

He lifted his gaze to mine, his blue eyes suddenly the color of a blank, empty sky. His long blackthorn wand emitted red sparks from the end.

"You'll pay for that one, Miss Amber." Folsom whispered, raising his wand to strike. Remus and I reacted with lightning speed.

"_Expelliarmus!" _Remus yelled, just as I shouted, _"Stupefy!"_

Folsom whipped his wand to deflect, and a shield burst between him and our combined spells. His eyes blazed with cold fury.

"Enough!" He snarled. Folsom grabbed for me, but Remus actually snarled and lunged for Folsom. Fearing for Remus, I aimed Lily's wand at Folsom and screeched, "_Stupefy!"_

Folsom jerked hard to avoid it, but the red burst of light hit him in the shoulder. Remus punched him square in the jaw. Folsom staggered back, but he wasn't bleeding. Instead, a line of dust trickled down from a cut in his lip. He stumbled back, half-slumped, holding his jaw with his good hand. The other one, the one I had stunned, hung limply at his side.

"I'll kill you both!" Folsom snarled, all control gone. "You brats have no idea what kind of person you're dealing with, no idea at all! Do you know the kinds of wizards I am close to? The kinds of things I am capable of? Do you?!"

I held onto my wand tightly, pointing it straight at his face, arm trembling hard. Strands of hair from Folsom's normally immaculate ponytail hung around his face. He had completely lost control.

"Have you ever heard of the Unforgivable Curses?" breathed Folsom. "Have you ever wanted to experience them?"

"You're crazy." Remus snapped. "Don't make me hurt you."

Folsom gave a manical laugh. "Do you honestly think that I'm threatened by a _child_? A second year _werewolf?_" He jabbed his wand at us, deranged. "I'll demonstrate! _Cru-_"

"What's going on here?"

The three of us whirled around, caught. A woman with brown hair and dazzling green eyes was staring at the scene before her; two second years aiming their wands at a disarrayed teacher. A long, single scar ran diagonally down her face, from her right eyebrow across her nose to just over the corner of her left mouth. She was in her late forties or early fifties, her hair graying slightly. Her scar marred her otherwise lovely face. Unlike Remus's usually subtle scars, her single mark was very noticeable, and made it almost impossible to focus on anything else.

Her thin brows were drawn together in concern. Folsom was trying to pull himself together. He straightened his back, lifting his chin a notch and carefully reassembling his disastrous hair.

"It's been awhile, Willow." Folsom said quietly, brushing off his cloak, surveying her up and down.

I watched as the woman – Willow – raised a brow. "Yes, it has, Mackenzie." She said coolly.

Folsom looked angry again, but composed himself, stowing his wand. "I am called Professor Folsom now."

"I see." Willow said shortly. She looked him up and down, and then trained her green gaze on Remus and I. She raised a thin brow. "Are you two alright?"

"They're fine." Folsom answered immediately, but Willow ignored him.

"We're fine." I lied. I chewed my lip, and decided to be truthful with this stranger, who had made Folsom snap back to reality. "Actually, we're not. This predator just attacked us and almost used the Cruciatus Curse on us."

"She's lying." Folsom burst. "She's a dirty little liar, Willow, she has been giving me trouble since my first day here-"

"Enough, _Mackenzie._" Willow interrupted coldly, turning her gaze on him. I was afraid for her, that Folsom would try to attack her too, but he fell silent with a filthy look that conveyed only the darkest intentions.

"This is clearly a matter for Professor Dumbledore." Willow decided. She regarded me and Remus again. "I will escort you personally." She gave Folsom a cursory nod. "You as well."

Looking mutinous, Folsom gave a curt nod and approached the statue.

"Pixie puffs." Willow said clearly, and the gargoyle leapt aside.

"Go on." She said brusquely, and Folsom walked up the spiral staircase. She glanced at me and Remus. "Come along. Follow me."

Remus and I exchanged a look. I bit my lip and followed Willow, wondering who this woman was, and how much power she possessed in order to cow Folsom into submission.

The spiral staircase wound up into an expansive, vaulted-ceiled office. I had been in this room only once before, and the flood of memories made tears smart in my eyes. I lowered my gaze to the ornate red carpet and clenched my jaws shut, my right hand gripping Lily's willow wand tightly.

"Professor Dumbledore." Willow said in a clear, strong voice. "I believe these two need to speak to you."

"Ah, Willow." Dumbledore said affectionately. "Yes, of course… but, one moment. Sirius has just finished convincing me of how important it is that I observe this memory of his."

I looked up. Dumbledore was behind his desk, Sirius, James, and Peter all standing before him. They turned to look at us. Sirius and James met my gaze. I stared back, lifting my chin defiantly.

"Sir, please," Folsom said smoothly, striding forward. "That memory is nothing more than a fake. It is slander, intended to make me look bad."

Dumbledore looked mildly curious. "And what do you mean by that, Professor? Do you know what is in the contents of this vial?" He held the small glass bottle, the silvery clouds of Sirius's memory swirling about.

Folsom looked taken aback, but recovered quickly. "Professor, you know what these boys are like. They enjoy causing trouble and mischief, especially in my class. This one," he said, jerking his head towards my direction without looking at me,"has no respect for me whatsoever. She is disobedient, insubordinate, insolent, and has no respect for my privacy."

"I have already told you my feelings about your complaints concerning Miss Harkstone." Dumbledore answered calmly. "And I will not talk about her as if she is not here."

Heat crept into my cheeks. Remus nodded in agreement. "Sir, please, we need to speak with you." Remus insisted.

Dumbledore looked amused. "I am delighted to be in such demand. Four requests for private audiences, all before supper." He clasped his hands together. "Well, I shall deal with this in matters of importance." He looked to Sirius and James. "We shall start with you."

"Professor Dumbledore-" Folsom interjected.

"And you next, Professor Folsom." Dumbledore said coolly.

Folsom shut his mouth. I grinned at Remus.

Dumbledore walked over to a large stone basin with runes scrawled deeply into the rock. It looked ancient. Dumbledore unstopped the cork and tipped the contents into the Pensieve.

"Professor, wait." I said suddenly, the blood draining from my face as I realized what could happen to me if Dumbledore watched this memory. Depending on how far back it went, he might see me drink Polyjuice Potion illegally to transform into Regulus Black. I would be expelled. I couldn't let that happen. "I don't want you to see that."

Dumbledore spread his hands. "I would like the full versions of events that have transpired today, Miss Harkstone. Please be patient. Willow?"

"Yes, sir." Willow said quietly, brandishing her wand, eyeing all of us in turn.

Dumbledore nodded and sank his face into the swimming surface of the Pensieve. Folsom took a step towards him, looking furious, but Willow gave her wand a casual flick and Folsom froze in place, grimacing in apparent pain.

"You heard the Headmaster." She said simply.

Mere moments later he resurfaced, blinking slowly, looking grim. Folsom looked extremely apprehensive.

"I would like Sirius, Professor Folsom, and Willow to remain with me. The rest of you, wait outside the door. And please, don't try to eavesdrop. I already have several enchantments preventing such attempts." He winked at James, who grinned back shamelessly.

We filed out of the room. I glanced back nervously as the door slipped quietly shut.

"I'm going to kill you." I muttered to James as he produced his wand and waved it lazily in the air.

"You can kill me after we hear what Dumbledore is going to say to them." James responded, conjuring four crystal goblets out of thin air. He caught two of them with deft agility that only a skilled Quidditch player could possess. Remus grabbed the other two and handed one to me. James passed the fourth to Peter, who looked frightened and awed.

"Didn't you hear Dumbledore?" I said irritably. "He said we can't eavesdrop."

"Do you honestly think they aren't any loopholes?" James drawled. "There's always a way around the rules, Harkstone. Watch closely."

And I watched in disbelief as James tapped his glass and murmured, "_Cochlease_." He tapped mine and the other two, looking very pleased with himself.

Frowning deeply, I pressed the cup against my ear and the other end on the heavy wooden door. My jaw dropped. I could hear the people inside as clearly as if I was standing right next to them.

"James…" Remus said, smiling.

"You're a _genius_!" Peter whispered, starry-eyed.

I rolled my eyes and held up a finger for silence. James and Remus chuckled.

"…what I have seen is most disturbing, Professor Folsom." Dumbledore was saying, sounding deeply disappointed and almost angry. "How you can talk about a student in such a way… it repulses me. I knew you didn't have much patience for children, but you were always a gifted student when you attended Hogwarts as a child yourself."

"That was a long time ago." Folsom replied immediately, sounding stiff and nervous. "I lost myself, sir. I forgot I was dealing with mere schoolchildren."

"On the contrary." Dumbledore disagreed, sounding even more disgusted. "You are in talks with Fenrir Greyback and discussing Voldemort's plans to rise to power? Did you think it wise to speak of such things in front of Regulus and Sirius Black?"

"I am good friends with the Black family." Folsom offered lamely. He sounded as if he knew there was no way out of this.

"I have little patience or tolerance for those who agree with Voldemort's teachings and ideals." Dumbledore continued, and he broke off suddenly. "You would attempt to penetrate my own mind, Mackenzie?" Dumbledore said angrily, and I exchanged a look with James, who seemed equally shocked.

"He sounds really angry." I mouthed.

James nodded and continued to listen.

"I wasn't… of course I wouldn't…" Folsom blustered.

"You've always been a skilled Legilimens." Willow said for the first time, sounding deeply disgusted. "You fool. Professor Dumbledore isn't malleable and weak. He is one of the strongest wizards to ever exist."

"Your actions tonight are inexcusable." Dumbledore said, ominously final. "Your contract will be terminated immediately, pending the end of our meeting. Sirius has given me irrefutable evidence of your lack of ability to carry out your position as teacher for my students. You will pack your things at once and never set foot in Hogwarts again while I am Headmaster."

"That seems a bit harsh, doesn't it?" James muttered as the silence stretched on.

"Folsom deserves it." I hissed, triumphant, my heart hammering in my chest. Justice… Folsom was finally being sacked.

"Dumbledore, come now." Folsom said slickly, his voice dripping with flattery, though he had abandoned usage of Dumbledore's title. "You can't be serious… you would believe a child, a known troublemaker and miscreant, over the word of a man you have known for the better part of thirty years?"

"A man I thought I knew." Dumbledore said coldly. "You are dismissed, Mackenzie, and I will be sending a letter to the Ministry for an appeal for an inquiry into your background."

"I told your hiring a vampire was risky." Willow lamented savagely.

There was a brutal hiss, and then a bang. The four of us jumped.

"You will _not _attack anyone while I am present." Dumbledore proclaimed in a steely voice. "Get out of my school. And I pity your foolishness if you ever try to skirt your way around my leniency again."

Someone was panting and wincing. Folsom had abandoned his formal and polite pretense and spoke with a sneer. "Very well, old man. Do what you see fit. You are an old fool, Dumbledore, a very old fool."

"Get out!" Willow snarled. "Don't forget, I always keep wooden stakes handy, Mackenzie."

Folsom laughed coldly. "It will take more than a little wood to finish me, Willow. Farewell, fools. You will regret this night, mark my words."

There was a loud bang, and a moment later the door was wrenched open. The four of us sprang back just in time. Folsom was in complete dishevelment. His hair was a rat's nest and dust trickled in a constant brown rain from his cheek. As he strode by, his gaze connected with mine for the briefest instant, and I gasped as if I had been plunged into an icy sea. His piercing blue eyes were no longer blank, but now full of hatred and rage.

_Just you wait, Miss Amber. _Folsom's cold voice hissed in my mind. _You won't be under the old fool's protection forever. And when you aren't, I will be there. Waiting._

Folsom looked away and set his gaze straight ahead. He swept past, red cloak billowing out behind him in a cloud of silk. His cloying perfume slowly ebbed and faded. Remus sneezed.

"He smells so awful." He complained.

"Blimey." James whispered.

"I can't believe…" Peter said in a horrified rasp, looking sick.

"Would you four please come in?" Dumbledore said in a much kinder voice than what he had used on Folsom. Clearly, he didn't know we had just overheard almost all of his speech.

We filed in wordlessly, wide-eyed, trying to act casual, but my hands trembled. Folsom had always been out to get me, but now, he had nothing to lose. Without protection, without Dumbledore, he would come after me. And do worse than kill me.

He would drink me. And then turn me into one of his kind.

Dumbledore let out a sigh, looking troubled. "Sirius informed me of the threats and harshness Folsom used with you. Are these true?"

I glanced at Sirius, who gave me a half-smile of encouragement. "If he said so, then yes." I replied simply.

Dumbledore looked sad. "Ah, I was afraid it was the truth. Forgive me, Amber, I would have taken care of him long ago, had I known the manner in which he conducted himself. I am sorry."

I watched his face, searching the depths of his blue eyes for any sign of doubt or falsehood. But he met my gaze squarely, without a hint of animosity, and I felt an uncomfortable swoop in my stomach as I realized that if only I had come forward earlier, maybe I would not have had to suffer under Folsom for so long.

But wasn't the whole point of going to Sirius's home, the house of Black, to find evidence on Folsom, to make a bulletproof argument for his dismissal?

I nodded once. "Thank you." was all I could think to say.

Dumbledore stroked the beautiful plumage of his phoenix, resting on his golden perch. Fawkes closed his black eyes in peace. His presence was oddly calming. I felt my stress over Folsom slowly ebbing away like a tide.

Dumbledore indicated to the open door to his office. "Boys, I would like a moment alone with Amber. Willow, I would like you to remain."

"Of course, Professor." Willow answered, reminding me very much of a slightly younger Professor McGonagall.

The boys looked indignant, especially Remus. "She isn't going anywhere without me." He said stoutly. "Not after what that monster put her through."

"I appreciate your chivalry, Remus." Professor Dumbledore said kindly. "But I am sure that Amber is well-protected in the midst of myself and Willow. You may wait for her in the Great Hall. They should be serving dinner soon."

James and Sirius looked defiant, but not nearly as much as Remus, who narrowed his eyes while a muscle jerked in his cheek. I gave him a pleading look. "I'll be fine." I promised.

Remus was silent for a moment, and then followed the other three boys out of the office. Willow watched them disappear down the stairs, and quietly shut the door to the office.

Dumbledore looked troubled again. He paced around his desk, hands clasped behind his back.

"I think the time has come for me to invest in extra protection." Dumbledore mused, halting before me. "Amber, if you would, please hold out your right hand."

I stared at the Headmaster, remembering last April, when James and Sirius had performed an Unbreakable Vow with me. Immediately following that memory came the one of this very office, a year ago as well, when my father had appeared unexpectedly to bring me the tidings of Virginia's deaths. Neither memory had been very happy, or safe.

"It won't hurt." Dumbledore assured me. Just like what Sirius had said.

Wordlessly, I extended my wand arm, palm up.

Dumbledore rested the tip of his wand gently against the tender skin. He muttered incantations that I couldn't hear, but Willow was watching with keen interest. Fawkes gave a low melodic moan.

After half a minute, Dumbledore withdrew his wand and gave a single, satisfied nod. "That should do it."

"Do what?" I asked, moving away from him, drawn to Fawkes. The phoenix opened his beady black eyes and surveyed me. He let out another cooing sound and lowered his head. He was like a peacock, but with flame-colored plumage rather than the dark blues and greens of a traditional one. When I touched his head, it was warm, like a cup of hot tea. I relaxed even further.

"One of his feathers is inside of your ash wand." Dumbledore informed me. "Fawkes has only donated one other feather in his entire lifetime."

"Who has the other one?" I asked as I stroked the silken feathers.

There was a pregnant bubble of silence, before Willow said quietly, "the Dark Lord."

The only sound was the distant chirp of crickets from outside Dumbledore's windows.

I turned to face them, feeling as if I had just swallowed a cup of hot, squirming worms. "What?"

"He prefers to be called by his other name, Voldemort," Dumbledore said. "But his real name is Tom Riddle. He was a student here, many years ago, with Willow Smith." He indicated to the fifty-something witch standing grimly in his office. "He was friends with Mackenzie Folsom. Close friends. He never had much patience for children, Mackenzie, but he was brilliant. A Slytherin, like his friend Tom, and very powerful and gifted. He has never claimed allegiance to Voldemort before, not since Tom Riddle left Borgin and Burkes all those years ago. He turned up here, in fact, seeking a job as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor about ten years ago, this time calling himself Lord Voldemort."

Willow, silent as ever, now had a hard gleam in her green eyes.

"I turned him down, of course," Dumbledore continued, "but I suppose he had never stopped whispering ideas into the ear of his friend, Mackenzie Folsom. And even though I knew he had become a vampire, I believed that underneath his cold exterior, he had a bright mind and skills worth teaching to young students. Unfortunately," he sighed wearily, "an old man sometimes forgets that his former students aren't always as ignorant and innocent as they were as children."

"Folsom wasn't ever innocent." Willow threw in. "I was in school with them too, Headmaster, and even then, as teenagers, he was an extremely skilled Legilimens. He could have fooled anyone."

"Even me." Dumbledore admitted sadly. I watched him as he walked around the room, touching a curious silver instrument balanced on a black bookshelf.

"Anyway, Amber, you seem to be safe from the Dark Lord. Your wands share twin cores, meaning that if you two were ever forced to do battle, your wands would be unable to kill each other. But you could certainly injure one another."

I stared at him, speechless. Fawkes let out a slow wail-like melody.

"Fawkes may donate another feather yet, but currently, you two remain the sole bearers of his feathers. This will not be enough to protect you from _Folsom's_ possible attempts at retaliation, so I have decided that Willow Smith will be your tutor this summer."

I turned to regard the scarred witch again, who gave me a grim smile.

"She was a Prefect, Head Girl, and Quidditch Captain when she attended this school." Dumbledore continued. "She was extremely skilled with Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Rather like you, Amber."

I didn't know what to say to any of this, least of all praise from the Headmaster, so I nodded numbly instead.

"You will meet with Willow every Monday and Friday for one to three hours of lessons." Dumbledore said. "This should be sufficient training to keep you safe."

"And what about my friends?" I interrupted. "Remus, Lily? Angelina? And what about Potter and Black? And Pettigrew?"

"She will be meeting with a few of them too, sporadically throughout the summer. But I have already notified their parents via owl, and most of them have decided to train them personally or with a separate tutor. Willow is here under my personal request."

"Thank you, Headmaster." Willow said, smiling for real now.

"Thank _you_, Willow." Dumbledore said, bowing slightly to her. He handed me a roll of parchment, tied shut with a red ribbon.

"This is your summer homework, from me, personally." Dumbledore said. "Your professors have told me how skilled you are with Charms. I would like you to learn these spells and master them as soon as possible. Willow will help you."

"Thank you." I said, trying to process all of this, feeling like an oversaturated sponge. I wondered if I took a step, if the knowledge I had just received in this office and in Sirius's kitchen would come bursting out onto the floor.

Dumbledore regarded me for another long moment. "I really am sorry, Amber." He said again. "I should have foreseen this."

I didn't know what to say, because one part of me wanted to yell _No kidding! _while the other wished to sink into the floor and pretend I had never woken up this day.

"I'll escort her to the Great Hall." Willow said, clearly sensing our dismissal. "Thank you again, Headmaster."

"It is always a pleasure to see you, Willow. Good day to you both."

Willow guided me out of the office. None of the boys had lingered this time.

"I wonder," Willow said as we descended the spiral staircase, "how long you've known he was a vampire?"

I was startled she had known that _I_ had known, but I did my best to act indifferent. I lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I guess I just read a lot. I like to stay informed."

"Spoken as a true Ravenclaw." Willow murmured, walking in tandem to the Great Hall at my side. I was silent, mulling over the events of the day, wondering how much therapy I would need and not get because of the overdose on experiences.

"Were you a Ravenclaw too?" I asked finally as we approached the entrance to the Great Hall. It was already filled with students, all happily chattering and eating an impressive feast. "You know a lot too, apparently."

Willow looked amused, watching the hundreds of students eat and converse, completely unaware of the sacking of Folsom, or the rumored rising of the Dark Lord, or the fact that my own wand, my ash wand, shared the same core as his.

"I was a Hufflepuff, actually." She said, smiling as she caught sight of Lily and Remus, who were waving at me.

I felt a pang of shame in my gut. My whole family, with the exception of myself, had been in the same House as Willow. I still hadn't learned how to swallow the guilt of being Sorted elsewhere.

"Keep your friends close, girl." She said in a strange voice, not looking at me. "You'll need them."

Before I could open my mouth to ask her what she meant, she had turned on her heel and swept softly away, her black cloak whispering in her wake. I stared after her, wondering who she was, what it must have been like to attend the same school, at the same time, as Folsom and Voldemort.

"Amber!" Lily shouted over the din of clamoring students. "Come on!"

If Willow could survive her years at Hogwarts, if she could become Prefect and Head Girl and Quidditch team Captain and an expert on Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, then so could I. I wouldn't be defined as just a Ravenclaw. I would define myself as a survivor, who lived through her sister's death and Folsom's threats and hatred. I wouldn't become a victim.

As I looked back at Lily and Remus, who were watching me with curious expressions, I could see the summer holidays stretching out before me. Lessons with Willow Smith. Letters to Remus and Lily. Working on the farm. And dealing with Virginia's absence, once again.

But in the fall, I would be returning to Hogwarts. This time, there would be no more Folsom. And I still had my friends.

Feeling better than I had all day, I walked into the Great Hall, leaving my fear behind, for one last afternoon at Hogwarts. I sat down between Remus and Lily, the latter of whom immediately launched into a full digression of her thoughts on James Potter and Sirius Black and Folsom. Remus listened as he bit into a thick bar of dark chocolate. When Angelina alighted on the bench with us and quickly engaged with Lily, I pulled out Dumbledore's letter and untied it. Remus glanced over curiously. I inched closer so that our elbows brushed. He offered me a piece of chocolate, which I nibbled on as I scanned through his list of assigned homework.

_ Amber,_

_ Please find your assignments for the summer holiday. Practice these often and research terms that you do not understand. Be polite and respectful of Willow Smith. You will go over these terms and spells with her frequently this summer. I await your owl if you have any further questions._

_ Best,_

_ Albus Dumbledore_

_ Patronus Charm_

_ The Reverse Spell Effect_

_ Vampires_

_ Veritaserum_

_ Occlumency_

_ Animagus_

_ History of Hogwarts, Grade 7_

James and Sirius crammed themselves between me and Remus. I let out a yelp of pain as Sirius stepped on my foot and James squashed my funny bone with his pointy elbow.

"That hurt!" I moaned as I rubbed the crook of my arm, tingling like fire ants.

James snatched up my letter from Dumbledore, scanning through it. Remus swiped at it, but James held it up higher. "Come off it, James." Remus sighed. "That's hers. Not yours."

"You were reading it too." He reminded him mildly.

"Because I let him." I snapped. "Give it back."

Sirius grinned suddenly, running his index finger along the second to last line. "Look, James."

James was sharing the same wicked look. Remus buried his face in his hands. "Really, guys?"

"What?" I said, frowning. "What?"

"Good thing Dumbledore assigned you this." James said cheerfully as he dropped down to my ear suddenly, so that only I could hear what he said next. "Because that's exactly what we're going to become."

"Become what?" I snorted. "Vampires?"

"No, you git." He handed me back my ash wand, the wand that shared its core with Lord Voldemort. He lowered his voice to a whisper again."We're going to become Animagus."


	28. Year 3: The Legacy of Hufflepuff

It was a summer like no one had ever experienced before. While London and the flatlands of Great Britain were warm and familiar, the highlands of Scotland were encased in eternal springtime. The trees swelled with buds but never leafed; the grass turned green but the nights remained cold. The townspeople of Inverness and Bellinghall, deep in the wilds of the Scottish Highlands, swore they saw snowflakes fall in May. But in late June, the skies cleared. The heat was suddenly on. The grass baked and died, burnt brown. The riverbeds lay dry and fully exposed. Children played in the mornings and late evenings when the sun was low and never got bitten by the usually vicious mosquitoes. They couldn't breed without water, which was becoming scarcer with each passing day. Wild animals turned up in the yards of the suburban and the urban, desperate for relief from the heat. Many deer and even a shameless black bear wandered into the center of Bellinghall and bathed in the cool granite fountain. It made Muggle as well as magical news.

Then one day, in mid-August, the skies turned black as night. Lightning forked across the purple-black clouds. The rain poured down in torrents. It came sideways, knocking the umbrellas inside-out of the people in the streets. It flooded the roads and fields and fell for a full day. The baking heat was replaced by a flash flood of water and cold.

No one could explain it. The reporters and weathermen in London had a field day; for a full week, it was all they could write about. Some meteorologists blamed an exceptionally strong Jetstream and convergence of high and low pressure. A few psychics claimed it was movement from the planets and their moons. The wizards and witches of Great Britain wondered if the Ministry of Magic was experimenting with the weather on a grand scale. Maybe they were trying to tame the weather in addition to the magical population.

Some of these theories were partially correct. The weather was indeed abnormal and deviant. But it wasn't to blame on natural causes.

When the weather had cleared and returned to typical August warmth and cloudlessness, most people forgot about the historic weather pattern and instead began to speak about returning to school and the imminent end of summer holiday.

But one man was responsible for the abnormal weather. He was as elusive as smoke, pale as snow, and had a heart colder than the deepest winter. He stood now in an old, abandoned plantation. Vines had broken though the glass window panes and spread along the walls. Doxies and red caps skulked in the dark green leaves of the vines, red eyes peering out suspiciously as the man walked slowly through the empty rooms and halls.

The house had been abandoned for the better part of thirty years. It had long since had its possessions sold off, and the remainders stolen, by family and strangers years ago. He halted in an empty room overlooking an abandoned cornfield, their skeletal stalks remaining in spite of the deserted state of the miniature manor.

A mother bird chirped at him, scolding his presence, sitting on top of her nest, built in the corner of a nearly-vacant bookshelf. The man gave a casual flick of his wand, and a jet of green light hissed across the room and struck the bird. She flinched, and then slumped in her nest, never to make another sound.

"That was rather cruel." A high-pitched voice intoned.

The man turned around, his mouth flattening deeper into a severe line. "_You _would have the audacity to tell _me _what is cruel and what is not?"

The other man stepped into the room soundlessly, his blood-red cape billowing out behind him. His dark blue eyes pierced into the other's without a hint of mercy, but rather, curiosity.

"Enough of your small talk, Mackenzie." The man said in an offhand, bored way. "Your fangs are showing."

Mackenzie Folsom chuckled once and stood in the shadow by the window, watery yellow sunlight streaming in through the grime. "What brings you here?"

The man stared at a large cracked mirror, his own reflection perfectly visible. His once-handsome face, which had charmed many people so effortlessly, was now pale and waxen, like he had suffered severe burns to his complexion. His dark eyes stared back at him, black and soulless as the pupils within Mackenzie's own eyes.

"You are growing sentimental, Tom." Mackenzie went on, staring down at the overgrown, wild lawn of the plantation. A lone red fox snuffled around in the grass, looking for something to eat.

His back was turned to him, but Voldemort set his jaw. "You know that is no longer my name." He said icily.

"I know, Voldemort." Mackenzie said, sounding amused. "You lost your former self long ago."

Voldemort was silent, moving through the room, past the dead mother, who would never be able to look after her own children. Whether unborn or newly hatched, Voldemort did not care or know.

"You know why I am here." Voldemort said at last. "I wanted to make sure it was safe."

"Ah, of course." Mackenzie replied thoughtfully. "It should be. No one has set foot in here for years. We have cast protections around it very well. Only Dumbledore could skirt around the defenses."

Voldemort picked up a very dusty textbook from the bookshelf, one of the few remaining tomes, and glanced at the title. _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – Newt Scamander_. He opened the cover and froze at what he saw inside.

"What is it?" Mackenzie questioned. "Is it lost?"

Voldemort picked up the old photograph from the book curiously, as if it was a fossil or a gem. He stared at the dusty, age-faded picture, his long fingers brushing briefly over the face of his younger self, smiling handsomely. Next to him was Mackenzie Folsom, hardly aged more than he looked now. Both wore their Slytherin robes, a gleaming Head Boy badge on his own lapel along with his dead father's ring. His first two followers, Yaxley and Lestrange, grinned up next to him. A third – a woman – stood beside him, half-smiling, half-scowling, frowning at the boys every few seconds as if she couldn't really believe that she was meant to be in the picture too.

"Oh, look." Mackenzie said, bringing Voldemort's attention back to the present. "Isn't that it, right there?"

Voldemort put the photograph down on the bookshelf and followed Mackenzie's gaze. A small wooden box, covered in a thick layer of dust, sat on the mantle of a fireplace just feet from where he stood.

Wordlessly, he drew the box closer in his cold, white hands and brushed off the layers of gray dust with a long forefinger. In his other hand, he held his yew and phoenix feather wand. "_Wasovia lacumtara._"

The box gave a tiny click. He gently opened the lid, smiling wickedly in victory when it yielded to his touch.

Voldemort lifted a gleaming golden cup from its deep folds of purple velvet. It was small, wrought out of pure gold, with two fine handles. A badger was embossed in the center, a few precious gems and jewels glittering in the light of the chandelier.

"You have failed me, Folsom." Voldemort said quietly, examining the cup closely. Mackenzie gave a small inhale of fear.

"My Lord." Mackenzie said formally. "I would never, ever betray your trust. You know that since we were schoolchildren, my loyalty has _always _been to you and you alone. You are my-"

"Enough." Voldemort interrupted coldly, touching the embossed badger with a finger. "Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth."

Mackenzie was silent. Voldemort could smell his growing fear, as acrid and telling as smoke to a fire.

"Your mission was simple." Voldemort continued, listening to the tiny metallic click of the cup, like an irregular heartbeat. "You were to gather more followers. You were to increase the number of our Death Eaters."

"My Lord." Mackenzie said, sounding affronted. "I did what you asked. I have counted at least twenty young students who expressed interest, including a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff."

Voldemort laughed once, devoid of humor. "And you turned them down, I assume? Only those in the House of my ancestor, Salazar Slytherin, will be chosen from Hogwarts."

"Of course, my Lord." Mackenzie said. "But, forgive me, there is something you must know."

Voldemort rested the cup back in its bed of purple velvet, shutting the box gently and pushing it back on its lonely shelf. "What is it?" he said vaguely, already thinking of his locket, hidden deep inside of a sea cavern, miles and miles from here…

"It is… it is her." Mackenzie said in a voice filled with disdain and anger. "Dumbledore has replaced me with Willow Smith."

Voldemort picked up the old photograph again, staring down at each of the five in the picture. His own face, Mackenzie's, Yaxley, Lestrange, and Smith. A wicked smile spread slowly across his face as his mind filled with memories from his own time at school.

"He has made her the tutor of Amber." Mackenzie spat. "She runs around with four boys… they call themselves the Marauders."

"Yes, I am aware. You told me of these things." Voldemort said impatiently, still staring at the old photograph. "Interesting… I wonder, how it seems that Hogwarts harbors a group of five in every generation? Each group filled with a traitor…"

He heard Mackenzie swallow nervously. "I have always been loyal to you, my Lord."

But Voldemort wasn't listening. His dark gaze was pinpointed, like a sniper's gun, on Willow Smith's dubious face in the picture. "I wonder," Voldemort said slowly, "if Dumbledore is willing to hire a vampire… I wonder if he is also willing to hire a former Death Eater."

He put the photograph back on the shelf, turning from the room and sweeping down the stairs of the old, abandoned plantation. Folsom followed him hastily, straight through a beam of sunlight, without a trace of burning or pain.

"My Lord," he panted as they swept past two magnificent magnolia trees, "what makes you think she is a former Death Eater? What if she remains loyal to you?"

Voldemort paused by the edge of the property, turning his head slightly to listen for any sound of a follower. There was none.

"I think," Voldemort said quietly, "that once someone has chosen to follow me, there is no turning back. Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater."

The two Disapparated with a loud _crack_. Silence reigned again over the abandoned plantation. Hours later, in the dark of night, crickets chirped, bats squeaked. A shadow swept across the grounds, long and cast heavy by the light of the nearly full moon.

A witch with a long scar running down her face emerged from behind a towering willow tree, the moonlight reflecting on her green eyes. A single black mark on her forearm burned slightly as she stared at the spot where the vampire and the Dark Lord had stood. Then, she turned and walked wordlessly into the plantation, the name of a spell already on her lips.


	29. Tough Love

It was early nightfall when the train arrived in Bellinghall. The mid June sun hung low above the tops of the trees, peeking out from behind the ridges of the Grampian Mountains. Thick, heavy clouds threatened rain, but none had fallen on the entire ride from Hogsmeade to Bellinghall. Fog was rolling down from the high gray peaks, blowing unseasonably cold air down into the valley where my hometown was nestled.

The events of the past week still haunted me like my sister's ghost. I could still smell Fenrir Greyback's stench of dirt, sweat, and blood in my nostrils. I could feel the coldness of the kitchen floor from 12 Grimmauld Place seeping through my shoes into my feet. The violent-blue of Mackenzie Folsom's eyes still pierced me as deeply as his threat had. The fact that I was now going to be receiving private training sessions with a former colleague of his did little to comfort me.

Remus and Lily, my closest friends, were the only ones I wanted to see this summer. Though it was easier to sympathize with Sirius now, I still didn't want anything to do with Potter. The size of his swollen head made it impossible to feel anything but tolerance for him. And Peter… he was more persistent than a hungry mosquito following his quarry.

I sighed deeply and pulled out my ash wand, studying the hard surface silently. Within the wood, a single feather of Fawkes resided and gave the wand its magical powers. Somewhere in the hand of another wizard, the brother of this feather lived.

The only difference was, my wand had never been used to take the life of another. And Voldemort was known to have murdered, even if the Ministry was trying to keep it hushed up. Voldemort was enough of a threat that Dumbledore was taking proactive matters in defending his students. Starting with the ones who had tread a little too far into the personal lives of his companions.

Did Voldemort even _have _companions or friends?

The conductor passed by, frowning slightly down at me. "Isn't this your stop?" He glanced at my ticket.

"Yes, it is." I said quickly, rising and swinging my bag over my shoulder and pulling my suitcase behind me. The wheels rattled over the aisle and down the steps onto the platform. I had been so deeply engrossed in my own turbulent thoughts that I hadn't even noticed when the train had lurched to a stop in my hometown.

To my surprise, my father was waiting for me by his old blue Ford. He waved once, hands in his tan jacket. Even in June, he wore long jeans and work boots, owing to the unseasonably chilly air that permeated the valley. Shivering slightly and tugging my sleeves down to cover more skin, I walked to my father and offered a perfunctory smile. I still hadn't forgotten his outburst last summer, intoxicated as he had been. It didn't excuse for the cutting words that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Hey, Amber." Dad said, smiling down at me through his light golden fuzz of facial hair. His green eyes were warm, but I could tell that he was a little nervous. I doubted he too would be able to forget that night.

"Hi." I chewed my lower lip, suddenly wishing I had just walked alone back to the house.

Dad stood awkwardly, his gaze following the train as it rolled out of the station and disappeared around a moss-covered stone wall. "Are you hungry?"

At his words, my stomach rumbled slightly. But the thought of being alone with him while we ate food was unappetizing, and I shrugged. "I guess. A little. I can wait for dinner."

"Well, if you're hungry, I can take you down to St. Bride's and get you something to eat. How about a veggie burger?"

"Dad, they're closed at three, remember?" I said as I heaved my heavy suitcase into the bed of the truck. I thought of spending the next two and a half months like this; awkwardly talking and navigating my way around my parents, and I felt a cold swoop of dread inside, chasing away the gnawing hunger. I almost wanted to cry, but tears never solved anything.

Dad seemed to sense my discomfort, because he nodded once and gestured to the car. "Well, whatever you want for dinner. Your mom mentioned making fish, but you could have something else. The garden's starting to produce. We've got lots of stuff."

"Sure, thanks, Dad." I said politely as I climbed into the cabin of the aging car. Dad turned the key. The engine coughed and died.

I drew out my ash wand and pointed it at the ignition. "_Initium_."

The car jerked to life. Dad raised a brow.

"You aren't supposed to do magic outside of school." He reminded me, guiding the Ford down the quiet country road.

I shrugged. "Someone had to do it."

Dad half-smiled and didn't bring it up again. Regina Vintage was singing through the speakers, rising her voice to a graceful soprano. We listened to her in silence, the memory of his outburst sitting between us like a hippogriff.

At last, the car rolled up to the familiar yellow bungalow. Gently rolling fields spread out beyond the house until they met dark green forest; beyond that, huge, purple, majestic mountains cut jaggedly into the skyline. Distantly, I could see tiny white specks on the flank of the nearest mountain; a herd of wild sheep was grazing on the slope.

Dad climbed out and grabbed my suitcase before I could. The air was slightly colder here than it had been at the station, since the elevation was greater and a river cut through the forest just a few hundred feet away in the shadows of the towering trees. A thin column of smoke issued from the chimney; Mum must have started a cooking fire. Or maybe even just a fire to keep warm.

I rubbed my hands together and followed Dad through the blue front door and into the threshold. He didn't bother taking off his tan jacket. Much warmer air flowed through the house than outside, but I kept my sweater on. I wasn't planning on staying inside long.

There was the sound of movement coming from the kitchen. A moment later, I glimpsed Mum, who was busily moving about the kitchen with a spatula in one hand and a hand moving toward a cookbook with the other. The aroma of falafel, olive oil, and garlic drifted toward me. My stomach gave a huge rumble of approval.

"Looks like she's changed her mind about fish." Dad said, sounding amused. He walked into the kitchen, talking in quiet, low voices. I seized my chance and hurried unnoticed up the stairs and onto the second floor.

My feet made the tired hardwood floor creak with every step. I pushed open the door to my bedroom and blinked as the smell of dust, cold air, and neglect chased away the odor of cooking food. From my window, I could see the thick white clouds rolling down the sides of the mountains, obliterating the landscape with their snowy tendrils. I set my bag on my quilt, which sagged slightly. I glanced around the room, making sure everything was just as I'd left it. A few witches who had been popular in the fifties waved at me from their four separate posters on one wall, each sporting a different bathing suit or dress, all wearing fire engine-red lipstick. Two pictures by Vincent Van Gogh, _Café Terrace at Night _and _Starry Night_, were tacked to the wall. A few pictures of my family and friends hung on a corkboard on my desk. Unzipping my bag, I withdrew a handful of new photographs that I had developed this morning before the train had departed from the castle. Carefully, I added the pictures of Remus, Lily, and Angelina. I pulled out Sean's picture and hesitated. Did he really count as a friend?

I decided with a blush that it didn't matter, and placed his photograph next to Angelina, who, like many of the female students at Hogwarts, harbored romantic feelings for the handsome Hufflepuff. I wondered if he would write me this summer at all, in spite of our infrequent meetings.

"Why does it matter?" I muttered to myself, shaking off the thought of Sean like an irksome fly, and found a few more photographs. These were of the four male Marauders. Rolling my eyes at the arrogant and obnoxious looks on James' and Sirius' faces, I grudgingly tacked them onto the corkboard, knowing I'd probably take them down in a few days once the sentimental value of my Hogwarts peers wore off.

My gaze stilled over the one photograph of Virginia that I owned. She was smiling serenely down at me, sitting on a tree branch that was barely five feet off the ground. But if Mum had known she had done such a thing, she would have taken my aged camera from my hands and locked it away until my final year at school.

I felt a familiar pang of sadness and guilt as I realized that she was gone. Despite the familiarity of my room and the house I'd grown up in, I knew she wasn't in the next room, taking her daily nap, or outside petting the new foal or watching over the adolescent chicks. She was buried outside in the yard, underneath the willow tree.

A lump formed in my throat at the fact that my sister was resting underneath the very same species of tree responsible for her death. I jerked my eyes away and returned to my bag, unpacking and replacing my belongings to distract myself. I hung a new banner of Ravenclaw over my large window and hung my uniform in my closet. I organized the neat closet until it was as good as a retail display. I had left my suitcase downstairs, and, not caring if I got into trouble or not, waved my wand at the slightly open door and said, _"Accio Suitcase!"._

The door burst open as the heavy brown suitcase flew into the room and landed before me. Predictably, I heard Mum shout, "_Amber! No magic outside of school!"_

Grinning smugly at her expense, I disgorged the contents of the suitcase on the floor and reshelved those items too. When there was nothing left to do, I knew I couldn't stall it any longer; I had to go see my parents and have dinner with them.

Clearing my throat (and thankful the lump was gone), I descended the stairs slowly, trying to brace myself for whatever I was about to encounter. The smell of cooking food was stronger now; my mouth watered as the aroma of falafel overwhelmed me. But I couldn't stop remembering last summer, couldn't shake the niggling feelings of guilt or dread that this summer could be just as awful as the last one.

I cautiously entered the kitchen, swallowing hard. Mum had her back to me, pushing a final trio of falafel patties across the cast-iron skillet. I watched her for a moment, wondering why facing my own mother scared me more than the fact that a vampire was probably going to come after me at some point in my life.

Before I could duck out, Mum turned around. Her sky-blue eyes – Virginia's eyes – widened. Then she smiled. "All unpacked?"

I stared at her, realizing just then that she and I were now eye-level. I was no longer looking up at her, but was now straight in her field of vision. Maybe I had grown quickly since the last time I'd seen her, nearly nine months ago. But I knew better. The truth was that the last time we had really interacted, face to face, had been so long ago that I had simply grown up more in the time spanning between encounters.

I did not know what to say, because the lump was back in my throat.

Mum frowned slightly. "Is everything alright, dear?"

I searched her face, for any sign of accusation or mad grief, but she was appraising me with concern, devoid of anything but maternal concern. I felt myself relax slightly.

"No… everything's fine, Mum. I'm just tired."

Her face brightened. "Well, I expected nothing less! An owl arrived from school this morning, from Professor Flitwick. He told me that you are doing exceptionally well with your classes. Second to the top of your class, in fact!"

She was beaming. I couldn't share in her obvious pride, because Mum had never once taken the slightest triumph in my academic success. I peered into her face, relentless.

"Mum, are you _sure _everything's alright?" I pressed.

She waved her hand, clearly dismissing my question. "Oh, Amber, I'm _fine! _Honestly dear, you sound like you think I'm usual a crazy nutter!" She turned back to the stove and removed the three falafel patties and placed them on a paper towel to dry. I watched her carefully, and then, against my better judgment, walked deeper into the kitchen.

"Do you need any help setting up the table?" I ventured.

She nodded. "Oh, yes, that would be wonderful. Would you mind setting for four? Naomi will be back from Celia's house any moment now."

I felt myself relaxing a little. Naomi. Surely Mum would hold onto her sanity when her youngest child was present.

"Where's Dad?" I said, trying to make small talk with a woman I spoke to less often than Remus.

Mum carried in a bowl of fruit salad. "Outside tending to the animals. He got the whole day off of work, can you believe it? They work that poor man too hard."

I wondered how much harder Dad would be working, now that he didn't have the weight of Virginia's medical bills on his shoulders, and hated myself the moment I thought of it. I would have worked every day for the rest of my life if it meant I could have saved my sister.

"You look so tired, Amber." Mum said, breaking me out of my reverie. "Are you sure _you're _alright?"

I raised my eyes to hers – brown into green – and lied to my mother's face. "I'm completely fine."

Mum opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, the front door slammed open. The sound of running feet vibrated in the floor, and a tiny hurricane collided with my waist, squeezing out my air. "AMBER!"

I felt my worries melting away, thawed out by the innocence and enthusiasm of my littlest sister. "Good to see you too, Naomi."

She squeezed me tighter. "Oh, I'm so glad you're back! Never ever leave again! Promise!"

"You know I've got to go back to school, Ny." I teased, smiling down at her. She had grown a few inches too; her brown hair was longer, but her green eyes still brimmed with childlike faith and innocence that I had lost.

"You look different." Naomi said after a moment. "Why do you look sad?"

"I guess I just… miss Virginia." I admitted.

Naomi sighed heavily. "Me too." She moved like a tornado, throwing her shoes by the front door and picking up things from the floor. "Here, I want to show you what I did for my class! Mrs. Fish said it was the best one!"

She shoved a painting of a butterfly in my face. It was very well done, especially for a nearly-eight-year-old. I pulled back and examined it. "Very good. Are you happy it's summer?"

Naomi's face glowed with delight. "I am now that you're home!"

The warmth of her words melted away most of my sorrow and guilt. Mum emerged from the kitchen with a pitcher of iced tea. "Will you girls go fetch your father? I don't want dinner to get cold."

"Yes, Mum." We answered in unison. We exited the house together and found our father using magic to usher the horses in from the pasture. A silver moose was cantering around them, guiding them back into the red barn. A small black foal, accompanied by a red and white one, galloped around and around the silver moose, trying to catch it, but unable to since it was only light.

Dad turned around at Naomi's excited squeal. He grinned at the both of us. "I don't suppose either of you knows how to conjure a Patronus yet?"

"I need to learn." I said, coming to lean against the old wooden fence with Naomi, watching Dad's Patronus in the field. "Dumbledore assigned me summer homework."

"Dumbledore assigned it?" Dad said incredulously. "Not Flitwick? Is something going on?"

"Amber's just really smart!" Naomi piped up. "She can do anything. I bet she can produce a Patronus in no time! She's a Ravenclaw, she's good with hard stuff. Not like you, Dad. That's why you were a Hufflepuff."

"Naomi!" I said indignantly, heat rising to my cheeks, but Dad laughed and smiled wider.

"You've forgotten your sister's sass." Dad told me, eyes twinkling. "Did your mother send you two ladies out to tell me dinner's ready?"

"Yup." I said, just as Naomi slipped under the fence and ran, laughing, to chase after Dad's Patronus, which trotted playfully from her, just out of reach.

Dad and I watched Naomi play for a moment. Then he approached me. Hands in his pockets, not looking at me. I knew from running around with a group of boys that this was how males communicated, especially when there was something serious to be discussed. They wouldn't make eye contact. They would act casual. They didn't like to stir up drama.

So I watched Naomi and waited for my father to speak.

"Your mother has missed you." Dad said quietly.

A mosquito buzzed in front of me. I slapped it away. "I guess."

"She has." Dad insisted. "She just… got lost in her grief. You know how much she loves… loved Virginia. Loves all of you."

"I'm sure." I answered automatically, unable to banish the flood of memories, which were now coming full-force, now that I was back on ground zero. I could still see Mum, in her night dress, tearing up my first flower garden I had planted over Virginia's grave. I could still feel her stinging slap of the hand on my face. Her relentless rejections.

"Amber, please." Dad pleaded. "Don't think badly of her. She isn't perfect, you know. She's doing the best she can."

"I guess so." I wasn't sure how to answer him honestly, when I still couldn't banish the memory of his outburst nearly a year ago.

Dad let out a sigh. "I know you need time to think about this. Process it, analyze it, whatever. You're my oldest child. I've never raised a teenage girl before, but I know that hormones, and boys, and… difficult stuff can stress our relationship, as father and daughter. Please, don't let be that way. You can always talk to me. And your mother. Whenever you're ready."

I couldn't look at him. I knew that if I did, I would start crying. And I didn't want to give anyone the pleasure of seeing that. So instead I kept my gaze trained on Naomi, who had finally caught up to the bull moose and was reaching for its silver muzzle.

"Time for dinner." Dad said, and the Patronus slowly faded away into nothing.

Naomi followed us back into the house, chattering away about her past year in elementary school and how she couldn't wait to get her first wand at Ollivander's and try to make a Patronus Charm. Mum had hot bread waiting for us and was still smiling placidly, as if death had never settled over this house like a fat black crow. I ate sparingly for dinner, despite my hunger, and acquiesced to a few games of Exploding Snap. It felt odd to be here in the tiny yellow house instead of the sprawling stone castle of Hogwarts. Ironically, I was homesick for my school, not the place I had grown up. It was a strange feeling. In one place, I felt at home. The place where I'd grown up was familiar, but as uninviting as the tundra. I looked around at the pictures resting on the mantle, the faces smiling back at me, and wondered how many of them would miss me if I had remained at Hogwarts and never returned to Bellinghall.

Mum served us lemon bars for dessert, along with tea. The nights were still chilly. Dad stoked the fire and sent us both to bed.

"You've had a long day of travel." Dad said when he saw my brow lift in indignation. "You need your rest."

"We'll have plenty of time to catch up." Mum added. "The whole summer." She enfolded me in a hug that I could only half-heartedly return. Mum wasn't one to initiate a hug, or really, hug at all. Awkwardly, I shuffled upstairs to bed, only saying a single word ("okay") and not looking back at either of them. Just like in the car, a hippogriff was in the room. Neither of them wanted to talk about it, and I wasn't even sure how to approach it.

But would it matter if we acknowledged it? Or would that make it worse? Perhaps stuffing it deep down inside and away from daylight would suffice. Just like I had done with Virginia's death.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face, surprised when I looked into the mirror and found myself standing in the small upstairs bathroom instead of the large girls' lavatory at Hogwarts. How long would it take me to readjust?

I shuffled toward my bedroom, and then paused. Virginia's door, next to mine, was firmly closed. A small line of moonlight glowed white at the bottom of the door. I hesitated. Did I want to enter into her old room, her shrine? Did Mum and Dad ever go in? Did Naomi?

Curiosity won me over. I gently pushed open the brass knob, which clicked and creak with lack of use. I was expecting to see her bedroom just as she had had it in life: white iron wrought bedframe, enchanted flowers that would not die on every surface, and pictures of family and friends on the walls.

I was not expecting it to be bare.

I stepped inside of the room, stunned. Every picture had been removed from the walls. No flowers or cloying scent filled the stale, musty air. The furniture was gone. The only thing that remained was the color of pale blue on the walls.

Speechless, I backed out of the vacant room, a sick feeling rising in my throat. I closed my eyes and tried to banish what I had just seen. I knew Virginia was gone, but I had always believed that her bedroom would be kept as a memorial to her. I never thought that Mum would ever let anyone pack away her favorite daughter's things or change even the layout of the furniture.

And it was empty.

I thought of the pictures downstairs on the mantle. Frowning, I crept back down the stairs. Mum and Dad were speaking softly in the kitchen, hidden from view. Their voices were too low for me to make out what they were saying. Worried about the creaky floor, I whispered, _"Muffliato!" _and snuck closer to the fireplace. The flames had died down, now small flickering embers among the red-hot coals. I stood before the mantle, bemused. There were captured scenes of a trip to the beach, a wedding, a picnic, and a large family portrait. But missing among the family members was Virginia. She was absent from the family portrait taken of the entire Harkstone family three years ago in Inverness, even though she had been present. With alarm, I noticed that even though Naomi and I both had individual shots, framed beautifully on the mantle, Virginia wasn't among us.

I turned my face toward the kitchen, my heart pounding in my ears. Virginia's room had been cleaned, no, evicted, of her belongings. And now her photographs were missing.

Dad had warned me that Mum had moved on from her grief. And maybe… the only way she had been able to was to eliminate the reminders of her dead daughter from her house.

Shaking my head, I climbed silently back to my bedroom, letting the door sigh closed behind me. I looked at the pictures on my corkboard again, and I felt a jolt when my gaze roved over Virginia's.

Though Mum had stripped away her memory, I would not. Even if it had been my fault.

There was a tapping noise at the window. A snowy-breasted barn owl with a heart-shaped face fluttered by the glass, a letter tied to his right leg. Soren. My link back to Hogwarts.

I prised open the protesting windows, which squealed, but quickly submitted to my strength. Soren soared inside, landing gracefully on the frame of my bed. He hooted softly, fluffing out his speckled feathers. He extended a white, feathery leg, beady black eyes watching me.

I untied the letter, embossed on the back in red wax, and stroked his back. Soren hooted again, his feathers cold. "Thanks for flying to me, buddy." I murmured, smiling as his eyes drifted shut in contentment.

I slit open the letter, expecting to find another message from the Headmaster. But this time it was from a woman I had just met the other day, someone who had made Mackenzie Folsom retreat in fear. Her handwriting was even more elegant than Dumbledore's.

_Dear Miss Harkstone,_

_ As a reminder, your lessons begin with me tomorrow morning at ten a.m. I will be arriving at your residence by Apparition, and we will be traveling to Queen's Hall, located in the heart of Bellinghall. Please bring lunch and a water bottle as we will be practicing from ten thirty a.m. until four in the afternoon. I will escort you home after each lesson. I look forward to working with you this summer._

_ Willow H. Smith_

"Well, that was enlightening." I muttered as I cast the letter onto my desk. Soren was preening himself, oblivious. I threw myself onto the bed, startling him, but he remained seated on the iron frame with his back to mine.

I stared out of the window into the inky darkness. Clouds shrouded the moon, and the cold seeped in through the bones of the old house. The castle, hewn from stone, had always been comfortably cool. I inhaled the familiar scent of fresh paper, mown grass, and wildflowers. This was home. This is where I had grown up.

So why did I feel so numb?

The cold air drove me underneath the heavy comforter. I watched Soren finish cleaning his feathers and then gaze at the moon. He leaned forward, eyes trained on something moving outside.

"You want to hunt?" I mumbled, my eyes tired from the darkness, from the weight of the day's events. "You going to leave me, too?"

Soren was still and silent, transfixed, his profile outlined in the moonlight. Then, as if he were a gambling addict turning down free money, he wrenched his gaze away and focused on me. He blinked once, ruffling his feathers.

"Come here." I said, tapping the iron frame.

Soren paused, and then, silently, glided over to the frame above my head and gripped it with his talons. He gave a yawn, exposing his pink mouth, and closed his eyes. I watched him fold in on himself, and relax into sleep.

_At least my owl cares about me_. I thought sleepily as my subconscious overtook my waking mind. Things had changed so much in just a year. But Soren - who represented Hogwarts and its stability - remained. With that comfort in mind, I slipped into the soft world of half-wakefulness, half-sleep. I was too tired to notice the second letter that had come with the first, which had fallen to the ground and underneath my bed, written in what could only have been the calligraphy of Remus Lupin.


	30. Summer Lessons

I was chasing a boy. He was running in front of me, heading straight into the deep shadows of the forest. His black robes billowed out behind him. He was in a hurry, his destination clear, evident by his long, purposeful strides. Somehow, I knew, I was back at Hogwarts. At we were on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"Wait!" I called, hurrying after him, trying to stop him, but unable to bridge the distance. He disappeared under the gloom of the towering pine trees.

I stumbled over a root in my haste. The scent of dark soil and heavy fir made my nose sting. The gathering darkness was blacker here, and I reached for my wand, stowed in my belt.

"_Lumos!" _I shouted, igniting the air in front of me. I quickened my lagging pace. The thick undergrowth tore at the hem of my shirt, but I had to catch the boy. I knew that if I didn't, he would be lost to me forever.

The thick trees opened abruptly into a ravine. Here, the odor of sweat and blood overpowered the scent of the trees. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled in warning.

Several pairs of death-white eyes reflected eerily at me from the shadows under the trees lining the edge of the ravine. I backed up, hoping to escape the same way I had come in, but I was surrounded. The eyes loomed closer.

Someone grabbed me from behind. I wrestled against the grip, fighting my way free by sheer force. I whirled around, wand pointed at my attacker, the name of a spell already on my lips.

"_Stupe-…"_

The words died in my throat.

The boy I had been pursuing gazed down at me. Until now, his back had been to me. His normally green eyes were pale and reflected white like the others staring me down from the shadows. The scars slashing down his face in a cruel sideways motion were raw and ragged and fresh.

I didn't dare move. I swallowed hard, wand hand shaking. My voice came out much steadier and calmer than I felt. "We need to go. Now."

But the boy stared down at me wordlessly. There was a chorus of howls behind us. Then he opened his mouth, exposing long white fangs, and grabbed both of my arms with unnatural strength. He jerked me close, chest to chest, and plunged his razor-like teeth deep into my neck.

I woke up gasping for breath. My hands reached for my wounded neck, probing, searching frantically for warm blood or fresh tears. But it was smooth, soft, unbroken skin. My pulse pounded in my ears and underneath my fingers, mouth dry as cotton. I was trembling, still seeing the face of the monster boy just before he had attacked.

I had been chasing him… but why? To save him? Warn him? Or destroy him?

Why had I dreamt of Remus?

Swallowing convulsively, I rose on unsteady feet and quickly washed and dressed for the day. I zipped up a gray woolen sweater with a large hood and hurried downstairs. I wore jeans that ended at my ankles because it was too cold for shorts. It was nearly ten in the morning.

"There you are." Mum said as I entered the kitchen, frowning. "I was about to wake you. Dumbledore sent an owl this morning. Your summer lessons begin today."

"I know." I tried to shake the remnants of the nightmare by thinking of breakfast, but instead of enticing my appetite, I felt my throat tighten up in a wave of nausea.

Mum peered at me closely. "Are you feeling alright, dear?"

I nodded slowly. "Just a bad dream."

"I told you to stop reading those scary books." Mum tuttered, waving her wand and producing a china cup with a flourish. She tapped a tea kettle, which immediately whistled with boiling water, and poured it in. She added a bag of mango passionfruit tea – my favorite.

She smiled kindly, handing the steaming mug to me. "Sit. I'll make you something for lunch."

Unnerved by her pleasant demeanor, I warily eased myself into a chair in the adjoining dining room. The chandelier glowed faintly in the light of the morning sun, a few tiny fairies sitting thoughtfully on the iron wroughts. They had either wandered in during the night or been captured by Naomi. I tried to focus on the fairies instead of the nightmare, which still felt too real for my comfort.

"Your father is at work." Mum said as she placed a brown bag in front of me. "Naomi has decided to join Pee Wee Quidditch."

I looked up, surprised. "I didn't know she played."

Mum smiled. "Yes, well… neither did I. Or your father. But she says she's been playing for the past two years with her friends. You know, Celia Sweets and Mindy Longford? Apparently she's been bewitching my broom to play." She shook her head, looking proud. "I had no idea the kind of magic she was capable of."

I hadn't the faintest idea either. But what was more intriguing was the fact that Mum – who never showed a shred of interest in either me or Naomi – was carrying on about her like she was baby Jesus.

With a familiar stab of guilt, I guessed that this newfound attention came only because her gaze was no longer eternally vigilant upon Virginia and her fluctuating health.

"Anyway," Mum continued, "I've decided to get her a real broom in a few years, when she's old enough. Maybe ten years old. It'll give us some time to save up for it. Speaking of birthdays… what would _you_ like? Yours is only two months away, you know. You'll be thirteen. A teenager!"

Awkwardly, I sipped my tea, which was screaming hot, making tiny, but clearly audible, shrills.

"Um, I don't really know." Mum had never offered to buy me anything. She had always waited for me to approach her with a request. In fact, when I had gone with her and my sisters to Diagon Alley two years ago to purchase my school supplies, I had to practically force her to buy us lunch. Her stinginess was only exempt to Virginia.

"Well, think about it." Mum said sternly. "A racing broom, a new owl-"

"I like Soren just fine." I interjected firmly. "He's perfect."

"Oh, well, that's good too." Mum said dismissively. "I'd just figured… you know… since he was a wild owl that your father caught in the barn… that you'd want a real owl. A trained owl."

"Well, I've trained him just fine, thanks." I said shortly, defensive at the thought of parting with my sweet barn owl.

Mum sighed. "Yes, Amber, alright. No need to bite my head off." She flung a dry white washcloth over one shoulder, humming as she washed dishes. I stared at her, wondering if it was possible that Dad had simply divorced Mum, married a sweeter, motherly woman, and had her take Polyjuice Potion daily to fool Naomi and I into thinking it was actually Lena Harkstone, the woman who had given birth to us.

But I knew Dad would never do such a thing. His loyalty to Mum ran too deep. He would stay with her for life, even if she was sometimes a downright horror at times.

By the time I looked back at my tea, a fairy had descended from the chandelier and was now half-submerged in the hot liquid, leaning back against the rim of the cup in relaxed contentment amongst the constant screams from the hot water. I rose to my feet and filled a water bottle in the kitchen from the tap.

"I'll be back around four." I told Mum, who had begun to slice raw chicken breasts on the counter with a sharp knife that I eyed very carefully.

"Have fun." Mum wished, humming louder.

With a last dubious look at her, I exited the house and made my way to the giant tire swing hanging from a sprawling elm tree in front of the house. I swung on it lazily for barely a minute when there was a loud _crack _and a witch dressed in all black robes Apparated in the middle of our front yard.

Her sudden appearance brought Romulus streaking in from the barn, baying loudly in warning. Several horses scattered in the pasture in panic at the gunshot-like noise, crying loudly. The chickens scattered, squawking and flapping in fruitless attempts to take flight.

I stared at Willow Smith, who turned and faced me with a blank expression. Her brows lifted as a tiny brown hen finally rose into the air and flew clumsily into a branch twenty-five feet above the ground.

"Well… I can see that Apparating directly to your house was a mistake." She said calmly.

I laughed once as Romulus paced around me, howling. "I guess."

Professor Smith surveyed the property, her green eyes shrewd. In the sunlight, I could see where her brown hair was shot through with faint gray streaks. "Where are your parents?"

"Dad's at work. He works for the Ministry. Mum's inside. She's… busy."

"I see." She didn't push the subject. "Shall we?"

I hopped off the tire and followed her to the edge of the yard, where our property met the lonely country road that led into town a half mile away.

"Do you mind walking?" I said awkwardly. "We can't exactly take the horses."

A smile twitched across Professor Smith's lips. "That wasn't the kind of transportation I had in mind."

She let out a low whistle. She reached into her robes and withdrew a piece of raw meat, the size of my palm. I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

She issued another whistle. There was a rustling in the rough hedges on the other side of the road. Then, the bushes parted. Though nothing was there, I could hear something moving closer to us. I backed up, uneasy.

"No need to be frightened." Professor Smith said, as the piece of raw meat disappeared from her hand in a flash. "It's a thestral."

"A thestral?" I echoed. "I can't see it."

"You've never seen someone die." Professor Smith concluded. "I figured a Ravenclaw would know what a thestral was."

I felt indignant heat rise to my face. "I do know what it is. I've just never seen one. I've read that they're like skeletal horses with leathery, black skin and bat-like wings. They're carnivorous and gentle."

"Did you know they pull the carriages at Hogwarts?" Professor Smith said.

In spite of myself, I could feel my jaw drop. "They _do_?"

Professor Smith climbed up, looking very strange in a straddling position five feet off the ground. She offered a hand. "I'll help you get up."

Filled with trepidation, I took her hand, which was surprisingly strong, and felt her lift me easily onto a solid, invisible seat. The seat moved beneath me – just like a horse.

"Hold on to the front." Professor Smith instructed from behind. "Grip it tightly."

"Why?" I asked nervously.

I felt her dig her heels in behind me. A second later, I realized her words had very valid reasoning.

There was a snort, and suddenly, we were in the air, leaving the ground behind alarmingly fast.

I threw myself forward onto the invisible mass and hung on for dear life. The wind whistled past my ears and hair, making my eyes stream. But as we glided along smoothly, I realized that it wasn't so bad. In fact, it was better than riding a broomstick, which I had done twice. Both times, I had crashed.

"This is awesome!" I yelled.

Professor Smith nudged her heels again into the flanks, and barely a minute after the flight had begun, we were circling in a slow descent. The thestral landed lightly and gracefully before a small brick building with wide glass windows. Professor Smith hopped down easily and assisted me. I heard the whoosh of air that meant the thestral must have taken off again.

"Will we get back the same way?" I asked breathlessly, the sweet pounding of my adrenaline making me want more.

Professor Smith looked amused. "If you'd like. I thought it might be too much for you, but my nephew mentioned you had an aptitude for challenges. And flying."

"Your nephew?"

"Sean Locke."

My jaw dropped. "You're his _aunt_?"

"What?" She said, eyes twinkling. "Can't see the family resemblance?"

Actually, I could. Because of the picture of Sean in my room, I could identify the same heart-shaped face, the same long, well-defined nose, and the same chestnut-brown hair shot through with red tinges.

Professor Smith tapped a single brick in an odd, but clearly purposeful, pattern. She waited a moment before turning the brass knob and pushing open the door.

Instead of the tiny two-roomed meeting hall, the Queen's Hall had suddenly become a gigantic auditorium. We stood on the terrace, looking down over the front rows of chairs and onto a magnificent stage with ceiling-length red curtains. Looming behind us were two towering balconies.

I had only been to the Queen's Hall once, to see the Snow Queen, when I was Naomi's age. Bellinghall was known across the country as the home of the best auditorium in Great Britain, but it had stood vacant for the past six months after the owner had put it on the market, sparking a war between several buyers and placing the usage in limbo. Even now, small motes of dust kicked up as we walked towards the stage.

"My sister, Rose Locke, works in the Ministry, like your father." Professor Smith informed me. "She designs buildings around the country for wizards and witches. She also happens to be best friends with the Head of Architectural Security." She winked. "Which means that I had a free, all-access pass to the Hall."

I walked around slowly, craning my neck to see into the high, domed ceiling of the hall, where a night sky glittered.

"This is amazing." I whispered.

"You'll find that this is an excellent place to really allow yourself to try your strengths." Professor Smith continued, striding confidently onto the gleaming stage, waving her wand to pull back the heavy crimson curtains. "Have you considered drama club at Hogwarts?"

"Not really." I admitted, trying to guess how many seats the hall sat. "I don't really have time. I study and hang out with my friends."

"You ought to consider it." She said. "Come. I would like you to demonstrate a few basic Charms for me on stage."

Despite the obvious fact that the auditorium was empty, my legs suddenly turned to jelly as I slowly ascended the stairs. I looked out onto the thousands-strong seats, filled with nothing but air, and felt dizzy.

"Don't worry about that." She said dismissively. "You'll soon appreciate the grandeur of our training place. First, I would like you to demonstrate a Shield Charm."

Swallowing hard, I circled my wand and made a slashing motion. "_Protego!" _ I cried, and an iridescent blue sphere flashed over me. It vanished a moment later.

Professor Smith nodded approvingly. "Excellent. That is a fourth year benchmark. Professor Flitwick wasn't boasting of your skills; he was accurately reporting them."

I blushed.

Professor Smith paced around the stage, wand behind her back. "What other spells do you know?"

"Um…" I racked my brain. "Charms?"

"Anything."

I frowned. "I know how to Disarm… Stupefy…"

She raised a brow. "Have you used it? The Stunning Spell? Outside of class?"  
I thought of James and Sirius, of Folsom. "Yes." I admitted.

"Not to worry, I'm not here to punish you." She turned and reversed direction. "What do you know about vampires?"

Coldness dropped into the empty pit of my stomach. I realized I'd forgotten my bagged lunch at home on the kitchen table.

"I know they're immortal." I recalled. "But they're not invincible. They can't starve to death; they'll only get weaker without a blood meal. It takes three bites from a vampire to change a victim into a vampire too. They burn in sunlight and will turn to ashes. A wooden stake through the heart can kill them. Holy water, crosses, and garlic burn them. They can't enter a building uninvited."

"They also don't have reflections, no heartbeat, are immune to disease, enjoy extreme pleasures, and are undead." Professor Smith continued. Of course, there is much, much more than that, but that kind of material you'll be learning with me at the end of this school year in the classroom. What you do need to know is the basics, and why they are so dangerous to you, but not to Remus. Not nearly as much, I should say."

I frowned. "He tried to attack both of us, though. I don't understand."

Professor Smith sighed. "I knew Mackenzie wouldn't convey this kind of information to his students… considering it would be detrimental to his safety." She pointed to a painting of a moon hanging over a dark lake hanging near the stage. "Remus, being a werewolf, cannot be infected with the same virus that causes the body to transform into the undead parasite we know as the vampire. For the vast majority of the time, Remus, and any other werewolf, can live a normal human life. Except for that special little time of the month, when the moon is full. Something about the strength of the lunar beams triggers something in their infected DNA to cause a massive transformation. Of course, our information is still very limited, but several alchemists have been trying to find solutions or cures for many years. Have you heard of Marcus Belby?"

"I can't say that I have." I admitted, reeling from the information, but drinking it in. It explained so much about Remus, and about Folsom.

"He's been studying lycanthropy for most of his career. You're not supposed to know this, since it's Ministry-sensitive information, but he very well could have a potion that relieves many of the symptoms of becoming a werewolf."

"What does this have to do with Folsom, though?" I pressed, feeling the first surges of frustrations. "How come he's safe from Folsom and I'm not?"

"Because," Professor Smith said, hardly looking annoyed, but rather, invigorated at the questions, "he can't harm a werewolf. He can injure them, certainly, but unless he has silver bullets, he can't. And since vampires are highly allergic to silver-"

"They are?" I interrupted.

"Yes. It's part of the physiological changes they undergo as becoming a vampire. Vampires virtually cannot kill werewolves. And even though there is a well-known animosity between the two species, it's quite clear that vampires fear werewolves more than werewolves fear them. There are many ways to kill vampires, but unfortunately, I think Folsom may have eliminated many of those methods."

"He can't be killed by sunlight." I realized aloud. "When I was in…"

I shut my mouth quickly, heart pounding. I had been a second from admitting that I had been in Sirius's kitchen, dining with Folsom and Orion Black. That information had to remain exclusively within the Marauders. There was no telling how much trouble I (or Sirius) would be in if it came to light.

I cleared my throat loudly to try and cover my near-blunder. "I've noticed that in class, he avoids sunlight. He usually has classes only at night. I thought he was allergic, like, _deathly_ allergic, to sunlight, but I think he isn't harmed by it."

"Not anymore." Professor Smith confirmed. "Unfortunately, Folsom was a very close friend… well, partner, of Voldemort."

I lifted a brow. "You don't fear the name?"

"Do you?" She replied shrewdly.

I considered this; the label of a faceless evil that I had never met, and never hoped to cross paths with. "Not really."

"Good. As my former teacher once told me… 'fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself'."

"Wise words." I muttered.

"Folsom and Voldemort, in school, were very interested in the Dark Arts. There were nasty incidents at our school when I attended with them. It cultivated in that poor girl, Myrtle Warren, being murdered in my fifth year. Most of the incidents ceased after that… or just were very hushed up." Her gaze was trained on some spot faraway, her eyes glassy. "I'm afraid that the same sort of thing may be beginning again at Hogwarts. History tends to repeat itself when we don't learn from it the first time."

I digested this, trying to imagine how much worse things could get at Hogwarts. So far, the gang of Slytherin boys hadn't bothered us any further. But even young Regulus had tried to use an Unforgiveable Curse on me… and that meant an instant life term in Azkaban. And with ruthless Barty Crouch slowly rising through the Ministry… As Dad had said, his co-worker would be brutal enough to send a child like Naomi to the prison, if he suspected her of anything related to the Dark Arts.

I shivered at the thought. Professor Smith was watching me.

"I hope I haven't told you too much." She said after a moment.

I shrugged, trying to show that this new information hadn't shaken me inside. "It's alright. I guess I had to learn this sometime. Especially since I'm a special case, and all."

"Indeed." Professor Smith tapped her wand against her thigh. "Can you think of anything that might drive away a vampire, aside from a werewolf?"  
I thought hard. "Wooden stakes, holy water, garlic, crosses, sunlight, werewolves…" I frowned. "But how many of those are effective against him?"  
"Like I said," Professor Smith murmured, "Folsom was close with Voldemort. I'm sure those two figured out several defenses against unsavory weaknesses. I know for certain that Mackenzie was always aspiring for immortality… whereas Tom was more focused on proving himself. We all thought he would become the next Minister of Magic by thirty years old."

Tom. His name, before he had changed it.

She sighed again. "I have a theory… and it just may work… and Dumbledore agrees with me, that perhaps, like Inferi, vampires fear light and warmth. Fire, and happiness. Vampires have much in common with Dementors. It hasn't been proven in every case… in fact, less than half of all attempts failed… but I think Mackenzie may be one of the suseceptible ones."

"To what?" I pressed, intrigued.

Professor Smith smiled. "The Patronus Charm."

_Patronus Charm… _I had skimmed over the term in a book months ago. And Dad was proficient enough with one that he could use it whenever he needed. Even just to usher horses back into the barn for the night.

I paced eagerly, twirling my wand in my hands, excited. "Can you teach me how to do it?"

Professor Smith looked amused. She tucked a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear. "That's why I'm your summer tutor."

She nodded to the opposite end of the stage. "I want you to remember that producing a Patronus, even a noncorporeal Patronus, is extremely advanced magic. You have some kind of protection from Voldemort with your twin cores, but from Mackenzie… you must be ready to defend your very life. And unfortunately, brings us to where we are today. You must be ready to inflict harm, even kill, to defend your own life. Do you understand?"

Her green gaze was trained so intensely upon me that I felt goosebumps rise on my arms. "Yes." I said solemnly.

"Good." She nodded once in approval. "A Patronus is the projection of your most positive feelings. It is the only form of protection against lethifolds, as well."

"Those horrible things?" I gasped, the memory jumping back at me like a bolt of lightning. "They're like black cloaks, aren't they? And they're half an inch thick. And they're thicker if they've recently eaten a victim…"

I paled at the macabre thought.

Professor Smith was grinning. "The Sorting Hat did well with you. I wouldn't have expected a third year to spout out facts like you do. Keep this up, and you'll win the House Cup for sure."

I grunted agreement. For the past two years running, Gryffindor had won the honor, mostly due to Sirius and James and their flamboyant Quidditch games.

"The Patronus Charm," Professor Smith went on, "is made with a counterclockwise circle, ending in a little flourish like this." She demonstrated. "The Charm is only good for as long as you retain your positive feelings. You cannot surrender to despair."

"Got it." I said, feeling uneasy already. How many happy memories _did _I have? The ugly thought was daunting.

"Don't lose it now." She warned. "Everyone has happy memories they can draw from. It's all a matter of how badly you want it, and how determined you are to get it."

I concentrated hard, racking my memory. There was my first day back at Hogwarts… but Mum hadn't been there to properly send me off, so that wasn't good. I thought of hexing Sirius and James' hair pink, but even though it had been funny at the time, I knew it wouldn't even produce a fart of a Patronus.

"Think hard." She urged.

Memories… so many memories. Most of them were haunted by Virginia and her sickness, or Mum's refusal to be impressed by anything, or Dad's absences, or Naomi's cloistering away from it all. Even at Hogwarts, most of my memories involved studying or being with Remus and Lily and the wilder boys in the Marauders.

But what about a memory that didn't exist? What if I simply imagined a happy thought, real or not?

Several images flitted inside of my mind at once. One of them was Remus pulling me from the lake, and then a second later, holding the sides of the House Cup with Lily in our final year, tying our Houses and each other as top students. Another followed of Mum pulling me into a hug as a child, no sisters or brothers present, telling me I was perfect and the only baby she'd ever need. Then an even stranger one darted in its stead: me, on a silver racing broom, blue Quidditch robes streaming behind me, a maroon Quaffle clutched under my arm as I sped towards the hoops. I shot a goal through a second before our Seeker caught the Snitch, giving Ravenclaw a ten-point margin victory. I landed on the field, immediately swamped by everyone on the Ravenclaw team, and a moment later was caught up in the arms of an opposing player… Sean Locke. He grinned down at me and kissed me soundly on the lips. And the strangest thing of all happened: when Sean pulled back to gaze lovingly at me, it was Remus's face, not Sean's, that stared back at me.

I shook my head twice, trying to dislodge the startling and completely unexpected thoughts. I coughed once, fanning my flaming face, as Professor Smith let out a chuckle.

"To be thirteen again." She said soundly. "Let's see what you've got."

Face burning, I raised my wand and paused a moment before I made the hand movement. "You haven't told me the incantation."

"Oh, yes." Professor Smith said. "Forgive me. It's _Expecto Patronum_. Loudly, clearly, and confidently."

Swallowing against the tightness in my throat, I tried to linger on those exhilarating feelings without dwelling on the thoughts that had produced them. I gave my wand a circular flourish and said, "_Expecto Patronum_."

There was a bubble of silver gas, but nothing else.

"Try again." Professor Smith encouraged. "It takes practice."

Trying to steady my nerves, I tried again. But the second attempt yielded only a few white sparks. My face filled with shame and embarrassment. Spells had always come so naturally to me, especially Charms. This was a new and unwelcome defeat.

"Don't give up." Professor Smith said, trying to bolster my confidence as I let my wand arm droop. "We have the whole summer to practice."

"What if he comes after me?" I said quickly, alarmed.

She pursed her lips. "He would be unwise to try. Dumbledore has assigned me to guard you, and I have always placed necessary protections around your home. Vampires can't enter a place uninvited. Additionally, Dumbledore himself placed protections upon you that Folsom can't hope to skirt. For now… you are safe."

"For now." I echoed hollowly.

Professor Smith nodded to me after a moment. "Try again."

I glanced at her own wand, still filled with trepidation. "Maybe you could show me first?"

She blinked, surprised. "You want me to show you?"

Feeling stupider by the minute, I nodded glumly.

"Not at all an issue." She said swiftly. "It's been awhile since I've produced one. But let me try."

She waved her own wand and said very clearly, "_Expecto Patronum!_"

Her voice echoed impressively all around the hall. A huge jet of white, silvery-blue light burst from her wand and wound round and round the room. It was huge, as thick as an oak tree, and as long as the Hogwarts Express. I leapt back in fear, my throat too tight to emit my scream of horror.

The corporeal Patronus circled the air and the Hall ominously, glowing brightly and filling every precipice with its iridescent light. After a minute, it faded into silver, then dark gray, and finally, was gone.

I stared at Professor Smith, pulse beating wildly in my throat. She was watching the spot where the Patronus had gone, and to my surprise, there were tears in her eyes.

"Professor… Professor Smith?" I asked quietly after a long pause of awkward, stony silence. "Are you alright?"

"That's enough training for today." She said faintly, her voice thin and reedy. "Your homework is to keep practicing that Charm. I also want you to please review Animagus and compare them against werewolves."

She sniffled once, and my concern flared inside. I took a step towards her, not sure what to do. "Is there… something I can do?"

She looked away, shaking her head once. "Forgive me, Amber. Sometimes… it's difficult to be a woman, I suppose."

She gave me a watery smile, but it didn't reach her reddening eyes. I followed Professor Smith out of the grand Hall, pausing in the threshold that would take us back into the Muggle realm.

"How are we getting back to the house?" I asked.

"Thestral, if you are alright with that." She replied, sounding distant.

"I am." I said quickly, wanting to get home and allow my teacher privacy to whatever feelings her Patronus had caused. I couldn't tell if it was tears of joy or tears or pain… but from my long summer a year ago with Mum's grief, I had a strong feeling that I had correctly identified her tears as an expression of deep sorrow.

I glanced over my shoulder a final time back into the dim Hall. I wondered if perhaps the shape of her Patronus had upset her, more than anything. After all, how many witches or wizards had a spirit guardian that took the form of the monstrous Basilisk?


	31. A Colony of Dragons

June passed by in a blur of dense fog, chilly air, and intensive lessons. After a month, I still hadn't been able to conjure a Patronus Charm. Professor Smith hadn't offered to demonstrate since the first and only time she had. For whatever reason, the idea seemed to repel her as much as the notion of behaving did to James and Sirius.

Even though my Stunning Spell and Shield Charm were nearly flawless, I still had trouble mastering the difficult skill of Occlumency, which, unfortunately, meant that I was susceptible to anyone who had an intermediate grasp on Legilimency. This was a fact that Professor Smith reminded of annoyingly often.

"Mackenzie Folsom is probably the most skilled Legilimens in the world." She said for the thousandth time as the July sun – more intense that I could remember than any other time in my life – baked us as we flew over the countryside sprawling like a patchwork quilt outside of the village of Bellinghall. "Second only to Voldemort. You really need to keep working at this."

Though invisible, I could still feel the thestral's wings beating as we glided to the base of one of the towering mountains. It was flying at an angle, steadily rising upwards with the slope.

I held on tighter, feeling the hot July air beginning to chill. I gritted my teeth together to keep myself from venting my frustrations at my teacher. Didn't she know how hard I was trying? Didn't she understand how much I understood the reality of my situation? Somethings just didn't click quickly. Other things didn't click at all.

"Amber, please. Don't ignore me. I know this is hard for you. But you must continue to push through this, even if you don't understand all of it yet. Don't quit on me yet."

I rolled my eyes, thankful she couldn't see. The thestral climbed higher, and now goosebumps crawled across my flesh. We were climbing so high that the air was thinning and colder than ever.

"Where are we going?" I called over my shoulder, wishing I had worn a jacket or a sweater.

"To the top." Professor Smith replied.

My brows lifted in surprise, but I decided not to disclose my true feelings about that. I didn't want to annoy a witch who had a basilisk as a Patronus.

The patchy clouds and fog pressed in from all sides, until only the brown ridge was visible. A moment later, the thestral landed gracefully on a rocky ridge. Professor Smith slid off smoothly; I copied her, but stumbled since I didn't see the invisible hoof of the creature as I descended.

She patted the thestral's flank - which looked like just a spot of air - and nodded in approval. I heard the flutter of the wings as it lifted off and disappeared.

"Is it coming back?" I asked doubtfully. "We're not walking down, are we?"

"No, we aren't." Professor Smith said crisply. "Follow me, please."

Frowning, I followed her as she picked her way around rocks and boulders. Some were the size of a throw pillow; others the sizes of baby elephants. It was frigid up here, a slight, constant wind chilling the temperature even further. My teeth chattered slightly. Professor Smith's black cloak billowed out behind her.

"Did you bring a coat?" She asked without looking over her shoulder.

"N-no." I admitted dully.

She halted, glancing over her shoulder. "How good is your Summoning Charm?"

I blinked. "You mean I can do magic outside of school? Without getting into trouble?"

"Dumbledore has already explained your situation to the Ministry of Magic." Professor Smith informed me. "In addition, you are with me."

_Your situation. _She made me sound like some kind of invalid with special needs. Like a straightjacket or heavy medication.

I drew my wand and gave it a flourish. "_Accio sweater!"_

Professor Smith looked over, into the thick white fog, where the ridge dropped off into a steep ravine for hundreds of feet. A few seconds ticked by. My fingers were so numb I couldn't even feel them wrapped around my wand.

"Try again." She suggested, just as a gray shape appeared out of the fog and crashed into me.

I shook my head, startled, and held the gray woolen sweater with my other hand. Professor Smith looked half-amused, half-impressed.

"I guess I got it." I muttered, pulling the sweater over my head, the hood hanging behind my neck. Instantly, my hands regained feeling as heat and warmth gathered underneath the thick wool. I sighed in relief.

"This way." Professor Smith said, resuming her determined pace. I hurried after.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" I panted as I hastened after her.

"I think it would ruin the surprise." Professor Smith answered evasively. "Just wait. And be quiet. Try not to speak. We don't want to alarm it."

Filled with trepidation and annoyance, I closed my mouth as I clambered around thousands of pebbles and rocks. I skirted around a huge boulder, the size of a small house, wand stowed for better balance. We walked in silence, broken only by the clattering rocks disturbed by my feet.

"Are you afraid of heights?" Professor Smith asked quietly after ten minutes.

"No, not really. If I was, I don't think I would have been Sorted into Ravenclaw."

"What makes you say that?" Professor Smith said, slowing down.

"Well… you know." I avoided a charred branch, blackened with soot. "Our House lives in a tower. The tallest one in the school, except for the Astronomy Tower."

Professor Smith didn't reply. She was definitely slowing her pace. And she looked much more cautious.

"Amber," she said in a low voice, "I want you to stay behind me. Or beside me. Do not go before me."

This was definitely not what I signed up for when I agreed to summer lessons. But instead of letting fear overwhelm me, I swallowed against the dryness in my throat and nodded. "I understand."

"Good." She drew her wand. "You know the Water Making Spell?"

"Yes, of course." I said immediately, confused by where she was going with this.

She gave her a wand a small flick. Immediately, the thick white clouds lifted.

My jaw dropped open.

We were standing just fifty feet from the lip of a massive cliff that plunged well over half a mile down. It curved in a half-arc, broken rocks and straggling vines clinging to the face of the steep cliff. Beneath the mountain face, a wide, green valley spread like a blanket between the mountain we stood on and another looming one, miles away. The clouds and fog swirled around swiftly, repelled by some kind of spell that Professor Smith had cast.

The view was incredible and terrifying, but that was not what had driven all thought from my mind.

Perched and gliding on the cliff face were several green shapes. Winged green shapes.

Dragons.

"You see why I asked you to be careful?" Professor Smith said.

I could only gape.

I watched as a dragon flapped its wings and perched on a treacherous outcropping of rocks. Distantly, there was a tiny chorus of chirping and squealing.

I approached Professor Smith on leaden legs. "Are those…"

"Baby dragons. Yes. These are a colony of dragons that have been placed here by the Ministry of Magic. Can you tell me what species they are?"

I stared at the dragons, trying to count them. There were at least twenty, flying in and out of sight, landing and taking off again.

"Common Welsh Greens." I answered, still stunned. "I didn't know they could survive in Scotland."

"Dragons exist around the world." Professor Smith said. "And Welsh Greens prefer higher elevations, such as the Grampian Mountains. The climate here isn't much different from Wales."

"I never knew." I breathed. "I mean, we're not far from Bellinghall, are we?"

"Only about fifteen miles." She said. "They're under protection and conservation, so this information is usually kept from the wizarding public. However, I thought it would make for a nice field trip. Part of Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't just spellwork. It's also about identifying dangerous creatures and knowing how to defend yourself from them, or how to harness their power. Do you know where a dragon's vulernability is?"

A large green dragon swooped in front of the ledge, barely fifty feet from us, soaring upwards. It let out an earth-shaking, melodic roar.

"I… uh…" I blinked, entranced. "The eyes are weak points. But so is the throat. They're fireproof. I can't really think of anything else."

"That's because dragons are notorious for having extremely few vulnerabilities." Professor Smith said as a dragon coasted above us like a jet plane, its underbelly clearly visible. It ejected a jet of blue-orange flames over the ravine.

I swallowed nervously, awed by the dragons, but also fearing for my life. What would stop them from realizing that we were made of tasty flesh?

"When it's cloudy and cool, they tend not to hunt." Professor Smith went on, watching the dragons without a hint of fear. "I've also put an Invisibility Charm over us. They can smell, but with the wind, they won't be able to pinpoint our location."

Another dragon passed overhead, so close that I could see the tiny black slit of its pupil.

"I think they know we're here." I eeked out.

"I'm sure they do." She answered calmly. "But we're safe. We can always Apparate, if they do manage to find us."

I turned and stared at her. She gave a small smile without glancing back. "Do you think I'm a dragon too, Amber?"

"No." I answered. "I just think you're a little too… _bold_... for a Hufflepuff."

She laughed once. "That isn't the first time I have been told that. Several professors and students told me I would have been an excellent Slytherin."

"No kidding." I muttered. I watched the dragons flit around for a few more minutes, the wind whipping my long hair into my eyes. "Professor Smith… why did you bring me here, again? Just to observe them?"

She nodded. "Partly. I also want you to think about the world you live in. You live in a small town in Scotland. You grew up there. But there are many secrets waiting to be discovered that you didn't have an inkling about until today. Think about Hogwarts. What kinds of secrets lie in wait for you there?"

I frowned. "Are you trying to tell me that I should go looking for tunnels and secret rooms at Hogwarts?"

"I'm trying to tell you to look beyond what you think you know. My lessons with you will only last a few more weeks. Soon I will have not just a few students, but hundreds, to teach. For example, what would you do if Mackenzie showed up on your third day back at school? What if you were alone on the grounds?"

My mind reeled. "I would use the Patronus Charm-"

"Which you still haven't mastered." Professor Smith interrupted. "What else? What are his weak points?"

I thought hard. Definitions and vocabulary terms swam up at me from the recesses of my mind. "Uh… I would stay in the sunshine."

"Which he isn't affected by anymore." She said swiftly. "What else?"

My palms began to sweat. I hadn't thought about Folsom in over a week. I had been too focused on lessons and trying fruitlessly to learn the Patronus Charm. "I'll wear a cross around my neck to keep him from biting me."

Professor Smith gave a small grimace. "That's not enough. Come on, Amber. What have I been teaching you all of these weeks?"

My frustration built as I realized that this outing hadn't just been a field trip. It had also been a test.

"I would use Occlumency."

"Against one of the most powerful Legilimens in the world?"

"I don't know!" I snapped. "What else is this? A wooden stake? I don't know!"

Professor Smith leaned back, regarding me with those calculating, shrewd green eyes. I glared back, before turning my attention back to the dragons. "I don't know, alright? I don't know. He's immune to almost everything. I would… I would probably die if he found me."

"Do you see why I brought you here now?" Professor Smith said seriously. "Dragons, like vampires, are very powerful creatures. Mackenzie happens to be an exceptional vampire in the ways that he has eliminated most of his vulnerabilities. But even dragons have their weak points."

"Folsom is afraid of werewolves." I said aloud. "He can't touch a werewolf."

"Maybe." She said dismissively. "But that's not good enough. Remus Lupin won't always be by your side. You haven't seen him in over a month. Has he written to you?"

My cheeks warmed. "No, he hasn't. What does that have to do with anything?"  
"It has everything to do with it." Professor Smith swept on, looking extremely stern. "Just because it is illegal to read owl post, doesn't mean some wizards and witches don't do it. I believe Mackenzie is fixated on you and is waiting for you to become vulnerable. And if he knows that Remus Lupin isn't in your company, he _will _wait for a chance to strike. And he isn't the kind to be merciful."

Her tone and abrupt switch from an exhilarating field trip to a terrifying dose of reality made my head spin and palms sweat. I wiped them off on my pants, wishing I had something to drink for my desert-dry mouth. "So what do I do?" I asked dully. "It sounds like I have a death sentence."

"The enemy never has the final say, as long as you're still willing to fight for what is right." Professor Smith urged. "Don't give in. This is why it is crucial for you to master the Patronus Charm. For now, it seems that that is your only real protection from Mackenzie. Like how a dragon has many protections, one of its forms of defense is that it is immune to burns and flames. My job is to do the same for you. Make you fireproof."

I raised my gaze to the dragons, feeling despair drown out every positive feeling or memory I would need to conjure even a noncorporeal Patronus. "I don't know why I can't. I'm so good with Charms. It doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't." Professor Smith agreed. I could feel her green gaze pierce me as I looked back at her. "Is there something I need to know?"

I stared back blankly. "Like what?"

"For example, have you ever murdered someone?"

In spite of myself, cold horror washed over me. My mouth dropped open. "No… no! Of course not! Why would you even say that to me? I'm _twelve_."

"Voldemort was ten when he murdered his first victim." Professor Smith said coolly. "Have you ever done something that violated the laws of nature? Is there something you are guilty of that renders you incapable of producing a pure spirit guardian?"

I stared at her, completely insulted by her point-blank implications. "I can't believe this." I snapped. "This is so stupid. You're accusing me of evil things! I would _never_, ever murder someone or torture them! Or do something that 'renders me incapable' of making a Patronus!"

She pursed her lips. "What if it was by accident?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I shook my head, to clear it. Maybe I was hallucinating from the high altitude. Maybe I was hearing this because I was crazy.

But Professor Smith wasn't backing down. "Amber, this is serious. Your life could be in jeopardy because of something you're withholding. In order to produce a Patronus, you must have a pure heart. I'm not doing this to interrogate you or have you spill your darkest secrets. You don't have to confess anything to me. However," she said, and she held up a hand to signify the importance of her next words, "you _must _look within yourself and do some soul-searching, for lack of a better term. Is there anything in your life that you've done that you feel responsible for, or guilty for, that ended in something unpleasant or evil?"

I turned away from my teacher, fuming. And sick to my stomach.

"No." I said firmly. "I can't believe you'd even ask such a thing."

I expected her to explode with rage, like Mum would, and call me out for my insolence and attitude. I expected her to pitch me over the ledge and let the dragons fight over me. I expected her to be angry. To say something.

But she didn't do anything of those things. She watched me again in silence for a long moment that dragged out, until my heartbeat was racing in my ears and saliva filled my mouth. Then she gave a simple nod.

"Very well. But I must impress upon you the seriousness of the situation. You are twelve, but you are also almost thirteen. You are no longer a child, Amber. You aren't an adult, either, but you must grow. I am not your mother or family, but I am your teacher, and I was appointed to protect you and teach you. Some lessons are hard to learn, no matter how much we are willing to negate the pain."

I watched a pair of green dragons circling each other in the air, a double helix of competitiveness. I folded my arms across my pounding chest, trying not to show her how much her inquiry had shaken me. "So you're saying that if I can't figure out how to conjure a Patronus before Folsom is defeated…"

I watched one dragon slash viciously at the other. There was a flash of red from the neck of the dragon, and then it went still. It fell, its limp wings fluttering in the breeze as it disappeared out of sight over the edge of the cliff.

"Then you might die." She said.

I thought of Virginia, gone at barely eleven years old, her life sapped by the illness that had taken over her body like a parasite. And, finally, when she had been on the mend, she had died as suddenly as a candle being extinguished. And it had been my fault.

All my fault.

I shut my eyes tightly, pursing my lips together so hard that they stung with pain. I didn't want to admit the horrible truth. Maybe that was the reason why I couldn't produce a Patronus. I didn't want to admit to anyone, not even God, that it had been my doing that caused Virginia to die.

I would rather die than confess it.

Professor Smith cleared her throat. "In the meanwhile, since you are still learning how to produce a Patronus Charm, let's switch gears. Can you tell me how to differentiate between a werewolf and an Animagus?"

"Do we really have to do this today?" I said wearily. Thinking of Virginia and sealing off my guilt to fester inside made me tired and feeling old. I sat on a boulder and watched the dragons, constantly in motion, always on the move.

Professor Smith gazed down at me. "We can finish for the day, if that is what you wish."

"It is." I hunched my shoulders against the cold, which pierced through my sweater to my core.

Professor Smith waved her wand once. "We'll be flying down."

I looked up in mild surprise. "How? Thestral?" My eyes traveled to the dragons roaring and gliding nearby. "We aren't flying on those, are we?"

She laughed once. "Only if you wanted to die. Dragons can't be ridden. The last wizard to ride one was eaten alive. No, wizards and witches can't ride dragons. It's suicide."

I shrugged, but the thought stuck. There was a way out, if I ever needed one. A quick, terrifying, exciting, fatal ride on a dragon. Just fifteen miles from home.

Two broomsticks zoomed up the side of the mountain and halted, slightly quivering, by Professor Smith's sides. She mounted the one to her left and indicated to the vacant one. "Climb aboard."

I approached, filled with misgivings. The last time I had ridden a broomstick, I had wound up in the infirmary for a whole day.

"It's just like riding a thestral." Professor Smith assured me. "And if you fall, I will catch you."

Already, my palms were sweating again. "But we're so high up."

She shrugged. "If I don't catch you, the dragons will. Come on."

Heart pounding again, I climbed aboard the second broom. I gripped the handle tightly, until my knuckles stood out, white, against my pale skin.

Professor Smith took off down the slope. Her charm had worked, because the dragons were blind to us. I watched her disappear down the flank of the mountain, and wanted to cry. I was so high up that I knew if I fell, I would surely die.

But she said she would catch me. Besides, riding a thestral hadn't been so bad. Being in the air, flying, was more of a thrill than anything I'd ever experienced in life.

Still.

I was so high up that I could see for miles, until the thick clouds blocked the landscape from view. It was beautiful, and I knew that in the fall months, the foliage would be incredible to behold.

But now, I was alone and unprepared.

I took a final steadying breath. _Be brave, Gryffindor. _The Ravenclaw half of me screamed in protest as I guided the broom forward slowly, toes brushing against the rocks, approaching the terrifying plunge at the lip of the cliff. _This is not smart. This is bad. This is stupid! Don't do it!_

But the other half of me won over.

_Do it. Bravery in the face of danger is more courageous than words._

I shut my eyes and tipped over the edge.

The wind screamed in my face, blasting my hair back and whistling in my ears. I quickly reached maximum velocity and let out a squeak of fear through my tightened throat. The rocks blurred past my vision, which streamed with tears from the force of the wind. My hands clenched the handle so hard that I lost all feeling below the elbow. I was horribly aware of how I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

_God, God! I don't want to die! Oh, God!_

But after a few seconds, I realized that I was still alive. Even though my heartbeat was pulsing through my body like a war drum and I could hardly see, the weightlessness and freedom was beginning to override the ghastly sensation of falling.

I wasn't falling. I was _flying._

With leaden arms, I slowly raised the handle of the broomstick. The broomstick obeyed my motion and pulled upwards. I let out a little scream of fright and quickly guided it back down. The broomstick leveled out. Now, instead of diving almost straight-down, I was gliding horizontally. I let out a huge breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. I was extremely grateful for the thick white clouds that passed between me and the ground, so that I couldn't always see how high up I was.

_Just keep holding down. Stay in control. Stay in control!_

If I lost control, I would fall off or crash.

I drifted forward for almost a minute before a black shape hovered beside me. Professor Smith grinned as she edged closer. I pulled away in alarm, afraid that we would collide, but she shook her head and nodded encouragingly.

"You're doing great!" She yelled, and I was surprised to see how youthful and carefree she looked on a broomstick, flying in the air. It took almost ten, even fifteen years, off of her face.

I gave a hesitant smile, which felt more like a maniacal grin.

She pointed down with one hand. I felt sick watching her take one hand off the handle. My hands felt like they had become part of the broom, they were clamped on so tightly.

"Slowly descend!" She instructed. "Follow me! We'll land in the field behind your house!"

I felt dizzy with the thought. "What if I crash?!" I half-choked, half-screamed, because the moment I opened my mouth, a bug shot straight through to the back of my throat.

"I'll cushion your fall!" She told me, and then slowly descended in a diagonal line.

Heart in my throat and amazed that the dragons hadn't scented me and realized I was a sitting (well, flying) duck, I copied Professor Smith and pushed down on the handle. The broom sank into a dive again, and I bit back another scream.

_Stay in control!_

The wisps of clouds blasted past as I slowly spiraled in a descent. The circular motions seemed to put an invisible brake on the velocity of the broom. Agonizingly, I controlled the broom into somewhat-slow spirals, thinking of the two dragons that had been fighting in a similar fashion.

At last, the clouds parted and I saw land again. I was only fifty feet from the ground.

Professor Smith was waiting, hovering. When I spotted her, she waved once and expertly guided her broomstick to the ground. She nodded encouragingly.

Face pale with strain, I slowed the broom even more until it was almost immobile in the sky, and painstakingly eased it down. Forty feet. Thirty. Twenty. Ten.

The ground rose up to meet me. My feet slammed into the earth and I lurched forward, stumbling, but I didn't fall off my broom.

Professor Smith was clapping. She looked fiercely determined and proud. Wisps of her chestnut hair had pulled free of her bun and stood out around her head like a halo. "Excellent, excellent, Amber! Really excellent! You just flew on a broom alone down a mountain!"

"Great." I managed feebly, my throat still tight. My hands trembled hard.

She looked amused. "You can let go of the handle."

Blushing, I released the broom. My hands were curled into claws and aching with the stress of gripping the handle.

She nodded approvingly. "You overcame your fear and stayed in control. That kind of attitude and mindset will serve you very well as a witch. That is the kind of determination you will need to conjure your Patronus."

I was hardly listening. I was more focused on keeping myself from vomiting all over her shoes.

"Your teaching style is… a little unconventional." I managed at last, the thrill of adrenaline making me feel like a tuning fork.

She grinned, revealing her perfect teeth. "So I've been told. Great work today, Amber. Really. I'm very proud of you. Please continue to practice your Patronus and your other assigned homework. Animagus, Veritaserum, you know."

Dazed, I nodded as Romulus came tearing into the field from the barn, barking furiously. I could hear chickens squawking in fright and the horses squealing.

"Why do they always do that when you come to my house?" I muttered, as Romulus crashed into my jelly-like legs and covered me with licks.

Professor Smith shrugged. "I have a way with animals, I suppose. Or I don't." She mounted her broom again. "I will see you in a few days. Take a break from lessons. Keep practicing."

She kicked off from the ground and shot like a bullet into the air. Romulus exploded into a flurry of barks again, circling around me. There was a loud scream of fury from our rooster.

I shook my head, my hand still on the broom that Professor Smith had summoned. In spite of the fear, the flight had been exhilarating. Exciting. Scary. But it felt… right.

What was the matter with me?

I marched slowly toward the little yellow bungalow, broom in one hand, dog on the other side, keeping pace. I couldn't produce a Patronus, but I could come within feet of dragons. I was terrified of heights without barriers, but I _liked _flying.

_I'm a Hatstall_. I thought to myself as I moved my aching, shaky legs. _I'm intelligent, _and_ brave._

I watched as Dad threw a pile of dead grass and leaves onto a small bonfire near the edge of the field. He wiped his brow and added a large branch to the pile. The flames belched black smoke that rose into the thick white overhanging fog. Hidden from our view on the warm ground were the colony of roaring dragons.

If I couldn't produce a spirit animal guardian, then maybe I could become an animal myself. An Animagus. I _would _learn the Patronus Charm.

Even if I died trying.


	32. Knockturn Alley

Lessons began to blur together. July slipped into August. Remus had sent fewer letters each week, until by second week of August, I hadn't heard from him in almost a month. Lily, on the other hand, sent so many letters so often that Soren couldn't keep up. A second owl, Eris, was employed by Lily to keep up the communication between us. We never seemed to run out of things to talk about, especially on Lily's end. Over the summer, she voiced her concerns about Petunia's gradual distancing and cold shouldering. She and I traded summer reading lists and opinions on boys. Remus's name frequently entered the letters, as well as Severus'. According to Lily, he didn't have a pleasant homelife and sent her more letters than I did.

_His parents don't even realize what they're doing to him. _She wrote one time, distraught. _I can feel him changing. He's starting to branch out to some unsavory people. He told me the other day that he went to Knockturn Alley with Mulciber and Avery during the summer. It's such a dodgy place! Sev doesn't belong in a place like that, or in a group like them._

Even though I had told her there wasn't much she could do other than voice her concerns to him directly, Lily wasn't giving up. Her concern for Severus was stronger than mine was for Remus. Not only had the flow of his letters ebbed, but they had noticeably shortened and sounded colder. Like he was pushing me away.

I tried not to let it bother me too. After all, hadn't I had a rotten summer of my own last year when I'd lost Virginia?

The familiar pang of guilt twisted in my stomach, but I was learning to ignore it. After more than a year of living with her death, I was making room for my share of the blame. I refused to confide in anyone about what I had done. I didn't care what Remus had told me last year in the Shrieking Shack. Hagrid wouldn't have made up such a dark tale about a Whomping Willow. I knew the day Virginia died that it was my doing.

_Stop_. I thought crossly. _This isn't getting you anywhere. Move on with your life. _

How could I? Would I always carry this secret, this scarlet letter hidden underneath layers of denial and pretending?

August was winding down in a haze of warm sun and long days of working outside with the animals and crops. We had enough corn and pumpkins to get us through fall and even sell to make a profit. The last day of August, Mum told me it was time for an annual exursion into Diagon Alley to replenish my school supplies.

"I can go alone, you know." I told her over breakfast. I hardly touched the scrambled eggs and biscuits. "I don't need a babysitter. I'm thirteen now."

"Aye, but you've only been thirteen for ten days." Mum said from the kitchen, stacking clean dishes and plates into the cupboards. Her long brown hair hung free from its normal French braid. It was beautiful, dark, and wavy. I was jealous of it. My own long dark blonde hair looked more like a wild lion's mane than anything that belonged on a teenage girl's head.

I rolled my eyes. "I've gone alone, you know. Last year I did, and I was fine."

Mum put her plate down a little too roughly. The clanging noise echoed around the kitchen. She stared at me, her blue eyes huge.

"You did?" She said increduously.

Of course. She wouldn't have remembered. She had been cocooned in her bedroom, rendered useless by her grief.

I shrugged. "Yeah. And I was fine. Honestly, Mum, it's not a big deal. I'm a teenager now." I had been one for ten whole days, but I didn't feel any different. All I knew was that teenagers had fun. They could go out without their parents and go to dances. They wore make-up and cool outfits. Being a teenager was like being a millionaire or a movie star.

Mum let out a sigh. "Tell you what. If you let me and Naomi-"

"_And _Naomi?" I groaned.

"Yes." Mum swept on. "We can buy your birthday present."

I eyed my mother warily. "But I already got my gifts." My birthday, as usual, had been a quiet affair. Naomi had given me another painting. Dad had given me four Galleons in a check, to be deposited into my vault at Gringotts or spent at my leisure. Mum had given me a simple silver ring with two hands holding a heart. A Claddagh Ring.

"You don't think you'll need me to help you?"

"I don't know." I said evasively, already feeling lame as I thought of my hen-like mother and clingy sister tailing me through every store in Diagon Alley. "I'd really prefer to go alone."

Mum shrugged. "Alright. Well, I need to pick up a few books at Flourish and Botts. Light reading. So how about me and Naomi accompany you, but we promise not to embarrass you. Sound fair?"

I studied her face for a moment. A year after her favorite daughter's death, there wasn't a sign of grief or despair in her aged face. But, Virginia's pictures had also disappeared from the house. Mum was moving on by removing her from memory. Or so it seemed. Maybe Dad had done it himself and then cast a Memory Charm on her.

I shivered, trying to redirect my thoughts in a more positive direction. I offered Mum a half-smile. "Deal."

Mum came over and patted my hand. "Aye, that's my good girl." She turned and walked away, her heels clacking on the hardwood floors. "Naomi! Get your clothes on, love! We're going shopping in Diagon Alley."

There was a flurry of excited movement from upstairs. I rose from the table and brought my uneaten breakfast to the trash. Mum blocked my path, raising a brow. "Eat."

"Not hungry." I tried to brush past her.

Mum shook her head, hands on her hips. "Eat half, and you can go."

Rolling my eyes, I forced down one biscuit and a few forkfuls of lukewarm eggs. "Good?"

Mum nodded approvingly and took my dish. I glanced at her for a moment, wondering what she would think if she knew I was the reason why Virginia wasn't here anymore, and climbed up the stairs to the second floor landing. Photographs of my family smiled and waved at me as I passed, but I ignored them and headed directly into my bedroom. Soren was absent, probably delivering my current message to Lily that I had sent out last night around midnight. I scanned my desk for a sign of anything from Remus, but there was none. Disappointment stabbed me deep in the gut. Lily had sent me a birthday card and my first make-up kit, but Remus had only sent a letter without any fanfare that simply said _Happy Birthday, Amber. _Nothing else.

Charming Remus.

Sighing heavily, I changed into a pair of torn (but clean) blue jeans, a dark green flannel long-sleeve, and brown boots that came up to the midpoint of my shins. I hurried wove my lengthening hair into a fishtail braid and studied my reflection in the floor-length mirror. I bit my lip.

I looked like a hillbilly.

Shrugging, I tugged on my braid and walked down the stairs. Today, I did not care what people thought of me. That was the beauty of being a teenager. Only my opinion mattered. No one else's.

When Mum saw me (as she was dressed in cerulean-blue traveling robes), she raised her brows again. "Are you sure you want to go like that?" She said delicately.

"Yup." I said stoutly, blowing out a huge pink gum bubble and snapping it loudly.

Mum pursed her lips but didn't push it.

Naomi bounced down the stairs in a green jumper and her brown hair, matching Mum's exactly, half-up, half-down. She grinned when she saw me.

"Wow, Amber! You look like a Muggle!"

"That's the point." I said airily. Naomi looked at me with shining eyes, and I loved knowing it pleased her as much as it annoyed my mother.

"Right." Mum said after a moment. "Let's go. Floo Powder sounds good."

"No Portkey this time?" I asked as I took a handful of green soot from the jar, instantly remembering doing the very same thing in McGonagall's office just months before, disguised as Regulus Black.

"No. Floo Powder's not as… nauseating." Mum said as she copied me. Naomi took some of Mum's in her smaller hands.

I walked forward into the hearth and thought about thestrals and broomsticks. How much more exciting and beautiful it would have been to _fly _to London.

"Amber?" Mum said. "Are you going?"

I raised my brows. "Where's the fire?"

Naomi snorted.

I threw down my handful and said clearly, "Diagon Alley."

The rush of green flames licked harmlessly at my body. They obscured my vision and my living room. An instant later, they died down to feeble cinders, revealing the cobblestoned streets and high brick walls of Diagon Alley. I stepped out of the large public hearth, blinking in the harsh urban sun, dazzling with the city haze from London. Crowds of witches and wizards walked by, most of them deep in conversation, almost all of them wearing flowing cloaks or dark clothes that resembled lethifolds. Only I was dressed like a Muggle, starkly contrasting with the population of magical folk. Many of them gave me curious or annoyed looks as they passed. I snapped my gum loudly, my wand clearly visible from my belt to prove that I was a witch and not a wayward Muggle.

Mum and Naomi stumbled out behind me a moment later. They were squinting in the bright sunlight too. Naomi brushed soot from her robes.

"Well." Mum said matter-of-factly. "I knew you'd look silly."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't really care, Mum. If you hadn't noticed, I don't care what others think of me. Unlike some people." I eyed her for a moment longer than what was considered polite.

Mum put her hands on her hips.

"Sorry." I said, half-honest. "I'm going now. I'll meet you two for lunch in three hours at the Gold Fairy."

"Three hours!?" Naomi exclaimed.

"One hour." Mum revised.

"Two." I said, walking away.

"One and a half!" Mum snapped.

"Fine." I melted into the thickening crowd near the heart of the busy marketplace. Even though I was blatantly dressed as a Muggle, I drew only a few curious looks as I weaved my way through the heavy foot traffic. I spotted many familiar faces from Hogwarts. Students must have had the same idea of replenishing their supplies before term began again.

In my mind, I could see the list of supplies that Professor Flitwick had sent. Many of my books needed to be traded in and replaced with newer editions for my third year grade level. Mum had brought my books herself and would be exchanging them now. Debating only for a moment, I ducked inside of Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor and hurried to the back of the line. A few people sat on the puffy chairs or at tables, talking animatedly while they enjoyed their frozen treats. I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for the line to move faster. It didn't.

"...I wonder where your father's gone off to. Honestly, dear, I don't know why he _had _to go talk to Orion…"

"They're colleagues, Mum. They probably had important things to talk about."

I frowned, listening to the exchange of voices from the couple in front of me. One was a tall boy with a voice that cracked every few words, dropping his voice down to a deep bass. The other was a woman with long dark blonde, brownish hair that hung down to her back.

Why did he sound so familiar?

"What flavor do you want, dear?" the woman asked her taller son. "I'm thinking mint chip."

"Chocolate, obviously." The boy replied, and my mouth fell open.

"_Remus_?"

The boy and woman turned around. I stared up at Remus, every word in my mind scattered to the wind. How was it possible for a person to change so much over the course of a single summer?

He had grown at least five inches, maybe more. His cheekbones were higher and his brow sloped forward more. His hair was a little longer, much messier, like he'd had a rough night's sleep and rolled around often. Remus's green eyes gazed down at me, wide with surprise.

"Amber." He said, his voice flat.

The woman beside him with green eyes - his eyes - and so many of his features, in feminine form, grinned at me. "So _you're _the infamous Amber."

I looked between the two, confused. "Infamous?"

Remus's face filled with color. "_Mum_."

The woman who could only be his mother laughed. It was a lovely, pealing sound that echoed across the parlor. "I'm Hope Lupin, Remus's mother. And you're Amber Harkstone. A Ravenclaw, yes? That's what he called you."

"Oh, my God." Remus moaned, looking at the ceiling.

"Don't mind him." I said to Hope, grinning and extending my hand to shake. "He'll grow on you."

"I hope so." Remus' mother joked. "I've been dealing with him for thirteen years now."

"Mum." Remus said.

We shook hands. She nodded approvingly. "Nice handshake! Wow. I wouldn't want to mess with you. I'm glad someone like you is keeping my boy in line."

Remus looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

I smiled at both of them, feeling strangely high, like I was back on the broom, navigating my way down a mountain after my professor. My insides squirmed at the scent of Remus, a pleasant mixture of soap and sweat and something heavily sweet.

"Well, we're just getting ice cream." Hope went on, nodding encouragingly to Remus. "Can I buy you a cone?"

I grinned sheepishly. "Would you take pity on a poor Hogwarts student?"

"Of course!" Hope cried, suddenly drawing me into an embrace. I hugged back, taken aback. Hope drew back, smiling radiantly and glancing constantly at her son, who looked like a wet cat. "Oh, Remus, she is a _doll_. I'm so glad you have a _female _friend. I've heard quite a bit about those other boys. James and Sirius."

"And Peter." I threw in. "Lily's a friend of Remus's too. She's my best friend."

"Oh, how lovely!" Hope exclaimed, herding me to the counter with Remus. Her green eyes shone with excitement. "This is so wonderful. Lyall will be so sorry he missed this."

I glanced at the list of ice cream flavors, listening to Hope. "Where is he?"

"Oh, that silly man. He works for the Department of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. His co-worker, Orion Black, works at the Ministry, too."

I glanced at Remus with lightning-quick reflexes. He looked back, with a look that said _Be quiet. _Just a few months ago, I had disguised myself as Orion's youngest son and witnessed him speaking to Folsom (who turned out to be a vampire) and Fenrir Greyback (the werewolf who had attacked Remus). I tried not to let my alarm show.

"I didn't know." I lied. "I didn't know that he worked at the Ministry."

"Well," Hope said, taking her mint chip ice cream cone. "I don't get it too much, either."

"Mum's a Muggle." Remus said, taking a bite out of his chocolate ice cream.

"I had no idea!" I said honestly, impressed. Hope was gregarious enough to pass for a highly-educated witch. "And I'd like cookie dough, please."

The attendant handed me my ice cream. "One Galleon." He said.

Hope rummaged through her purse and pulled out a wallet, and shook her head. "Oh, wrong one." She fished out a second wallet and produced a single gold coin, handing it to the young man. "Two wallets for two different currencies. It's saved a lot of questions."

"I believe it." I said as the three of us exited the ice cream parlor and ended up on the streets of Diagon Alley. The crowd had thickened in the five minutes we had been inside. More people were disgorged from the public hearths. The flow of traffic kept us walking slowly in a congested throng of flowing cloaks. Hope had dressed in a skirt and pretty cerulean blouse, clearly marking her as a Muggle. Remus was wearing almost all black, I noticed. It was broken up only by his red and gold Gryffindor tie.

"Why are you wearing that?" I said as I licked my ice cream.

Remus shrugged. "I wanted to."

"It was the only thing that was clean." Hope corrected. "I'm washing everything else of his. He's even wearing his Superman boxers."

Remus turned the color of a tomato. "_Mum_."

I coughed, choking on my ice cream, trying not to picture Remus in just that. "I… um… thanks for sharing?"

Hope burst into laughter. Remus looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out.

I ate more of the ice cream, trying to use the coldness to extinguish the flames in my cheeks, when I spotted her. Willow Smith, my professor, striding through the crowd. She wore all black as usual. Her long scar cut across her once-lovely face, breaking up the loveliness.

I stared after her. Remus noticed and followed my gaze.

"Um, excuse me," I said apologetically. "But I need to talk to her. That witch."

"Oh, no worries, dear." Hope said enthusiastically. "If I don't see you again, it was lovely to meet you! Feel free to send an owl anytime."

"Let's go, _please_." Remus murmured to me, dragging me by the arm into the current of moving people. We quickly lost Hope as we were pulled along by the crowd.

"So," I said, grinning. "That was your mother."

Remus groaned. "And you said yours was bad."

I laughed. "She wasn't bad. She was just… friendly."

Remus rolled his eyes. "She practically married us. I'm sorry, Amber. She's… a handful."  
"Well, I see where you get it from." I said as I took a half-bite of my ice cream. I could see Professor Smith's head from my vantage, but barely.

"Training went well for you?" Remus asked as we tailed her, trying and failing to get closer.

"I guess." I told him quickly how I had become very skilled at most Charms, except for the Patronus Charm, which I still couldn't conjure.

"I've conjured one." Remus informed me, but he didn't look happy about it.

I stared at him. "You _have? _A corporeal one?"

Remus looked uncomfortable. "Yes."

"That's great!" I hugged his arm with my free one, ice cream still in the other. "Can you show me?"

"I'd rather not." Remus said stiffly. "It's… embarrassing."

I frowned. "What, is it a sea sponge? Come on, Remus. Show me!"

But he was firm. He shook his head. "Not until you show me yours."

I rolled my eyes. "Meanie. You're no fun."

Remus smiled a bit, triumphant, and took another nip of his rapidly disappearing ice cream.

"So, how'd your parents meet?" I asked as we pushed closer to Professor Smith, still several yards away.

"Oh. That." Remus grimaced slightly. "My mum was in the woods and came across a Boggart. Dad saved her."

"But Boggarts can't _actually _hurt you." I countered.

Remus shrugged. "Fear defeats people without ever lifting a finger. That's why Boggarts are still dangerous, even if they're just an illusion."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." I grumbled, disliking his argument. "So then what? Did they kiss?"

"I don't know." Remus said, wrinkling his nose. "Dad turned the Boggart into a mushroom and escorted her home. A few months later, they got married. I was born a year later. That's pretty much it." He took another bite of his nearly-gone cone. "What about your family?"

The familiar pang of Virginia's loss twisted inside. I looked away and took a bite of ice cream, which suddenly didn't taste so great. "Well, my parents met at Hogwarts. They were both Hufflepuffs. I think they were Head Boy and Girl. I never really asked, and they don't talk about it much. They married young and had me, Virginia, and Naomi. Dad works for the Ministry of Magic. Mum stays at home to take care of us."

"I see." Remus said delicately, and didn't push the subject further. He was tactful enough to notice how uncomfortable it made me.

I glanced up at Professor Smith, who suddenly dovetailed and disappeared down an unseen passage between two shops. I frowned. It didn't lead anywhere, and it looked dark and gloomy. Not the kind of place a Hogwarts teacher should be going.

"I wonder what she's doing back there." I said.

"Come on." Remus said. "Let's go find out."

"What's wrong with this picture?" I teased as I dumped the rest of my half-eaten ice cream into a wastebin, which burped appreciatively. "Aren't I supposed to be the one who dragoons _you _into trouble?"

"Enjoy the change." Remus said as we pushed our way through the stagnant flow of pedestrians. The alley that Professor Smith had gone down was dark and gloomy. Overlapping roofs blocked out sunlight, casting deep, dusty shadows over the steps descending down and into near darkness.

We were frozen at the top of the stairs. Misgiving filled me. I glanced at Remus, who was now several inches higher than I was. He looked down uncertainly.

"Are you sure?" I said nervously, fingering my wand.

Remus shrugged. "I personally wouldn't mind finding out where she's gone to."

I took a deep breath to steady my accelerating heartbeat. My lungs filled with the mildewy, stale air. I wiped the sweat gathering on my palms on my torn jeans.

"Let's go." I said quietly, drawing out my wand. Remus kept even pace as we descended the broken and saggy steps, which looked ancient and tired. The air was much colder here, and intensified as we ventured deeper and deeper into the alley. The walls pushed closer together. An overhanging roof housed a dishelved man who was facing the wall, muttering loudly in a language I didn't understand. I pressed closer to Remus.

After a few minutes of blank, dust-gray brick walls, the alley opened up into a much smaller version of Diagon Alley. Watery, dull sunlight leaked through a few slats between roofs. The alley curved like a horseshoe around a collection of tall, dreary buildings that were startling similiar to 12 Grimmauld Place. I swallowed against the dryness in my throat and drew closer to Remus so that our sides brushed. He didn't pull away.

A handful of witches and wizards leered at us from underneath hoods or hats. A horribly scabbed witch shuffled closer, her hand extended. It was covered with warts and scars. Long, stringy hair hung in lank strands from underneath her dark hood. One eye bulged out, pale green and ghostly, while the other was much smaller and sank inwards. Her saggy green skin hung in loose folds from her bones. She smelled like an opened sewer.

She approached slowly, her mouth pulled back in what was an attempt at a smile. Every tooth was broken, missing, or yellow. The hairs on the back on my neck rose in warning. Remus stepped in front of me, towering over the hag.

"Can you spare any change for a poor witch?" She croaked, her voice cracked and high-pitched.

"No, we can't." Remus said coldly. "Sorry."

The hag nodded once, sniffling hard as a red ooze began to drip from her long hooked nose. I fought the strong urge to gag.

She peered around Remus, her mismatched eyes staring at me. She pointed one long, bony finger at me in an accusing way. "You. You have a destiny about you."

"That's enough." Remus snapped, his voice deep and impressive. "Go away, or I'll hex you."

I noticed other witches and wizards glancing at us with keen interest from the narrow alley. Goosebumps raced across my skin in alarm. "Let's go." I whispered to Remus.

The hag narrowed her eyes at Remus. "You are not what you seem, werewolf."

Remus opened his mouth in shock, and then drew his wand. The hag backed up quickly, nearly tripping over her ragged cloak.

"We're looking for someone." Remus said quietly. "A witch with a long scar across her face. Where is she? Which store did she go into?"

The hag nodded slowly, twisting a bony finger around a worn, ugly ring on her other hand. "Borgin and Burkes." She squinted eerily at me again, and I felt a stab of cold fear in my stomach.

"Care for a spell, my pretty? I can give you an incantation for whatever you'd like… Happiness, money, or…" she glanced at Remus, her ugly face pulling into a horrible smirk. "Love?"

I realized that I was dressed like a Muggle. This hag probably thought that Remus had taken me here for a field trip and gotten lost. I swallowed hard, unsure of what to do.

"She doesn't need your help." Remus snapped. "Come on."

The hag shuffled closer, her rank odor making my hair stand on end again. "All I need is a lock of your pretty hair. Such lovely locks. Is that your natural color, my sweet?"

"Goodbye." Remus snarled, and grabbed my hand with his. His fingers slipped into the spaces of mine, driving away all other thoughts. Heat rushed into my cheeks. I had never held hands with a guy before, not like this, and it made me feel dizzy and warm. His hand was big and strong, but it held mine like it was made to match, like a puzzle piece. Part of me knew Remus had only done it as a protective gesture, but another part wondered why he hadn't just looped his arm through mine. Holding hands was a completely different thing.

Remus led me away quickly. I kept pace, feeling oddly light-headed. The stench of the hag drifted away and was replaced by another smell. This time, it smelled like dirt, sweat, and blood.

"Oh no." I whispered in horror.

Remus had stiffened. Clearly, he recognized the odor too. Fenrir Greyback smelled exactly like it.

"This way." Remus said quietly, leading me into a small alcove in the alley, next to a dilapidated, ancient building with a dusty window revealing the inside of the dimly-lit shop. An old wooden sign creaked in the faint breeze. It read BORGIN &amp; BURKES in chipped gold paint.

"Should we go inside?" I muttered to Remus, who still hadn't let go of my hand.

"No." Remus replied. "Let's just wait here for a minute."

I looked over my shoulder. A black ladder wound its way up and over the side of the building to the roof. I pulled my hand free, making it feel oddly cold and empty, and started climbing.

"Amber!" Remus hissed, but followed me quickly when it was clear I wasn't coming down. I reached the top in a matter of seconds. It was a landing on the roofs of the buildings. I crept between a fat chimney slowly issuing black smoke that smelled like burning meat and pressed against a glass ceiling. It was so grimy that I could hardly peer below. I pointed my wand at a patch of grime and whispered, "_Scourgify." _A palm-sized spot of clear glass appeared, clean.

"What are you doing?" Remus demanded in a low voice. "We should leave. Now."

"This was _your _idea, remember?" I hissed as I squatted before the small circle of visibility. Below, shelves of odd objects were on display. Only two people wandered in the store. One was an old, grizzled man with balding hair, and the other was Professor Smith.

In spite of myself, I drew in a scandalized breath. Professor Smith had been my summer tutor and would be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Her teaching methods were unconventional and a little scary, but she had no business being in a place that housed creatures like hags.

"What is she doing?" I muttered as Professor Smith walked between spaces between the shelves. I could make out a shriveled black hand and a jar of eyeballs. I shivered. This kind of evil merchandise would never be sold or found in Diagon Alley.

"Looks like she's shopping." Remus replied.

It sure seemed that way. Professor Smith perused the store for almost five minutes before she finally stopped at the corner of the store, directly below us. My legs were cramping from sitting so long.

"What's she looking at?" I asked Remus quietly. "Can you see it?"

Remus peered down, his green eyes narrowed to slits. "No, I can't…"

He swore and pulled me back suddenly. I lost my balance and fell back on my butt, small rocks digging painfully into my palms. I shot him a furious look.

"What was _that _for?" I hissed.

Remus shook his head, holding a finger up for silence. A thrill of horror ran down my spine. What if Professor Smith had seen us? Or heard us?

Heart pounding, I stared at Remus, waiting for him to give the signal that it was okay to move again. Because of his lycanthropy, he had enhanced senses, especially hearing. Remus was paused, craning his neck to listen. After an agonizing five minutes, he finally nodded. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding in relief. I peeked over the glass again, but now the shop was deserted.

"Great." I muttered. "Now she's gone. What was she doing in there? What could she have bought?"

"I don't know." Remus said quietly. "My dad says that only dark and dangerous people come here. We must be in Knockturn Alley."

A second chill of horror shot through my veins. I shivered. My own parents had warned me several times to never, ever come down to this part of town. Not for anything.

"How did we miss the sign?" I moaned. "There's supposed to be a sign at the beginning of the entrance to let shoppers know that they're heading here."

"Someone must have taken it down." Remus answered.

I thought instantly of several Slytherin boys, in addition to a fully-grown vampire. "I can think of a few, now that you mention it." I said dryly.

"We should get out of here." Remus said. "I have a bad feeling about this place."

"No kidding." I snapped. "Come on. Let's climb down."

But halfway down the ladder, Remus froze. I halted behind him, palms slick with sweat again. "What?"

His nostrils flared. "There it is again. That smell." His eyes shuttered. "It's Greyback."

I swallowed hard. "Here?"

Remus nodded tersely. "Go back up."

I obeyed, nearly tripping over my feet in my haste. I paced on the roof nervously as Remus rejoined me. He looked grim.

"I don't think we should try going down there again." I said nervously.

Remus shook his head. "I have an idea."

"Oh, goody." I cracked my knuckles, a bad habit I developed in the face of stress. "What, should we both run over the roofs and then fly down?"

"Flying is involved." Remus said, ignoring my sarcasm. "How good is your Flying Charm?"

I looked at him, confused. "Not that good." I admitted.

Remus shrugged. "That's fine. Mine's good enough." He drew his willow wand and pointed it directly at me. "_Volante!_"

I felt strangely light-headed again and weightless. Remus grabbed my hand again. I was about to ask him what his problem was when I realized that I was taller than him. I looked around in alarm, and saw that I was floating several inches off the ground.

I stifled a small scream of fear. Remus squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"It's just a simple Flying Charm." He soothed. "It'll keep you like this for about five minutes. Maybe less. I hope it lasts for five. I'm going to charm myself and we'll fly together back to Diagon Alley."

"How do you know we won't drift away into the sky?" I said quickly, trying not to panic.

"Just trust me." Remus said, smiling wolfishly. He charmed himself and slowly left the ground. I wanted to scream again. My palms were slicker than ever with sweat.

"Relax." Remus murmured. "Focus on your breathing and staying close to the ground. I won't let go of you."

Reeling, I gripped his hand so tightly I could feel his bones shifting around, but he didn't complain once. Slowly, we drifted over the roofs of the buildings, slower than walking, but still moving. My heart pounding in my ears as I pictured my body spiraling up into the air, out of control, destined for the planets…

"Easy, Amber." Remus murmured, pulling me back down to reality. "I'm not letting go."

"Sorry." I said breathlessly. "Sorry. This is so much easier on a broom. Sorry."

"It's alright." Remus said again, never losing patience.

Agonizingly slowly, we glided over the tops of the buildings, never more than five feet above. At last, I hear the cheerful babble of shoppers from Diagon Alley.

"Oh, thank God." I gushed, relieved. Remus chuckled. He guided us to the top of a building near the edge of Diagon Alley. There was an oval-shaped door not far, leading into another taller building. "This way." Remus said, and led me to it. "_Alohamora._" He said, and the door opened.

We walked quickly and quietly down the spiraling staircase. It deposited us onto a vacant landing. I pointed to another staircase, which we took. Voices floated up through the space.

"Almost there." Remus promised. A moment later, bright, warm lights nearly scalded my retinas as we descended into a cheerful shop filled with people. No one noticed us come down.

"Where are we now?" I asked as Remus pulled me through the crowd.

"Quality Quidditch Supplies." He replied. I noticed, for the first time, the jerseys and cloaks framed in glass over the walls, the newspaper and magazine articles beside them, and the stacks of what could only be Quidditch paraphenalia. I halted, admiring the rows of dark wood that housed shirts, jerseys, and other sundries.

"Earth to Amber?" Remus joked. "I thought we were escaping."

But even though the fear had vanished, the adrenaline remained from my short flight with Remus. It brought back memories of flying over the summer with (well, without) Professor Smith, and of the disaster that had been Quidditch tryouts last year.

I suddenly realized what I wanted for my birthday.

"I want to buy a broom." I announced, leading Remus to the counter.

The young attendant noticed us coming and grinned. "Well, hello! Looking to buy your first broom?"

"Yes, please." I said. Remus was in stunned silence.

The salesperson appraised Remus. "How about a nice Cleansweep Six for you, young man? Baron Musgraves claims to have flown to the Moon with this very model!"

"No, thanks." Remus said politely. "I don't fly."

"Well." The twenty-something man turned to grin at me. His teeth were white, but his nose was crooked, as if a Bludger had once broken it. "How about you, little lady?" He presented a slim, delicate white broomstick. "This classic Moontrimmer is made of pure ash. It's very quick and perfect for stylish witches."

I frowned. "What's it good for?"

The salesman smiled, but it looked more like a smirk to me. "Well, it was a very popular Quidditch broom at one point. But nowadays, they're more popular for transportation than rough play. Very chic and stylish."

I studied the delicate broom. "No, thanks. Um, can I see a more athletic broom? Something sturdy."

The attendant laughed. "Are you sure? You don't look like the kind to be playing such a rowdy game."

"Be careful." Remus warned. "She's a lot tougher than she looks."

The salesman sniggered. "Spoken from experience, eh? Alright." He turned and pulled a long, silver-colored broomstick with a distinctive black tail. A beautiful silver ribbon wrapped in two tendrils around the neck of the tail.

"This is a Silver Arrow." The wizard said. "It's quicker than a Moontrimmer or an Oakshaft 79, but the Cleansweeps are more popular. These have been around for twenty years or so. Still, this one is in excellent condition. I can get you a Cleansweep, instead, if you'd like."

"No," I declined, entranced by the silver length of the broom. "I want this one. How much is it?"

"It's more of a man's broom." The attendant hedged.

"Then I should have no problem." I said coolly. "Considering I used to be one."

There was a stunned silence. Then Remus burst into laughter. The attendant was thunderstruck.

"Y-yes." He stammered. "Alright. That'll be five thousand Galleons."

"Five _thousand_?" A voice demanded. "That's highway robbery!"

I turned and found myself face to face with Professor Smith. Her severe face was pulled back into an outraged expression. The attendant looked terrified. The stark scar didn't lessen her intimidating presence.

"Uh… um… well, that _is _what the Quidditch Blue Book states… it's really in great condition and…" he faltered at the withering look on Professor Smith's face.

"That broom was made in 1961, maybe earlier." Professor Smith snapped. "It's worth half of that listing price. Look at the scratches and dings. This is a second hand broom, hardly worth more than a thousand Galleons."

The attendant's jaw dropped. "Blasphemy!" He cried.

Professor Smith drew herself up. "Are you questioning my authority, Dennis?"

I stared, awed, as the young man quailed, "Professor Smith?"

"Yes." She said loftily. "You were always bad at lying, Dennis, but this is really gone too far." Professor Smith narrowed her eyes at Dennis, who cowered. "Adjust the price. I still know your mother's address, and I wouldn't mind sending her an owl the very moment I leave this shop."

I watched in utter amazement as Dennis, who looked like he was choking back tears, scratched out the price tag's listing and rewrote it to match her verdict. "My boss is going to kill me." Dennis moaned.

Professor Smith brushed off her hands. "That shouldn't be too much of an issue, since I own this shop."

Dennis's eyes bugged out. So did mine. "You _do_?" I gaped.

She nodded. "I've owned it for about ten years. Dennis's boss is the manager. I, however, own the place from the top down." I could have imagined it, but Professor Smith winked at me from the corner of her eye.

Dennis was trembling from head to foot. "One th-thousand Galleons, ma'am." He said, not looking at me.

I dug around in my pocket with my free hand. I placed my money on the counter. Professor Smith added a sack of gold coins. I stared at her.

"These are from your mother, Lena." Professor Smith explained. "I bumped into her in Flourish and Blotts. She meant to give you your money to purchase your birthday gift, but you left too quickly."

I felt a twinge of shame, especially as I studied the small sack of gold coins. "Oh."

Professor Smith gave Dennis a firm stare as he accepted the payment with shaking hands. "Do you want this wrapped?" He asked me timidly.

"I think I can handle it." I said. "Well… actually, if you _do _have a bag…"

Professor Smith pointed to a small paper bag. "That has an Extension Charm. The entire broom can fit inside."

I watched, enraptured, as Dennis placed the Silver Arrow inside of the bag, which swallowed it whole. He handed me the small brown bag, which I took with two hands. My hand left Remus's again. I hadn't realized I had been holding it again, and I felt a blush creep into my face. Once again, my hand felt lonely and cold without his. I glanced at Remus, but he was examining the different styles of broomsticks for sale on the wall.

"Well." Professor Smith said matter-of-factly. "I will see you two tomorrow at school, yes?"

I nodded, trying to figure out how a respectable, intimating witch like Professor Smith could have been shopping in a horrible place like Knockturn Alley. "Yeah. We'll be there."

"Excellent." She gave Remus a faint smile. "Have you told Amber how you can conjure a Patronus, Remus?"

Remus shuffled his feet. "I can, but I haven't shown her."

"He wants me to conjure one first, before he shows me what his form takes." I complained.

Professor Smith chuckled good-naturedly. "Good motivation. Who knows, Remus. You may make a fine Defense Against the Dark Arts professor one day yourself."

Remus itched the back of his neck. "Maybe."

Professor Smith turned to leave. "Take care, you two. I expect much of you both this coming school year." She eyed me imploringly. "And please try to stay out of trouble this year. You've got enough on your plate without getting in over your head."

My conscious thrust the recent trip to Knockturn Alley into my mind, filling me with shame and indignation. But Professor Smith and my conscious had a point…

If a hag and Fenrir Greyback were both in Knockturn Alley, that meant that Folsom could have been there to.

I shivered. I didn't want to think about what could have happened to Remus and I if we hadn't gotten out.

"No promises." I replied, grinning.

Professor Smith sighed. "For a Ravenclaw, you can be a slow learner, Amber."

I laughed, but her words held a bit of sting.

Professor Smith gave Dennis a final glare, and swept out of the store. I couldn't help staring after her as she left the store (_her _store) and disappeared into the crowd of shoppers.

Remus and I followed, the bell clanging on the door. I glanced down the cobblestone street, toward where the Gold Fairy cafe was.

"I should go soon." I said, thinking of holding hands with Remus, and wondering why I felt so shy. "My mum wants to meet for lunch in a bit."

Remus nodded. "Do you want to check out a few more shops first? The Magical Menagerie looks interesting."

I thought of being alone with Remus again. The possibility of holding hands again sprang to mind, along with a weird lurch in my guts. I wanted to be around him, but at the same time, I didn't. These new feelings scared me.

"Well, actually, I really should get going." I said. "Mum will be upset if I'm late."

Remus's eyes flickered, but he didn't argue. "Alright. Want me to walk you?"

I shook my head. "That's alright. I can handle it."

Now he looked stony. Hurt? No. But he definitely looked unhappy. _Did I do something wrong?_

I swallowed against the dryness in my throat. I really did need something to drink. I craved a tall glass of iced tea, or butterbeer. Something cold to dull this new, confusing heat in my head.

"Alright." Remus repeated. "I guess I'll see you on the train."

Without another word, he turned and walked away. In a matter of seconds, he was swallowed up by the passing crowd. I stared after him, filled with a mix of dismay and relief.

What had happened to Remus? What had happened between us in just an hour? We were still friends. But something had definitely changed. I could feel it in my face and my shaky legs.

I shut my eyes. _He's just a friend. I'm too young to feel like this. Don't overthink this. Don't ruin what you have._

But Remus was all I could think about, in spite of Knockturn Alley and my new, used Silver Arrow and the promise of returning to Hogwarts the next morning. What was the matter with me? I shook my head, trying to clear it, but to no avail.

A few moments later, I entered the Gold Fairy and ordered the largest size of iced tea that they offered. "No sugar or lemon, please." I told the woman at the counter. I sat outside on the patio at an empty iron-wrought table, watching the procession of shoppers drift by. The flow of traffic hadn't lessened. As the day wore on, more and more patrons decided to finally tackle their school shopping. I saw countless students from Hogwarts, but strangely, no one I was friends with. Maybe Lily and Angelina had already come and gone.

"There you are." Mum said, Naomi bouncing at her side. She frowned down at me. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I said immediately, defensive. "I'm just thirsty and tired."

"Mum says you're a shopaholic." Naomi chirped as she plopped down beside me. Her green eyes - Dad's eyes - were huge with excitement. "We went to Ollivanders. Remember him? That creepy old man?"

"He's _not _creepy." Mum interjected.

"I remember." I said.

Naomi could hardly contain her excitement. "Well, he told me that I only have to wait until I'm eleven to get _my _wand! He said that's only four more years!"

"Because four years is such a short amount of time." I joked, sipping my iced tea.

"It'll go faster than you think." Mum warned. "You're already going into your third year of schooling, Amber."

I ignored her words, because they resonated with the truth and made me uncomfortable. I was almost halfway through my education at Hogwarts. The thought was both daunting and pleasing.

"What's in the bag?" Mum asked as she ordered a peach milkshake for Naomi from a passing staff member.

"A Silver Arrow." I announced. Naomi gasped. Mum raised a brow.

"It's used." I added. "It only cost a thousand Galleons."

"A thousand Galleons!" Naomi exclaimed. "Can I see?"

"Sure." I pulled out the silvery broom, glinting impressively in the afternoon sun. Naomi gasped.

Mum looked impassive. "It's… nice." She said finally.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Sorry, I forgot that unless it's something _Virginia _did, it's not good enough."

I regretted the words the moment they came out of my mouth. I had no idea where they had come from. My mind scrambled madly for an excuse. Her old attitude and condescending, critiquing tone had brought back old memories? The way she looked down at my new broom made me defensive? But there was nothing, _nothing _good enough I could think of for slapping her in the face with the memory of my dead sister and her dead daughter. I could feel the blood drain from my face and hands grow cold. Naomi let out a small whimper. She clapped her hand over her mouth, staring at Mum and I with horror.

I waited for the blow to fall.

But Mum merely gazed at me with her blue eyes - Virginia's eyes - for a long moment. It dragged on and on. I felt sick with dread. Maybe she would make me resell the broomstick for penance.

"There's a reason why you weren't good enough for Hufflepuff." Mum said in a calm, calculated voice.

I swallowed against the urge to fire back a retort. We held gazes for another long, tense moment, before we were snapped back to reality by the waitress.

"Here's your peach milkshake!" A young woman trilled, placing the frosty pink beverage for Naomi. She immediately started sucking it down with her red straw.

"That'll be seven Sickles." She added, looking at Mum expectantly.

I reached into my pocket, feeling for the last bits of my money. Seven sickles and fifteen Knuts. I hastily dropped them on the table. "Here." I rose quickly and stowed the Silver Arrow back into its bag without looking at anyone. "My treat."

I left before I could say anything else that would further strain the already-breaking relationship between my Mum and I.


	33. Hide and Seek

The next morning I woke early enough that the sun hadn't yet risen over the high peaks of the mountains that surrounded our village. However, tacked to the bathroom mirror was a note.

_Amber,_

_You are old enough to see yourself off on the Hogwarts Express. Have a good term._

_Mum_

Swallowing against the stung of her words, I tapped the note with the tip of my wand. "_Incendio_."

The note burst into flames and disappeared in a cloud of ash.

I washed and dressed quickly. I knew it was against the law to use magic underage, but even if the Ministry _did _come knocking, how would they know how to pinpoint exactly who'd done it? Naomi would volunteer it in an instant. And if she didn't, I could lie.

I shut my eyes tightly, my head throbbing slightly. What was the matter with me? What had happened to my thoughts?

Shaking my head to clear the pain and the guilt, I waved my wand once and muttered, "_Scourgify."_

Instantly, my books and clothes sprang into my waiting suitcases. I felt a twinge of guilt for breaking wizarding law, but it wouldn't have been the first or second time I'd done something I would regret. The disastrous and mercifully short lunch with Mum yesterday still haunted me. Nothing could have excused my words to my mother. Nothing. Not even if every sin had been stacked up against her, I couldn't justify my harsh, evil words.

But where had they come from? I had thought I was moving on. Both of us. And besides, it wasn't her fault that Virginia was dead. It was mine.

I bit back tears, my emotions raw after the veiled rejection from my mother in her note. I pulled on a warm, oversized woolen sweater to keep out the mountain chill and quietly padded down the stairs. Dad was at the kitchen table, sipping a steaming mug of coffee, reading the _Daily Prophet._

He glanced up at my entrance. "Where are you going?"

I raised a brow. "To school."

Dad blinked. Then he checked the date on the paper. "Merlin's beard! Is it really September already?"

I glanced at a water spot on the wall. "Aye."

Dad leapt to his feet, his chair scraping back. He was dressed for work. Soon he would be departing for the Ministry of Magic. He usually left at nine. It was still early enough that the sun had just broken over the mountains.

"I can take you." Dad said quickly. "What time does the train leave again? Nine? Ten?"

"Eleven sharp." I replied, swallowing against the now-familiar dryness that always came after a bout of guilt. "You don't have to. I'm thirteen now. I'm supposed to act my age."

Dad froze in the act of dumping his half-drunk coffee into the sink. "Who told you that? Your mother?"

I shuffled my feet. "I know she's right. Dad, please don't look like that. It's really not her fault. This time, it was all me."

But Dad had clamped a hand around the back of a chair and looked furious. "Lena…" he muttered.

I waited for him to cool down.

He exhaled and looked at me again. "Why are you up so early?"

I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. I was excited."

Dad scratched the back of his neck, making some of his golden hair stand on end. I noticed flecks of gray for the first time.

If I was getting older, so was he.

Dad looked around the kitchen. "I really don't feel comfortable letting you go to London alone. Especially this early."

"Well, what if I took the commuter train? You know, the one that stops in Inverness? I could visit Grandma and Grandpa and then get on the next one to Hogsmeade Station."

But Dad wasn't having any of it. "No. I want you to be able to ride the Hogwarts Express. You only get to a few times." He glanced at the grandfather clock near the china cabinet. "I will have to drop you off at nine. I need to be at work."

"That's fine." I replied quickly. "Not a problem."

At that moment, Soren swooped down the chimney and fluttered to my shoulder. His talons dug in against my sweater. Attached to his pink leg was a letter.

"What's that?" Dad asked as he turned to wash his breakfast dishes.

I untied Soren's letter and stroked his feathers. My hand was slightly gray from the soot that had brushed against his body. Soren hooted and dipped his head, rubbing it affectionately against my temple.

The letter was written in elegant black calligraphy, addressed directly to me. But when I saw the return address, I felt my hands grow cold with dread.

It was from the Ministry of Magic. The Improper Use of Magic department.

Trembling slightly, I opened the letter. I was expecting a lengthy warning of my useage of magic just minutes ago, or maybe even a suspension from school.

I was not expecting just one sentence.

_Remember my promise, Miss Amber._

I stared at the words, paralyzed. I knew that calligraphy anywhere. 'Miss Amber'. Only one person ever called me that.

Folsom knew where I was.

I clenched the letter in my hand. I wanted to burn it. I wanted to get rid of it and pretend I'd never opened it or seen it. Soren hooted and nudged me again. But I couldn't move.

Professor Smith had been right. Folsom hadn't forgotten. He was holding onto his grudge, and from his eerie words, he sounded like he didn't want me to forget.

I had to stay on my toes. I had to learn how to protect myself. Even with Professor Smith's tutelage, I knew my chances were much better I could learn the Patronus Charm.

But how could I without admitting my darkest secret?

"Well, are you ready?" Dad said, driving me out of my thoughts. I blinked. Dad knew the Patronus Charm. He could defend me.

"Yeah." I said in a forced voice. "Let's go."

We left the quiet house - Mum and Naomi still sleeping - and approached the old blue Ford that the Ministry had gifted Dad for his years of service. He jangled the keys. "What do you think? Should we drive?"

I raised a brow. "I don't think she could make the journey all the way to London and back, Dad. Magic or not."

Dad sighed. "You're right as usual. It's nice having a Ravenclaw around."

My breath caught in my throat. Only yesterday, Mum had told me that I wasn't good enough for Hufflepuff, the house of her and of every member of my family (on both sides). And yet here was Dad, praising me for being in the House that I had been narrowly Sorted into.

The bite of the early morning air made my eyes water. My eyes traveled to the high peak of the same mountain that Professor Smith had taken me to a few weeks ago. I knew now that a colony of Common Welsh Greens lived high in the clouds and cliff faces. I wondered how many others knew.

"We could fly." I suggested.

Dad chewed his lip. "I'm not sure. You've only just gotten your broom."

I knew he was worried that I would panic or fall off. But I shrugged nonchalantly. "If it's a problem, we can take Floo Powder. I'm a fair flyer now."

Dad bounced on the heels of his feet, thinking. Finally, he let out a gusty sigh, a sign that he had come to a decision. "Alright. We'll try flying. But if you get scared or want to use Floo Powder instead, let me know and we'll come back."

"Dad." I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm not a little kid anymore. I can handle this."

Dad nodded once and pulled out his wand. It was hawthorne, the same one that he had received from Ollivander's when he was eleven years old. The wand had clearly been through the mill. Little dings and scratches covered the wood, and it looked almost tired as Dad lazily flicked it at my luggage. It shrank to the size of doll furniture. He picked up the suitcase with great strain, his face red. Apparently, the size hadn't affected the weight.

"Dad," I said, "you can use the weightless charm. It's _leve pondus._"

"Oh." Dad puffed out his chest, shaking off the obvious stress he had been under. "Right."

"Swish and flick." I instructed.

Looking half-amused, Dad did as I suggested. He picked up the now-weightless bags and added them to his pocket, which he zipped up.

I pulled out my new broom. I couldn't help admiring it, blind to the slightly secondhand nature. It was _my _broom. And this would be our maiden flight.

My guilt and melancholy was swept away as I stowed Folsom's foreboding letter in my pocket and stroked Soren's wings. "I'll meet you there, buddy."

Soren pushed off lightly and soundlessly glided over the trees, northbound. He was a tiny white speck in a matter of seconds.

Dad had produced his own broom, a battered Shooting Star, with the Summoning Charm. I mounted mine, trembling all over with anticipation. My knuckles were white from holding it so tightly.

"Ready?" Dad said, sounding uncertain.

I nodded vigorously. "Yes!"

Apparently, the broom took that as a command.

I lifted off the ground, not as quickly as I had been going when I had careened down the side of mountain, but fast enough that Dad let out a warning yell. "Slow down!"

Laughing, half-hysterical with adrenaline, I obeyed and eased up. The Silver Arrow lost acceleration but stayed in the air, hovering fifteen feet above the ground. It was already a dizzying height, but I felt invincible up here.

Not even Folsom could get me now.

The ride to London was smooth except for when I almost fell off the broom four different times. James made it look easy, like the broom was just a part of him. Riding a broom for myself felt something like trying to control a dragon and my own body.

I was thankful I hadn't eaten breakfast, because I was so riddled with nerves by the time we landed that I took a single step off of the Silver Arrow and promptly dry-heaved over the ground.

Dad hurried to my side, worrying and fussing. "Amber! Amber, are you alright?"

I came up straight after a few painful moments, giving him the thumbs-up.

Dad stowed our brooms and ushered me inside of the building we had landed in front of: The Leaky Cauldron. A hunchbacked, nearly-toothless bartender waved at us and shuffled over.

"Pixie dust water for her." Dad instructed. "Quickly."

"Right away, sir," the barman vowed, ducking away. A moment later, he brought a cup of merrily bubbling clear liquid. I drank deeply, closing my eyes against the soothing burn and fizzle.

"Better?" Dad asked.

I nodded, still drinking.

Dad sighed. "I vomited the first few times after I started flying. I guess you got that from me."

I surveyed the main room of the Leaky Cauldron. It was made from rough-hewn stones and wood. A large fire crackled in the hearth, a huge cauldron hanging over the licking flames. A wonderful aroma of stew issued in little clouds of steam from the surface.

"What's that?" I managed, my throat still tight.

"That would be Hungarian Mushroom Soup, my lady." The barman said. He set one of the empty tables with a battered-looking bowl and silverware. "Care for some?"  
"We'll take two bowls." Dad said, guiding me to the table. We sat on opposite sides of each other. I couldn't look him directly in the face. The memory of last summer's fight still lingered in my mind. So instead I took frequent, small sips of pixie dust water.

"So." Dad said finally, looking awkward. "What classes do you have this year?"

I shrugged. "The usual load for third years. Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Astrology, Divination, Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, Charms."

"That's a lot." Dad observed. "Think you'll add or drop any?"

"Maybe Divination or Potions. Potions is my worst subject."

Dad sipped water from a glass that the barman had left for him. "Well, Potions is a class you need to have. It's like mathematics, for Muggles. You can't get away from it in the real world."

I shrugged again. "I guess so."

The barman slid two steaming bowls of orange soup in front of us. Chunks and slices of dark gray mushrooms floated among various spices like dill and parsley.

"This is vegetarian, right?" I asked as the barman turned to leave.

"Of course, my lady." He bowed slightly. "Do you need anything else?"

"No thanks, Tom." Dad said.

Tom left.

I sipped my soup, avoiding looking at my father's face. The silence sat between us like a hippogriff on the table. Finally, I put my spoon down, palms slick with nervous sweat. "I need to ask you something."

Dad lifted a blonde brow. "Alright."

I swallowed hard. "Do you remember what you said to me last summer? When you were drunk?"  
Apparently this had been the last time Dad had been expecting. The color drained from his face and he dropped his gaze to the surface of the gritty table. "I… I remember some of it."

Now that I had let the first bomb fall, I felt almost dizzy with trepidation. My hands were shaking, so I hid them under the table so Dad couldn't see. "Yesterday, Mum mentioned how I wasn't good enough for Hufflepuff." I hesitated. "Do you two really think I'm that much of a disappointment for not being in your House?"

Dad looked anguished and embarrassed. He took a deep gulp of his water, draining it. Tom refilled it and disappeared in an instant.

"I said a lot of things that night that I regret." Dad said carefully, still not meeting my eyes. "I was… I was drunk. When I was a teenager, my friends and I were… mischeivious. We liked to drink. It was a habit your mother knew about when we dated and eventually married. She made me promise to stay dry if we were going to have a family. And I was dry, for a long time. But losing Virginia…" he looked into the flickering flames of the fire and rubbed his temples with one hand. He looked so tired. In the light of the fire, I could see the lines lining his young face. He was in his thirties, but looked like a man who had lived a hundred years.

"I knew we were probably going to lose her before she was an adult. She was such a sick child. But then,when she was getting better… well. We all thought she was in remission for good. And then one night, she was just…"

"Gone." I finished quietly, my hands clenched into fists underneath the table.

Dad sighed. "We all miss her. It's not fair of me to drink myself into oblivion over my grief." He offered a sad smile. "We all lost her, not just me. And I know she was proud of you for being a Ravenclaw. So am I."

I couldn't speak. If I did, I would let the secret slip out. I stared at him, frozen.

"I _am _proud of you, daughter." Dad said. "I said things I shouldn't have. Things I didn't mean. It was the drink speaking."

I studied him, biting my lip. "But what about Mum? She wasn't drinking. She was sober."

Dad looked sad. "Grief can be as powerful as any drug, Amber."

I didn't know what to say to that, because I knew it was true. Grief was strong, but guilt was even more powerful.

Even though my hunger was gone, I finished my bowl of soup in silence. Dad paid for our meals and rose. "Will you be alright on your own? I need to get to work. The train leaves at eleven from King's Cross Station."

"Got it." I said.

Dad handed me a few extra coins. "You can take the Knight Bus or a cab to King's Cross Station. Why don't you stay in Diagon Alley for a bit and explore? I'm sure it's almost vacant on the first day of September. Everyone's already finished shopping."

"Great." I said again, hesitating. "Dad, I _am _sorry about Virginia."

It wasn't admitting it, but it was as close to it as I could come. Dad's eyes flickered. He put a hand on my shoulder. "It wasn't your fault, Amber. She's at peace now."

Stricken, I couldn't say anything else. I merely dipped my head. Dad exited the Leaky Cauldron and Disapparated with a sharp _crack_.

Sighing, I made my way through the brick wall that led into Diagon Alley. Dad was right. The main road was almost deserted, except for a few elderly witches gabbling together as they shuffled down the stone walkway. A few shops were open, but most were closed at this early hour. It was barely nine in the morning.

I was passing the Quidditch store that Professor Smith owned when there was a yelp. Frowning, I tilted my head, trying to catch the sound. It sounded like someone was hurt.

There was a scuffling noise. I followed the noise to a narrow alley between Quality Quidditch Supplies and Flourish and Blotts. I narrowed my eyes to see through the inky gloom. Three shadows moved roughly. I drew my wand and muttered, "_Lumos!"_

The tip of my wand burst into bright, iridescent light. It revealed the ugly scene before me. Two boys were towering over a cowering shape on the ground, which was sobbing. As my eyes adjusted, I could make out their features. The bigger boy was over six feet tall and had light stubble. Logan Avery. The boy next to him was William Mulciber.

On the ground, covered in his own blood, was Peter Pettigrew.

"What the hell is going on?" I yelled, trying to muster up courage in spite of the cold feeling of dread that surfaced like a body rising from a grave. Avery and Mulciber were nasty Slytherin thugs that had nearly landed me in the hospital wing last year. Clearly, they hadn't forgotten our fight.

"Well, well." Avery sneered. "Look who's come to save the day. The little fox."

"More like a weasel." Mulciber growled. He especially held a grudge towards me.

I gulped but held my wand steady, refusing to back down. "Get away from him."

"Who, you mean the little rat?" Avery said, aiming a kick at Peter. His foot made contact with Peter's ribs with a sickening thud. Peter gasped in pain.

I brandished my wand, the fear melting away in a flood of rage. All of my summer training resurfaced in an instant. I could feel the knowledge of my new spells practically burn my hand with anticipation.

"I suggest you back off _now_." I snapped. "Final warning. Get lost!"

"Amber!" Peter moaned. "Help me!"  
Mulciber had made to draw his own wand, but I flicked my wand like a whip. "_Expelliarmus!" _

Both wands went flying deep into the depths of the alley. Instead of chasing after them, both boys gave me murderous looks.

"Folsom might be gone." Avery said quietly. "But we're still here."

"And boy, do we have plans for _you_." Mulciber added menacingly.

I pretended not to feel the awful wave of horror that crashed down over me like a waterfall. "I'm _so _scared." I scoffed.

"Amber…" Peter whimpered.

I jabbed my wand threateningly at the two Slytherins. "Go. The other way. You can get your wands after we've gone."

They gave me measured looks. When they didn't move, I said, "_Protego" _and cast a shield charm between Peter and I. I helped him to his feet, the shield shimmering between us. Even though I refused to look at them, I could feel their venomous stares on my back as we hurried out of the alley and into Quality Quidditch Supplies.

"What happened?" I asked as soon as the door shut.

Peter burst into fresh tears. Even though he was thirteen, he still reminded me a fat, lost boy who was too young to attend a boarding school. His round cheeks quivered, his tears mixing with blood. I frowned, remembering two years ago when he had fallen from the Ravenclaw stairs and I had found him in a similar predicament.

"Peter." I urged. "Talk to me."

He shook his head hard. "N-no." He gasped. "It's awful, Amber! They… they told me… told me…"

"Told you what?" I inquired, trying to be patient.

Peter wiped his bloody nose. One eye was already swelling. "They told me that if I didn't join them… they were going to hurt me. And they did."

I sighed heavily. "I know. They have this creepy little band. They got Regulus to join it last year, and I reckon Severus may have to. Hold on," I said as I hurried to the front counter. Dennis was busy polishing a broom.

"Excuse me." I said after a few seconds when he didn't look up. "_Excuse _me."

Dennis raised a brow. "Yes?"

I stood taller. "We need bandages and something antiseptic. Do you have any essence of murtlap?"

Dennis rolled his eyes. "What do you think this is, an infirmary? If you need supplies, go to the apothecary across the street." He went back to polishing his broom. I recognized it as the same Moontrimmer he had tried to sell to me yesterday.

Frustrated, I banged my fist on the counter, startling Dennis and Peter, who let out another yelp from behind me. "I _know _that every shop in Diagon Alley has a first aid kit." I pointed to the small white box sitting innocuously in the corner of his counter. "Stop trying to be manly by being sexist. It's actually _not _attractive. My friend is hurt and needs those supplies. Either you give those to me, or I'm telling Willow Smith about this."

Dennis gave me a long, measured look, and then slid the box to me. "No wonder that scarred boy looked disgusted by you." He muttered. I ignored him and hurried to Peter with the kit. I opened it and handed him several cotton balls. "Start cleaning yourself up. I'll help."

Peter was still sniffling when I finished placing a final bandage on his arm from a scrape. The boy was covered in them. But he wasn't badly injured, just shaken. I put the kit back on the counter and left without another word to Dennis.

Peter shivered as we walked back into Diagon Alley. More people were trickling in as the morning wore on.

"Why were you here alone?" I asked. "Did your parents come?"

Peter nodded. His cheeks were drying now that his tears had finally ceased. "Th-they're in Flourish and Blotts. Getting me my books."

"Alright. Let's go find them and get to the train station." I knew there was safety in numbers and didn't want to be exposed in the alley with Avery and Mulciber on the loose.

We made quick time to the store, in spite of Peter's shuffling gait due to his pain. He was calming down even more when we entered Flourish and Blott's, but let out a small whimper when we entered the store.

Standing near the rack of shelves, perusing the books, was Folsom.

I could feel the heat of fear grip me by the throat. I almost turned and fled through the doors we had just entered, but I knew doing so would only draw attention to ourselves. So instead I ducked behind a tall stack of books snatched my wand. My hands were shaking. Badly.

"Was that…?" Peter breathed.

"Shush!" I hissed. I focused everything I could on creating a mental block. But I felt no attempt at penetration. From my hidden vantage point, I could see Folsom's back, but nothing else. He was wearing a deep purple, almost black cloak, and his unnatural blond hair was pulled back into a severe ponytail. His pale skin looked dead and ashen underneath the lights of the store. He was looking through a thick book. I could hear the rustle of papers every few seconds as he skimmed through it.

I moved at a glacial pace with Peter in tow. Finally, we made it undetected to the back of the store, where a plump little woman with extremely curly red hair and her equally large husband were talking to the clerk. Peter bolted from my side and crashed into his parents with the force of a bowling ball. They stumbled a little but quickly regained themselves in a loud display of hugs and squeals. It was like watching a family of pigs together.

In spite of the imminent danger, a smile twitched at my lips. I remained half-crouched behind a towering display so that Folsom wouldn't be able to see me.

"Oh, Peter!" His mother cried. "Look at you! What happened?"

"Did you fall again, son?" his father asked jovially. "We ought to get you a helmet, you know."

"Sorry." Peter apologized. "I'm just clumsy." He glanced over at me, about to wave me over, but I vehemently shook my head. I did not want to move from my hiding place. Peter's eyes widened and he gave a tiny nod of understanding.

"I um… well, I'm ready to go." Peter said, as his mother hugged him again.

"Oh, my precious Peter!" She gasped. "Are you sure you want to go back to school this year? We can keep you at home and teach you ourselves! You don't have to go all the way past Inverness! Oh, Billy, does he _have _to go?"

I was starting to see why Peter was so needy. How could he not be, with an overbearing, overwhelming mother always caring for him or bemoaning his absence?

Billy Pettigrew chortled. "Now Donna… he can handle himself. He's a big boy, aren't you now son?"

Peter looked sheepish. "I guess so. Can we just… go now?"

"If that's what you want." Donna Pettigrew choked out.

I rolled my eyes, thinking of Mum and Virginia.

The Pettigrew family departed the store, breezing right past Folsom, whose cloak ruffled in their wake but otherwise didn't give any indication of their presence. I mirrored their steps from behind the screen of books and shelves. I held my breath as I passed by. I waited for him to turn and stare at me with those cold, soulless blue of eyes of his, colder than glaciers and straight from Hell. But he remained occupied by his reading. I passed by without him even moving his head.

I snuck quietly out of the front door and left him behind. My pulse, which had been racing, thrummed slower, making me dizzy with the aftershocks of adrenaline. Peter glanced back and waved at me. I hurried to the side of the Pettigrew family.

"Dad, Mum, this is my friend, Amber," Peter introduced as I hastened to match their pace.

Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew looked at each other in surprise. "You have a friend?" Mum exclaimed. "A _female _friend?"

"Atta boy, son." Mr. Pettigrew congratulated. Peter's face turned the color of the bricks in the walls.

"Actually, I was on my way to the Hogwarts Express." I said, trying to ignore Peter's clear embarrassment and the delight of his parents. "Mind if I tag along with you?"

"Not at all!" Mrs. Pettigrew crowed. "Oh, how lovely! You're _gorgeous_. Peter, I'm proud of you!"

For the second time that day, I rolled my eyes.

"Mum, please." Peter mumbled, not meeting my gaze.

"We always take the Floo Network to get there." Mrs. Pettigrew said. "I can't wait until you're seventeen, dear. Then we can finally Apparate places again."

"Dear." Mr. Pettigrew said.

"Let's just go." I interrupted. "Please. I need to… uh… you know."

"Of course!" Mrs. Pettigrew yelped. "We can take the Knight Bus. How silly of me." She led us out of Diagon Alley and back to the front of the Leaky Cauldron. Tom waved at us as we left his restaurant. I gave a half-hearted wave back. Peter saw his garish appearance and pressed closer to his mother.

Once outside, Mrs. Pettigrew threw out her arm. Instantly, a triple-decker, violently purple bus screeched to an unceremonious halt. I jumped back in alarm.

"There you go." Mrs. Pettigrew said sweetly. "The most reliable form of emergency transportation around. On we go."

Hesitant, I followed the Pettigrews onboard. An old, wiry man with tufty white hair sat in the driver's seat, eating a sandwich. His gigantic Coke-bottle glasses magnified his eyes to make them gargantuan and startling. I averted my gaze and took a seat on a cot with a mattress as thin as a block of cheese.

A pimply faced woman with teased up hair yawned and punched four tickets for us. "Where to." She said in a bored voice.

"King's Cross Station." I said at the same time as Mrs. Pettigrew.

The conductor nodded and took our money. "Kiddies going back to school, Ern."

The bus gave a huge lurch and plowed forward. It sprang between other cars filled with Muggles and made several physics-defying maneuvers before finally grating to a stomach-rolling stop in front of the train station.

I wasn't sure which had been worse. Encountering Folsom or riding the Knight Bus. I departed hastily, the Pettigrews following behind. King's Cross Station loomed ahead, the giant clock indicating it was nearly ten.

"You still have almost an hour before the train leaves the station." Mrs. Pettigrew fretted. "We can stay with you if you'd like."

"No, thanks." I said at the exact same time that Peter uttered, "Yes, please."

Peter gave a nervous chuckle as his parents fussed over him. My own parents hadn't taken me to the station. Perhaps at thirteen, it was more of a coming-of-age transition than being unwanted. Peter, who still retained his boyish, prepubescent looks, seemed daunted by the thought of separating from his parents just yet.

Platform 9 ¾ awaited us, the ordinary brick wall standing stoic and unremarkable in the watery sunlight that filtered down through the domed glass ceiling. I walked through without hesitation, though my pulse quickened a second before I stepped into the mirage. But instead of hitting solid wall, I passed easily through like the wall wasn't even there. Instead, the platform that was invisible to Muggle's eyes unfolded before me. The black and red train that would take me and hundreds of others deep into the wilderness sat immobile on the tracks, a cloud of steam issuing from its pipe every minute or so. Already, the platform was filling with students and parents. I could see a few overly-excited students onboard, chatting with their friends or reading books. Much more stood with their families, unwilling to say goodbye.

Thankfully, I had already bid my farewells to mine.

The Pettigrews materialized behind me. Peter was looking better, more sure of himself. Mulciber and Avery's intimidation tactics hadn't worked as long as they'd hoped. I searched the pockets of witches and wizards for any sign of the thugs, but was unsuccessful. I only recognized a few others, and only because we shared classes. Aside from Peter, I was alone.

"I don't see anyone." Peter said uncertainly. "Where's James and Sirius?"

"I don't know." I replied, scanning the crowd fruitlessly. "I'm going to wait on the train. Maybe the food trolley will be going around early."

"Maybe." Peter said nervously. He looked like the last thing he wanted was to be on his own, even for a moment. I sighed. "You can stay with me, if you'd like."

"No, no." Peter said quickly. "I'll stay with Mum and Dad. See you on the train?" He added hopefully.

"Maybe." I said evasively, because I knew I would likely sit with Lily and Severus again.

Peter was swallowed up by his parents. The station was filling with more families by the second. The first stages of claustrophobia were settling in. Antsy, I pushed and weaved my way through the pedestrians and climbed aboard. The first compartment I came across was empty. Thankful, I hurried inside and shut the door. The glass was frosted for privacy. No one would find me here. I decided to watch from the bare window for Lily's telltale red hair. But since it was still so early, it was unlikely that she would make an appearance any time soon.

I drummed my fingers against my thigh. Someone had left a tattered copy of _Witch Weekly _wedged between the seat and the wall of the compartment. It was the summer edition from months prior. I opened the first page and scanned the advertisement for Amortentia, the world's most powerful love potion. I was on page four, reading the third paragraph of an article about mermaids and veelas, when a crash like thunder throttled the train so hard that I toppled to the ground. I was in a crumpled, dazed heap when a second explosion burst, shaking the train so hard that the wheels squealed against the rails. I could barely see as the door to my compartment was wrenched open and a figure stood in the space, dark smoke swirling around his feet.

"Come on," he said in a gruff voice, coming closer, "we've got to get out of here."

"Why?" I managed, already choking on the rising clouds of smoke. "What's going on?"

The figure came closer. It took me a moment of confusion and hesitation to recognize him. Scars ran across his face in violent pink-and-silver slashes. Sweat beaded on his brow. A fresh cut oozed red blood on his left hand. His intense green eyes surveyed me a moment before he reached down, grabbed my hand, and drew me to my feet with surprisingly strength and grace.

"There's no time to explain." Remus said urgently. "Come on! Run!"


	34. The Skull and the Serpent

It was pure pandemonium.

People scattered, abandoning all pretense as they ran for their lives. Smoke billowed in choking, black clouds. Flames spiraled around a spot in the very middle of Platform 9 ¾. Several figures were lying very still in the proximity. I felt a thrill of horror at the carnage. They couldn't be dead. These people were just hurt, that was all.

But why was there so much blood?

"Come on." Remus urged, tugging me away from the horrible scene. Part of me wanted to stay and fight, to strike back at whatever evil had just happened, but Remus's iron grip prevented me from making any attempts. He dragged me back through the barrier between the magical world and the Muggle world, not stopping until we were outside of King's Cross. Cars surged by, the air filled with the sounds of horns and rushing vehicles rather than terrified screams and thunderous explosions.

I was trembling from head to foot, trying in vain to banish the awful images that kept replaying in my mind. Remus was moving his hands over me briskly; I realized he was checking me for injuries. I touched a hand to my burning forehead, which came away wet.

"You have a small cut," Remus said grimly. "Here." He tore off of a section of his shirt and pressed it against the stinging wound. I stared at him blankly, feeling cold in spite of the warm late summer sun.

"What… what happened?" I managed.

Remus was tight-lipped. He wasn't shaking, but he was pale and strained. He took a moment to answer.

"I don't know for sure," he began slowly. "But I think someone tried to blow up the train. That wasn't an accident. It couldn't be."

I thought of the lifeless bodies lying on the pavement, and had to fight hard to prevent myself from being sick all over Remus. "No." I said hoarsely. "It was more than that. I think it was an attack on the passengers. Not just the train… the timing of it... Students… families…"

"My God." Remus said, appalled. "Who would do a thing like this?"

My thoughts zeroed in on the faceless enemy I had never met. "Lord Voldemort." I said slowly. "And… Folsom."

Remus swore. "I can't believe Dumbledore was letting him _teach! _How could he…" he trailed off.

I shivered, my mind spinning with adrenaline and revulsion. "Maybe he wanted to keep his enemy close. Or maybe he just thought he wasn't evil. I mean, he must have seen him grow up, right? He probably never thought he was rotten to the core."

"I don't care." Remus growled. "It's easy to spot danger when it's right there in front of your nose. Damn it!" He swore again suddenly. "I hope James and Sirius are alright. We were supposed to meet on the train in ten minutes. I hope they were late."

The chances were likely in their favor. James and Sirius weren't known for being punctual for anything, except for mealtimes. But Peter…

"Peter was with me." I said quietly. "His parents too. They were right behind me."

Remus looked horrified. "They're fine." He said immediately. "They're okay." But he looked just as scared as I felt.

A moment later, a huge stream of wizards and witches wearing cloaks rushed past us and straight for Platform 9 3/4, not even looking at the gaping Muggles. Wizards only abandoned the delicate and vital caution of keeping our kind secret when it was life or death. The International Statute of Secrecy wouldn't matter as much when the lives of young wizards and witches were at stake.

"What should we do?" I whispered. "Maybe we should go back… help them…"

"No." Remus said instantly. "No way. I'm not bringing you back in there until it's safe."

"But our friends could be in there!" I protested. I thought of Lily, who could have been inside of the platform during the explosions. Tears pricked my eyes in fear. "What if Lily was hurt? I just lost Virginia, I can't lose Lily too!"

Remus looked anguished. "We _can't _Amber. We just can't. We have to wait just a little longer. Alright?"

I wanted to collapse into tears, but I wasn't a little kid anymore. This was serious and real. I had to be strong now. For Remus, and for my friends, who could have been been alright or injured, or worse. I didn't know, couldn't know, until we went back inside. So we waited, Remus's hand keeping steady pressure on my cut. Clusters of worried-looking Ministry officials kept blowing past every few seconds. I told Remus about seeing Folsom just minutes ago in Flourish and Blotts, unnoticed. I told him too of Mulciber and Avery beating up Peter in the alleyway. Finally, I couldn't take the waiting any longer.

"I have to try and find them." I begged. "Please, Remus. We can help."

Remus didn't look convinced. "What if Folsom is still around? What if he was the one to orchestrate… this? He might be looking for you, Amber."

But I didn't care. I remembered what Professor Smith had told me over the summer, when she was teaching me about vampires and Folsom. She had told me that I would be safe, as long as I had a werewolf with me. Remus fit the bill.

"How did you find me?" I asked abruptly. "On the train. I was alone."

Now Remus looked embarrassed. "I smelled you."

"Oh."

Now neither of us could look at each other in the face. Remus cleared his throat. "Let's go. Wand out."

Before we could walk through the barrier, a formidable-looking witch with her hair pulled back into a bun halted us. "Wait."

I jumped. "Professor Smith!"

She was holding her wand, wearing her usual black cloaks, making her look like a large, elegant bat. She looked just as intimidating and formidable as usual, but now, there was a hardness in her face that scared me. Whoever had done this was going to reap the wrath of her, the woman whose Patronus took the form of a basilisk.

I shivered again.

"Our friends." Remus implored. "We need to find them."

Professor Smith shook her head once. "It's a nasty scene in there, you two. I don't know if you're prepared for the shock."

"We were there when it happened." I said. "Remus rescued me."

Professor Smith surveyed me wordlessly.

"Please." I pressed. "You trained me yourself this summer. You know I can handle this."

She gave a tiny, curt nod. "If I tell you to leave, you will do it. Understood?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Yeah." Remus echoed.

"Very well." Professor Smith marched through the barrier without fear or hesitation. We followed.

The platform was nearly devoid of students and their families now. Most of them were hiding or had simply run away for their lives. Now, nearly a hundred Ministry officials were positioned inside. Half of them were milling around, searching the platform or examining various spots of the station. The fire that had blasted off close to the Hogwarts Express had been extinguished. The other half was standing around, talking in loud, urgent voices. I recognized Eugenia Jenkins, the tiny powerhouse woman who was the current Minister of Magic, standing in the midst of several tall wizards. Professor Smith had stopped in her tracks just feet from us.

"Professor?" I asked, hurrying forward. "What's the matter?"

She kept her back to me, rigid.

Remus let out a half-growl, half-gasp of horror. "What… what is _that_?"

I shrank against Remus as I followed his gaze. Rising from the faint white smoke where the fire had burned was a glittering green skull with a snake protruding from its mouth. Several Ministry officials cried out in fear. A few of them swayed on their feet or moved away from the evil-looking apparition. With a surge of dread, I saw that near where the explosion had occurred, there were several white sheets covering mounds. Human-sized mounds.

I couldn't breathe.

Professor Smith apparently couldn't either. She blinked hard, taking a huge exhale.

"That's the Dark Mark." She said very quietly, so that I had to strain to hear it, like she didn't mean for anyone else to catch her words. Then she hurried forward to the Mark, accompanied by many officials with brandished wands.

"There are bodies…" I said softly.

Remus said nothing. He stayed by my side, silent.

"Amber? Remus?!"

We both jerked around. Lily was flying towards us, her long flame-colored hair streaming behind her. Her eyes were red, and tears flew behind her as she collided into us. She crushed me in a desperate hug, and then treated Remus to the same.

"Ouch! Er, Lily, we're fine!" Remus choked.

"I was so worried!" She wailed. "We were late because Tuney couldn't make up her mind whether or not she wanted to come see me off. And then Mum wanted to buy me an early lunch… James and Sirius just told me that someone attacked the Platform!"

"James and Sirius?" Remus said sharply. "They're alright?"

Lily nodded vigorously, wiping her eyes. "Yes. They arrived just a moment before the explosions. Peter's with them."

Remus looked overwhelmingly relieved. He stumbled back slightly, passing a shaking hand over his face.

"I was on the train." I said numbly. "I was reading a magazine… I think I know who did this."

"You _do_?" She said incredulously. "Who? And what is that evil mark over there? That's terrible!"

Professor Smith and a few others were trying and failing to dissipate the green skull. The serpent hissed ominously, as if it was going to strike.

"I think Voldemort had something to do with this." I said. "And Folsom."

Lily clapped a hand over her mouth. "You mean that shady guy that went to Hogwarts years and years ago? And Folsom?"

"Yeah." I said grimly. "Who else?"

"I don't know." Lily whispered. "I don't know who could do such a thing."

"I do." I said quietly as I watched the snake wind its way through an empty eye socket of the evil green skull.

The three of us remained together as eleven o'clock neared, huddled like a group of penguins in the cold, numb with shock. Finally, Eugenia Jenkins pointed her wand at her own throat and said _"Sonorus."_

Her voice was magically magnified several times, so that it echoed across the platform, silencing the babble of Ministry officials trying to sort out the attack.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Jenkins said in a calm, collected voice, schooled free of any emotion other than control, "we have just experienced a terrible ordeal. The Ministry is working tirelessly to decipher the masterminds of the attack and take necessary action to punish those responsible.

"In light of the attack, we will be placing a Ministry official on each compartment on the Hogwarts Express. We will be continuing on schedule with sending our students to their next year at school."

"She knows Hogwarts is the safest place for us to be." Lily muttered.

"I don't know." I said dryly. "Folsom _was _teaching there last year. And the lake's full of jealous, murderous mermaids…"

"Amber." Remus reprimanded.

I fell silent, my sense of safety utterly shattered.

"Furthermore, we wish to extend our deepest condolences to the families of the victims." Jenkins continued. "In as calm and organized a manner as possible, please have your students board the express. The train has been fully inspected and has been deemed safe for travel. Thank you."

She pulled her wand away and was instantly swallowed up by the surrounding crowd of officials. Like a queen bee, she was hidden and protected by her hive.

Families emerged uncertainly from their hiding places or from the barrier that separated our world from the Muggle world. Every face was pale with fear and trepidation. I watched as a line of officials stood tactfully in front of the casualties, providing a human screen so no other children would see the horror of the attack. A cloud of steam issued from the express. Just ten minutes were left until eleven.

"We should go." I said shakily. "On the train."

Remus's hand found mine. "I'll stay with you."

"Me too." Lily said. "Come on."

The three of us made our way past the adults and boarded the express. Every muscle was tensed, ready for another attack, as we chose a compartment and watched the uncertain crowd outside.

But nothing else happened. Five minutes passed before any of spoke again. We had been listening, waiting, for another explosion.

"Do you really think we're safe?" Lily said at last, pale. "I mean, I know there's all those officials out there… but doesn't it seem… unsafe now? I feel so…"

"…vulnerable." I finished.

She nodded once. Nothing more needed to be said.

The compartment door slid open. James and Sirius, always a package deal, stared down at us. Instinctively, I pulled my hand free from Remus's. They weren't cracking any jokes now. In fact, both boys looked uncharacteristically serious.

"You're alright?" James said brusquely. "You're not hurt?"

I realized he was speaking to all three of us. "We're fine." Remus said. "Amber got a cut, but it's not serious. Where's Peter?"

"Here." said Peter, emerging from behind James and Sirius. He looked absolutely terrified, hunched over and wringing his wrists.

"Do you know what's happened?" James said as he sat down next to Lily, who rolled her eyes and promptly sat beside me. Sirius sat beside James, who was quickly flanked by a nervous Peter.

"Dark wizards, obviously." Lily said snappishly, still clearly not at ease with either James or Sirius.

"Professor Smith said something about a Dark Mark." I recalled. "That skull and serpent… it must mean something."

Lily gave me a highly affronted look. "Why are you talking about this in front of them?" She hissed in my ear. "We can't trust them!"

I shot her a meaningful look. "I do." I said quietly, so that only she could here.

Lily folded her arms and gave an angry huff.

"Whatever happened, it wasn't good." Sirius said hollowly. "Do you know what Death Eaters are?"

"Dark wizards?" I guessed, the name slightly familiar but shrouded in confusion. "I can't remember."

"They're the followers of Voldemort." Sirius said quietly. He was staring at the floor, his black eyes filled with shadows. "Most of them are pureblood supremacists. They prize the Dark Arts. I think they're the ones behind this."

"We think Folsom was." Remus said. "It fits, doesn't it? He's pure evil. And not just because he's a vampire. He was friends with Voldemort when he was younger. We learned that from his file."

"Professor Smith said it was a Dark Mark." I reminded them. "Maybe that has something to do with Death Eaters."

"It does." Sirius said dully. "It's their symbol."

"How do you know?" Lily countered. "What makes you so knowledgeable? I know your grades. They're so low I doubt you'll ever be able to get one O.W.L.!"

"Lily." I said, shocked at her venom.

Her green eyes flashed. "You'll have to excuse me, Amber. I don't really hold Black or Potter in high regard, considering how they treat Sev. I don't see how you can, either."

I stared at her. "Now isn't the time." I said at last.

Lily shook her head and let out an exhale. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset from… the attack."

"It's fine." James said, surprising all of us. He looked awkward, but then focused his attention on Sirius. "Go on. You can tell them."  
Sirius looked uncertainly at Lily. "I don't know. You won't like it."

"Don't worry." Lily said scathingly. "There's no way I could like you any less that I already do."

I rolled my eyes. A muscle jerked in Sirius's cheek. "Fine. I'll tell you. I know this was Death Eaters work, and I know that thing was a Dark Mark because my father is one. My dad is a Death Eater."

Total silence met his words. Only James looked unsurprised. He must have already known.

But Lily's jaw had dropped open. I hadn't realized that I had placed a hand over my mouth.

But it all made sense. When we had gone through his office… when he had been dining with Folsom and Fenrir… the things he had said… he was a supporter of Voldemort. He was a Death Eater.

"I think Professor Smith may be one too." Sirius added grimly, shocking us all. "How else would she have known what it was?"

"That's _ridiculous_!" I retorted hotly. "She isn't a Death Eater, Sirius! That's rubbish!"

"I don't know." Sirius said darkly. "She seems awfully knowledgeable about Dark stuff, doesn't she?"

"Maybe because she's an Auror and she's also a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?" I snapped. "Come on, Sirius, shove off. That's rubbish."

"What if Professor Smith _is_ a Death Eater?" James pressed.

"She's not." Remus answered coolly. "Death Eaters can't produce a Patronus. She can."

"But it's a _basilisk_!" Peter objected. "She showed me this summer when my boggart turned into a dementor. She made it go away."

We all sat in tense silence. The train let out a piercing shriek and slowly rolled forward. The platform moved past slowly as we departed the station, leaving behind the carnage. The confusion remained, sitting in the middle of the compartment like a fat black crow.

"Look." I said quietly. "Professor Smith isn't Dark. She's not a Death Eater, either. Dumbledore trusts her, and so do I."

"Dumbledore's made mistakes before." James argued. "He trusted Folsom, and look where that went."

"Everyone makes mistakes." Lily flared up.

I rubbed my hands over my face. They were cold as ice. "Look, I know Professor Smith personally. She's had countless chances to harm any of us this summer, and did she? No. She trained all of us. We would probably be dead without her."

Peter let out a small whimper. "I wonder who _did _die…"

I felt the bile rise in my throat. I shook my head. "Let's not think about that right now, Peter. Let's just focus on getting back to school. We're all safe. That's what matters."

"I don't know." Sirius said, gazing out of the window as London blurred past in a flash of gray buildings and cloudy sky. "But I think we all know this isn't the end of it."

Just then, the compartment door opened again. Severus's pale face poked in, and promptly turned puce at the sight of his two tormentors sitting inside. Lily jumped up and flew into him, crushing him in a hug.

"Oh, Sev, you're alright!" She cried. "I was so worried! Come on, let's go. I want to hear about your summer."

Severus's black eyes glared at us over her shoulder, and he left without a word. I watched as James and Sirius' expressions changed from that of seriousness to predatory interest, like wolves sizing up a deer. Lily and Severus disappeared with the closing of the compartment door.

"I should go with them." I said, worried. "We're safer in numbers."

"Which is exactly why you should stay here." Remus insisted.

I sighed, touching my cut, which was slowly scabbing over. Peter looked worse for the wear with his injuries from Mulciber and Avery, but seemed to draw strength from the presence of James and Sirius. The compartment door opened once more. An olive-skinned thirteen-year-old with long, raven-dark hair froze in our compartment. It was a fellow Ravenclaw, Angelina Azadian, who I knew on friendly terms but did not know well, as I did with Lily. Her gray eyes widened. Angelina's gaze drifted over Remus's face briefly and turned slightly pink. I frowned, half-rising from my seat.

"I'm sorry." She stammered. "I was just looking for Lily. I thought she'd be with you."

"She was." I answered. "She just left with Severus. Come on. I'll go with you. I know where she went."

"Stay." Remus implored.

Angelina shuffled on her feet. "We can all stay, I guess. If that's alright."

I glanced between her and Remus, completely oblivious to the fact that James and Sirius were sniggering behind my back. I noticed the way she was shyly averting her gaze from Remus, and how she was nervously twirling a lock of shiny black hair around a finger. I felt a twisting stab of jealousy, surprising me more than anything else today had.

"No." I said firmly. For whatever reason, the last thing I wanted was proximity between Remus and Angelina. "I'll take you. Come on."

"See you on the platform in Hogsmeade." James said, looking amused behind his glasses. Sirius coughed, failing to disguise his own entertainment. Remus looked annoyed and picked up a book. I led Angelina away without a backwards glance.

The Hogwarts Express eased to a halt after dark. The sky glittered with pinpricks of light. It was breathtakingly beautiful, a stark contrast to the horrors of Platform ¾ back in London.

Lily and I emerged from our compartment, Severus and Angelina in tow, each of us donned in our school uniforms. Severus looked surly as ever when we descended the steps and onto the concrete. The towering figure of the gamekeeper, Hagrid, stood out against the lamps illuminating the platform.

"First years!" He called in his intimidating voice. "This way, please! First years only!"

"I remember that." Lily murmured, watching several nervous-looking first years assemble in front of Hagrid. "But I don't remember being that small."

"Neither do I." I agreed.

Each year past, the crowd congregating outside of the express and making their way towards the carriages had been loud and rowdy. This year, however, there was an unnatural hush. Only whispers filled the air. News of the attacks had traveled quickly, and every student looked wary and tense. A few sported slowly healing injuries, like me.

There was a sudden gasp of alarm. I looked behind me, staring at Peter, who was a few groups behind us, gazing in fear at the carriages that would take us to the castle.

"What?" I heard James demand. "What's the matter? Did you trip over your feet again?"

But a few students had screamed too. I drew out my wand, Lily brushing closer. "What's wrong?" She whispered, frightened.

"It's nothing." Severus growled.

Several Ministry officials were corraling us. They had ridden the Express with the students, and it was clear they were going to see us all the way to the castle. After several tense moments, one of them waved her hand nonchalantly.

"There's no danger!" She said loudly, a tall woman with angular eyes and a sweep of long, dark hair shot through with silver. "Some of you are just seeing thestrals for the first time. They are gentle creatures and won't harm you. They've been pulling the carriages since Hogwarts was incepted. Please continue to board and do not panic."

"Thestrals?" Angelina echoed.

"They're like giant black skeleton-horses." I informed her, as Lily opened her mouth to add, "and they're only seen by those who have…" she faltered.

"Seen death." Severus finished darkly.

Angelina clapped a hand to her mouth, looking appalled.

I shut my eyes against the images of the bodies on the platform. Even though I had been onboard during the attack, I hadn't realized that other students had been on the ground. Some of them would have seen it.

I took a steadying breath and climbed up into a carriage. To me and many others, it still looked like it was being driven by itself.

Lily looked shaken as she followed me inside. Angelina was rubbing her hands. Severus gazed out of the window, expressionless.

"This is just so awful!" Lily burst out at last. "How could this have happened? What do you think will happen to us this year? I mean, Platform ¾ is supposed to be safe. Really safe. What if Hogwarts is compromised too?"

"It won't be." Severus reassured her. "Dumbledore's here."

"He's one of the best Headmasters we've ever had." I added, even though I privately disagreed with Dumbledore trying to see the best in people. Like how he had tried to see the best in Folsom. How could wise, old Dumbledore been so blind to the darkness that emanated from Folsom like stench from overflowing garbage?

"I hope so." Angelina said softly.

The rest of the ride passed in total silence. Only the sound of the carriage wheels rolling over the stone path broke the quiet. We departed before the entrance of Hogwarts, greeted by two huge oak doors with brass, winged boars for knockers. They slowly opened by themselves, revealing the massive entrance hall and the gleaming marble staircase that would lead into the Great Hall. We entered, surrounded by other students in their black school robes. Whispers and a few sniffles punctuated the still air. I craned my neck slightly to gaze at the crowd of students behind me, catching sight of the other Marauder's faces and the four gleaming hourglasses that held the colored gems of each House. Awaiting us at the foot of the steps was Mrs. Norris, her large, red, lamp-like eyes never blinking as we filed past her up the steps and into the Great Hall.

The four long tables were covered with empty goblets and plates. Though there was no food, the strong scent of cooking permeated the air. I couldn't feel hunger. I only felt shock, and revulsion at what had occurred. By the silence of my classmates, I guessed that they felt the same way.

We all took our seats without a word. I couldn't even appreciate the beauty of the thousands of candles floating in the air, nor the rich tapestries of each House hanging at the front of the Hall behind the staff table. Already, several of the teachers were there. None of them were smiling.

The air of despair and grimness only intensified as the Hall gradually filled up. Slytherin was seated at the far side of the room, next to Hufflepuff. My own table of Ravenclaws was placed between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor this year. I watched as Severus took his seat and looked at Lily with a mixed expression of longing and concern.

Whispers rushed around the Hall like a quiet wind. But before it could get any noisier, Dumbledore rose from his high-backed chair at the center of the staff table. Instantly, the noise went out like a candle being extinguished.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts." Dumbledore began, smiling wistfully. "Unfortunately, this is a start that I don't believe any of you have had before."

There were quiet murmurs of dissent among the tables, the loudest among the Gryffindors. I spotted James and Sirius, heads bent together, talking in inaudible, but clearly compelling voices. Remus gazed up at the staff table without blinking. Peter was transfixed by whatever James and Sirius were saying. Lily was perched next to Remus.

"Today," Dumbledore continued, and the whispers ceased again, "we witnessed a terrible attack on innocent lives. It is my greatest sorrow to inform you that four people were murdered today on Platform 9 ¾. Since the families have already been notified, the Ministry of Magic has given me clearance to inform you as well. Rufus Wiles, Jack Morden, Jericho Fleet, and Bellona Ramkin lost their lives in the attacks today."

I felt a cold wave of shock and recognition wash over me. A cry of sorrow broke out among the Ravenclaws.

"Oh, no." Angelina whispered next to me. "Jericho was one of our new Chasers. She was at tryouts last year, remember? She was brilliant!"

Other sounds of grief and shock echoed across the Hall until Dumbledore raised his hand once more. This time, it took longer for the noises to quell down.

"It is in light of the occasion that we will be changing the colors for a brief period, to honor the lives of those lost. The tapestries will be covered in black after the feast.

"I have spoken with the Minister, and she agrees that it is best that we continue your lessons as scheduled. Tomorrow, you will find those schedules for the rest of the year in your House Common Room. We are not entirely certain who is behind the attacks, but you may be assured that within the boundaries of Hogwarts, you are safe."

I wondered if anyone was going to clap at his speech, but no one did. A few girls down the table were crying. _They must be Quidditch players, too. Her friends. _I realized.

"And now," Dumbledore said, "it is time to Sort our new first year students."

At that precise moment, the doors to the Hall opened once more. A procession of terrified-looking first years were led in by Professor McGonagall, who was also carrying a tattered old hat, a roll of parchment, and a stool.

A quiet rustling noise alerted me to a new presence. Lily had reseated herself beside me. She brushed back her long sweep of red hair, inching closer so we could talk. She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. "Wait," I hissed as the rip in the Sorting Hat opened. "He's going to sing."

The Hall was filled with silence, awaiting the Hat's customary song that he performed each year. McGongall placed it on the stool, a second before he croaked out:

_In times of old, when I was new,_

_And Hogwarts barely started,_

_The founders of our noble school_

_Thought never to be parted. _

_United by a common goal,_

_They had the selfsame yearning_

_To make the world's best magic school_

_And pass along their learning._

_"Together we will build and teach"_

_The four good friends decided._

_And never did they dream that they_

_Might some day be divided._

_For were there such friends anywhere_

_As Slytherin and Gryffindor?_

_Unless it was the second pair_

_Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,_

_So how could it have gone so wrong?_

_How could such friendships fail?_

_Why, I was there, so I can tell_

_The whole sad, sorry tale. _

_Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those_

_Whose ancestry's purest."_

_Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose_

_Intelligence is surest."_

_Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those_

_With brave deeds to their name."_

_Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot_

_And treat them just the same."_

_These differences caused little strife_

_When first they came to light._

_For each of the four founders had_

_A house in which they might_

_Take only those they wanted, so,_

_For instance, Slytherin_

_Took only pure-blood wizards_

_Of great cunning just like him._

_And only those of sharpest mind_

_Were taught by Ravenclaw_

_While the bravest and the boldest_

_Went to daring Gryffindor._

_Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest_

_and taught them all she knew,_

_Thus, the houses and their founders_

_Maintained friendships firm and true._

_So Hogwarts worked in harmony_

_for several happy years,_

_but then discord crept among us_

_feeding on our faults and fears. _

_The Houses that, like pillars four_

_had once held up our school_

_now turned upon each other and_

_divided, sought to rule._

_And for a while it seemed the school_

_must meet an early end._

_what with dueling and with fighting_

_and the clash of friend on friend._

_And at last there came a morning_

_when old Slytherin departed_

_and though the fighting then died out_

_he left us quite downhearted._

_And never since the founders four_

_were whittled down to three_

_have the Houses been united_

_as they once were meant to be._

_And now the Sorting Hat is here_

_and you all know the score:_

_I sort you into Houses_

_because that is what I'm for._

_But this year I'll go further,_

_listen closely to my song:_

_though condemned I am to split you_

_still I worry that it's wrong,_

_Though I must fulfill my duty_

_and must quarter every year_

_still I wonder whether sorting_

_may not bring the end I fear._

_Oh, know the perils, read the signs,_

_the warning history shows,_

_for our Hogwarts is in danger_

_from external, deadly foes_

_And we must unite inside her_

_or we'll crumble from within_

_I have told you, I have warned you..._

_let the Sorting now begin._

There was a smattering of half-hearted applause. I watched as Professor McGonagall called up the first student, a young girl named Avery Graves. The girl was quickly Sorted into Slytherin.

"Sorry." I apologized quietly as a boy was called up next. "Lily, did Professor Smith she try to teach you the Patronus Charm?"

Lily looked surprised. "No, but I thought we wouldn't have to start learning that until our sixth or seventh year. Why?"

The boy, Richie Sweeting, was placed in Hufflepuff.

"She says I need to learn it." I muttered. "In order to protect myself against Folsom. Since he's a vampire."

"She told me that much." Lily confirmed. "Over the summer. How often did you train?"

"A few times a week." I hissed. "Why?"

Lily was staring at my lap. "Why are you doing that to your napkin?"

My hands stilled. I hadn't realized I had been doing it, but I was methodically tearing a napkin into tiny pieces. I quickly placed the shreds of paper on the table. Lily tapped them with her willow wand. "_Scourgify."_

The shreds vanished.

"I only trained once a week, if that." Lily murmured. "Sometimes once every two weeks. Do you really think that Folsom is after you?"

"She said he holds grudges, and I know he's got it out for me." I said. "Professor Smith said that my only real protection is learning the Patronus Charm." I studied my empty plate. "The problem is that this is the one charm I can't do."

Lily's eyes widened. "But you're excellent with Charms. You're almost as good as I am!"

"Gee, thanks Lily." I said sarcastically. "That's really going to make me feel better."

Lily grinned sheepishly. "I'm sorry. It's just… it's not like you to not pick up a spell quickly. Maybe you should talk to Professor Smith. Or Dumbledore. I'll do some reading in the library myself and see if there's a reason why you're struggling with it. Maybe it's something to do with what happened to you."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

A fifth-year Ravenclaw girl gave us a nasty stare. I noticed that she was wearing a Prefect's badge. Lily and I huddled closer together, oblivious to the Sorting still occurring at the front of the Hall.

"I think… well, maybe this has to do with grief or something." Lily said, lowering her voice so that I had to strain to hear her. "Maybe it has to do with Virginia."

What little joy I had felt from being back at Hogwarts flickered and died. I dropped my gaze to the stone floor. "Oh. Yeah. That might be why."

Lily looked upset. "I'm sorry, Amber. I'm probably wrong. I'll talk to Flitwick too since he's the Charms teacher. We'll find out why. And don't worry about Folsom so much here. We're safe."

"Yeah." I said, not wanting to talk about this anymore with the Prefect glaring at us and with the knowledge that Virginia should had been here hanging like a ghost in my mind. If she had lived, she would have been a second year. I would have bet anything she would have been Sorted in Hufflepuff.

The last first year to be Sorted was Gytha Youdle, who joined the Hufflepuff table. Professor McGonagall rolled up the parchment, picked up the Sorting Hat and the stool, and exited the Hall.

Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet again and spread his hands. "Without further ado… let the feast begin!"

Instantly, the plates before us filled with mountains of food. Different rumps of carved meat, sandwiches, soups, breads, and produce sat waiting, but didn't have to linger long as many pairs of hands reached forward and began heaping helpings onto their own plates. Lily dived for the treacle tart, her favorite, as well as a helping of mashed potatoes and bratwurst. After a moment, I selected the brown-broth soup that smelled of garlic and rosemary and ladled a full bowlful. It had barley grains and several aromatic spices. I took a hunk of sourdough bread and filled my goblet with iced tea.

Lily chewed thoughtfully, surveying the other Ravenclaws. "Do you think they mind that I'm here?"

"Honestly, Lily," I chuckled as I ate a spoonful of the savory soup, "after three years, I don't think it matters."

"It shouldn't." Angelina added, eating a falafel wrap. The Gray Lady, Ravenclaw's ghost, drifted over, her face as melancholy as ever, and settled between the Prefect and another teenage girl. "Even though there's four separate Houses, we're all united as one. We should encourage more inter-House friendships."

Lily nodded enthusiastically as she ate. As more students were distracted by the gorgeous offerings of food, the air of despair and fear was replaced with a sense of celebration and homecoming, and soon the Hall was filled with the sounds of laughter and the cacophony of hundreds of people talking at once. I felt myself relaxing more and enjoying my meal. Despite the horrors of the day, I still had my friends. Remus and Lily were safe. Angelina wasn't so bad. She had probably just been shy around several boys, who had grown considerably over the summer holiday, especially Remus.

After the food had been demolished, Professor Dumbledore stood up once more and waved his hand. The carcasses of meat and empty dishes vanished. He smiled appreciatively at the jovial mood.

"Now that we've all been well-fed and watered, I have a second announcement to make."

"Is it just me, or do the Hufflepuffs seem more excited than usual?" Lily observed.

I followed the direction of her green gaze to the table next to us. Sure enough, there was a buzz of activity and anticipation swarming the table. I frowned.

"I wonder what it could be." I muttered.

Professor Dumbledore smiled down at the Hufflepuffs. "Unfortunately, I will have to make that particular announcement later."

There were more murmurs of confusion and a definite moan of disapproval from the Hufflepuffs. Dumbledore raised his hands for silence.

"I implore you for patience. I would like to introduce someone very important, someone who many of you may already know from her brief foray into professional Quidditch." Dumbledore nodded to the front of the entrance Hall, smiling indulgently.

We all turned to stare at the figure wearing black standing in the huge archway of the Great Hall. Even from here, in the dim light of the candles, her face was thrown in sharp relief. I knew who it was before Dumbledore even opened his mouth again, because her long scar was so telltale. Apparently others could see it too, because there was immediately a wind of whispers and murmurs. I frowned as she swept forward, her head held high, regal as a queen. Her black cloak billowed behind her like swirling clouds of dark smoke as she made her way to the staff table.

"Merlin's beard," Angelina whispered, sounding horrified and awed. "Who is _that_?"

Dumbledore answered before I could.

"I would like to introduce your newest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Willow Smith."


	35. The Legacy of Hufflepuff

The whispers rose into a louder cacophony of words as Professor Smith swept her way up to the staff table. She shook hands briefly with Dumbledore, who smiled widely at her while she merely returned his friendly gesture with a curt nod. She made her way to the empty seat where Folsom had sat just last year.

Dumbledore raised his hands again for silence. "Professor Smith, in addition to her fame as a Quidditch Player, has also served as an Auror for the past several years. I expect all of you to appreciate her wealth of knowledge and expertise as we move forward in this year."

Angelina was staring at Professor Smith with her mouth hanging open. Lily frowned. "What? What's so shocking?"

"You two have never heard of her?" Angelina said in disbelief. "She was one of the best Chasers that the Holyhead Harpies ever had! She played for five years."

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really keep up with Quidditch too much."

Angelina rolled her gray eyes. "Honestly!" She said, exasperated. "She's a bit of a celebrity."

"She never told me." I murmured as Lily explained to Angelina that she was a Muggle-born, and therefore had no knowledge that Quidditch even existed for the first eleven years of her life.

I noticed that the Hufflepuff table looked extremely excited again. I caught sight of Sean Locke's handsome face. He was a seventh year this year, in his final year at Hogwarts. Even though we'd only ever spoken a handful of times, there was something alluring about him. He turned his head slightly and caught my gaze, much to my embarrassment. He grinned and waved. Mortified, I looked away.

Lily hadn't noticed. Instead, she was staring up at Dumbledore as he spoke. I listened in as well, trying to ignore the heat in my cheeks that hadn't been there a moment ago until I had looked at Sean.

"Before I make my announcement-", there was a loud groan of impatience from the Hufflepuff table, "I would like to remind all students that the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds, unless you are accompanied by a teacher, and that Hogsmeade is only open to third years and above, with signed permission slips. Mr. Filch has asked me to remind all students that Dungbombs, fake wands, and several other items are considered contraband. A full list of these banned items can be found in his office for any student who wishes to see the entire list."

"I bet _they'll _have every item on the list in their luggage." Lily whispered darkly as she glared at James and Sirius, who were grinning and whispering excitedly to each other.

"This year," Dumbledore continued. "I am very excited to announce the 1000th birthday of Helga Hufflepuff, one of the four founders of Hufflepuff." The Hufflepuff table whooped in delight. I saw most of my own House roll their eyes and mutter imperiously. Ravenclaws were known as the more reserved House of Hogwarts and looked down upon exuberance that Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tended to display.

"Helga Hufflepuff was a woman known for her rare kindness and her willingness to take on anyone into her House, while the other Founders selected candidates who presented traits they considered worthy." Dumbledore said. "In addition to these remarkable traits, Helga was also quite the culinary artist, and many of her recipes are still served today in our school at mealtimes."

"Did you know that?" I whispered to Lily. "That she was a good cook?"

Lily shrugged. "No. I _did _know she took on the unwanted students."

"I don't think they were unwanted." I disagreed, glancing over at Sean Locke once again. There was nothing about him that anyone wouldn't want.

"I digress." Dumbledore said, chuckling. "The staff and I agree that Helga Hufflepuff is a rather unsung hero, and so, this year, we wish to celebrate what would have been her 1000th birthday. This year, in addition to gaining points for your Houses by participating in class, correctly answering questions, and winning Quidditch matches, you will also be more highly rewarded for demonstrating traits that Helga Hufflepuff treasured. Loyalty, fairness, and hard work will be more heavily rewarded this year."

"I guess we know who isn't going to win the House cup this year." I joked to Lily. "Slytherin."

Lily tossed her lengthening mane of red hair. "I don't know. Not all Slytherins are bad."

I knew she was thinking of Severus. But I couldn't help my gaze as it drifted over the faces of Mulciber, Avery, Nott, and small Regulus, who was beginning his second year. My gaze traveled next to Sirius and James. Sirius wasn't paying any attention to his little brother, and the same was true for the latter. It was like they weren't even family. Like they didn't even know each other.

"We will also be holding two separate events this year related to Helga Hufflepuff's birthday." Dumbledore went on. "First, around Christmas time, we will be holding a formal ball to celebrate diversity and goodwill among our Houses. This ball will be open to anyone, as Helga Hufflepuff encouraged everyone to make good tidings with all, regardless of age, race, or House."

There was a buzz of excitement rising mostly from the females in the Great Hall. I could see the same snotty Ravenclaw Prefect who had just shushed me and Lily now gabbering and giggling like an obnoxious seabird to the girl beside her. The Gray Lady remained as melancholy as ever.

"Secondly," Dumbledore said, "we will be holding the Highland Games at the end of the school year, on the eighth of June, which also happens to fall on Helga Hufflepuff's birthday. Anyone above the third year level is invited to participate. Specifics will be revealed in due time as we approach that special day. In addition to displaying the admirable traits of honesty, loyalty, fairness, and har work, this is how we will celebrate the legacy of Hufflepuff."

There was a sudden burst of applause and cheering from the Hufflepuff table. I couldn't hide my smile as Sean Locke leapt to his feet and clapped the hardest, grinning at Dumbledore. The entire House looked thrilled beyond words. Even Professor Smith, usually so grim and serious, was smiling at her new seat on the staff panel. "_I was a Hufflepuff, actually,"_ I remembered her saying at the end of last year. It made sense as to why she looked so eager and pleased.

"With that," Dumbledore said with a flourish of his hand, "I bid you goodnight! And welcome back to your newest year at Hogwarts!"

The sudden upheaval of students jumping to their feet and hurrying out of the Hall was deafening. Lily and I watched as the procession of students slowly filed out, the entrance clogged by the onslaught of bodies. We remained until only Professor Smith and Dumbledore were the only other occupants of the massive room. Both were speaking to each other in quiet voices so we couldn't hear. Lily turned and faced me, her green eyes alight with excitement.

"Did you know about this?" She said eagerly. "I had no idea. I knew they celebrated the birthdays of the other Houses… but those were all ages ago. I can't believe they're going to give us a ball!"

"Well," I admitted, "I'd rather compete in the Highland Games. I don't even own a dress."

Lily's mouth dropped open. "You _don't_?"

I shook my head sheepishly.

She threw up her hands in the air. "Well, it's a good thing we can go down to Hogsmeade now! We'll need to go shopping."

I tried to look enthusiastic, but Lily knew me better. I was far more of a tomboy than a princess.

"It won't be that bad." She said at my unhappy expression. "I'll help you pick out one. I think Remus will love you in anything you wear."

Sean, who had been floating in my mind, was driven out suddenly by the thought of Remus and I attending a ball. Together. Face flaming, jerked my head away.

Lily burst into laughter. "Oh, come on, Amber. I saw you holding hands on the train today."

"He was just comforting me." I said lamely. I was thinking of us holding hands in Diagon Alley, when there had been no danger present at all, except for when we had ventured into Knockturn Alley after Professor Smith.

Lily had a mischievious twinkle in her eye. "Sure it was. Alright. If you're not ready to admit your feelings, that's fine. I can wait."

"Lily!" I exclaimed, my face burning, which only made her laugh harder.

"Don't fuss." She giggled. "I'm just excited to see the Quidditch Tryouts this year. Maybe I should use the Confundus Charm on James' broom. He doesn't deserve his spot on the Quidditch Team. He's _such _a toerag."

"I can agree with that." I allowed, imagining Sean Locke on his broom. The feeling of flying on my Silver Arrow compared to few other things. But playing Quidditch would be a whole new level of intensity. Staying balanced above the ground was one thing. Playing a game competitively in addition would be a real challenge.

Just then, Professor Dumbledore and Professor Smith walked over. Both looked mildly amused. Lily and I jumped to our feet.

"We were just leaving." Lily said immediately.

"There's no need to apologize for catching up with good friends." Dumbledore said graciously. "I am pleased to see that already, you two have grasped the notion of Inter-House friendships."

Lily and I exchanged a look and grinned sheepishly.

Professor Smith looked down her scarred nose at us. "I expect to see you two ready for your Defense Against the Dark Arts class tomorrow?"

"Yes." We answered in tandem.

She nodded approvingly. "Good. Off to bed, you two." I could have sworn she gave us both a tiny wink as she and Dumbledore left the Hall together.

"Amber." Lily said urgently. "Shouldn't you talk to her about your Patronus Charm?"

I watched Professor Smith's back as she disappeared out of the Hall. "No," I said after a long moment. "She already knows."

Lily shrugged. "Well, alright. Just don't put it off forever. We've got to get you to learn that Charm. We won't be safe at Hogwarts forever."

"Thanks for that," I said dryly as we left together, the last ones to leave the Hall. I did notice, however, just as our feet left the room, that every tapestry was covered in black veils. In spite of the excitement and celebration of Hufflepuff's legacy, four people, including a student, had perished today. And that wasn't something not worth remembering. Even grief had its place among joy.

* * *

The next morning in Ravenclaw tower was chaotic. Nervous-looking first years huddled together in small packs, clearly afraid of getting in the way of older students. Several older students had already gathered their schedules and moved on to breakfast. Professor Flitwick was passing them around like little paper birds through the air, directing the schedules at each student. A small first year Ravenclaw girl let out a shriek of fright as her schedule hovered in front of her.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Miss O'Brien! It's not a lethifold!" Professor Flitwick squeaked, exasperated.

"Um, excuse me," I said awkwardly, ducking as a few sheets of paper zoomed overhead. "I haven't found mine yet."

"Oh." Professor Flitwick said, hassled. "Here you go, Miss Harkstone."

A sheet of parchment flew straight at my forehead. I snatched it from the air and examined it closely. First thing in the morning was Care of Magical Creatures with the Gryffindors, followed by Divination with the Hufflepuffs.

"Oh, excuse me, Miss Harkstone." Professor Flitwick said rather seriously. "I need to see you after classes tomorrow evening. Professor Dumbledore and I would like to speak with you, privately."

I glanced around to see if any other students had overheard what he had just said. None had, and all looked too engrossed in their own new schedules to bother catching anything of what he'd just said. I stooped, dropping my voice. "Is everything alright? Am I in some sort of trouble?"

Professor Flitwick laughed. "No, no, of course not, Miss Harkstone! Quite the contrary! Yes, please, if you would, meet me by Dumbledore's statue promptly after dinner tomorrow night, say around seven-thirty? You do know where that is?"

"Yes," I said, remembering when I had entered his office a few years ago to learn the news of my sister's death.

"Well, off you go then!" Professor Flitwick chastised to a group of gossiping fifth years by the hearth. "Make haste! Breakfast won't be around forever. The early bird catches the worm!"

I hurried down the winding steps that wound around in a tight spiral of Ravenclaw's Tower. Gleaming, black iron railings guarded anyone from falling. In my first year, Peter Pettigrew had tumbled twenty feet onto the hard marble below, on a dare from James and Sirius. I looked at the spot on the floor where his blood had pooled from his fractured skull and tried not to linger on the unpleasant memory.

The Great Hall was still shrouded in black when I arrived, but it hardly affected the cheerful, excited mood that hung in the air. Lily waved me over enthusiastically from the Gryffindor's table. She was seated next to Remus, who provided a human barrier between her and James and Sirius. I eased in beside her, unfolding my schedule.

"So, we've got Defense Against the Dark Arts together," I began, as Lily cut over me.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. "Double period, too! We don't have history together, but we still have Binns, so we can compare study notes. We have Transfiguration together!"

"But that's about it." I said, discouraged. "Look. I have Potions with the Slytherins, Care of Magical Creatures with Gryffindor, and, oh, wait, look. We do have Charms together."

"And… Divination?" Remus said in surprise, pulling my schedule away and frowning down upon it. "Why would you take Divination? We could have taken Arthimancy together."

"Oh, stop your moaning, Moony." James teased. "You'll still see your girlfriend for half of the day."

"I am _not _his girlfriend!" I said hotly.

"And I don't remember asking you to join in our conversation, Potter." Lily said disdainfully.

"No need to get all upset, Red," Sirius sniggered.

Lily rolled her eyes and buttered a biscuit. I folded two eggs and cheese inside of a flour tortilla.

"I don't know who'd bother wasting their time with Divination." James said scornfully. "I mean, come on. What would you need to know? What to wear for the next day? That's an easy answer. Just look out the window."

"Thanks for your unwanted commentary." Lily said nastily. "I'll ask Professor McGonagall if I can swap my Arthimancy class for Divination, so you won't be alone."  
"Thanks, Lily," I said glumly, because I knew that strict Professor McGonagall was more like to start wearing pink robes than allow a student to make any changes to their schedules.

"We have Care of Magical Creatures soon," Lily noticed. "We should go. I hear Professor Kettleburn's always got something good on his first day."

"Yeah, he's a real showoff." James said, grinning at Sirius.

Lily rose to her feet, shaking out her hair. "I'm sorry, Amber, but I really can't concentrate with all of this mosquito buzzing from over there. Let's go."

"Right behind you." I said shortly, throwing James and Sirius a dirty look, while they burst into laughter. Remus followed us.

"You know," Lily said the three of us exited the Hall and out onto the grounds, "if I didn't know better, I'd say James fancies you, Amber."

Her tone was light, but I detected a note of trouble. I frowned, glancing at Remus, who took a step closer to me so our steps were in tandem.

"I wouldn't fancy James Potter if he was the last toerag on earth." I said sourly as Lily led the way down the stone steps to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where lessons were taught.

Lily looked pleased. "Good. I just can't imagine why you bother being in their company. The same goes for you, Remus."

Remus shrugged, but didn't answer. He had conjured small orbs of blue fire and was holding them in his left hand. I knew why he hung around with the lot, and it wasn't because they were particularly good-hearted Samiritans. It was because James and Sirius had been smart enough to pick through Remus' elaborate stories and lies about his condition, and still wanted to be his friend anyway. Werewolf or not. How many other students would feel the same way? Would Lily hold the same prejudices?

"Looks like Professor Kettleburn's still got three limbs." Remus noticed as we halted outside of the Forbidden Forest. Professor Kettleburn was a grizzled man in his sixties, with a shock of wild white hair and scars all over his face. A dirty, green bandana was tied around his lined forehead, weatherbeaten and sunburned from his long years outdoors. His grayish-white beard was shot-through with brown specks. He also had a missing leg, replaced with a wooden peg. He narrowed his hard blue eyes at us as we approached.

"You're early." He said gruffly, shoving his scarred hands into a pair of dragonhide gloves.

I shrugged. "We wanted to see what today's lesson was."

Professor Kettleburn gave a low bark of a laugh. "Alright, lassie, if you say so." He shuffled off with a slight limp in his gait to a tree stump. He had a few packs he was shoving several items into before lashing them to a cart.

"So," Lily said while Professor Kettleburn had his back turned, "I'd like to ask you two a few questions."

"Shoot." I said, watching Remus juggle the floating blue flames.

Lily cleared her throat. "I want to know where you go every full moon, Remus."

Remus nearly dropped his flames. I gaped at Lily. He narrowed his electric green eyes at Lily. "Excuse me?"

I noticed that Professor Kettleburn had stopped his actions and was listening, though he tried to pretend that he wasn't. I took one of Remus's blue orbs of fire, uncomfortable.

"I get sick." Remus said shortly, when Lily didn't back down.

"And," she said quickly, "I want to know why you two bother with James and Sirius. Peter, I understand. He needs friends. But honestly, those two…"

"Well, you hang out with Severus," I said defensively.

"We've been friends for _years_!" Lily retorted, turning pink. "Look, Amber, if you don't fancy either of them, I really don't understand why you feel the need to parade around with them, especially after hours. In the corridors, on the grounds..."

"Can we talk about this later?" I said urgently, mortified that she would have the audacity to bluntly ask Remus about something so personal out in public. "Please?"

Lily dragged a hand through her hair, looking flustered and upset, clearly regretting saying anything. "Fine. But, Amber, I really don't want to bothering with those two this year. Please. They aren't good people."

Remus looked furious. He handed me the rest of his flames and glared into the forest. "Excuse me a minute."

I carefully balanced the flames, watching him leave. Lily conjured a jam jar and held it while I dropped the little fires inside. I screwed the lid on, not meeting her gaze. The silence spiraled horribly, broken only by the grunts of Professor Kettleburn, who was still slaving over his bags.

"I think you're being a bit of hypocrite, honestly." I muttered finally. "You and Severus… Lily, I don't think _he's _the kind of boy you want to hang around with."

"Why?" Lily said immediately. "Because he's a loner? Because he's a little awkward? Well, he doesn't bully people, and if you knew was his home life is like-"  
"I'm not looking for a pity party for Severus." I said harshly, thinking of my own fragile family. "Look. I need to tell you something."

Lily folded her arms, green eyes blazing. "Go on."

Swallowing hard, I cradled the jar of flames in my hands and took the plunge. "Last year, I was out of bounds, wandering the halls after hours. I found Severus. He was with a few other boys. Mulciber, Avery, Nott, and Regulus Black."

Lily lifted a brow. "He was?"

I nodded. "Yes. This was months ago, before Christmas. They attacked. Severus tried to protect me. Regulus tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on me. I should have told you before. But after what happened yesterday…"

Lily was silent.

"I think," I hedged, "I think those boys were Folsom's initiates. I think he may have been trying to get them to become Death Eaters."

"That's a lie." Lily snapped. "Sev would _never _become a Death Eater. He would never do anything horrible like what happened yesterday."

I searched Lily's face, but all I saw was the stubborn resolve of a girl who was defending her best friend. With a pang of jealousy and sorrow, I realized that Lily valued her friendship with Severus over her bond with me. Because she had known him since she was a little girl, he would always take precedence over me.

I considered Lily a sister. To think that she would prize Severus over me made something hurt inside.

I glanced at Remus, who was walking slowly along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, hands in his pockets. I wondered if I would do the same for him. Would I take his side over Lily's, if ever pushed to that point?

"Lily," I said quietly, trying to stay calm in spite of my racing heart, "I think you need to really think about how well you really know Severus. I know you have history, but listen. I know you're worried about me being with James and Sirius, but, no, listen."

Lily had turned her back, arms still crossed.

"Lily," I pleaded. "I'm not saying Severus is a Death Eater. But I've seen the five of them always together since last year. Don't act like you haven't seen it either. I caught Mulciber and Avery beating up Peter yesterday in Diagon Alley. James and Sirius don't use violence. They prank people and sometimes it gets out of hand. But what they do is _evil_. Lily, please. Don't be angry."

But clearly, that was exactly how she was feeling. Lily shot me a furious look through her narrowed green eyes.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this from you." She said quietly. "You, of all people. You're such a hypocrite, Amber."

Stung, I stared at her. Lily shot me one last look filled with betrayal and stormed off. The other students were quickly joining us, drifting down from the school. I watched Lily go, eyes filling with tears. How could we already be fighting, on our second day back at school?

I bit my lip to keep my tears from spilling over and held the jam jar tighter. Lily was speaking to Angelina, chattering excitedly, like our fight had never happened. I rejoined Remus, following his solemn gaze into the dark, eerie depths of the silent forest.

"They're out there." Remus said quietly, hands in his pockets.

"Who?" I asked, offering him the jam jar.

A muscle jerked in his cheek as he removed a single blue flaming orb from the jar. "A pack of werewolves. I can smell them. See that tree over there?" He pointed to a tall pine, whose canopy joined the other trees to make an impenetrable ceiling of needles. On the base of the tree was an X-shaped mark clawed into the bark.

I stared at the mark, hands growing cold with fear. "How do you know?"

"Scent." Remus said quietly. "And I've been told. Dad says they've been living there for a few years now. There's been a few wizards and witches registered as werewolves that have disappeared. Most of them end up in there."

Distantly, I heard a wolf call. Shivering, I clutched the jar of flames closer and turned away. Professor Kettleburn clasped his gloved hands, and the chatter and murmurs of the class died away.

"Welcome to your first year of Care of Magical Creatures." Professor Kettleburn growled, his wooden leg clunking as he moved aside to show his packs. "If you were expecting a class consisting of fluffy nifflers or unicorns, you're in the wrong department. You might want to consider sitting your city bottoms on the poufs in the Divination classroom, staring at crystal balls and getting high off of the burning incense. Ha! A few of you girls look a little scared."

Indeed, a few third years looked nervous now that Professor Kettleburn had spoken. I saw Angelina whisper something in Lily's ear.

"Hey, Moony." James said jovially as he swept in, standing beside us. He nodded to me. "Moony's girlfriend."

I whacked James on the arm with my jam jar. "Shut up."

"I hope we get to go inside the woods today." Sirius said as he bounded in, Peter in tow. He dropped his voice conspiratorially. "Hey, James, why don't we get out the Map tonight and go to the Shack? I'm sure we can sneak into Hogsmeade that way-"

"You two are ridiculous." I bemoaned, moving away so that I was on the edge of our little group.

"We will be doing a short hike through the woods today." Professor Kettleburn continued. "Anyone who wants to pass this class will obey my instruction. You will pick a buddy and stick with that buddy. You will take a pack I've made here in case you get lost. You'll have basic supplies to survive for a few days. You will stay behind me on my marked trail. If you wander off and get lost, you and your buddy need to stay where you are. Don't try to navigate your way out. I want you to record any creatures you see in the forest. Can anyone give me any examples of what kinds of things live in the Forest?"

My hand, along with Lily's, immediately shot into the air. Professor Kettleburn nodded to both of us.

"Bowtruckles." I said.

"Centaurs." Lily added.

"Unicorns." I shot back.

Lily looked outraged. "Thestrals!"

"Bugbears." I volleyed.

Professor Kettleburn watched us with mild interest as Lily double-added, "Hippogriffs and griffins."

"Werewolves." I said, and a gasp arose from the class like an unnatural wind.

"Aye," Professor Kettleburn said gravely. "Werewolves. And Acromantulas."

Now the class looked terrified. Most of them did. Sirius and James looked thrilled.

"So," James said, swaggering. "Are we supposed to catch them?"

"No," Professor Kettleburn growled. "You'd be lucky to see anything in there. No, you're just going to record what you see and draw them if you can. At the end of the class, I'll collect your notes and grade for neatness, descriptions, and the number of things you can see."

"Well," Sirius said in a low voice, already scribbling down something on his piece of parchment, "I can write down werewolf."

Remus rolled his eyes while I smacked Sirius's arm too. "Oh, grow up, Sirius."

Sirius grinned wolfishly, but didn't retract his notes.

"Buddy up!" Professor Kettleburn called. "If you need help or get lost, send up red sparks and I'll come find you and stay where you are. If I can't find you, well, open your packs and wait. Ready? Let's go."

Bewildered, the class divided into pairs and followed after Professor Kettleburn. Remus grabbed a bag from the pile. Peter looked downcast, as no one was left to be his partner.

"You stay with us, Peter," James said fondly, putting an arm around Peter's small shoulders. He looked up gratefully.

Remus conjured more flames. Most of the trepidation of the class transformed into excitement as we headed inside the woods as a pact. I noticed that Professor Kettleburn remained on a well-worn trail that didn't detour far from the fringe of the forest. We could still see clear, bright sunlight bordering the deep gloom of the woods. Lily and Angelina were pointing at different things that I couldn't see. After a moment, I caught sight of a large gray owl, sitting in a tree, glaring down at us with a single amber eye. I added the sighting to my own notes, tucking the jar under one arm.

"Do you know why Lily is upset with you?" Remus said after five minutes of silence, listening to the babble of our classmates.

I shrugged. "Because I'm with blokes like James and Sirius. We're all Marauders, aren't we? That's what James calls us."

Remus looked thoughtful. "But why would she be upset with me, too?"

I rolled my eyes. "Please. Lily's not upset with _you_. You'd know it, trust me."

Remus watched with amusement as James and Sirius Transfigured a rock into a toad and scrawl the sighting down. "Well, she's definitely curious. And I'd say she's feeling a little left out. She knows you're a part of our little circle, and she's not. You two are close. She probably just feels excluded."

"Yeah, well," I said bitterly, "she's got no right to be scolding me for running with you four. She makes excuses for Severus all the time. I've seen him with those boys. They just give me the creeps." I shuddered. "Especially Mulciber."

Remus frowned. "We'll keep an eye on them. How is your Patronus Charm coming along?"

I averted my gaze to the dark ceiling of the forest. "It's... coming." I said evasively.

James and Sirius hurried past us, causing me to stumble as James clipped me in the shoulder. I felt something tug lightly at my neck, but it was gone in a moment.

"Run!" James laughed. "It won't leave us alone!"

I turned. A small, cushion-sized animal with long front claws like a badger and a sleek, aardvark-like nose was bounding after James and Sirius. Several girls squealed. Professor Kettleburn halted, a smirk on his face, as the creature pursued James and Sirius.

"Who can name this creature?" Professor Kettleburn shouted as the animal snuffled around James and Sirius, blinking its doe-brown eyes adorably.

"A niffler." Lily answered. "It hunts shiny things, like gems or jewelry."

"And it wants that necklace that James has." Professor Kettleburn added. I noticed James dangling a pendant with a gold chain over the niffler, who was swatting for it longingly. Several girls crowded around the oblivious niffler, cooing lovingly. "He's so cute!" Rina Queen, a Ravenclaw, cried.

"That's a nice piece of jewelry you've got." Professor Kettleburn added. "Family heirloom?"

"You could say that." James hinted, grinning maliciously.

I frowned, the pendant glinting in the faint sunlight filtering in from the edge of the woods. The necklace looked vaguely familiar. The pendant in the middle was small, the size of a knut. Tiny, precious opals were encased inside. It looked oddly like…

I felt around my neck. My hands went cold when I couldn't find my own necklace. A split second later, understanding crashed like lightning over me.

James had taken my necklace.

I stormed over, dropping the jar of flames, which broke open. The niffler was still pawing fruitlessly at the necklace when I snatched it back from James, shaking from head to foot with the last possession I owned from Virginia.

"You stole my necklace!" I shouted, my face hot. Several birds called in alarm and rose out of the trees and into the air.

James looked smug. "A little Switching Spell, eh? _Peramuto_ works pretty well when you're not paying attention."

Outraged, I clenched my hands into fists, the gold chain digging into the tender flesh of my palm. "Don't _ever _take this again! Don't you ever touch it! Got it?"

Most of the class had gone silent. Lily was staring at me with a mixture of satisfaction and disappointment. James was still smiling insolently.

"It was just a joke, Harkstone. See? The niffler likes it."

Now the little creature was pawing at me, desperate for the necklace. But I wasn't going to hand it over. Not to James, or the niffler. Not to anyone.

I shoved the necklace into my robe pocket, shaking. I drew out my wand threateningly, little red and gold sparks issuing from it. Professor Kettleburn clunked over, frowning deeply.

"Wands away." He ordered sternly. "Now."

James was pointing his at me. "Go on, Harkstone. Let's see what Professor Smith's been teaching you all summer."

"I said _wands away_!" Professor Kettleburn roared. "Either that, or it's ten points from your Houses apiece for refusing to obey your teacher!"

A tense moment followed. Part of me wanted to hex that smirk right off of James Potter's face, but I knew better than to do it in front of a teacher who had already warned me twice. Furious, I stowed my wand back into the folds of my robes.

"Harkstone, Potter." Professor Kettleburn growled. "You two will be new buddies for the rest of the class. Perhaps that will teach you some patience and tolerance."

My jaw dropped open. "But sir!"

"That's my final word." Professor Kettleburn said sharply. "Any more whining from you, and it'll be forty points from your House plus detention with yours truly this Saturday night. Zip your lip and get to the back of the line with Potter."

Speechless with rage, I stomped to the back of the line, the niffler following me, but Remus conjured a small metallic ball and chucked it deep into the ferns and brambles. The niffler immediately took off after it.

"You two have fun." Sirius said devilishly. Remus rolled his eyes and jerked back his arm. "We aren't leaving them alone, alone. They'll kill each other."

"Less talking, more working!" Professor Kettleburn yelled.

Remus shut his mouth, looking forlorn.

James eased back into step with me. I was so angry that my face felt like it was on fire. My pounding heart beat was like a war drum in my ears. James slowed his pace until the rest of the class had moved far enough ahead. Then he pulled me aside off the trail into the woods.

I jumped away, wand drawn again. James had taken out his as well. The light glinted on his glasses as we circled each other.

"Go on, Harkstone." James dared me. "Make the first move. Kettleburn won't stop us. You want to duel?"

I glared at him furiously. "No. But I don't like it when people steal my things, either."

James chuckled. "Come on, just a friendly little skirmish. Cool off some steam."

I backed up, wand still held at the ready. "No."

James grinned. "Sorry, I didn't hear that. _Locomotor Wibbly!"_

I dodged as James cast the Jelly-Legs Jinx. I reacted with the speed Professor Smith had honed into me this summer. "_Levicorpus!"_

James narrowly missed behind hung upside-down from the air. He cast a charm swiftly. "_Glacius!"_

"_Expelliarmus!" _I shouted. The spells collided in midair, blue into red, and sent both of us sprawling back. We leapt to our feet again, ready.

"_Levicorpus!" _James said, just as I uttered, "_Protego!"_

But only a faint wisp of protection formed in front of me. James's spell destroyed the feeble Shield Charm and a second later I was hoisted into mid-air, my skirt threatening to fall. I pressed it back up, horrified.

"James!" I begged. "Put me down!" I watched as the necklace fell from my pocket and landed on the ground.

James laughed. "Only if you apologize."

My hair hung down past me in long blonde lengths. "Fine!" I gasped. "I'm sorry!"

James muttered the counter-curse. I landed hard on my back, the wind knocked out of me. I struggled to sit up. I snatched my necklace before James could take it again.

James tsked. "Come on, Harkstone. I expected better."

I glared at up him, trying to catch my breath. "You-fight-unfair." I panted, arms clutched around my aching waist.

James shrugged. "These Death Eaters won't fight fair, either. I know Lily doesn't approve of us, but we're not the enemies here. You know that. She doesn't get it."

"She was right about how you're a horrible toerag!" I groaned. "Why did you steal my necklace?"

"You think just because you're a girl I'm going to give you special treatment?" He snorted. "Not a chance. You really should learn how to defend yourself better, Harkstone. I'm disappointed. Come on, get up before we get left behind. "

But the rest of the class had already moved on. We were alone in the woods, surrounded just by the thick undergrowth and the gloomy shadows. I struggled to my feet as James turned away and disappeared.

"Wait!" I called out, but he was gone. I gritted my teeth against the sharp pain in my stomach from the fall. I clasped the pendant back around my neck, my last living memoir from Virginia.

Lily had been right. But so was I. The Sorting Hat's song had warned about splits and tears in the seams of Hogwarts' bonds. But James wasn't the enemy, and neither was Sirius. The enemy was a faceless man who I had never seen before, a man who was undoubtedly behind the awful attack yesterday.

Folsom's former classmate. Lord Voldemort.

I struggled to my feet and hurried after where James had gone. I tried to ignite my wand to illuminate the way. "_Lumos."_

The tip of my wand flickered feebly and went out.

Frowning, I tried again. "_Lumos!"_

A brief white spot appeared on the wand tip, and almost instantly extinguished. I stared down at my ash wand, the wand that had never failed me before, the wand that I had used to produce magic far beyond the level of skill expected at my age.

What was the matter with me? Was it the wand? Or was it… me?

I hurried after where James had gone through the undergrowth. The last thing I wanted was to be on my own, without a wand that would work for me. _And, _I thought with a thrill of dread, _maybe without magic flowing through my veins anymore_.

I tried to find the path again, but every tree looked the same. I couldn't hear the group anymore, not even a dull roar of sound. I strained my ears, listening, but the woods were silent.

I began to feel the first flares of panic. I whirled around, sure I would find the path again, or a familiar tree, but there was nothing that piqued my memory. Only tall, dark trees, and foreboding silence.

I stopped, trying to keep myself from losing my head completely. I didn't want to think it, I didn't even want to consider it… but I knew it was inescapable.

I was lost.


	36. Defense Against the Dark Arts

I gripped my ailing wand, praying that I could send red sparks. An owl hooted nearby, piercing the otherwise total silence of the deserted woods. Watery, feeble sunshine filtered down from above as I fought to contain the strong urge to panic. It was still morning, which meant I had plenty of hours to find my way out before real darkness fell. I couldn't be too far from the trail.

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. _Think. Think. _I lived in the country back home in Bellinghall. This was no different than that. Except that here, there were blood-sucking bugbears, wild hostile centaurs…

I shut my eyes tightly. "Stop." I said tightly. I prayed for my wand to work. If I didn't, I would be helpless, and would need to rely on my own limited understanding of the Forbidden Forest.

"_Vermillious." _I muttered.

A single drop of red dropped pathetically from the tip of my wand and disappeared before it even hit the ground.

I swore and tried again. This time, the wand issued two, but they both vanished within seconds of being conjured.

I stared at the wand in disbelief. Ollivander had made me try several different ones, before this one had chosen me. This wand, with a phoenix feather core, a feather from the tail of Fawkes, the phoenix that called Professor Dumbledore his master. So far, in my entire life (aside from a corporeal Patronus Charm), it had always accepted the challenge of new spells. It had never failed me or showed signs of dying.

Until now.

When I needed my wand most, it had chosen to become obsolete. Was its allegiance to another? Or was it just… rejecting me?

Why?

I turned on the spot, trying to glimpse anything that would jog my memory and help me gather my bearings. But every tree was as dark and unfamiliar as the rest.

I decided to keep trying. I held my wand in my palm. "_Point Me."_

The ash wand gave a tiny shiver. It was supposed to rotate and point north, but it didn't move after the initial flicker of life.

I gave up. Swallowing the rising urge to panic, I stowed my wand in my robes and carefully backtracked, but there was an abrupt flurry of activity. A flock of blackbirds erupted from a nearby tree and took off into the sky, giving loud cries of alarm. I turned back, just in time to catch the eerie reflective glow of a pair of yellow eyes staring at me from the shadows.

I froze. The eyes watching me blinked.

_Folsom. _I thought in horror.

Holding my breath, I took a slow step backwards. And another.

The eyes moved closer.

Panic now threatened to overwhelm me. My wand was all but useless in my pocket. How could James have left me unprotected and vulnerable? How could he have-

Just then, the animal that they eyes belonged to sprang forward. It was huge, shaggy, black, and coming straight for me.

It was a wolf.

I reacted by pure instinct. I knew if I ran, it would consider me prey. I shut my eyes and held my ground. I opened my mouth and let out a piercing scream, desperate for anyone close by to hear me.

Silence met my outburst. My muscles ached from anticipation. No pain was coming. Nothing. I opened my eyes a sliver to see what was going on.

The black wolf had stopped in its tracks. It was on all fours, staring up at me with those enormous yellow eyes. It raised its hackles, growling.

I growled back.

The wolf's ears pricked forward. I stood still, pretending I was a statue. I took a cautious step back, but froze when the wolf let out a snarl.

A tense minute followed. Then, the wolf moved forward. Before I could whip out my wand and pray for a spell to work, the wolf dropped its hackles.

And wagged its tail.

Dumbfounded, I stared as the wolf nosed my cold hand with its even colder nose. It sat down on its haunches in a very non-canine like manner and gazed up at me, nonplussed.

I watched the animal for a long moment. I knew I wasn't supposed to look into its eyes, but I couldn't help it. He seemed too intelligent… too _human_.

The dog let out a woof.

I squeaked in fright. The dog got up and paced, before rearing up on its hind legs. I stumbled back, tripping over on a fallen branch, and landing hard on my bottom. A second later, the wolf was gone. In its place... was Sirius Black.

I gaped soundlessly at him. He looked very pleased with himself. He dusted off his robes. "Looks like I scared you, Harkstone."

"How… did… how did you…?" I blustered.

Sirius laughed, barklike. "You weren't the only one with summer homework, you know. Professor Smith made us learn all about Animaguses. Last year, James and I talked about becoming them. We decided to keep trying this summer... you know, behind her back. I got the hang of it about a week ago."

"But you're so… so…" I floundered.

Sirius puffed out his chest. "So what? Handsome? Fearsome?"

"...black." I finished lamely.

Sirius frowned. "Well, I guess that works, too. Come on. You're all peaky."

I struggled to my feet. Sirius watched me curiously. "Why didn't you draw your wand?"

I said nothing. I glanced at him again, shaking my head.

"Look," Sirius said, "I'm sorry I scared you. But James came back without you and said you'd be along. But you didn't show. I thought Remus was going to kill him. So I decided to track you down. You're not hard to smell, especially when you're scared." He wrinkled his nose. "And lay off the perfume."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for that piece of advice. I'll definitely take beauty tips from a boy who's clearly never heard of a comb or mirror."

Sirius shrugged. "The ladies like a rugged looking man."

I rolled my eyes again. "Honestly!"

Sirius grinned. "Come on, you've gotta admit… my animal form is pretty cool. I thought I'd be a bear or something… but James said it was obvious I'd be a dog."

"Are you sure it wasn't a wolf?" I asked dubiously.

Sirius nodded. "Oh, yeah. We checked it out in the library."

My jaw dropped. "You actually went to the _library? _I'm somewhat impressed. I didn't know either of you could read."

"Very funny." Sirius said darkly. "Come on. Remus's gonna have a baby if we don't hurry."

We wandered through the thick undergrowth. I hadn't realized how far off the track I'd wandered until Sirius led me back. I whistled softly.

"Yeah," Sirius said, understanding, "you were lost, mate. Come on."

It took us another five minutes, but we caught up with the rest of the class, who were about to exit the forest, lead by Professor Kettleburn. Clearly, no one else had noticed my absence.

Remus looked immensely relieved at the sight of Sirius and I. "Are you alright?" He fussed. "Look, you're bleeding again. You've opened your old wound."

"Oh, shut up, Moony." James chortled. "She'll be fine. She's tough as rocks. Right, Hark_stone?"_

Peter and James snickered while I glared at him. Remus pressed his sleeve gently to staunch the flow of blood on my forehead, where the cut had indeed reopened.

"I'm fine, Remus," I insisted, pulling away. "I'll go see Madam Pomfrey after class. She probably knows a really easy spell to fix this."

"Alright." Remus said quietly, but looked put-out. He didn't leave my side for the rest of class as we navigated our way out of the woods.

"I'll be collecting your notes now!" Professor Kettleburn barked as we left the cool shade of the forest and emerged under the bright, warm sunlight. I squinted in the change of light. Remus passed his notes over to Kettleburn, who grunted in approval and fixed me with a disapproving look before shuffling over to James and Sirius.

"I had no idea Sirius had already become an Animagus," I confessed to Remus as we left the edge of the woods and started the hike back to the castle. "Did you know?"

Remus smiled. "He made me promise not to tell you. He and James said they'd find a way to _show _you."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for that. He left me out in the woods without a working wand-"

"He did _what?_" Remus interrupted sharply. "He left out without a working wand? What did he do to it?"

Nonplussed, I drew out my wand. Remus frowned. "It's not broken. Did he hex it?"

"No." I stared down at my wand, still in disbelief at how much it failed to work for me anymore. "It's like it's sick or something. Like it's... dying."

"That's not good, Amber." Remus said seriously. "That's not good at all. You haven't encountered any Dark Magic lately?"

I shook my head.

Remus sighed. "Then it might be something internal. Something to do with you. Maybe…" He trailed off.

"Maybe what?" I pressed.

Remus looked uncomfortable. "Maybe the wand is rejecting you."

I stared at him, crestfallen. "You really think that?" I said in a small voice, my worst fears confirmed.

Remus handed my wand back gently. "I think," he said, "you need to see Professor Smith immediately."

I watched James and Sirius jostling each other, racing up the hill, Peter hurrying after them, clearly out breath. James cast a jinx on Sirius, who was suddenly pulled up into the air, hanging upside, roaring with laughter as James and Peter sped past him.

"I guess that's becoming popular." I said darkly. "That jinx."

"We'll see." Remus said. "Come on. Let's get that head of yours looked at before next class."

"Good idea." I said, watching James yell out the countercurse and charge, laughing, after Sirius and Peter. I didn't even notice Lily, watching me and Remus, with a look of revulsion and sorrow on her face. All I could think of how it was my wand, not me, who needed help.

* * *

The first days of classes went quickly. Most of the time, it consisted of just the usual introductions of expectations and milestones. Professor McGonagall was especially cross with James and Sirius when she reminded us that magic was to be used at Hogwarts for academic purposes only. The last class of the day was Defense Against the Dark Arts, the one I had been looking forward to all day.

The room which had served as Folsom's classroom a year prior was redecorated. Instead of the windows being covered, they were open to allow the sinking sun to cast its warm rays inside. Mirrors reflected the light to give an illusion of a larger room. Portraits of various Dark creatures were featured around the room. A chart of human anatomy hung on the back of the door. At the front of the room, in a large owl cage, cast in shadows, was a black bat, hanging upside by its toes. As I entered the room and took my seat the front of the class, the bat peered at me from inside the folds of its wings. Its tiny, almond-shaped eyes were blood-red. It let out a low hiss and wrapped its wings snugly around itself again.

The class filled up quickly. Remus sat quietly beside me, staring at the bat in the cage. James and Sirius blundered in right behind him, Peter in tow.

"Do they have to sit with us?" I complained.

"I'll ask them to leave if they bother you that much." Remus said.

"Harkstone!" James moaned. "Why'd you pick the _front _row? The back row's the best! The teachers hardly notice anything there."

"Then _you _go sit back there." I responded coldly. "Don't worry, you won't be missed."

"Harsh." Sirius sniggered.

James lifted a shoulder. "Alright. Coming, Moony?"

"Don't think so." Remus responded. "Someone needs to protect her jewellery."

James let out a snort. "Alright, I get it. Hoes before bros."

Sirius gaped at James, knowing he had gone too far. I sprang to my feet, but not before Remus had grabbed hold of James by the collar of his shirt. His face was contorted in rage.

"Take. It. Back." He snapped.

I had my wand out, but I was unsure if anything would help. James tried to pull away from Remus, but his iron grip was firm.

"Come off it, Moony." James said lightly, but there was a note of warning in his voice. The entire class was silent, waiting to see what would happen.

"Apologize to her first." Remus growled. I noticed an ugly vein pounding in his forehead. I glanced out the window and noticed a faint, waning half-moon hanging in the sky. Remus' cycle clearly was still affecting him.

"Alright." James said coolly. "Sorry, Amber."

"Like you mean it!" Remus snarled.

"_Sorry._ Okay? Will you put me down now?"

Remus had lifted James off his feet. He had grown several inches this summer, while James clearly hadn't. Remus slowly lowered him back to the floor.

"What's going on here?" A familiar voice inquired.

The whole class turned to look at Professor Smith. She was descending the stairs leading to her office, a puzzled look on her scarred face. Her gaze found mine, and then drifted over the boys. She frowned deeply.

"Just settling some business, no matter." James said quickly.

"I'd expect better behavior from third years." Professor Smith said, disappointed. "Take your seats."

There was the sound of many chairs scuffling across the floor as students obeyed. I watched Sirius, James, and Peter move to the back of the room. Lily and Angelina were sitting at the other set of desks in the front row.

"You need to calm down." I whispered to Remus, who still had his fists clenched. I could have sworn I saw his eyes were golden, not their usual green.

Remus took a huge inhale through his nose and out through his mouth. He closed his eyes briefly, and when they opened again, they were definitely green. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"Don't worry about it." I said easily, but I privately wondered how close Remus had come to really losing control. How far could a werewolf go, when he was still human?

"Welcome back to Hogwarts." Professor Smith said, standing in front of a blank chalkboard. "In your third year of Defense Against the Dark Arts, you'll be learning how to defend yourselves from Dark creatures, Dark arts, and other dark charms. If you listen and participate in my class, as well as take notes and complete your homework, you will have no trouble obtaining a good grade for yourself and your House."

A hand was raised. It belonged to James Potter.

"Yes?" Professor Smith said.

Sirius was already laughing. James grinned and asked, "is it true, Professor, that you played for the Holyhead Harpies?"

There was a buzz of excitement in the class. Professor Smith's frown deepened.

"I'll remind students that I will only be answering _relevant _questions in my class." She said coldly. "Any other questions can be asked privately after class."

"Ouch." I said smugly as James dropped his hand.

"Now." Professor Smith said bracingly. "Who can tell me about some Dark creatures we will be learning about this year?"

My hand, as well as Lily's, shot into the air. Professor Smith raised her brows, inviting us to speak.

"In our curriculum," Lily said, jumping into speech, "you told us to study boggarts, grindylows, hinkypunks, kappas, red caps, salamanders, and…" she slid a quick look at Remus, "werewolves."

"Excellent." Professor Smith said. "Ten points for Gryffindor."

Lily swelled with pride.

I raised my hand. "Excuse me, but she forgot a big one."

I didn't look in her direction, but I felt the accusatory stare Lily threw me. Professor Smith nodded. "Go on."

I took a deep breath, thinking of Folsom. "Vampires?"

Professor Smith nodded. "Yes, we will also be covering the subject of vampires. In addition to learning about Dark creatures, we will be learning several defensive spells to combat these creatures and Dark wizards. _Riddikulus _is the only known way to rid a boggart. The Freezing Spell, Seize and Pull Charm, Lumos Duos Spell, and Orbis Jinx will be required for you to master this year… and why aren't you all writing this down?"

With the exception of me, Remus, and Lily, no other student was taking notes. There was a flurry of activity as the others raced to copy down her words, which were appearing on the blackboard in neat white calligraphy, even though the piece of chalk was moving on its own.

Professor Smith waited until everyone was done. Then she cleared her throat. "Today, we will be touching on the basics of vampires."

I stared at Professor Smith, who didn't look back. I could feel my heart beginning to race. She was going to teach about vampires, and I knew why. There was a particular one who was very interested in seeking revenge, and who happened to be Lord Voldemort's lieutenant.

"Can anyone tell me the characteristics of a vampire?" Professor Smith, just as Lily's hand and mine shot into the air again. This time, Professor Smith started with me.

"Well," I said, feeling heat rise to my face as the whole class pinpointed their attention on me. "They live off of blood. Mammalian. They have fangs that they can conceal to hide their identities. They have an aversion to sunlight, garlic, and crosses. They don't have reflections."

"They also can transform into bats." Lily burst.

"Very good." Professor Smith intoned. "Take two points for Gryffindor and ten points for Ravenclaw."

"Yes." I hissed under my breath, low enough so that no one could hear it, but Remus grinned, and I knew he had heard. I blushed deeper.

"Vampires are known to exist worldwide," Professor Smith added. "But some are more powerful than others. Your best chance of defense against a vampire will be to deter it before they even consider you prey. Don't travel alone at night, and be sure to carry your wand with you after sundown. The spell _Lumos Solem _will generate a beam of light that is equivalent in ultraviolet radiation to a beam of sunlight."

There was the frantic scrabbling of notes being written down. Lily raised her hand again.

"Professor, how can we identify vampires from normal people?"

"They're usually gaunt, from nearly constant hunger." Professor Smith replied. "They don't like sunlight. And they will quite often stare at necks. Who knows… maybe we have a vampire with us right now."

Several students looked around in alarm, but Professor Smith chuckled and waved a hand.

"No need to worry… None of _you _are vampires. But there _is _one in this room."

Confused, many students looked around, mostly up at the buttresses in the rafters. But Remus was staring fixedly at the cage that housed the black bat. I followed his gaze. I gave a startled flinch.

"No way…" I breathed. The bat peered at me again, narrowing his small red eyes. "That can't be…"

"Is that it in there?" Angelina said, her voice much higher-pitched than normal.

"Yes." Professor Smith said. Several girls screamed or jumped out of their chairs in fright.

"Silence!" Professor Smith said sharply, as the bat ruffled its wings, irritated. "I've put an Unbreakable Charm on the cage. The vampire can't transform and break free. You aren't in any danger right now. The reason why I've caught this vampire today is to help you understand how easy it is to be oblivious to Dark creatures around you every day. This particular vampire was in his bat form, hanging from the rafters of Professor Kettleburn's storage shed. I captured him very early this morning, just after dawn, to present to the class."

The girls who had vacated their seats returned to them now, warily. I noticed that no one was laughing now, not even James and Sirius.

Professor Smith held up the cage deftly. The bat jostled slightly, but didn't unwrap its leathery wings.

"Does anyone notice anything unusual about this bat, compared to normal bats?" She asked calmly, walking down the aisles with the cage. Several students shied away from her when she came near. "There's a page of normal bats vs a vampire bat on page 102…"

The sound of flipping pages filled the air. Lily and I almost cut each other off in our haste to answer her.

"A vampiric bat has a distinctive squashed face and triangular ears." Lily recited.

"They also have two close-together incisors, and two much larger canines. They use those to bite into their prey."

"Very good." Professor Smith said. "Five points for Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. These bats can walk on their thumbs and hop like a rabbit. Unlike normal vampire bats, _real _vampires in their bat forms will always go for the neck. They are also much larger than typical vampire bats. Those are usual the size of a tennis ball. However," she rattled the cage slightly, so that the bat opened his wings to flutter them in annoyance, "true vampires in bat form are the usually the size of a small dog, like a Pekingese or a Maltese."

The class was staring at the caged vampire, who let out an ominous hiss, exposing its very sharp fangs.

"Professor," Angelina asked timidly. "Why are we starting with vampires? I thought we would start with basics…"

"Normally, Miss Azadian, that is what I would do." Professor Smith said grimly. "But this year, I feel it is important to prepare my students adequately for what lies outside the classroom in the real world. Anyone can face a flobberworm or a gnome."

"But Professor," Peter piped up from the back of the room. "Do you really think there's danger out there?"

She paused, and then nodded once. "Yes, I know there is."

I raised my hand into the air. I didn't look at Remus or Lily, because I didn't want to see what they would think of me after I asked the question.

"Professor," I said, "could you tell us what the Death Eaters are? And do you know if they attacked Platform 9 3/4 ?"

The silence that followed my question pressed in upon my ears. Someone a few rows back dropped a quill, which clattered loudly in the quiet.

Professor Smith pursued her lips. I could tell she was disappointed in me. I felt heat climb into my cheeks. _I should have waited to ask her after class_. I thought, kicking myself inwardly.

"The Ministry does not wish for me to tell you this." Professor Smith said slowly. She rested the cage on the heavy wooden desk at the front of the room. "Dumbledore was going to make an announcement about this later, once everyone had settled back into the routine of school. But I feel that it would be unfair to withhold this information from you if you were personally involved."

Mutters filled the classroom. Professor Smith raised a hand. Instantly, the sounds dropped off.

"Roughly thirty years ago, there was a charming young student here named Tom Riddle. He was brilliant, cultured, admired, and very good at hiding who he really was. You may know him by his other name… Lord Voldemort."

There was a collective gasp from most the room. Remus let out a slow exhale.

"Some of his most loyal followers began calling themselves 'Death Eaters'. One of them was your teacher last year."

An explosion of noise followed this. The babble of confused and horrified students chased away any chance of peace. I glanced at Lily, who looked back at me very briefly.

She looked disappointed, too.

"You mean Professor Folsom was a _Death Eater?" _shouted Edmund Pepper, a third-year Gryffindor.

"Why would Dumbledore let him teach?" called a third-year Ravenclaw, Zoey MacDonald.

Professor Smith held up her hand for silence, but none came. She pointed her wand at the class and said, "_Silencio_."

The noise was shut off. Students tried to speak, but no words came.

"I know this is shocking and troubling information," Professor Smith acknowledged, "but Dumbledore agrees that it is best for you to hear it from your teachers, rather than other sources. We have reason to believe that the Death Eaters were indeed responsible for the attack."

I shot an alarmed look at Remus. Only yesterday, we had discussed this very topic. I threw a look back to James and Sirius, who shared the same awed look.

We had been right.

"The best thing we can do is continue our studies as normal," Professor Smith went on, "and teach you to defend yourselves as best as we can."

There were further mutterings of dissent at this, but no one argued with her. The vampire hissed and flapped its wings, still hanging upside-down from its perch. I stared at it, lost in thought.

Folsom was a vampire. I had suspected it long before it was confirmed. And his cohort, his boss, his… whatever… was this Lord Voldemort.

"What's so bad about Voldemort?" I asked loudly, before Professor Smith could redirect the class. This time I could feel Remus staring down at me, his gaze boring into the side of my head like lasers.

Professor Smith held up her hand. "Miss Harkstone, we can discuss that more after class." There was a note of cool finality that made it clear the subject was now closed. "Now, onto normal vampires… can anyone tell me how to fend one off?"

Lily's hand shot into air, but I kept mine down. I watched the innocuous-looking bat with a look of mistrust and disgust.

How often had Folsom changed into this alternate form? Did that make him an Animagus? Or just simply one of the living dead?

I didn't participate for the rest of class, other than write down notes that Professor Smith wrote across the board. Rather, her piece of white chalk did, moving by itself without needing her to touch it. After several lengths of parchment were filled in with black calligraphy and an hour passed, Professor Smith released the class. "I would like you to write me a roll of parchment on vampires, due a week from today. Also, start to ponder your greatest fears and how to combat them. You may go," she said dismissively, waving at us with one hand and placing the bat cage back on her table with the other.

The sound of students stuffing their quills, books, and parchment back into their bags filled the air as I rose and copied them, albeit much more slowly. I waited until everyone else had left, save for Remus, who stayed by my side.

"You ready?" He asked, lifting a brow in question.

I glanced at a gaggle of boys lingering near the doorway. Sirius, Peter, and James were all talking together, waiting.

I looked back at Professor Smith, who was erasing the board with a levitating cloth. "I'll catch up with you later, Remus. I need to talk to her."

He gave me a measured look. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but decided against it. "Alright," Remus grunted. "I'll see you later."

He rejoined the boys and they left.

Professor Smith turned back to face me, arms folded. "You had a question?"

Now that we were alone, it felt just like summer classes. I could feel myself relaxing back into the routine. "Yes. About this Lord Voldemort."

A shadow passed across her face. "Is there anything academically relevant you have questions about?"

I blinked. "I'm sorry?" Professor Smith had never deliberately dodged a question before.

As if reading my thoughts, Professor Smith let out a deep sigh. "I don't think you're old enough to concern yourself with adult matters, Amber. Isn't it bad enough that you've got to worry about Mackenzie Folsom?"

I knew by the way she wouldn't meet my gaze that she was hiding something. I folded my own arms. "In my first year, I read an article about Voldemort. It was written by a man named Vincent Backe. My mother knew him."

Professor Smith took a few steps and stood near the cage holding the bat. "Vincent is also Folsom's true first name. In school, he was constantly teased… students would call him terrible names. Several wizards have been named Vincent. Most famous, perhaps, is Vincent the Idiot. He could never escape the taunts or cruel joke. That is, until he met Tom Riddle, who also believed in different names than the ones our parents give us."

The bat sniffed hopefully at her, but jerked back suddenly as if repelled by some invisible force.

"So, his real name is Vincent Folsom?" I reiterated.

Professor Smith nodded. "Yes. He chose Mackenzie, because in Gaelic, it means 'born of fire'. He certainly wanted power. And I believe he got it."

"But Voldemort," I said, bringing the spotlight back to him, "What's he got to do with all of this?"

Professor Smith gazed out the window. The light outlined her harsh scar, cutting across her face in a severe line. A few strands of silver hair glinted. When she looked back at me, I was shocked to see how _tired _she looked.

"You're on a need-to-know basis," she said in a brittle voice, "just like every other student. Please don't expect special treatment from me just because you were my pupil this summer."

I stared at her, feeling as if she'd just slapped me. "Wh-what?" I stammered, sure I'd heard her wrong.

Professor Smith turned away, but not before I saw a muscle jerk in her cheek. "Voldemort and his followers, the Death Eaters, aren't a group I want to celebrate or give more attention to than they deserve. Each of them deserves a life term sentence behind the walls of Azkaban. Vincent Backe believed they had an agenda and was hoping to cast some light on them. Speed up the system of justice."

"He's been missing since last year." I added tentatively. "My mum said she went to school with him. He wrote an article about Voldemort."

Professor Smith half-turned her head. "Voldemort seems to be nothing more than an extremist fueled by hatred and darkness. It's my job to teach you and many others how to defend yourselves from that kind of evil. I'd appreciate it if you'd leave the subject alone."

She started towards the stone steps that led into her office. I held my tongue, more questions raised in my mind. Just before she entered her office, I blurted out, "Did you know Tom Riddle personally too, like Folsom?"

She paused. Without turning around she said, "Enough. You ask too many questions, even for a Ravenclaw."

She closed the door firmly behind her, leaving me alone with the bat. It hissed at me again.

I stood, rooted to the spot. _Too many questions… even for a Ravenclaw…_

Had I pushed too far? Just like I tended to with Mum?

I picked up my bag of books robotically, trying to think of anything but what we had just said. It hurt too much to think that I drove people I looked up to and admired away. How come I didn't know when to just leave it? Was it curiosity, or something more? Something malevolent like what Folsom and Voldemort possessed?

The bat let out a shriek of anger and frustration as it beat its wings against its cage fruitlessly, making a racket. Peeves zoomed in, cackling.

"Oh, looky!" He said shrilly. "Rocky's got another vampire on her tail! Better watch out or he'll bite you! Can't bother me, I'm already dead!"

He did a somersault in mid-air and looked at me gleefully with his face between his legs.

I rolled my eyes and pointed my wand at the bat. "_Silencio!_"

The bat hissed loudly, banging so hard it sounded like the cage door would burst open.

"Oopsie!" Peeves cackled. "Looks like brainy Rocky's a Squib!"

"Shut _up_!" I raged, horrified and frustrated with my wand's refusal to obey. I stuffed it in my pocket and marched out of the room, Peeves' mad laughter echoing down the hall.

It wasn't until I was almost at the entrance to the Great Hall that I remembered Lily's caution to speak to Professor Smith about my failing wand, which I hadn't done. Instead, I'd spurned that idea and had chosen to ask about a man I hardly knew, a man that was shrouded in mystery and darkness.

I sat next to Angelina at dinner, and was quickly joined by Remus. He helped himself to a plate of roast beef and mashed potatoes. "How did it go with Professor Smith?" He asked casually as Angelina giggled furiously.

I eyed her. "What's your issue?"

Angelina looked at Remus and then averted her gaze, twirling a lock of her raven hair. "Nothing." She said innocently, clearly lying.

I rolled my eyes and swallowed a bite of bread, along with my rising disdain. "It went worse than I thought. I talked to her about Voldemort."

Remus lifted a brow. "Why is he so interesting to you? My dad says he's just a maniac with radical ideas that won't come to fruition, not with the Ministry the way it is."

"I don't know." I answered honestly, turning my back on Angelina, who was whispering to Zoey MacDonald and beside herself with giggles. "Maybe because he and Folsom were pals when they went here."

I looked over at the Slytherin table to where Regulus sat next to Avery, Nott, and Mulciber. I was disappointed to see that Severus was also seated very close to them. All five seemed to be in deep talk.

"I just… have a weird feeling." I went on. "I mean, do you really think it was any coincidence that she chose to talk about vampires on the first day back?"

"You've got a point." Remus agreed. "I think she was referring to Folsom a bit. But I still don't understand why you think Voldemort is involved."

I added a scoopful of roasted vegetables to my plate. "I think he's the kingpin. The one running the show behind the scenes. I know Folsom had some influence on people, like the Slytherin gang over there, but I think that Folsom has allegiance to Voldemort as his leader."

I frowned at the amused look on Remus' face. "What?" I said, half-annoyed. "What's so funny?"

Remus shook his head good-naturedly. "You."

I playfully punched his arm. "Well, I'm trying to be serious, mind you."

Remus sipped his pumpkin juice thoughtfully. "I know. And I think you've got the brains to back up your views. But let's just slow down. I think the Ministry can take care of this Death Eater business before it gets out of hand."

I opened my mouth to argue, that only yesterday, these same people had likely been the ones to attack Platform 9 3/4 . But after the memory of my doomed conversation with Professor Smith, I chose to fill my open mouth with a forkful of vegetables and stuff my words back inside.

"So, you didn't talk to her about the wand?" Remus asked after a moment. "And its issues?"

I could feel the ash wand, stowed away in my robes. I didn't want to think about it, or what it could mean. Both Remus and Lily had good theories, but neither one made me feel very good. One meant that I was having a loyalty breach with my wand. The other meant something more.

I tried to stuff away the possibility that it may not be the wand who was the problem… but me.

"So, Remus," Angelina said, her voice strangely high-pitched. "I heard you play Quidditch."

"I don't, as a matter of fact," Remus said calmly, sipping his drink again.

"I do." I said. "I'm going to try out for the Ravenclaw team."

Remus spat out his pumpkin juice, spraying a fourth-year Ravenclaw boy in the face. Remus turned red and tossed several napkins at the boy, who glared at Remus before leaving the table.

"You're _what_?" Remus said increduously. "You hate flying. Remember last time?"

"I remember." Angelina said loftily. "You crashed and burned. Didn't Sean Locke bring you to Madame Pomfrey?"

"I stopped you from falling to your death." Remus snapped. "No, you shouldn't. It's a stupid idea."

"Do you like swimming?" Angelina asked Remus hopefully, but he was ignoring her. He was staring down at me, his green eyes electrified with anger.

I shrugged. "I want to try out. And I actually do like flying. Professor Smith taught me this summer after we went to see a colony of dragons."

"You went to see _what?" _Remus gaped.

I brushed back my hair. "And then she kind of… dared me to jump off a cliff with her and fly."

Remus set down his drink hard. "That _woman_… what was she thinking? That's the kind of teacher we can expect?"

"Honestly, I think you're overreacting Remus." I said patiently. "Well, I think I'll go polish my Silver Arrow. I should practice tomorrow before classes."

"No… you can't just… you could… Amber!" Remus blustered as I rose from the table.

"Good night, Remus." I said over my shoulder. He looked ready to rise and chase after me, but Angelina said loudly, "So, Remus, do you want to come down to the lake with me?"

That stopped me in my tracks. I glanced over, making brief eye contact with Remus.

Just then, Sean Locke slid in front of me. He was taller than Remus and wider, built like a powerful tree. A golden Head Boy badge glinted on his lapel.

"I couldn't help overhearing," Sean said evenly, but his grin gave him away, "that you want to try out for Quidditch."

I frowned, sizing him up. I folded my arms. "That's right."

Sean grinned, showing his teeth. "Alright, then. Let's go get you ready. If I can't beat Potter and Black, I'll bet you'll give them a run for your money."

Remus looked furious. Smirking, I nodded to Sean. "Let's do it."

Sean clapped once. "Excellent. Give me five minutes and I'll meet you outside on the Quidditch Pitch."

I nodded in acknowledgement and edged past him. I didn't look back to hear or see if Remus had agreed to go to the lake with Angelina or not. The only thing on my mind was proving him and Lily wrong.

_If I'm not a witch_, I thought, _then I can't fly on a broom. Or play Quidditch._

James and Sirius were pointing at me and laughing. I winked back.

"Just wait until tryouts, boys," I said under my breath. "And we'll see who's laughing then."


	37. Flight Risk

The air was chilly as I walked down to the Quidditch Pitch. The sun was hanging lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the rich green grass. Sean was waiting for me in the center of the stadium, wearing a cable-knit golden-brown sweater and holding a strapped trunk. He waved enthusiastically when he saw me.

"Oh, good." Sean said approvingly as I made my way to him. "You've brought your wand. But where's your broom?"

I blushed. "Sorry, I forgot." I waved my ash wand. "_Accio Silver Arrow!_"

There was a long, broom-less pause, in which I felt even more heat rise into my cheeks. I glared at my wand. "Sorry. It's been acting up lately. It's like it doesn't want to listen to me anymore."

Sean raised his brows. "Well, that _is _an advanced spell… you're not supposed to learn that until your fourth-" he broke off, pointing to the stands were the Hufflepuffs normally stood. "...year."

The Silver Arrow was zooming over the rise, glinting in the late afternoon sun. To my astonishment, it halted beside me, quivering slightly. I looked back at my wand. Apparently, it could choose if it wanted to obey me or not.

"That was… odd." I said, frowning as I stowed my wand.

Sean shrugged, nonplussed. "That's a nice broomstick you've got there. I've got a Cleansweep Six. Bought it my second year when I made the Quidditch Team at Quality Quidditch Supplies in London. You've been there?"

"That's where I got mine." I admitted. "And the clerk tried to sell me a Cleansweep Six. But this one was the one for me." I patted the handle of the silver broomstick fondly.

Sean looked pleased. "Excellent. Well, let's start with the basics. Have you ever played Quidditch before?"

I glanced away at a patch of particularly scuffed-up grass. "Well… no. Not really."

Sean clasped his hands. "No matter. You've got Quidditch in your blood, I can tell, Miss _Harkstone_." He winked as he emphasized my last name.

I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

Sean grinned. "So modest. Alright, so, let's move on." Before I could open my mouth to speak, he opened the trunk and pulled out a soccer-sized maroon ball.

"This here is the quaffle." Sean told me, offering it to me. "The quaffle earns ten points for every score. It's the Chasers job to shoot them through the hoops."

He tossed it easily at me. I fumbled for a second but caught on. It was about the same weight as a volleyball. The smooth leather felt nice against my finger pads.

"This nasty thing is a bludger. It's the beater's jobs to hit them." Sean went on, brandishing his arm out to block me. "You might want to stand back."

I took a hesitant step back. Sure enough, the moment Sean released the struggling black ball, it shot straight into the air like a cannon. I gaped as it zoomed around lethally, making little noises of enragement, looking for a target. It made a sharp turn and shot like a bullet straight for us.

WHAM! Sean whacked the bludger with a thick black bat. The bludger was sent careening away to the far end of the pitch, where three tall spoon-like hoops stood fifty feet off the ground. The bludger sailed through the middle one.

I grinned. "That was awesome."

Sean flexed his arms. "It's fun to hit them. But it's a nasty lot of trouble if _they_ hit _you_." He rummaged through the trunk once more and pulled out a golf-ball sized sphere, glittering gold in the sunlight and struggling against his closed fingers. Tiny wings beat furiously, like a trapped hummingbird.

"This is what earns the most points, and ends the game." Sean explained. "This is a Snitch."

"Very cool." I murmured.

"The Seeker's job is to find this little piece of work and then catch it first." Sean said, releasing the little golden orb. It hovered above us, fluttering its golden wings. "It wins 150 points and ends the game."

I watched the Snitch zoom after the Bludger. I squinted into the beams of late sunlight. "James Potter plays Seeker for Gryffindor. He catches that thing."

Sean raised a brow. "You're another fan of his?"

I made a retching noise. "James Potter? Are you kidding me? I'm surprised he can fly at all with that fat head of his."

Sean smirked. "I'm glad we feel the same way."

He gestured to his broom and mine. "Feel like trying a practice run?"

This is what I had been waiting for. My heart sprinted inside of my chest, slicking my palms with sweat. I grinned in spite of my physical reaction. "Absolutely."

Sean nodded and mounted his broom. "It's really a shame you were Sorted into Ravenclaw and not Hufflepuff, like your folks."

I had half-raised a leg to climb aboard my waiting Silver Arrow. "What?" I said slowly, unable to look at him. A strange feeling of angry heat had risen inside of me at his words.

Sean rose into the air. "Your mum and dad. They were Hufflepuffs."

I finished climbing onto my Silver Arrow. Slowly, I rose up to meet him in the air, hovering ten feet above the solid ground. I willed myself not to look down.

"Yeah, so what?" I said bitterly. "I'm a Ravenclaw. I'm the black sheep of the family. '_Everyone's been in Hufflepuff, you're such a disappointment_!'" I mimicked my mother's voice. "Trust me, I've been reminded often enough that I'm not a Hufflepuff. I'm the first Harkstone ever not to be Sorted in Hufflepuff. I get it."

Sean blinked. "Blimey, I didn't know. I'm sorry. Ravenclaw's still a great House. All of the smart people go there. Your parents should be proud of you anyway."

I rolled my eyes. "There's more to Ravenclaw than being smart. It's also about wisdom, creativity, originality, and acceptance."

Sean shrugged good-naturedly. "Very well. As long as you're not a Slytherin. I'm not a fan of Lucius Malfoy or his little gang. Glad he graduated last year."

I glanced up at the slowly darkening sky. The Snitch glinted high above me. "Should we practice?"

Sean cleared his throat. "Sure. Try passing the Quaffle to me and catching it. Just to get a feel for things."

I obliged and held onto the handle with one hand and tossed the Quaffle with the other. It sailed through the air. Sean caught it deftly with one hand.

"Good." He said, pleased. "Catch."

He underhanded an easy catch. I wobbled dangerously on my broom but didn't fall. Heart pounding, I swallowed and aimed.

"Don't throw like a girl." Sean said just before I threw. "Don't be afraid to hurt me. I can take a punch or two. Quidditch can be a rough game."

I studied his face intently and then recalculated how hard I would throw my pass. I strained my muscles and flung the Quaffle as hard as I could, nearly sending me off my broom.

It flew almost twice as far as my first throw. Sean shot off to catch it. He looked very pleased.

"You've got a cannon arm!" He said jubilantly. "It's rare for girls to have them. You must be like your dad."

I lifted a brow, rising higher in the air without really noticing how much space I was putting between myself and the earth. "Why do you keep mentioning him?"

Sean looked surprised. "Don't you know? You're just joking with me… You seriously don't know, do you?"  
I circled him lazily, watching for the Snitch and the deadly Bludger. "Do you know him somehow? Or something that I don't?"

Sean bounced the Quaffle once in his hand and passed it back to me. I missed it. Sean dived and caught it just before it hit the ground. The Bludger whizzed manically around and around the pitch, seemingly oblivious to the fact that we were there.

"Your dad was one of the best Chasers Hufflepuff ever had. One of the best Hogwarts ever had." Sean said. "Didn't you know that?"

I stared at Sean. I caught his pass and threw it back, missing him by several feet. "No… he never…"

I thought back to my childhood. I had always remembered Dad working long hours at the Ministry. He had his hobby farm at the house that he and Mum used to teach my sisters and I about agriculture and crops. But he had never taught me to play Quidditch. Granted, he would come home sometimes when I was younger, smelling of smoke and alcohol and telling Mum excitedly about the latest Quidditch match he'd seen in London. But he had never mentioned playing at school.

"That's so odd." Sean said. "He's in the Trophy Room. One of the best athletes Hufflepuff ever produced, he was. My aunt Willow said he could have played for England if he hadn't gone to work for the Ministry instead."

I shook my head. "I wonder why he never told me. Professor Smith is your aunt, you mean, right?"

Part of me wondered if Sean was just making this up to impress me or play. But he didn't seem the mischievous type like Sirius or James.

"Yeah, her first name is Willow. Well, let's keep practicing." Sean said bracingly. "Come on. Let's go over to the hoops and see how good you are at scoring."

An hour later, the sun had set and I had scored my first four goals in our mock-game. We had circled the pitch several times, and I found myself forgetting how high off the ground I was and instead relishing the feel of the wind rushing through my hair and over my face. I was addicted to that sense of triumph whenever I caught the Quaffle or sent it sailing through a hoop.

"Alright, that's enough for today." Sean said, nearly colliding with the wandering bludger. "I can hardly see in front of me."

We descended. Sean dismounted as if he'd been doing it all his life, while I skidded ungracefully and almost bounced off.

"That was great." I said, grinning in spite of my windburned face and the fact that my fingers and toes were now completely numb. "I can't believe I've waited this long to try."

Sean was putting away the Quaffle. "You've got a lot of promise, Harkstone, but this was a lot different than playing with a full team or against another. And it's different when there's a whole school watching you and keeping score."

"I know." I said, scratching the back of my head. My hair felt cold and higher, windswept. "When are tryouts?"

"Usually the first week of October." Sean replied, waving his wand without speaking. A moment later the Snitch fluttered over and allowed him to place it back inside of the trunk. A moment later the Bludger shot towards him, but he waved his wand once more and the Bludger froze in midair.

"Nonverbal magic." Sean explained as he strapped the immobile ball in the trunk and shut the lid. "You'll learn more of that in your sixth and seventh years."

"Looking forward to it." I said honestly as I followed him back towards the castle. The grounds were dark and covered in deep shadows. A handful of stars glittered in the indigo sky.

"So," Sean said casually, "you seem pretty close with those Gryffindor boys."

"I hope you're not talking about James and Sirius." I said acidly. "Don't be fooled. We might seem like it, but we aren't exactly fans of each other."

"Well, I figured that much already." Sean said easily, grinning as he held the trunk in one hand and his broom in the other. "What about that Lupin boy?"

"What about him?" I asked as we ascended the stone steps.

"Well," Sean said, "you seem awfully close with him and Lily Evans."

I thought of my redhaired friend with a pang. "We aren't really talking right now," I said baldly. "Me and Lily. We don't… we just… girl stuff." I finished lamely.

Sean waved his hand. "No matter. I was just curious. So you'd say that this Lupin doesn't have any plans to ask you to the ball this Christmas?"

I glanced at him. "I don't suppose so. I'm only thirteen."

"You act much older, though." Sean said kindly, and I felt my face flush.

"Thanks." I said, not sure what else to say.

Sean and I were inside the castle again. It was empty, except for the quiet chatter of paintings talking back and forth between each other.

"You'd better get back to Ravenclaw Tower." Sean advised. "Peeves or Filch might be on the lookout."

"What about you?" I shot back. "You could get in trouble too."

Sean grinned and pointed to his pinned-on badge. "Head Boy, remember?"

"Oh." I said, shrugging as I looked towards the four hourglasses that measured the points for each House. Gryffindor's was the lowest. _I bet they'll have James and Sirius to thank for that_. I thought.

"Well, good work, Harkstone." Sean said honestly. "I think you'll be on the Ravenclaw team no problem if you keep practicing."

"Will you help me again?" I blurted. I shuffled my feet awkwardly. "I need all the help I can get."

Sean looked as if he'd been waiting for me to ask. He bowed low. "Why, of course, my lady. Anything for you."

I laughed and waved him off, though I felt a weird squirming in my gut that wasn't unpleasant. "I'm flattered, sir. I'll… see you around, I guess."

Sean nodded. "Good night, Amber."

He hustled away down a flight of stairs that led to the dungeons. I looked around quickly to make sure no one else was there, and then hurried to the third floor along the moving staircases. The oak door to the room was always unlocked; I pushed through it quickly and let it swing shut behind me.

Glinting in the candlelight was the Trophy Room. Countless shelves and glass cabinets displayed various awards, trophies, cups, plaques, shields, statues and medals. I perused down the aisle. Everything was sorted by date. The vast majority of the collection was dated earlier than the 1900's. Hogwarts had been founded in 990 A.D. Nearly a thousand years worth of honorifics resided here.

It didn't take long for me to find the span of seven years my father would have been in Hogwarts. Born in 1940, he was two years older than my mum, who had arrived two years after he had. Dad would have attended Hogwarts between 1951 and 1958.

The seven years Dad had attended were housed not far from the entrance. Gleaming, polished medals and awards were stationed inside of glass cases and wooden shelves. Pictures of moving people waved and smiled at me as I scanned them for any sign of familiarity. Ancient Studies, Art, Frog Choir, Ghoul Studies, Magical Theory, Muggle Art, Music, Muggle Music, Orchestra, Slug Club…

I sighed in frustration and tried again.

I realized I had skipped over the Charms Club the first time I'd looked. With a start, I saw my mother, years younger and looking quite mischievous, staring at me from the photo of the Charms Club. She posed along with seven other young witches and three wizards. Professor Flitwick, situated at the front and center of the photograph, looked like he himself was fresh out of Hogwarts and back quickly enough to teach. I let myself look at the picture and my teenage mother a few moments longer before tearing my gaze away and looking for my father.

He was at the end of the extracurriculars, next to the Xylomancy Club.

_**Hogwarts Quidditch House Champions, circa 1950's**_ the label read in prominent golden letters. Each year, it featured a different picture, from 1950 all the way until 1959. Ravenclaw was featured as the champion House in 1950 and again in 1959. But Hufflepuff had won the House cup clean through 1951 through 1958. I peered into the photograph of each year they'd won. Several faces I'd never known smiled up at me. But the one that stood out the most was my father's.

He didn't have gray streaks in his golden hair. His young face was lively, competitive, and smooth. No lines of age or worry marred his smile. He was positioned in each photo holding his own broomstick, in Quidditch robes. In each photo he was holding up the Cup with his teammates in the other hand.

My gaze followed the line of photos to the label at the bottom of the display. A roll of parchment, written in neat black calligraphy, read:

_**This Certificate of Achievement is to be Immortalized in the Hogwarts Trophy Room for Recognition of Outstanding Excellence in Quidditch of Walter J. Harkstone. Named Daily Prophet's Youngest Promising Athlete in 1958 and Witch Weekly's Favorite New Hogwarts Quidditch Player in 1956, 1957, and 1958. This award commemorates Harkstone's prowess, earning his House the Quidditch Cup in a record-breaking seven-year streak. **_

I stared at the plaque and my dad's pictures until the windows outside were black with deep night and only the candles illuminated the room. I clutched my Silver Arrow in one hand, so tightly my knuckles turned white.

How could he have not told me? How could he have never mentioned how good he was at Quidditch? Why had he hidden it? And why had Mum never said anything?

There was a scuffling noise, like sandpaper being dragged along a wall. I finally wrenched my gaze away from the trophies and found myself face-to-face with Filch.

"Aha!" Filch cried, holding up a lamp, his skinny cat circling his legs excitedly. "Mrs. Norris told me she'd scented a student out of bed, wandering the corridors… and now you've gone and taken a school broom. And you're in the Trophy Room without permission!"

I gave both of them a baleful look. "I wasn't under the impression that the Trophy Room was out of bounds."

"Out of bounds, my foot!" Filch snarled, his jowls quivering. "You're out of bed, young missy, and giving me cheek to boot! It'll be straight to the dungeons with you!"

I lifted my brow in disdain. "The door was unlocked. I was told the Trophy Room was always open. I was studying… history."

"History, eh?" Filch repeated in disgust. "You're not very smart for a Ravenclaw, lying to me like that! Well, we'll just see what Professor Flitwick would like to do with you! Maybe Professor Kettleburn will use you as bait to catch some gytrashes. Oh, yes, those ghostly dog demons do love young students… especially third year girls…"

I shivered in disgust. "Alright, enough. I'll go with you to see Flitwick. But he'll tell you the same thing I just did. I'm not in trouble."

"We'll just see about that!" Filch yowled, reaching to grab my arm and drag me out, but I jerked away from his reach.

"Don't touch me." I said quietly, drawing my wand, thinking of Folsom and his death-cold hands. "Don't ever put your hands on me."

Filch gaped at me, as if stunned. Then he let out a rasping cough.

"Oho! Cheekiest Ravenclaw I ever did meet, and I've met plenty! Maybe it's time to clip your beak, you little snipe! Come along or I'll have the Kettleburn after you!"

Rolling my eyes, I followed Filch angrily out of the Trophy Room, wishing I could have stayed to learn more about my dad's hidden past. He had been an excellent Quidditch Player… but he'd never told me or my sisters. Why?

We trooped up the stairs towards Flitwick's office on the distant seventh floor. We had been walking for five minutes when there was a loud, booming voice that could only belong to Dumbledore.

"Mr. Filch!" Dumbledore's voice boomed, echoing like thunder in the huge stairwell. "_ARGUS FILCH!"_

Mr. Filch froze, just like the Bludger had done when Sean had jinxed it. His heavy-lidded eyes bugged open and his jaw dropped open in shock. He looked around wildly, but neither of us could see Dumbledore, or pinpoint where his voice had come from.

"S-sir?" Filch stammered stupidly.

"What ARE you doing with that Ravenclaw girl?" Dumbledore intoned loudly, causing Mrs. Norris to pace very nervously.

Filch gaped stupidly. "Taking her to her Head, Professor Headmaster sir! She was out of bed, wandering the corridors!"

"Release her at once!" Dumbledore demanded.

Filch and I looked around again for the source of his voice, but most of the stairwell was shrouded in shadow. Filch looked outraged and scared.

"But… but sir! She's violating your rules…"

"DID I STUTTER?" Dumbledore roared, and his voice was so terrible that I flinched. Filch jumped a foot and looked as if he'd been hit by something very heavy.

"No… I… I didn't… I'm sorry!" Filch yelped. Mrs. Norris had fled for her life and was gone. Filch was quickly losing steam now that his cohort was absent and the unseen Headmaster was bearing down upon him.

"Apologize!" Dumbledore insisted. "And get back down to the dungeons! There are Slytherins out of bed and I want them reprimanded! Give them lines and make them clean out the hospital wing bedpans with toothbrushes!"

I blinked several times. The voice sounded just like Dumbledore's but the Dumbledore I knew would never speak this way. Filch, however, clearly hadn't deduced that fact.

He bowed as low as his rheumatism would allow. I heard several clicks as his back popped back into place as he straightened up. "Right away, sir, right away!"

And without even looking at me, he loped down the stairs and out of sight.

I folded my arms and waited. Sure enough, footsteps clattered down the stairs towards me and a moment later, James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus materialized out of the air.

"What a gullible little rat." James chortled as he pulled off his Invisibility Cloak. "Right old nutter, that one."

"He's so old I'll bet when he farts, dust blows out." Sirius added, earning a huge giggle from Peter. "Just a simple mimicking charm and he's bought the whole deal."

Remus glanced at me once and then looked away. I peered at him.

"Hey." He said quietly.

"Hey yourself." I replied, unfolding and refolding my arms. "How was dinner with Angelina?"

Remus' eyes widened slightly but he didn't look at me. "She talked a lot. Have a good practice with that meathead Locke?"

His tone held a note of frostiness. And I hadn't known Remus to be the insulting type.

"Looks like he's a little jealous." James simpered, flipping a hand dramatically. "Quick, let's get down to Professor Carriage's office and set up some marriage counseling for you two before it's too late."

"Oh, my God." I moaned, slapping a hand to my face. "Did it ever occur to either of you that we're only thirteen?"

"Love doesn't know age." Sirius chanted in the voice of a whiny little girl. Peter was laughing so hard at both of them that tears leaked out of his eyes.

"Enough." I snapped. Then I softened slightly. "Listen, thanks for that… getting me out of that scrape with Filch."

"No worries." James said breezily. "Are you still mad about earlier?"

"Oh, you mean when you duelled me and then left me by myself in the woods?" I said scathingly. "No, I'm totally alright with it."

"Oh, well, good." James said, misunderstanding my sarcasm for truth. "So, I'm sure he's told you… little Padfoot here is an Animagus."

Sirius gave a little bow. Peter clapped. "Thank you, thank you." Sirius said graciously.

I rolled my eyes. "Shouldn't we move somewhere safer? I don't want to get discovered again by Filch."

"Good thinking, Rocky." James said. "Come on, let's go down to the kitchens. I think I smelled pumpkin pie earlier."

"Oh, goody." I said sarcastically as I followed them down the stairs. "We're already wandering the halls after curfew. Let's add stealing food while we're at it."

"Always so negative these days." Sirius observed.

"Really, Harkstone, it's not a great fit for you." James advised. "Why don't you try smiling every month or so? It might be good for your complexion. Though maybe this attitude _does _suit you. You've already got two dogs clamoring for you to give them a biscuit."

"Shut _up _James." Remus snapped.

James laughed and put up his hands. "Alright! So touchy. Look, here we are."

The five of us halted before a large portrait of a bowl of fruit. Sirius leaned forward and tickled a pear the size of a horse. The pear chuckled. A moment later, the portrait swung open and revealed a passage that led into the kitchen.

"We should at least knock first." I muttered as I followed the boys inside.

"It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, Harkstone. Haven't I been saying that for three years?" James said as he jumped into the kitchen. Several fast-paced house elves milled around the kitchen. Some were in the midst of cooking. Others were busy washing dishes and pots.

I blinked, astonished. I tried counting the small, pink-skinned elves, all wearing their customary uniforms. Each wore their white toga-like smocks tied around their shoulders. All were busy.

"Hmmm…" James said seriously. "Would it be possible to get some service?"

He hadn't been rude or demanding. But in a second, at least five house elves scurried over, bearing plates of food or drinks. I gaped at the boys as they all helped themselves.

"Are you _insane_?" I said incredulously as Sirius helped himself to a slice of pumpkin pie.

"You're the nutter, not us." James said through a mouthful of treacle tart. "Come on, they're house elves. They live to serve. Look, they love it!"

I spared a look at the elves. Indeed, each looked enthralled to be feeding the boys. I hesitated, attracted to the sight of spicy brownies.

"They've got jasmine iced tea," Sirius added.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright. If it means you two will shut up." I hesitantly took a square dusted with confectioner's sugar. A house elf offered me a glass of iced tea. I accepted both gratefully and watched them spirit the plates of food and drink away.

"Well, now I guess we can talk about how I became an Animagus first." Sirius said proudly, finishing his pie with gusto.

Remus slanted a look at him. "Do tell us." His tone reflected boredom and sarcasm.

Sirius seemed unruffled. Puffing out his chest, he cleared his voice. "My dear old father forgot to check on his library. I don't think he's done inventory since Regulus was old enough to walk, but no matter. It worked out in my favor. Amber,"

"-it's Harkstone." I snapped.

"..._Harkstone _and I snuck into his office one day last year, you remember?"

James snorted. Peter gazed at me with admiration. I looked away, embarrassed.

"Yeah, we broke wizarding law," I said darkly. "and?"

"Well." Sirius said, grinning wolfishly, "dear old dad never checked to see if his copy of _The Beasts Within All of Us_ by Falco Aesalon was missing from his shelves."

Sirius withdrew a tattered, ancient-looking volume that looked to be made more of dust than paper and ink. I frowned apprehensively.

"This book taught you how to become an Animagus?"

Sirius nodded. "Why? You surprised?"

I shrugged. "More surprised that you can read."

James roared with laughter. A smile twitched on Remus' lips.

"Very funny." Sirius said dryly. "But really… this book has the stuff you need. It's complex, but it's not too much harder than learning the Unbreakable Vow. It's just about concentration, effort, and consistency. James and Peter are already working on theirs, but they don't have the same hereditary advantage that I do."

Remus took the book delicately from Sirius, as if it was a dirty diaper, and read it carefully. "...so, anyone can become an Animagus, but only a few will actually have the stones to do it. Is that right?"

"Perfectly right, Moony." Sirius said with a flourish. "Usually your Patronus can tell what kind of animal you'll become. Professor Smith said they're one in the same. Same type of energy you have for two different, related things."

"I think you're crazy." I said, taking the book from Remus' hands. I scanned a few lines. "It says that if you don't learn how to properly do it… you can be stuck halfway… _forever_?"

"The risk is part of the fun." James said easily. "Come on, Harkstone. You said you wanted to be part of our group."

I raised a brow. "When did I ever say that?"

"Two years ago in the Shrieking Shack." Sirius piped up. "You made a Vow, remember?"

I closed the old book deftly. "I'm going to bed and I'm going to read this book to see if it's legit or not."

"Don't lose it." Sirius said warningly. "That's a first edition. It's older than Hogwarts."

"Don't be ridiculous." I reprimanded, but I held the book a little more carefully.

"Well," Remus said abruptly. "I feel up for a walk around the grounds. Anyone else fancy a walk?"

James grinned between us. "Maybe it's better if you two go alone. Know what I mean?"

"Oh, no." Sirius said. "We can't leave them unattended. They might, you know… go too far…"

I almost whacked Sirius with the book, before remembering how old it was. I settled with my free hand. Sirius shied away, laughing.

"You're both disgusting." I said, storming away. "I'm going to read."

I could still hear them laughing after me. I climbed through the portrait hole, aware that Remus had been the only one not laughing. And that my father, for whatever his reasons, had decided to withhold from me the fact that he was one of the best Quidditch players Hufflepuff had ever had.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, Soren landed before my plate of toast and eggs, a letter tied to his leg. He held it out for me, nibbling my finger affectionately as I took the sealed envelope from him.

I was alone at breakfast today. The boys were huddled together, and Remus had decided to stay with his own kind. Lily had also chosen to remain at Gryffindor table. I pretended not to care about either of their choices.

I slit open the envelope with my butter knife. A small sheet of parchment fell onto the table. It was a short note, written in small, neat letters.

_Dear Miss Harkstone,_

_We will be postponing our meeting until November the 21st at 7 pm in my office. Please continue in your studies as usual. Please contact me after class if you have any questions or concerns!_

_Professor Flitwick_

I glanced up at the staff table, but I couldn't see the tiny professor due to the amount of students blocking the view. Today was sunny and much warmer than yesterday; it felt more like summer had returned to make one last hurrah before fall completely took over.

I finished my breakfast quickly and exited the Hall. On my way out, I bumped into Angelina, who was talking with Zoey MacDonald. They stopped and looked at me curiously.

"Hi, Amber," Angelina said, while Zoey giggled. "I… um… actually wanted to talk to you about something."

I tried a smile. "Sure. What is it?"

Angelina slid a cautious glance towards the Gryffindor table. "Um… do you… are you going out with Remus Lupin? Because if you're not, I think he's really cute."

I stared at her, the smile wiped off my face like a paintbrush across a canvas. My insides turned to boiling lava. "I'm sorry?"

"Remus." Angelina repeated. "You know… your quiet friend. He really only talks to you. Anyway… if you're not dating him…"

Totally lost for words, I stared at Remus, who would not meet my eyes.

I felt something cool inside of me, like frost blown onto a wilting flower. "I don't think so. Why?"

Angelina giggled. "I just like him. He's cute. Thanks, Amber." She and Zoey sashayed away, looking at the Gryffindor table but choosing to sit at the Ravenclaw table instead.

I stalked out of the hall. For some reason, my heart was pounding way too heart and I felt like I'd just missed a step going downstairs. My hands shook. I balled them into fists at my sides. What was the matter with me?

I headed for the lake, the book tucked under one arm. I'd only had a chance to read one chapter before bed. It was difficult enough reading by candlelight, even more so when the pages were soft and crinkly with age. It was like flipping onion skins instead of paper.

I made my way down alone to the beech tree stationed solitarily by the water's edge. The surface was still, broken only by the occasional ripple of a breeze. The air was warm and heavy and smelled like late summer. I sat back against the trunk of the tree and opened the book to chapter two. I read quietly for a half hour, shifting a few times when the hard back of the tree made sitting uncomfortable. It was when I was reading the line _...part of the process of becoming an Animagi is holding the leaf of a mandrake in the mouth for an entire month_… when I heard excited voices. I looked up, expecting to see my familiar Gryffindor boys, and surprised when I didn't.

Instead, it was a group of four students. Two I recognized. Angelina Azadian and Zoey MacDonald. The other two were boys, and it took me a moment longer to register who they were. One was Davey Gurgeson, a fourth-year Gryffindor, and the other was Frank Longbottom, a fellow third year Gryffindor. Frank seemed distressed, while Angelina and Zoey were excited. They were egging Davey on about something.

I watched them meander their way across the ridge. I didn't realize their destination until it was too late. The Whomping Willow… the murder tree… it was standing alone, haughty and aggressive, swaying in the warm breeze, apparently oblivious to the fact that four students were currently making a beeline for it.

I realized what they were going to do before it happened. For the past two years since the tree was planted, it had been a schoolwide dare to try to get as close as you could to touching the trunk without getting hit. It had been banned explicitly and was met with several lost points and detentions for those stupid enough to try it. And those that had managed to get past it, like me…

I shut my thoughts off towards where they were headed. I shut the old book and leapt to my feet. "Wait!" I cried, pelting up the hill towards their distant figures. "Stop! Don't go near that tree!"

But either I was too far or they didn't want to listen. Frank was making imploring motions with his hands. Clearly, he didn't want Davey going near that tree. But Angelina and Zoey were watching and laughing. I pounded up the hill, drawing my wand. "Davey!" I yelled, still about three hundred feet away. "Don't! Stop! _Stop!"_

Davey wasn't listening. He was creeping closer to the willow, who had finally noticed someone approaching and snapped its long tendrils threateningly. It creaked and moaned, swaying heavily to and fro.

"DAVEY!" I shouted. "STOP!"

Now the girls were looking over at me. Angelina looked supremely unconcerned. Zoey was actually encouraging him.

I looked to Frank desperately. "Frank! Stop him!"

Frank drew his wand, but it was too late. Davey raced towards the tree trunk. The tree swung forward at him.

"NO!" I screamed.

There was a horrible slapping noise. The girls were screaming in horror and fear. Frank ran towards the tree. I dropped the book on the ground and rushed forward. The Willow pulled back and brandished its many tendrils in warning. I whipped out my wand, praying it would work.

"_Impedimenta_!" I shouted, but the tree continued to lean forward, its trunk rushing towards me. It was going to crush me. It was going to kill me just like it had killed Virginia…

A moment before it hit, a woman's voice cracked through the air like a gunshot. "_Arresto Momentum!"_

The tree froze in place. Just barely ten feet above my head, it leaned over me menacingly, casting shadow over me and the crumpled body of Davey Gudgeon.

"Oh, my God!" Angelina screamed. "He's dead!"

Professor Smith hurried over and bent over the boy. His face was covered in blood. She pursed her lips. "You two! Go and tell Madam Pomfrey what has happened. You!" She pointed to Frank. "Go tell Dumbledore. Amber, help me."

Shaking, I hastened to her side. Davey's face was covered in blood, and there was a cruel slash across the side of his face. I clapped my hand over my mouth.

"Yes," Professor Smith said grimly, "it's not pretty. Come, help me. Hold him while I stop the bleeding."

I held Davey's head still while Professor Smith lowered her wand over the boy's face, which was oozing fresh blood. I fought the urge to vomit.

"_Vulnera sanentur…_" Professor Smith murmured over and over in a low, melodic voice. Davey's face was still ravaged, but the bleeding stopped.

"He'll need to be fixed up by Poppy." Professor Smith said in a businesslike way. "I'll take him to the hospital wing." She gave the willow tree a dark look. "I understand why we need protection… but I thought Professor Sprout and Hagrid would have chosen a better method than this thing."

I stared at her. "Do you know?"

Professor Smith gave me a cursory look before waving her wand again and making an unconscious Davey float in midair after her. "Of course I do. This is the Whomping Willow, less commonly known as the Murder Tree."

All the air in my body left in a _whoosh_. Professor Smith was already moving away briskly towards the castle. Davey floated after her, his limbs hanging down at his sides in a grotesque fashion. I hurried after her and picked up the book I'd discarded.

"Professor," I said breathlessly, "you know it's called the Murder Tree?"

"It's old Britain folklore." She answered. "But I'd rather you hold your questions later, Amber. I'm a bit preoccupied trying to save this boy's eye."

I snuck a glance at Davey's ravaged face and immediately wished I hadn't. "Right. Okay. What should I do?"

Professor Smith quickened her pace. "Make sure no one else is this foolish."

* * *

By dinner, news had spread throughout the entire school about Davey Gudgeon's foolish and doomed attempt to best the willow tree. Remus looked ashen.

"What?" I said, settling myself at the Gryffindor table. "You look awful, Remus."

"Yeah." Peter agreed. "And Amber was the one who had to help him, right?"

"Good point Peter, I'm proud." James said, half-teasing the round-faced boy. Peter flushed.

Remus shook his head and then hid his face in his hands. "This is my fault."

Sirius snorted. "Why? You didn't almost slash out his eye."

"I might as well have." Remus said despairingly. "That tree was put there because of me. It wasn't even here before…"

James patted Remus forcefully on the back. "Ease up, old boy. It's not like he died or anything. Wasn't Madam Pomfrey able to save his eye?"

"She was." I confirmed. "But this was serious. I mean, how many times have people dared each other to try and touch the trunk? It's just… stupid, really."

Remus gave me a look. He didn't have to say anything, because I knew he was thinking of our first year, when I myself had tried to goad the tree into attacking me.

"Look," I said, taking a deep breath, "this has got to stop. I mean, he could have _died. _This could have been much worse if Frank and I hadn't been there."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come off it, Harkstone. Have a little sense of fun. Risk is what makes life worth living!"

I gave him a repulsed look. "I can't believe you sometimes. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though."

"Why?" Sirius said, dropping his voice. "Because I was raised in a house that practically worships the Dark Arts?"

James nodded. "That might be it, mate."

Both boys grinned at each other.

I finished my cup of soup, shaking my head. "You two are incorrigible."

Just then, Professor Smith swept by our table. She made haste to the front of the room, where the rest of the staff sat talking in low, hushed voices. She made straight for Professor Dumbledore, whispering something in his ear. He nodded every few seconds in agreement. When she moved to her seat, he rose from his high-backed chair and to his golden, owl-crested podium. The Great Hall fell silent.

"Good evening, students." Dumbledore said, smiling down at us. "I'm sure by this hour all of you have heard of the incident today concerning our Whomping Willow and a young Gryffindor student."

Murmurs met his proclamation. Remus buried his face in his hands again, distraught.

"It has come to the attention of the staff and I that many of you do not appreciate the level of danger present in that tree." Dumbledore said, eyeing several girls at different House tables meaningfully. Angelina was paying attention to him, looking abashed.

"Yes, it is true that a student nearly lost his eye today. But it could have been much worse. Therefore, I implore you to use your good judgment and refrain from making rash decisions. At your age, it may seem cool to taunt serious injury or even death. But I can assure you, the game is only fun until someone gets hurt."

Silence met his words. I dared sneak a look at Professor Smith, who was staring right at James and Sirius with a look of intense disapproval. They were huddled together, whispering and laughing. I whacked them on the backs of their heads with Sirius's old book. They both yelped and covered the backs of their heads with their hands, glaring at me reproachfully.

"Be careful with that!" Sirius hissed, as several people at the Gryffindor table giggled.

Dumbledore smiled indulgently. "As such, we have decided to forbid any student from coming within a quarter mile of the Whomping Willow. Any disobedience will be met with discipline at the decision of the students' Heads of House. I implore you to be cautious and respect our school's boundaries. I would also like to remind students again that the Forbidden Forest is still quite forbidden, and unless you are accompanied by our gamekeeper, Professor Kettleburn, that too will be met with consequences. Good night!"

The majority of the students sprang to their feet and cleared out of the Hall as Dumbledore bid us good night. Sean was waving me over from the Hufflepuff table, holding his Cleansweep Six.

James and Sirius were talking loudly again. "I wonder if the Willow attacks just humans," James wondered aloud. "Hey, Padfoot, maybe you could try-"

"Enjoy losing an eye, or a tail." I said waspishly as I rose from the table. Remus lifted his head and stared at me.

"Where are you going?" He asked, frowning, still pale.

Sean waved me over again, lifting his broom in indication. I offered him a smile, looking back at Remus.

"You'll see in a few weeks." I hinted, retrieving _The Beasts Within Us_ and hurrying to catch up with Sean for another round of Quidditch practice.

I wasn't aware of Professor Smith watching me leave, or of Remus's face. I didn't even notice his eyes flash golden-yellow as I jockeyed over to Sean and left the Hall with him side by side.


	38. Tryouts

September passed by in an endless cycle of meals, classes, Quidditch practices with Sean, and reading through _The Beasts Within Us. _After a month, when I had finally finished the old book, I set it aside carefully and leaned back against the chintz chair in the library.

Becoming an Animagus, as the text said, was one of the hardest things a witch or wizard could ever attempt doing. Much harder than producing a corporeal Patronus, which I still hadn't been able to do. The process was so ardent, so tedious, that I seriously debated just giving up the whole ridiculous idea.

But Sirius had mastered it. At just thirteen years old, he could transform into a black dog. He could produce a Patronus, like James and Remus. James was working hard to become an Animagi, just like Sirius.

But still. The fact remained that in order to become one, several tools and processes were needed. An exceptionally skilled witch or wizard would need to perform a spell on you, with an incantation that was unknown and considered Dark. They would need to maintain this focus on the person who wished to be an Animagus for two whole weeks. And then, after holding a mandrake leaf in the mouth for an entire month, a horrible potion was to be drunk, even more vile than polyjuice potion. It contained human blood, your own. Incredible, inhuman concentration would be needed as well. Focusing almost all of your energy and time into becoming something new, taking on a new body… the thought of how Sirius could have done it made me green with envy and clench my fists.

The process was said to take at least two years, usually longer. So that meant that Sirius had been trying for longer than James had talked about it.

But was it really that difficult to imagine him stumbling upon this book or even just the information about an Animagus in a household that resembled Borgin and Burke's? Most likely, his parents or a relative had helped him achieve the incredible feat. And, as much as it galled me to admit it, he, James, Remus and even Peter were very skilled, determined boys. Sirius just happened to have the perfect blend to expedite his transformations.

I closed my eyes and leaned back, drained. Not only was my body changing already because of hormones and daily Quidditch drills, but on top of it, I had homework and exams to study for. How was I ever going to find the time to become an Animagus?

The results were worth it, I knew. But was the process?

Madam Pince was scouring her library, skulking through aisles and peering at other students like a wolf stalking its prey. It was nearly time for Transfiguration with McGonagall; I stuffed the ancient book into my bag and hurried out of the library.

The halls were filled with students walking from one class to another. I pushed past Angelina and Zoey, who were walking slowly and chattering like squirrels. Most likely, they were gossiping about other girls or about whoever they thought were cute boys. The remark Angelina had made to me a month prior about Remus still made me want to throw something. She had no business asking such a personal question, even if she was sincere. Remus and I were just close friends, so why did her intrusive question still haunt me?

Professor McGonagall was waiting at the front of her classroom. On her chalkboard, she had drawn a picture of a woman turning into a cat in four different stages. Feeling nervous, I sat down beside Remus, who made room for me by pushing James over one seat. James was laughing raucously at a joke Sirius had made. I glanced behind me. Lily, who hadn't spoken to me since our first Care of Magical Creatures class, met my gaze and then quickly looked away. Pretending I didn't feel hurt, I turned my back on her and faced Professor McGonagall.

Professor McGonagall waited for the last of the students to filter in before she waved her wand and slammed the door shut. This surprised James and Sirius, who shut up at once and sat up straighter. With more than seven detentions under their belts already, they weren't keen on taking on any more from her.

Professor McGonagall tapped her wand against the chalkboard. The drawings of the woman phasing in and out of a cat form moved together in an animated sequence.

"Before we begin our lesson today on Transfiguration, I would like to give a brief introduction on the art of being an Animagus."

James and Sirius grinned.

"There are only three registered Animagus alive today in 1972." Professor McGonagall told us. "But it's likely there are more who have chosen to illegally _not _register themselves."

Sirius's grin broadened so that all of his teeth were showing.

"Professor?" Lily asked. "What happens if someone doesn't register?"

Professor McGonagall lifted a brow. "Well, Miss Evans, they usually will be given a trial before the Wizengamot for Improper Use of Magic and then given a sentence to Azkaban prison."

There were several gasps. Sirius's grin faltered.

"Yes, it is quite serious not to follow the law our Ministry has set down." She said gravely. "Indeed, the process of becoming an Animagus is a very long, difficult journey that many choose not to embark upon. But for some, the result is well worth the trouble."

Sirius elbowed James, who winked. I rolled my eyes.

"Aren't there easier ways to become an animal?" Arnold Dingle, a third year in Ravenclaw, asked, sounding bored.

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips. "Not exactly. However, one can become infected with lycanthropy, through being bitten by a werewolf during the full moon. However, you will not retain your humanity whilst you are transformed. An Animagus is different in that they may change at will and still have their wits about them. They have the body of an animal, but the mentality of a human."

I slid a glance over at Remus. He was staring down steadily at the desk, not saying a word.

"Have you ever met a werewolf or an Animagus?" Edmund Pepper called out.

McGonagall, who most likely knew of Remus' condition, lifted a thin brow. "As a matter of fact, yes. Two Animagus, all of whom you know."

Several mutters rose at this disclosure. Lily raised her hand. "Who, Professor?"

Professor McGonagall looked amused. "I'll protect the privacy of the other and let her tell you when she is ready. The other, I can happily announce."

And she turned into a silver tabby cat.

Several students clapped. Lily looked temporarily robbed of speech. Sirius grinned as James clapped him hard on the shoulder.

When she had transformed back into a human, she cleared her throat for silence. "As you can see, once the process of becoming an Animagus is complete, you can transform into your animal form at will. Tonight, you will be reading chapters four and five, the former of which is specifically about Animagus. I would you all now to partner up and work on transfiguring your tea cups into gerbils. The first pair to have both of their cups turned into gerbils will earn ten points for their House."

Remus was still staring down at his desk, and now he was scratching a deep groove into the wooden surface. I tapped him gently. He looked up, startled.

"Did you even hear her?" I asked, amused.

Remus shrugged. "I'm guessing we need to transfigure these?" He pointed to the two blue China tea cups in front of us.

I nodded. "Into gerbils. What's on your mind?"

Remus prodded his teacup with his wand. "Nothing."

"Mhm." I glanced at the board. Written neatly on the other half of the chalkboard, Professor McGonagall had written instructions for transfiguration, including the wand motion and the incantation.

"Is your wand working any better?" Remus asked as I gave the cup a gentle tap and said, "_Vera Verto_". The cup didn't even move.

I sighed. "I guess."

Remus copied me. His tea cup shivered and squeaked. "I think you ought to talk to Flitwick at least, if not Dumbledore. Something might be faulty with that wand."

I glared at the teacup and willed it to become a gerbil. "_Vera Verto!" _I said waspishly. The cup remained still.

"Professor!" Lily called. "I've done it!"

"Excellent, excellent," Professor McGonagall said proudly, beaming down at Lily's desk, where a small white gerbil nibbled the corner of her notes. "Ten points for Gryffindor. Now, Miss Evans, why don't you do as Helga Hufflepuff would have done and go around the room and help those who haven't yet grasped the material?"

She gave James and Sirius a meaningful look. Lily looked revolted. She rose to her feet, breaking away from Angelina and moving to a struggling pair.

"I don't want to get a new one." I said stubbornly. "It's a good wand. It's got a phoenix feather in it."

Remus waved his wand again and muttered the incantation. This time, the cup sprouted whiskers and a tail. "You know, I think you're being a little stiff-necked." He said lightly.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on. You know it's just a phase. Doesn't every witch go through this? Waning powers when they go through… you know…"

"Puberty?" James offered, cutting in between us.

"Shove off, Potter." I snapped. "You're supposed to be transfiguring your cup."  
"Already done it." James said lazily, leaning back, arms behind his head. Sirius was coaching Peter, who was concentrating so hard that his round face was red and glistening with sweat.

"Liar." I shot, as Remus successfully transfigured his tea cup to a brown gerbil. It raced over the desk, jumped into my own cup, and curled up.

"I think it's dead." James said.

"It's just hiding from you." I retorted. I tapped the cup again. "_Vera verto!"_

Nothing.

James sniggered. "Having some trouble, Harkstone? Maybe it's time for some Remedial Transfiguration."

"She's just nervous." Remus defended, whacking James with his wand. James flinched.

"A little touchy. Okay, I get it. You two lovebirds would rather have some privacy. I'll just go talk to Lily instead."

I rolled my eyes. "Knock yourself out." I tried again to transfigure the cup, but to no avail.

James looked surprised. "You don't care if I talk to your best girl friend?"

"Nope."

James whistled. "Wow. I guess you two aren't exactly on friendly terms anymore, are you?"

"Shut up, James." I warned. "It's none of your business."

Professor McGonagall swept over, glaring down at James. "Is there any actual work going on here?" she demanded.

Remus gave James a look. James sighed and got up. "Yes, yes. I was only trying to give them a few pointers."

But Professor McGonagall didn't look the least convinced. "Mr. Lupin and Miss Harkstone are some of the top students in your year, Potter. I doubt they need any help. Move along."

James ruffled Remus' hair and left. I glared after him. Professor McGonagall remained and looked down at my teacup. I felt heat rise into my cheeks.

"Miss Harkstone, I'm surprised at you." She said, sounding genuine. "You and Miss Evans are usually the quickest to grasp new material. Pay attention."

I blushed. "I know, I'm sorry. I'll try harder."

But she looked faintly amused as she looked down at the two of us. "I understand affections run high at your age, but please, at least finish your assignments before you canoodle off." She left our table, heading for Sirius and Peter. Peter looked desperate to transfigure his cup, but had only managed to make it hop up and down, squeaking shrilly.

Remus chuckled softly. "She's a tough one. Reminds me of you, just older."

I shrugged. "I guess." I tried several more times, but the cup didn't even move. I stared down at the wand, not wanting to think that it could really be rejecting me.

"So you've been down at the Quidditch Pitch a lot lately," Remus said after several moments of quiet. "with Sean Locke."

I nodded once, half-listening, trying to will the cup to change. "I have. James and Sirius won't know what hit them at tryouts."

Remus paused, looking slightly put out. "So… you're only spending time with him to learn how to play Quidditch? That's all?"

I glanced at Remus. He didn't look angry or upset. But his expression was carefully schooled free of emotion.

"Yes." I said carefully, watching him for a reaction.

There was the slightest flicker – relief? – in his green gaze. "So, you'll really be trying out for Ravenclaw's team, then?"

I frowned. "That's kind of the whole point of these practices."

"Right." Remus said, and he looked much happier. He carefully scooped his gerbil out of my teacup and let it race up his arm.

While his wand was down, I reached over and picked it up. It was willow. I gave it a casual flick. Nothing happened.

Remus was watching me. "What are you doing with that?"

"Nothing." I lied. I waved my hand and said the incantation once more. I cringed, waiting for an explosion to happen, or darkness to fall, just like what had happened at Ollivander's when I had been trying out various wands that had rejected me.

Nothing. Not even a single spark, not even a twitch. The teacup was still as ever. Wordlessly, I placed Remus' wand back down in front of him, staring down at the tea cup in shocked despair.

Lily was right. It wasn't my wand that was the problem. It was _me_.

"Amber?" Remus hedged. "Do you want to hold the gerbil?"

I glanced down at the little brown gerbil, who was scuttling across Remus's outstretched hands now. I couldn't meet his gaze.

"Do you think Squibs can start out with magic, and then lose them?" I asked quietly, ashamed.

Remus blinked. "What?"

"Squibs… you know. Folks born to magical parents, but don't have any magic in themselves. Maybe it's possible to be a Squib, but have magic at first. And then it just… dies."

Remus looked extremely dubious. "No way. I don't think it works like that. Either you're born flat-out magicless or not. It's not something that can change. But I'll do some reading. I did read somewhere a few weeks ago that if a witch or wizard has a serious emotional shock, their powers can recede or vanish until they're better."

I picked up Remu's gerbil, cradling it in my hands. To my surprise, I felt tears burn in my eyes. I blinked hard, trying to prevent them from falling.

"I really… I really miss her." I admitted quietly, my voice thin as a reed. "My sister. She would have been a second year this year…" I trailed off, a hard lump forming in my throat.

Remus gazed at me with deep sympathy. "It wasn't your fault, Amber."

I looked at him, teary-eyed, wondering if he had read that just from my expression. I couldn't speak past the pain in my throat.

Remus closed his hands over mine. The gerbil escaped and raced off the desk, scampering off the floor. I hung my head, my hair falling around my face, a curtain to my grief.

"You need to go talk to Professor Smith." Remus said gently. "Please."

I sniffled, not even caring that we were in a room full of students. "I can't. I can't tell…" I bit down on my lip, horrified that I had almost let the truth slip out.

Remus squeezed my hand. "Do it for me. Please, Amber. Me and Lily are worried."

Lily. Worried, was she? Then where had she been for the past few weeks?

"I'm fine." I lied bitterly, drawing my hand away and standing up abruptly. I could feel Remus watching me as I left the room, not caring if Professor McGonagall docked me points or gave me detention. All I knew was that I had to get out of that room, and away from the terrible truth that threatened to pull me into the ground where my sister was, because of me.

* * *

The first Saturday of October dawned crisp and cool. Frosty grass crunched underfoot as I made my way down to the Quidditch pitch, unaccompanied. I had been so nervous that I had hardly slept at all the night before and hadn't been able to coax my stomach into accepting even a bite of food. Instead, I'd settled for a big glass of icy water from the girls' bathrooms and hurried down to the pitch during breakfast, so that no other students would be able to see me.

I was so nervous that I kept forcing myself not to bend over and retch. My hands trembled as I paced around the grass, listening to my boots crunching them as I milled about. Finally, I decided not to linger on the chilly ground and instead rise to the occasion. Maybe getting off the ground and into the air would help calm my nerves.

I swung onto the Silver Arrow and rose easily into the air. Compared to my first attempt at riding a broom, I felt a small inward victory at how much I had progressed. Thanks to Professor Smith and Sean Locke, I had transformed from a nervous wreck into a _balanced_ nervous wreck.

I did a few circles around the empty pitch before I saw anyone else coming. My heart skipped a few beats as I watched little groups of students walking down from the castle towards me. I could see James Potter striding confidently down the hillside, broomstick in hand. Tagging along at his side was Sirius Black. Close behind was their unmistakable shadow, Peter Pettigrew. Just beyond him was Remus.

My heart began to pump faster with nerves as the stands filled with students. I hovered near the back of one tall post, dressed in a long robe of blue and bronze; Ravenclaw's tapestried tower. I glided along, unseen, palms slick with nervous sweat, as more students gathered. Finally, when the rest of the candidates had assembled, I had no choice. Descending behind the tower, I landed on shaky legs and walked out to the Quidditch Pitch.

It was loud. Students were chattering excitedly in the stands, filling the pitch with sound that only made my trembling worse. I filtered into the throng of hopefuls, shuffling from one booted foot to the other.

"Hey!" A familiar voice said excitedly. I turned, heat rising into my cheeks, as Sean made his way to me. He looked handsome in his yellow and black Quidditch robes, the back emblazoned with the badger of his House and his surname, Locke. The morning light made his gray eyes even more intense than usual.

"Hi." I said, my voice strangely high and thin. I swallowed.

Sean smiled sympathetically. "Got the butterflies?"

I tried to smile back, but it felt more like baring my teeth. "More like bowling balls. I feel like I might be sick."

Sean patted my arm reassuringly. "Don't worry. You'll be great. If you've really got your father's blood running in your veins, you'll blow the other hopefuls out of the way. Just don't let it get to you. Oh, and if you _do _get sick, aim for Potter." He jerked his thumb backward over his shoulder at James, who was demonstrating his reflexes by releasing a Snitch and catching it at the last minute, much to the amusement of the Gryffindor candidates. Too consumed by rising nerves, I merely nodded in understanding and averted my gaze.

A tall, gray-haired woman with piercing yellow eyes strode out onto the field. Just behind her, Professor Smith was carrying a wooden crate and a broomstick. Instantly, I felt relief. If Sean and Professor Smith were here, James and Sirius wouldn't be able to hex me.  
"Good morning!" Madam Hooch barked. "Welcome to tryouts for this year's teams. Houses, separate in your respective groups. Captains, lead your candidates to the sides. Hufflepuff, you're up first."

"Excuse me," James said rudely, pointing to Professor Smith, "but what's _she _doing here?"

Professor Smith swung her gaze slowly to James, whose obnoxious grin faltered under her withering stare.

"Professor Smith used to play professional Quidditch, back in the day." Madam Hooch snapped. "She is here at my request to observe, especially for any tomfoolery which will _not _be tolerated, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter."

Sirius grinned unabashedly.

Professor Smith caught my eye, looking away just as quickly. I gripped my broomstick handle tightly. If she was here, James and Sirius couldn't ruin my odds of making the Ravenclaw team.

"Hufflepuffs, this way!" Sean called commandingly. I glanced up at him before he turned away. I had never really appreciated just how _tall _he was. Just before he left, he looked down at me. Then he winked.

Blushing fiercely, I hurried away to join the Ravenclaws. There were ten, the least of any House. Slytherin's numbers were almost double ours. Hufflepuff had around twenty-five. Gryffindor led the pack with over thirty red-clad students clutching broomsticks.

A pretty black-haired girl with angular, obsidian eyes was standing in the foreground of the Ravenclaws. Her air of authority identified her as the team captain. I inched closer, heart pounding like a drum in my ears.

"Um," I managed. "Hi."

The girl looked down. She was tall too.

"Hi." She said, raising a brow. "You look a little green."

I ignored her comment. "I'm sort of new at flying. I just wanted to introduce myself… you know, so that you won't have to just guess when we're in the air."

The girl's eyebrows traveled farther and farther up her forehead, nearly disappearing into her hairline. I flushed.

"I'm Anna Noyes." The girl said, holding out a black-gloved hand. "I'm the Captain. You're Amanda, right?"

"Amber." I corrected, shaking her hand firmly. "Amber Harkstone."

Several heads turned at this. I stared at the ground.

"Did you say 'Harkstone'?" Anna said slowly.

"Yep."

There were several mutters. Anna moved closer. "Do you mean you're related to Walter Harkstone?"

I stared up at her with amazement. Even though Sean had told me, even though I had seen the picture proof, it still came as a shock to me that my father, who had never mentioned Quidditch to me before, was famous, more than a decade after his departure from Hogwarts. "He's my father."

Anna looked pleased. "Well, I hope you show more endurance, if you make the team. Good luck, Harkstone."

She turned her back to talk to her friend, who I recognized as the Prefect who had given me and Lily a nasty look during the first night back at Hogwarts. I knew I was being dismissed. I turned and watched the Hufflepuff's tryouts. Sean was in the air, coaching the first string of hopefuls. Professor Smith and Madam Hooch were airborne as well, though I noticed that Professor Smith's attention seemed to be fixed on the Gryffindor's rather than the Hufflepuffs.

There were a few impressive players. Most were nervous, and the vast majority of female players seemed exceptionally flustered. I wondered if it was because of Sean.

When the Hufflepuff tryouts were over twenty-five minutes later, the Slytherins took over. Lucius Malfoy, who had graduated the previous year, had been replaced by Tara Bristol, a muscular black girl with a stare to rival Folsom's. She was harsh and demanding, reducing a girl to tears as she stormed off the field, but produced good results by showing no mercy to her team. Their tryouts were the shortest, as Bristol immediately rejected anyone who showed less than near perfection.

"She's a piece of work." I muttered to no one in particular.

Anna Noyes had heard. She frowned. "Yes, but being tough isn't necessarily a bad thing. She'll make her team strive for perfection. They'll be a tough team this year with someone like that for Captain."

I didn't know what to say, so I shuffled my feet again. The truth was I didn't know much about Quidditch, only that I wanted to try. But I didn't dare divulge my minimal knowledge of the sport to my possible new Captain.

Sean Locke jogged over, his face pinkened from the snappy fall wind. His gray eyes glimmered as he grinned down at me.

"Still nervous?" Sean said, leading me away from the other girls, who were watching balefully.

I tried to act as if I wasn't aware of their angry looks. "Yeah. You're a good Captain. I can't imagine trying out for Slytherin this year."

"Yeah, that Tara's a tough cookie." Sean agreed, just as Professor Smith snapped, "Enough belittling, Bristol! Five points and it'll be double if you don't start softening up!"

Sean and I laughed in unison. "She's always been a stickler for fairness, Aunt Willow." Sean said fondly.

I glanced over at the Gryffindors as they filed past the retreating Slytherins. I watched James and Sirius shove roughly into several boys, earning whistle blows from Madam Hooch.

"Lots of competition today." Sean added. He glanced down at me again. "Hey, listen, after tryouts, want to meet me near the library?"

I was having a hard time following the conversation. It took me a full five seconds to digest his words. "Oh. Well, I don't know. I think I promised Remus I would work on our Potions paper together. It's my worst subject."

Sean shrugged good-naturedly. "Another time, then. Play well, Amber. I'll be cheering for you." He moved off to the benches with the other Hufflepuffs. Almost all of them had stayed to witness the rest of the tryouts.

The Gryffindor team was done after forty-five minutes. As much as it galled me, I admitted that James Potter was an exceptional flyer. He left the rest of the candidates miles behind him in the air, never dropping a Quaffle or letting the others score a hoop. The same girls who had cheered for Sean now cheered for James as he landed, victorious, grinning at the applauding stadium. He had just saved the Quaffle in a heart-stopping dive and was now having his hand held up like a triumphant gladiator by Sirius. The ruckus went on until Madam Hooch blew her whistle a minute later.

"Alright, enough hero worshipping!" She demanded. "Gryffindors, move off the pitch. Ravenclaws, you have the field."

I could feel Professor Smith watching me as I followed the other Ravenclaws into the center of the pitch. The Gryffindors passed by in a blur of red and gold. I was at the tail of the group, feeling sicker with each step. I hesitated, my head pounding. I closed my eyes for a moment, fighting off nausea, when I heard, "Oi! Harkstone, is that you?"

My eyes flew open. I had been dreading this. James and Sirius were gaping at me, frozen, brooms in hand. Nausea forgotten, I lifted my chin a notch and stared back at them defiantly.

"Yes?" I said coldly.

James and Sirius exchanged a look. Then they burst out laughing.

Heat rushed to my face as they doubled over, clutching their sides.

"It's not funny!" I snarled. "I've been practicing. It won't be like last year."

"Oh, my God." James gasped, tears running down his cheeks. "Padfoot, quick, go get Madam Pomfrey and have her bring a stretcher. Or a barf bag."

"Look at you, Lionheart." Sirius laughed, pointing rudely. "You look just like that time Kreacher found my mother's old bloomers and went around the house wearing them like a crown. Oh, Merlin's _beard!" _

They fell onto the ground, rolling.

I stomped over threateningly, reaching for my wand, when Professor Smith hovered by us. Her green eyes were hard.

"To your place, Amber." She ordered. She didn't even look at the boys, still roaring with laughter. "Just go."

I could see it in her face, even though she didn't say it. _The best revenge is proving them wrong._

Feeling like my face was on fire, I hurried to catch up to the other Ravenclaws, who had already kicked off and were rising gently into the air. Trying not to remember the previous year, I clenched my jaw and mounted my Silver Arrow. I kicked off from the cold ground, the strong sunlight hitting my back, like a warm hand, guiding me higher into the air. To my amazement, the moment I left the ground, I felt my fury and nerves leave me. Up here, I was free from the demons that plagued me on the ground. Up here, I was untouchable. This was just another practice with Sean. It didn't matter that half the school was watching. It didn't matter that James and Sirius were on the ground, their laughter reaching even up here.

I glanced a quick look down at the stands. I glimpsed Lily's red hair, shining like flames, and then Remus' anxious face as they both stared up at me. Lily's mouth was open in a small 'o' of surprise. Remus looked sick.

I had forgotten to tell them I had been planning to try out.

Before I could remedy this by flying down to them, Anna said in a loud, carrying voice, "Alright, listen up! I've got ten of you hoping to get a spot on our roster. Unfortunately, I've only got six spots to give out. So four of you will not be making it onto the Quidditch team today."

She surveyed us meaningfully. I clenched my broom handle tightly. _At least I can try._

"I want you all to try a basic formation with me. We'll be pretending this is a real Quidditch match. Pick a position you'd like to play. Split up into groups of five. If you've got any questions, just ask."

I noticed for the first time that half of the Ravenclaw hopefuls were wearing black armbands. With a pang, I remembered Dumbledore telling us that during the attack on Platform 9 ¾, Jericho Fleet, a Ravenclaw Quidditch player, had been killed. Feeling more somber, I flew after four Ravenclaws, gaze fixed upon the maroon Quaffle.  
Professor Smith and Madam Hooch were circling the air, watching us. I ignored the impulse to hex Sirius and James and instead channeled my energy into determination to win a spot on the Ravenclaw team. What would Dad say if I secured the position? What would Mum?

Too quickly, Madam Hooch blew her whistle, a high-pitched, loud note that silenced the stadium. Anna Noyes tossed the Quaffle and gave the signal to let loose the bludgers and the snitch.

Instantly, the team scattered. I rushed after a gaggle of two Ravenclaw girls and boys, making a team of five, and tried to remember everything Sean had taught me. _Stay balanced, don't look down, do your job, play fair._

A burly Ravenclaw boy whacked a bludger at the girl in front of me with an intimidating _crack_. The girl screamed and jerked to the left, avoiding it. It came straight for me. Heart pounding, I urged the Silver Arrow into a duckdive and popped up away from the bludger, which was now screaming in a wide arc towards its next potential victim.

Anna Noyes tossed the Quaffle into the air a second time. Four Ravenclaws scrambled for it. In the furor to grab the ball first, no one was able to catch it, and it dropped like a stone to the ground. James Potter caught it and grinned wolfishly.

"Throw it back, Potter!" Madam Hooch roared.

"You throw like a girl, Potter!" I shouted aggressively, spurred on by the flood of adrenaline coursing through my veins. The fact that I had managed to stay aloft this long was more heady than anything I'd ever felt before.

James threw me a dark look. He wound back his arm and hurled the Quaffle back into the sky.

Sirius must have jinxed the Quaffle. It shot like a cannonball into the fading late-morning mist, smoking and leaving a small trail of fire in its wake. Every Ravenclaw player darted away from the smoldering Quaffle, but I tightened my grip around my broomstick and plunged skyward.

The Quaffle was still shooting upward, like a comet re-entering space. Tears streamed from my eyes as I hurtled after the Quaffle, the wind whipping my hair back from my face. The air was colder, thinner, and I found it hard to breathe as I managed to catch up with the Quaffle, which was finally reaching velocity and rapidly slowing down. Fingers almost frozen, I snatched the Quaffle from the frigid air and turned back. The ground looked like a giant quilt from my height. The snow-capped mountains were like vanilla cupcakes, swirling up into the atmosphere. The lakes and forest stretched out endlessly in all directions. It beautiful, but breathtaking. Feeling faint, I tucked in my body and spiraled down.

The effect was instantaneous. I pressed even closer towards the broomstick to make myself as compact as possible. The wind screamed in my ears as I shot like a bullet back to earth. With alarming speed, the ground was rising up to meet me. I heard a faint popping in my ears as I swooped back down into the Quidditch pitch and flung the Quaffle through the middle hoop.

There were loud cheers, but I didn't listen. It didn't matter if it was for me or for the others. All I cared about was the thrill of playing, the adrenaline rush of the chase. Nothing else mattered.

Sebastian Smethley, the sixth year Ravenclaw Keeper, caught the Quaffle with one hand and tossed it to another player, Artemis Powell, a fifth year. She attempted to pass it to another player, Zoey MacDonald, who promptly fumbled it. I shot ahead of the others and snatched it, throwing it easily through another hoop.

It went on for another twenty exhilarating minutes when Madam Hooch finally blew her whistle. "Alright, time's up! Noyes, are you satisfied?"

Anna Noyes slid me an approving look. I grinned back, shaking with the flood of adrenaline and the knowledge that I had just passed with flying colors. "Yes, I am."

"To the ground!" Madam Hooch snarled. The blue-clad Ravenclaws descended to the ground like giant jays. Everyone separated into groups, girls and boys segregated, each talking quietly and seriously. I turned, alone, unsure of where to go, when I felt a boulder smash into me.

I staggered, trying to stay on my feet. "Ouch! Hey, what's the problem? You're squishing me!"

I gasped as Lily hugged me so tightly I thought my ribs were going to splinter. She released me, jumping up and down in pure excitement.

"Amber! _Amber_! Merlin's beard! You were… you just… I had no idea you could play like that!"

Her green eyes were alight with fevered trepidation. It was like the past month had never happened.

I grinned and ducked my head. "I guess I never knew I had it in me."

Lily clapped and pointed to two figures glaring at me across the field. "They had no idea, either. Oh, I wish you could have seen them when you went into the sky like that! How high did you go? We couldn't even see you!"

I glanced at Sirius and James, who were looking at me as if I had just sprouted horns and was breathing fire. I waved, smirking. "What do you mean, 'we'?" I asked Lily.

"I came to watch." Remus said quietly, smiling. "You were very good."

"Much better than last year, I'd say." Sean said smoothly, striding over and clapping me on the shoulder. "All that work we've done has finally paid off. I'd say you've secured a spot on the team until you graduate."

Remus had gone very quiet. He wasn't looking at Sean, but I could feel the tension rolling off of him in dark undercurrents. Lily didn't seem to notice. She was too busy laughing at Sirius and James' expense.

"You have your father's legacy, all right." Sean said proudly. "The legacy of Hufflepuff lives on in a Ravenclaw… who knew."

"She was a Hatstall." Remus said stiffly. "She could have been in Gryffindor. Not Hufflepuff."

Sean chuckled. "Yes, I suppose. Still, she's got talent. I'm sure your dad will be happy to know you've taken after him."

I frowned, squeezing my broomstick handle uncomfortably. "Maybe. He's awfully busy. He works at the Ministry." Even after Virginia's passing, Dad hadn't had much time for any of the girls in his life. Naomi, Mum, or me.

"Well, I'm excited to see how this Quidditch season will shape up." Sean said bracingly. He patted my shoulder again. "Excellent work, Amber. Maybe we can keep practicing."

"I don't think she needs it." Remus remarked dryly.

Sean lifted a brow. "I suppose you're right."

I felt the tension crackling like lightning between the two boys as they sized each other up. Uncomfortable, I looked at Lily and offered a half-smile. "Well, I guess we could celebrate by going into Hogsmeade for some butterbeer. I hear there's a bunch of students going soon."

Lily nodded enthusiastically. "Sounds like a plan. See you later, Remus. Nice seeing you, Sean." She winked at him, then me.

Sean chuckled and strolled away to his team. Remus didn't follow us. Instead, he made his way over to Sirius and James, who were entertaining Peter. As soon as they were out of earshot, Lily grabbed my arm and squeezed.

"You never told me Sean fancied you!" She squealed. "Oh, Amber, he's so _dreamy_! And he's older. He's handsome, too. Tall."

I smirked. Clearly, Lily had discovered boys. "Let's put it this way. Boys haven't exactly discovered _me_."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, Amber, you are _so _oblivious sometimes. Can't you see? Sean didn't volunteer to train you just to earn extra points for his House. He wanted to get close to you!"

My face grew hot. "No way. He doesn't… Lily, I'm thirteen! He's almost seventeen."

Lily shrugged. "You're taller than I am, and you're more mature than a lot of girls in our school. No wonder he likes you."

I shrugged, stowing my Silver Arrow under one arm, replaying the tryout over and over in my mind, especially the death-defying chase to get the Quaffle that James and Sirius had sent into the atmosphere. "We're just friends."

"I won't even get started on Remus." Lily went on, eyes sparkling. "I thought you two were going steady."

Instantly, I remembered Diagon Alley and how we had followed Professor Smith into Knockturn Alley. How he had held my hands. How he had smelled me out on the train after it had been attacked.

I shut my eyes briefly, determined to block out the confusing thoughts and feelings I had for both boys. "I'm too young for this."

Lily laughed. "No, you're not. Plenty of students our age are going out with each other. James Potter's got a lot of attention from the Gryffindor girls."

I raised a brow. "And is that something you're okay with?"

Lily made a retching noise. "I'd rather pitch myself off the Astronomy Tower than go out with _him_."

We had reached the changing rooms. Lily continued to chatter and gush, filling me in on the past month we hadn't spoken, but without any hint that there had ever been any animosity between us. I smiled, happy to be on speaking terms with my best friend again.

"So," Lily said as we exited the changing rooms and headed for the path that would bring us to Hogsmeade, "there is something else I wanted to ask you about."

"Go for it." I said, watching as Filch hobbled over as quickly as he could, a furious scowl on his weather-beaten face.

"Permission forms?!" He snarled.

Lily and I calmly handed them over. Filch scrutinized each word as best as his poor eyesight would allow before thrusting them back into our hands.

"No contraband!" He growled as we walked away. "And no entering the Shrieking Shack!"

My heart missed a beat as I thought about the last time I had gone inside. It had been two weeks ago, just for an hour, but I had enjoyed a particularly loud game of Exploding Snap with the boys and listened to James and Sirius debate the possible rise of the Dark Arts. Remus had sat next to me. In fact, when we were together, it seemed that he was always beside me.

Why hadn't I noticed it before?

"Hey," Lily said, frowning, "what're you thinking about? You've got that Ravenclaw-look."

I quickly schooled my face to be blank. "I do _not_."

Lily smirked. "You did. You start frowning and get all quiet and stare at a faraway place. Spit it out."

But I had paused in my walk. Just ahead of us, like a murder of crows, were the Slytherin boys. Avery, Nott, Mulciber, and Regulus. Their ringleader, Malfoy, was off and graduated, but it was clear that they'd had no problem remaining in their little cult. They were standing in a black huddle, wearing their school robes, near the broken gate that led to the Shrieking Shack. Mulciber in particular bothered me. He had prejudice against Muggleborns, and held grudges. He glanced up as well approached slowly from a distance, but I felt my heart beat faster in warning as I saw him reach for his wand.

"Look what the wind blew our way." Avery breathed, noticing us. "A Mudblood and a puffed-up little hag."

Lily bristled immediately. "_Excuse _me?"

Regulus had turned to regard us with those haughty silver eyes that matched his brother Sirius' precisely. The energy in the air changed from that of airy joy to tense trepidation.

"We're just going into Hogsmeade." I said passively, not meeting their eyes directly. "Let us pass."

The four of them had started towards us slowly, like wolves circling their prey. Lily drew her wand.

"Don't." I hissed. Lily paused, but didn't stow her wand.

"What are you going to do?" Mulciber taunted. "Turn our hair pink? Those little kid tricks don't scare us."

"Funny, because your face could curdle milk." Lily snapped. Mulciber flushed dull red. Regulus looked like he might have laughed.

"I'd watch your mouth, Mudblood." Nott said quietly. I had hardly heard the boy speak, and his voice was raspy, as if he didn't use it much. My grip tightened on my own wand, which I knew was most likely useless.

"And you should watch yours." I replied coolly. "Since all of your fathers are Death Eaters."

There was a loud hiss from each boy. Lily looked at me wildly. I instantly regretted my words. I had been hoping for the boys to settle down and leave with the threat, but it looked like it had made them want to fight instead.

"Oh, dear." Avery drawled sarcastically. "The little blood traitor thinks she can scare us. Well, guess what, dearie? You have no idea who's really in charge. What's really going on. You really think that the Ministry can handle what the Dark Lord wants? He's got big plans, very big plans, and part of his plan involves purifying our world and putting Muggles back in their place."

"Logan!" Mulciber said sharply. "Enough."

Avery fell silent, but his dark eyes glittered malevolently as he stared at me with deep loathing. I feel goosebumps race up my spine in response.

"Let's just hex them and get on with it." Regulus suggested. I stared at him, appalled.

"You're twelve!" I exclaimed, talking to Regulus but seeing Virginia. "Go back to school and get away from these thugs. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't throw it away!"

Regulus stared at me. I remembered then that it had been he who had cast the Cruciatus Curse at me last year, and missed. My grip tightened on my wand.

"Go on, Regulus," Mulciber said quietly. "Teach that little hag a lesson about respect."

"Like you'd know anything about that." I spat.

"Stop it!" Lily said shrilly. "Or I'll-"

"What?" Avery taunted. "Talk us to death?"

"Is there a problem here?"

The six of us turned at the sound of James' voice. James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus were stopped a few feet away, watching. None of them had their wands drawn, but each looked suspicious and ready to duel. Sirius especially looked grim. His gaze pinned Regulus, who went pink and refused to look at his older brother.

"We were going to The Three Broomsticks to celebrate." James said, hazel eyes resting on each of the Slytherins then on me and Lily. "Are you two alright?"

So noble and proper in front of the enemy. I rolled my eyes. "We're fine. We were heading for the same place."

"We'll take you the rest of the way." Remus said, a muscle jerking in his cheek.

Avery and Mulciber snorted. "Good thing you two have a lot of friends." Avery sniggered as he looked between Remus and I. "Plenty of sitters to watch the pups once they're born."

Lily had reacted so fast that none of us quite knew what happened until it was over. There was an explosion of smoke and a blast of cold wind. The four Slytherins were laying on their backs, eyes closed. Mulciber was sporting a bloody nose.

James was staring at Lily in amazement. Lily tossed her hair and stowed her wand. "Multi-opponent Knockback Jinx. Should keep them out until we can at least get to the Three Broomsticks. Sev's waiting."

Sirius nudged Regulus' hand with his foot. He didn't move.

Remus gave Avery a much harder kick to the ribs. Avery groaned but stayed on the ground.

"I hope he's dead." I said, frowning.

"Me too." Remus agreed darkly. "Sadly, I don't think we can count on that."

"Honestly, boys." Lily sighed. She eyed James and Sirius balefully. "I'm not inviting you to join us, just so you know. Sev is waiting for me and Amber's my guest. We're not interested in having to put up with your snobbish ways."

James rolled his eyes. "Next time, a thanks would be just fine."

"Thanks for what?" Lily demanded. "Amber and I can handle ourselves just fine, thank you very much. We aren't damsels in distress."

"Could have fooled me." Sirius said mildly as he took care to step on Regulus' hand.

I wanted to shove him. How could he take his little brother for granted, when my own little sister was sleeping under the earth in my backyard? He still had time to save his lost brother.

"Come on." I said irritably. "Let's go."

"Oh, Amber," James called indifferently, "Congratulations."

I glanced over my shoulder. "For what?"

James tossed a roll of parchment at my feet. Suspicious, I plucked it up, gaze never leaving his.

"Just read it later." He said, striding forward with the boys in tow. Lily hustled me along. "_You're _welcome to join us, Remus." She said loudly as we outpaced them.

I felt cold, all the excitement of flying gone as we swept into Hogsmeade and into The Three Broomsticks. The pub wasn't packed to the seams, but it was loud and filled with pockets of merry diners and drinkers. Lily chose a table near the blazing fire, tossing her long hair back over her shoulder. We sat in silence, trying to digest what had just happened.

A curvy young woman with spiraling ringlets of hair bustled over. "Drinks?" She asked brusquely.

"Oh, uh…" I glanced at Lily. "You?"

"Two butterbeers." Lily requested. "You've got to have some, Amber. It's on me."

I shrugged. "If you're sure."

The woman nodded. "Sure thing. I'll be right back." She hurried off, carrying two large tankards of foaming beer to a pair of warlocks at the counter. Lily drummed her fingers on the table, glancing at me briefly.

"So." Lily said. "You're okay?"

I studied the whorls of grain in the table. "Yeah."

Lily waited.

Fuming, I smacked my hand on the table, hard. Several people jumped up, looking annoyed or frightened. Tears burned at the back of my eyes. Lily softened and handed me an embroidered handkerchief, which I used to dab at my burning eyes.

"You miss her." She said quietly.

I didn't reply. I nodded stiffly once, trying to reign in my emotions.

A figure settled in at our table. It wasn't Remus. Davey Gurgeson eased in beside us, a thick white bandage wrapped around one part of his head.

Lily and I glanced at each other, unsure of what to say.

"Hi," Davey said at last, sounding embarrassed. His exposed eye was light blue and wouldn't look at either of us directly. He cleared his throat. "You remember me, right?"

"I do." I said cautiously.

"How are you feeling, Davey?" Lily asked kindly.

Davey shrugged, touching the bandages. "Madam Pomfrey says I can get these taken off next week. She says my eye will be fine."

"That's good." I said.

An uncomfortable silence settled at the table. The bartender returned with two golden glasses of butterbeer. She smiled down at Davey. "Anything for you, pumpkin?"

"No, thanks." Davey said. He watched her go. "Madam Rosmerta's a nice lady."

"Nice curves, you mean." James Potter said rudely, passing by our table.

Davey turned scarlet. Lily rolled her eyes in disgust. I sipped my butterbeer, watching James and the three other Marauders choose a table not far from ours.

"What can I do for you, Davey?" Lily said, wrenching her scornful gaze from James.

Davey tapped his fingers on the table. "I just wanted to say, you know, thanks. For trying to stop me and then helping me to the infirmary. It could have been a lot worse."

"Don't mention it." I said quietly, aware that James and Sirius were watching me. They weren't laughing, but I could tell there were things they wanted to say that wouldn't help bolster their credentials as gentlemen.

The silence stretched. Then Davey blurted out, "Would you want to go to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop with me?"

I blinked, sure I'd heard him wrong. "I'm sorry, what?"

Davey was even redder. He wouldn't look at me directly. He tried again. "Would you… would you want to go with me? To the tea shop."

Now it was my turn to turn red. I stared at him, then Lily, who wore a triumphant smirk that said _I told you so_.

At that moment, Remus chose to move to our table and settle in beside me. Before I could say or do anything, he gave my cheek a peck and said, "I'm really proud of you, Amber. You did great today."

Then he left.

I blinked several times, clapping my hand to my cheek. It felt warm where his lips had made contact. Davey looked like he'd just seen the Whomping Willow running for him.

"I didn't know… sorry." He got up. "If you… well… see you in class."

He disappeared.

Lily burst out laughing. I gulped down several mouthfuls of butterbeer, trying to process what had just happened.

"I told you!" Lily crowed. "I told you! Boys do like you, Amber. You just have to open your eyes!"

"No… what just _happened_?" I spluttered.

Lily tapped her willow wand against my wrist. "Hello? You're a knockout, babe. All that long blond hair and those warm brown eyes? No wonder Sean and Remus are completely gaga over you. And now Davey."

I shut my eyes and rubbed my face in my hands. "All I want to do is get good grades, play Quidditch, and stay out of Azkaban. Is that so much to ask for?"

Lily's green eyes sparkled mischievously. "Yes."

I groaned and planted my face on the table.

"Poor thing." Lily simpered. "By the way, mind if I read that letter James gave you?"

"Go ahead." I muttered, mortified that maybe James had decided to ask me out too. I wanted to gag at the thought.

Judging by the sound of crinkling parchment, Lily had gone ahead and opened the letter. She was quiet for a few moments, then whistled.

"What?" I said, hardly daring to lift my head an inch to look at her beadily. "What is it?"

Lily put down the letter and gave me a fixed look that made my heart race in fear. "What?" I repeated, sitting up. "Is something wrong?"

Lily shrugged. "Professor Flitwick wants you to come to his office to talk about your subjects. You're passing everything with excellent grades, except for Potions. Still, he wants to have a word."

"About what?"

Lily grinned. "Gifted-and-Talented level. Congratulations, Amber."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. Is that all?" I felt giddy knowing it wasn't anything remotely serious.

Lily scanned the bottom of the letter again, her face going slack. "Well, there is _one _more thing. It's a parent-teacher conference."

I bolted out of my seat, gripped by sudden panic. "My _parents_? My parents are coming?"

Lily raised her brow. "Generally, that _is _what parent-teacher conference means. What's the issue?"

Every happy thought about Quidditch, every fear concerning those Slytherin thugs, every confused and conflicted sensation about boys vanished like morning mist in burning sunlight. I felt panic bubble like lava inside, driving away the sweet taste of butterbeer with the acrid tang of bile.

"Amber, honestly!" Lily said in dismay. "Calm down. It's just your parents."

"Yes, and they're _my _parents." My dad, who had never told me about his Quidditch prowess and legacy. Who spent more of his time at work deep in the Ministry of Magic than he did at home with his family. My mother, who had never been faintly impressed by anything I had done. Who spent the vast majority of her life caring for my middle sister who had died anyway, because of me.

My _mother _was coming. To Hogwarts. To talk about me.

I ran screaming from The Three Broomsticks.


	39. Ravenclaw vs Hufflepuff

By the time I had run to the Shrieking Shack and barricaded myself inside, I was crying. I sat down on an ancient stuffed chair that sighed a puff of dust as I let my body drop into it. I buried my head in my hands and dug my fingers into my scalp.

Mum was coming here. To Hogwarts.

I wasn't sure which I dreaded more: the idea of Folsom or Mum coming to speak with me.

I lifted my head and watched little motes of dust spin and orbit through the stale air. The house had been vacant for decades. The only ones who used it were Remus and the other Marauders. I drew my wand with a shaky hand and tried to focus on how I felt when I had caught the Quaffle just an hour ago.

"_Expecto Patronum." _Nothing.

Gripping the wand tighter, I thought of something that had made my blood hotter than Quidditch had: Remus kissing my cheek. "_Expecto Patronum._"

A cloud of silver mist billowed out from the wand. Excited, I focused on the recent memory more intensely, but within a moment, the smoke was fading back into darkness. I sat there in the chill dim, listening to the sound of my breathing breaking the silence.

_Gifted and Talented_. How could it be? I knew I was good with magic, but Potions clearly contradicted the fact that I could do well with any course. It was by far my hardest subject. I liked being able to harness my creativity, perhaps the reason why I was so adept with Charms and spells and not by-the-book Potions.

_Potions_. There was no way to expand upon the material. Everything had to be precisely and exactly executed in a mechanic order. There was no freedom to explore. Stick to the recipe. That was why I did so horribly with the subject.

But even worse was the fact that my wand just wasn't cooperating anymore. I was still a witch, but maybe that would change with time, too. I could hardly cast a spell without it backfiring or failing to do so at all. It had been pure luck that I had made so far this year with my ailing wand. Most of the classes had been based upon reading and lecture time, not spellwork.

Maybe it was time to see Professor Smith, before the wand stopped working completely.

I listened carefully in the dusty light of the derelict house, but there was nothing to accompany me but my own feeble wand. Sighing, I rose to my feet and exited through the tunnel that I had discovered back in my first year and learned the truth about Remus. Now that my blood had cooled and I had stopped shaking, it was easier to process thoughts and see them more clearly.

_Wait. _

I was _alone_. With a wand that would no longer do my bidding. I shivered as I thought of Folsom, working for Voldemort, bearing a grudge against me. What if he knew I was here, now, unprotected and vulnerable?

I hastened down the dark earthen tunnel. It was tall enough that I didn't have to bend or stoop to pass through it. Ten tense minutes went by before I exited underneath the Whomping Willow. I pressed a small knot near the roots. The swaying tree froze. I glanced each direction before hurrying out from under the monster and making my way across the deserted grounds and into the castle.

Since it was a Saturday, most students were outside enjoying the brisk fall day. I recognized several of them since they had attended the tryouts for this year's Quidditch teams. I hurried to get away from prying eyes. In the library, I settled in among stacks of books.

_Gifted and Talented. _I shut my eyes and buried my face in my hands again. How could this have happened?

I knew I should be feeling excited, grateful, proud. But the only emotion running through me was dread.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon hiding in the library, losing myself in the endless volumes of knowledge. I studied the theory behind third-year Potions and found myself near-tears in frustration. I shoved the unhelpful book away, to the furious look of Madam Pince, the vulture-like librarian who skulked through the shelves, always supervising her precious books. I ignored her and stayed hidden inside of the library until the tantalizing scents drifting in from the kitchen drove me to leave. I settled in at the Ravenclaw table, back firmly turned to James Potter and Sirius Black. A moment later, Lily and Remus perched themselves next to me.

"Where have you been?" Lily demanded. "I was worried sick! You just flew out of the Three Broomsticks like you were on fire… are you alright?"

I glared down at my unassuming bowl of barley and mushroom soup. "I'm fine."

"What happened?" Remus asked gently.

Lily handed him the offending letter. When Remus was finished reading it, he grimaced.

"You and your mother still aren't on good terms, are you?" He asked.

Tears blurred my vision. Instead of speaking, I picked up my spoon and took several bites of the hot soup.

"You're crying." Lily said softly.

"The soup is hot." I said defensively. "I burnt my tongue."

I pretended not to see them exchange a look. "Look, I'm fine guys, really. It's just not something I expected."

"It sounds like you don't even want to be in the Gifted and Talented program." Remus observed.

I set my spoon down. "No, I don't. Not if it means I won't be with you."

Lily sighed and took a bite from a buttered roll. "You won't, Amber. You'll still see us in class. Remus and I have been extended the same invitation."

I glanced up. "You have?"

Lily smiled. "Of course. We're the top three students, academically."

I shrugged. "Still. What's wrong with being mainstreamed? Is there a reason why we need extra work?"

"To help us." Lily said. "We need the extra challenge, I guess."

I stared down in the depths of the savory brown stew. I could picture the rest of my life at Hogwarts in the surface. No more free time to be with the Marauders or play Quidditch. Mum and Dad, even if they were proud now (and I knew Mum wasn't), would soon find something else to be disappointed about. All Gifted and Talented would do for me would be to make my life harder than it already was. I liked having free time. I liked playing Quidditch with Sean, reading in the library, and even enjoyed spending hours sneaking through the halls and grounds with the Gryffindor boys.

And, couldn't I use the extra time to practice my homework? Why did I have to take on an even bigger load?

"I don't want it." I said firmly. "I'm rejecting it."

"You can't!" Lily said in a scandalized tone. "Your academic record shows you've got the brains and skills. You're qualified."

"I don't want it." I said stubbornly. "I like where I am just fine."

Remus ladled a portion of the stew for himself and added a few slices of beef shank. "I think you should do what's best for you."

Lily looked outraged. "She's got a huge opportunity, Remus!" She cried. "This would look incredible on her resume for the rest of her life. You'd be better prepared for O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S. Don't throw this away, Amber."

"If you like it so much, then _you _take it." I snapped, my short temper reaching its end. "I'm not going to waste my life trying to please people, especially not my parents." Meaning Mum.

Lily looked at Remus for help. But he shrugged and ate his soup.

"If Amber wants to stay where she is, then let her. They'll try to have you switch up to it every year if your grades keep up."

"Oh, I don't believe this." Lily hissed, tugging angrily on a tendril of ginger hair. "I figured you'd of all people would support me in this, Remus."

"I support the best course of action." Remus said cryptically. "You don't know how Amber feels. Let her make her own decisions."

"Would you two _please _stop talking about me as if I'm not here?" I snarled. I tore off a hunk of sourdough bread and swallowed. It stuck in my throat. I washed it down with a deep swig of unsweetened iced tea.

"You're really okay with this." Lily said, sounding slightly disgusted. "Amber…"

"Just drop it, alright?" I grumbled. "I don't want to have to deal with you two debating about my future with my parents doing it for me already. Look how well that turned out."

An awkward silence settled like a cloud of dust around us. Remus cleared his throat and looked genially down the table toward Anna Noyes. "Looks like she's about to post the Quidditch team roster."

I stared at Anna. Sure enough, she was scrawling down what looked like names on her slip of parchment. She took a thoughtful sip of tea and carried it to Professor Flitwick, who was seated at the staff table.

In spite of myself, I trembled with excitement. What if she had picked me? What if I was going to be on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team?

"I hope you got it, Amber." Lily said after a moment, clearly trying to make up for our disagreement. "You really did do very well today."

"I suppose." I agreed, trying to catch Anna's eye before she sat down. When I did, she gave me an enigmatic look. There was no way to tell if I'd made it or not.

"Well, I'd better be off." Remus said quietly, glancing outside at the sinking sun. "It's nearly evening."

Lily looked at him in question. "Are you feeling alright, Remus? You do look a bit peaky."

"You really should go." I urged, noticing the telltale trembling in his limbs. "Come on, I'll take you."

Madam Pomfrey was already waiting at the entrance to the Great Hall. Remus shook his head and drained the rest of his soup. "No, no. I'd better go alone. You did brilliantly today, Amber. I know you'll make the right choice for yourself." He gave me a wan smile and hurried out of the Great Hall. I watched Madam Pomfrey speak unheard words to him and usher him away.

"What was _that _all about?" Lily asked incredulously. "He's sick quite a lot, isn't he?"

I turned back to my stew, thinking about how much suffering Remus would be in for tonight once the full moon rose into the sky. "Yeah." I said quietly. "I guess he is."

Lily followed me out of the Hall ten minutes later and halted in front of the door. A grin spread across her face. "Well, I guess you've gotten something you wanted after all."

"What?" I said, following her gaze. Posted on the side of the double doors was a large piece of parchment. It was the roster for the new Quidditch players.

I had been made Chaser for the Ravenclaw team.

* * *

My days were quickly consumed with classes, homework, Quidditch, and after-hours escapades with the other Marauders. Remus, Lily, and I especially became increasingly entombed in the library, encouraging each other to finish homework and creating a competition between the three of us to see who was the most knowledgeable about our subjects.

My wand had stopped working. It was like it had gone into deep hibernation, or died.

Adding to my troubles, Flitwick's appointment came with surprising speed. After two months on the Quidditch team, we had yet to play our first match. Anna had us practice five times a week, but even then, I still felt outskilled by the rest of my team. Our first match was scheduled on November the 21st, the same day I was to meet with Flitwick and my parents.

I had seldom felt sicker in my life.

"Look at you." Lily fussed over breakfast on the dreaded day. "You haven't slept, have you? When was the last time you ate?"

I stared at the condensation collecting on the side of my glass of water. Her words swam to me, fuzzy and not registering in my brain.

"Amber. Amber!" Lily said, tapping my wrist assertively. "Earth to Amber, hello?"

"Huh?" I said, blinking.

"Don't bother." Angelina said disapprovingly, coming to sit next to us. "She hasn't slept in three days."

Lily's face fell. "Amber!" She said in shocked tones. "Is that true?"

I didn't meet her gaze. Even the smell of food was making me nauseated.

"She hasn't eaten all day either." Angelina reported. I threw her a nasty look.

"Thanks for sharing that." I growled. I started to get up from the table, but Lily caught me by the forearm.

"You _have _to eat something, Amber." She insisted. "Come on. Sourdough bread, an egg sandwich?"

The knowledge that my parents were coming to Hogwarts made my stomach squirm. I shut my burning eyes, aching from lack of sleep. I had tried to sleep, but I couldn't make my spinning mind pause from its constant stream of possibilities. What would Mum do? Would Dad be disappointed in me? There was no way he could be pleased about my Quidditch skills. He would have told me about his own prowess if wanted anything to do with the sport.

And we were playing Hufflepuff today. His old team.

"I need to go." I said abruptly, rising. Lily protested. "Please, Amber, really. Eat something."

"I don't want to, Lily!" I snapped. I wrenched my arm away from her anchoring grasp. "I just want to be alone before I make a complete fool of myself before the entire school."

"So dramatic." Angelina muttered. I shot her a dark look.

"That's funny," I said dryly, "coming from the girl who egged Davey on to get his eye ripped out by the Whomping Willow."

Angelina's jaw dropped. "You're such a jerk, Amber! No wonder Remus doesn't like you."

My temper flared. I raised my hand to strike her. A stronger hand caught it. I glanced over, surprised. Remus was eyeing me with an arched brow.

"I happen to like her very much." Remus said carefully. Lily looked furious. Angelina's face had bloomed with color.

"I didn't mean… she's just so _mean_, Remus!" Angelina tried.

Remus ignored her, his green eyes boring into me. "Come on. I want to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to _anyone_." I said harshly, trying to rip my arm away. But Remus was stronger than he looked and didn't relent.

"Come on." He led me forcefully out of the Hall and down a flight of stairs. He led me straight outside. I rolled my eyes. "You can let go now. I'm not going to run away. I promise."

Remus didn't look convinced. "Not yet."

He didn't let go until we reached a beech tree situated on the edge of the lake. The sky was mostly gray, punctuated by wispy spaces of blue sky. A chill wind blew off the water's surface. I folded my arms and looked at him haughtily.

Remus handed me a block of dark chocolate. In spite of myself, my mouth watered.

"What's going on?" He prompted. "You haven't been yourself all year and now you're much worse than usual."

I gave him a sour look. "Unlike Angelina and Zoey, I don't spend hours pampering and preening myself trying to get boys to notice me. I just want to get through school."

"'Get through'." Remus echoed, not saying anything as I broke off a piece of chocolate and ate. It tasted like manna from Heaven. I took another bite.

"I have enough going on in my life without having to worry about what people think of me." I began to pace. "My wand hasn't worked for me in over a month. I mean it's completely _stopped _working. The only reason I'm passing my classes is because I ace the written portions. I can't even produce a simple Shield Charm anymore, and that was a snap for me before! I could do it as a first year."

Remus pulled out a bottle of water from his robes. He handed it to me. I took a long pull and a deep breath.

"You're nervous about Quidditch, aren't you?" Remus probed.

I threw my hands in the air. "Yes, of course I am! My parents will be here by six-thirty tonight for a parent-teacher conference. I didn't ask to be in Gifted and Talented. I don't want to be. I'm stressed about school, about Quidditch, about my parents, and now, I've got my blasted wand to worry about!" I withdrew it from my belt and hurled it away from me. "It's not even a wand anymore. It's a useless _stick_!"

I hadn't noticed the stream of tears slipping down my cheeks. I did now, now that most of my steam was gone. Embarrassed, I sniffled and wiped my eyes with the backs of my sleeves. I didn't meet Remus' eyes.

"I guess I'm just _tired_." I said quietly, gazing out upon the gently rippling lake. "I'm so tired, Remus. I miss my sister. I miss how things used to be. And yet… I don't. I'm happier here without Mum or Dad intoxicating my life. I'm happier here, with you and Lily. And the others." I stole a look at him now through a sheen of fresh tears. "Do you think I'm going crazy?"

Remus was looking back at me with a sad expression. I saw no judgment there, only compassion. A fresh wave of emotion rolled through me. I bit my lip hard to keep myself from bursting out into ugly sobs.

"I think you've been trying to hold up too much weight for too long." Remus said at last. He walked over to a spot ten feet away where my discarded wand had landed. He picked it up reverently. He brought it back to me, standing just inches apart. He smelled like cinnamon and the bar of Honeyduke's Chocolate in his hand. He placed the wand gently back into my hand. I sniffled hard again, unable to meet his gaze.

"I think," Remus said, offering me another piece of chocolate, which I took gratefully, "you need to lessen your load."

"What do you mean? You think I should give some things up?"

Remus nodded. "You can't keep on like this, Amber. It's eating you alive. How can you do this for another four years? It's only going to get more intense from here with our subjects."

I looked away. He was right. But I didn't want to give anything up. I loved Quidditch. I loved learning. And as much grief as they caused, I did love my family.

"I just want everyone to stop expecting so much from me." I admitted. I thought fleetingly of Virginia. How could anyone think anything of me, if they knew that I was the reason why she was gone?

It was a secret I would carry to my grave.

Remus searched my face intently. "There's something else. Something deeper. What happened to you, Amber? You weren't like this in our first year."

"What do you mean?" I said cautiously, afraid he'd seen my deepest secret displayed across my face.

Remus sighed and handed me another piece of chocolate. "You've always been funny, smart, and sarcastic. Witty. You don't take crap from anyone. You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met." His eyes flickered. "But it's like a part of you died or something, after your sister did."

Fresh tears blurred my vision, and I had to bit my lip hard to keep from losing my composure. No one talked about Virginia. It was as if we pretended she had never existed. She was a forbidden subject. But for some reason, I didn't mind Remus talking about it.

"It's my fault." I whispered quietly, so that he couldn't hear me, hot shame burning from head to toe as I said it.

Remus shook his head. "Listen, you need to take care of yourself. You're falling apart, Amber. I'm really worried about you. Lily is too."

"I know." I murmured, clenching my hands so he couldn't see them shaking. "I know."

Remus sighed. His green eyes were probing, but I forced myself not to give way to my roiling emotions.

"Go talk to Professor Smith about your wand. She's very knowledgeable about magic. Maybe she can help."

I stowed my wand back into my belt. "Maybe I need a replacement." The thought made a pang of loss twist in my gut. Useless or not, it was still my first wand. It would be like giving way a pet.

Remus watched me pry apart a beech nut. "Maybe you do. What you _do _need is to take care of yourself. Don't take advanced level classes if you're already having too much to worry about."

I wrenched a second nut apart. "What about things I can't fix?"

Remus took the nut from my hands. "Don't worry about your parents. You'll be just fine. Hold your ground. In the end, they'll realize you're not a little girl anymore. You can make decisions for yourself without their approval. We're growing up. It's something we've got to learn how to do."

I avoided his gaze. "You'll watch the match?"

Remus smiled. "Of course. Even if James and Sirius give me grief about supporting Ravenclaw over Gryffindor. Just don't tell them. Now, I'll take you back to the castle, but only if you promise you won't hurt Angelina."

I gave him a sheepish grin. "No promises."

Remus looked amused. "I mean it. Come on, Grumpy, you need to take a nap. You'll need your strength for your first Quidditch match."

We walked back to the castle in tandem. Even though my feet were still on the ground, the match still hours away, I felt lighter than I had in weeks.

* * *

I felt like I had just closed my eyes when someone was shaking me awake. I blinked wearily and found myself staring up into the angular face of Anna Noyes.

"Get up!" She said urgently. "The match starts in half an hour."

The familiar jolt of panic rattled me and drove away the grogginess. I sat up quickly. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Since after breakfast. It's almost five. You'd better get out of bed and get ready. Come on."

I hustled to get out of my bed. It had felt like laying on a flat, iron board for the past three nights, uncomfortable and unable to give me peace. But after Remus had convinced me to take a nap, it felt like the softest mattress in the world, the heavy feather-stuffed quilt beckoning me back into its warm depths.

"Come _on_." Anna said, sounding annoyed, as she threw my blue Quidditch robes at me. "Get changed and meet me in the lockers on the field. Don't forget your broom."

She bustled off. I changed quickly in the bathroom, scrubbing my sour-tasting mouth with mint paste and downing a glass of icy water before splashing my face. I hadn't bothered to look at my reflection in a while. I dared to peek now.

My hair hung down in wild lengths, like a lion's mane. My oval-shaped face was pale like a sheet, disturbing dark circles ringing my dull brown eyes. Even my lips, normally red and full, were wrinkly-looking and grayish-pink.

I pinched my cheeks hard, bringing pink color back into them. I quickly scrunched my tangles of blonde hair back into a ponytail. I scrutinized my haphazard appearance, quickly giving up. If I had the time or inclination, I could have had Lily do makeup for me or fix my hair. But there wasn't any time left. Besides, it was a Quidditch match. No one would be looking at my face. Or at me, for that matter.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I grabbed my Silver Arrow from the side of my bed and hurried down to the lockers. It was a long way and by the time I'd reached it, my legs were cramping and I was out of breath. The other members of the team, Sebastian Smethley, Artemis Powell, Anna Noyes, Ceres Amorin, Nemo Stevens, and Kirkley Switch, were all staring at me as I fought to catch my breath.

"Have a good nap?" Nemo asked, smirking. There was no animosity in his tone, only amusement. I was the youngest player by several years. I was also the only new player to the team, aside from Artemis Powell, the sixth-year Chaser.

"Now that we're all here..." Anna said airily, and I realized with a hot rush of embarrassment that she must have had to come fetch me when I didn't show up like the others, "I wanted to give a quick overlay of our strategy. Hufflepuff's good, but not as good as they were twenty years ago." Her gaze touched on me briefly before looking away. "Locke's the best Seeker in the school. Yes, he is, Ceres, and you know it."

"Potter's the best _Chaser_ Hogwarts has got." Ceres retorted lightly, flexing a gloved hand on his broomstick. I glared at him. Artemis and Anna shared the same look of disdain. Anna sighed and brushed her long sweep of raven-black hair back over her shoulder.

"We're not here to bring each other down." She said firmly. "I'm not trying to make us sound weak. We _do_ need to acknowledge the strength of our opponents, and that's why I need my team to work together, not pull apart."

Ceres shrugged, indifferent.

"I need us to get that Snitch quickly, as quick as possible." Anna announced. "Ceres, we know you're a great Seeker, but Sean is almost as good as Walter Harkstone was. Be on your game. Get that Snitch and get it first, but _only _after we've scored at least a ten point margin ahead of them. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." Ceres said shiftily, looking determined. Anna looked at Artemis, Nemo, and I next. Her gaze lingered on me. "No fancy tricks, no showing off. We want to have fun, but we also want to win. Understood?"

The six of us nodded in silent agreement. Anna peeked through the thick fabric of the stands. She grimaced. "Be careful, guys. The crowd's ready for some dirty antics."

I gulped, trying to steady my already-frayed nerves. It didn't work.

Five minutes passed by in agonizing slowness. Then Anna signaled to us and led the way out into the arena.

The sound was deafening. Tryouts, which seemed like a lifetime ago, had been child's play compared to this. A third of the school had turned out for those. But now, it seemed like the entire Hogwarts population (and a few Hogsmeade villagers) had decided to come see the first Quidditch match of the season.

At the sight and sound of so many in the stands, my legs turned to lead. The familiar panicky feeling thrilled me from head to foot. My hands were clammy on the shaft of my Silver Arrow. My mouth went dry as Anna led us confidently out into the middle of the pitch. The Hufflepuffs were making their way across the field. Sean Locke was front and center, striding across magnificently in his yellow and black robes. He looked at me and grinned handsomely, waving. Blushing, I turned away.

Madam Hooch was standing with a large wooden crate at her feet. "Captains, shake hands."

Anna and Sean did. Anna looked pink the face afterwards. Squelching down a twinge of jealousy, I copied my teammates and mounted my broom. Madam Hooch blew her shrill whistle. In a flash of movement, the others were off in the air. My nerves made me so shaky that for a moment, my legs buckled when I tried to push off from the ground. I took a deep breath and forced myself up. Miraculously, I lifted. High into the air, I was able to look down in the gathering darkness at the sea of faces. I spotted Lily seated next to Remus, who was sitting next to, Sirius and Peter. To my great annoyance, Angelina and Zoey were right behind Remus.

"Don't let your nerves steal your head!" Sean called as he zoomed past me. Ignoring him, I hovered near Nemo Stevens and tried my best to remember our practices. It was hard to focus with the roar of the crowd and the flood of dizzying nerves flooding through my body.

"And they're off!" An annoyingly familiar voice called. I looked down into the stands again and felt my stomach plummet.

James Potter was doing the commentary.

Professor Smith was standing watchfully beside James with a stern expression on her face. Clearly, she wasn't going to let him get too carried away with his position.

"It looks like the Beaters are having some fun scattering the teams." James said, just as a Bludger screamed by, dangerously close to my ear. Kirkley and Nemo were whacking them back towards Hufflepuff with vicious vengeance. Ceres' clever eyes were already surveying the pitch, looking for the evasive little Snitch.

"Harkstone, catch!" Artemis called as she tossed the Quaffle in mid-air. I snatched for it, but wasn't quick enough. Like a yellow bullet, Sophie Daniels, a Hufflepuff Chaser, intercepted. The sea of blue-clad supports groaned. I felt hot embarrassment wash over me.

"Come on, Harkstone!" Anna urged. "You need to be quicker!"

"You're doing great!" Sean said enthusiastically as he blew past. "Keep it up!"

He wasn't being sarcastic. Gritting my teeth, I plowed after Daniels.

"Looks like Harkstone is in pursuit of Daniels!" Potter said. "She's dived in front of her. Daniels tries to pass to Levine, but Powell catches it! Powell goes for the goal… but it's a no-go! Kensley Horn's just too good of a Keeper. He throws it back to Levine, Levine's going for the other end, but here comes a bludger hit by Switch. Levine passes to Daniels, who passes to Wachowski… blimey! Look out!"

A ball of fire had just launched itself into the air, right at the crowd of Chasers. All of us scattered. Wachowski had dodged the flames, but the Quaffle was now dropping like a stone towards the ground.

"Interference!" Professor Smith cried, pointing towards the Slytherins, who were now cheering and catcalling. "Mr. Filch, if you'd please apprehend Mr. Avery and Mr. Mulciber and escort them to the dungeons, thank you very much!"

I didn't look down into the stands to see them walked off. I was closest to the Quaffle, but was I fast enough? I urged the Silver Arrow on.

"Look at Harkstone go!" James said excitedly, sounding surprised. "But can she catch the Quaffle? Yes, yes, she's got it! She's trying to get past Daniels now."

The white-blond Hufflepuff was edging closer. She wasn't ramming into me, but she looked like she would consider it if I didn't drop the ball soon. I ducked down and sped toward the post. Kensley Horn circled his posts.

"Harkstone approaches the posts… can she get it in the hoops? She shoots, and Horn catches it."

Another moan from the Ravenclaws. Anna shot by. "Just pass it to me and Artemis!" She ordered.

Flushed, I held my broomstick tightly.

"And Horn passes it to Daniels again. She's going for Sebastian Smethley, no, she passes to Wachowski… he scores! Ten points for Hufflepuff!"

Wild cheering erupted from the yellow-clad Huffepuffs below. I ignored their jubilation and focused instead on getting the Quaffle back to my more-experienced teammates.

"The Quaffle is taken by Levine!" James said excitedly. "He and Daniels are protecting each other, but nice bludger hit from Stevens. Oh, ouch! Not quick enough!"

Levine took a bludger right into the arm. He gasped in pain and let the Quaffle drop. Artemis snatched it up and raced to the post, sending it through. She and Anna did this another four times, and soon we were in the lead by forty points.

"Still no sign of the Snitch!" James called loudly. "Only ten minutes into the game, so there's still plenty of time, but not much daylight left!"

At his words, huge torches burned alight at each spire of the stands. It gave off illumination and warmth. Vision improved, I caught the Quaffle from Artemis and passed to Anna, who lost it to Levine.

"And Hufflepuff scores!" James said. "And again! Girls, what's going on out there? Having a beauty contest?"

"Potter!" Professor Smith said crossly.

The game continued for another vigorous ten minutes. Soon, we were in the lead, 170 to 20. Artemis and Anna were ruthless, but it was Smethley who was the real champion. He blocked every shot from Hufflepuff except for the two that passed through.

Nearly a half hour into the game, I was feeling dizzy with the combination of nerves and excitement. A strange foreboding feeling tickled the back of my neck. I shook my head to clear it, trying to focus on the game. But my eye had caught something down in the stands. I squinted, hardly daring to believe what my eyes were telling my brain. I recognized those glasses, that long, blown-straight blonde hair…

Was that Folsom in the stands, mingled among the Slytherins?

"Amber!" Anna yelled, looking slightly panicky. "Wake up! Snap out of it! We're going to lose if you don't pull your weight!"

I blinked hard. No, it wasn't Folsom. It was someone else who looked far too much like they were related to me.

I felt something hit me hard in the chest. Gasping, I looked down, surprised to see the red Quaffle in my arms.

"Go!" Anna screamed as a Bludger smacked her in the side.

"And she's off!" James roared into his wand. "You'd better go fast, Harkstone, or Locke's going to steal the match!"

Sure enough, Sean had spotted the Snitch. Ceres was jockeying to catch up, but it looked futile. In a few seconds, Sean was going to catch the Snitch and win the game.

I knew what I had to do, and I knew how close I was going to cut it. Tucking the Quaffle under one arm, I pressed as close to the broomstick as possible and shot forward.

Kensley Horn swooped, eyes bright with focus. I feinted, speeding at full force toward the center hoop. Horn spread his limbs wide, blocking the hoop.

I threw the Quaffle with all my might into the left hoop.

A second later, a huge cheer went up from the yellow-clad Hufflepuffs. I wheeled around, palms sweaty, heart pounding in my head, and faced the rest of the players. Sean was floating gently in the air, his fist clenched around what could only be the Snitch.

"Locke has caught the Snitch! Locke's got the Snitch!" James said exuberantly. "Hufflepuff's won the match!"

"Wait just a minute!" Artemis Powell shouted, trying to be heard of the wild din of the crowd. "Amber scored! She scored! Hey!"

Hardly anyone seemed to notice. I chewed my lip. "It doesn't matter." I said hurriedly, not wanting to cause trouble. "Artemis-"

But she had flown straight to Anna. Anna frowned, then gasped. She rushed to Madam Hooch, who checked the self-counting scoreboard herself.

Hufflepuff: 170. Ravenclaw: 180.

We had won.

"Wait, wait!" James roared over the crowd. "It looks like… Merlin's beard… the actual winner is _Ravenclaw_!"

Stunned silence from the sea of yellow students. Then a huge cacophony of jubilation and belated victory from the Ravenclaws. I stole a glance at James, who looked like he was fighting very hard not to look impressed.

I landed hastily on the ground, following the lead of the other players, still shaking with the power of adrenaline. A second later, I was slammed into from all sides by the rest of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team.

"I knew it, I knew it!" Anna shrieked, looking overjoyed. "I knew you were just like your father! You did it, Amber! You won us the match!"

I swallowed hard, dizzy. Slowly, like a jet engine turbine gathering momentum, the dread and fear was being replaced by realization and pride.

I had scored the last ten points, the only ten points I'd managed to earn. It was only ten points, but it had decided who the victors were.

I grinned sheepishly as the rest of the team crushed me. After a minute, the Hufflepuff players walked over bravely. Most of them looked impressed, though miffed that they had lost the match just when they'd thought they had won. Sean strode over like he was Ravenclaw's Captain and pounded me on the back.

"Excellent, excellent!" He shouted over the cheering. "Knew you had it in you, Harkstone!"

I allowed Sean to hug me. After all, if it hadn't been for his lessons and our practices, I wouldn't have known the difference between a Quaffle and the Snitch. "Thanks, Sean. I owe you one."

His eyes were twinkling. "You bet you do, Harkstone."

I was about to turn and leave the field when I heard a male voice rumble, "Owe me what?"

There were several gasps of recognition, mine included. I revolved slowly on the spot, staring at my father. He smiled down, looking younger than I'd ever seen him.

"Hi, Dad." I managed, not sure if I should be happy or scared.

Both teams were gawking at my father, especially the Hufflepuffs, who could claim him as their alumnus. But he only had eyes for me. He crossed the space between us and enveloped me in a tight embrace.

"I couldn't be more proud of you, daughter." He whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes against the rising tide of emotion.

If only my wand worked… if only Folsom really had been in the stands. In that moment, I felt as if I could have produced a corporeal Patronus.

"Come on," Dad said brightly. "Your mother's waiting in the stands."

And just like that, the good feeling was gone.


	40. He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I stared up at my father, sure I had heard him wrong. "Sorry, what did you say?" I managed against the ringing in my ears.

Dad's smile flickered. "Your mother. She's here with me. Naomi is too."

I felt a slight sense of relief. If my sister was here, it meant that Mum wouldn't completely flip her lid. She wouldn't let her youngest child see that side of her. I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Alright." I said grimly, feeling as if I was about to face a firebreathing dragon, "let's go."

"You want to change first?" Anna said. "Make sure you don't take too long, we'll be having a party in the Ravenclaw Common Room!"

But I hardly registered what Anna said. As long as I could avoid Mum, I would take the opportunity.

"Yeah," I said slowly, "yeah, I think I'll wash up and change first. I'll see you and Mum in Professor Flitwick's office."

Dad looked slightly put-out, but nodded once, smiling. "Alright, love. Really proud of you, excellent, excellent job."

"Mr. Harkstone," Ryan Levine said breathlessly, holding his injured arm, "is there any way I could get an autograph?"

"Me too!" Sophie Daniels gushed, her eyes sparkling with adoration. I rolled my eyes and left the field with the others in tow.

I could hear my teammates excitedly gabbering over how the match had gone. Anna kept bragging to the others how she'd known I'd be a good addition, even though she had asked me not to try to score and only pass it off to her or Artemis. In the showers, I let the hot water rush over my skin and unknot the tense muscles. I rubbed soap into my skin and washed my hair. I took my time combing out the lengths of honey-colored hair when I was finished, gazing at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks were warm and flushed, the brown eyes no longer dull or glassy, but now filled with bright alertness and trepidation.

Mum was here. Oh, what was I going to do? How was I going to face her after our last disastrous encounter? We hadn't spoken since.

I set the comb down and scrubbed it with the damp towel to help it dry faster. A house elf had left a stack of my clothes for me in my designated cubby. I dressed in solitude and gave myself a final appraising look. Not bad, but certainly not worthy of attending a dance like the birthday ball approaching in December.

I bit my lip and left the steamy locker room, stomach already knotting with fresh tension. I climbed the moving staircases up to the seventh floor, palms already slick with sweat. I squared my shoulders at the door and knocked three times.

"Come in!" A squeaky voice intoned. I turned the brass knob and entered.

I had been in Professor Flitwick's office once before, and it hadn't changed at all in the time since. A handsome desk and bookcase glistened in the candlelight. On the desk was a tin filled with cookies. Portraits of various Charms and wizards hung on the wall, including a picture of beautiful, tall woman with a cascade of long red hair and her very short husband, who had pointed ears and a scruffy black beard. In her arms, she held a small child who could only be Professor Flitwick in his youth.

Seated at the desk were my parents.

Swallowing hard, I walked deeper into the office. I kept my chin lifted a notch. My mother and father both turned to look at me.

"Welcome, welcome, Miss Harkstone!" Professor Flitwick said merrily. "Please, sit and have a biscuit or two!"

I didn't look at either of my parents. I took a seat carefully, on the wall next to Dad and Professor Flitwick. I took a single white, round cookie with a bright red cherry in the center and bit into it slowly, grateful to have something to do.

"Well, I am very pleased to have you both here." Professor Flitwick said enthusiastically to my parents. "As you very well know, your daughter has shown exceptional skill with many of her subjects here at Hogwarts."

"Where's Naomi?" I interrupted quietly, meeting Mum's piercing blue gaze for the first time. She wasn't smiling.

"Your youngest sister was snatched up by a group of Hufflepuff girls." Professor Flitwick said happily, chuckling. "Yes, it seems that many of them want to make her their new mascot. Naomi, isn't it? She is quite a little button. Yes, yes, she is in good care for the time being."

"Very well." I said gravely, taking another bite of my cookie.

"As I was saying!" Flitwick plowed in proudly, "Miss Harkstone has demonstrated greater skill than most of our students. We value every child who attends our school, and we also must cater to those who have a greater appetite for the arts." He beamed. "Which is why we would like to have your daughter enter into our prestigious Gifted and Talented program we offer here at Hogwarts."

I listened to Flitwick delve into the details about the program. I had already heard about them before and still found no appetite to take on more hard work than I needed.

Remus was right. I had to do what was best for myself.

"So, I take it this will be the first time you three have discussed this together?" Flitwick said, smiling at each of us.

"Yes," said Dad. "We were very happy to hear that she's been doing so well here."

"It seems that she's taken after you, Lena," Flitwick said reminiscently. "You were always very good with Charms too."

I glanced over at Mum. Her mouth tipped. "I suppose. I have fond memories of the Charm Club."

Flitwick nodded. "Yes, yes, always very skilled with those. And Walter! My goodness gracious, I haven't seen that kind of creative daring since your time on the Quidditch Team for Hufflepuff!"

Dad looked oddly pained. "Yes, thank you, Professor. Those days are long over for me."

I looked at him curiously. _Why_? I wondered. What had made him stop pursuing a sport he was clearly very good at?

"We're here to talk about Amber, not ourselves." Dad went on, trying to change the subject. "I'm sure she would be happy to step up to the Gifted and Talented Program."

"I agree." Mum said. She gave me a pointed look. "Well, dear? What say you?"

I stared at her, then Dad. Both looked expectant. I swallowed the last of the cookie, my mouth suddenly dry.

"Well?" Mum pressed.

I chewed my lower lip and let out a gusty exhale. "Actually, I don't want it."

There was a beat of silence, and then Professor Flitwick chuckled. "And why not, dear child?"

"Yes, why not?" Mum asked quietly. "This is a huge opportunity you might be throwing away."

"Lena," Dad said warningly. "Let her explain. Why don't you want to join the Gifted and Talented, Amber?"

"You would also be eligible for scholarships and increased grants." Flitwick tossed in. Mum's brows rose.

"This is a very big break for all of us, Amber." Mum said, her gaze trained on my face.

I fought to control my rising emotions. "But I don't want it, Mum. I'm having a hard time as it is, trying to keep up with my regular coursework and extracurriculars. I'm tired and stressed. It would be too much."

Mum waved a hand at me. "Oh, hush. I've raised children and helped work a farm for the past thirteen years. I've cooked and cleaned for you. Surely you can take on these advanced level classes."

I swallowed hard. Dad was frowning. "Why didn't you say you were already struggling?"

"Your grades are outstanding." Flitwick added. "With a bit of tutoring, we can even bring up your Potions grade to speed. This is an opportunity many don't get the chance to have."

I worked hard to keep myself from leaving the room. "I already told you: It's too much. I like where I am."

"You should really step out of your comfort zone, dear." Mum sighed. "Honestly."

I could feel my old anger against her rising. "It's my life, Mum, not yours. I get to decide how I live it."

Mum's sky-blue eyes flashed. "I want the best for you. And if the best if taking these higher-level courses, then you will do it."

I rose to my feet, blood pounding in my ears. "It's _my _life! I want my freedom. I want to choose how I live it!"

Mum rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, Amber, you're thirteen years old! How could you possibly understand what's good for you and what isn't?"

"She's smart, Lena." Dad said, looking at her with warning. "She doesn't have to do this."

Mum looked furious. "Oh, of course. Take her side. You always take her side, Walter. Even if it's for the wrong choice."

"Will you _please _get your own life and stop trying to ruin mine?" I snapped at Mum. I knew I had gone too far, but I couldn't take the words back.

Mum rose slowly, like a thunderhead building in the summer sky. Her eyes flashed. "I am your mother, child. You will _not _speak to me in that way."

"Would anyone of care for a cup of tea?" Flitwick squeaked nervously. "I have lavender and chamomile, excellent for calming the nerves…"

"Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm not _you?_" I lamented to Mum bitterly. "I don't want more drama. I feel challenged enough. I don't need _more _of it."

"You're making a big mistake." Mum said warningly. "This is something you need in order to do well in the real world."

I threw my hands up. "You think I'm not already living in the real world? I am, Mum! I want to play Quidditch and learn my studies, but at my own pace! Not a faster one because _you_ think it's better!"

Mum snorted. "Oh, stop being such a drama queen, dear. Calm down. It's time you started respecting me."

"It's time you earned it." I snapped.

Mum took a step towards me. Dad got up and placed his hand toward Mum. "Lena, no. Enough. She's made her choice. She doesn't want this."

"She's a fool!" Mum cried. "A disrespectful, foolish girl!"

"Lena!" Dad said harshly. "_Enough_."

Mum closed her mouth, looking furious. I glared back, pretending my eyes weren't full of angry tears.

Flitwick looked between the three of us with trepidation. "I suppose… I can decline the offer to join Gifted and Talented?"

"Yes," I said at the same time as Mum said, "No."

Flitwick looked helpless.

"Amber said no." Dad said quietly to Mum. "It's not going to happen, Lena."

Mum shut her eyes and looked down. "Fine. Throw your life away. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I didn't ask for your advice." I retorted.

Mum gave me a final look, eyes full of disgust and disappointment. "See you at Christmas, if you decide to come home."

She left.

Dad stared after her, raking a hand back through his hair. He swore quietly. I chewed my lower lip, using every ounce of will I had to keep my tears at bay.

"Well, thank you for coming out, Mr. Harkstone." Flitwick said awkwardly. "I expect you'll be staying in Hogsmeade tonight?"

"No," Dad said in a low voice. "We've got transportation home. Thank you again, Flitwick. We'll be in touch." He looked back at me and crossed the room. He hugged me tightly. Tears burned in my eyes.

"I'm so proud of you." Dad said quietly, his familiar scent wreathing around me. "I am, Amber. You did brilliantly tonight."

"Thanks, Dad." I managed, sniffling. I didn't want him to see me like this.

"Can I take you out for a butterbeer?" Dad asked, searching my face. "The Three Broomsticks? Anything?"

But I smiled at him sadly and shook my head. "Mum needs you."

Dad let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry, Amber. I'm really sorry."

I shrugged, trying to downplay it even though my heart was tearing itself to shreds. _Why was I not good enough_? "I'm fine."

Dad hugged me once more. "Good night. I'll see you for Christmas holiday. I love you."

"I love you, Dad."

"Care for a biscuit before you go?" Flitwick offered to Dad, but he left without another word. I stared after him, not sure where to go from here.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Miss Harkstone?" Flitwick said gently.

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine."

"Well," he said bracingly, "there should be a jubilant party happening right now in the Common Room. You should go. Have fun. Enjoy yourself."

I nodded blankly. "Thanks, I will." I left the office, shutting the door quietly behind me. I could still smell Mum's lingering perfume. It smelled like lilacs, slightly cloying but sweet. I wanted to lean against the wall and weep.

But I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. However this rift had formed between us, I wasn't going to allow it to destroy me.

I ascended the tall, spiraling staircase winding up the tower to the Common Room. "It's been around for millions of years," the knocker intoned, "but it's only ever a month old. What is it?"

"The moon." I said dully after a moment. Through the door I could hear lots of laughter and gaiety. I braced myself as the door swung open.

"There she is, there she is!" Anna Noyes cried. "The daughter of the prodigee! The living legacy of Walter Harkstone!"

A dozen hands grabbed me and pulled me inside. An ice-cold butterbeer was thrust into my hand. Someone poured a handful of Bernie Bott's Every Flavor Beans into my other hand. Twenty fellow Ravenclaws who had never given me a second glance before were now clamoring for my attention and cramming their questions and comments at me.

"That was so brilliant, Amber! How'd you think to feint Horn like that?"

"Can you help me practice later?"

"Is Sean Locke into you or something?"

"How old were you when your Dad told you about his Quidditch skills?"

I put up with it for an hour before my frazzled nerves finally snapped. Angelina Azadian wrapped a blue-and-bronze scarf around my waist as Zoey MacDonald placed a replica tiara of Rowena's diadem on my head. Both girls wouldn't stop asking me extremely personal details about Remus and Sean.

"Is it true that Sean has big hands?" Zoey pressed.

"He always catches the ball." I said, frowning.

"Does Remus like girls with long hair?" Angelina gushed. "How'd he get those manly scars?"

"That's his business, but-"

"Merlin's beard, I _love _your necklace." Angelina gasped. "Where did you get it?"

I glared at both of them, having reached the end of my patience. "My sister gave it to me! I need some fresh air. No, Anna, I don't want to demonstrate. Yes, really, Artemis, I'm leaving! No, thank you for the celebration, but I'm just tired."

The sound of the party retreated as I left the Common Room. It was close to nine, after curfew, but I didn't care. I wanted to get away from the noise, from the overpowering energy of excitement. I walked quietly down to the Gryffindor portrait of the Fat Lady, willing Remus or Lily to come out.

"Password?" The Fat Lady said sternly. "You look like a Ravenclaw."

"I am." I said wearily. "Can you ask for Remus Lupin or Lily Evans to come out? Please?"

"Afraid I cannot." The Fat Lady said airily. "That's against the rules, and it's past curfew. You should be in bed, you know."

"Look, I really don't feel like arguing with a painting, so could you please just let me in?"

The Fat Lady looked highly affronted. "I beg your _pardon_, madam, but I am the guardian of Gryffindor's Common Room!" She said in a scandalized tone. "Go back to your dusty little tower. Shoo!"

But I wasn't budging. "Open up. Now."

The Fat Lady looked down disdainfully. "No."

I glared at her. "I'll tell Sirius Black. I know how he's been _dying _to peel back your canvas and see what's behind it."

"You _wouldn't_." The Fat Lady said, but she looked nervous now.

"Amber?"

I looked back, relieved to see James and Sirius walking toward the Common Room, their arms laden with food and drink. Clearly, they'd been down into the kitchens pilfering food from eager house elves.

"I want to see Remus or Lily." I told them frankly. "And she won't let me in."

They grinned. "You're not exactly a full-blooded Gryffindor, darling." James said.

"Please don't ever call me that again."

James and Sirius laughed. "Let her in, Vi, she's a Hatstall."

"Oh, _really_." She sounded highly suspicious. "Password? She stays out."

"Double-standard." I growled.

"_Premonition._" James said clearly. The Fat Lady swung open.

"We'll get him." Sirius vowed. They returned a minute later with Remus and Peter in tow. I groaned.

"Something tells me she's not really happy to see us." James said, pretending to be hurt. "She just wants her boyfriend."

"James!" I snapped. Remus grinned. "You did great today."

"Thank you." I said pointedly, giving James and Sirius a look. "You two had better watch out during our match."

"You want to try that again?" James said, raising his brows. "You're a little bold there, greenhorn."

"Oh, shut up." Sirius laughed. "Come on, let's go try and get the Giant Squid to come up."

"We'll come along." Remus said, looking at me expectantly. His green eyes shone with nothing but warmth, something I couldn't seen in the eyes of my own parents. Biting my lip, I followed.

"You were amazing today." Remus said quietly, surveying my scarved waist and crowned head. "Looks like you've been celebrating."

"Shut up," I said, but I was grinning. "No more talk about it, okay?"

"Okay," Remus said solemnly, but he was smiling too. We walked together in blissful quiet for a minute before he spoke again.

"By the way," Remus said, side by side with me, "nice tiara."

* * *

The weather turned colder in the weeks that followed. The first snows covered the grounds in white and made walking between classes unpleasantly chilly. As Christmas drew nearer, so did the ball that commemorated Helga Hufflepuff's 1000th birthday.

After the first Quidditch match, I was receiving more attention from other students. Several boys now eyed me curiously, like I was some kind of insect they had never seen before. I didn't like the new attention.

"I wish they'd just say what they're thinking or go away." I muttered to Lily as we worked through Potions. Today we were supposed to be making a Shrinking Potion. Mine was so badly gone that thick purple curls of smoke were issuing from it. Lily's was already a healthy, vibrant shade of green, the textbook example of what it was supposed to be.

"Sev thinks that I should be a Potions master." Lily said happily, trying to fix my disastrous attempt. "What do you think?"

I shrugged. "I think James Potter is going to ask you to the ball."

"That's nice." Lily said vaguely, clearly missing what I had just said.

"Lily." I sighed. "Did you even hear me?"

"That's nice." Lily said again, adding a sprig of daisy root to my potion, which bubbled at the addition.

"Oh, forget it." I mumbled. Between Quidditch, homework, classes, and late-night explorations with the Marauders, I found myself more and more drowsy. Even though Mum hadn't protested further since The Incident, I was very glad I had stood my ground and refused to take the extra-hard courses.

Lily and Remus had remained behind with me. They hadn't said why, but I hadn't asked them. I already knew.

"I think Sean Locke will ask you to the ball." Lily mused as my potion, which had been a violent shade of purple, turned dark green. "You should come shopping with me on Saturday to buy a dress."

I moaned. "Do I have to?"

Lily laughed. "You can't wear Quidditch robes to a formal ball, Amber. Honestly."

By the time Professor Slughorn had come by to inspect our work, Lily had miraculously transformed my hissing, roiling purple mess into a serene, leaf-green liquid. Professor Slughorn nodded approvingly. "Better, Harkstone, better. A little less time on the broom and more time in the cauldron would do you good, hmm!"

I rolled my eyes as he turned his large backside toward me and looked down expectantly into Lily's cauldron. He clapped his beefy hands together in jubilation.

"Excellent, excellent!" Slughorn said happily. "You and Severus are neck and neck, Miss Evans. Take a well-earned twenty points for Gryffindor! The rest of you, take note of her skill and better luck next time. Have a happy and safe holiday!"

Lily and I began to pack up. She was in a very good mood; her cheeks were pink and her eyes held a soft glow. She was humming.

"Lily," I said carefully as I stoppered my bottle of leech juice, "is everything alright?"

"Oh, it's wonderful, really." Lily said brightly as she tapped my cauldron. "_Evanesco."_

The cauldron was empty was more.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked as she tucked her cauldron under one arm and skipped away from the desk.

"Oh, well," she said, blushing slightly, "I've just, well… it's silly, really."

"Tell me." I said as we meandered toward our next class.

Lily giggled. "Sev didn't have anyone to go with to the ball."

_Big surprise_. I thought.

"And I didn't either. So we decided we'll go together!"

I raised a brow. "As what?"

"As friends, of course." She laughed once, flipping her hair. "I can't believe it. I thought I was going alone."

"I am." I said flatly.

Lily looked surprised. "Really? You're not going with Remus or Sean?"

I frowned. "Why do I have to go with either of them? I think it would be better to go alone. Less drama."

Lily laughed again. "Oh, Amber. Honestly. Boys aren't all bad. You should know, seeing as you run round with four of them most days."

She had given up on the issue after our last fight. We agreed that we wouldn't fight with other another about who our other friends were. I didn't approve of Severus, she didn't approve of James or Sirius. But we had both realized that peace was better than proving the other wrong.

"I'll go with you to get your dress." I conceded, "but you have to understand that I don't feel like going."

Lily shrugged. "I think you're just saying that. I think that deep down, you have a girly-girl all chained up, just waiting to break free."

"Me? In pink and frills? I'd rather pitch myself off the Astronomy Tower."

Lily laughed and shook her head. "You are impossible, Amber Harkstone."

"You have no idea." I muttered as we entered our next class. Remus was waiting for us at our shared tablespace.

"How'd Potions go?" He asked me.

"About as well as it always does." I retorted. I didn't want to think about the ball. I didn't want to think about gussying up or trying to impress anyone. I just wanted to get through the holidays.

Remus frowned. "How's your wand?"

I felt a twist of guilt. Over a month after our discussion by the lake and I still hadn't done anything about it other than pretend it wasn't happening. "Fine."

"She's a little extra snippy today." Lily warned sweetly. "Don't pay any attention."

"I'm right here, you know." I said dryly.

After a boring History of Magic lesson, Lily begged me to help her pick out a hairdo for the ball. "Do I really look like the kind of girl you'd want for that sort of thing?" I asked with trepidation.

Lily shrugged. "Maybe you're right. I'll ask Angelina."

"Remus!" James shouted, waving him over. Sirius and Peter were flanked against him. "Need to talk."

Remus gave us an apologetic look. "I'll see you at dinner." Something flickered in his eyes as he looked at me. I felt an odd fluttering sensation in my stomach, not unlike what I felt before Quidditch practices and matches.

"Hmm?" I said lightly, trying to ignore the uptick in my pulse at his intent look.

Remus cleared his throat, looking nervous. "Nothing. I'll see you later." He left without another word. I stared after him, but he didn't look back.

"What on earth was that all about?" I wondered aloud, following Lily.

Lily chuckled. "Oh, Amber, you're so oblivious it's quite entertaining."

She was baiting me. I refused to take it. Instead, I changed the subject. "Can you help me with my wand?"

Lily paused, glancing at me in surprise. "It's still not working, is it?"

It was more of a statement than a question. Glumly, I nodded.

Lily exhaled. "I can try, Amber. But it's really not something I have too much experience with. You need to talk to Professor Smith."

I hadn't spoken much to her since the summer ended. There just wasn't the time. And I didn't want to face the possibility that my wand had died.

"I'll talk to her about it." I lied.

Lily nodded, seeming pleased. "Good. I'll check in with you, just to make sure you are."

_Great_. I thought darkly. _Just great. _Now I'd really have to go through with it.

"Excuse me, ladies." A familiar voice said politely.

We both turned. Sean was standing beside us, looking very handsome with his hair perfectly tousled like he'd just gotten off his broom. His gray eyes were glittering with excitement.

"Hi," Lily and I said. She dissolved into a fit of giggles. I didn't.

"What is it, Sean?" I asked seriously. "Did you want to practice Quidditch again?"

"Yes, and no," Sean said brightly. "Lily, might I have a word alone with your friend?"

"Take your time." Lily said coyly. Before I could stop her, she skipped off.

I glowered after her. "She's been acting so weird lately. All the girls have. I can't wait until the ball is over and things calm down again."

Sean nodded patiently. "Let me walk you to your next class."

"It's Care of Magical Creatures." I said as we walked in tandem down the chilly corridors. I complained more about the weather and the constant smell of roasting meat.

"You're a vegetarian." Sean observed.

"I am." I said matter-of-factly.

"I find that very commendable." Sean said, smiling. "Amber, has anyone asked you to the ball just yet?"

I blushed. "No."

Sean nodded, making an interested noise. "I find that hard to believe. You've become a very attractive young lady."

"I'm thirteen." I blurted. "I'm not that old."

Sean shrugged. "You don't need to be old to be mature and wise, and you are."

I didn't know why he was complimenting me like this. Sean was everything a Hufflepuff aspired to be: handsome, charming, polite, friendly, and a constant commenter on the positive things. But this wasn't like him. He wasn't normally so flattering.

"What's on your mind?" I hedged carefully.

Sean smiled down at me. "Well, Amber, if you would, it would give me the greatest honor if you would allow me to accompany you to the ball."

I blinked several times. "I'm sorry, I think I just hallucinated. What did you say?"

Sean's grin broadened. "I was asking you to the ball."

I stared at him, sure I'd heard wrong. "The ball." I echoed dumbly.

Sean looked at me expectantly. "With me?"

I swallowed against the dryness in my throat. My hands were clammy, my heart pounding like a war drum.

The ball. With Sean. Us.

Together.

A million thoughts were rushing through my mind in the space of just a few moments. How could I go to the ball with Sean? It would mean that Remus wouldn't be able to take me.

Remus…

Why did I have the feeling of betrayal inside of me? If I went with Sean, it would be harmless. Right? Remus and I weren't a couple. We were just friends. Best friends.

And more, weren't we?

I remembered us holding hands in Diagon Alley, on the Hogwarts Express. Him consoling me underneath the beech tree. Writing letters the first summer, when Virginia was gone. Entrusting me with his secret of being a werewolf. Saving my life from the wicked mermaids.

We weren't together, but going with Sean would feel like a betrayal to Remus. No, it wouldn't _feel_ like it… it _would _be.

Sean was fun. He taught me how to play Quidditch, how to feel good about myself. He was older and charming and sweet. I didn't detect anything malevolent inside of him. His intentions were pure and true.

But I couldn't hurt Remus.

"I'm sorry, Sean," I said awkwardly, unable to meet his eye, "but I'm actually not going to the ball. I'm going home early for Christmas."

Sean took it like the gentleman he was. He nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry you won't be there. I would have enjoyed it a lot more if you were there."

Blushing, I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."

Sean nodded again, sighing wistfully. "Thank you anyway. I'll see you on the Quidditch pitch tomorrow night for a friendly game of pass?"

Absolved of my guilt, I nodded. "That sounds wonderful, Sean, really. I would really like that."

Sean smiled reassuringly. "I'll take you to class."

We arrived at Professor Kettleburn's a few minutes later. It was cold, so cold that the winter air bit at my face. Sean waved once to Professor Kettleburn and bade me farewell, before trooping back up to the castle.

Lily was at my side in an instant. "What was _that _all about?" She whispered excitedly.

I shrugged. "Nothing. He just had a private question."

Lily looked at me mischievously. "What kind of question?"

"Like I said," I said evasively, "a private one."

Lily pouted. "You're no fun."

I gave her a shameless grin. "I know."

I caught the eye of Angelina, who looked strangely smug about something. I frowned. She turned away quickly and started gossiping to Zoey MacDonald. Both girls looked at me again with devious expressions. The stolen glances continued for the rest of the class.

I was still wondering why when I left. But the nagging thought was forgotten as the rest of the classes commenced. It wasn't until dinner that I received my answer.

"I've just asked Sophie Daniels to the ball." James declared loudly as I seated myself next to Remus. Being near him made my skin tingle. I had ruminate about our interactions for the whole day after Sean's proposal, and now, even thinking about Remus made me stomach jolt. Being near him now made me feel like I was about to faint.

"What did she say?" Sirius asked, grinning. "She turn you down?"

"Nope." James said lazily as he popped a grape in his mouth. "She told Ryan Levine she was sorry to change her mind on him, but she dumped him and picked me instead."

Sirius roared, clapping his hands. "Excellent, excellent!"

The two chattered like monkeys in a tree. I turned my attention away from their rambunctious display and reached for a slice of cheese pizza. My arm brushed against Remus'. It was warm and sent tingles back up my arm to my shoulder.

"Hi," I said, amazed at how hard it was to speak to him all of a sudden. In three years, it had never before been an issue.

Remus gave me a cursory glance. "Hello."

He looked unhappy about something. It was nearing full moon again. I assumed it was causing him to feel ill. I offered him a vibrant smile.

"So, the dance," I broached the forbidden subject, swallowing against the tightness in my throat.

"What about it?" Remus asked, voice flat.

I blinked. "Is everything okay?"

Remus' face was hard as stone. Unease filled me. "Remus?"

He rolled his shoulders. "I thought you weren't going."

I shrugged. "I wasn't planning on it, but Lily's been talking about it for weeks, and she's going with Severus."

James spat out his pumpkin juice, all over Peter, who yelped in surprise. "_What_?"

Sirius' eyes bugged out of his head. "Say that again?"

I frowned. "Lily's going with Severus."

Sirius doubled over in laughter. "Lily Evans is going with Snivellus? Oh, I never thought I'd see the day!"

He and James burst out into raucous laughter. Peter was wiping himself off with a napkin, but he was joining in on the chuckles. I glared at the three of them.

"As friends, yes." I retorted. "What's so bad about that?"

Sirius wheezed. "I hope she brings napkins, she's going to need to wipe up the grease he leaves on the floor!"

I rolled my eyes. Remus, typically reserved, was absolutely stoic. He wasn't touching his plate of steak and rice. Waves of angst rolled off of him.

"Remus," I said quietly, "what's wrong? Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Take your dog for a walk, huh?" James said, eyes suddenly flashing, all humor gone. "Now that you're done with Locke?"

Indignant heat rose to my cheeks. "Excuse me?"

Sirius had stopped laughing too. He was wiping his eyes, where tears had gathered. "Yeah, we saw you two. Walking and talking like a married couple."

I groaned at the ceiling. "Oh, _really_? And how long did it take you both to come with that conclusion? Two hours?"

"Two minutes." James countered. "Sean asked you to the ball."

I glared at him, refusing to speak.

"Coward." James sneered.

"I am _not _a coward!" I shot back angrily. "He asked me! Alright? Is that a crime?"

"Should be." Sirius said. "Harkstones should be off-limits."

"Oh, _honestly_." I turned to face Remus, shutting them out. "Sorry, the mosquitoes were butting in… Hey, I'm talking to you."

Remus was ignoring me. He was nose-deep in a book and gave no indication that he'd heard me.

"Remus." I said again. "Come on, talk to me."

"Why are you so interested in me _now_?" Remus growled, without looking at me. I blinked, hurt.

"What?" I said, treading carefully.

"Not too bright for a Ravenclaw." James said nastily.

Remus shut his book. "Shut up, James. I don't need your input."

James raised his hands, palms up. "Sorry, mate. I was just-"

"Just what?" Remus snapped. "Butting in as you always do? Enough."

Sirius muttered, "that time of the month" as Remus rose to his feet, tucking his book under his arm. I rose to follow him.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked doggedly as I tailed him out of the Great Hall. "Remus, please! Stop. _Stop."_

I grabbed him arm. He whirled around to face me. His green eyes were electric-lime, a sign of the waxing full moon. He looked angry.

"You're going to the ball with _Locke_." He said in disgust. "Sean _Locke_."

"No, I'm not." I said in annoyance. "I turned him down, because-"

Remus shook his head. "I knew it. I _knew _it. Lily was wrong. The blokes were right." He turned away, sighing heavily. "I was an idiot. I thought…"

Fear flooded my veins like ice water. "Thought what?" I whispered. My heart was beating so hard I thought for sure he could hear it.

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but whatever words he'd been about to say were never heard.

"Remus! There you are." Angelina Azadian was striding over, beaming. "I was wondering where you'd gone to."

I stared at her, filled with unease and a stronger sense of distaste. "Can we help you?"

Angelina, pretending to notice me for the first time, gave me a haughty look through her dark eyes. She tossed her long sweep of dark, raven-colored hair. "Actually, I wasn't talking to you."

Pride stung, I lifted my chin a notch. "And I didn't see anyone talking to you before you interrupted us. Move along."

But Angelina didn't. She strode over to Remus and gave him an appraising look. "What's _her _problem? I thought you said you were coming to the ball with me."

I gaped at her, stunned. "_Excuse _me?"

Angelina looked infuriatingly smug. "You didn't hear? Remus and I are going steady now."

I stared at Remus, all of the light, happy feelings turned to lead inside. "Is this true?"

Remus looked at me, then away. "Yeah."

"I don't believe it." I blurted. "No way. No." Nothing was computing. It was just too ludicrous. Remus was _mine_.

I stared at them, feeling like a bomb had just been dropped onto me. Her hand was in his hand. The same one that had held mine as we stood in line for my broom. The same one that cradled mine after the vicious, deadly attack on the Hogwarts Express.

"Prove it." I said suddenly, surprising myself. I just couldn't believe it without seeing it. I wanted proof. No, I didn't _want _to see proof. I just needed to have it.

Angelina smirked. Then, without further ado, she leaned forward and kissed Remus full on the mouth.

_Okay_, I thought as I felt the awful, slow burn of hot jealousy in my chest, felt the dull, bass-drum thump of my pulse, _this is what it feels like to die._


	41. The Ball

I wasn't sure how long it took me to react. It felt like hours, maybe days. But it must have been just a few seconds, because one moment I was standing with my mouth open and fists clenched and the next I was lunging at Angelina and knocking her away from Remus and onto the cold, hard ground.

My right hand connected with her soft face first. Then I lost control. I could feel the frigid stone floor seeping up into my knees as I laid into Angelina, all of my anger and shame I had bottled for the past three years unleashed in that fraction of a second. Angelina was screaming and cursing me out, trying to reach for her wand, but I ripped it from her hand and hurled it away. She raked a hand across my face, leaving long pink lines from her fingernails in my skin. She grabbed my long hair and pulled so hard that my eyes watered. I curled my hand into a fist again and rocked it into her jaw.

We couldn't have been fighting for more than a few seconds, but it felt like years. Suddenly, we were blasted apart by an iridescent blue force. I landed ten feet away on my rump and immediately surged to my feet again, my legs jelly-like with the rush of adrenaline in my body. Angelina was still on the ground, wiping at her bloody nose. Remus was positioned exactly between us, his wand out, pointing at _me_.

I choked back a strangled sob and plunged my hand into my pocket. Remus jabbed his wand in my direction.

"Don't even think about it." He said firmly, his eyes blazing. I glared at him, filled with something even stronger than my red haze of anger.

He had betrayed me.

"Go to Hell!" Angelina half-shouted, tears streaming from her eyes, which were already swelling from my punches. I realized then that I had caused it, that I had resorted to violence for the first time in my life, and I suddenly wanted to be anywhere else but right here.

"You first." I hissed, my throat constricting with guilt and remaining anger.

People were beginning to emerge from the Great Hall. Remus jerked his head to the side. "Go, Amber."

I stared at him, feeling as if the bottom had dropped out from my world. "What?"

"_Go_, before McGonagall comes." He said again. Then he turned his back and helped Angelina stagger to her feet.

I didn't need another hint. Tears now flowing from my own eyes, I turned and fled. I ran down the familiar corridor to the painting of the lake, running through the tunnel, scraping my arms on the sides of the earthen and stone walls before bursting free into the cold December air outside of the castle. I didn't look back as I pelted toward the Whomping Willow, the Murder Tree. It swayed ominously as I approached, but I didn't slow my pace.

"Go on, kill me! Just try!" I screamed as I ran as fast as I could toward the entrance underneath it, reckless with the overpowering rush of adrenaline. The Tree swung forward. The trunk missed me by inches; the long tendrils slapped at my face and left a deep cut in my cheek. Ignoring the pain, I made it underneath the Tree and kept running until I burst into the dusty abode, the Shrieking Shack.

Finally, there was nowhere else to go. I was stuck here. My chest heaved as I fought for air, trying to process the wild thoughts running through my mind.

My first real fist fight, and it had been against _Angelina_. Not Mulciber or Avery. Not James or Sirius.

It had been against _Angelina Azadian_.

I tried to calm down, but my head was spinning so hard I felt like I was going to be sick. I sank into a dusty chair and covered my face with my hands. Warm blood flowed from the cut I'd received from the Whomping Willow. I touched it gingerly. My hand came away red and wet. I tore off a section of my robe and pressed it against the wound to staunch the flow of blood. I swallowed against the burning dryness in my throat and listened to the gradually slowing _ba-bum, ba-bum _of my pulse still beating in my ears.

What was going to happen to me now?

I gritted my teeth against the burn of tears. Was I going to be expelled? Surely I'd receive detention. Points would be taken from Ravenclaw. It didn't seem fair that the girl who stole Remus, the little _slut_, would go off scot-free, all because I'd reacted in the most primal way.

Oh, I had. I had gone way too far.

I tried to bury my guilt and remorse, but a part of me felt vindicated. A deep, visceral part of me was glad I'd done it. But why?

_Mum_. A small voice whispered. _Dad. Virginia._

"Stop it." I told myself. "Stop."

_You've been carrying too much weight for too long_. Remus' words came floating back to me, bringing with it an unbelievable wave of hurt and devastation. I bit back a gasp of pain.

How could he? _How could he_?

I had always thought thirteen was too young to fall in love. But Sean was right. I'd experienced more than what the normal thirteen-year-old did. I'd lost a sister, lived with the guilt, dealt with the rejection of my mother and absence of my well-meaning father. And his secrets…

I tried to steer my thoughts into a more positive direction, but all I could think about was Angelina kissing Remus, kissing _my _Remus, and my fists slamming into her until blood came out of her face. Vicious vengeance and consuming remorse filled me until I was sure my skin would burst or I would die. I was about to let my tears come when I heard footsteps creaking up the steps.

I froze. I rose slowly, hand going to my wand, one hand still pressed to my bleeding cheek. Someone was here. Only a few people knew how to get in, and I didn't want to see any of them right now. I quietly slipped into an old wardrobe filled with moth-eaten coats and gently pulled the door closed so that just a fraction of vision was left.

A figure in a sweeping black cloak entered the room. It was so dark that for a moment, I couldn't make him out clearly. Then my heart stopped.

_Folsom._

It couldn't be him. But it was. I could smell his cloying perfume, see the faint sheen of his blonde hair in the moonlight filtering in through the grimy window. I felt another thrill of horror because I had blood all over me. Even if he couldn't see me, he could definitely smell me.

I watched Folsom walk around the length of the room. I closed my eyes briefly, all anger obliterated in a huge surge of terror, white-hot and blinding. _Please, God, let him pass over me. Let me live. Please. I don't want to die. Not yet. Not like this._

Folsom stopped near the chair I had been sitting in. He stared down at it for so long that I was sure he was frozen. Then he slowly revolved on the spot, staring out the window.

"I know you're in here, Miss Amber."

I didn't know how, but I squelched the tiny gasp of horror that almost eeked out of my mouth. I was trembling so hard I thought he could surely hear me, rattling the old dusty coats.

I knew what he was going to do. He was going to kill me, right here, in a matter of moments. I was done.

He moved around the room again, inhaling deeply. _Oh, God. _

He was tracking my scent.

Folsom did that for a few more moments. Then he turned and stared right into the wardrobe.

"Are you hiding?" He asked quietly, taking a single step forward. "Don't you know… I can always smell a rat."

I wondered how much of a chance I had against him. Now, when I was feeling lower than I had ever felt in my life, when all I could feel was fear and death coming for me, could I produce a corporeal Patronus? With my dead wand?

I had to try. It was my only chance.

I raised my wand slowly, shutting my eyes, trying to picture Remus kissing _me _instead, but it only brought another wave of pain. I thought of seeing Virginia again. More pain. I thought of becoming an international Quidditch player. No. No, there was nothing, no warm or happy spark. I was going to die here, and there was nothing I could do…

Folsom took another step toward me. His blue eyes glowed in the dark like a wolf's. He knew where I was. And he was coming for me.

Another step. One more.

There was another sound. Someone else was coming up the stairs. Wild panic flooded me.

_What if it's Voldemort?_

Another black-cloaked figure emerged. Dark hair, tied back in a bun. A glittering silver necklace with a small cross on it. Hope flared in my chest.

_Professor Smith!_

"It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Vincent." She said quietly. Folsom snapped his head around, clearly surprised.

"I no longer recognize that name." Folsom said coldly in his high-pitched voice. "You should know Lord Voldemort is not far."

Professor Smith laughed softly. "I know when you're lying, Mackenzie. What are you doing here?"

I watched the exchange with baited breath. Maybe I wasn't going to die now.

Folsom merely looked at Professor Smith. "I am hunting."

"Clearly." Professor Smith said with disgust in her voice. "A student, no less."

"That is none of your concern." Folsom said coolly. "She has a personal interest to me."

"She is under mine and Dumbledore's protection." Professor Smith said, taking a measured step forward. Folsom smiled coldly, revealing his perfect white teeth… and two very distinct canines.

"How cute… so you feel obligated to protect this girl, do you? And what of the other girl placed in your charge? How does Mara fare?"

"She is none of your concern." Professor Smith said darkly.

"Isn't she?" Folsom purred. "I haven't seen the dear girl in _years_… I hear you raised her well, in spite of who her father is."

"She is nothing like her father." Professor Smith spat at Folsom. "You mean nothing to me, just as I told Tom all those years ago. Mara is my only concern, and she has grown too powerful for even you to be a threat against her."

Folsom laughed, a strange sound that made my hair stand on end. "How does she feel knowing her own mother is a Death Eater?"

Folsom had pulled up his forearm, displaying a black tattoo. He had crossed the room so quietly and subtly that not even Professor Smith had noticed. She didn't even notice that he had pushed up her sleeve, revealing a matching tattoo.

"You remember…" Folsom breathed. "Once a Death Eater… always a Death Eater…"

Folsom leaned closer to her neck. Horror made my next action clear. _He was going to bite her_.

"Professor Smith!" I yelled from the wardrobe, about to push through the door and leap into the fray.

Professor Smith reacted so quickly that I was blinded by the white light. She had produced a Patronus so powerful that it made the moon look dark. There was a loud hiss and growl, the sound of breaking glass, and then the light gradually dimmed. The huge basilisk wove around and around the room, illuminating everything in its white-blue light.

"You can come out now, Amber." Professor Smith said calmly. "He's gone."

Shaking, I opened the wardrobe, wand still out. The basilisk slithered down the steps, leaving residual light. I could make out Professor Smith's scar more clearly than ever. She still hadn't tugged down her sleeve. I stared down at her forearm.

It was the exact same symbol as the skull and the serpent… the same symbol that had been over the Hogwarts Express the day that the attacks had happened.

Professor Smith noticed my perusal and quickly pulled her sleeve down. She gestured toward the stairs. "Come. Madam Pomfrey is expecting you."

I didn't say a word as we left the Shack and walked back to the castle. I was too filled with a million thoughts and feelings. One thing was clear.

Professor Smith was… _had been_… a Death Eater.

* * *

I tried not to think about my close shave with Folsom. I didn't speak to Remus after that. I avoided him like he was Peeves. I pretended that I couldn't see him when I would pass him in the halls. I sat in the very front of every class so that I wouldn't have to endure the sight of him sitting next to Angelina, who would coo at him or try to hold his hand. The very thought of them doing anything together always brought a surge of pain and a fresh round of tears, which kept me hurrying to the bathrooms or closet to compose myself.

I felt like I had lost trust in everyone. Even Lily, who I still treated like a sister but kept slightly at arm's reach. I couldn't risk losing our friendship again, not after the betrayal that Remus had committed, and instead let Lily keep up her excited barrage of ball-talk. She asked me once, as soon as we saw each other after It Happened, if I was okay.

"I don't want to talk about it." Was all I had said, and so she had respected it.

Saturday came. Hogsmeade visit. Lily had talked of buying a gown for the occasion and begged me to come with her. I decided it was a good idea. A good distraction.

We left after breakfast. Food had lost its appeal to me, but I forced myself to eat at least enough to satisfy Lily's watchful gaze before we headed out to the village. It seemed that every third year girl or older from Hogwarts had the same idea. I had never seen the road so clogged with students.

Lily and I made our way to McBride &amp; Van Hoorn, the local boutique specializing in teenage-to-twenty fashion. Lily squealed and danced excitedly as she caught sight of the mannequins wearing examples of their merchandise.

"Oh, Amber!" Lily breathed. "Look at that pink frilly one!"

I raised a brow. "You actually think that looks good?"

"You never know!" Lily sang. She dragged me inside. Several other girls I recognized from school were browsing the racks. A few gave me cursory looks, but otherwise didn't stare. For the past few days, I had been gawked at. Anna Noyes had even threatened to kick me off the team for what I had done to a fellow Ravenclaw, until I reminded her who my father was and how disappointed he would be in a Captain who had dismissed his own daughter. That had shut her up.

She was here now, with Artemis. Artemis waved once. I pretended I hadn't seen. I tucked my scarf closer around my face. It was red-and-gold. Anna cleared her throat. I threw an annoyed look at her.

"Yes?" I said irritably.

Anna looked disgruntled. "Why are you wearing Gryffindor colors?"

"Because it's a scarf?" I said sarcastically. "And I'm cold."

"Well, next time, try and look a little more supportive of your House." Anna said coolly, turning back to a rack of blue dresses.

Lily was humming. She pulled out her wand and said, "_Colovaria."_

The scarf changed to blue and bronze. My House's colors.

"Why were you wearing that thing anyway?" Lily asked lightly as she pulled down ten different dresses and handed them to me to hold.

I shrugged. Remus had loaned it to me two weeks ago. I hadn't been able to part with it. It felt good knowing that I had something of his that he couldn't give to Angelina.

_Angelina_. I scowled and readjusted the scarf. What a horrible name. How could I ever had thought she was a nice girl, even a friend? She was nothing more than a backstabber, a slut.

"Amber? Amber, come on. Focus."

"Sorry." I muttered. Lily had pulled down another dress. "I need your opinion."

I followed her to the changing room. She hooked her eleven dresses on the back of the door and shut the door. She talked the entire time. I listened.

"Do you think Severus will like this? Even if it's pink?"

"Does this make me look fat?"

"What color brings out my eyes best?"

"Oh, can you grab me a different size?"

"How does this one look?"

Lily turned appraisingly in the final dress. It was a floral yellow print with a black belt. "Hmmm… no."

"I think the pink one with ruffles looks best." I said finally, picking underneath my nails, trying to think of anything but Remus. It was hard to do.

"The Chiffon?" Lily said in surprise. "The one on display?"

"Yeah." I said. "It looked best on you."

Lily looked pleased. "Okay. Your turn."

I rolled my eyes. "How many times do we have to go over this? I'm. Not. Going."

Lily sighed and took my hands. They were very warm, compared to my freezing ones. Lily squeezed them.

"Listen, Amber. I'm going to need my best friend there. It wouldn't be the same without you. Besides, didn't Sean ask you?"

I looked away. "I turned him down." I had expected Remus to take me.

Lily sighed in sympathy. "You don't need a date to attend, you know. And the best revenge is to be happy. Trust me."

It was the first time she had broached the forbidden subject. I looked at her squarely. "If I hate it, I'm going right upstairs to my room. No questions asked."

Lily squealed and hugged me tightly. "Oh, Amber! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Alright, let's get you to try on some of these dresses."

I moaned and squeezed the bridge of my nose. "Do your worst."

I let Lily take over and usher me inside. She put me in seven different gowns, fussing over them and my figure. On dress #8, she clapped her hands and declared me ready.

"Are you sure?" I said uneasily. It was pale blue chiffon, going down to my knees, a sweetheart crossover bodice, with a thick blue band of chiffon running around the waistline.

"Your opal necklace will make it perfect when I finish your hair and makeup." She said happily. We left the boutique, wallets significantly lighter. The ball was just hours away, and Lily was already talking about getting back to the castle and fixing our hair and make-up.

I caught sight of Sean leaving The Three Broomsticks with a group of his Quidditch friends. Inspiration struck. "Just a second, Lily," I said quickly and trotted over to Sean. He was laughing and smelled like butterbeer.

"Hey, Harkstone!" Ryan Levine said amicably, grinning down at me. "Remind me to never mess with you."

I knew he was referring to the fight I'd had with Angelina. I rolled my eyes. Flitwick had docked fifty points from Ravenclaw and given me detention for a week, beginning the first day after holiday break ended.

"Very funny." I said dryly. I looked up at Sean. "Mind if I have a minute?"

Sean smiled that disarming grin of his. "I'll meet up with you guys in a second." When they had gone, Sean stuffed his hands in his pockets. "What's up, Amber?"

He didn't bring up the incident, which I was grateful for. I cleared my throat, nervous. "Well… I just wanted to let you know, I've decided to go to the ball after all. And uh… I would be really happy if you wanted to go. With me. Because you asked. And… and… what's wrong?"

Sean's face fell. "Oh, Amber, I'm sorry, but I've already asked someone else. And she agreed."

The first fluttery feelings I'd had been days vanished. I felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over me. "Oh."

Sean sighed heavily. "I'm really sorry, Amber. Damn. I would have loved to take you."

I didn't know what to say. I felt like crying again. "It's okay." I lied.

Sean chewed his lower lip. "I'll see you there tonight. Maybe we can grab a butterbeer together sometime."

"Yeah. Okay." I said dully. I wanted to get away from him and another rejection.

Sean apologized again. "Merry Christmas, Amber." He said, and he sounded genuine. I gave a half-hearted smile. "You too, Sean."

I turned away and trudged back to Lily. She studied me carefully. "You asked him back, didn't you?"

"Forget it." I growled, fighting back tears. "Boys are stupid."

Lily gave me a sympathetic hug. "And that's why girls are better than boys at everything in life. Come on, I'll get chocolate and butterbeer that we can have while we get ready."

I gave her a look. "It's barely eleven!"  
Lily frowned. "Oh. Right. Well, let's have a girls' day first, then. Long soak in the baths, hand massages, and then we can pig out. And then get ready for the ball."

"Whatever you want." I said bracingly, even though I meant _Anything that distracts me from what's going on._

We spent the afternoon wandering in Hogsmeade and then lounging in the local spa, which was hosting a special discount for Helga Hufflepuff's birthday. Lily insisted we start getting ready for the ball at two. The dance wasn't until five. I conceded at two-thirty. We decided to use a girl's' bathroom on the third floor, completely empty, since all the classes had halted for holiday and everyone was in their Common Room. Lily was twirling her wand into her hair and making it curl in soft red waves. "Simple heating charm," she explained as I stared at her.

I faced myself in the reflection. I had no idea where to start.

"I think I'll go like this." I decided, and got up to leave.

Lily gaped at me. "No, you aren't! You sit down and wait until I'm finished with my hair and make-up and let me do yours. I won't be long. And it'll be fun!"

I looked at her dubiously. "If you say so."

More than facing Folsom a few days ago, I was dreading going to this ball. What if I saw Angelina and Remus? My stomach clenched horribly. I closed my eyes to chase away the nausea.

Lily finished her applications quickly and turned to me. She gave me a wicked grin. "This is going to be so much fun."

I made a face. "I doubt it."

"Oh, hush." Lily pulled a comb through my long hair, working at the tangles without complaining. She brushed it until it was seamless. Then she rubbed a white paste into it and tousled it with her fingers.

"There." She said as she picked up her make-up bag and started on my face. "Close your eyes until I'm done."

I obeyed. What felt like an hour later, she said, "Okay, you can open them now."

I did.

At first I didn't recognize the stranger staring back at me in the mirror. She had softly curling, flyaway-free honey-blonde hair tumbling down to her mid-back. Her skin was clear and bright. Full lips, painted red. Blush on her cheeks. Black, liquid eyeliner running the length of her cat-eyes. Thick, black lashes.

I swallowed hard. "Lily."

Lily beamed. "Do you like it?"

I touched my hair tentatively, afraid it wasn't really me. But it was.

"What… what did you do you to me?"

Lily giggled. "Don't tell me you don't like it. Remus and Sean will be kicking themselves. You are _beautiful_."

I bit my lower lip. I couldn't tear my gaze away from myself. "What's on my fingers?"

"Glitter and polish." Lily said happily. She was pulling on her pink dress. It fell down to her feet in an elegant pink waterfall. The V-neck made her collarbones stand out and enhanced her blossoming figure. The pink ruffled sleeves on her shoulders complimented her fair skin. She pinned in pearl earrings and then clipped my hair back away from my face and gave me a look. "Come on, put your dress on! And the shoes."

Grumbling, I obeyed. I let her zip up the back of the blue dress while I held my hair out of the way. Then I stepped into the black flats.

"Wait." Lily said. She stuck a pink lily in her hair behind her right ear and grinned at me. "How do I look?"

I smiled, the first real one I'd had since The Incident. "Like an angel."

Lily beamed. "And you look like a miracle."

I frowned. "Hey."

Lily giggled. "In the best way. Come on."  
We left the bathroom and down the moving stairways. The air hung with a tangible sense of excitement and anticipation. Several students were filtering down towards the Great Hall, which had been decorated for the Christmas holiday with twelve sparkling Douglas fir trees, live fairies, and endless red-ribboned garlands criss-crossing overhead. Severus was waiting nervously by one of the Christmas trees. He brightened when he saw Lily.

"You look…" he swallowed hard, apparently lost for words. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." Lily was glowing. "You look very handsome, Sev."

Pink filled Severus' sallow cheeks. He walked with her through the double doors. I hung back, unwilling to enter. Lily looked over her shoulder and gave me an encouraging smile. Sighing, I resigned myself to my fate. I entered the Hall alone and unaccompanied.

In addition to the Christmas decorations, the house elves and staff had also added several Hufflepuff ornaments. Yellow and black ribbons were strung across the buttresses, and a gigantic birthday cake sat where the staff table once was. Countless candles glowed upon it. I walked toward it, transfixed, like a moth to a flame. The candles weren't dripping, probably magically modified, and the icing was several shades of yellow and pink. All of the candles were black, giving it the appearance of a giant bumblebee.

It must have been the birthday cake for Helga Hufflepuff, which meant that one thousand candles were sticking into it. I shook my head in amazement.

A band consisting of a goblin, elf, and an elderly bard were playing not far. The hilly, uplifting melodies were Celtic. I surveyed the mass of students, guessing that roughly half of the Hogwarts students had decided to stay for the Christmas holiday just to partake in the ball. I milled over to the long, white table across the room that held several refreshments. I chose a chocolate-covered strawberry and watched several older students slow-dancing with their partners. Younger ones - my age and under - were in clusters, gyrating and making up more robust dance moves, laughing. I spotted James and Sirius, Peter in tow, setting off small fireworks that spiraled in pretty colors before bursting. I watched with faint amusement as Professor Smith and Professor McGonagall strode over to confiscate the contraband.

It had only been five minutes and already I wanted to go back to my room. I shuffled awkwardly on my feet. I didn't want to be here. Lily and Severus were talking animatedly over by the punch bowl. I had never seen Severus look so happy before. Even though I wanted to at least have Lily for company, I didn't want to spoil his rare happiness.

I wandered aimlessly around the Great Hall, studying the black griffins holding up the large flaming lamps that illuminated the surroundings. I noticed, for the first time, the faint gray markings and imprints on the walls of various ancient symbols. I felt the inspiration to visit the library and satisfy my curiosity. Perhaps if I was very quiet, Madam Pince wouldn't notice my unwanted presence.

I was about to execute my plan when I spotted Sean in the center of the Hall. He was twirling Anna Noyes around like a ballerina. She looked radiant. I watched them with a twist of envy and guilt. Why hadn't I just accepted his invitation? Why had I been stupid enough to think that Remus would take me?

I took a swig of pumpkin juice to try and wash away the rising bitterness. It did little to help. Biting my lip, I threw away the empty cup and headed for the exit. I wasn't going to torment myself any longer.

"Hey, Harkstone!"

I closed my eyes, willing myself to be patient. "What is it, James?"

James and Sirius had flounced over, both smelling faintly of smoke. Peter was right behind them.

"Don't you two have dates?" I asked wearily, just wanting to be alone.

James nodded. "Yep, but they're off powdering their noses. How come you're not with someone?"

I glared at him. "Very funny. I don't want to do this again today, James. Good night."

"Hey, hey, wait." Sirius said. "You mean Sean didn't actually take you?"

I folded my arms across my chest. "No. I turned him down because I thought… I thought Remus would take me. But he's taking that girl instead."

"Angelina?" Sirius said.

I rolled my eyes. "_Must _you use her name?"

James and Sirius whistled. "Sean didn't take you, huh?"

"No." I said, getting angry.

James looked over, spotting them. "Well, I am shocked and dismayed."

"No, no," Sirius interrupted, shaking his head. "You can't be both. You be shocked and I'll be dismayed."

A smile twitched on my lips. "Is there a point to this torture, or can I go now?"

James sighed. "Look, Harkstone, we're hard on you a lot, but that's because you're tough and can take it."

"And we really thought you and Remus were into each other." Sirius added.

"So we know you must be feeling a little pain right now, even if you don't show it." James tacked on. Peter nodded in agreement.

I bit my lip to try and keep my tears at bay. I was so emotional these days. "And? You two were down my throat about it earlier, remember?"

"Well, we really thought you were just playing Remus." Sirius said awkwardly. "But Locke really isn't here with you, and you attacked Angelina." He grinned. "That was bloody brilliant."

"Wish I'd taken photographs." James said wistfully. "A perfect opportunity for blackmail, wasted."

A bubble of laughter escaped me. "I shouldn't have hit her."

"Probably not." Sirius conceded. "But it was worth it. She's so _annoying_. Always gabbering on and on about hair products and clothes. She tries to tag along with us and Remus, but she's a real pain in the arse. We miss having you around, Harkstone."

I shrugged. "I guess you never really know what you've got until it's gone."

James nodded once. "So, we've decided to lighten up on you. Just for tonight."

"Great." I said dryly, but I was smiling. "Back to the grind tomorrow?"

"That's right." Sirius said cheerfully. "So, you can dance with each of us in turn. And then you can go off and cry or read books or punch other girls, whatever tickles your fancy."

I laughed out loud that time. I had never really enjoyed much harmony with these boys, but tonight, something had changed. I allowed the three of them to escort me out onto the floor. Sirius took my hand first, bringing me back to the time when we had made the Unbreakable Vow in our first year. No matter what I did, I was going to be bound to this boys until the day I died.

Even Remus.

I let Sirius swing me around in a slow circle. His wolfish grin was wicked. "Care for something a bit more… robust?"

I chuckled. "Only if you can keep up."

Sirius' grin broadened. He swung me around in a tight circle, picking up the pace as the band changed to a fast, upbeat rhythm with a complicated string melody and a pounding drum beat. I laughed as Sirius spun me around, passing me off to James after a minute. Peter entered next, a full head shorter than I was, his round face shiny with perspiration. They traded me off and on again for what felt like just minutes, but when the band finished the lengthy number, I felt dizzy. I swayed slightly on my feet.

"Merlin's beard, sit down." James laughed as he lead me to a nearby table. Sirius poured me a tall drink of water. I drained it in one gulp. He refilled it and I downed a second.

"You were dancing for almost an hour." Sirius informed me as he caught his breath. "Someone was having fun."

"An _hour_?" I exclaimed, my face hot. James and Sirius laughed.

"We could go again." James suggested, but I waved him down. Now that I was sitting and stationery, my hot blood was cooling. Fatigue was setting in, the same feeling I had after a long Quidditch practice. It felt good to be exercised and spent. I brushed my damp hair out of my face. Lily was dancing with Severus, clearly enjoying herself, but not nearly as much as Severus, who couldn't dance whatsoever but looked over the moon just to have Lily with him. I smiled wistfully, wondering at the depth of his feelings for her. I hoped he wouldn't have to experience the same kind of pain I had with Remus.

"Oh, look." Peter mumbled, pointing. "There they are."

I knew I shouldn't have. But my gaze followed his direction, and my heart sank. There was Remus with Angelina, who was wearing a vibrant, sparkling purple gown made of some kind of shiny material, winking like stars every time she made the slightest move. James and Sirius laughed.

"She looks like she's been spending a little too much time in the Divination Tower," Sirius chuckled.

"Stealing Professor McKennitt's wardrobe." James added fondly. "What would we ever do if the world ran out of shawls?"

"And perfume." Peter added timidly.

I rolled my eyes, heaving myself to my feet. "Well, gentlemen, thank you very much for tonight, but I'd really like to leave now. I bade you good night."

"Did you hear that?" Sirius said with mock surprise. "She called us _gentlemen_."

"Maybe she did dance a little too much." James mused, drinking a butterbeer.

I waved them away. "Don't expect to get called it again. Good night." I made my way toward the exit and up the stairs, where the noise died away. I entered the library unnoticed and exhaled deeply, finally able to relax in the peaceful quiet. I selected a book from a shelf at random, _What To Do When You May be a Wandless_ by Africa Blanch, and began to read. My body cooled in the draft library, and I thought of Folsom, finding me in the Shack, nearly uncovering my hiding place. I shivered in the cold, but knew that as long as I was within the castle, he couldn't touch me.

I got up on stiff legs an hour later and reshelved the book. My stomach was growling with hunger. I thought of the birthday cake waiting downstairs and decided to re-enter the ball. I did so and found the Hall half-empty, the cake cut into hundreds of pieces and left half-eaten on white plates. I selected the closest one and was pleased to see it was chocolate. I alighted gently on a chair at an empty table, watching the remaining students dance.

I felt a warning prickle on the back of my neck. I shivered in response and took a bite of the cake. It was soft and pillowy and melted in my mouth like butter.

I heard someone settle in a chair at my table. I rolled my eyes, expecting Lily. "Honestly, Lily, I'm still irked that you practically forced me into an Unbreakable Vow to attend this dance…" I trailed off, the words dying in my throat as I turned to face the newcomer.

It was Remus.

I swallowed another bite of cake and pretended not to feel the hot rush of blood in my face. I took a long gulp of water and scrambled for things to say.

Remus sighed. He was wearing a white long-sleeve with a black tie that had loosened. His black dress pants were stained with what looked like confectioner's sugar. He pulled at his top collar button and loosened it.

"Hi." He said after a moment. His tone was careful and tentative. I glared at him with all of the anger I'd felt for the past week and prompted turned my back on him.

Remus sighed again. "Amber… can't we talk?"

"No." I ate another bite of cake, even though it now tasted like ashes in my mouth.

"I want to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to _you_."

I heard a chair scraping. I looked over and watched Remus move closer, so that he was next to me. He smelled like cinnamon, chocolate, and fresh laundry. I glowered at him. "Go away."

"Not until we talk first."

I rolled my eyes. "Great, so now you can fill me in on all of the dirty details about you and Angelina. Well, I don't actually give a crap about what you two are like. In fact, I'd like nothing better than to pretend either of you exist."

I hadn't meant to reveal that much, but it was Remus. I had always been able to talk to him about anything, and even now, the old habit persisted. I clamped my mouth shut and reached for my glass of water, shaking.

Remus watched me sadly. He looked out onto the dance floor. Sean and Anna were talking to each other near the chocolate-covered strawberries. I suddenly wanted very much to cry; I bit my lip and forced myself to think of happier things. The look on Angelina's face when I lunged for her. Dancing with the boys. The urge to cry waned slightly.

"Amber, I'm sorry I hurt you." Remus said quietly. "I never meant to."

"Didn't you?" I snapped, rounding on him, staring him full on the face, pain twisting inside of me at the same time. "Isn't that why you asked her out, Remus? Or have you two been going out longer than then?"

Remus looked away, and I knew it was the latter. I was shocked at the amount of anguish I felt at the realization. It hurt more than I could have ever expected, because it meant that my feelings for him, which ran deeper than platonic, were one-sided. Remus had never felt anything more than friendship toward me.

And now I didn't have any hope left.

"I miss you." Remus went on, as if he hadn't seen my distress. "You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose that. Not for anything."

I couldn't speak, because I was so close to losing it, losing everything from my cake to my hold onto sanity. So I gave a tiny, curt nod instead.

"Amber, Angelina is just a girl I'm going out with. I don't care about her the way I care about you."

I shut my eyes, hoping to trap the welling tears. "I thought…" I cleared my throat. "You're not supposed to date other people. You're supposed to wait until I'm dead."

Remus gave a soft chuckle. "If it makes you feel any better, I wanted to throttle Sean every time he talked to you."

I couldn't look at him, not like this. I could hardly breathe around the gaping hole in my chest, where my heart used to be. How could I have pretended I didn't have feelings for Remus? Why had I waited so long to act on them? Of course Remus would have moved on. He was an attractive, quiet, handsome, good guy. I should have known girls would be lining up to date him.

"You knew I liked you." I said quietly.

I should have acted sooner.

_Should have, could have, would have… _It was over. There would be no romance between us. And why should there be? There hadn't been any before. We had always been just friends. That was how it should be. He hadn't done anything wrong by being with Angelina.

But then, why did it hurt so badly?

"I'm really sorry, Amber." Remus apologized again. I looked at him now and saw no hint of mockery or animosity. He was sincere.

I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. "I'm sorry I beat up Angelina."

A smile twitched on his lips. "No, you're not."

I shrugged. "You're right."

Remus laughed once. "Are we still friends?"

I studied him intently. For all of the pain he had caused me in the past week, it couldn't outweigh all of the loyalty and friendship he'd given me in the past three years. He had even saved my life once.

Angelina swooped down at the table. She sat next to Remus and tossed back her long mane of black hair. The tentative peace I'd made with Remus vanished like a candle being blown out.

"You're brave for sitting here." I said coldly, looking at Angelina. Madam Pomfrey had cleaned her up nicely. The only sign of our fight was the light shadow of a bruise under her left eye.

Angelina lifted a brow. "Oh. I didn't realize the freak was here."

I struggled to hold onto my temper. "Go. Away."

Angelina slipped her hand into Remus'. Remus looked embarrassed. He pulled his away. Angelina tried again.

I got up. "Congratulations, Angelina. I never thought you were a backstabber."

Angelina laughed without the humor. "I guess that's a compliment, coming from the girl who can't even impress her own mother."

"Angelina." Remus said sharply. I picked up a glass of water and contemplated throwing it on her. I barely curbed my temper and stormed away from the table. "That's right, run away!" Angelina called.

Remus hurried after me. "Amber, wait. _Amber_."

I halted. I was breathing hard through my nose, hands shaking again. I stared at him, unable to believe that he could have ever hurt me this much. And for who? A girl who stabbed her friends in the back, who stole a boy she knew another girl liked? And then aimed low blows?

"Amber," Remus said quietly, searching my face. "Are we okay?"

I stared back wordlessly. Three years of friendship, loyalty, trust... He had known I had feelings for me. I couldn't believe how foolish I'd been. I had thought he felt the same way. But no. He had been leading me on. It wasn't something friends did to each other. Different emotions roiled through me. The strongest one was rage.

Slowly, I held out a hand. Remus smiled and shook it once.

Then I slapped him across the face.


	42. Crucio

Remus's head snapped to the side with the force of my slap. He immediately pressed a shocked hand to his cheek. Already, I could see the pink imprint rising where I'd struck him.

I hadn't noticed her come up. But Lily and Severus were there, standing just feet away. Lily's mouth was hanging open. Severus looked mildly shocked.

Remus turned his head slightly and looked at me. Surprise. Hurt. Confusion. Defensive anger. Before he could say or do anything in retaliation, I spun on my heel and hurried out of the Great Hall.

"Amber, wait!" Lily called, but I wasn't slowing down. I brushed past James and Sirius and Peter, who were goggling at me like I'd just sprouted a third head. Lily called for me again, more insistently, but I didn't stop until we reached the girls' bathroom. A few fourth-year girls were reapplying lip gloss. They looked up in surprise as we entered.

"Get out." Lily ordered. "...Please."

The girls gave me an appraising, haughty look, but listened to Lily. They left in procession. Lily tapped the door with her wand. "_Colloportus_." The door sealed locked at her incantation.

I went over to the sink and spun the brass knob. Cold water poured out of the faucet. I cupped my trembling hands under the flow and splashed my face and the back of my neck, scrubbing until every speck of make-up had washed away. Lily handed me a towel. I patted my face dry. My cheeks were pale, splotched with pink patches. My eyes stared back coldly.

I didn't regret hitting him. I didn't feel even a twinge of remorse for striking my best friend.

"I don't know what to say." Lily said quietly, spreading her hands. I noticed she had French nails for the occasion. She still had her flower in her hair.

"Well, that's a first." I retorted, bracing myself against the cold sink.

"Look, I'm sorry I pushed you so hard to come to the ball." Lily said. "I guess you weren't ready to see something like that."

I glared at her reflection in the mirror. "Don't patronize me. I knew what I was doing."

Lily folded her arms across her chest. "So, first you beat Angelina up, and then you slap Remus across the face? This isn't you, Amber."

I gazed back into my reflection, my haunted eyes. I touched a lock of slightly curly hair, thanks to Lily's cosmetic skill, and swallowed hard. "You're right."

Lily leaned against the wall. She waited patiently. I clenched my fist against the counter.

"You're not going to let me out of here until we talk, are you?"

Lily shook her head. "I'm here for the long haul, missy."

In spite of myself, I felt a small smile. Loyal Lily. I pushed away from the counter and paced around the bathroom. "I thought he had feelings for me."

"Maybe he did." Lily conceded. "But you shouldn't have been toying with his heart."

I gaped at her. "I would never do that! He's my friend!"

But Lily wasn't backing down. "Then how do you explain all of the time you spent with Locke? Remus really liked you, Amber. You hurt him by leading him on and then jumping to Sean."

I wanted to scream at her. "I didn't _jump _to Sean! I turned him down so that Remus could take me to the ball."

Lily went over to a fancy glass bowl and popped a yellow mint into her mouth. "You may not always realize it, but you can be very oblivious."

"So that gives Remus the right to hurt me?" I asked vehemently.

"You two deserve to be happy. Maybe that means you try with other people if you can't be more than friends. He loves you, Amber. Deeply. You can still love someone without being a couple, you know."

I wrung my wrists, trying to cope with the rush of powerful emotions coursing through me. Guilt. Confusion. Hurt. "I want him to be happy."

Lily raised a brow. "Then what was the slap for?"

I raised my eyes to her, searching her face intently. "How can he know how I feel about him, and feel the same way… and not want to be with me?"

She came over to the sofa where I sat, staring into my hands. I clenched and unclenched them. How could I be capable of such violence?

"We're young, I guess." Lily said softly. I leaned against her, closing my eyes, wishing I could be a child again, before all of these confusing hormones and changes arrived, before I lost Virginia, before I met Remus. Before. "We're still trying to figure things out."

"If he can't tell me how he feels about me, then what are we?" I asked her quietly, my heart twisting.

"I don't know." Lily replied, sighing. "Maybe he's trying to protect you."

_From what_? I wanted to ask. From his lycanthropy? From himself? The boys? I didn't understand.

"Just… try to forgive him." Lily advised. "Give yourself time to calm down and process. And then apologize."

I groaned. "But I don't want to."

Lily laughed. "You have to."

"Why?" I asked petulantly.

Lily pulled back slightly and looked at me. "To salvage your friendship. You've got accept that if you two aren't going to be together, then you're going to go out with other people. We're supposed to date around. That's how we find the right person."

I wanted to run from her wisdom, but a bigger part of me was drawn to it. I put my head in my hands, frustrated at my own lack of wisdom and experience. "But what if Remus _is _my right person?"

Lily began to braid my hair. It was strangely soothing and maternal gesture, reminding me of my mother, and how she would do the same for me when I was little. "He might be. But going out with other people might help you understand for sure."

"And we should stay friends?" I muttered through my hands.

Lily made a noise of approval. "You might not always have sunshine and rainbows, but you should always be there for each other. If you really care about someone, you don't just throw away the most important bond you have. Right?"

"That bond being…?"

Lily finished my braid. "Your friendship."

Her words sank in like rain on dry ground. I wanted to weep. Overcome with remorse and sadness, I leaned back and shut my eyes. I had cried enough tears. Buckets of them. Mostly for myself.

"You're going to be okay." Lily said consolingly. "You've been through a lot lately. It's okay to cry."

A small smile flickered across my face. "I guess we've got to grow up sometime."

Lily rose to her feet. "Want to get some ice cream? I know you know how to get into the kitchens."

I nodded. "That sounds good. Then I'd like to go drown myself in the lake."

Lily laughed. "Oh, Amber. You're so impossible." She said the counterjinx for the locked door and opened it. Standing on the other side, looking very surprised, was Angelina.

I stared back into her face for a moment. Swift anger rose automatically, but instead of letting it reign, I gave a curt nod to her. "Excuse us," I said, "I hope you have a good night."

Angelina looked stunned.

Lily led me away quickly before I could do anything else. She patted my hand proudly. "That's my girl."

* * *

The Christmas break was over quickly enough. After only two weeks home, I took the train back into Hogsmeade from Bellinghall station and tried to start fresh. Being away from Hogwarts had been cathartic. It had given me time to separate myself emotionally and physically from Remus. Though I still felt a twist of painful betrayal at the thought of him, I knew it was time to move on and relinquish my feelings to oblivion. Remus did not feel the same way I did. Granted, he cared for me, but merely as friends.

I penned him a letter as I sat in my bed, looking down from Ravenclaw Tower. I chewed on my thumbnail, agitated. How did I begin? What could I say to him? Even after two weeks, the confusing swirl of emotions made it hard to put feeling to words.

_Dear Remus_, I scrawled with my large brown quill. I paused and thought carefully before penning my next words. _I'm sorry about how things went down at the Ball. I wish I could make things easier._

I scowled and crumpled up the parchment, casting it into the brazier in the center of the tower-room. It smoldered and burned.

_Dear Remus_, I tried again. _I'm not sorry for what I did, because you were a foul little git. So was that little slut._

"No, I can't do that." I muttered, hurling the second draft into the embers. It was quickly consumed by fire. I crossed my legs and gazed out of the window. The grounds were covered in frosty white, the black lake a single pane of glass-like ice, shimmering in the dim winter light.

_Dear Remus, _I tried a third time. _I'm sorry. Are we still friends? I miss you. Please write back soon_.

_Amber Luna Harkstone_

"Good enough," I said to myself. I rolled up the parchment into a scroll and tied it with a blue ribbon. I walked the short distance to the Owlery. Soren fluttered down from his perch, resting lightly on my shoulder and holding out a leg. I attached the letter and watched him fly away. I didn't know if Remus had come back to Hogwarts yet; for all I knew, he was still in London.

My stomach cramped. I realized I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast much earlier in the day; a small chocolate-filled croissant and peach tea.

I made my way downstairs and into the Great Hall. It wasn't time for dinner; I had arrived after lunch and dinner wasn't to be served for hours yet. I made my way to the portrait of the ticklish fruit and ran a finger smoothly over the pear. It chuckled and the painting swung open. I climbed inside, careful to avoid stepping on the bare feet of the dozens of house elves. At once, five of them hurried to me, offering trays of various offerings.

"Anything vegetarian?" I asked hopefully. Two more elves came forward while another three backed away with their meat-based dishes. I selected two spring rolls and blueberry muffin and ducked back out of the kitchen. As I stood eating my food, I noticed a figure wearing black disappear around a corner and down toward the dungeons. Frowning, I swallowed the last bites of muffin and spring roll and followed.

The muffled sound of footsteps echoed in the dank, dark hall. Suits of armor stood statue-still, clutching spears and clubs. Downward the hall went, spiraling deeper under the school until the air was stale and musty. Wrinkling my nose, I made a tight turn down a small flight of stairs until the hushed sound of nearby voices made me halt. I crept closer, my heart thumping painfully in my chest as I caught sight of four figures standing just feet away in a threshold-like room. I silently backed into a nook in the wall that smelled like dust and decay. I fought the overpowering urge to sneeze by rolling my tongue back into my mouth and concentrating on anything but what I wanted to do.

"It hurts," a male voice said gruffly, "but it's done."

"Stop your whining." another said harshly. I recognized it as Logan Avery's. "You should be proud to wear that, Mulciber. It's an honor to bear that mark."

"I didn't think he'd actually give it to me." Mulciber said thoughtfully. I peeked around the corner and saw him flexing a muscular arm. His sleeve caught around his elbow and revealed a solid black shape on his inner forearm. "It didn't take long."

"Put it away!" Nott hissed. "Someone could come down and see."

"No one's coming." Mulciber said airily. "It's too early. Besides, we have Regulus patrolling for intruders."

My mouth went dry. Regulus? Sirius' little brother was patrolling? Clearly, he hadn't been doing his job, because here I was, eavesdropping on their little meeting.

"He's an arrogant little brat." Avery said darkly. "No better than Wilkes."

"Wilkes won't fail." Nott said firmly. "And didn't Folsom mention something about Rosier and Rookwood-"

"Those worms don't have the same loyalty we do." Mulciber spat. "Nor does Snape."

My lips parted. So Severus _was _still in company with these goons. I shut my eyes, wondering if I should tell Lily or not.

"We can't hope for them to participate." Avery said steadily. "We still have five months to prepare for the next move in the Dark Lord's plan."

My head was spinning. Whatever these thugs were talking about, it was evil. I could feel it like a dark, heavy, malevolent presence, choking the life out of me. But I had to know what evil they were planning.

"No students' been killed here since the Dark Lord was here." Avery went on, sounding almost excited. I wanted to be sick. "That legacy will change… remember Jericho Fleet?"

"Yeah, and good riddance." Mulciber snorted.

I couldn't stand here and listen to them any longer. I had to tell someone. Not Lily. She wouldn't understand. She may not even believe me. I had to go straight to a teacher. Maybe even Dumbledore.

I quietly slipped out of the nook and crept back up the stairs. I could hear their excited, low voices fading behind me as I followed the smell of fresher, cleaner air. I was nearly at the top of the stairs when I heard rapidly-approaching footsteps. I ducked behind a suit of armor just in time. Regulus Black was hurrying down toward the dungeons, a look of panic on his face.

My stomach lurched. I knew why he looked like that. He knew. He knew I'd been down there.

As soon as his robes flicked around the corner and out of sight, I jumped out from behind the armor and pelted toward safety. Anywhere away from there was better. Most students were still unpacking in their Common Rooms if they'd arrived at all. The castle was oddly quiet and still as I raced up the moving staircases. I was on the third floor when I dared sneak a look down the stairwell. Sure enough, three of the Slytherin boys were looking around. For me.

I took the steps two at a time. Like most students past their second-year, it was almost second nature to avoid certain steps. But in my haste, I forgot and lurched forward - hard - and nearly smacked my face into the next few steps.

My foot had become stuck in a trick step.

Fear pounded through me like a drum. I could hear them coming up the steps. It would only be a matter of time before they found me, before they caught me and did who knew what to me…

I tried to tug free, but it was useless. I was stuck, and unless someone came to help me, I was a sitting duck.

He came up the steps a few seconds later. Slightly out of breath and with a chilling look on his hard face, Mulciber drew out his wand from his cloak. A slow, horrible grin spread across his face. I had drawn my own but knew it was about as useful as a stick. Without my magical ability, I was helpless.

"Well, well, well." Mulciber said slowly, savoring the words. "What's this? A Ravenclaw with a broken wing?"

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't speak. I was concentrating on producing anything, even a simple Shield Charm or Disarming Spell, but I knew in my heart that the wand wouldn't cooperate. I was at his mercy, and he would show me none.

"So quiet." Mulciber breathed. He looked like a wolf ready to devour a lamb. "I personally like it when you put up a fight. It's more fun for me."

He was so close now that I could touch him. So I did what Muggles had to do. Without breaking eye contact, I pulled my fist back and slugged him in the jaw.

Maybe it was because he thought he'd had an easy win. But Mulciber was completely unprepared for my strike. I heard a sickening pop and watched as he stumbled back, falling down onto his backside ten feet below on a landing. I grappled with my leg and hustled to break free. With a final, frantic tug, my leg was freed. I scrambled up the stairs, but not before I felt like I had been struck by lightning.

Every fiber of my being was being electrocuted. This was torture, this was going to kill me… Surely, no one could survive long under this kind of pain. My eyes rolled back in my head as the curse consumed every cell. Pain obliterated every thought. I forgot my wand was still a wand, I forgot I was a witch, I forgot Remus, I even forgot my own name. The only thing I knew was that this was the worst pain I had ever been in… and I was going to die.

And just as suddenly, the excruciating pain stopped. I hadn't screamed, I hadn't made a sound. I was in too much pain to even squeak. Instead, I choked on every breath, trying to force air in, trying to get old air out. Trembling hard, I tried to steady myself, but it was no use. I was too weak from the curse.

"Mr. Mulciber," a cool female voice intoned. "would you mind explaining what's happened here?"

I managed to pick my head up enough to see Professor Smith, standing on a step just inches from me. She was glaring at Mulciber like he was a dog squatting on her front lawn.

Mulciber forced out a laugh. "Just trying to help Miss Harkstone up, ma'am. She tripped." He reached out a beefy hand. I had the little strength to slap it away. I saw a flicker of violence cross his eyes, but he was smart enough not to do anything in front of Professor Smith.

She helped me to my feet. Then she extended a hand to Mulciber, who looked confused and very slightly frightened.

"Yes?" He asked, sounding politely confused.

Professor Smith did not look the least bit convinced of his innocence. "Give me your wand."

For a split second, I thought Mulciber was going to have the dung brains to try something. Then he reluctantly handed over his wand.

Professor Smith's gaze never left his face as she tapped her wand against his. "_Priori incantatem._" She murmured.

Mulciber's wand jerked, as if it didn't want to obey. But then it shuddered once and a sinister red haze billowed out from the tip. Little forks of lightning flashed across the crimson cloud, giving it the impression of a miniature thunderstorm. Mulciber's face paled. For the first time, he looked truly afraid.

Professor Smith didn't look surprised. She tucked his wand into her belt and lifted her chin a notch. Mulciber swallowed convulsively.

"Using any of the Unforgivable Curses is an automatic life sentence in Azkaban." She said calmly. "Did you know?"

Mulciber looked sick. But he defiantly shook his head. "You can't prove I did it."

"No," she said thoughtfully, "but I know someone who can."

A muscle jerked in his cheek. My limbs were still jittery from the curse; I felt like I might be sick.

"Amber," Professor Smith said coolly, "wait for me in my office. It's perfectly safe. Don't open the door for anyone but me."

"Yes, Professor," I managed, glaring straight into the face of Mulciber, who looked back with dark eyes filled with venomous hatred.

"Come." Professor Smith ordered harshly to Mulciber. "We're going to see the headmaster."

At last, Mulciber tore his gaze away from mine. Professor Smith made him go before her. Smartly, she wasn't going to turn her back on a known enemy. I waited until they were out of sight before I rushed the rest of the way up the stairs and into her classroom. On shaking legs, I made it up the small flight of stairs into her office and shut the door. My hands shook badly as I sat down in an overstuffed chair. I buried my face in them, trying to process what had just happened.

The rumors and descriptions were true. The Cruciatus Curse truly was an Unforgivable one. Who could stand such torture for more than a few seconds? One would go mad before they died of overload from pain.

It seemed like an hour before the door opened and Professor Smith swept in. She turned and tapped the door, sealing it locked. She opened up a leather trunk and withdrew a pot of dried herbs and placed them in a strainer. She poured a pot of hot water over them into a china cup and handed it to me. I studied it uneasily.

"It'll help treat the shock," she said as she pulled out a bottle of firewhisky and poured herself a shot. Professor Smith downed it in one gulp. She chased it down with another before putting it away. I watched her, amazed. I was sure that teachers weren't allowed to drink.

"What's going to happen?" I asked after a sip of hot liquid. It was herbal, very slightly sweet, but mostly bitter. It was strangely soothing. I felt the jitters melting away as I took another few sips.

Professor Smith tucked a strand of hair back around her ears. She had it pulled back in a bun as usual. Her green eyes caught mine. "The Headmaster and Professor Slughorn have decided to expel William Mulciber from Hogwarts."

I nearly dropped the cup of tea. I had been expecting this, even hoping for it. But it was still a shock to hear it from her mouth.

"He'll be sent to Coxe Arrington's Institution." She went on. "The juvenile correctional facility for underage violators of magic."

I blinked. "And after?"

She met my gaze steadily. "He'll most likely end up in Azkaban. Perhaps for life."

I stared into the depths of my cup. A few loose tea leaves had drifted to the bottom in a crescent-moon shape. "Oh."

Professor Smith cleared her throat. "He won't be able to hurt you again, Amber."

I lifted my gaze to hers. She was probing, I knew she was. She knew I knew more than I was letting onto, and she was trying to get it out of me.

"I can't tell you why he attacked me." I said slowly. Her brilliant green eyes flickered.

"Why?" She asked. "Because you think you'll be harmed if you do?"

I glanced at her left arm. I had seen it once, glimpsed it. I swallowed another half-cup of tea before allowing her to refill it. I rose on steadier legs, moving to the window. I looked out onto the snowy grounds before turning back to face her. If I said it now, there would be no going back. But I had to know. I had to. "Because I know what you are."

Professor Smith's expression changed in a second. Her face immediately shuttered closed, like curtains being drawn across a window. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I hardly know what you mean."

I swallowed against the dryness in my throat. "I think you do."

She stared at me for a moment, silent. Then she gestured with a sweeping movement of her hand to the two red overstuffed armchairs sitting before her desk. A mahogany coffee table with a cedar tree painted on it sat between the two chairs. "Please, sit."

I watched her for a moment, then chose the chair to the right again. It was cushy and creaked under my weight; it was leather. It reminded me of the coffee house Remus and I had gone to together in Hogsmeade once, before our fight. The chocolate mochas had warmed more than just my fingers; they had warmed my cheeks, too. I realized, with a growing blush, that the coffees hadn't been the only reason for my elevated body temperature…

"Well." Professor Smith said brusquely, moving around her study. "Clearly, you had a good reason to speak to me, especially in such a way."  
She wasn't harsh, but I felt the uncomfortable squirm of shame niggling in my stomach. "I need to ask you something."

"Ask away, then." She said, sounding cool. She placed another cup of tea on the cedar coffee table for me, a second cup for herself on her desk. The aroma of chamomile and lavender wafted in the area.

Feeling a little sick, I took a sip of the hot tea and tried to find my words that I had so carefully thought about for weeks. After Folsom, after the unspoken incident in the Shrieking Shack, I'd been wondering and putting the pieces together. I could feel her green gaze pinning me to the chair. I tugged at my dress collar, too warm. "It's a personal question."

Professor Smith studied me. "I may answer it. I may not."

Flushing, I decided to ease into it rather than slap her in the face with the question. "When did you go to Hogwarts?"

She frowned slightly, probably wondering where I was going with this. "I began school in 1938. I graduated with six N.E.W.T.S. in 1945. I started my career as an Auror when I was twenty-two years old. I inherited Quality Quidditch Supplies from my father after he passed. Dumbledore offered me employment as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher last June, and I accepted. I was also, as you know, your personal tutor." She smiled at this, but it quickly faded, like a ray of sunlight vanishing behind a cloud.

I chewed over this information in my mind. "Did you ever get married?"

Professor Smith had been about to take a sip from her cup of tea. The question made her freeze, her mouth half-open, ready to drink her tea. She blinked several times, looking startled. Her mouth pressed into a grim line, and she replaced the cup of tea back on the table.

"No." She said at last.

I wondered if I had gone too far, but I decided to press on. "Did you go to school with Folsom?"

"Yes, I did." She said carefully, eyeing me now.

"Oh." I said. "Right. I forgot. Who else?"

She raised a brow. "Why is this important?"

The pounding had begun between my ears, the frenzied beat of panic. _Stay calm. Just ask her. _"I was just wondering… if you knew… Lord Voldemort. Personally."

Professor Smith's pale face drained of what little color had remained. She was so white that her china cup looked gray compared to her skin. Her hands trembled as she rose slowly to her feet and walked over to the window, overlooking the lake and the sprawl of the Forbidden Forest.

I watched her, the next question burning on my tongue. Her reaction had been as good an answer as I had expected. It confirmed my theory.

"I thought he was my friend." She confessed softly. "But Voldemort doesn't want friends. He never wanted help…" She trailed off, shaking her head sadly, her eyes shut tight. "Mackenzie was the one who suggested the idea of a new name to him. He hated Muggles. He still does. Our whole 'group'... we were all purebloods. I worry that something like that may arise within Hogwarts again."

"And it has." I said fervently, abandoning my attempt at trying to hold it back any longer. "There's a group of Slytherin boys… they're responsible for a whole load of things. Avery, he made Rina Queen Splinch herself. Remember when she had to go to the hospital wing? She was there for days. And Mulciber, he hates me. Regulus even tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on me in our first year. Mulciber did… today. You saved me. If you hadn't come, I think he would have killed me."

I shut my mouth, my eyes wide, suddenly worried that I had given away too much. Professor Smith still had her back to me.

"I don't suppose you know about the Death Eaters." She said quietly.

I watched her profile, the reddish tinge in her brown hair glinting in the late afternoon sun streaming through her office window. I couldn't see her scar, but I knew that she had more than just physical wounds ailing her. "I know a bit." I admitted.

"Then you should know enough that they are loyal to Lord Voldemort. And he never accepts anyone under sixteen. Though," she said, a cold, mirthless laugh escaping her, "Mackenzie thought he might make an exception for him."

"Who were the first Death Eaters?" I pressed, tantalizing close to the crux of the matter.

She paused again. "Tom always had a circle of companions… admirers, when he was at school. He was a handsome, polite, almost shy boy, and he drew sympathy from nearly everyone. When he got older, those who claimed to be in his confidences were involved in nasty incidents. The worst was when Myrtle Warren was killed. They never knew who did it or why, but they accused Hagrid. Tom did. Her ghost remains here. I tried to befriend her, but she was a difficult girl to be around. She was rather like your friend, Peter."

I thought of him; shy, awkward, and always gawking after the popular ones. James, Sirius, and even Remus were his idols. I chewed my lip, disturbed at how similar I was with this woman, my teacher. "When did the Death Eaters arise?"

"Not long after graduation." She sounded distant, vague. "Some swore fealty to him in school. A few people were even branded while in school, but remained hushed up until after exams and commencement."

Her left hand had traveled to her right forearm, where it was massaging the sleeve. I felt excitement bubble up inside of me.

"You're a Death Eater." I breathed.

Professor Smith snapped her head around so fast that I jumped. Her green eyes - to my complete astonishment - were not full of angry sparks or wrath. They swam with unshed tears.

"Haven't you ever done something you'll regret for the rest of your life?" Professor Smith whispered. She dropped her arms to her sides and swept to the other end of the room, her dark gray cloak billowing out behind her. I held my breath, a sick feeling rising in my throat at her words. I felt the familiar hand of guilt rise up and grip me by the throat tightly and relentlessly. Virginia's face swam before my vision, her laughing, happy face, the light of the sun dancing in her sky-blue eyes. The pallor of her sickness had faded, just in time for me to best the Whomping Willow and sentence her to death.

Without warning, tears overflowed my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. The weight of guilt and what I had done threatened to crush me. I shut my eyes tightly, blind to the room and to the fact that Professor Smith had been one of Voldemort's earliest followers.

"I have…" I whispered tightly. "I know what it's like."

There was a ruffle, like a cloth being shaken out. I opened my eyes and saw Professor Smith peering down at me like a hawk.

I sniffled hard, suffocating under the weight of my grief and my fault. I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to stomach it any longer. It fought like a beast out of me, ripping me apart from the inside out. I wondered if this was how Remus felt every month, completely helpless and at the mercy of the monster inside. After I had felt what it was like to want to die, to really be in enough pain that you would gladly embrace death… I didn't want any more secrets. I realized in that moment that I did not want to carry this burden to my grave.

"I killed my sister." I confessed, the words dragged out of me like thorns, scraping me raw. "It was me. It was my fault. I did it… and I haven't told anyone… It's my fault… all my fault…"

I buried my head in my hands, and wept.

Utter silence met my words. I let out the pain I'd been holding back for years, pain that had finally been tapped into today when Mulciber had cursed me. I couldn't hide it any longer. Like the lancing of a boil, I cried as I let the guilt and acceptance for my part in it consume me. It was out. My deepest secret was no longer within me, choking me. No matter what came to me now, I was free. I was clean. I could go in peace.

Professor Smith gently drew my wand from my cloak and set it on her desk. "Your wand hasn't worked for you all year."

I raised my tear-streaked face to hers. She was looking down at me with infinite sorrow. Professor Smith was a woman who clearly knew suffering and remorse, as I did. Whatever she had done in her past, she regretted it. Evil may have touched her life, but she didn't want any part of it.

"I bested the Whomping Willow." I confessed, my face crumpling again. "I got around the Murder Tree. Hagrid said… Hagrid said that anyone who gets the better of the Murder Tree will be cursed by it. That someone you love will die before the full moon. And my sister is dead. She died the night I got around the tree. It's my fault!" I suddenly wished Mulciber _had _finished the job; I couldn't live with the relentless shame now burning me to ashes.

Professor Smith poured me another cup of tea. She offered it to me. I smacked it away, letting it smash on the floor. I jumped to my feet and paced around the room, wanting to destroy for what I had done.

"Hagrid is a well-meaning man," Professor Smith said quietly. "But he is not always correct. Hagrid was misinformed."

"I killed my sister." I wept, lamenting. "I should have died, not her… not her…"

"Hagrid was wrong." Professor Smith said patiently. "The Whomping Willow can't lay a curse on anyone. It's a magical tree, but it's not a wizard. It can't curse you. Your sister was very ill."

"She was getting better!" I half-screamed. "Don't you get it? It's _my _fault! Mine!"

Professor Smith shook her head sadly. "No, dear one. You were misinformed. Your sister had a very rare, very secret kind of illness. She was dying from the moment she caught it. There was never any hope for her to get better. She was going to die of her illness, and she did eventually. Peacefully. She wouldn't have wanted you to suffer so much in her stead."

I had stopped moving. I was staring at Professor Smith as if I'd never seen her before. Slowly, her words were sinking into me, like raindrops into dry, thirsty earth. For the first time in two years, I felt hope blooming inside of me.

"You know what she had?" I asked quietly. My voice was reedy and thin. I sniffled hard, my nose feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds.

Professor Smith handed me a handkerchief and encouraged me to blow my nose. I felt instant relief as I did so.

"Your sister's illness was known to the Department of Mysteries," she said. "I'm not authorized to tell you what it was. But know this, dear one: your sister died of the illness. It was fatal. You did not cause her death."

"But… but the tree…" I stammered.

Professor Smith spread her hands. "It's nothing more than a myth."

I collapsed into the chair, my shoes crunching over the broken shards of china. A huge weight was lifting off of my shoulders. A weight I had carried for so long. I gazed at her, dumbstruck.

"I'm… I'm innocent?"

Professor Smith laid her hands on my shoulders in a motherly gesture. "Yes, Amber. You are innocent."

My face crumpled again. But this time it was tears of relief, not anguish.

"You've been carrying a heavy burden for too long." She said quietly. "As I did, for years. Too long do we waste our lives punishing ourselves over things we've done. And your guilt and grief has been extreme to the point of where you have lost your magical ability. But no more. Arise, child, and try again. Try a spell."

I rose on unsteady legs. I took up my ash wand, rolling it between my fingers. I pointed my wand tip straight at the window. "_Expecto Patronum."_

A huge silver shape burst free from the tip of my ash wand. Brilliant and iridescent blue, it loped around the room gracefully and powerfully, filling every dark corner and crevice with its light. I laughed and cried, overwhelmed by relief and joy.

I was free.

The silver griffin finally dissipated into the sunlight. I pointed my wand at the broken teacup on the floor. "_Reparo!"_

The cup instantly reassembled itself. I set it on the desk next to the teapot. Professor Smith looked proud and victorious.

"Well done." She said softly.

I looked at her again, breathless, stunned at how much my life had changed in the space of just a few hours. "I can't believe this. It's so… it's like I never lost it."

"You never did." Professor Smith said, smiling as she poured herself another cup of tea. "You always carried it with you, Amber, and now, you are free."

I didn't know what to say. Finding out the truth, accepting it, having my powers fully restored, finally producing a corporeal Patronus… there was no way to express my gratitude to her.

"Thank you." I said simply, each word filled with so much more than just two syllables.

Professor Smith sipped her tea. I hardly noticed her garish scar as she dabbed away a tear. "Go in peace, little one. You are safe now."

I was about to leave, one hand on the knob, when I looked back once more. "Professor… you really were a Death Eater, weren't you?"

Professor Smith set her cup of tea down. She pursed her lips. "Yes, I was. Dumbledore knows. But I would appreciate it if you would keep that fact between the three of us."

After all she had done for me, how could I not? "I promise."

Professor Smith smiled again. "Go on. Show your friends what you can do."

I didn't need telling twice. I raced through the classroom and out the door, heedless of anything else. I could do anything now. I wasn't the somber girl held down by guilt. I was innocent. I was powerful. Mulciber was gone.

I didn't watch where I was going. I didn't see him until I had run straight into him. I smacked against a wall of flesh and bounced back, landing on the ground. I blinked and squinted over at the one I'd hit.

Remus had been walking in my direction, pulling his trunk behind him. He muttered an expletive as he tried to gather his dropped books.

"Remus!" I cried. He looked up at me, face going slack, then carefully blank.

"Amber," he said formally. Clearly, he hadn't gotten my letter.

Laughing, I launched myself forward into him. I hugged him tightly until he protested, absolved of my dementor-like guilt once and for all. I didn't care anymore that we had fought or that he could be a downright git. I didn't care that he was with Angelina, or that he didn't have romantic feelings for me. All I cared was that he was here, here in my life, and that we cared about each other.

"Ouch, Amber!" Remus moaned. "What's the matter with you? Let go."

I pulled back, laughing at his absolutely bewildered face. He looked ready to run for his life at my abrupt change toward him.

"Oh, Remus," I said breathlessly, "I'm so sorry about everything. For being such a prat. Can we make up? Can we just be friends again?"

Remus' mouth gaped open. He seemed to be floundering for speech. "I… uh… well… yes, of course."

"What's going on?" James and Sirius mounted the stairs, Peter close behind, all three looking very surprised. "Are you going to kiss and make up now?"

Remus turned pink, but I sprang to my feet, wand at the ready. "Guys," I said, grinning, "wait until you see what I can do."


	43. The Unforgivable Curses

Between Quidditch and homework and spending time with my friends, time passed quickly. Winter melted away into spring. The snows evaporated into humid clouds of condensation. Spots of flowers blossomed along the slopes of the castle and the mountains. Warmer air blew in, bringing with it the tantalizing first hints of coming summer. Remus and Angelina remained a couple, but James and Sirius made it clear she wasn't welcome in our Marauder outings. Remus, to my surprise, hadn't protested, but seemed grateful for the chance to get away from her. Angelina was clingy and had the tendency to overwhelm, an unwelcome presence in our crowd of hard exteriors and practical jokes.

Even though Remus was dating Angelina, I felt lighter than I had all year. After my talk with Lily in the girl's lavatories and my confession to Professor Smith, my heart was freed from the heavy bondage of false guilt. Virginia had died because of her illness, _not _because of me. I didn't have to punish myself simply for living while she had died, because it wasn't my doing. Thanks to Professor Smith and her confidentiality, I wasn't bound to my sister's death any longer. I was still friends with Remus, though I had noticed a chasm that hadn't been fully bridged form between us. I wasn't sure when we would ever span that distance again.

But best of all, I could do magic again.

It was as if my wand had been in hibernation. It wasn't dead like I had originally suspected. Like Professor Smith said, it had merely been sleeping, dormant, waiting for me to cleanse my soul by releasing the supposed truth from inside of me.

_The wand chooses the wizard_, I had read in one of my many books, and I believed it fully now. The ash wand that Ollivander had procured for me had produced a corporeal Patronus for me. The first spell after months of nothing, and it was an advanced Charm that few ever mastered.

With my guilt gone and my jealousy towards Angelina banished (though not without frequent struggle), I quickly ascended back to the top ranks of students in our year, second only to Lily and slightly ahead of Remus. My grades had rankled somewhat when my wand hadn't worked, but now I was contending with Lily for valedictorian of our third year class.

Hogwarts was still honoring Helga Hufflepuff's 1000th birthday. Predictably, Hufflepuff's hourglass was filled nearly to the top with yellow diamonds. Next was Ravenclaw's, a few inches lower, and then Gryffindor, whose glass was almost as low as Slytherin's, thanks to the many antics of James and Sirius. May was already halfway through, and in just a few more weeks, final exams would take place, and then the summer holiday would commence.

But the teachers didn't slow down their paces. In fact, they increased the amount of homework and crammed in more material during lectures. I found all of it intriguing and enjoyed the extra reading assignments, but my appetite for learning was little shared among the other third year students. Only Lily seemed to enjoy it as much as I did.

In one of our last chapters of the year for Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Smith decided to cover material more thoroughly studied in our fourth year. When we arrived in the classroom, she had written three names on the chalkboard in her elegant white calligraphy: _Imperio, Crucio, _and _Avada Kedavra._

Unease filled me as I took my seat at the front of the room. I hadn't told anyone about what had transpired between Mulciber and I in January. Only Professor Smith and Professor Dumbledore knew.

Seeing the word _Crucio _made me shiver. I would never forget the all-consuming agony I'd felt that day, as if I was burning on a pyre, every fiber of my being burning up with relentless fire. I watched as Remus sat down beside me. He had chosen a seat near the aisle, so that only I could sit beside him.

Angelina bounced over with Zoey MacDonald. Both girls were giggling and gossiping as they approached, but when they saw that Remus wasn't sitting in a free row of three, they stopped. Angelina glared down at me and put her hands on her hips.

"Excuse me," she said airily, raising a thin brow.

I looked back in mock surprise. "You're excused."

Remus' mouth twitched as he fought to keep from laughing. Angelina rolled her eyes and jerked her thumb backwards.

"Up. You're sitting next to my boyfriend. That's where _I _sit."

"Not today." I said lazily, twirling my wand in the air, before pointing it straight at her too-perfect face. "Not unless… you'd like to trade my seat for a pig's nose?"

Angelina flushed red. "You wouldn't."

I grinned and gave the wand a casual flick. Angelina clapped her hands over her face as her nose began to change.

"Alright, alright!" She snapped. "Change it back! But this isn't going to a regular thing, you know."

"Sure it's not." I said indifferently as she and Zoey moved to the only available seats left, in the back row. Smug, I pointed the wand at Remus and waited for him to notice.

"Hey guys." Lily said brightly as she sat down beside me. She glanced over at Remus. "Wow, nice tail."

"I beg your pardon?" Remus glanced over his chair and inhaled sharply. "_Amber_!"

Laughing, I reached over and brushed his brand-new wolf's tail. "Don't you like it? It really personifies the beast within."

Remus looked half-annoyed, half-amused. "Come on. Get rid of it, please."

"Okay, but it'll be back within a few weeks." I tapped my wand and muttered the countercurse. The tail disappeared.

Remus shook his head. "You're impossible."

"Kind of like you."

Remus smiled and pulled out his quill and a fresh roll of parchment. His smile disappeared. "Aren't those…?"

"The Unforgivable Curses." Professor Smith said clearly, finishing his sentence for him. The buzzing classroom instantly quieted. Lessons with Professor Smith were never dull, and this one promised to deliver.

"Can anyone tell me why these curses are called 'unforgivable'?" She asked. Instantly, Lily's hand shot up first.

"They're called unforgivable because using any of them will put you in Azkaban for life."

"And is one permitted a trial?" Professor Smith asked. Lily faltered.

"The answer is 'yes'," Professor Smith said. "In our government, the accused are allowed due process. If everyone went around claiming that they saw so and so performing an unforgivable curse, Azkaban wouldn't have enough cells to fit the accused inside. Can anyone tell me what the names of these curses are, aside from their incantations?"

Again, Lily was first to answer. "The Imperius Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, and the Killing Curse."

"Very good, take ten points for Gryffindor." Professor Smith said, frowning at the row behind ours. "And take away five for misconduct, thank you very much Mr. Potter and Mr. Black."

Lily and I turned and glared at the two of them. They were each holding a mirror in their hands, and quickly stowed them away at our attention. Rolling my eyes, I turned and faced the front of the classroom again.

"The law states that anyone using one of these curses on a Muggle or magical person will spend the rest of their lives in Azkaban prison, if proven guilty." Professor Smith continued. "These three curses are the most powerful and sinister of all dark spells. It is my job to teach you how to protect yourself from the Dark Arts. You will want to take notes on the next few things I say."

There was a mad scrabbling for parchment and quills; Professor Smith waited a few seconds before speaking again.

"The first curse, the Imperius Curse, places the victim under total control of the caster. A person with exceptional strength of will can overpower the curse and render it harmless, but when I say exceptional, I mean it. If you suspect someone or yourself is under the Imperius Curse, check for a few telltale symptoms. They will feel as if they are under a trance, free of responsibility, and will take any order from the caster. Physically, their eyes will have cataract-like cloudiness in their retinas. This can vary in noticeable depending on the strength of the spell. If you suspect someone is under the Imperius Curse, they can only be freed by the caster, or if they overcome the spell themselves.

"The Cruciatus Curse is the torture curse. Its name implies everything you can imagine. It was invented in the Dark Ages and was once very popular, and, yes, legal. Does anyone know when they were outlawed and named Unforgivable?"

Lily answered. "1717."

"Five points for Gryffindor, excellent Lily. The Cruciatus Curse will inflict illusionary but very powerful feelings of excruciating pain. If done too much or for too long, one can go insane, or die."

Her words hung in the air. I could feel my heart racing, pounding against my ribcage. I could feel Mulciber's stare boring into me as threatened me, could feel the imaginary flames licking at my flesh and bones. I shut my eyes and tapped my hand against my thigh, trying to focus on the rhythm instead of Professor Smith's lesson.

"Hey," Remus said quietly, "you okay?"

I shook my head tightly. Professor Smith went on, but I wasn't listening. Only when she said, "any questions about the Killing Curse?" did I finally look up, sweat beading on my brow, my stomach churning.

"Amber," Remus said again, dropping his voice even lower, "should I take you to see Madam Pomfrey?"

"No." I replied in a small voice. All Madam Pomfrey would do would be to drug me up on mandragora and have me sleep off the bad memories. But I wanted to be alert and awake, never again caught off-guard from such a vicious attack.

Remus looked worried, but I didn't cave to his pleadings. Instead I raised my hand and watched Professor Smith's expression flicker slightly.

"Yes, Miss Harkstone."

"Professor," I said evenly, "how do we defend ourselves? Are we allowed to use extreme force?"

Professor Smith digested my question. "You are authorized, under normal circumstances, to use equal force against an attack."

"But what about Unforgivable Curses?" I asked. "If someone is using the Cruciatus Curse on us, or trying to, can we use it against them without penalty?"

I could feel the eyes of every student on me. From my peripheral vision, I could feel Lily's eyes bugging out at me. Faint heat rose to my cheeks, but I wanted to know if I was allowed to give Mulciber a taste of his own medicine, if I ever saw the sleazebag again.

Professor Smith, at last, nodded once. "Yes. Under dire life-or-death circumstances, you are legally allowed to use extreme force against an attacker. But let it be known to you, children, that taking a life isn't as easy as the innocent believe it is."

I wondered if she was thinking about her younger years. With a jolt, I debated the possibility that she herself had taken the life or lives of others while following the Dark Arts.

I pushed the disturbing thought away, instead bolstering my relief in knowing that if I ever faced Folsom or Mulciber again, I would be able to defend myself, even if it meant they lost their lives.

A few more classmates piped up with questions about the three curses, but I wasn't listening. Instead I dropped my voice low enough so that only Remus could hear it. "I think we should meet later, with the others."

His brows lifted. "Alright. I'll tell them."

"After dinner, in the Shack."

"Done."

"Professor," Angelina asked loudly from the back of the room, "what does it feel like to be under the Curses?"

I turned to look back at Angelina. She was twirling a lock of shiny black hair around one finger, looking more interested in her hair than the actual answers. Professor Smith crossed her wrists in front of her, looking grim.

"As said before, Miss Azadian," Professor Smith said pointedly, "the Imperius Curse puts one under a dreamlike trance, a wonderful, responsibility-free state. The Cruciatus Curse inflicts extreme illusionary pain that can render the victim incapacitated or insane."

"And the last one?" Angelina said. I rolled my eyes, astounded at how thick she could be.

Professor Smith frowned. "If you were hit with the Killing Curse, Miss Azadian, I doubt you would feel anything after that, because you'd be dead."

* * *

The Shrieking Shack creaked and groaned as we ascended the steps. Sirius plodded after us, in his black dog form, leaving pawprints behind in the dust. So far, he was the only one who had been able to become an Animagus. Peter still hadn't been able to produce a corporeal Patronus.

"Bloody hell, your girlfriend's annoying, Moony." James grumbled as he pulled out a stack of cards. "Anyone up for a game of Exploding Snap?"

I took a seat at the old table, tapping the surface. "_Scourgify_."

Layers of thick dust vanished. Remus grimaced as he conjured little blue balls of bright flame and dropped them in Mason jars, placing them on the table to give some illumination.

"I wish you'd just break up with her, mate." Sirius complained. "She's so annoying. And what was with that question today? How does the Killing Curse feel? Really?"

"She's pretty, though." Peter put in, drawing a card from the pile.

I remained silent. If I said how I really felt about her, it would only end badly between Remus and I. Instead I produced a small basket full of muffins I'd taken from the kitchens and let the boys devour them.

"So, Lionheart," James said casually as he drew a card, "why'd you call a meeting? Feeling social or do you have something to tell us?"

I took a small breath before deciding it was time to tell them. "I know why Mulciber was expelled."

The boys all looked surprised. Sirius took a huge bite from a muffin and swallowed hard. "I thought he got too many infractions on his record. He's a lowlife creep. Probably wrote graffiti in the bathrooms or something."

"Probably." James agreed.

Remus was watching me intently. "What is it, Amber?"

I took a card from the stack and avoided their faces. "He used the Cruciatus Curse on me in January."

Sirius had dropped his muffin. James' mouth was hanging open. Peter covered his mouth. Remus looked murderous.

"It was only for a few seconds." I said, picking at a muffin. "Professor Smith intervened and brought him to Dumbledore. He was expelled right away."

"How…" James trailed off, lost for words for once.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus demanded.

I met his gaze now. "I didn't think you needed to know."

I was surprised to see how hurt Remus looked. Folding his deck down, he jumped to his feet and paced around the room. "Bloody hell, Amber."

Disconcerted, I tangled my fingers together. "And then after I spoke privately with Professor Smith, I bumped into you lot and showed you my Patronus."

"A griffin, who knew." James said.

"It fits." Sirius said. "You were a Hatstall, right? Half-Ravenclaw, half-Gryffindor. Half-eagle, half-lion. A griffin. It fits."

I nodded. "I guess so."

"He _tortured _you." Remus said in a ragged voice from the shadows. His back was turned to us, but I could see tremors shaking his body.

"I'm fine, though." I reassured him. "Now I've got protection against Folsom, _and _I can use the curse against him if I have to. Mulciber and Folsom."

"Why was he using it on you in the first place?" James asked curiously. "I know he's a thug, but that's extreme for just a little fun."

"Oh." I had forgotten to mention their secret meeting. I explained what I had overhead, bringing up the incident a year prior when I had tried to sneak back to Ravenclaw Common Room after taking Polyjuice Potion to look like Lily.

"I think they were planning something." I finished, taking a card from the pile. "I almost wonder if they had something to do with the attack on Platform 9 ¾ this fall."

Peter had gone very white. Remus was pacing around the room, looking agitated. James and Sirius looked contemplative.

"I mean, it fits, doesn't it?" I argued. "They were gloating about Jericho Fleet's death. And they were all close with Folsom, right? Maybe he's still controlling them. He's Voldemort's right-hand man."

"Maybe." Sirius allowed. "But Amber-"

"_Sirius_."

"Sorry, Harkstone. What if they're just talking big? I mean, they're jerks and they're scary, but they're just kids like us. They couldn't pull off something that big."

"One of them used an Unforgivable Curse on me." I reminded me. "And your brother tried, last year."

Sirius closed his mouth, looking like he wanted to say more, but wasn't willing to expose any more darkness about his brother. James cleared his throat.

"So, what do you think we should do?" He said. "Report to Dumbledore?"

"He's already watching them, I know it." I insisted. "I think… maybe we should train ourselves. You know, instead of focusing on become Animagus."

"We're doing that for Remus." James shot back. "Sirius has already got it down. I'm close, I can feel it. Maybe another year at most. Peter's got two years, right, Pete?"

Peter nodded. He looked sick with apprehension.

"I just think maybe it's a good idea to be proactive." I explained. "If they can attack Platform ¾, think about it. What's stopping them from attacking Hogwarts?"

James waved me off. "Oh, Harkstone. We've got Dumbledore here. And Professor Smith and McGonagall. We've got a whole staff to keep us safe."

I shook my head, fighting off the rising frustration. "I don't care, James. If those Slytherin boys can skulk around at night like we can, without detection, and plot and actually _carry out _a plan at a public place like King's Cross, then it's only a matter of time before it happens at school. Professor Smith said the Death Eaters were active in her time at school. That wasn't that long ago."

"She's like fifty!" Sirius retorted.

I drew my chin up. "She's forty-seven. And what do we know about history?"

"Those who don't learn from it are doomed to repeat it." Remus recited quietly from the shadows.

"Right." I spread my hands out, emboldened by his words. "Guys, Dumbledore isn't _always _at Hogwarts. Call it women's intuition or common sense, but I can feel it. Something's not right. Those boys are planning something again, and they're going to try something."

"When?" Sirius challenged. Maybe he was defensive because his little brother was part of the sinister group.

"When Dumbledore's not around." I theorized. "They'll look and wait for a weak spot. Isn't that how the strongest enemies strike? And I'm sure I saw a Dark Mark on Mulciber. I think they're Death Eaters."

James snorted. I felt indignant fury rising. I fought to keep it from overpowering me.

"I think you're overthinking this a bit." James said calmly, adding another card to his hand. "Yes, those guys are bad news, and yes, they overstep the boundaries, but I don't know if they're capable of _murder_."

"I'm with James." Sirius said readily. I clenched my fists at my sides.

"This isn't something I've thought of lightly!" I snapped. "This is serious! I know you'd rather pretend that there's no danger because you want to be comfortable. But ignorance isn't a luxury we can afford anymore."

"I'm sorry, Harkstone, but it's just not logical." James said, frowning. "I mean, they know Dumbledore's watching now. And even though Death Eaters were blamed for the attack on Platform 9 ¾, they're just too young to be Death Eaters."

"All of them are over sixteen, except for Severus and Regulus." I said coldly.

Sirius snorted. "Oh, come on. _Snivellus, _a Death Eater?"

I had had enough. I drew a final card, which promptly exploded.

"Game over." I laid down my remaining cards and pushed my chair back. "I hope you dunderheads realize I'm serious before it's too late."

"Just calm down!" James called after me. "You worry too much."

Remus followed me down the stairs. I shook my head as he jammed his hands into his pockets.

"I think you've got a point." Remus said quietly. "I can feel something's off."

I shrugged. "Thanks, Remus."

The silence hung between us as we walked in tandem down the earthen tunnel that would lead to the Whomping Willow. I couldn't believe that at one point, I had given so much power to the tree. I still felt bewilderment at times that I could have been so foolish.

"Amber," Remus said roughly in the dim gloom of the tunnel, "I'm really sorry about what happened between us. With the Ball and everything."

I hadn't thought of it in awhile. His words brought the memories fresh back into my mind. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to banish them back to oblivion.

"I never meant to hurt you." Remus went on. "I mean, I thought… I thought you and I…"

"Remus." I said shortly. "Do me a favor and stop talking."

Remus didn't speak again until we reached the castle. Then he turned and faced me, looking upset.

"You're my best friend." He said, green eyes iridescent in the light of the waxing moon. "You know that, right?"

I searched his face, trying to see how anyone who could be so close to me could hurt me so much and still want to be friends. I wondered how I could have read the stars between us wrong. Had I imagined all of the hand-holdings, the embraces, the long periods of togetherness when we had just _been_?

But regardless of my confusing, betraying emotions, I knew instinctively that Remus was exactly what he proclaimed to be. Even more than Lily, he had a bigger part of my heart, a deeper level of understanding than anyone I'd ever met.

"I know." I said simply. I leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek, before turning and beginning the long lonely trek back to the Ravenclaw Tower.

* * *

Three weeks passed, and nothing happened. No explosions, no bodies turning up, no horrible things. In part, I was relieved, but a bigger part warned me that the danger was not over.

At breakfast in the early days of June, Angelina marched up to me, arms folded across her chest, her eyes puffy and red from crying.

"I hope you enjoy my leftovers, Harkstone." She spat in a quavering voice.

I frowned at her over my plate of eggs and toast. "No thanks, I'm not on the South Bitch diet."

Angelina let out a little scream of fury and snatched up a glass of water. She threw it in my face and stalked down the aisle toward the entrance of the Great Hall, bawling. Zoey MacDonald hurried after her. "Angelina, wait!" She cried, brushing past me.

Lily, who was sitting next to me, clapped her hand over her mouth. Pursing my lips, flicked my hand, sending droplets of water everywhere. Lily handed me a napkin, but I waved her off.

"Just use a Hot-Air Charm." I muttered, aware that many students were staring at me, most of them pointing and laughing.

"What a drama queen." Lily growled as she pointed her wand at me. "_Siccumus_."

A blast of hot air made my hair fly back and my robes ripple. A minute later, I was dry, my hair a frizzy mane of honey-colored tresses.

"Oh, dear," Lily fussed, drawing her wand again. "Let me fix that."

Professor Smith had come over from the staff table. She raised a brow. "I'm sorry, Miss Harkstone, but your hair is much too tall. It's a danger to all low-flying aircraft."

"I thought electricity didn't work around Hogwarts." I grunted as Lily smoothed out the wild snarls of hair. "Too much magic in the air."

Professor Smith chuckled. "Five points for Ravenclaw, for wit. Actually, Miss Harkstone, I need to have a word with you."

I glanced over at the Gryffindor table. Remus had been looking at me, but averted his gaze when I made eye contact.

"Is everything alright?" I asked uneasily.

Professor Smith's smile disappeared. Tension knotted my insides.

"Please, come with me to my office. We need to go right away."

"Can I come?" Lily asked. "I mean, is that allowed?"

Professor Smith sighed. "I'm afraid not, Miss Evans. Miss Harkstone will be the only one needed."

Lily quickly finished my hair. "Whatever it is, don't believe it. I think Angelina Azadian's trying to get her in trouble."

Professor Smith made a noise. "Thank you, Miss Evans, but Miss Azadian has made no accusations against Miss Harkstone. Come along."

I rose slowly and followed Professor Smith out of the Hall. The first scents of heavy summer air drifted in through the windows, enticing me. I was already planning on venturing down to the lake after class to study with Lily and some of her female Gryffindor friends underneath the sprawling beech tree. I hoped whatever Professor Smith had to say wouldn't take long.

Professor Smith opened the door to her office. To my astonishment, two wizards in formal robes were sitting in the red chairs before her desk. Professor Smith gave me a meaningful look through intense green eyes before speaking in a light, careful tone.

"Amber, this is Augustus Rookwood and Barty Crouch. They're officials from the Ministry of Magic."

She sounded casual, but I detected a credence of warning in her tone. Carefully schooling my face blank, I nodded to each of the men.

"Hello." I said calmly.

Augustus Rookwood smiled. "You must be Walter's eldest daughter."

He sounded fatherly, kind, but his placement came off as strange. "I am."

Barty Crouch rose and extended a hand to shake. He couldn't have been older than Professor Smith, but his temples were already white-gray and his face was lined with age. "Barty Crouch, Head of Department of Magical Law."

I took his hand and shook it. Mr. Crouch made a noise in his throat.

"Good firm grip." He said shortly. He waved his wand and produced another chair, a stiff wooden chair with no cushion and gestured for me to sit down. I did, crossing my legs nervously.

"Amber, Mr. Crouch and Mr. Rookwood have some questions for you." Professor Smith said, pouring four cups of tea at her desk.

"Questions about what?" I asked, trying to sound calm, but my voice shook a little.

"A few days ago, we received a letter giving explicit details concerning the attack on Platform 9 ¾ on September 1st, 1972." Mr. Crouch said. "And in addition to those details, we were also warned that another attack was imminent in the near future. This time, at Hogwarts."

I looked between the two men. "Why are you telling me this?"

Mr. Rookwood blinked in surprise. "Because, my dear," he said, "the letter was addressed from you."


	44. Imperio

Professor Smith handed me a cup of tea. I took it, the warmth seeping into my cold fingers. I looked between the faces of Mr. Rookwood and Mr. Crouch, at a complete loss.

"It was very brave of you to come forward." Mr. Rookwood said gently. "Even after you were threatened with violence by those responsible."

"We need names," Mr. Crouch added, a quill in his hand, poised over a piece of parchment he conjured from the air.

I shook my head, the tea almost too hot in my hands now. "I didn't send any letters, sir."

There was a beat of silence. Then Mr. Rookwood chuckled and took a slurp of tea. "Oh, come now, dear, you're perfectly safe with the Ministry. We can offer you full protection and ensure that you remain anonymous."

"Please, Miss Harkstone," Mr. Crouch implored, "the lives and safety of other students depend on you."

Confusion was quickly being replaced by frustration. "I didn't send the Ministry a letter. I've never sent them anything."

Mr. Crouch's smile vanished. A muscle jerked in his cheek as he set his cup down on the cedar coffee table.

"Listen, child," he said quietly, "we must act quickly, or we will suffer the consequences."

"Here." Mr. Rookwood passed forward the letter. "Have a look for yourself."

Filled with trepidation, I accepted the proferred roll of parchment. It was wrinkled and severely creased. Clearly, this letter had been read by many people, many times.

_Dear Ministry of Magic,_

_I'm not sure who to talk to, but you need to know that sometime in June 1973, there is going to be another attack like the one on Platform 9 ¾. It will happen when the Hufflepuff Games commence. The same people, the Death Eaters, will carry out this plan in the name of Lord Voldemort. Names of those participating are William Mulciber, Logan Avery, Edward Nott, Severus Snape, and Regulus Black are just a few that I am certain will attack in this heinous plan. Please stop them with whatever force you can._

_Amber L. Harkstone_

The letter fluttered from my hand to the ground. Mr. Crouch snatched back up, sniffing once and clearing his throat. "So, there you have it. Your own writing, in your own words."

"I… I don't understand." I hadn't written this. Whoever _had_ must have had a purpose for using my name. Perhaps it was Mulciber, trying to frame me for a hoax in order to cast doubt on my reputation. My hands shook as I took another sip of tea, nearly scalding my tongue.

"Miss Harkstone, please," Mr. Rookwood begged, "this is a very serious accusation. Before we can give any merit to bolster confidence in this threat, we must know if it was a hoax or not."

My gaze pinned him where he sat. "You think I would make something like this up? Even if I _had _written it, which I _didn't_?"

Mr. Crouch stood up, pacing restlessly. "We have no choice. Willow, if she doesn't want to talk willingly, then we'll have to give her Veritaserum. Professor Slughorn must have plentiful stocks of it."

"Barty, really," Mr. Rookwood moaned, "using truth serum? On a girl no older than thirteen?"

"I've already given her some. In her cup." Professor Smith said calmly, surprising us all, even me. I gaped at her.

"You _gave _her Veritaserum?" Mr. Crouch repeated. "Without my authority?"

Professor Smith looked at Mr. Crouch coolly. "You may not trust me, but Dumbledore does. And that should be enough verification in my trustworthiness for you, Barty."

Mr. Crouch's face filled with color. "And then, who, I suppose, wrote this?" He looked at me accusingly, as if I was witholding the information he wanted.

"I don't know!" I half-shouted. "Honestly! I don't know who would write that letter in my name unless it was someone trying to frame me or trying to hide!"

"Perhaps." Mr. Rookwood allowed. He took a thoughtful sip of his tea. "Then, dear one, is there anyone you can think of who would do this?"

I bit my lip. Mulciber, of course. But if he was locked away in Coxe Arrington's, how could he write a letter to the Ministry? Maybe Regulus…

Or Sirius. James? Surely they wouldn't do this. This wasn't a prank. This was going too far.

_Angelina?_

"Don't you have magic that you can use to trace letters with?" I asked loudly. "I mean, shouldn't two high-ranking Ministry officials be able to do that kind of thing?"

I had spoken in defensiveness, and it showed. Mr. Rookwood looked startled, but Mr. Crouch's pink face turned mottled red with rage.

"Insolence!" He barked, pointing at Professor Smith. "Is this the kind of behavior we can expect from a Hufflepuff? You're Head of Hufflepuff House!"

Professor Smith looked amused. "Actually, she's a Ravenclaw."

"Couldn't tell by the blue tie?" I asked cynically.

Mr. Crouch's upper lip twitched. "You two think this is some kind of joke, do you? Lives are potentially at stake! We must act now, before this Lord Voldemort character takes his agenda even more into the public!"

"Look, Mr. Crouch," I said, trying to sound more appeasing, "I didn't write that letter and I don't know who did. But I can assure you, those boys listed in the letter do need watching."

His intense black eyes swiveled to me. "And what makes you say that?"

I glanced at Professor Smith for approval before going on. "They were very close with Mackenzie Folsom last year."

"The vampire." Professor Smith clarified. "Formerly known as 'Vincent' Folsom. We went to school with him, remember, Barty?"

"Not particularly." Mr. Crouch said dryly. "And what exactly have these boys done to make you believe they are dangerous?"

"William Mulciber used the Cruciatus Curse on me." I said steadily, though my heart thumped painfully in my chest at the unpleasant memory. "And I've seen the others, sneaking around together in the night like worms. If anyone in this school would be up to something, it's them."

Mr. Crouch shook his head. "I'm afraid that we can't take the words of a thirteen-year-old girl, who may or may not have written, if we're honest, a fake letter to the Ministry. Were these boys bullies to you? Ever go out of their way to make fun of you or hurt you?"

Indignant heat rose into my cheeks. I set my cup down hard. "What does that to do with this? Why don't you believe me?"

"We need proof before we can act." He said swiftly.

I pointed to the letter. "You readily believed that piece of paper. You readily accepted it as mine, even though it's not. Yet you don't believe me now, when I'm speaking to you. Is this the kind of men who run our government?"

Mr. Crouch stood up so fast I jerked back, afraid. But he merely glared down at me reproachfully before snapping his fingers. "Come, Rookwood. We're leaving. Clearly, this was a waste of time."

"Barty…" Mr. Rookwood pleaded.

But Mr. Crouch wasn't having any of it. He strode to the fireplace, threw a fistful of Floo powder inside, and said tautly, "_Ministry of Magic" _and vanished in a rush of green flames.

I was breathing hard, feeling like I had just stared down a dragon. Mr. Rookwood gave a long, gusty sigh.

"Well, that went about as well as I expected." He stood and gathered up his briefcase and my letter. Professor Smith offered him a tray of biscuits. He took one, nibbling it thoughtfully.

"Mr. Rookwood, please," I implored, "I didn't write that letter, but those boys are up to something heinous. Please don't overlook them."

Mr. Rookwood gazed down at me sadly. "You look very much like your father, you know. I can see some of Lena in there too, but it's hard to believe how quickly time passes."

I didn't know what to say to that odd comment. Instead I smoothed out the pleats in my skirt. Professor Smith nodded to Mr. Rookwood in farewell. A moment later, he had followed Mr. Crouch into the hearth and vanished in green fire.

The room suddenly felt much emptier without the two large men. Awkwardly, I crossed and uncrossed my ankles. Professor Smith carefully put away her teapot and tray of cookies before addressing me.

"Amber, you need to be more careful."

My chin snapped up. "What?"

She slid a meaningful look at me. "What I mean is that you have enemies. For whatever reason, someone tried to get you into trouble with the authorities _and _set you against those Slytherin boys."

"Do you think Folsom wrote it?" I asked her, immediately fearing the worst. My palms grew sweaty again. I wiped them against my thighs.

Professor Smith sighed. "I don't know, Amber. Maybe. But what I _do _know is that you aren't as much of a Ravenclaw as I hoped. You have too much Gryffindor fire and pride in you. You must learn to hold your tongue and not always salve your pride."

I could feel her admonishment, and it made me burn with shame. I looked away.

Professor Smith sighed gently. "You're still so young, dear. Don't fret too much. You've come so far… don't give up yet. I'm glad you know the Patronus charm now, but you must not rely on that. Try not to make too many enemies. Be very careful who you cast your lots with."

I nodded, wishing I could sink into the floor. "Something's coming, isn't it?"

She was quiet for a moment. She put on a pair of reading glasses and shuffled some papers around. "Yes, it is."

A chill spread across my body. Shivering, I rose to my feet. "Professor, am I in danger?"

She looked up at me through her half-moon spectacles. "Don't go looking for trouble, Amber. That's all I ask."

Not assured, I rubbed my arms to try and ward off the goosebumps. My eyes were drawn to a large tapestry covering one side of the office wall, very similar to the Black's family tree in 12 Grimmauld Place. I realized, after a moment of scrutiny, that it was also a family tree, complete with faces, names, and lifespans.

Professor Smith was near the top of the tree, on one of the leaves. There were so many leaves and branches that it was almost impossible to pick her out from the sea of faces. Spreading out below her was a brunnette girl named "Mara".

"Is that your daughter?" I asked as I studied her. She looked very much like her mother.

Professor Smith made a noise of assent. "Yes. She's twenty-one, off exploring the world. I haven't seen her too much since she graduated from Hogwarts."

I traced the huge tree to the roots. Two faces stood out: a round-faced man with a mop of brown hair and a rosy-cheeked woman with red curls. Ferdinand Hufflepuff, and Helga Hufflepuff.

It took a moment for the weight of those names to sink in. Then I traced the tree again. I turned, stunned, to face Professor Smith, who had a small smile.

"You're… you're a descendant of one of the founders." I gaped.

Professor Smith adjusted her glasses. "I am."

"Wow." I was in awe. I couldn't imagine the subtle nobility of having the blood of a Hogwarts founder running through your veins. I shook my head. I frowned as I looked at her daughter Mara's leaf again. There was no father.

"Who… who's her father?" I asked hesitantly. "Why isn't he there?"

Professor Smith opened a thick book and began to ready. "I never married." She said shortly, and I knew I was dismissed.

I left the room quietly. "Amber," Professor Smith called, "make sure you have fun at the Hufflepuff Games tomorrow."

I grinned at her. "You too, Professor."

* * *

The end of year exams were due to be finished at noon the following day. Due to my voracious appetite for reading, the written portions were easy, extremely similar to the homework we'd been assigned over the school year. In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Smith had us demonstrate a defensive spell against a potential threat. She had us stand up before the class and draw a random slip of paper from a black top hat on the podium, which had the specific threat on it, and subsequently combat the threat, which would materialize instantly into whatever the paper said it was. I watched as Zoey MacDonald used a Revulsion Charm on the illusion of a grindylow, which had jumped on her instantly. James defeated a Boggart easily with the _Riddukulus _charm (which had taken the form of a zombie and was transformed into a rotten hamburger by his spell). I giggled into my hand when Remus ironically faced a werewolf and spurned it by conjuring a handful of wolfsbane in his hands and thrusting it at the fake werewolf. Angelina Azadian tried to trip me as I went up next. I jumped over her extended leg and picked a slip of paper that read: _vampire_.

Taking a deep breath to steady my now-frantic heartbeat, I pointed my wand at the illusion of an approaching vampire and focused on the memory of winning my first Quidditch match for Ravenclaw.

"_Expecto Patronum!" _I shouted. A silver griffin burst forth and charged into the frozen vampire, which disappeared into gray smoke. Professor Smith smiled approvingly.

"Charms master, just like your mother." She observed as she scrawled in my grade. The captive bat hissed in its cage in the corner, glaring at us balefully with its narrowed little eyes.

Professor Smith dismissed us as soon as Peter failed to defeat a flock of very aggressive doxies. He hung his head in shame as we left the classroom, heading for the grounds.

"It's alright, Pete," James said consolingly. "At least you're getting better with your Animagus practice."

Peter sighed. "I hope so. Maybe another year or two at most."

"I wish I could conjure a Patronus." Sirius muttered as he looked at me furtively. "Mind teaching me a few lessons, Harkstone?"

Remus looked annoyed. "I can produce one, too, Padfoot."

I laughed once as the warm summer air rushed over me, pushing my long hair back from my face. "I'll teach you how to produce a Patronus if you teach me how to be an Animagus."

"Deal." Sirius said brightly.

The entire school had assembled by the lake at that time. Lily hurried to my side, abandoning a gaggle of fellow Gryffindor girls. She ignored the Marauder boys as she sidled up to me, even though James surveyed her with keen, but one-sided, interest.

"Look what Dumbledore's done!" She said excitedly, pointing at the grounds. It had been completely transformed from the monotonous expanse of green grass into a sea of brightly colored booths and tents for the Hufflepuff Games. It looked like he had transplanted the annual county fair in Bellinghall and placed it directly between Hogwarts and the Great Lake. I glared at a first year who roughly jostled me in his haste to be the first of his group of friends to reach the butterbeer booth, just feet from us.

"This looks like fun!" Lily gushed. "Oh, Amber, come on, let's try the Truth Mirror over there! Remus, come with us!"

"I'll come." James said, swaggering over. But Lily's icy stare froze him.

"Actually, I invited _Sev_ to come with me." She informed him coldly. James raised a brow.

"I didn't know the little creep ever emerged in the sunlight." He remarked nastily. "He's as white as a fish belly."

I scanned the growing throng of Hogwarts students. "Actually, Lily, I don't see him anywhere."

Lily didn't look concerned. "He said he'd meet us here." She said dismissively. "Sev always keeps his word. Always."

"If only he'd keep his word about washing his hair." Sirius laughed. James conjured a cloud of silver bubbles, blowing them at Lily, who waved them away angrily. She dragged me away by the arm. Remus separated from the boys and followed us.

"What is _with _Potter?" Lily snapped as we approached the long mirror standing beside the butterbeer booth. "He's always trying to talk to me now. And what's with the showing off? Does he really think he's impressing anyone?"

Remus caught my eye briefly. "Maybe he fancies you?" I offered, shrugging. Lily made a retching noise.

"How does this thing work?" I asked, keeping away from the reflection, nervous of what I might see. Somehow, "truth mirror" didn't exactly fill me with confidence.  
Lily beamed. "It shows you what you most deeply desire."

Remus tapped the edges of the ornate mirror. "This can't be…"

"Be what?" Lily asked vaguely as she stepped before the reflection. She gasped and turned bright pink.

"What?" I asked curiously, trying to see her reflection, but all that showed was a backwards image of Lily. She pointed in disbelief.

"You mean, you can't see?" She asked, sounding less flustered and more relieved.

"No?" I waved a hand cautiously in front of it. Only my hand appeared.

"Then this must be the Mirror of Erised." Remus decided.

Lily's eyes popped. "No way! I thought this was locked away in some dungeon!"

"Maybe it was." Remus mused. "But it was brought out for the Games."

Lily tried to pull me in the reflection, but I resisted. "Come on, Amber! Don't you want to see?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm alright, thanks. What did _you _see?"

Lily blushed. "Nothing."

"She saw me as her husband." James guessed, sauntering over. Sirius sniggered into his hands.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Actually, no. It wasn't _you_."

"Wasn't it?" James asked with a gleam in his hazel eyes.

Lily snorted in disgust. "You are such an arrogant toe-rag, James Potter, and I'd rather end up an old spinster than marry _you_."

James chuckled, but I noticed how tried to hide the flicker of hurt in his eyes. I gazed at him in shock.

Could it be true? Did James actually fancy Lily?

"Come on, Harkstone, don't be such a chicken." Sirius chortled. He bumped me hard into the line of sight. I shut my eyes, afraid of what I would see. I didn't think I could bear seeing my sister's appearance in the mirror, if that was what was going to show in my reflection. After two years without her, it would be far too painful.

"Sirius!" Remus chided. "Don't."

"Don't what?" Sirius asked boisterously. "She needs to man up. It can't be that bad. Come on Amber, open your eyes."

I dared to peek.

Instead of my thirteen-year-old self staring back at me, I was looking up a few inches higher to my slightly-older face. I was bedecked in Holyhead Harpies Quidditch gear, the number four emblazoned on my back. I turned slightly to get a better look at it. Next to me was my mother, beaming at me in undisguised pride. Dad was holding her hand. A fully-grown and healthy Virginia flanked her, along with Naomi, who was the tallest of us sisters. I bit my lip, trying to hold back tears, when I caught sight of a final person standing beside me.

He was taller, with brown hair and a strong, protective build. Before I could dare to look at his face, James pushed me out of the way and cheered at his reflection.

"Look at me, Padfoot!" He exclaimed. "Quidditch Captain of Gryffindor, husband of a beautiful redhead, and you're by my side like a faithful dog!"

"No way!" Sirius shouted, trying to see his own reflection.

"If I wanted to see a bunch of monkeys, I would go to the zoo." Lily said waspishly. "Come on."

Feeling slightly dizzy, I followed Lily away from the Mirror of Erised, trying not to contemplate on what I had just seen. Was it true? Did the mirror actually show the deepest desire of my heart?

And who had been the handsome man standing beside me?

"Professor McKennitt's reading fortunes over there on her crystal ball." Lily pointed out. A long line of girls waited their turn at the table.

"If you guess Professor Flitwick's weight and height correctly, you win a prize." Remus observed, nodding to the next booth. The prize appeared to be various candy items from Honeydukes. Remus seemed greatly attracted to the large slab of their finest chocolate, perched beside a colorful array of pinwheel lollipops.

We walked deeper into the labyrinth of tents and booths. There was a karaoke contest that used your wand as the microphone and enchanted instruments as the background music. There was a pie-eating contest, made with Helga Hufflepuff's original recipes. Another booth hosted a giant wall of balloons that required darts to be thrown. Various joke-shop items, likely from Zonko's, were prizes. Near the edge of the booths was a large pen, where Professor Kettleburn was giving rides on captive hippogriffs that wouldn't go farther than his magical boundaries. We tried all of them.

There was even a duelling match going on, with two seventh year boys demonstrating their defensive and offensive prowess.

Lily looked upset. "Sev promised he'd meet me here. Where is he?"

I glanced around, surveying the thick crowd of Hogwarts students. It seemed that everyone had decided to attend today's festivals. I saw plenty of Slytherins, but strangely, Nott, Avery, Regulus, and Severus were all absent.

But then again, plenty of other students had probably chosen to abstain from the Hufflepuff Games. It didn't stop the niggling worry in my mind. It was a warm, sunny day. Who wouldn't want to be outside enjoying it, especially if there were lots of activities to try?

A large wheel-shaped object rose into the robin's-egg blue sky. "They brought a ferris wheel?" Lily said, astounded.

"I'm glad they did." I said, my palms tingling already. Few things compared to the thrill of being high off the ground.

Lily looked sad again. "I wish Sev was here. I really wanted to ride with him."

Remus smiled encouragingly. "Maybe he's just running late."

"He's almost half an hour late." Lily fussed.

We waited in line for the ferris wheel for five minutes before it was our turn. A man I had never seen before narrowed his eyes at us. "Two per seat only."

I looked behind us. There was no one. "I'm not that fat. Can't we fit three?"

But the man crossed his beefy arms. "No."

"You two go ahead." Lily offered. "I'll wait for Sev and we can go later."

I shook my head. "No, Lily. Your favorite ride at the carnivals is the ferris wheel. You told me last summer, remember?"

Lily smiled guiltily. "Yes, but you and Remus-"

"-are just friends, and don't need a romantic ride on a ferris wheel." I finished for her, smirking at the embarrassed look on Remus' face. "Go on. I'll take my turn with Remus later, right?"

Remus nodded. "I wouldn't mind going again."

The man let them pass. Lily waved at me excitedly as the chair rose into the warm June air, rising higher until I couldn't make out their faces anymore. The man was watching me coldly.

"No loitering." He said crossly.

Frowning, I cocked my head, put-off by his hostile aggression. "I'm waiting my turn."

He jerked his thumb hard. "Get out of here."

My mouth dropped open in indignation. "But-"

"Go." His face was hard, like stone. Setting my jaw, I stormed off, fuming.

At least Lily was happy.

I milled around vaguely, barely registering the fact that I had walked right into the middle of the duelling match. The warm air suddenly felt charged and heavy, like lightning about to strike. Stiffening, I instinctively dropped into a crouch, just as a red bolt shot overhead, cracking against something hard.

"Stop! _Stop!" _Professor Slughorn shouted. "Miss Harkstone! Please watch where you're going, dear!"

I raised my head warily. A seventh-year Gryffindor boy looked extremely startled, his eyes wide.

Cautiously, I rose to my feet. "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"Typical reckless Harkstone." A familiar male voice teased. Heat filled my face as I faced the opponent: Sean Locke.

"I said I was sorry." I said indignantly.

Sean smiled indulgently. "You didn't mean it though, did you?"

I shrugged flippantly. "It won't happen again; that's all I'm saying."

"I'd like to finish the match, if you don't mind?" The Gryffindor interjected.

"Oops." I blushed again, stepping out of the way. It was too easy to playfully spar with Sean and forget everything else. I could feel him watching me with amusement as I joined the onlookers.

"Ready?" Professor Slughorn asked. "Three… two… one… resume!"

Instantly, the Gryffindor boy shot another Stunning Spell at Sean, which he blocked wordlessly. Even though I had practiced nonverbal spells, these two were performing like they had never needed to speak all their lives. I watched in awe as they duelled for another minute, until Sean landed a one-two punch on the Gryffindor boy with a full body-binding curse, instantly followed by a tickling charm. The Gryffindor boy was reduced to tears as he was completely defenseless against the onslaught of tickles.

"I give up!" He wheezed out between laughs.

Sean released him and crossed the distance, offering his hand and helping the defeated opponent to his feet. The crowd clapped as they melted back into the crowd. To my delight, Sean came to stand by me, his gray eyes bright with victory.

"I'm glad you got to see that." He admitted, beaming down at me. "Tomorrow's graduation, and it's my last real day as a Hogwarts student."

I hadn't realized that. I watched him sadly. "I wish you didn't have to go."

Sean smiled. "I wish I wasn't four years older than you."

His words held more meaning than he'd spoken, and I felt another rush of heat course through me. Self-consciously, I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I wish I wasn't four years younger."

I didn't know how to flirt, but the words came naturally. Sean sighed. "Maybe when you're a little older, we can go out sometime. I really regret not escorting you to the ball this Christmas. You shouldn't have had to go alone."

"Oh, it's okay." I said, absolving him of his guilt. "I still ended up dancing with a bunch of boys."

"I saw." Sean said wryly. "I don't think their thoughts were entirely honorable."

"Their intentions were." I said, surprised that I was defending them. But then the truth hit me like a dragon: James, Sirius, even Peter… they _were _my friends. True, honest friends. I felt momentarily stunned by the weight of that knowledge.

"You know," Sean went on, "Anna and I aren't dating or anything. I'd like to take you out in a few years, maybe when you're sixteen or seventeen. If you'd wait on an old bat like me, of course."

"Why not fifteen?" I bargained. Sean laughed.

"Let's take it one year at a time." He responded brightly.

"Who's next?" Professor Slughorn boomed. "Go on, don't be shy? Why not one of my Slytherin gems? Avery? Nott?"

But they still weren't here. Momentarily distracted, I scanned the crowd for their faces, but they were absent.

"I'd like to try." I said, shrugging. "I'll have a go."

"Excellent, excellent!" Professor Slughorn yelled. "A brave young challenger! Who wants to try their strength against our youngest Ravenclaw Quidditch Team player?"

Sean grinned. "Am I allowed to enter again?"

Professor Slughorn chuckled, patting his portly belly. "Easy, boy! Let's let someone new try their luck."

"I'd like to try." A female voice said loudly. My eyes widened as Angelina morphed from the crowd, her face pale with rage. Zoey MacDonald tried tugging her back, but she shook her off and stepped into the ring.

I felt a twinge of foreboding. "I don't want to fight _you_."

"Why not?" Angelina asked quietly. "Afraid I'll kick your arse in front of the whole school?"

The crowd tittered. "Language, dear," Professor Slughorn admonished. But Angelina acted like she hadn't heard him. She was glaring at me like I was a dog squatting on her front lawn.

"I beat _you _last time, remember?" I shot back, the crowd vanishing in my mind as the world shrunk to the breadth of our distance. "If Remus hadn't been there to stop me, you'd still be in the infirmary, licking your wounds."

The heat behind my threat came from an old anger, one that had appeared when I was a young child and first felt Mum's disapproval and neglect. It had been like a monster, fed by years of guilt watching my sister fight her sickness and being engulfed by jealousy. It had been growing with every sleepless night, every unfair accusation, every painful blow dealt by words or hands.

Angelina shuddered with rage. "How does it feel to know that you're enjoying _my _leftovers? Or that your mother hates you?"

It was hard to believe that I had ever once considered Angelina Azadian a friend. Trembling, I fought to stay in control. "You don't want to do this, Angelina. Back off."

But she wasn't going to. I could see it in the hard line of her jaw, the angry tears brimming in her eyes. With a shock, I realized she blamed _me _for her breakup with Remus.

"You think you're so perfect, don't you?" Angelina spat out. "Little Miss Harkstone, daughter of the famous washout Walter Harkstone. Friends with _boys_ only. You hate girls because of your sister. You know, the dead one? Lily doesn't even _like_ you. She feels bad for you, that's the only reason why she stays around. That's what she told me."

"Stop."

"No! You stole Remus from me. I'm going to make you sorry!"

"The only thing I'm sorry about is ever thinking I could trust you." I said coldly, stung. "Goodbye, Angelina."

I turned my back to walk back to Sean and suggest we ride the ferris wheel together, but I felt an agonizing stab of pain between my shoulders blades. I arched my back and whirled around, the blood pounding in my ears. Angelina had raised her wand and was pointing it straight at me.

"Coward." She said softly.

An intense rush of heat -the kind that drove people to commit acts of violence, like murder - filled my vision with a red haze. Without waiting for Professor Slughorn to give the word, I drew my wand swiftly and fired off a blasting curse. "_Confringo!"_

The people gathered behind Angelina jumped out of the way of the fireball. Angelina barely missed it. She let out a scream of fury and shouted, "_Incarcerous!"_

A stream of ropes shot from her wand. I dodged two of them but a third wrapped around my legs like a boa constrictor. Struggling, Angelina took advantage of my position and said, "_Petrificus-"_

"_Langlock!" _I shouted. Angelina's eyes bulged out of her skull as she clutched at her mouth, which was silent. Her tongue had glued itself to the roof of her mouth.

I pointed the ash wand at my bound legs. "_Relashio." _I pointed my wand at her, wanting to teach her a lesson to never mess with me again. "_Segmentum_."

A few girls in the crowd screamed. As if an invisible pair of scissors had just gone to work, Angelina's hair dropped like black ribbons to the ground. I could see her trying to scream, but it was impossible because her tongue was stuck to the of her mouth. Her waist-length raven-colored hair was now cropped short, just above her ears. Tears filled her eyes and ran freely down her cheeks. She tried to curse me, but since she hadn't yet mastered nonverbal magic, she could not. Clearly, she did not know the countercurse for the tongue-tying curse either.

"This fight is over." I said in a shaking voice, afraid of the urge to go on, to humiliate her further. Sean put his large hand over my wand, giving me a measured look.

"Let it go." He said quietly. I was trembling so hard I could see his arm shaking too. Zoey ran to Angelina's side, trying to help. Sean steered me away from them.

"_Langliber." _Zoey said loudly, the counter-curse for the tongue-tying curse. And then Angelina: "_Sectumsempra!"_

A second later I felt knives slicing against my skin - my face, my arms, my back, my legs. I collapsed to the ground screaming, bleeding, and feeling like Mulciber had just used the Cruciatus Curse on me again.

The crowd erupted. People were screaming and shouting in horror. I could hear Angelina yelling frantically, "I didn't know it did that! _I didn't know! _Severus Snape told me the spell; he said it was for enemies!"

Sobbing, I tried to cover my wounds with my red hands. Sean scooped me up into his strong arms. "Madam Pomfrey! _Madam Pomfrey_!"

A cloud of teachers descended upon me. Weakly, I looked up into the face of Madam Pomfrey, which swam hazily into view. "Merlin's beard." She whispered. I fought to stay conscious.

Sean brought me into a white tent and carefully laid me out on a cot. I felt stinging all over my body, where the wounds were. I cried out in pain.

"The essence of dittany isn't working." She said in a raised voice, sounding panicked. "It isn't working!"

"Where's Dumbledore?" Sean demanded. "Maybe he can help!"

A moment later, the Headmaster and Professor Smith hazed into view. I struggled to stay awake. A faint buzzing noise filled my ears. I felt drops like rain on my body, and instead of cringing away, it soothed the acute pain and brought relief.

"Phoenix tears…" Madam Pomfrey gasped.

"Poppy, I'd like a moment with Miss Harkstone when she's well enough to talk." Professor Dumbledore said. "In the meantime, Professor Smith, please accompany me for a little chat with Miss Azadian."

"Yes, sir," Professor Smith said grimly. They departed the tent, while Sean and Madam Pomfrey remained. A soft, musical cry filled the tent with relaxing sound. Faint with blood loss, I turned my neck and saw Fawkes the phoenix perched at the edge of the cot, watching me mournfully with his liquid black eyes.

"Relax, dear," Madam Pomfrey said in a forced voice, "you're going to be alright."

The acrid scent of rust filled my nostrils. I dared to look at my uniform, which was slashed and bloodied, like I'd been attacked by a werewolf. Sean looked no better.

"What… what _was _that?" I managed.

"Hush, questions later." Madam Pomfrey said. She thrust a cup of fruity-smelling liquid in my hands. "Drink this. It will replenish your blood supply. You've lost… you've lost quite a bit."

I grimaced, agreeing with her. Reluctantly, I lifted the cup to my lips and drank the cup. I sagged against the single pillow in the tent, letting my eyes drift shut.

It seemed like a moment later that the tent opened again and two people entered. "What happened?" Lily's voice demanded, half-strangled. I opened my eyes.

Lily rushed to my side, ignoring Madam Pomfrey's protest. Remus stood rooted to the spot, his face white. I saw Sean tense and lean towards me protectively.

"Now, really!" Madam Pomfrey said crossly. "This girl needs rest, not visitors. I told Dumbledore that duelling match was a bad idea… too easy for emotions to run high and things to get out of hand…"

"What happened to you?" Lily whispered.

Remus didn't move. He looked too horrified to.

"Her duel with Angelina Azadian turned into a catfight." Sean informed Lily. He grimaced. "More of a catfight to the death."

"She attacked me while my back was turned. Twice." I told Lily, then admitted, "...and I glued her tongue to her hard palate and cut her hair off."

Lily's hands flew to her open mouth. "You did _what?"_

I frowned at her. "Look at me. Do you really think I deserved to be sliced and diced for that?"

Lily surveyed my shredded clothes, the drying blood. "No, you didn't." She said softly.

Remus took a step toward me, but Sean rose to his feet. He crossed the room with surprisingly swiftness and towered over Remus by several inches. I tried to sit up, but gasped at the sudden rush of dizziness and sank back against the pillow.

"Boys!" Madam Pomfrey said in alarm.

"If you ever let her get hurt like this again, I'll make you sorry, Lupin." Sean snapped.

Remus blinked, his face hardening. "I didn't do this."

"It's _your _crazy ex that did this!" Sean accused, pointing a finger in his chest, making Remus stumble back a step. "Funny how she seems to get hurt around you, isn't it? You don't deserve her."

"Guys, stop." I begged. "I'm right here, and I'm not dating anyone… unless there's something I'm not aware of."

But they acted like they couldn't hear me. Remus was staring up into Sean's face, breathing hard. He swallowed convulsively.

"I mean it, Lupin." Sean threatened. "If this happens again, I won't hesitate to spill your little monthly problem to the school. I'm done at Hogwarts tomorrow. You've got another three years here. Maybe that'll drive some sense into her to find someone safer."

He strode out of the tent. Remus stared blankly, then swept his hands over his face and into his hair. He gave me a quick look full of pain and left.

"It's not his fault." I mumbled. Lily looked distressed.

"I'll bet Angelina's going to get expelled." Lily said. "She'll end up at Coxe Arrington's."

"I hope so." I grumbled. "My uniform is ruined."

Lily laughed once, then looked scared again. "This is really bad, Amber. You're a danger magnet or something."

"I know." I sighed. Lily patted my arm. "I'll go and get you a fresh pair of clothes to change into. Stay here."

"Wasn't planning on going anywhere." I said cheerfully, the strength gradually returning to me.

Lily smiled and left the tent. Madam Pomfrey got up and paced. She had the same air of anxiety that Mum had when she needed to relieve herself after long hours spent caring for Virginia.

"Madam Pomfrey, if you need to use the lavatories, I'll be fine for five minutes." I assured her from the cot.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "Don't go anywhere." She gave me a furtive look and left. I was alone in the tent.

And then a very strange thing happened. A peculiar sense of peace and relief washed over me. I forgot about my pain and the fight with Angelina. I forgot the near-fight between Remus and Sean. I even forgot my own name.

Fawkes made a soft noise as I rose from the cot, totally calm and at ease. Every feeling of responsibility and anxiety was positively vanquished. A small voice at the back of my mind said something was wrong, that this wasn't right, but I ignored it in lieu of the cheerful bliss that flowed through me like Felix Felicius.

It was weird, how when I pulled the tent flap aside, I could see people running frantically in every direction, screaming in panic, running for their lives, as several wizards in black robes cast spells and pursued. Some engaged in duels. I recognized the ferris wheel attendant battling the same Gryffindor boy who had fought Sean. The same green skull and serpent that had been at Platform 9 ¾ back in September hung in the air above the lake. But I felt light, happy, calm. Smiling serenely, I walked through the melee with grace, careful step over a fallen Hogwarts student. I barely registered the fact that it was Zoey MacDonald.

I headed for the Forbidden Forest, where I saw several lucky students pelting into for safety. The cool darkness enveloped me instantly, but it felt good. Yes, this was good. As long as I did whatever felt good, I would be alright.

I walked purposefully into the thickening darkness, until I couldn't hear the screams anymore. It was just me. A small, orb of yellow-green light appeared out of the shadows before me. I followed it obediently, deeper into the trees, deeper into the darkness. It led me to a huge pine tree, where the roots opened up into a cave-like void. The orb stopped outside of the tree-cave. I halted with it. Inside, I could hear terrified sniffling and sobs.

A wand tip ignited in the cave. The orb of yellow-green light illuminated the figure huddled inside: Angelina. Sobbing, she burst forth from the cave, launching herself at me. She shoved me to the ground, crying.

"You've ruined me!" Angelina sobbed. "You made me look like a total monster in front of the whole school! I didn't know what that curse did! Severus Snape told me he'd invented it for enemies, and I thought I'd get your back for what you did to my hair. And for breaking up me and Remus! Wait until I tell my father. He's a Ministry official too, you know! I'll make sure you never go anywhere in life, Amber. Oh, just you wait. You'll be sorry, I promise!"

She stopped, breathing hard. "Why aren't you saying anything? Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong with you? Say something!"

The yellow-green orb of light moved. It disappeared inside of her chest.

And I knew what I was supposed to do.

The small voice rebelled. _Don't do this! Don't! It's unforgivable!  
_The stronger, dark voice spoke in my mind. _Cast the spell._

I raised my wand. Angelina drew hers instantly, her red eyes wet and angry. "You want to fight again? I'll make you so sorry for embarrassing me, Amber! I'll kill you!"

She shook with furious sobs. The name of the spell came to me, from the class with Professor Smith. Still, the small voice objected.

_Don't do it!  
_The stronger voice whispered in my mind: _Cast the spell. Cast the spell._

I hesitated.

_Cast the spell!_

A flash of bright green light filled the dark clearing. There was a loud thud, like a sack of potatoes being dropped. The dreamy feeling persisted. Blankly, I regarded the lifeless heap at my feet, the empty eyes that gazed at nothing.

Angelina Azadian was dead.

A male figure, the owner of the voice in my head, emerged from the shadows. William Mulciber had shaved his head and grown larger in his time away at Coxe Arrington's. In just half a year, he looked like he'd aged ten years. He looked like a man now, a dangerous criminal. But I felt nothing but calm submission and indifference.

He grinned at me. "And now, to pick up after myself… It's too bad the Ministry didn't listen to that letter that Pettigrew wrote in your name, Amber. But I guess it's a good thing they didn't. You won't remember any of this." He raised his wand to my face. I watched him calmly, filled with nothing but mild tranquility.

"_Obliviate."_


	45. Avada Kedavra

**The responses and reviews you guys gave me for the previous chapter absolutely floored me. I had no idea how much you all would respond and it made me so honored as a writer:) I've been planning that point of the story for several months and tried dropping hints all throughout year 3 and I'm sorry if it took you by complete surprise. This is the final chapter of year 3 and I can't wait for you all to see what happens in year 4. thank you for sticking with me and this story!**

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The sound of a wolf howling jerked me awake. I bolted into an upright position, frozen with fear. I listened for the sound again, but there was only the distant hoot of an owl, followed by total and utter silence.

I was cold. Shivering, I peered up into the impenetrable canopy of black pine trees, blocking out any hint of sunlight. Dense, low-lying fog misted through the tall, dead-looking trees. I swallowed convulsively and drew my wand from my belt.

I wasn't sure why I was here, apparently in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. But here I was, alone, cold, and utterly vexed on how I had ended up here.

My head started to pound. I groaned and shut my eyes, trying to fight off the rising nausea. It throbbed against my forehead, as if I'd been running and smacked headlong into a tree. But when I felt for any blood, I touched nothing but recently-healed slashes.

I blinked, memories rushing back to me. The Hufflepuff Games. Giving up the ferris wheel ride with Remus so that Lily could go instead. Duelling with Angelina, and winning. Her curse that had made me bleed as if I'd been slashed by invisible swords. And then Sean lifting me into his arms, calling for help.

I was blank after that.

I fought against the fuzzy edges of darkness in my vision and tried to stand up. The air was heavy, stale, and filled my nostrils with the odor of dark soil and sunless places. I brushed dirt off of my arms, holding my head as another painful spasm pulsed through my brain.

_Concussion. _I thought weakly as I leaned against a tree for support. I placed my wand in my palm and muttered, "_Point Me._"

The phoenix feather and ash wand obeyed. It spun north, directing me out. I could see no footsteps that gave any indication that I'd come here in the first place. I took a step forward and immediately tripped to my knees over a log.

Except it wasn't a log.

The blood iced in my veins. It was Angelina. Her new bob-style hair cut framed her slack face, her gray eyes open, but staring at nothing. She was laying in an odd position, in a crumpled heap on her side, like she had been struck in the back of the head and collapsed where she'd stood.

I crawled over to her and shook her. "Angelina, wake up."

She was like a rag doll.

Fear overtook the pain in my head, which had been swelling like a volcano about to erupt. I shook her again. "Angelina!"

I checked her pulse. Mine rocketed up a few beats when I felt none. She was cold and stiff.

Just like Virginia had been.

I fought to keep myself from vomiting. I glanced around helplessly. There was no one else here. Just us.

"Someone!" I croaked, my throat as tight as a violin string. "Anybody! Please!"

Choking back horrified sobs, I shook Angelina harder than ever. "Please, wake up! Angelina! Please don't be dead, please don't be dead!"

But I knew in my heart that she was. Retching, I bent away from her and vomited onto the black soil. Trembling hard, I scooted as far back into a cave made of twisting pine roots as I could.

Someone had attacked us. Had we been lured here? Why was she dead and I alive? Had someone used _Avada Kedavra _on her? Why her, and not me?

I tried hard to recall anything after my memory of being in Sean's arms, but it was like trying to see through a sky-high ink-black wall of amnesia, ten-feet thick and impossible to scale. Terrified, I waited a minute in the shelter of the tree roots, watching Angelina's still form and listening for any sound of approaching danger.

Nothing. I knew I would have to find my way back to Hogwarts, and tell them that Angelina was dead.

My mind recoiled at the word.

_Dead. _

Angelina had once been a friend, a trusted confidante that Lily and I had put our faith in. But whether it was due to puberty's raging hormones or something else, she had changed in the past two years, especially this one, morphing into a wicked gossip queen who thrived on male attention and using her sharp tongue to score wounds into her victims.

We had fought before, over Remus and over the loss of our friendship. But I had never wanted her to die.

Biting back sobs, I emerged from the roots and pointed my wand at the tree. "_Reducto."_

An X-shape was scratched into the bark of the tree. I did this every few trees as I ran back towards the castle, stumbling over fallen trees and scraping my legs against nettles and thick undergrowth.

I lost track of time as I made my way out of the woods, but eventually a breath of fresh, warmer air drifted over me, and I knew I had reached the fringe of the Forbidden Forest. A line of yellow light glimmered up ahead. Recharged with new energy, I sprinted through the darkness and into what I thought was safety.

I was completely unprepared for what I was about to see.

Once, a few summers ago before I attended Hogwarts, a terrible thunderstorm had struck my hometown of Bellinghall. A column of rotating air - a tornado - had touched down a few streets away and left a trail of utter destruction in its wake on a horse farm.

It was like that now.

The colorful, innocent tents and booths of the Hufflepuff Games were torn asunder. Fires burned where some tents had been torched. The ferris wheel had tipped over and collapsed on the ground. All above me, wizards soared on brooms, surveying the damage. There was a loud buzzing noise of blended voices, cries, and screams. I stood, paralyzed by what I saw.

It was just like Platform 9 ¾, all over again.

I blinked several times, just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. But I could smell the acrid tang of smoke, hear the cacophony of noise, see the melee before me. A few students sprinted past, white-faced with fear.

I stepped out of the trees, blinking to adjust to the bright light of the sun. No one seemed to notice me as I wandered through the destruction, numb. Briefly, I wondered if I was a ghost, if I was dead too. But when I pinched my arm, I felt the sharp twist of pain and knew I was still alive.

"Students, students, please!" Professor McGonagall cried over the din, her bun loose and her dark hair falling around her face in strands. "Please assemble in the Great Hall! Stay with a buddy and do not separate! Stay calm, please! Come on, all students to the Great Hall!"

I watched her blankly as she hurried past, disappearing into the throng of witches and wizards. I realized these must be Ministry officials, come to save the day.

If there was anything left to.

I followed the winding slopes up to the castle, not sure whom I should tell of the dead body I had woken up next to. The temporary silence was gone the moment I set foot inside the castle. The voices of scared students echoed down the stone corridors and into my ears. I rounded a bend and trickled into the Great Hall, blending in with the crowd of black-dressed students.

"Ravenclaws, to me!" Professor Flitwick squeaked from a table he was standing on. "Everyone, please be quiet for a moment!"

But he went unheard. Too many students were gabbling, shouting, yelling to their friends. Professor Smith stepped up beside him and pointed her wand to her throat and said, "_Sonorus._"

Her magnified voice boomed across the Hall, stunning everyone. Each head turned to stare at her. Professor Smith took advantage of the temporary lull.

"Everyone, please try and be as quiet as you can right now. We are trying to do a headcount and see who is here and who is missing. When I call your name, please raise your hand high until I give you a nod. Angelina Azadian?"

My heart pounded as I raised my hand. Professor Smith made eye contact with me, looking surprised. I tried to wordlessly convey to her that something was wrong, that she was dead, without causing an uproar.

"Professor Flitwick, please continue the roll call while I speak with Miss Harkstone." Professor Smith said. Professor Flitwick enchanted his own wand and called out, "Stewart Anderson?"

Professor Smith hurried to my side. I bent forward and whispered in her ear, "She's dead."

She pulled back abruptly, her green eyes wide with shock. "Are you sure?" She asked in a low tone.

I nodded once, tears spilling over. "I found her next to me in the Forest."

She nodded briskly and towed me out of the Great Hall. I could feel several pairs of eyes boring into the back of my skull as I followed her out. The only sound was our shoes slapping against the stone floor as she brought me back down towards the lake, towards the carnage.

"Professor," I said softly, "who did this?"

She was silent for a moment. "You were right, Amber. The Ministry failed to listen to your argument, and now, we've reaped the consequences."

There was more than what she was telling me. I stopped. "Please, tell me what happened. I can't remember anything past my fight with Angelina."

Her name brought a fresh wave of tears. There would be no chance for forgiveness, no time for reconciliation or possible rekindling of our friendship. Someone had taken that chance away forever because they had killed her.

Professor Smith gave me a measured look. "That's classified."

"Hippogriff dung." I said immediately. Professor Smith didn't look surprised at my response. Instead, she looked away briefly as if steeling herself and then said, "Dumbledore was called away on a sudden summons from the Ministry of Magic. We aren't sure who summoned him, but I believe it may have been Mr. Rookwood, wishing to speak with him again about your fears. It seemed that the moment Dumbledore departed the grounds, the attack commenced."

I shut my eyes. "Death Eaters, right? How did they get here?"

Professor Smith pursed her lips. "That's the golden question, isn't it? Security is tight at Hogwarts. We aren't sure how they knew how to slip through the cracks."

"I do." I said wearily. "Those Slytherins. Logan Avery, Edward Nott, Reg-" I broke off, unwilling to name Sirius's little brother as a suspect again. Or Severus. For Lily's sake.

"William Mulciber escaped from Coxe Arrington's early this morning." Professor Smith added. I gaped at her.

"He _what?_" I said faintly.

Professor Smith shook her head. "Dumbledore would like to speak to you, once he has taken care of the Ministry officials. It seems you were right in your suspicions, and now, we need to…" She trailed off, shaking her head.

"What?" I pressed. "Need to what?"  
But she was adamant. "I'm sorry, Amber, but I've already said too much. You aren't even supposed to know that the Death Eaters are responsible, let alone what I have just divulged to you. I am only telling you this because you already suspected those responsible and you tried to warn us. You have the right to know that you did everything you could and have nothing to be guilty for."

I merely look at her. Was she suggesting that I had anything to do with this tragedy?

_I tried warning them… _I thought desperately. Even though I had never penned a letter, I now found myself wishing that I had. But what difference would it have made? They hadn't listened then, and now, the consequences were reaped.

"Where is Angelina?" Professor Smith asked quietly. "Where is her body?"

I wiped away a few more tears that continued to roll down my cheeks. "Follow the X's that I carved into the trees. It'll lead you to her."

Professor Smith turned and strode away, her long black cloak billowing out behind her. I took a few steps after her, gazing down at the remains of what was supposed to be a happy day, full of celebration and innocent fun, honoring what Helga Hufflepuff had valued most: fairness and kindness.

I watched Professor Smith and two other officials set off into the forest, heading to where I had found Angelina's body. Feeling like a deflating balloon, I sank against the stone pillar and stared at nothing, unable to push away the image of my former friend, lying in the darkness, dead.

Just like Virginia.

I hugged my knees to my chest, barely registering the fact that someone had approached. After I heard my name spoken, I lifted my eyes to the newcomer.

It was Peter.

He was alone, which was strange, since Sirius and James usually accompanied him everywhere he went. And without them, he looked terrible. His face was the color of snow. He wrung his wrists nervously, glancing this way and that. Then he swallowed hard.

"Amber." He said again. "Amber, I…"

I blinked slowly, my mind sluggish. _Shock_. I concluded. _I must be in shock._ "What is it, Peter?"

Peter bit his nails, which I noticed were raw to the nail beds. "Peter, are you alright?" I wondered if he was going into shock too.

Peter let out a small sob. He hid his face in his hands for a few seconds. I rose to my feet, uneasy. He seemed even more unglued than usual.

"I… I have to tell you something." He whispered hoarsely, his tiny eyes darting back and forth anxiously, as if afraid someone would overhear us.

"Tell me."

Peter gave a shaky sigh. "Do you…" his voice was barely more than a whisper. "Do you remember when you found me Diagon Alley this fall?"

"Yes…" Where was he going with this?

He rubbed his arms fiercely. "Um… uh…" He rubbed his face vigorously. Clearly, whatever he was going to say was costing him. "Well, the reason why they were beating me up was because I overheard their plans… to attack Platform 9 ¾. Those D-D…"

"Death Eaters?" I demanded, my hands balling into fists at my sides.

Peter looked sick. "Y-yeah. They told me if I didn't keep my mouth shut and mind my own business, they'd kill me. And they killed those people that day… and I knew it was going to happen again. I just knew. I heard what you said to Remus and James and Sirius that night in the Shack and I believed you. So I wrote a letter to the Ministry in your name, because your dad works there. I thought they'd listen to you. But they didn't." His face crumpled. "Maybe if I'd said something…"

He dissolved into gasping sobs. I stared down at him, the blood draining from my face.

_Peter had known._ He had _known_ the attacks would happen on the Hogwarts Station. And now he had tried to protect these people, but it had backfired. And now Angelina, and Merlin knew who else, were dead.

At a loss, I shook my head, dazed. "It's not your fault, Peter. You tried."

Peter cried harder, looking more like a lost little boy than a thirteen year old. "But I feel like it is! I've never anyone… you understand, right? I knew you would. You're not like the others. You've kept secrets that you didn't tell anyone."

I didn't like what Peter was implying. I held up a hand for silence. "Peter, you need to calm down. Come on, let's go find Madam Pomfrey."

But as soon as I said it, I knew she would be overwhelmed with the more seriously injured. Peter hiccuped into his hands.

A clunking noise made us both look up. A man with a wooden stump for a leg and a scarred face narrowed his blue eyes at us. "You two! Have you seen Willow Smith anywhere?"

I drew my wand, on alert. "What's your name and business, sir?"

The scarred man barked a laugh. "On your toes… good. I like that. Alastor Moody, Auror. Willow was my partner at the Ministry before she came here to teach. Where is she?"

Lowering my wand slightly, I jerked my shoulder toward the forest. "She went to… recover a body."

Peter let out a shrill squeal of horror. Mr. Moody nodded once. "Thanks, missy. Stay on guard. Danger Isn't over yet."

I watched him as he passed by. He looked at Peter and gave him an appraising look. Then he smacked him soundly in the cheek.

Peter's ugly sobs abruptly stopped. He gaped at Mr. Moody in pure shock. Mr. Moody grunted in approval and hobbled off down the hill to join the other Ministry members. Peter turned his huge blue eyes on me.

"He… he…"

"He made you get a grip." I said. "We've all seen bad stuff, today, Peter. It'll be alright." I forced myself to believe those words. "Thank you for telling me what you did."

Peter shuddered. "I want James and Sirius. And Remus."

Pain twisted in my heart. _Remus_. How would he react when I broke the news?

_Wait_. I hadn't seen any of the three boys. White-hot panic blinded me as I realized that I hadn't accounted for them yet. Or Lily. Or Sean.

"Stay inside." I ordered Peter, dragging him back into the Great Hall. I hurried from his side and wove my way through the crowd of students, most of whom stayed in clusters with their friends, talking urgently. A few girls held each other, crying. Clearly, Flitwick had finished roll call, because it was no longer silent.

I pushed my way through, fear making me aggressive and oblivious to how rough I was being. Someone pushed back, but I didn't bother to see who it was. I felt like the air was being sucked out of my lungs; what if something horrible had happened to my friends? Something like what had happened to Angelina?

I scanned faces, the dread rising with each passing second. Where were they?

And then I saw him: talking urgently with Lily in the corner of the room, the both of them looking agitated and upset. James and Sirius were not with them.

I pushed toward them, sobbing with relief. Lily gasped and wrapped me in a crushing hug, crying. "I was so scared, Amber! I left you for just a few minutes and the moment I got to the castle, I heard the screams and the explosions…"

She pulled back, green eyes red with tears. "I thought something terrible happened to you."

I shut my eyes, unable to bring myself to tell her that Angelina was dead.

"Amber, people are… hurt, aren't they?" Lily whispered. "I mean, I wasn't down there, but I know it was bad."

"Are you alright?" Remus asked quietly, his eyes haunted. He looked like he had lived through an entire war. Legs rubbery with relief, I embraced him tightly, thanking God that he was alright. His arms wound around me, anchoring me to him. I closed my eyes and pretended that the past few months were just a bad dream, that when I opened my eyes, it would be August we would still be in Diagon Alley and we could go from there.

"It's going to be alright." Remus murmured, echoing my words that I had spoken to Peter. Weary, I resigned myself to reality and reopened my eyes, feeling leaden and heavy with the weight of the tidings I bore.

"James and Sirius?" Remus asked urgently.

I shook my head. "I haven't seen them. But I'm sure they're fine. They're excellent with magic… they wouldn't have gone down. They're too good."

Lily buried her face in her hands. "I haven't seen some of the Gryffindors…" She trailed off, unable to continue. Remus put a comforting arm around her. I hugged her again, trying to soothe some of her pain.

"Everything's going to be different now." Lily said softly. "There's never been something like this at school. Why are they targeting children? It's like they're after us…"

"Terrorism. That's how it works." Remus replied grimly. "They go for the innocent and vulnerable. It sends the strongest message."

I was glad we didn't have to sort the situation out. I sank to the floor again, shutting my eyes, pretending I was back in Bellinghall, pretending that none of this had ever happened.

Remus must have been anxious about Sirius and James, but he lowered himself to the ground and put an arm around my shoulders. He drew me close, letting me rest my head against his shoulder. Lily sidled up beside me, her arm touching mine. She trembled with fear. Of course, Severus hadn't been accounted for either.

_Because he was part of this. _I thought. _And his spell nearly killed me, by Angelina's hand._

I inhaled deeply, filling my nose with the comforting, familiar scent of Remus: cinnamon, fresh laundry, chocolate. And Lily: floral, sweet, light. Their comforting, warm, solid presence helped ebb the numbness of shock.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I felt someone shaking me gently. "Amber, wake up. Dumbledore's here."

I remembered shaking Angelina, trying in vain to rouse her, and my eyes popped open. Remus stilled me, protective. "You're alright. You're safe with me in the Great Hall."

"Blimey, you look bloody awful." James said, wrinkling his nose at me. Frowning, I sat up straighter, my racing pulse slowing.

"I've felt better." I replied sourly. "Where were you and Sirius?"  
"We thought we could try helping." Sirius said, sitting beside James. Peter was next to him, not meeting my gaze. "We Stunned a few Death Eaters before Professor McGonagall ordered us to hide. Your friend Locke was very impressive out there. I think he incapacitated about five of them. "

"We hid, like McGonagall said." James added. "Behind a tent. Perfect spot, really, to curse those scumbags. Padfoot nailed an ugly bloke with a really good Bat-Bogey Hex."

"Simple, but very effective." Sirius said, waving his wand airily.

I chuckled in spite of myself. "I'm glad you're alright."

"No one's seen Severus." Lily fretted.

"He's fine, I told you." James said, sounding exasperated. "I saw him and Regulus. They were heading for the castle when I lost sight of them. Too many people in the way."

Lily didn't look satisfied. "He could be injured."

"You would know it by now." James replied tartly. "Professor Smith posted a list of the accounted for and the wounded. I didn't see Severus on either list."

"Where's the list?" Lily asked immediately. James pointed to the huge double doors to the Great Hall. She jumped up and joined the mass of students trying to see who was on what list.

"I haven't checked it yet." Sirius added. "Too many people. Look at that crowd."

Remus didn't say anything, but I knew he was thinking about Angelina. I swallowed hard. I knew I had to tell them. I owed it to them.

But before I could open my mouth, Dumbledore spoke from his golden podium. I had never seen him look so somber, so restrained. I could see blazing blue fire in his eyes. Whoever had done this would pay. I could see the promise of vengeance in his old face.

"Everyone, I ask for your attention for a few minutes." Dumbledore said, raising his voice over the constant buzz of students. Everyone stilled.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Today, we experienced evil at our doorstep. Our school was the target of violence. Because of our brave teachers and some valiant students, we were able to beat back the threat and defeat this enemy. Many of you are scared and wondering if people you know are hurt or worse. Rest assured, knowing that no student from Hogwarts perished in the attack today."

A huge, collective gasp of relief echoed around the Great Hall. But I could not share in it. How could I, when I knew that Dumbledore was mistaken?

Professor Smith must have not had the chance to tell him yet. Trembling, I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my head against my thighs.

"Many were injured, and thanks to Madam Pomfrey and St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, we expect everyone to make a full recovery."

Another cheer went up at this. I kept my face hidden.

"In light of the events that transpired today, I will be postponing the graduation ceremony for seventh year students until July 5th. Hogwarts will remain open next year for those who wish to learn within its walls. Professor Carriage and other guidance counselors will be available to you for the remainder of your day. Additionally, we will be closing the school for the summer and your parents will come to collect you. Others are offered free transit on the Hogwarts Express, which will be making a few stops before its final destination in London.

"In the face of our enemies, we will not be shaken. I leave you with these words: If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short, and there is no time for hate. Bind together. Stay united. Four strands woven together are not as easily broken as one."

"What the devil did he mean?" James muttered.

"He means we need to stick together." Remus interpreted. "We're stronger together than apart."

James cleared his throat. "Merlin's beard… he's coming this way. Dumbledore's coming to _us!_"

I lifted my head at last. I knew I had to tell them, I knew it was my duty. And James was right: Dumbledore was indeed heading this way, students parting for him like Moses crossing the Red Sea.

"Guys… listen." I whispered, the words catching in my throat as I rose to my feet on shaky, stiff legs. "Not everyone made it."

The relief they'd all had vanished. I could feel Remus staring at me, but I couldn't look him in the face. Lily rejoined us, puzzled.

"What do you mean? Dumbledore just said…"

I shook my head. "Dumbledore wasn't fully informed. Angelina's... dead."

The Headmaster reached us. He dipped his head to me once. "Professor Smith informed you I would like to speak with you?"

Biting my lip, I nodded. I dared to look into the faces of my friends as I followed Dumbledore out. James and Sirius looked stunned. Peter's mouth hung open. Lily's hands were clapped over her lips. And Remus… his eyes were wide, frozen, like I had just dropped an anvil over his head.

Like a coward, I left them behind to deal with the fallout of my announcement. Dumbledore led me swiftly through the double doors of the Great Hall, down the empty corridors and to the stone griffin guarding the entrance to his office. "Fudge flies."

The statue sprang aside. Dumbledore led me up the winding staircase into his office. The vaulted ceiling gave the impression of being inside of a high tower. Fawkes gave his odd cry from his brass perch. I didn't want to sit down, so I stayed on my feet, pacing around his office, looking at different trinkets and objects.

Dumbledore sat down at his desk, steepling his fingers. I could feel him watching me as I kept my back to him, intent on hiding my true emotions of roiling fear and grief. Angelina had once been my friend. And now she would never have the chance to redeem herself.

"Miss Harkstone, please, have a seat."

"You can call me Amber, Professor," I said quietly, unwilling obliging him. I took a seat in the stuffy red chintz chair, tangling my fingers together. I felt numb, as if my capacity for absorption had been reached and now everything else was spilling over the edges of my mind.

Dumbledore's electric blue eyes pierced me. He indicated toward my neck. "That's quite an exquisite necklace."

I touched the opal pendant. I wore it so often it felt like a body part, like a finger or an ear. "Oh. Thank you. It was a gift from my sister."

"Those aren't opals, are they?" Professor Dumbledore asked. "May I see it?"

Reluctantly, I unclasped the necklace and wordlessly handed it over to Dumbledore. His hands were ancient, prominent blue veins mapping the backs of his hands. I realized, suddenly, how old he must be.

He turned the necklace over and over in his arms, adjusting his spectacles.

"Do you mind if borrow this for awhile?" He asked after a few moments of scrutiny. "I have a friend who would be very interested in the gems in this necklace."

He must have seen my hesitance, because he added, "only for a short while, and we won't remove the stones. I would have it delivered back to you by owl over the summer holiday."

A big part of me wanted to snatch the pendant back, but I reminded myself that this was _Dumbledore_ giving me his word. Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards of all time. And if I didn't trust him, then whom could I?

At last, I nodded in agreement. Professor Dumbledore placed the necklace down carefully beside him and focused his full attention on me. I squirmed under the analytical force of his gaze, feeling very much like a bug under a microscope.

"I heard what you told your friends." He said quietly. "That a girl is indeed dead."

I nodded miserably, hot tears pricking at my eyes. "Yes."

He bowed his head, tapped his desk once. "Tell me how you found her."

I explained to him what I had told Professor Smith. "I don't… I can't remember anything after a certain period of time. Is that normal?"

Professor Dumbledore looked troubled. "Perhaps. If you've indeed sustained a concussion, memory loss is to be expected. The death of a Hogwarts student within the walls of the school has not occurred for thirty years."

"Moaning Myrtle." I realized. "Professor Smith mentioned that a girl named Myrtle Warren died when she attended the school. She's the ghost that haunts the girl's bathrooms downstairs, isn't she?"

Dumbledore made a noise of assent. "Professor Smith is correct. It is a terrible stain against our school to lose a student, and this year now, we have lost two."

"I know." I murmured, remembering the attack on Platform 9 ¾, the attack today. "Professor, I think I know who did this, and I think…Well, I know I'm only thirteen, but I know something's not right with some of these boys. The Death Eaters."

And I confided in him what I felt I should have done long ago. I told him about Mulciber and his usage of the Cruciatus Curse, which he already knew about. I told him about the scuffle in the halls when I had taken Polyjuice Potion and appeared to be Lily Evans and how I believed that they were meeting Folsom in the dead of night to learn how to become followers of Lord Voldemort. I told him about spotting Mulciber with a Dark Mark and Peter's confession. And then I told him every detail about Folsom, from the first unlucky encounter to the last time I had seen him, when he had nearly bitten Professor Smith. I even told him about taking illegal Polyjuice Potion a second time and hearing Folsom and Orion Black speak of their support for Voldemort.

I didn't know how long I'd spoken, but my mouth was dry when I finally stopped. Professor Dumbledore pushed a glass of water at me. I drank gratefully.

He sat silent for a long time, staring down at the whorls of grain in his desk, his chin resting on his propped up hands. Fawkes gave another low, musical cry from his perch. I awaited the verdict, stripped bare, all of the facts now given.

"Why did you wait so long to come forth?" Dumbledore asked finally, and he sounded weary, tired.

Shame burned my cheeks. "I was afraid of what would happen if you didn't believe me. If I would get into trouble. But Professor, I would rather be expelled and face the the Wizengamot than keep anything else from you. Maybe… maybe if I'd spoken sooner, things would be different." I clenched my fists so hard that my fingernails left C-shaped marks in my palms. "Lives could have been saved."

Dumbledore didn't yell. He didn't say anything. He stood slowly and walked to one of his shelves, displaying mysterious objects and trinkets.

"Professor, I'm really sorry." I said softly. "I didn't realize how damaging secrets could be. I was afraid."

"Quite understandable." Professor Dumbledore said, hands folded behind his back. "You are very young, Amber, and I don't expect you to think like older people do. You have had much put on your shoulders from a young age, and I do not blame you for the death of Miss Azadian."

Choked up, I took a shaky sip of water.

"Professor Smith has told me you have made remarkable progress this year." Dumbledore continued. "As it is, I feel that next year, I will be able to take you on as my apprentice. Once a week, you and I will have private teaching lessons. I would ask that you do not share this information with anyone, except those that deserve that trust. I imagine you have Remus Lupin and Lily Evans in mind."

I nodded, struggling to comprehend the swirling emotions of confusion and apprehension. "Professor, why would you need to train me as your apprentice?"

Dumbledore looked at me intently. "All will reveal itself, in due time. All that I ask of you, Amber, is that you remain close to your friends and continue to perform well in your studies." He paused, then added, "I am so sorry for your loss today. And I'm sorry that you felt that you could not confide in me sooner."

I bit my lip. Losing Angelina wasn't nearly as bad as realizing how foolish I had been for these past years. If I had only told Dumbledore about my fears and experiences sooner, things could have been much different.

"I'm sorry." I buried my face in my hands. "Professor, I wish-"

He held up a hand for silence. I immediately closed my mouth.

"Dear Amber, when you have lived as long as I have, you learn that trust is a very precious commodity that we must be absolutely certain of before we extend it. As it is, I admire your candor and your sense of concealment. Go in peace."

But I felt like I still shared part of the blame. Dumbledore and I left the office together. At the Great Hall, he gave me a nod of dismissal. A third of the students were already gone, parents having retrieved them. I had been gone for a long time, an hour or two passed by. When I approached Lily, she rose to meet me. She gazed into my face seriously, green eyes filled with unspoken concerns.

"I'm fine." I told her without waiting for her to speak. "I told Dumbledore everything."

Remus joined us. He was white and pale, peaky, like he looked near the full moon. "When you say everything…"

"I mean everything about Folsom, about the Slytherins." I said, giving Lily a look. "I'll explain more later. Right now, I just want to go home."

Lily's lower lip quivered. "Will you tell me on the train? I have to take the Express into London. There's a stop in Bellinghall, isn't there?"

"I'm taking the train as well." Remus said, his voice strangely vague and distant. "I want to know what happened to her."

I bit my lip, shaking my head. "I don't know how it happened, Remus." I was careful to step around specific words. "But I'll tell you both everything I know."

James and Sirius stood up. Peter was like a barnacle on the hull of a ship. He looked like he would never separate himself from them again.

"We want to know what Dumbledore told you." James said rudely.

"If they get to know, we do too." Sirius added.

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes. Instead of snapping, _That's none of your business_, I said, "I'll tell you later."

"But we're Marauders!" James protested. "Remember?"

I gave him a measured look. I could still feel the phantom burn of the Unbreakable Vow against my wrist as I regarded him and Sirius. My careless words and actions stopped now. "How could I forget? I'm the fifth Marauder."

Without looking at Lily or Remus, I left the Hall, heading towards Ravenclaw Tower, to pack up and leave Hogwarts once more.

* * *

When I had finished filling in Remus and Lily in the train compartment, they both stared at me like I had just informed them that the sky was due to fall any second. I had told them everything I had told Dumbledore, surprised at the cathartic feeling it brought. And then I confessed the reason why I had been so melancholy after Virginia passed: because for a long time, I had believed that I was directly responsible, when in reality, I was innocent.

Remus buried his face in his hands. Lily had tears running down her cheeks. Embarrassed, I conjured a box of tissues for her. Lily blew her nose delicately and stuffed the used napkin into a rubbish slot.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me." She whispered, almost accusingly.

I lowered my head. "I know."

"We could have helped you."

"I know."

"_Dumbledore _could have helped you."

I lifted my head a fraction, glaring at her. "I get it, alright? I was stupid. I should have told someone, I see that now. But I thought I was protecting everyone by not."

Lily shook her head faintly. "Oh, Amber. Don't you see? You tried to solve it all on your own, and look what happened."

"Say it, Lily." I said quietly, appalled at what she was implying. "Say how it's my fault that Angelina is gone."

Lily's eyes popped. "No, no! That's not what I meant, Amber. What I mean is (and I'm sure Remus agrees with me), that you have a solidarity-intelligence problem. You think you're helping everyone by not troubling them with your concerns, because that's how you were brought up. Your parents, especially your mum, never paid any attention to your worries, so you grew up thinking that you had to keep it to yourself and solve it. And at the same time, you took on the full responsibility to free up others to handle their own problems. Don't you see, Amber? You've got a broken way of thinking. You need to be able to trust us and confide in us. If not us, then certainly Professor Smith or Dumbledore!"

Remus had not said a word. But he looked like he agreed with Lily in the way he didn't recoil from her.

I stared at Lily, feeling like she had just sifted through my most painful memories and slapped me with a diagnosis.

"I've got solitary-intelligence?" I repeated.

Lily nodded. "Yes. I studied it in one of my extra-curriculars. Muggle Studies. There was a very in-depth section on human psychology, and, well, it's just how it is. I know you, Amber, and I just wish you'd come forward sooner. That's all."

I looked at Remus, still wondering how he was holding up under all of this. Angelina wasn't his girlfriend anymore, but they _had _been dating at one point, even though it had galled me for months. "You haven't said anything."

Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out a slab of Honeydukes chocolate. He bit off a piece and heaved a heavy sigh before answering.

"I think Lily's right, Amber. I'm sorry you felt you couldn't tell us your secrets. Nobody said it was easy, but it's a shame that we couldn't help you because you wouldn't let us."

"Nobody said it would be this hard if I didn't start out right." I said quietly. I knew I was being defensive, but I wanted to be honest with them now. Completely honest.

"No more running circles." Remus said. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, green eyes piercing into me just like Dumbledore's had. "We're in this together. No matter what."

Lily nodded. "I told you earlier this year; I'm in it for the long haul, missy. If what you said is true and Voldemort is trying to take over the world, or whatever he's up to, then we need to stick together. And fight back against evil."

"I can't believe Angelina's gone." Remus confessed. Lily reached over and took his hand in a sibling-like way; Severus had been found safe.

"I'm so sorry, Remus." I whispered. "They'll catch whoever did this and give her justice."

The train was slowing down. It was my stop. I stared at both of them, throat tight. All this time, I had believed I was protecting them by not confiding in them. And it turned out I had been doing the opposite.

"I love you guys." I said thickly as the train eased to a halt and I scooped my trunk in my hand. "I'm sorry."

Lily stood up and hugged me. "We're sisters. You can't get rid of me that easily."

I gave a watery laugh. Remus, expression unreadable, rose and embraced me tightly. I closed my eyes, trying to commit him to memory. I couldn't believe that at one point I had believed he had feelings for me. All this time, he had seen me as just a close friend, maybe like a sister.

It was better this way, living in reality.

"I'll write both of you this summer." I promised as I shuffled out of the compartment. I felt full to the bursting with all that I had experienced this year, especially this afternoon, and knew this day would live with me forever.

"Bye, Amber." Lily said, waving. "Write me as soon as you can."

Remus waved, mimicking Lily. "Take care, love."

I hopped off the train step and onto the illuminated platform of Bellinghall. It was after nightfall, and only a few commuters milled around the concrete alongside me. Disregarding the rules about underage magic, I drew my wand and said, "_Accio Silver Arrow."_

The Undetectable Extension Charm in my trunk made the broom fit perfectly inside. I pulled it out and added a weightless charm to the trunk. I mounted the broom and felt the cool June air rush over my face as I skimmed over the road, high enough to be above the power lines and out of the line of sight for Muggles. I followed the road down to the yellow bungalow nestled near the winding river, coming to a stop at the front door. Dismounting, I walked inside of the front door without knocking. "I'm home." I called.

Immediately, Mum leapt up from the couch, rushing into me with a strangled cry of relief. She crushed me to her chest, sobbing. I let her hold me, patting her back once as I let my luggage drop to the floor.

"Oh, _Amber_, I was so worried!" Mum cried. "It's all over the news. The _Daily Prophet_'s already issued an emergency edition today about the attack, and the radio is going on and on about it… oh, darling, I'm so relieved you're safe. I would never have been able to live with myself if anything had happened to you!"

She gave me another rib-crushing hug. She burst into tears. I hugged her back again until she released me, startled that Mum actually cared this deeply.

"Naomi's upstairs sleeping." Mum said. "I sent her to bed early after the first report came on. I didn't want her to worry. Oh, darling, I'm so glad you're home safe. You had an uneventful ride home? It's not too far to Hogwarts from here, you know, only about thirty miles."

I nodded. "Mum, why don't you go make a pot of tea? I'll go unpack and come back and we can talk more."

It was more of a distraction tactic to get Mum to calm down. She wiped at her eyes and nodded in agreement. "Alright. Go on upstairs and get into your pajamas and we'll have tea and talk." She gave a tremulous smile. "Better late than never for us to have mother-daughter time, I suppose."

My heart squeezed in my chest. The thought of Angelina's parents sprang to mind. Never again would her mother have time to spend with her, because someone had killed her.

And spared me.

"Where's Dad?" I asked as I headed upstairs, though I already suspected.

"He's working." Mum told me, looking upset. "He tried to come Amber, but the Ministry said if he tried to leave work early during an emergency, they'd fire him and press charges. He couldn't, sweetheart, he had to stay. I'm so sorry. Are you sure you're alright, dear? You're so quiet."

I shrugged, mired in the numbness again. "I'll be alright, Mum. I'll be right back."

Mum sniffled. "I'll be right here."

I left her to prepare the tea. My bedroom smelled like dust and neglect. Clearly, no one had been inside since I had been home for Christmas break, six months ago.

I set my trunk on the bed and set to putting everything back where it belonged. Five minutes into the process, Soren fluttered at my window, a letter clutched in his beak. I opened the protesting window and let him fly in. I reached for the letter, but Soren dropped it before I could take it.

"Soren!" I scolded as the owl descended upon a small mouse that had scurried across my bedroom floor. I made a revolted noise as he sunk his talons into the small gray rodent, clearly about to enjoy his dinner. The letter had skittered beneath the void between the bed and the floor, and I had to crouch down on my knees to retrieve it.

Except there were two letters underneath the bed.

Frowning, I pulled both out and studied them. One of them was layered with dust. Clearly, it had been lying forgotten there for a long time. The second was crisp, fresh, and smelled new. I tore open the newer letter, reading it first.

_Dear Amber,_

_I am writing to inform you that I will be resigning my position as your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. Due to the recent occurrences this year, the Ministry feels that my skills as an Auror and my extensive personal knowledge of the Dark Arts are more greatly needed in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Because my time will be completely consumed by this endeavor, Professor Dumbledore will be continuing your training in your fourth year at Hogwarts._

_I am sorry I was unable to tell you the news in person. You have grown so much in this past year, and it has been a true pleasure helping to cultivate your skills as a witch. I am sure we will meet again._

_Yours truly,_

_Willow H. Smith_

I set the letter down carefully on the desk, filled with disappointment. So that was why Dumbledore was going to take over my training. Because now, Professor Smith was being called back into action.

"Things are definitely changing," I told Soren as he devoured the mouse. "I can't believe this. That's a new teacher for each year now. No one stays at the Defense Against the Dark Arts post for longer than a year."

I opened the second letter. I could smell the fragrant tea wafting up the stairs; Mum must be nearly finished. I scanned the letter quickly, assuming it was just one of many correspondences between me and Lily from the previous summer.

It wasn't.

_20 June 1972_

_Dear Amber,_

_I hope everything is going well for you this summer so far. It's only been three days since holiday started, but it feels like it's been so much longer. I think it's because you and the other Marauders have become so enmeshed with my life that it's hard to picture it without you all._

_I want to correspond with you regularly while we're apart. I miss your wit, your comebacks, and your opinions. James is brave and proud, Sirius is arrogant and obnoxious, and Peter is timid and shy. But together, all of us make a great team. I'm still surprised that you agreed to take Polyjuice Potion not just once, but twice, and managed not to get caught._

_I agree with you that Folsom is a vampire. I think we ought to consider telling Dumbledore, because I think he might be the only one who is able to do something about this. But since Folsom singled you out the most, I think this should be your decision. I'll support whatever decision you make._

_I know we're young, but what I feel for you isn't just friendship. You're my best friend, and more. Whatever it is, I want to see if you feel the same. I miss you when we're apart, and I'm a better person when you're around. _

_If you would let it happen, I think you and I could have a future. As friends, or more. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. _

_Love,_

_Remus J. Lupin_

The letter dropped from my shocked hands. I sat still for several seconds, trying to comprehend what I had just read.

I scanned the date again. _20 June 1972. _Nearly a whole year ago.

It explained everything: his stony silence when I hadn't acknowledged his declaration in our subsequent letters, the hand-holdings, the subtle flirting that I now saw clearly as ever, the jealousy and the hurt we'd both felt as Angelina entered his life and Sean swam deeper into mine.

It made it so clear now.

Remus and Lily may have chastised me about keeping secrets, but this was… more than that. Miscommunication turned to misunderstanding, turned to mistakes.

I put my face in my hands and scrubbed at it, trying to push back the rising feelings of hope and excitement. All this time, I had been right: Remus _did _feel the same way.

And now, was it too late?

I brushed away at the tears flowing freely down my cheeks, heart overflowing. I folded up the letter and neatly stacked it on top of Professor Smith's. I took several deep breaths, forcing myself to calm down.

More than the attack today, more than finding Angelina, more than Mum showing the depth of her emotions upon my return home, this letter left me floored like nothing else had.

I rose from my chair carefully. I knew what I had to do now. I could see the path of action presented before me, a rare opportunity I intended to take. I wasn't going to attempt this new challenge alone. I was going to face my fears and take a chance.

I was going to go downstairs and have tea with my mother. We would discuss friends and school, talk about the ordeal Hogwarts had endured that day, and broach the forbidden subject of love.

I would try Helga Hufflepuff's method and practice forgiveness. I would give Mum a second chance, in honor of Angelina and the time we had already lost. And, after seeking her advice, I would write back to Remus with a long-overdue response.

In spite of myself, I found myself smiling like a fool. In spite of everything that had happened, goodness and love still remained. I set off down the stairs, ready to finally open up to my mother, the coming summer already looking much better than the last.


	46. Year 4: The Gray Lady

Helena Ravenclaw was hiding.

She had run away from home years before, after stealing her mother's diadem. Etched upon the intricate surface were the words: _Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure._

She was one of the first students to ever attend her mother's school, but that didn't mean anyone noticed her. It was always about her mother, the wise Rowena Ravenclaw. No one ever had time to listen to the ideas of the lesser Helena Ravenclaw.

So she had stolen the diadem, in hopes of becoming cleverer and more important than her mother. Helena had run away from Scotland, from Hogwarts, and from her mother, the very person she sought the most approval from, all the way to Albania.

So far, her plan had been successful. With the diadem upon her long raven-colored hair, she had been the wisest, smartest person in the country. People from all around came to her for advice, for answers to questions and riddles otherwise unsolved. And she acquiesced, for a fee. Soon, she was as wealthy as she was famous. But still, not as famous as her mother, one of the legendary founders of Hogwarts.

Helena remained in Albania for many years, but secretly wished to return home. She missed her mother terribly, despite their differences and her jealous aspiration to overtake her. She was proud, too proud, just like her father, Godric Gryffindor. She couldn't help being half-Ravenclaw, half-Gryffindor anymore than she could help being born with black hair or gray eyes. So she stayed in her secret dwelling deep in the forest of Albania, venturing into town and returning to her private abode at night.

One day, Helena noticed a familiar face for the first time since she had first left home. It was an older man, with a long graying wig upon his large head. The former Slytherin named Arnold Barnes still commanded attention and respect in his fifties, and when Helena saw him staring at her from the village square, she knew he had come for her, and her alone.

She tried to hide from him using magic, but the stubborn man was a wizard too. She holed herself up in a crowded pub, but he followed her inside and scanned the sea of faces for her. She knew that he would not stop until he found her and made his intentions known.

Helena escaped from the back of the pub and sprinted for the thick black trees in the gathering darkness. The diadem gleamed upon her head. Afraid that the precious item she had stolen would be repossessed from her, she quickly hid it inside of a hollowed-out pine tree and turned to flee to her secret house.

Right behind her was Arnold.

She was unable to stifle the gasp of fear that escaped from her parted lips. She drew herself up to her fullest height, but she felt cold and vulnerable without her mother's diadem upon her head. She stared into the beady eyes of Baron Arnold Barnes and held her ground.

"Greetings, my dear," Arnold said, cheeks pink. Helena felt a rise of revulsion and fought it back down. The old fool had harbored feelings for her ever since she had graduated Hogwarts, and that was over fifteen years ago. She had never been interested in the rich, portly man, not only because he was twenty-six years her senior, but because he was just like her mother: trying to quench her relentless thirst for knowledge, trying to smother out her fiery passion with rules and regulations.

"I cannot say that I am happy to see you, Arnold." Helena responded coolly.

"My sweet, how long has it been?" Arnold simpered, trying to disarm her with his charm. It didn't work. "Ten years?"

"Perhaps." Helena replied coldly. "Why are you here?"

Arnold blinked. "Surely you must have guessed by now."

Helena felt indignant fury rising and fought to keep her temper. "You have come to reclaim my mother's diadem for her."

Arnold's eyes widened. "No, Helena. Your mother is deathly ill and has only weeks left to live. She has clung to life on her deathbed in hopes that she will be able to see a final time."

Helena felt as if the breath had been knocked from her. Trying to gather her bearings, and turned from him, shocked. "You are certain?"

Arnold Barnes made a noise of assent. "She awaits your return, my sweet." He hesitated, then added, "as do I."

Revulsion sparked her wayward temper. Turning to face him, she glared into his piggy face and felt nothing but disgust. "You, Baron Barnes, are wasting your time and your flattery."

But he was as persistent as ever. "Surely you must have suspected my affections for you run deeper than that of a friend. I love you, Helena, and wish to make you my wife upon your arrival home."

He took her hand into his and stroked her wrist lovingly with his thumb. Helena jerked back roughly.

"I will _not _return to Scotland!" Helena said angrily. "Leave me! You have no business coming here. Leave, I said!"

But Baron Arnold Barnes had a temper to match, even overtake, Helena's. Face turning red, he grabbed her forearm roughly. "I've had just about enough of you, lass!"

Helena tried to break free, but his grip only tightened. "You're the one who wants me to… Arnold, you're hurting me!"

"You've embarrassed your mother, and you have embarrassed me!" Arnold shouted, inches from her face.

"You're the one who always made a religion of following rules!" Helena shouted back. "You can't tell me what to do or tell me how to live my life! I am smarter and cleverer than my mother ever was. You're an old fool, Arnold Barnes, and you _will_ let go of me!"

"You're acting like a child." Baron Arnold Barnes bellowed, releasing her roughly.

"And you're a _beast_!" Helena shouted, forgetting all sense of caution, completely bypassing the small voice in her head that desperately begged her to calm down. "That's what you are! I'll _never _love you! I'd rather _die _than marry you!"

Baron Arnold Barnes gasped, as if she had reached out and struck him. Then he stormed toward her, brandishing a knife he had drawn from his belt. "You are a daughter of Rowena Ravenclaw!" He shouted as he came for her. "And I expect you to act like one!"

Helena felt the first white-hot stab of the knife. And the second, and the third. On the fourth stab, the Baron finally stopped, looking aghast with remorse.

Helena raised her bloody hand from her punctured stomach to examine it curiously. It was so vibrant, the color of the blood that sustained her life. And so fragile. Without it, she would surely die. It was leaving her so quickly, staining the resplendent robes of the Baron crimson with her life's flow.

She was dead within a minute.

Sickened with himself, horrified at what he had done, Baron Arnold Barnes turned the knife on himself.

Helena Ravenclaw did return to Hogwarts, but as a ghost. Arnold Barnes accompanied her, but kept well away from the love of his life that he had sent to the limbo between the worlds of life and death. Helena was not able to bade her mother farewell, who departed this life and into the next realm after death when Helena and Arnold failed to return within the month. And so Helena remained bound between the worlds.

Her mother's lost diadem remained hidden in the tree, deep inside Albania, until one day, nearly a thousand years after her death, a strange, charming boy by the name of Tom Riddle approached her and asked her about the whereabouts of the object. He promised to destroy the tiara, to redeem her and end the relentless pursuit of her mother's diadem.

Drawn to his charisma and allure, she told the story of her life when she had breathed air and blood had run through her veins, and where the stolen diadem was safely concealed.

The Gray Lady had no idea what she had done.


	47. He Who Must Not Be Named

I shot up into a sitting position, panting hard. The dream had felt so real, too real, like I had actually witnessed the events of what had transpired between Helena Ravenclaw and Baron Arnold Barnes in the Albanian Forest as if I had been there myself. But it had been well over nine hundred years ago. This was 1973, not 1000 A.D.

Drenched in sweat, I untangled my legs from the twisted sheets and peered outside through the thin curtains. It was very early morning, the sun peeking out from behind the ridge of the high green mountains that circled around the valley. My heartbeat was slowing in my ears, but I was too awake now to fall back to sleep.

My feet touched the cold hardwood floors and sent a shiver up my back. It was late June, but in the heights of the Scottish Highlands, the seasons had little impact on the weather. After freshening up in the small bathroom situated between my bedroom and Virginia's old room, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a dark knitted sweater to ward off the chill. Heavy white clouds hung near the bases of the surrounding mountains, and I knew within a few hours, the sun would have warmed up the earth enough to bring the temperature back up to normal.

Downstairs in the small kitchen, I brewed a pot of tea over the embers in the hearth and fried two eggs in a cast-iron skillet. I added two slices of sourdough bread to the mix and brought them to the table, opening the latest edition of The Daily Prophet that an owl had delivered.

**TERROR AT HOGWARTS: LORD VOLDEMORT IS TO BLAME**

_Two weeks after the unprovoked attack on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Ministry officials believe they are finally able to identify the mastermind behind the terrorism. _

_"We had to make certain we were correct before announcing this critical information," Eugenia Jenkins, the current Minister of Magic, says to reporters gathered at a long overdue press conference, "but we are confident in laying the blame of these heinous attacks at the feet of Lord Voldemort, leader of the rebellious group known as the Death Eaters."_

_Critics have hounded the current Minister of Magic for the past two weeks, demanding deserved answers for the attack on Hogwarts that left one student dead and many others wounded and traumatized. The sole victim, Angelina Azadian, was a third-year Ravenclaw who was found dead in the depths of the Forbidden Forest, nearly a mile from the school grounds._

_Details on the cause of her death were not released._

_Lord Voldemort, or simply Voldemort, has been a relatively unknown wizard in the past several decades since his departure from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His pureblood views and anti-Muggle beliefs have attracted the support of several wizards and witches who practice or support the Dark Arts. Once believed a non-threat, Lord Voldemort has cast aside this false passive facade as his supporters launched an attack on innocent schoolchildren in order to intimidate and terrorize the wizarding community. Little information is known about Lord Voldemort, but the very real threat of his supporters' zeal for his ideals and his own thirst for power have had dire consequences._

_When asked for a response to this act of violence, Eugenia Jenkins merely responded, "we are working on an effective strategy to combat this blatant attack on the innocent."_

_Eugenia Jenkins faced heavy criticism last year after the attack on Platform 9 ¾, which has also been labeled an attack by the Death Eaters. Her slow response left many wondering if she is up to the challenge of dispensing judgment and punishment for those responsible for both attacks. Critics also called into question Jenkins' ability to cope with the rising violence in the wizarding community._

_Bartimus Crouch Sr. and Harold Munch have been particularly vocal about their strategy for containing and stopping Lord Voldemort's path of destruction, but neither were available for comment. _

_Continued on A4…_

"You're up early."

I dropped the paper on the table as Dad walked in, pouring himself a cup of black coffee from an urn that had already brewed itself with magic. Even at his age, he still was handsome with his rugged looks and golden hair and stubble. It was easy to see why he and Mum had married at such a young age.

"I couldn't sleep." I said honestly, glancing up as Soren pecked at the window. Dad let him in. The barn owl prompted dropped a letter on my plate. Predictably, it was addressed from Lily, all the way in Cokesworth. She had written at least one letter a day since we had left Hogwarts, mostly voicing her concerns over Severus and his increasing interest and fascination with the Dark Arts. It seemed that now, after the violence at the hands of the Death Eaters at Hogwarts, she was finally starting to see how dangerous his fascination really was.

_About time_, I thought as I sipped my cup of tea. Dad sat at the table, picking up the dropped paper. He scanned the front page briefly and then lifted his green eyes to me. "Wasn't she your friend? This girl?"

I remembered the fights between us over Remus, the blank expression on her face when I realized she was no longer alive. "Not really, no."

Dad shrugged and put the paper down. "Your mother has something important to tell you later."

I nearly dropped the cup. "Is she pregnant?"

Dad choked on his coffee. Spluttering, he waved at his red face. "Merlin's beard, no. No, it's something else. I'm sure you'll like it."

"Oh." I deliberated opening Lily's letter but didn't want to be rude. "Dad, are you working today?"

"Only for a few hours." He promised. "I'll be home in time for dinner."

I wanted to ask Dad more about Voldemort. "Dad, do you think that this Lord Voldemort person will take over the Ministry?"

Dad's face went from red to white. He pursed his lips. "Amber, we will not speak of his name under this roof. Is that clear?"

I frowned. "But it's just a name."

But Dad put his cup of coffee down on the table hard enough to startle me. "No, Amber. I don't want that name spoken. It's a dangerous, evil name. Please respect my wishes."

I wanted to argue, but at that moment Naomi stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily. She was seven, almost eight, and quickly outgrowing her clothes. She still enjoyed being the baby of the family and made a show of groping her way to a chair. I almost laughed at her clumsy manner but was still annoyed with Dad.

"Ny, it's barely five thirty." Dad chided. "Go back to bed."

Naomi scraped her chair closer to me, hugging me sloppily with her skinny arms. "I want to enjoy time with my big sister."

Now I did laugh. I held her close, trying to keep her young and innocent for as long as possible.

"Can we play Quidditch?" Naomi asked sleepily. "I want to see some of your moves. Mum and Dad said you were very good at that match against Hufflepuff."

I made eye contact with Dad. He made a habit of changing the subject whenever I tried to bring up Quidditch, but I knew Naomi wouldn't let him off the hook. So I brightly asked, "Yeah, Dad, why don't you tell me and Naomi about _your_ days playing Quidditch at Hogwarts?"

Dad's eyes shuttered. "We'll discuss it at dinner."

"We can talk about it at breakfast." I suggested lightly.

"Amber." Dad warned.

I shrugged, sipping my tea nonchalantly. "Professor Smith said you were a good player."

Naomi was too drowsy to inquire. Dad silently buttered a slice of toast and nibbled it while reading the paper. Naomi snored lightly, having fallen back asleep. Gingerly, I spread her small figure out on the window seat and brought an afghan from the living room to cover her with. I opened the letter from Lily and scanned through it.

_Dear Amber,_

_So, thank you very much for waiting a year to tell me about Remus. He really _does_ like you! I hope you write him back quickly and share your feelings. Be honest! And be quick before some other girl snatches him up again. Sev and I found a colony of doxies in the forest yesterday. They are absolute nightmares! We almost broke the Decree for Reasonable Restriction of Underage Magic, but thankfully we escaped into my house before we had to use any magic to defend ourselves. Tuney is going off to university this fall. I'm not sure we'll ever have the chance to live together again._

_I miss you. Write back soon please._

_Love, _

_Lily_

Smiling, I reached for a quill on the table to pen a response, but Dad surprised me by clearing his throat.

"Is that a boy's letter?" He asked, not looking up from the _Daily Prophet_.

"No, it's from Lily." I said matter-of-factly as I selected an owl quill from a jar full of quills and began writing a reply.

"Ah. That's the redhead I saw at the match, right?"

"Yes." I paused, unsure of what to say. I still hadn't written to Remus yet about his letter, but I knew if I didn't do it soon, Lily's warning would prove true, and I would lose him again.

But did I want to travel down that road with Remus? What if it ended badly? Could our friendship survive? And then there was Sean to consider.

"Do you talk to boys at all?" Dad pressed, sipping his coffee, feigning casualness.

I jumped guiltily. "Maybe." I hedged.

Dad didn't look convinced of my innocence. "You hardly mention your friends, other than this Lily. Who else do you run round with?"

"Dad!" I moaned. "Please, can we not talk about this?"

But Dad looked more interested than ever. Setting his cup down, he picked up his wand. "What are their names?"

I rolled my names. "If you really must know, I'm friends with James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Sean Locke… and Peter Pettigrew."

Dad's expression changed. "Remus Lupin? He's Lyall's boy. He has… lycanthropy."

I folded my arms. "So?"

Dad watched me carefully. "He's dangerous once a month, don't you think?"

I shook my head. "Unbelievable." I rose from my chair, filled with indignant anger.

Dad scraped his chair back, rising. "Amber, honey, I'm not saying you can't be friends with him. I'm just saying you need to be careful around werewolves."

"Because they have a furry little problem, right?" I asked scathingly. "Remus is one of my best friends, Dad. He would _never_ hurt me."

Dad didn't look convinced. "Just be careful, sweetheart. You can still be friends with him, but please, just… be safe. That's all I'm trying to say."

I brought my dish to the sink and began washing it. I scrubbed it much more forcefully than necessary. I could feel Dad watching me, but I didn't care. I was defensive of Remus and didn't care if Dad suspected why that was. I liked him, even loved him as a friend… and maybe more.

I shut my eyes as thoughts of Sean drifted into my mind. I was so confused, torn between the two boys. What I felt for both of them made my head spin and knees weak, but neither of them knew how much they affected me.

"I'd like to meet this Remus boy." Dad said, interrupting my thoughts. "Invite him over for dinner. And your friend Lily too."

"Maybe." I said, even though the thought of seeing my two closest friends soon made my heart soar.

Dad shuffled into the living room and turned on the radio to listen to the news before leaving for work. Naomi slept peacefully on the window seat. Mum was still upstairs.

I quickly finished penning a letter to Lily.

_Dear Lily,_

_I'm sorry that Petunia isn't being the big sister she should be. She's jealous that you're a witch and she's not. Try to forgive her and let her come to you when she's ready. I would love to have you visit this summer for a weekend if you would like. I don't know what to say to Remus, but I don't want to rush into it and make a fool of myself again._

_Looking forward to your response._

_Amber_

Soren nipped my finger playfully as I sealed the letter and tied it to his leg. He flew out of the open window, disappearing into the gathering sunrise. I checked the spoon clock on the opposite wall. It was nearly six. Hours until dinner. _I could get a jump-start on summer homework…_ I debated as I put the quill back into the jar.

"Sweetheart," Dad called as he grabbed a fistful of Floo Powder, briefcase in the other hand, "won't you do some chores around the yard today? Feed the horses, collect eggs, mow the lawn, tidy up? Also, the garden needs to be de-gnomed."

I saluted Dad. _So much for summer homework. _"Yes, sir."

"That's my girl." Dad said proudly as he disappeared into the green flames.

Half-smiling, half-sighing, I set off to doing my full day of chores. Before I had even collected my first chicken egg, I had completely forgotten all about the faceless danger named Lord Voldemort.

* * *

Six p.m. arrived quickly. The sun warmed the ground up to a pleasant twenty-two degrees Celsius, and I ended up changing into shorts and a loose t-shirt. After a quick shower, I joined my family in the kitchen, helping set the table.

"Oh, darling, we'll be eating outside tonight." Mum said as I started to set the plates on the dining room table. "It's such nice weather. Naomi, why don't you fill the glasses with ice water?"

Minutes later, Mum brought out a large ceramic bowl of buckwheat pasta salad, garnished with tomatoes, parsley, and carrots. Dad followed her with a loaf of freshly baked bread and butter. The heavy odor of June hung in the late afternoon air, filled with the scent of the mown grass I had cut earlier and the sound of chirping crickets.

After we blessed the food and passed around portions, Mum said, "So, how was work, dear?"

"Busy, very busy." Dad remarked, taking a slice of warm bread and buttering it. "The Ministry's been in an uproar ever since… well, 'ever since'. They're trying to decide how to keep Hogwarts safe for students. Security's going to be increased a hundredfold over the summer. In the meantime, Muggles are being affected by these Death Eaters too."

"Really?" I asked, immediately intrigued. "But why would Voldemort go after Muggles? They aren't a threat."

Dad gave me a hard stare. "Amber, we aren't to call him by that name. If you're referring to him, it's He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You-Know-Who."

"But-"

"No compromise. Understood?"

Glowering down at my plate, I nodded once. Dad sighed and took a long swig of his iced tea.

"So," Naomi piped up, oblivious to the tension, "Amber said you played Quidditch when you were at Hogwarts, Daddy! Why did you stop?"

Dad flushed. But Mum looked delighted. "I remember those days. He was such an incredible flier. Still haven't seen anyone quite as talented."

"Amber's got my blood in her veins." Dad pointed out. "That was an incredible match."

I shrugged. "I only scored one shot."

"Sometimes one shot is all that matters." Dad replied.

"Why didn't you tell us played?" Naomi pressed. "Why did you keep it a secret from us?"

Mum slid her hand over Dad's. "He was offered a very special job at the Ministry of Magic. That, and we had a baby on the way."

"Me?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes, you." Mum said, amused. "We married three months out of Hogwarts. You were born a year later."

"Wow." I had known they were young parents, but not _that_ young. "That isn't the reason why you gave up professional Quidditch, is it, Dad?"

Dad shook his head. "No. Like your mother said, I was offered a prestigious job at the Ministry that I couldn't refuse. I made the right decision."

But I knew he wasn't sharing the true depth of his feelings. He wouldn't meet my eyes and he was silent after that. I knew he must have missed Quidditch, must be wondering about a career as a professional player. I took a sip of water and looked at Mum. "Dad says you have news?"

Mum lit up. "Yes! I've decided to come back into work. Remember that empty little building near the church?"

"Yes?" I said, not sure where she was going with this. The tiny blue building had been vacant for three years.

Mum swelled. "Well, I bought it. And I'm going to turn it into a bake shop. Bellinghall needs one desperately, and I've always wanted to have my own store."

Naomi squealed. "Mummy, that's amazing! Can I have free cookies?"

"Of course, dear." Mum assured her. She took a sip of firewhiskey that Dad had poured for her and himself and looked expectantly at me. "What do you think, Amber?"

I shrugged. "It sounds great, Mum. I'm happy for you."

Mum looked faintly disappointed with my calm reaction. "I thought you would be more excited, I suppose."

I looked squarely at Dad. "I guess I take more after him. I want to be a professional Quidditch player for England when I finish Hogwarts."

Dad choked on his water. Mum took a second sip of firewhiskey. Naomi clapped. "Oh, Amber, that would be so wonderful! Mummy, we could have free tickets to games!"

"If she makes the team." Mum replied. "You'll have to continue to work hard and sharpen your skills as a player, you know. I think you'd be better off working for the Ministry."

"Maybe," I allowed. "But if I'm going to have to live with the decision, I'm going to choose what makes me happiest."

"A smart choice." Dad said. He drank deeply, his green eyes unfocused and faraway. Maybe he was thinking about the times he had played Quidditch, the possibilities he'd given up. Mum pursed her lips and ate another bite of food. "I'm taking suggestions for names… any ideas, girls?"

I shrugged. "How about 'The Starry Night'?"

Mum pondered this. "Hmm… I like it. What about you, Naomi?"

Naomi tangled her fingers together. "Well… what about Virginia's?"

The silence that greeted her words made her green eyes flood with tears. "I mean, I just thought…" she faltered.

I put my hand over hers. "I think it's brilliant. It keeps her memory alive."

Dad took another deep drink. I watched as Mum pulled the firewhiskey bottle well out of his reach, eyeing him heavily. Dad nodded once. "That sounds great, girls."

"Then it's settled." Mum said, smiling bravely. "We'll call it 'Virginia's'."

Naomi gave a tremulous smile. I felt a swell of relief that Mum hadn't made a huge mess of the suggestion. In fact, she was handling it well. Almost _too_ well.

"I'll start the dishes." Dad said, rising from the table. He wouldn't look at me as he cleared away the dirty dishes and carried them back into the house. Mum stared after him.

"Is Daddy upset with me?" Naomi asked, sounding scared.

Mum shook her head. "He's just tired, dear. He works very hard at the Ministry, you know."

I listened to Mum and Naomi talk for the next twenty minutes, enjoying the quiet peace of the June evening and the positive turn of direction in the conversation. Dad didn't come back.

A horned owl fluttered on the edge of my chair, dropping a new letter beside my plate. It was Remus' owl, Percival, who was much larger than Soren. He perched regally and silently, not helping himself to leftovers like Soren typically did.

I reached out and stroked his back. Percival shifted slightly. He clicked his beak in warning. I looked at Naomi and Mum apologetically. "I'm sorry; I've got to take this owl and write a response. I want to keep up with Remus, after everything that's happened."

"Oooh, who's Remus?" Naomi drawled, fluttering her eyelashes. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Flushing red, I scraped back the chair, making Percival flutter his great wings in irritation. "He's just a friend."

"A friend who's a boy that you exchange owls with!" Naomi called as I retreated into the house. Percival flew to my open windowsill and waited on the ledge.

I lit several lamps in the darkness of my room. I looked out the window and saw Mum and Naomi still talking. Once, I had thought being two stories off the ground had been daunting. Now, it felt low and exposed, my bedroom hardly the private tower of the Ravenclaw dormitories.

I hastily opened the letter from Remus. He had corresponded often as promised, at least every other day, but I had yet to respond to him about his letter from last summer.

Blushing, I shook my head to clear it and read his latest correspondence.

_Dear Amber,_

_Angelina's memorial service was held yesterday. I went with my parents and several others from Hogwarts. It was a nice service. I hope that her parents find closure quickly._

_I'm writing to see if you'd like to get together this summer, hopefully soon, and discuss these Death Eaters. I've already written to Lily and she agrees with me. If possible, would you be willing to host us for the day sometime next week? If that's not an option, maybe we could meet someplace in Diagon Alley. _

_Please be careful. Both our fathers work at the Ministry and mine has already told me that this Voldemort character is no joke. He's certain that he's the one behind the attack last fall and this one, and that he's going to try to overtake our Ministry. That's his endgame, according to Dad. I don't know if I agree with him, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. Looking forward to seeing you in person._

_Your Truly,_

_Remus_

I exhaled deeply, my cheeks strangely warm. I tried to dislodge the dizzying feeling, but it clung to me like a thick fog. It was a heady intoxication, knowing that someone I liked had harbored feelings for me in return.

Leaning out the window, I called down to Mum: "Hey! D'you mind if Remus and Lily come over sometime this week?"

Mum shouted back: "Of course! But Remus isn't allowed to sleep over!"

Rolling my eyes, I yelled: "Alright! Thanks!"

I ducked back inside. I picked up my quill and hastily wrote out a response to Remus.

_Dear Remus,_

_I agree that something isn't right at all with Lord Voldemort. Dad says we aren't to call him that. It's He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named now. It's odd but I suppose that's how it's going to be in our house for awhile. Mum says it's alright for you and Lily to come by whenever. Just send an owl first. _

I paused, hands shaking. Taking a deep breath, I plowed on.

_I have something I'd like to talk to you about. Just you, not Lily. It's personal. _

_Love,_

_Amber_

Before I could lose my nerve, I sealed the letter in an envelope addressed to Remus and tied it to Percival's outstretched wing. The horned owl hooted and swooped out of the open window into the inky black darkness. Unable to stop fidgeting, I prepared for bed and read several chapters of _The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 4_ by Miranda Goshawk, part of our assigned summer homework until my eyes drifted shut.

Not long after I had fallen asleep, the recurring dream of Helena Ravenclaw returned to me. This time, it was me, not Baron Arnold Barnes, who dealt the killing blow.

When I woke up again, drenched in sweat, I couldn't understand why even though I knew the murder in the dream wasn't real, the lingering feeling of guilt remained.

* * *

Two days later, the routine commuter train arrived in Bellinghall. This time, it carried two passengers who had never stopped in town before: a teenage werewolf and a Muggle-born witch.

Lily slammed into me like a wrecking ball, nearly knocking me off of my feet. "It's so good to see you, Amber! I can't believe it's only been three weeks since term ended. How are you? Bellinghall is absolutely _beautiful_, isn't it, Remus? Are you alright? I've missed you!"

Gasping for breath, I pulled back and smiled at Lily's bright face. Her distinctive brilliant green eyes shone with delight, and I couldn't help but grin in response to her contagious mood. "I missed you too."

Remus shuffled forward, hands in his pockets. His faint pink-gray scars caught the sunlight, reminding me of Professor Smith's garish slash that took up her whole face. "How are you holding up?" He asked. "I've been writing owls to James and Sirius, but they don't know I'm here right now. I think they'd use it as ammunition."

I smiled wryly. "Good call. Hey, my mum's opening up a new bakery down the street. Want to take a look?"

"Of course!" Lily said at once, looping her arm through mine. "Lead the way."

Grinning, I obliged. Remus trotted by my other flank. He smelled incredible: like cinnamon, fresh laundry, and chocolate. I breathed in the pleasant aroma and tried to be as subtle as possible.

Lily hummed happily. "Well," she said in mid-hum, "I've subscribed to the _Daily Prophet_ to keep up with what's going on while I'm stuck in the Muggle World, but you two have parents in the Ministry. Tell me what you know."

I exchanged a look with Remus. Making eye contact with me made my stomach jolt. "My dad says we aren't allowed to speak his name. Voldemort. Er, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"Why?" Lily asked, frowning. "Dumbledore said that 'fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself'. So what's wrong with saying his name?"

"'Speak of the devil, and he appears'." Remus quoted. "I think people are worried he'll turn up if his name is mentioned. Maybe it's jinxed. Amber's certainly had her share of trouble with those Death Eaters for a few years now."

I glared at Remus. "How is that my fault?"

"Well, you did kind of go nosing around." Lily added, looking guilty as I trained my annoyed gaze on her. "I mean, if you don't want to get dirty, you shouldn't go digging in the first place."

"She's right." Remus agreed. "It's bad enough that Folsom has some kind of obsession with you. And now Mulciber. And who knows who else?"

"Lily, how is Severus?" I asked loudly, changing the subject.

Lily's happy mood dimmed considerably. "He's… he's…" She dropped her arm from mine. "I'm so worried about him. He's in with the wrong crowd, and he's a little too fascinated in the Dark Arts."

_Of course he is_, I wanted to say, but I bit back the harsh words and instead said, "I'm sorry, Lily. Do you think you'll still be friends?"

For the first time, Lily looked unsure. "I don't know." She answered honestly. "I _want _to be his friend, but there's no way I can stay close to someone who's in with the kind of crowd who goes about attacking children. I'm scared for him."

Remus cleared his throat as we walked down the cobblestoned streets of tiny Bellinghall. "This place reminds me of Hogsmeade."

Lily nodded, distracted from Severus. "It's adorable. Cokesworth isn't at all like this place. It's Bellinghall, right?"

"Yeah." I took in the library, the boutique, market, church, cafe, and train tracks that ran through the center of town. "It's a great place to grow up."

I stopped in front of a tiny wooden building. One of the shutters was hanging off the big bay window in the front, and another window was smashed through as if someone had hurled a rock at it. The blue paint on the cedar siding was chipped and fading. A few shingles had fallen to the ground in the years the building had been vacant.

"_This_ is the place?" Lily asked in disbelief.

I nodded grimly. "It's good, though. Mum needs a new project."

Remus walked up to the front door and pulled out his wand. "_Alohamora_." He said, and opened the door, which creaked and whined in response.

"Remus!" Lily protested. "We can't just go in."

He shot her an amused look. "Afraid of finding a boggart?"

Lily frowned. "No."

"Then let's go." Remus insisted. I followed after him, careful not to step on the broken glass littering the floor from the window. The small building had just one front room, the back hidden. Remus led the way into the rear, where a small kitchen lay disused and covered in thick layers of dust.

"Your mum thought this would be a good idea?" Lily said in disbelief. "Talk about your fixer-upper."

I wiped a finger along a counter, leaving a clear line through the gray dust. "I mean, it has potential. Bellinghall does need a bakery."

Remus tapped an old hanging pot, which reverberated dully. Lily shivered. "This is so creepy."

"Not as creepy as this," I said as I picked up an old edition of the _Daily Prophet_. It was dated nearly three years ago. The photos were moving sluggishly, as if time had slowed them down. But tucked in the corner of the front page was: **Voldemort Rising?** By Vincent Backe.

I scanned through the brief column, stunned. "I read this in our first year. Do you remember reading anything by this bloke? Vincent Backe?"

"No?" Lily looked apprehensive. "I mean, you read more than anyone I know… so I'm not surprised. But what's so important about Vincent Backe?"

Remus took the paper and looked for himself. "You said your mother knew him."

I nodded. "And last year at Sirius' house, Fenrir said something about making him disappear. Do you think he tried to warn the public that danger was coming?"

A tense silence followed my words. Lily bit her lip.

"I don't know, I mean, maybe, Amber. It just seems so… well, it seems to be a bit loose."

"I don't think so." I said. "I was there. I heard them. I _saw _them. The way Greyback and Folsom were looking at each other… it was like they wanted to kill the other. And they were serious about what they were talking about. And now this Backe guy is dead or missing or whatever, because he tried to get the truth in the open before Vold… You-Know-Who did something terrible. And now he's done it twice."

"I agree with Amber." Remus said. "It fits, Lily."

But Lily looked dubious. "I just think we need more proof, that's all. I mean, we're just kids. We're just fourteen. And Amber, you're still thirteen." She gave a half-smile and said, "and you don't always have to prove that you're right, Amber."

I bristled. "I'm barely two months shy of being fourteen. And I was right about loads of stuff so far. Like Folsom, and the Death Eaters in Hogwarts!"

Lily opened her mouth to argue, but Remus held up a hand for silence. "Listen."

We all froze, straining to hear any sound. But it seemed that the only noise was coming from a small mouse, skittering its way across a dusty counter and into a hole in the wall.

"Mum's really got her work cut out for her." I muttered as we left the vacant, decrepit building. The fresh air and warm sunshine felt good on my face and I breathed in the aroma of early summer. Regardless of if Lily and I were on the same page or not, we were still friends, and it meant the world that she and Remus had come to Bellinghall to spend the day with me.

"We should get a bite of lunch somewhere, or at least a drink." Remus suggested. "Does that cafe have butterbeer?"

"Maybe." I said. "Let's go find out."

The three of us ventured inside the coolness of the high-ceilinged cafe. A young witch, no older than eighteen or twenty, surveyed us as we walked in. "Just the three of you lot?"

"Yes." Remus said. "But do you have butterbeer for sale?"

The teenage witch nodded. "Yeah. Take a seat wherever you want."

I followed Remus to a table near the window. Awkward, I paused as Lily and Remus both took a seat on either side of the booth. Someone was going to be left out.

"What's wrong, Amber?" Remus asked.

I shrugged. "Just not sure where to sit."

Lily patted her side. "Sisters before misters."

Chuckling, I obliged and perched beside her. The witch brought over three bottles of chilled butterbeer, her wand sticking out of her apron. Bellinghall and Hogsmeade were the only towns in all of Great Britain that were wizard-exclusive. Both places were Unplottable so Muggles wouldn't ever find them. Had her wand been in plain view otherwise, it would have been a possible breach of the International Statue of Secrecy, not to mention bringing up a bunch of uncomfortable questions.

"So, you're alright, Remus?" Lily asked tentatively. "I mean, with Angelina and all?"

Remus had taken a long pull of his butterbeer. He set it down thoughtfully, gazing out of the large window. "Yes, I suppose. We were only dating for a little while and we had already broken up before she died." He grimaced at the word. "Even at the funeral, I couldn't believe she was… gone, you know?"

I nodded, understanding completely. I had felt that same dazed sense of disbelief when Virginia had died. It had taken long months of sadness and grief to move on and accept that she was truly gone from this world.

"It'll get easier." I told him. "It might take awhile, but it'll be alright."

Remus nodded. "I'm alright now. It's just…"

"I know." I said simply.

Lily took Remus' hand in a sibling-like way and held it for a moment. Remus straightened and looked out the window, frowning. "I have a weird feeling."

"What do you mean?" I asked uncertainly.

Remus shifted his weight in the booth. "I can feel something malevolent coming. Voldemort, or You-Know-Who, is starting something. He needs to be stopped."

Lily nodded. "But it isn't our job. We're just kids."

"There must be something we can do." I argued, forgetting my butterbeer in the rush of indignant heat that washed over me. "All of the studying and learning that we're doing at Hogwarts is so that someday we can get out and help. Right?"

Lily bit her lip. "I don't know. I mean, maybe it's different for me because I live in the Muggle World. But Amber, can't you let this go? It's not our job yet to try and take down Voldemort. I mean, You-Know-Who. Dumbledore and Professor Smith are handling Folsom. Just leave it for now."

I opened my mouth to fire off a retort, but at that moment the teenage witch returned with a plate of fries.

"We didn't order fries," Remus said.

The witch winked at him. "They're on the house."

Remus flushed. I stared at the teenage witch as she sashayed away, the anger building inside of me. I remembered Lily's warning of not waiting too long to tell Remus how I felt about him.

"Actually, Remus," I said as casually as I could, "I was-"

But Lily cut me off. She had let out a screech of shock as she accidentally tipped over her butterbeer and the contents went spilling all over the table and onto me and her.

I leapt out, swearing. The sticky cool liquid clung to me. The waitress hurried back over with napkins, but Remus drew his wand and pointed it at the table. "_Scourgify!" _

The mess vanished from the table. It was a little harder to find the right charm to clean our soiled clothes, but after Lily said, "_Tergeo!" _our clothes were dry and clean again.

"What was _that _all about?" I demanded as we sat back down, helping ourselves to the still-hot fries.

Lily shook her head, face red. "It's so stupid. Do you see that owl?"

She pointed out the window to the barred owl sitting on the windowsill. It had a letter tied to its leg, and it was staring directly at Lily without blinking. She was determinedly looking anywhere but at the handsome owl.

"Do you know who that owl is from?" I asked, catching Remus' perplexed eyes.

Lily shook her head vehemently and threw her hands into the air. "I'll tell you who it's from! James Potter! I'm telling you, Amber, I'm going to commit a felony and be sentenced to Azkaban prison if he doesn't leave me alone!"

I stared at her. "He's writing you letters?"

Lily groaned and slapped her hand on the table, making Remus jump and nearly choke on his fry. "_Yes_! All. The. Time! It's driving me nuts. I haven't responded to them anymore-"

"_Anymore?" _I asked increduously.

"-because he just isn't getting the message!" Lily cried, ignoring my question.

"What message is that?" I asked tentatively.

Lily looked stunned. "That I don't fancy him!" She roared.

Remus chuckled. "I'm not sure what to tell you, Lily. Once James gets an idea in his head, there's no dissuading him from it."

Lily moaned again and hid her red face. "I don't like him. I've told him that as well, and he just acts like he can't… oh, this is so silly. _Boys _are so silly. Except for you, Remus. You're a dear."

Remus grinned wolfishly. I laughed at poor Lily's expense.

"Give it time." Remus advised. "He'll move on eventually."

_Yeah, right._ I thought privately at Remus' words. The James Potter that we knew wasn't easily distracted from his goals. He'd already achieved his goal of joining the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, making his map, convincing me to take Polyjuice Potion, and even continuing his bullying of Severus. And I knew it would just be a matter of time before he, like Sirius, became an Animagi.

After we finished the fries, we walked down to the gurgling river fed by mountain streams. It gushed over granite boulders fantastically, refreshingly cool and crystal clear. Lily waded up to her knees in the brisk water, chattering on about the beautiful rocks underneath her feet and the fish swimming by.

"Don't you want to go in?" Remus asked as I stood ankle-deep in the chilly water.

I grimaced. "Yes and no. I'd rather not get hypothermia so early in the holiday."

Remus chuckled. "I think you'll learn to like it."

He gave a wicked grin. I realized, too late, what he was going to do. I tried to jump out of the way, but Remus caught me around my waist and threw me with surprising strength into the depths of the pool beneath the cascade of rocks.

The icy water closed over my head, and I burst forth gasping and cursing. My waterlogged clothes clung heavily to me as I kicked, spluttering. "_Remus!"_

Remus laughed and swam to my side. His green eyes glittered with unmasked amusement and excitement. "Come and get me, Harkstone!"

Jaw dropping, I stared at Remus for a moment, stunned. I had rarely seen him this unglued or wild before. And I wasn't sure if I liked it or _really _liked it.

"I hope you can swim well, _wolf." _I shouted as I swam for him.

Lily squealed as we splashed by roughly. She tried to keep her long hair dry, but it was a losing battle. Sloshing past her, I threw caution to the winds and launched myself at Remus, plowing onto his back like a monkey. To my surprised delight, he didn't shove me off, but instead swam across the length of the river pool to the cascades. We sat on the slippery surface of the granite, letting the cold mountain water wash over us. Lily was laughing, the sunlight catching in her red hair. The warm air felt good, the moment right. So when Remus turned his head to smile at me, I cast aside reluctance and leaned forward. My lips touched his before I could even stop to consider if this was a smart move or not.

For one moment of bliss, the warm weight of his lips molded to mine. I was aware of the sound of my frantic heartbeat racing to catch up to my actions, the biting cold of the rushing water against my skin contrasting to the sweet heat of Remus. And then he pulled back abruptly, his green eyes wide and wary, cheeks flushed.

As if that had broken the spell, I felt confusion replace the high that kissing Remus had given me. I stared at him, faltering. Swallowing hard, he slid down the wet rocks and splashed into the pool. He swam to Lily, leaving me shocked and wondering if I had just made a huge mistake.

Fighting the rising feelings of fear and concern (and worst of all, shame), I followed him back to Lily, who had started back toward the shore, carefully picking her way over the slippery river rocks beneath her feet. Holding my breath, I debated the possibility that she hadn't even seen what had just happened between me and Remus.

The energy in the air was suddenly crackling with tension as Remus hauled himself out of the water and met my eye. He wasn't smiling. Instead, he shifted his weight on the balls of his feet and said, "Lily, could you give us a minute, please?"

Lily nodded. "Of course!" She shot me a sly look over her shoulder as she skipped up the dirt track that ran through a small grove of trees back to the road that would lead into Bellinghall.

Now that Remus and I were alone, the tension mounted even higher, like a thunderstorm forming in unstable skies. Biting my lip, I tangled my fingers together, suddenly unsure of myself.

"Um… I read your letter from last summer." I confessed in an awkward voice. I could still feel the weight of his lips on mine and blushed. "I don't know what came over me, Remus. I just acted on pure instinct."

When he didn't respond, I pressed on, hurrying to fill the awkward silence. "I like you. More than as a friend. And I know you feel the same way." When he still didn't say anything, I felt fear creep stronger still into me. "You _do, _don't you?"

Remus looked at me with sad green eyes, and I knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth. He gave a heavy sigh and shook his head miserably.

"I can't be with you." He said at last, and I felt as if someone had pricked my balloon of happy feelings.

"Why not?" I asked in a small voice. _I will not cry. I will not cry. _I repeated over and over in my head.

Remus looked anguished. "Because I'm not safe, Amber. I couldn't bear it if you got hurt because of me."

I wondered if he was thinking about Angelina. "What happened to her wasn't your fault."

Fresh shadows flickered across his face, and I realized that I had just doused him with fresh pain. Groaning, I shut my eyes and put a hand to my face. "I'm sorry, Remus. Sometimes I speak without really thinking my words through."

He gave a half-smile. "It's alright. It's one of the great things about you. You've always been able to speak your mind, no matter what."

I summoned my courage and asked, "I think we should be together."

Heat rushed to my face, but Remus looked tormented by unseen things. He looked away. He sighed again and touched his scars, marring not just his face but also his arms and hands. "It's not you, Amber. It's because of what I am. Don't you see how dangerous I am? It's bad enough that I put you and James and Sirius and Peter in danger once a month, but if we were together, it would just make it that much more likely to happen."

I clenched my fists at my sides. _That didn't stop you from going out with Angelina. _I wanted to remind him, but I had made a decision to be more grown-up, and choose the higher road when presented with paths to take. So instead, I shook my head and fought hard to keep the waves of pain and rejection at bay.

"So." I said quietly. "Even though we both like each other, we can't be together."

"Not like that, no." Remus answered softly. He looked miserable as he said it. "I'm sorry, Amber. But it's best if we just remain friends."

"So, that's it then." I said briskly, inhaling sharply to force back the onslaught of tears. "Alright. Come on, let's go, Lily's waiting."

Remus took a step toward me. "Amber…"

But I wasn't going to listen. Feeling extremely foolish and hurt, I marched past him and hurried to catch up to Lily, who was humming happily and making a headband of daisies nearby. She looked up expectantly as I approached, her smile faltering at my expression.

"What happened?" She asked, rising from her place in the emerald green grass.

I shook my head, presenting a brave smile in spite of my bruised heart, which was now likely to never try something that brash again. "I think I should have been Sorted into Hufflepuff. Wasn't a very smart thing I just did."

Lily reached out consolingly. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head again, more forcefully. "It's fine. Come on, I think we can still squeeze in a game of Exploding Snap before supper."

Lily searched my face but dropped the subject. "Well, here you go." She said, placing the chain of daises on my head like a tiara. "It's not Rowena's diadem, but it's the closest thing I could manage."

Remus joined us a moment later. He wouldn't meet my eyes. "I just heard you two making plans for a game of Exploding Snap?"

His voice was carefully cheerful. Lily looked at Remus and then me, clearly guessing that something big had indeed transpired between us. But being the angel she was, she smiled and nodded. "That sounds wonderful. Just remember, Remus, you've got to catch the seven o'clock train… oh _no."_

A familiar barred owl was soaring toward Lily, yet another letter tied to its leg. Swearing, Lily turned on her heel and sprinted, trying to put as much distance between her and James Potter's continued attempts at friendship as possible.

Remus looked at me now. I was shocked to see my own emotions reflected back at me: longing, sorrow, love.

I repressed the urge to reach out and take his hand. Smiling at him bracingly, I said, "we'd better hurry up if she keeps going at that pace."

Remus nodded once, a quick smile flashing across his scarred face. "Dibs on the last of the chocolate I brought from Honeydukes."

I grinned, shaking my head. "Not if I win the game."

All the way back to the house, we kept up casual conversation and polite, careful fronts. I fought very hard to convince myself that we were just friends, that I hadn't really kissed Remus, but I couldn't dislodge the persistent memories. It was easy to pretend that we hadn't kissed, that we hadn't discussed being more than just friends, especially with upbeat, distracting Lily around. Confusing emotions and thoughts swirled inside of me in a turbulent vortex, plaguing me with unanswered questions for the rest of the day.

One thing I knew for sure: I was falling in love with my best friend. Whether he wanted me to or not.


	48. Growing Pains

Hours after Remus had departed from Bellinghall Station, Lily and I sat in my bedroom, hair braided, cups of half-full butterbeer beside us. It was nearing midnight, and we had spent the past few hours talking, laughing, and doing our best not to violate the Decree for Reasonable Restriction of Underage Magic. To be safe, we placed our wands on my bedtable to try and deter the temptation. This wasn't Hogwarts, after all.

"What happened between you and Remus today?" Lily asked for the tenth time that night. "Come on, Amber, you can tell me."

I rolled my eyes. "And like I've been telling _you_: it's not something I want to talk about right now."  
But Lily gave me her famous _are-you-serious _look and put her hands on her hips. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Sighing, I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed. "It's really bad."

"Well, it's not like you kissed him or anything." Lily joked. When I didn't answer her, she gasped. "Merlin's beard, _did _you?"

Mortified, I gave a tiny nod. Lily screamed.

I waved my hands frantically, silencing her. "Shhhh! My mother will freak out!"

Lily clamped her hands over her mouth, bright green eyes wide. Sure enough, Mum knocked on the door a moment later. "Hey! Quiet in there or I'll make you sleep outside!"

Lily and I giggled. "Okay, Mum. Sorry!"

She shuffled away. Lily stifled her giggles, cheeks flushed.

"She's as bad as Filch!" Lily whispered.

"Worse." I corrected grimly. "Filch only knows our names. Mum's got a sixth-sense like a Seer. She knows _everything. _Come on, turn off the lights so she thinks we're asleep."

Lily extinguished the lights and conjured up glass Mason jars. I dropped little blue flames into them that I created with my wand. Remus had taught me the spell last year, which he could do easily but had taken me over a month to master.

"You two actually kissed." Lily repeated, sounding amazed.

I rolled my eyes, heat rising to my cheeks. "It was a mistake. It wasn't romantic or anything, so don't give me that look. We're going to pretend that it never happened, alright?"

But I could tell by the twinkle in Lily's eyes that that was the last thing she was going to do. "Who made the first move?"

"Lily." I said sternly. "It _never _happened."

Lily made a face. "Oh, come _on_. I can tell you two have been dying to kiss each other for at least a year. Spill!"

But I was adamant. The hurt from Remus's firm stance on friendship without moving beyond the platonic boundaries still stung. "No, Lily. I'm sorry, but it's just something I'd rather not talk about right now. We're still friends, and it was just a mistake. Moving on. Okay? Promise me."

Lily made an annoyed noise in the back of her throat. "Fine, have it your way, I promise. But he wasn't your first kiss, was he?"

"No, that honor belongs to Nicholas Charme, when we were six and his friend Alex Perkins dared him to kiss me on the playground. And that's all I'm going to say. Okay?"

"Fine." Lily sighed, but I knew she wasn't going to let it go completely. Eventually, she would gnaw at that bone again.

"So what do you and those Gryffindor blokes get into at school?" Lily asked casually as she painted bright pink on her toenails by the dim light of the blue flames. "You've never really told me."

I peered closely into her passive face. "Why the sudden interest in what I get up to with them?"

"No reason." Lily said lightly.

"It doesn't have anything to do with James Potter, does it?" I asked bluntly.

Lily missed her big toe nail completely and smeared pink polish against her second toe. "_No."_

I smirked. She replied a little too quickly and forcefully for me to believe her. "Alright."

She trained her irritated gaze on me again. "I'm serious! I just wonder what the five of you get up to, that's all. Maybe it's the same kind of stuff Sev gets into."

_Fat chance_. I wanted to say, but instead I spared her feelings and shrugged. "Maybe."

Lily cleaned up her toes and finished applying the second coat of polish. "You won't tell me, will you?"

I rubbed my right wrist absently, remembering the flame-like burn of the Unbreakable Vow sealing itself into my flesh. _Do you promise to keep our secrets and remain loyal, even unto the threat of death_? James had asked. _I do. _I had said.

"Sorry, Lily," I said grimly, "there's somethings that I just can't share. It's nothing bad. Nothing you need to worry about, at least. We aren't running off to Folsom to get Dark Marks or anything."

"I get it." Lily said, but she sounded slightly affronted. I wanted to confide in her, but I knew that if I did, the Unbreakable Vow would charge a high price: my life.

Disturbed by the flow of my thoughts, I steered them in a more positive direction. "I think I know what I want to become when I finish Hogwarts."

Lily's face lit up. "Really? Wait, let me guess: an Auror? No, a professor at Hogwarts. Professor Harkstone? It has a nice ring to it."

I laughed. "Actually… I was thinking about becoming a professional Quidditch player. I could play for England."

Lily's mouth opened in a small 'o'. "Oh, Amber, that's _perfect! _I can't believe I didn't think of that. You play so well, even better than Potter. I think it's brilliant!"

I grinned at her. "Well, I'm glad you like it. I think I could make it, if I keep practicing and stay persistent. I wouldn't be surprised if Sean was offered a spot on some team. He said he'd really like to play for the Falmouth Falcons. He's the one who taught me how to play, after all."

"Well, he may have trained you, but I think at some point, training ends and natural talent takes over." Lily said thoughtfully. "I think I'd like to be a professor, personally. Like Professor Smith. I want to teach."

"That's great, Lily!" I said, meaning it. "I didn't know you liked to teach. You'd be excellent. What subject would you want?"

Lily grinned sheepishly. "Potions, actually. I'm really good! It's my best subject. Only Sev is better, but I think he's losing his touch, personally."

"Brilliant! So I'll be a player for the English National team and you'll be a Potions professor at Hogwarts. I'll win England the Quidditch World Cup and you'll find a cure for werewolves. Between the two of us, I think we'll have it made."

"Without boys!" Lily crowed. "They're so overrated. I'm going to help you get over Remus."

I pushed against her playfully. "And I'm going to help you get away from James."

Lily laughed again. "Sisters before misters."

We clanged together the last of our butterbeer and drained them. I was careful not to swallow the Mandrake leaf that had been in my mouth for three weeks now - in another week, I could finally remove it. It was part of the long process that would eventually allow me to become an Animagi. It had been nearly two years since James had first conceived the idea; Sirius had already achieved it. James predicted that he would need at least another year before he could master it. Peter looked even bleaker, with another two years or so to go if he really tried.

I intended to beat both of them to the punch.

"But, really," Lily said, seriously, "are you alright? You and Remus?"

I gave her a half-hearted smile. "We will be."

She nodded encouragingly. "And now, you're free to date Mr. McDreamy. You know, Sean Locke."

Laughing, I climbed into my bed and tossed an extra pillow at her. "Good _night_, Lily."

"Good night, Amber."

* * *

The summer wore on. June melted into July and August, which warmed up to a blistering heat that forced me to abandon any hope of wearing jeans and reduced Naomi and I to wearing flowy sundresses that let our hot skin breathe. It wasn't as sultry as London, since we were much higher above sea level, but the sun beat down in typical summer-fashion until we retreated to the nearby river and ponds to seek refuge. I took my first paid job as a lifeguard and spent almost every afternoon overseeing the village's pond. Day after I day, I sat perched in the high white chair, applying and reapplying sunscreen while the locals and their guests swam in the green-blue depths of the small loch. I took advantage of the long hours of watchfulness and concentrated on the complicated spell that involved becoming an Animagus, my wand clutched in my hand almost at all times.

I could feel changes in myself as I worked to complete the process. Sometimes I felt like my skin was being touched by many invisible fingers. Other times, I would black out for minutes at a time, coming back to reality and wondering at the blanks in my memory. The book Sirius had loaned me, _The Beasts Within Us,_ assured me they were normal side-effects of the transition and proof that the process was working. However, one morning when I looked into the mirror, I let out such a loud scream of terror that Dad came running in, white-faced with his wand drawn, ready to tackle a Death Eater or Lord Voldemort himself. But it wasn't Dark wizards that had me so worried: my bright brown eyes had turned completely yellow. My black pupil was still where it should have been, but the white was gone. Instead it had turned yellow. The rich tawny color was eagle-like and both abnormal and beautiful.

"We're going to St. Mungo's." Dad had said at once as he stared at my reflection, horror-struck.

I whirled around, immediately defensive. "No!" I said too quickly. If I was examined by professional medical wizards, they would know for certain what I was up to and what had caused my eyes to change. And the last thing I wanted was to be in trouble with the Ministry of Magic for trying to become an underage, unregistered Animagi. I forced myself to calm down. "I mean, no. It's fine, Dad. I'm sure it'll go away on its own. It's probably just a Vitamin C deficiency. I'll eat more fruit."

Dad looked at me suspiciously. "This isn't some kind of spell gone wrong, is it?"

I shook my head vigorously. "No, of course not. What spell would change my eyes like this, Dad?"

He didn't answer right away, but pursed his lips. "If your eyes aren't back to normal by tomorrow morning, we're going. Whether you want to or not."

"Alright." I conceded, waiting until he shut the door behind him. Then I immediately summoned Sirius's book with _Accio_ and hastily skimmed through the chapter on physical side-effects.

It turned out that a simple draught of suppressives consisting of toadspawn and ginger would solve the eye-problem. I hastily put together the potion with ingredients left over from Potions class and forced the nasty concoction down, restraining myself from vomiting with great exertion. As disgusting as the solution was, it worked. My eyes returned to normal, no longer eagle-like. But it didn't stop me from checking my reflection much more often, terrified it would happen again.

It made me wonder what I would become, once the process was complete. Some kind of bird of prey? A wolf? Or would the transfiguration reflect my Patronus and enable me to become a griffin?

Excitement replaced the fear and revulsion. As the days and weeks slipped by, I anticipated the final product of my hard work. Beating James to the punch would only sweeten the victory.

Remus and I continued to converse by owl, but less frequently, and I noticed that both of us were painfully polite and formal in our exchanges. One particular letter, written two weeks after 'The Incident', went like this:

_Dear Amber,_

_I am pleased to hear that your continued efforts in becoming a fully-fledged Animagi are flourishing. I am curious as to discover what your alternate form will be. Personally, I favor the idea that you will become either a lion or an eagle. _

_I have completed my summer homework and would like to give you fair warning that Professor McGonagall's required reading of Chapters One through Nine are particularly grueling. I would advise you not to operate heavy machinery whilst doing so._

I had had to snort at that line. That had been the end of his brief but cordial correspondence. He had signed it as he usually did: _Yours Truly, Remus J. Lupin_. I privately wished he meant it, that he was truly mine, but I had to move past the persisting denial and get on with my life. We were just friends, and that's what we were going to remain. No matter how much my heart rebelled against my mind's resolve.

As the summer wore on, more stories popped up in the _Daily Prophet. _Most of them were about lootings and disturbances caused by a group called the Death Eaters, who were also accused of a handful of more violent crimes that involved kidnapping and deliberate torture. Miraculously, no one else was killed thus far, save for Angelina Azadian, whose cause of death was never released to the public.

People were disappearing, however. And not just wizards. A few Muggles were vanishing without a trace from their homes, and the _Daily Prophet _was citing Lord Voldemort's hatred for non-magical people for the cause. Every day that passed by, he evaded capture by officials and remained elusive as ever. And every day, it seemed that more stories about Muggle/Wizard interactions were happening all across Great Britain, and there seemed to be no stopping it.

Because of this, Dad worked constantly. I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I knew he was worried. His thick golden hair was thinning and he was losing weight. Clearly, whatever efforts the Ministry were utilizing was failing. Lord Voldemort and his followers were not stopping. In fact, from what I could tell, they were getting stronger.

The summer was blazing by. Before long, my fourteenth birthday was fast approaching. During my last day as a thirteen-year-old, it was business as usual. I was lifeguarding, bored, and ready to go home and freshen up. After finishing a four-hour shift lifeguarding at the pond, I was relieved by Silva Higgs, the pretty seventeen-year-old Hufflepuff who also lived in Bellinghall. I noticed, with bitter envy, that she always seemed to have to rescue male victims every day, particularly those in our own age group, whenever she had duty. I had yet to save anyone. People seemed much more prone to leg cramps or drowning when Silva took her seat in the white chair.

I scowled as a cute teenage American wizard called for help in deep water near his able-bodied friends, and Silva obligingly charged effortlessly into the water. Turning my back to the scene unfolding behind me, I padded into town and headed for Mum's latest project, which was slowly but assuredly transforming from a pumpkin into a carriage. The derelict building had been sagging, as if a giant had once tried to use it as a couch. It had also been distinctively dirty and in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint. Now, the wood had completely been replaced, the interior gutted, the windows repaired and the yard cleaned and pruned. Currently, Naomi was busily applying a new coat of sky-blue paint to the exterior of the recently-redone cedar siding. She was still a few years away from obtaining her first wand at Ollivander's in Diagon Alley, and even if she had one, she would still be too young to use magic outside of Hogwarts. It was a rule that I, too frequently, broke.

"You missed a spot." I said as I dipped my finger in the can of blue paint and dabbed it on the tip of her nose. Naomi squealed and went cross-eyed trying to spot it.

"Hey!" She cried. "No fair! Hey, you got sunburned again."

I sighed. It was an unfortunate side-effect of being descended from strong Scottish breeding stock. "Yes, but look. I'm tanning too. See?"

Naomi looked dubious. "Yeah, you're definitely browner than you used to be. But you're red, too." She giggled. "Did anyone drown today?"

"Not for me." I sighed, thinking of Silva's record number of saves. "Is Mum inside?"

Naomi nodded and continued to paint. At her age, she was an exceptional artist, and her work rivaled that of what I'd seen from the upperclassmen at Hogwarts in the art studios. "It looks good, Ny. Not a single splash or miss."

Naomi grinned. "I'm going to be an artist."

I ruffled her brown hair, slightly mussing up her double braids. "That's my girl. Hey, hand me that twig over there. I have something to give you."

Frowning, Naomi obeyed. I took the twig in one hand and pointed my wand at it. Then she gasped as the twig slowly transformed into a pale pink rose.

"That's so beautiful, Amber! I wish _I _could do magic!" Naomi bubbled as she took the flower reverently from my hand. "I'm going to plant this and it'll grow right outside Mum's new bakery!"

Laughing and loving how easy it was to please my youngest sister, I caressed her dark brown hair once more and said, "I'll see you in a moment, alright?"

"Okay!" She squeaked, and went back to her dutiful painting. "Happy early birthday, Amber!"

My smile faded as I faced the small building. Filled with slight trepidation, I entered the small building. It was no longer filled with dust, but now bright sunlight streaming in from the clean windows. The shiplap walls were scoured and ready to be decorated with pictures or vines. I spied Mum in the back, prying off sections of wall with a crowbar.

Frowning, I approached her. "Hi, Mum."

Mum ceased working, straightening up and turning. She had flecks of sawdust in her hair, and there was a clear line of smudge across one cheek. She smiled when she saw me. "Oh, there you are, dear. You've burned again."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed heavily. "Yes, I know. I'm trying to tan, I really am. Isn't your mum supposed to be French or something?"

"Aye, but you're only a quarter French. Most of your blood is Scottish, lass."

"Remind me to thank Dad for that." I said dryly as I watched Mum set down her crowbar. In spite of my original doubts, Mum had done a fantastic job in restoring the long-vacant building. Her wand was lying on the now-clean counter inches away from me. My own wand was with me at all times, for safety and for the continuous spell that would enable me to become an Animagi. "You know you can use your wand to do the work, right? I mean, you're allowed."

"I know." Mum replied, wiping her sweaty brow with the back of her gloved hand. "But there's much more satisfaction in good manual labor. It's a labor of love."

"Right." I said skeptically. I favored the wonder of magic, especially the usefulness of Charms. I tapped my wand against my thigh, causing me to wince. Mum and Naomi were right: I had crisped again.

"Come here with that." Mum fussed. She picked up her wand and lightly touched my burning skin. "_Innovia._"

At once, the irritation faded. I sighed in relief as Mum replaced her wand on the counter and leaned against the doorway. I surveyed the damage. "So, what are you doing, anyway? Trying to make a window?"

"Breaking down the wall, actually." Mum said. She spread her hand to indicate to the back room, half-exposed by the broken wall. "I'm going to expose the kitchen completely and have a partition divide it from the dining room. It'll be a simple bakery with a few tables for people, if they want to have coffee and pastries here instead of taking it to go. It's all coming together quite nicely, really."

I smiled. "It looks great, Mum. Naomi loves it too."

Mum laughed. "Yes, well, she's always been eager to make a creative mess. We should open by the end of August in a week or so, just in time for you to return to Hogwarts."

"Hard to believe I'll be a fourth year." I said, trying to sound casual, but I felt a stirring of alarm. Already, my education at Hogwarts was halfway through.

"Aye, and you've done well." Mum said. "I know I have high expectations, but that's only because I know what you're capable of. I know you must think I can be an overbearing prat, but it's for your own good."

I folded my arms across my chest. "Remind me to thank you after I leave the nest."

Mum laughed once, but I felt a slight drop in the temperature, as if a cool wind had blown through. Neither of us had forgotten any of our clashes over the years. Mum removed her gloves and looked away into the kitchen. "Your grandparents are coming to visit tomorrow for a week. They want to be here for your birthday."

I lifted my brows in pleasant surprise. "Which ones?"

"My parents. Granny and Dey. They'll be here around noon. They're taking the train into town. I'll be picking them up with Naomi, if you wouldn't mind tidying up the house."

"Of course." I said lightly. I surveyed the small building, in the throes of restoration, and wondered what Virginia would have been like today. She would have been thirteen this coming October, on the 5th. She would have been a Hufflepuff, if she had been well enough to attend Hogwarts. "Remus and Lily are arriving by the noon train tomorrow too. Remember?"

"Right, that's good and well. I'll cook up some kale and haggis." Mum went on as she put her gloves back on.

"I'll make spinach quiche." I offered. "I don't eat meat, Mum."

Mum blinked. "You don't? Since when?"

I stared at her. "Since I was seven." Surely she must be joking.

But Mum shook her head vigorously. "Are you sure, dear?"

I studied Mum closely. "Are you feeling alright?"

Mum sighed. "I've got a headache. Probably too much work." She sighed and took a long drink from her water flask. "Why don't you run along home and start on your chores before the guests arrive?"

Uneasy, I nodded once. "Alright, Mum. I'll see you later."

Humming, she went back to tearing wooden planks off the wall. Still filled with uncertainty, I left her to her work and passed by Naomi, who waved enthusiastically at me.

I paused beside her, frowning. "Hey, Ny… did you notice anything strange about Mum?"  
"Huh?" Naomi asked, fixing her green eyes on me.

I folded my arms across my chest. "Does she seem a bit... forgetful to you?"

Naomi shrugged. "I thought she was always that way."

I glanced back at the small building. "Not always," I muttered, before heading back to the house to prepare for the arrival of the birthday guests.

* * *

The house was vacant and mercifully quiet when I arrived home. Romulus barked at me joyfully from his usual post near the horses, startling several chickens into half-hearted flight. I smiled as I entered the yellow bungalow, my mind already focused on the thought of becoming a new, separate entity. Even though I didn't need to have it at the forefront of my mind in order for the transformation to work, it did help speed up the process. All that was required was the constant focus in the back of the mind.

But the desire to outpace James and Peter made me diligent, and I set about to making minor adjustments to the house as I contemplated. I straightened up the afghan in the basket near the sofa and fluffed up throw pillows. I frowned again at the absence of Virginia's face among the family photographs and traipsed into the small kitchen. I sang softly with the radio as I rolled out and flattened a ball of flaxen dough, dusting my fingers with snowy flour. As I preheated the oven, my thoughts drifted back to the warm summer day when Lily and Remus had come to visit. They hadn't been here together since. Tomorrow would be the first time.

I beat the eggs a little too forcefully in a tin bowl when I remembered the waitress who had deliberately flirted with Remus. As I added feta cheese, tomatoes, and spinach to the egg mixture, Gylfie - Lily's barred owl - swooped inside of the kitchen through the open window and stared at me expectantly from the kitchen table. I abandoned cooking for a moment only to take the letter, but didn't bother penning a response immediately.

"Another time, Gylfie," I told the owl, "I don't have any post for you."

Gylfie gave me an offended look and took off out through the window. I always wrote back to Lily promptly. This was the first time I hadn't done so. I left the letter on the table as I poured the mixture inside of the two pastry shells and pushed them into the oven, setting the timer for an hour and a half. Now, Mum wouldn't have to worry about the cooking. Lunch would be ready-made for tomorrow.

Humming, I opened the small refrigerator (most of our electrical appliances were from Dad, due to him being Muggle-born) and withdrew a chilled gilly water and sat down at the table, ready to open the letter, when a second owl flew in. But it wasn't Percival, Gylfie, or Soren. I had never seen this particular owl before, a bark-colored screech owl, which deposited its letter from its beak and left before I could even rise from my chair.

Frowning, I picked up the second letter. The return address was a simple but elegant gold 'M'. I tore open the envelope and pulled out the slightly stiff parchment tucked inside.

_Dear Miss Harkstone,_

_This letter is to inform you that we have received intelligence that you have been performing magic outside of school on various occasions in your home. The latest instance was recorded to be the usage of the Regeneration Charm at approximately four-fifteen this afternoon._

_As you know, underage witches and wizards are not permitted to use magic outside of school. Though the Ministry has expressed leniency in the past, we have exhausted our inventory of chances on your behalf. Continued spellwork on your part may lead to suspension or expulsion from your school (Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, 1875, Paragraph C) and other disciplinary actions. Consider this your final warning._

_Enjoy your summer holiday!_

_Sincerely,_

_Mirabella Porter_

_**Improper Use of Magic Office**_

_**Ministry of Magic**_

I looked up from the letter, at a loss.

What had just happened?

I reread the letter, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I chewed on the edge of my thumbnail, the sinking feeling growing with every sentence.

So, the Ministry really _had _known of all of those times that I had been performing magic outside of school. Even in Muggle-free Bellinghall, the Decree still presided.

But why hadn't they acted before? Was it because of my age? Was this one of the consequences of becoming older? And if they could detect underage magic, such as the Regeneration Charm I'd used on the broken twig, did that mean that they could also uncover the fact that I was currently attempting to become an unregistered, underage Animagus?

Swallowing hard, I hurried up to my bedroom with the two letters and quickly shut the door behind me. I turned the lock and drew the curtains to make sure that I wasn't going to be watched. Then I opened Lily's letter and read her quick correspondence.

_Dear Amber,_

_We are taking Tuney to Bridges University in London next Saturday. She says she can't wait to leave. I'm going to miss her so much, but she won't let me get close to her. I wish I knew how to get through to her. Tell me how your mum's new bakery is coming along! You told me that she was planning to open soon - am I allowed to have free food?_

_Cheers to new chapters in life._

_Sincerely,_

_Lily_

I snatched up a quill and hurriedly scrawled out a response, wishing I hadn't sent away Gylfie so quickly.

_Dear Lily,_

_I've just received an official warning from the Ministry of Magic's office of Improper Use of Magic. Have you ever received one of these? I'm afraid to tell my parents. I wonder if Dad already knows because he works at the Ministry himself. They said I could be suspended from Hogwarts or worse. Do you know why they are cracking down on underage magic all of a sudden? _

_It's my birthday tomorrow. At least that's a good thing. We can talk more then._

_Love,_

_Amber_

There was nothing I could do but wait until my own owl returned from wherever he was right now. Swearing, I sealed the letter and threw myself moodily onto my bed, the springs squeaking loudly under my weight. I stared at the Ministry's letter lying on my desk, filled with misgivings.

Why had they never sent a letter before? Maybe they had, but it had gone straight to Mum or Dad. But then, why hadn't _they _said something? They knew it wasn't legal for me to use magic outside of school. Yet they hadn't admonished it as of late.

I flipped on my side and parted the curtains slightly, scanning the sky for any sign of Soren. Nothing. Groaning, I let the lace curtain swish back into place and grabbed for one of the several books on my bedstand. _The Song of the Phoenix _by Natalie Chaddesley was a fiction novel concerning a young witch who found herself raising a phoenix after running away from her home to Hungary. I tried to lose myself in the plot but it was impossible to shake the feeling of ill-boding that the letter had brought.

At last, Soren returned. He had a dead vole in his beak, his pitch-black eyes glittering like the night sky.

"About time." I said waspishly as I hauled myself off my bed, squeaking the mattress again. I tied the letter to his leg, which he extended so hastily that he had to flare his beautiful wings to regain his composure. It wasn't fair of me to snap at him. After all, he was my only link to Hogwarts during the holidays and my sole form of communication between my friends. But I was tired and feeling defensive and scowled at the limp brown vole in his beak.

"Don't eat that in here." I told him in a disgusted tone as he shifted his dinner in his beak, as if he had been about to try to. "Deliver that to Lily and make sure she writes back. Thanks," I added gruffly.

Soren gave a muffled hoot and glided back out of the window. The sun had set nearly an hour ago, but the faint indigo of dusk persisted against the black outline of jagged mountains. I watched him retreat against the pale skyline until I couldn't make out his outline anymore and returned to bed.

* * *

Later when I had finally fallen asleep, I dreamt that I was flying. Unaided by broomstick, I soared between the high ridges of the mountains of Hogwarts, beating strong wings to keep me aloft. The rush of cool wind over my face made me climb higher in the skies, until a huge bronze dragon dropped in front of me, blasting me with blue-red fire.

I woke up, sweating again. It was late morning, the clear blue sky rich as a robin's egg. I hoisted myself out of bed and promptly collapsed on shaky legs, knees hitting the cold hardwood floor of my bedroom. Gasping for breath, I shut my eyes and breathed in heavily, trying to calm my racing heartbeat.

There was sharp rapping at my door. "Amber?" Mum said, her voice muffled. "Are you alright? I heard a crash."

"I'm fine, Mum." I managed, trying to make my voice sound as normal as possible. Mum must have believed me, because she didn't ask again.

Shaking, I located the book _The Beasts Within Us _and quickly found what I was looking for: symptoms of becoming an Animagus. It was in the middle of the book, closer to the end, and read: **Side-Effects of the Transformation**_._

_In all cases of becoming an Animagi, the witch or wizard will undoubtedly experience several of the following markers of irrefutable changes occurring within themselves: vivid nightmares or dreams of nature (including underwater or aerial), temporary physical changes (such as hair or feather growth), feelings of weakness or dizziness (especially after awakening), loss of speech, sudden fluency of animal-tongue, and periods of memory loss. All of these will cease upon the witch or wizard completing the transformation into a fully-fledged Animagi. The symptoms are merely growing pains that are only temporary._

Sighing in resignation, I closed Sirius's book and rested it back upon my shelf full of other books, including my textbooks for the upcoming fourth year of my Hogwarts education.

_How did Sirius do it so quickly? _I wondered glumly, rising to my trembling legs a moment later. I navigated my way to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, feeling better after I freshened up. I dressed in a white-and-blue striped sundress and fastened a white belt around the waist to cinch it together. I plodded down the narrow stairs, surprised to see Mum bustling busily about, looking expectant but hassled.

"Oh, good, you're up." Mum said briskly as she flitted in and out of the living room and kitchen. "I let you sleep in since it's a special day. Happy birthday, dear." She pecked me quickly on the cheek and ducked back into the kitchen.

Bemused, I watched as a feather duster cleaned up the shelves and picture frames by itself in the sitting room. A rag and a bottle of bright blue liquid were also washing windows without any human assistance. I blinked in astonishment as furniture scooted out of the way as a vacuum cleaner sucked its way across the floor, also unaided.

"Mum," I said as I followed her into the small kitchen, "I thought you wanted me to do the cleaning so you could go shopping with Naomi at the market and pick up Granny and Dey."

"Oh, did I?" Mum asked distractedly. "Well, no matter, anyway. I have too much to do. Besides, it's your birthday. My first babe is fourteen years old!"

I watched her stuff an empty sheep's stomach with pluck with a nauseated expression. "Mum, I already made quiche for the family. Besides, Granny and Dey will be here in an hour. So will Remus and Lily. Why are you making more food?"

"We need more." Mum replied briskly as she pulled out a fresh tray of biscuits from the oven. There were over two dozen and she was feeding more into the oven.

I stared at her, feeling the first hints that I wasn't fully aware of what was going on. "How much are you cooking for us? There's only a few of us."

"That's a lot of people!" Mum said as she danced through the kitchen, stuffing the stomach until it swelled like a balloon about to burst.

"There's _eight_ of us." I reminded her. "Plus Remus and Lily. So that makes eight."

"And the family." Mum added as she finished stuffing the gigantic lump of meat and started twisting the ends shut.

I stared at her, sure I'd misheard. "Mum, you said Granny and Dey were coming. Not the whole family."

"Well, it's a special day! It's your birthday. We need to celebrate. Excuse me, dear, I need to stuff another sheep stomach. We're going need at least three haggis to feed everyone. Would you mind passing me that bowl of sheep's pluck?"

Wordlessly, I handed Mum the contents of the bowl - minced and spiced sheep organs - and hurried from the room.

_The whole family. _At least twenty hungry, loud Harkstones here, plus my two best friends, who had no idea what doom was about to befall them.

The doorbell rang. "Darling, would you answer that?" Mum yelled from the kitchen. "That'll be Charlie, Ryan, and Connor with the marquee."

Shutting my eyes, I opened the door, resigning myself to my fate.


	49. Fourteen Candles

**About a month ago I got to visit Harry Potter world in Orlando. Needless to say it was one of the most spectacular days of my life. Every Potterhead should make a pilgrimage there at some point. Things are about to get veryyyyy interesting with the Marauders!;)**

* * *

"Hey, Amber!" Charlie said amicably, grinning down at me from his considerable height of 6'5. "Fourteen now, eh? Now's when the real fun begins!"

"Don't listen to him." Ryan, his younger brother, advised. "He was a bit of wild child in his day at Hogwarts."

I took in the sight of three of my male cousins, all brothers. Charlie, the eldest, had graduated Hogwarts four years ago and was now working in the mountains, studying magical wildlife. Connor had graduated a year behind and found work with the Ministry as a member of the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad. Ryan and Connor were twins; thus, they had graduated together. Both had left Hogwarts before I'd arrived. All had been in Hufflepuff, like everyone else in the Harkstone family who had gone to Hogwarts.

"We finally got a black sheep." Charlie said loudly, ruffling my hair. I scowled at him as I tried to tame the wild locks.

"Oi, would you leave her alone?" Ryan sighed. "It's not every generation the family sees some variety in the Sorting."

"Happy birthday, Amber." Connor called, rushing forward to hug me.

Dazed, I watched as my three large cousins lumbered in the kitchen. Mum's cheerful voice carried back to me, and I knew they were grabbing food before setting up the marquee outdoors. The small house was in no shape to hold all of the members of the family. I traipsed nervously outside, hoping I had more time before other family members arrived.

I was mistaken.

The boys' parents, Uncle Jasper and Aunt Hannah, were deep in conversation with Aunt Mia, who was tugging along my cousin Jed, who looked surly, dressed completely in black and with a silver ring pierced through his nose. Almost instantly after that, Uncle Henry and Aunt Imogen Disapparated in front of the mailbox, their young daughters Opal and Ruby clutching their hands. I watched, stunned, as more family members arrived, all of them parading past, talking loudly and scaring the chickens and horses, who ran for cover in the pastures. I counted over twenty-five before retreating to the inside of the house, scampering up the stairs as the house swelled and filled with family members.

Some of them I had not seen since before I began my education at Hogwarts. Pressing my face against the glass of my bedroom window, I watched as Charlie, Ryan, and Connor raised their wands and the white marquee tent floated gracefully into the air and erected itself into the backyard. A few tables was conjured out of the air by Charlie and countless chairs popped into being by his brother's help. Voices drifted up from the stairs, the loud, raucous laughter and cheerful shouts of my Scottish family crowded in the house.

I groaned and collapsed on my bed, hiding my face. What would Remus and Lily say? Remus had a small family, with only one cousin, and no siblings. Both his grandparents were long-dead. Lily had a larger family, but all were Muggles. What would they say or think when they saw my loud, magical family cavorting all over 404 Highland Road, Bellinghall, Scotland?

It was too late to send out an owl to call off the plans to have them join my birthday party/family gathering. Hopelessly, I gazed in despair at the grandfather clock in the hallway. Ten minutes to noon. The train would arriving soon.

I didn't want them to have to walk themselves home, so taking a deep breath, I charged down the stairs, wishing that I had James' cloak of invisibility to hide from my family. The moment I came into view, cheers and applause overwhelmed me.

"The birthday girl's here!" Aunt Mia shrieked, grabbing me off the last step of the stairs and crushing my ribs in a Harkstone-hug. My eyes watered from the pain as Uncle Robert did the honors next. I was passed off like a hot potato until I reached the back door, where I was accidentally pushed out by the considerable backside of Uncle Billy.

Gasping for air, trying to gather my bearings, I hustled across the backyard and into the barn. My cousin Harry was inside, petting the nose of one of our horses, Thunder. He looked at me as I entered, smiling. He was handsome, dark blonde like Dad and our grandfather, with dark blue eyes. Harry alone of my family members shared my preference for quiet and didn't like the claustrophobia of clustering, like the other Harkstones did.

"Ah, found my hiding place." Harry said affectionately as he shook my hand. He grimaced. "Still shake hands like a prizefighter, you."

I laughed once, relieved to be away from the hustle and bustle of the family. "I need to go pick up Granny, Dey and my friends from the train station. Fancy a carriage ride?"

"Anything to get away from the brood." Harry remarked fervently. Because he was seventeen, he could use magic, and within seconds, we had Thunder strapped up to the open-air carriage. I sat in the coach seat, reigns in my hands, urging the large Belgian draft horse onward. Obedient and docile, the chestnut horse walked briskly along the rutted path and onto the lonely road that would lead into town.

It was a half-mile to the village, and everything was clustered together in a small hamlet of livelihood in Bellinghall. The ride was spent in blissful silence, broken only by the jingling of Thunder and the steady _clomp-clomp _of his massive hooves. We passed a few shops and stores and the library before the long rectangular roof of the Bellinghall train station came into view. Thunder halted just as the blue-and-silver locomotive chugged into the platform. The doors slid open and disgorged a dozen passengers, including my grandparents and my two best friends.

Filled with sudden excitement, I thrust the reins into my cousin's hands and jumped down from the coach seat, circling around the carriage and sprinting to close the distance. Lily shrieked and slammed into me with the force of a train; she hugged me even tighter than Aunt Mia. Laughing, I pulled back, my ribs aching, and came face-to-face with Remus.

We hadn't seen each other since June. He'd grown taller and his hair was longer; he looked like he hadn't brushed it since the last time we'd seen each other. Even though we'd agreed to remain friends, it didn't stop the rush of heat from coursing through my veins like firewhiskey. The heat flooded my face as I accepted a hug from him as well, careful to keep it quick and perfunctory.

"Excuse me, young lady," Dey chuckled. Grateful to escape the confusing swirl of emotions, I turned away from Remus and embraced my grandfather and my grandmother, who had lost the power of speech a few years ago after she'd suffered a stroke.

"Hi, Granny." I said warmly, pecking her cheek. She smiled, touching my face tenderly.

"So, how does it feel to be fourteen?" Lily asked excitedly as we made our way to the carriage. "Merlin's beard, this feels just like the carriages at Hogwarts, doesn't it, Remus?"

"Yeah," Remus agreed, climbing up.

"Hi," Harry said, smiling down at Lily. "I'm Harry, Harry Harkstone. I'm Amber's cousin."

Lily froze. Her green eyes widened as her cheeks filled with pink. "Pleasure to meet you." She managed as she took his proferred hand and he helped her up. She shot me an intense look that said _we-are-going-to-talk-later! _as she squeezed in beside Remus. The carriage was circular and offered double seats that faced each other in the passenger area, similar to the train compartments on the Hogwarts Express. My grandparents sat facing the back, so that I could feel Remus' eyes boring into the back of my skull as I reclaimed my seat beside Harry.

"So, what do you think of Bellinghall?" Dey asked my friends in his friendly rasping tone. "My daughter Lena chose it after visiting it during summer vacation in her final year at Hogwarts. She and Walter liked it so much they decided to move here after graduating."

"Yeah, it's beautiful." Lily agreed, but I had the feeling she was still gawking at Harry, who was completely unaware of the attention as we ambled back to the house.

I half-listened to Dey and Lily conversing behind me as I steered Thunder homeward. I was trying my best not to think about Remus and how he was mere feet behind me. I could feel the unspoken thoughts and feelings crowding the space between us, and I wondered if he was mired in the same confusing array of emotions as I was, or if he was fighting as hard to keep them at bay.

_Just friends. _I reminded myself sternly. _That's what he wants. You can't force him. You've still got your friendship. That's more than enough._

I tried to convince myself of this argument as we pulled into the driveway of 404 Highland Road. In the forty-five minutes that we had been gone, even more family members had arrived - Harkstones from Dad's side, Dunbroch's from Mum's - and populated the property like a flock of migrating starlings. The cackles and laughter mixed together in a cacophony that made Thunder stamp his hoof nervously. I guided him into the barn, waving half-heartedly at my family members, who were greeting us enthusiastically from their places on the lawn.

"Merlin's beard, Amber." Lily breathed. "How big _is _your family?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Quite big. Dad's mum is a Muggle, but the rest of his family are magical."

"I thought he was Muggle-born?" Remus inquired.

I shrugged, not wanting to look at him with my heart fluttering at the sound of his voice. "I mixed up my terms. Besides, everyone thinks Gampy is a Squib; he hardly uses magic and he isn't very good at it."

"Amber!" Lily gasped. I shrugged again and brought Thunder into the barn. Remus helped Granny down while Lily cooed at the baby chicks skittering by outside, a mother hen leading the way to safety away from my relatives. While Granny and Dey meandered their way to the crowd, Harry, Remus, and Lily remained with me as I untied Thunder and brushed his coat off.

"So, you're Harry?" Lily asked my cousin, her voice warbling slightly. I smirked, knowing she was trying (and failing) to be flirtatious.

"I am." Harry said amicably. "Walter's my father's brother."

"How come I never saw you at Hogwarts?" Lily fussed.

"I was homeschooled," Harry informed her, "most of our family was, after..."

He trailed off and cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'm from East Proctorshire. It's about thirty-five miles from here. We're a little ways over those mountains."

"I see." Lily said enthusiastically. I was grateful that Remus stayed with them as I released Thunder into the pasture with the other horses, giving me time to gather my defenses for the next time I'd have to speak with him. What would I say? Did I dare bring up the fact that I still very much fancied him? Or did I go on pretending everything was normal and alright?

"Lord, give me strength," I prayed aloud as I wandered back to the barn. I decided that our friendship was more valuable than risking its death and smiled brightly at Remus, daring to look at him directly. Even though it made butterflies swarm in my belly, I said, "did you three want to go walk around? I think they'll be serving lunch any minute."

"That sounds good." Remus agreed lightly, his hands in his pockets. Lily and Harry were deep in talk and didn't answer. They followed Remus and I as we led the way across the packed lawn. Some of my relatives were playing cornhole, butterbeers clutched in their hands. Others had set up a makeshift Quidditch pitch and were preparing to play.

Remus laughed softly as we passed. I shot him a quizzical look. "What? What's so funny?"

Remus smirked. "You."

Blushing, I frowned. "What do you mean?"

He pointed to the Quidditch pitch. Charlie was already dividing up teams. "The moment you saw the pitch, you perked up. Like a shark smelling blood in the water."

"That's a nice way of putting it." I said dryly as we entered the cool shade of the tent. A long white cloth had been draped over the table and a second table had been conjured, which held mountains of food. I spotted my own quiche, Mum's haggis, bowls of pasta and fruit salads, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, burgers, steamed vegetables, sushi…

"Your family really likes food." Remus observed.

"You have no idea." I muttered as we stood by the table, admiring the offerings.

"So," Remus said bracingly, bouncing slightly on his feet, "Happy birthday."

"Oh, thanks." I said brightly, overcompensating for the hippogriff in the room I was sure he felt too. "It feels good to be older. Fourteen, you know. Now I'm finally caught up with you and Lily."

"True," Remus agreed genially. "Where can I put your present?"

I felt heat creep afresh into my face. "Oh, Remus, you didn't have to get me anything. Just having you and Lily here is enough of a gift."

Remus laughed once. "Nice try, Amber. Oh, there it is." He set off to a third table nestled in the corner, already stacked with wrapped gifts. I stared at it in disbelief. I hadn't ever seen so many presents in one place - for _me._

Harry and Lily reappeared at my side. Lily's cheeks were flushed as she tugged me away to look at the food. Or so I thought.

"Um, hello!" She whispered fiercely in my ear. "How come you never told me your cousin was a dreamboat?"

"Because you never asked?" I shot back.

"Well, you owe me." She hissed, tossing her dark red hair over her shoulder. "Harry Harkstone… he's only seventeen. And he's single!"

I watched her, bemused. "Don't get your hopes up. Remember what we talked about earlier this summer? About not getting hung up over boys?"

"Yeah, whatever," Lily said vaguely, and I desperately hoped that I had never appeared so smitten over Remus or Sean.

I watched my large family interacting with each other outside of the tent, grateful I was relatively well-hidden behind the mountains of untouched food, when Mum spotted me. She had braided the crown of her hair into her two customary braids, which framed her heart-shaped face nicely as she hurried across the lawn. Her sky-blue robes billowed out behind her as she entered the tent, fixing me with a firm look.

"Where have you been?" She demanded, giving Lily a quick smile as she trained her stare on me.

"I had to go pick my friends and your parents." I reminded her, arching a brow. _And to get away from the craziness_, I thought privately. "Remember?"

Mum gave a loud sigh. "We're throwing this party for _you, _Amber. Please try to enjoy it."

I couldn't help it - I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Mum."

She ignored this and clapped her hands. "Alright, I think it's time for food and then we can start on your cake and presents. Oh, and this is for you."

She brought out a silver tiara. It was a cheap imitation of Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem, but it was still beautiful. I allowed her to place it upon my head, but protested when she tried to drape me in an obnoxious ribbon that read _BIRTHDAY GIRL _in blaring rhinestone letters.

"But it singles you out as the guest of honor!" Mum argued as she tried a second time to drop it over my shoulder.

"Exactly!" I snapped, ducking out of the way. "No, really, thanks though, Mum. The tiara's great, but I'm not wearing that thing."

"I will!" Lily said cheerfully. I shot her an annoyed look as she took the ribbon from Mum and tied it around her waist. Mum looked slightly mollified as she turned and shouted, "_Time to eat_!"

It was as if the Pied Piper had played his flute to the rats. Like a swarm, my family arose from their chairs or abandoned their games and charged en masse toward the marquee. Mum put me at the front of the line and organized the crowd into a haphazard line. Lily laughed into her palm.

"I told you," I muttered to her, taking a plate and choosing food from the table. She followed me after she'd taken her selections to the long table where we were supposed to sit, looking furtively around for Harry, who was near the middle of the line with Remus. Both boys were talking in subdued tones, but looked to be getting along well enough.

"Oh, Amber!" Mum called over the din of voices, "you sit at the head!"

Groaning, I shook my head. "No thanks, Mum!" I could only imagine the kind of attention I would receive from that kind of exposure and shuddered in response.

"So anti-social." Lily chuckled as we took seats near - but not at - the head of the table.

"I just prefer books to people." I responded airily. Lily rolled her eyes as we sat and awaited the arrival of others before starting to eat.

"Spoken like a true Ravenclaw." She said as she sipped gilly water. She dropped her voice down to conspiratorial tones and whispered, "so, how are you and Remus? I could practically feel the heat between you!"

I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed. "We're still just friends. That ship sailed. It's better this way."

"Alright, if you say so." Lily said in a voice that contradicted her gleeful expression. She brightened when Harry chose to sit next to her, Remus flanking me.

"Mind if I join you?" Remus asked politely as he pulled his chair out.

"Not at all." I replied, frowning. "It was never a problem for us to sit together at school. It won't be here."

"Right." Remus said, but I knew he was now testing the boundaries, making sure we were still on good enough terms to be able to cohabit personal space.

The table filled up quickly. The head of the table at the far end was occupied by Naomi, who looked delight to be in the spotlight of attention. The other end remained empty until a tiny, wiry old woman shuffled over and peered beadily at us. Her candyfloss-white hair gave her the appearance of an electrocution victim in the way it stuck up everywhere.

"Anyone sitting here?" She boomed, surprising us. Her voice carried, startling other members of the family down the table.

"No, of course not." Remus said graciously. The old woman harrumphed and glared at him. Remus looked confused.

"Well?" She said in a demanding tone. "Aren't you going to help an old woman sit down? I'm a hundred and twelve years old, young man!"

Blushing scarlet, Remus shoved back his chair and hastily pulled out the old woman's. She sniffed haughtily and pulled her plate closer to her. I noticed that she had chosen only soft foods: mashed turnips, limp steamed spinach, and applesauce. Remus poured her a glass of ice water, looking abashed.

"Remus, Lily, this is my great-grandmother, Minerva Dunbroch," I introduced casually. Lily's eyes widened.

"I heard there was a Mudblood here." Minnie barked, peering at Lily. "Is it you, Red?"

"Minnie, really!" Uncle Billy sighed from a chair nearby. "It isn't polite to say such vulgar words."

Lily had turned pink, her fists clenched. But Minnie cackled and took a mouthful of food, indifferent to the discomfort she'd caused. Remus was looking anywhere but at her, dutifully eating his juicy steak and his sweet potato.

"You!" Minnie barked at him, making Remus jump a second time. "What the hell happened to you? Did you fall in a thornbush or get attacked by a werewolf?"

"Minnie!" I said, outraged, but Remus merely waved a hand. "Childhood injury." He replied smoothly, and I wondered how many times he'd had to make an excuse for his scars.

Minnie grunted. "Careless parenting, I'll bet. When I was growing up, we were locked outside if we misbehaved. Even had a dementor skulking around our backyard once. Lucky for me I could cast a Patronus by age ten."

"Hogwash," I heard Uncle Billy mutter, but Minnie was either too old to hear him or wasn't listening.

"Fourteen, are you?" Minnie hawked, pointing her spoonful of applesauce at me, spattering Remus. He wiped it away calmly as I nodded.

"What'd you say?" Minnie snapped.

"YES." I said clearly. She looked appeased.

"First girl to be firstborn in the entire history of our family, didn't you know?" Minnie informed no one in particular. "Usually it's all boys or girls last. That's how you know you're done. At least on my side." She gave Uncle Jasper, a Harkstone, a dark look. "I have the whole genealogy of our family, traced all the way back to Nicolas Flamel, up in my attic somewhere."

Resisting the strong urge to roll my eyes, I took a sip of water and tried to act polite around Minnie to avoid being yelled at.

"Nicolas Flamel?" Remus echoed. "The alchemist?"

"That's the one!" Minnie shouted, making Uncle Billy choke on his butterbeer. "He's still alive, too. Nearly seven hundred years old. Yes, we Dunbrochs can trace our line all the way back to him and his little wife Perenelle. You there!"

Jack, one of my cousins, jumped. "Yes, ma'am?"

She snapped her fingers. "Go and get my geneology book. That'll make a nice little gift for the birthday girl!"

Jack looked nervous. "I'm not old enough to Disapparate-"

"I'll go." Charlie volunteered from beside him. He gulped down the rest of his food and vanished with a _pop _from his chair, making my little cousins Opal and Ruby scream in fright. This made my half-intoxicated family members roar with laughter.

"Ah, anyway," Minnie grunted, "where's my necklace? The one I lost?"

"What are you talking about, you old bat?" Uncle Billy sighed. "You own plenty of jewelry. Why is one missing bauble so damn-"

He let out a yelp of pain. Minnie had wrenched off her sandal and thrown it at him, where it had clipped him in the jaw.

"That hurt!" He yelled.

"Good!" Minnie shot back, livid. Remus's eyes were huge; Lily was fighting back laughter.

"Minnie was an Auror in her day," I whispered to them. "I guess you can leave the Auror office, but the Auror never leaves you."

"I can see that." Remus whispered back, and we grinned at each other.

"I think it was stolen. Or maybe Liam sold it, God rest the old fool." Minnie rambled on. She glared at the tiara on my head, the replica of Rowena's diadem. "Is that mine?"

"I bought that at the boutique, Nana," Mum called reassuringly to her grandmother, and she relaxed slightly.

"Makes sense." Minnie said peevishly. "First Ravenclaw in the history of the family, too. All Hufflepuffs or homeschooled, every stinking one of them."

"Amber's brilliant." Lily said immediately, and I felt a rush of affection for my best friend. "She belongs in Ravenclaw."

"Brains will only get you so far!" Minnie barked. "You'd better learn how to use make-up if you ever want to get married. Liam had lots of money - famous historian, real friend of Bathilda Bagshot - and we got married a week after our first date."

"Romantic." Harry offered, and Lily fought very hard to keep her laughter contained now. Minnie apparently thought he was being genuine, because she settled down for a few minutes, eating her food with the pompous air of a former aristocrat gone to seed.

"Oh, look!" Lily said, pointing. "Your mum's bringing out the cake. _Merlin's beard_!"

Indeed, Mum had baked a magnificent multi-layered tier cake that she had enchanted to float behind her. Her prodigious skill as a baker was evident. It was striped with blue and bronze, Ravenclaw's colors, and even though it was beautiful, I couldn't help wondering why she was putting so much emphasis on the fact that I was in Ravenclaw House. Was it because she was proud, or because she wanted to remind me how much different I was from the family?

Naomi abandoned her chair and came to sit by me excitedly. Few things charmed my little sister more than sugar. I counted fourteen candles atop the huge blue and bronze cake, guttering in the late summer breeze. I cringed as my entire family chorused 'Happy Birthday", including Minnie, who belted it out as if she was singing it to me from across the valley, and who also happened to be extremely tone-deaf.

"And many more!" Mum and Naomi finished. A smattering of applause broke out as I prepared to blow out the candles.

"Wait!" Naomi yelled. "Did you make a wish?"

The table of relatives chuckled. I winked at her indulgently. "Why don't you make one for me?"

Naomi shut her eyes tightly for five seconds. Then she opened them and together we blew out the candles.

There was another round of applause. Dad appeared behind Mum, waving his wand as she rested the giant cake on yet another table. The wand divvied the cake up into much smaller slices, and to my astonishment, floated over on paper plates to replace our empty settings, which had vanished into thin air.

"I love magic." I heard Lily sigh as she took a bite of the cake, which was filled with rich chocolate and airy vanilla swirls. Remus nodded in agreement, demolishing three slices in a surprisingly short amount of time.

"Ah, there you are!" Minnie cawed as Charlie finally reappeared, carrying an old leather-bound tome that was inscribed with an intricate border and embossed with a curious leaf-shaped symbol in the center. Whether or not Minnie was telling the the truth about it being a record of family history, I knew the book was extremely old.

"Sorry Minnie." Charlie said breezily as he reverently laid the large book out in front of her, careful to avoid the slice of cake. "It took me awhile to find it in your attic. You had a boggart up there in your hope chest."

"Probably Liam's ghost come back to haunt me." She cackled as she spread open the pages. Dust gathered in the air, making Remus cough. The pages were slightly water damaged and stained with age and blank.

"Is that supposed to be empty?" Lily couldn't help asking.

Minnie snorted. "So naive. Watch and learn, little girl."

Minnie drew out a short wand from the folds of her pink robes and tapped the first page. She closed her eyes and let out a gusty breath. I was surprised that dust didn't come out from her as it had done from the old book. But then, inexplicably, words and pictures spread in black and colored ink across the pages, revealing their true contents.

"Wow!" I said, impressed. "What kind of magic is that?"

"Very old, very secretive magic." Minnie said slyly. Even Uncle Billy was trying to glimpse the book, but was having a hard time due to the fact that there were several candlesticks and flower bouquets in his way.

"There is a special spell needed to reveal the contents of this book." She went on, dropping her voice low. Whether or not she meant to, it greatly added to the allure and mystery of the ancient book.

"What is it?" I asked, eyes roving over the pages, now filled with color and detail.

Minnie gave me a beady look that made me see the former Auror in her. "It's a secret. But I'll tell you later."

Remus and Lily exchanged a glance, but I didn't break my stare from Minnie's wasted face. Then she pushed the book toward me slowly, so that I could get a better look.

I had just started to make out the first page when she slammed it shut and pulled it away. I gaped at her, torn between anger and sadness that the book had been taken away so quickly.

"Just a taste for now." She said sweetly, stowing it underneath her bottom. "I'll give it to you later."

Grumbling, I pushed back my chair from the table, intending to go for a quiet, much-needed walk with Remus and Lily, but Mum flapped over, fixing me with that _are-you-serious-Amber _look I was so used to seeing.

"Where are you going?" Mum demanded, looking hassled. "We're about to open presents!"

I glanced out of the tent. The sun was notching lower in the sky. Sunset was only a few hours away. I shuffled on my feet, trying to devise a way to deliver the news to my mother as gently as possible.

"If it's alright, Mum, I'd like to spend some time with my friends. Without the family."

Mum rolled her eyes and predictably planted her hands on her hips. "Honestly, Amber, I don't know I bother going through all of the trouble I do for you. You never appreciate what I do for you!"

I fought to keep my temper in check. Indignant heat rushed to my face as I responded tartly, "I didn't _ask _for a family reunion, Mum. I said a nice quiet afternoon with a few people would have been more than enough. But you didn't listen, did you?"

Mum narrowed her eyes. "It always has to be your way, doesn't it? Always Amber's way, never anyone else's."

"Don't confuse me with yourself." I snapped, and Mum took a threatening step toward me, hand inching toward her wand.

"Hey!" Lily said, pushing between us. "I think presents would be wonderful. Then afterwards we can _all _visit or go for walks. How does that sound?"

Mum and I were glaring at each other like two hippogriffs sizing each other up. Then I remembered that the rest of the family was here, some of them probably watching, and I wrenched my gaze away.

"Fine." I conceded shortly. I marched over to the table stacked high with presents on stiff legs, still fighting to reign in my boiling anger.

"Calm down." Remus urged quietly. "Come on, breathe."

"Don't talk to me like I'm in labor!" I snapped, planting myself in a chair. Clearly, the long-held anger Mum and I had had not abated itself over the summer.

"Amber, what's going on between you and your mother?" Lily whispered as she pulled up a chair beside me.

I clenched and unclenched my hands. "I don't know."

"I think you do." Lily continued anxiously. "Maybe if you two tried talking about whatever it is-"

"Not the time or place, Lil," Remus advised as I threw her a furious look. Lily closed her mouth, relenting, but I knew she wasn't finished with the subject.

The rest of the family flocked over, making me feel even worse. I hated being the center of attention. I waved Naomi over and had her sit on the chair instead while I sat on the ground.

"Open mine first!" Naomi begged, handing me a poorly wrapped package. Obliging, I peeled back the wrappings and discovered a tiny clay statue of Hogwarts, painted with painstaking detail.

"Naomi, where did you get this?" I asked, stunned.

"I made it." She said, looking nervous. "Do you like it?"

Wordlessly, I threw my arms around her. She squeezed back, looking thrilled.

"It's perfect." I said, handing it reverently to Lily. Naomi handed me a second present, but I nodded to her. "You open it."

"But it's _your _birthday." She reminded me.

"I know," I said simply. "But I've had six more birthdays than you. You need to catch up."

Grinning and casting aside restraint, Naomi tore through the remainder of the presents with remarkable timing. In under ten minutes the hill of gifts was reduced to a mountain of torn wrapping paper and empty bags. She had unearthed several books, a Sneakoscope, three bags of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, a vegetarian cookbook filled with exotic recipes, and piles of clothes, both for school and for casual dress.

Mum was taking dutiful inventory of the gifts so we would know whom to write thank-you letters to. Lily leaned in my ear and whispered, "we'll give yours to you later."

Nodding, I watched as the family dispersed across the lawn and under the tent, refilling their plates as Minnie shuffled over as quickly as her rheumatism would allow. In spite of her sharp tongue and quick wit, the heat and longevity of the day seemed to have sapped the strength from her, and as she took Naomi's vacant seat, her eyes drifted shut and she took in several shallow breaths.

"Minnie?" Remus asked, concerned. "Are you alright? Do you need me to get you some water?"

"Get her some." I told him, while Minnie ignored him. Lily accompanied him after I gave her a meaningful look. For some reason, I felt that right now, it was crucial that I and I alone was with Minnie.

"I thought they'd never leave." Minnie grumbled, opening her eyes and fanning herself off. Her clever eyes slanted over to me, and I shocked at how intense they were. Despite the wasted skin and frail demeanor age had given her, I could see the sharp awareness of a former Auror staring at me from the paper-thin eyelids and old woman's body.

"Haven't you ever wondered why your father gave up a dream career in Quidditch to work at the Ministry of Magic?" Minnie rasped. "Or why your sister died of that strange illness?"

I stared at Minnie, feeling as if I'd just been punched in the stomach. I had managed not to think of Virginia as often as I once did. But now the memories of her came flooding back full-force, and I had to bit my lip to keep the reactive tears at bay. I nodded once, tightly.

Minnie produced the ancient maroon-leather book with the curiously intricate symbol of a leaf from her chair. She handed it to me with trembling hands, her blue veins standing out prominently on her timeworn skin. I could feel her gaze holding me captive, like a deer trapped in headlights.

"You'll find the answers you seek in here. In order to get this book to accept you as its new owner, you'll need my necklace."

I frowned at her. "The one you said you lost?"

She nodded, her hawk-like eyes piercing me. "It was made of fine gold and opals inside of a leaf-shaped mold. I lost it eighty-two years ago somewhere in Liverpool."

I jerked back, as if she'd electrocuted me. My mind was whirling very quickly. There was one necklace that fit that description precisely, one that I had loaned to Dumbledore over the summer. One that Virginia had given to me all those years ago, for Christmas.

I reeled back, dumbfounded. What were the chances that the necklace Virginia had purchased for me was our great-grandmother's long-lost pendant?

"Once you place that pendant in the center socket, you must turn it like so." She demonstrated with nothing but air. "And the incantation is not so much words, but meaning. You've got to want it to open for you. Say only this:"

She made a horrible rasping noise. I gaped at her.

"Do you recognize that language?" She said shrewdly.

It sounded like she had been having a brief but intense choking experience. I shook my head slowly.

She waved her hand. "Ah, well. You've got plenty of time to figure it out. Make that sound for me, so I know you've got it."

Blinking, I obliged. She grunted in approval. "Close enough. But remember, you must _mean _it. Understood?"

I nodded again, still feeling like I'd just been struck by lightning or missed several steps going down a flight of stairs. The old book was heavy in my small hands.

"Take good care of that book." Minnie ordered. "Do _not _lose it. And when you're ready, you will pass it down as I have done. Now go away, I'm tired."

And she leaned back and closed her eyes, apparently asleep.

Nonplussed, I rose slowly and made my way over to Remus and Lily, who were entertaining Naomi. They all looked up at me as I approached, the book clutched against my chest like a talisman.

"What's up?" Lily chirped. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

I shook my head. "I need to put this in my room. Want to come?"

"Sure." Remus said. "If that's alright with your parents."

I slid a cursory look over at Mum and Dad, who were laughing gaily with their family over by the willow tree. Just barely, I could make out the gated-off garden beyond the party, where Virginia's body lay.

_Haven't you ever wondered why your father gave up a dream career in Quidditch to work at the Ministry of Magic? Or why your sister died of that strange illness? _Minnie's voice echoed in my mind.

Shaking my head, I sighed. "It doesn't matter. Come on."

The three of them tailed after me. The house was cool and quiet compared to the noisy relatives encamped outside on the property. Remus had never been in my bedroom before and I found myself gauging his reaction after we'd entered. My room was small but bright, the windows allowing sunshine to stream through and the ceilings vaulted to give it a bigger feeling. Posters and pictures hung on the walls, one of them including himself and my other Hogwarts friends. With a start, I realized Angelina was still in the moving black-and-white photograph.

Hastily, I placed the book on my desk and covered it with a large folder holding my summer homework. Then I turned and led my friends back out. Lily rose from the bed and took Naomi's hand, chattering back and forth like monkeys.

I tried to join in their upbeat mood, but I felt as if I had just jumped out of a plane and hadn't realized until after the fact that I had forgotten my parachute. I grabbed my Silver Arrow on the way out, not for the notion of playing Quidditch, but for the sense of security and reassurance it gave me.

"You alright?" Remus asked in a low voice as we entered the kitchen.

I filled a glass of water and drank deeply. Minnie's words swirled in my mind like fallen leaves in a hurricane; I couldn't get them to slow down or focus long enough on one to gather my bearings. Minnie was a rude, brash woman - not to mention very old - but she wasn't senile. As much as I tried to convince myself that she was, I knew from the penetrative gaze she fixed people with that even though her body was aged and frail, her mind was as sharp as ever - if not sharper than before.

"I've got a lot on my mind." I told him honestly. I could feel the wall between us, built by both our hands over the past few years, and I couldn't stand it. Facing him, I said, "I want us to be able to talk."

Remus' eyes changed. Instead of shuttering, they brightened and he put a hand on my shoulder. "I'll _always _be here for you. No matter what. I mean that, Amber."

Lip trembling, I felt the strongest impulse to walk into his arms, but after what had happened in June, I knew better. So instead I hugged my arms around my chest and took a step back, putting distance between us.

"Thanks, Remus." I said. "That means a lot. I'm glad we're friends."

The kitchen was deserted. Lily and Naomi had left us to go back outdoors and evidently hadn't noticed our absence. It was the first time we were alone since our talk, and I could feel the air growing heavy with unspoken words and feelings.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "Remus, I-"

"You don't have to say anything." Remus interrupted, his voice husky. "I know."

I closed my mouth. Was this how it was going to be between us from now on until one of us moved on? I opened my mouth to speak, but just then, Lily burst inside of the house. She was still wearing the banner around her waist that read _BIRTHDAY GIRL. _I jumped a foot, startled.

"Amber! You've got to come outside right now. You've got some last-minute guests!"

From her sly expression, I had a feeling who had just shown up. Sighing in defeat, I asked, "Would they happen to be in Gryffindor and hang around with Remus?"

Lily chortled. "Actually, no. They're Hufflepuffs and one of them is quite famous. Come on!"

She ran forward and grabbed my wrist, tugging me outside. Remus followed us. The sun was falling lower in the sun, creating long, golden rays of sunlight that gave a warm, reddish hue to everything it touched, including the three newcomers who were striding across the lawn to meet us.

I stopped dead, frozen where I stood. Coming towards me was a young woman with chestnut-brown hair who I didn't know, an older woman who looked strikingly like her with a long scar across her face, and a handsome young man I hadn't expected to see for a long time.

"Happy birthday, Amber," Professor Smith said warmly, looking amused at my dumbfounded expression, "You know my nephew Sean. I'd like you to meet my daughter, Mara Smith."


	50. Rivalry

**I can't believe we're at the 50th chapter! Since this is literally halfway through the story, I'm predicting that we will end Amber's story on the 100th chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who reads, comments, and shares this story.. it means the world to me! :)**

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"Mara Smith?" I echoed. "As in, Chaser for the Montrose Magpies?"

The young woman with dark chestnut-brown hair grinned and shook my hand. I winced in pain. I had never met another person who had a stronger handshake than me.

"That's me. Nice to meet you. You must be Amber."

"I am." I said, uncertain. I stared at Mara, then at Professor Smith, who looked slightly smug. I looked last at Sean, because I knew when I did, I would feel a swoop in my belly.

"Happy Birthday, Amber." Sean said, stepping forward and enveloping me in a hug. I felt my face flame as I inhaled the smell of faint cologne, the hard ridges of muscles pressing against me. Coughing, I pulled back, managing an awkward smile.

"You look like a Chaser too." Mara said thoughtfully. "Mum said you play for Ravenclaw."

"She's Walter Harkstone's eldest." Sean said proudly.

Mara's eyes widened. "Wow! He's your father? Can I meet him later?"

"Uh… sure?" I said blankly.

"It's so good to see you." Lily said brightly. "Professor Smith, will you be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts again this year?"

Professor Smith sighed. "Sadly, no. I've been asked to return to the Ministry of Magic to aid in the effort against Lord Voldemort and his followers."

I raised a brow. "I thought his name wasn't supposed to be spoken aloud."

Professor Smith gave a tiny jerk of her shoulders. "Personally, I don't see the difference in calling him by his name or avoiding it. He's going to try to kill us either way."

"Well said, Mum," Mara said enthusiastically. Her dark green traveled across the lawn to the Quidditch pitch. "Mind if I head over there for a minute and give out some pointers?"

"No problem." I said, watching her go. Sean took a step closer, looking quite pleased. I frowned at him. "What's going on?"

"Well, I'll have you know, I've been signed on by the Falmouth Falcons as their newest Seeker." Sean said lightly.

"Sean!" I said, awed. If he could acheive my dream within a few months of graduating school, I could, too. Someday. Grinning, I hugged him again in congratulations, ignoring the fact that Remus was standing just a few feet away.

"So," Sean said, eyeing meaningfully, "I was wondering if you'd like to get away from your family for a bit. Come to the coast with me for a few hours. I can Disapparate and I'll have you home no later than ten. Head Boy's word."

I smiled even bigger. "If you ask my father first."

Sean bowed slightly. "Of course." For the first time, his gaze traveled over Remus, his gray eyes resting on his new height. Sean lifted a brow. He was only a few inches taller than Remus now.

"Lupin." Sean said coolly.

I saw Remus flex his considerable arm muscles in response. "Locke."

"Good to see you." Sean said, though he sounded frosty and formal. "I hope you remember what I told you on the last day of school?"

A muscle jerked in Remus' cheek. "We can have a little chat again, if you'd like."

Confused, I looked between the two of them, sensing a fight brewing. I quickly moved between them, splaying my hands. "No fighting, come on. This is my birthday party. Remus, go eat another slice of chocolate cake while Sean goes to talk to my father."

Remus regarded Sean with glittering green eyes. I had never seen him look so stony. "I've lost my appetite."

"I thought dogs couldn't eat chocolate anyway." Sean said delicately, and Remus took a step toward him.

"Okay, enough!" I said sharply, glaring at Sean. "Go talk to my dad. I'll see you in a minute."

With a last long look at Remus, Sean turned and marched over to where my father was sitting, a butterbeer held in his hand. I could see him laughing and talking with my mother and his family. Wrenching my gaze away, I glared up into Remus' livid face.

"Can you _not _hex him?" I demanded. "He's my friend."

"He's not _my _friend." Remus shot back.

I folded my arms across my chest, fighting to control my rising temper. "Look, I don't get you, Remus. You said you don't want to be more than friends, yet you go out and date Angelina, and now, you're getting jealous that I'm going out with Sean? I can't win with you."

Remus looked like I'd slapped him. He dragged a hand through his messy hair, swearing under his breath. I glared at him, waiting for an answer.

"It's not that simple." He said at last.

"Really?" I said sourly. "Enlighten me."

Remus shook his head. "I need to use the bathroom. I'll be back."

Frustrated, I watched him stalk into the house. Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I found myself facing Professor Smith. She looked half-amused, half-concerned. Heat rose into my face.

"Sorry," I muttered, studying the ground, "I didn't know you were there."

"I understand boy troubles, believe me," she mused. "I actually would like to have a private word with you, if that's alright."

Briefly forsaking my vexation with Remus and Sean, I followed Professor Smith to a quiet corner of the property where no other guests inhabited. With a pang, I realized we were standing under the same willow tree that curtained Virginia's grave.

The moment we had privacy, Professor Smith squared her shoulders, her smile disappearing. Her change in mood made me nervous, and I bit my lip, anticipating the worst.

"Forgive me, Amber. I know it's your birthday, but I'm afraid what I have to tell you cannot wait."

"What is it, Professor?" I asked immediately, fear gnawing in my belly. "Is it... Folsom?"

"Yes and no." She replied, cutting straight to the heart of the matter. "I was tracking him for quite awhile this summer but lost him two weeks ago, just south of Surrey. I believe Voldemort's assigned him to some kind of recruitment crusade. You've been keeping up with the news and the Daily Prophet, I presume?"

I nodded. "Of course. Professor, is he still after me?"

Her grave look answered my question. "I'm afraid so. Vincent isn't one to forgive or forget."

Mackenzie was his new name. His original name had been Vincent, before he had changed it, according to Professor Smith, who had attended Hogwarts with him in their youth. I shivered, even though it was a warm summer's day. "Why is he coming after me? I mean, I know I was an outspoken student who defied him, but does that really merit this kind of vengeance? I mean..." I swallowed, touching my throat. "Is he literally out for my blood?"

She searched my face for a moment. "Well, Amber, you are on a need-to-know basis, according to Dumbledore's wishes."

"Professor, I know he wouldn't be after me like this if it was just a case of insubordination and rudeness." I said quietly. "Please tell me the truth."

She sighed, looking out over the peaceful scene of my family, laughing gaily and enjoying themselves, unaware of our private, dire meeting. "Part of the reason I wished to speak to you today is to remind you to be careful. Dumbledore has placed a long-lasting Disillusionment Charm on you that should protect against Folsom until you are of age. Additionally, last spring, he became your Secret-Keeper with the Fidelius Charm, so that he cannot find you unless told by Dumbledore himself the secret of your whereabouts. And remember that only Folsom cannot find you. Others acting under his orders still can. Folsom is in close works with Voldemort, and for whatever reason, Lord Voldemort has decided that you are some kind of threat to him. Which, Dumbledore and I think, is why Folsom is so fixated on you. He wants to eliminate you as a threat to Voldemort's ultimate plan."

I swallowed this new information. After a long pause, I said tentatively, "but why does he think I'm a threat? And what's his ultimate plan?"

Professor Smith withdrew a beautiful but simple pendant from her black robes. It was my opal necklace. She handed it back to me. "I suppose it has something to do with this. And you already know that I can't tell you what that is."

I stared at her. "This necklace was a present from my sister. She gave it to me a few years ago; it's not cursed or anything. Why would Voldemort want this?"

She held up a hand for silence. "What I am about to tell you is classified and to be confidential. Do you understand?"

I sensed the gravity of the situation and nodded. "You have my word."

Professor Smith searched my face briefly, and then said quietly, "This necklace was found to be made of not opals, but harkenine shards. Do you know what that means?"

I shook my head. Despite my voracious appetite for reading and knowing as much as I could, I was at a loss. I had never heard of 'harkenine' shards before. "No."

She moved behind me and fixed the clasp of the necklace around my neck, in a very maternal fashion. "Many years ago, an alchemist named Nicolas Flamel fashioned a legendary stone. Fragments of that stone were made into this necklace, according to Dumbledore. Do you know of what I speak?"

I did, but my mouth suddenly went dry. I touched the necklace in disbelief. "But that means… this is made of the Sorcerer's Stone?"

Smith made a noise of assent. "Perhaps. The Sorcerer's Stone is also known as _harkenine_, one of the precious gems. Like emeralds, sapphires, rubies. However, Dumbledore believes this necklace of yours is a mere replica. Very well-crafted, but not the real thing, most likely goblin-made. The necklace made of harkenine stones may be what Voldemort seeks. He pursues the real one, of course, but if Folsom has informed him that you have it (regardless of whether or not it's a copy), you may be in greater danger than we originally feared."

"But why-" I began to ask, but again, she rose a hand for silence. I gritted my teeth together, frustrated at my own lack of understanding.

"I do not know why Voldemort seeks this. Neither does Dumbledore." She said quietly. "I do not know why he stole Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem, or Slytherin's locket, or Hufflepuff's Cup. Dumbledore and I believe - with strong evidence - that Voldemort seeks to collect fabulous items shrouded in mystery and folklore. We do not know why. Folsom may try to steal this necklace from you. I therefore must warn you to not hold onto this heirloom, if Folsom somehow finds you before I can. I know how much your sister meant to you, and how much this necklace must mean too. But it is not worth your life."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked at last, feeling like an overflowing cup.

"Because Voldemort is on the rise to power." She said simply. "And you are a target of Folsom, if not Voldemort too, and you must be forewarned of the coming danger."

Nodding blankly, I tried to digest this onslaught of new information. Just because of a childish grudge, I could be dead.

But, hadn't I been the one to try to warn others about the rise of Death Eaters in Hogwarts in the first place? Hadn't I been the one who had resulted in Folsom getting sacked? And now, apparently because I owned something Voldemort wanted, that added yet another reason why he'd want to come after me.

I shook my head. "It's just a necklace, Professor. If it's that much trouble, then take it. I don't want it."

Professor Smith shook her head. "I did not mean to alarm you, Amber. But Dumbledore insists that the necklace remains with you, for the meantime. With the lengthy precautions put into place, you should have no cause to worry."

But it didn't discount what had happened at Hogwarts just a few months prior. Lip curling, I nodded and replaced my hands at my sides. "So you're _sure _it's safe? It's not a danger at all?"

Professor Smith gave a wry smile, and suddenly I knew that she somehow knew about me becoming an Animagi, knew that I frequently broke the rules and snuck around with the other Marauders at Hogwarts, knew that Remus and I had followed her into Knockturn Alley the September prior. Perhaps her skills in Legilimency had given her the insight, or maybe she and I were more alike than I had thought.

"Well, as safe as you can be, with Dumbledore and I looking after you. It makes a little difficult when our ward insists on breaking Underage magical law at every chance she gets."

Grinning sheepishly, I ducked my head slightly. "Is that why I received an official warning from the Ministry? Because I don't get any more chances?"

Professor Smith tucked a lock of hair behind my ear in a motherly fashion. "You've got to grow up sometime."

We left the shelter of the willow tree. Even though my mind was still swirling with the thoughts of the book that Minnie had given me, it felt even more full with the compounded knowledge of the necklace that Dumbledore had been so interested in. I touched the stones in the necklace, feeling as if a missing part of my body had been reattached. I felt strangely at peace, joyful, at the reunion of Virginia's necklace and I, the same sense of relief I had felt when my wand had reawoken after nearly a year of hibernation.

I could see Lily and Harry sitting near my family, Naomi perched on Lily's lap and enjoying being lavished with sisterly affection. Before we were within earshot of them, I asked Professor Smith, "so… what were you doing last year, in Knockturn Alley? You went into Borgin and Burkes."

A smile flickered on her lips. "You have the makings of a real Auror, you know. Unafraid to investigate anything that seems out of place."

I laughed nervously, slightly abashed. "I didn't mean to spy."

She waved a hand dismissively. "I'm glad you did. But I'm also glad you went with Remus Lupin and not by yourself." A shadow flickered across her scarred face. "Knockturn Alley isn't the sort of place you'd want to be alone."

I opened my mouth to ask her another question, but she answered, "if you must know, I was buying a rare Dark object for my partner at the Auror Office, Alastor Moody. It was a Life Clock. It's a curious little object that shows the owner the number of days left in anyone's life span, but it does not tell them theirs. And, it has a strange little charm on it that makes it impossible for others to speak of what they know from the Clock."

"Wow." I said, stunned. I wasn't sure if I would want to have that kind of power, knowing precisely how many days left a person had left to live.

"He's been searching for one for nearly fifteen years." Professor Smith added. "I was lucky to have found one. Ah, here comes my nephew."

Sure enough, Sean was sauntering back over, looking delighted to see me. I blushed.

"Ready to go?" He said brightly. "Oh, that necklace is beautiful."

I turned redder. "Thank you. I've had it since I was eleven."

Sean nodded appreciatively. "It's very lovely. You all set, Aunt Willow?"

Professor Smith nodded to her nephew. "I am. Mara and I'll be off in a moment. She has something for Amber."

I covered my face with my hands. "Oh, really, Professor, it's not necessary-"

But Mara had returned. She grinned at me as she produced a fan of white paper slips, which I realized were tickets.

"Here you are." She said cheerfully. "Free tickets for you and five others to come see a game anytime. Best seats in the house!"

I gaped at her. "Mara… I can't… there's no way I can accept these…"

"Told you she'd take it well." Sean rumbled, looking amused. I reached out and held the tickets lightly, like they would turn into butterflies and take flight any second.

"Well, we'll be off." Mara said, looking disappointed that she hadn't been able to play Quidditch. "Feel free to stop by for practice too, Amber. I heard you want to be a Quidditch player too, and I'm always game to give lessons to Sean's girlfriends."

"Oh, thank you Mara..._what?" _I half-shrieked.

Sean cleared his throat. "Thank you, Mara, I'll see you later. Bye, Aunt Willow."

Mara winked at me and walked to the edge of the lawn with her mother. Mara was slightly taller than her mother, and her darker hair rippled in the late afternoon sun. They Disapparated with two sharp cracks near the mailbox.

"Always lovely to see them." Sean said briskly. "Come on, your father's cool with us going out."

"To the beach, you mean?" I managed, feeling as if my face was now a furnace.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Sean said lightly. He frowned. "Are we going alone?"

My mind was spinning like a tornado. "I… guess?"

But just then Lily spotted us. She waved us over. We had no choice but to come over.

"Hey! Amber, are you alright? Your face is really red."

"Thanks, Lily." I said dryly, pressing my cold hands to my cheeks, trying to cool them. "We're going to the coast for awhile." Suddenly terrified of being alone with a boy that I liked, I rushed on and said, "want to come?"

Sean frowned but Lily nodded enthusiastically. "I mean, if that's okay."

"Of course." Sean said, a true gentleman.

"I'll come." Harry offered. "Someone needs to escort this lovely young lady."

Now it was Lily's turn to blush. Just then, Remus came stalking over, looking bad-tempered and upset. I shot a glance at the sky, wondering if it was the full moon tonight.

"Going somewhere?" Remus asked in a carefully measured voice.

"I'm taking Amber to the coast." Sean said coolly. "We'll be out for awhile, so don't bother waiting up."

Remus balled his hands into fists at his sides. "I'd feel better going with her. After all, I'm supposed to keep her safe, remember?"

Sean's eyes flashed. Lily was watching them with her mouth open. Harry looked amused.

"We'll need to scrounge up someone to go with you, then." Sean said, and his voice was colder than I'd ever heard it. "Amber, do you have any cousins who would want to come? We'd need someone of age so that Remus can do Side-Along Disapparition."

The way he said it implied that Remus was an unwanted, intruding inconvenience, and I wasn't surprised when Remus's nose twitched in an-almost snarl.

"We could stay local." Remus suggested. "Go get ice cream or something in town."

"The coast sounds much more fun." Sean threw in.

"It's Amber's birthday." Lily pointed out. "Why not let her decide?"

I wished she hadn't said that, because Sean and Remus fixed their stares on me, making me feel like a bug about to be lasered to death. Squaring my shoulders, I decided to choose the option that would appease the most people. It would be nice to have Remus join us at the coast. I waved over Charlie, who had been on his way to refill his pumpkin juice cup.

"Hey, birthday girl, what's up?" Charlie hesitated as he came closer to Sean and Remus, who looked ready to duel at that moment. "Is there a problem, guys?"

"No." Sean said at the same time that Remus said, "yes."

A tense, awkward silence followed this. Lily broke the tension by saying loudly, "So! Charlie, why don't you Disapparate with Remus so we can all go to the beach?"

Charlie blinked, surprised. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, let's just go." I said fervently. Harry looped his arm through Lily's as Remus placed his hand on Charlie's forearm. To my huge embarrassment and delight, Sean took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. The last thing I saw was Remus's shocked and hurt face and then I felt as if I had been sucked into a pitch-black, tight tube. My eardrums pressed inwards, my eyeballs were going to pop out, my bones would surely crack and splinter as I was crushed to death…

And then we were breathing in the heavy tang of salt in the air. The tall, jagged skyline of mountains were gone, replaced by the flat, endless blue of the ocean stretching in front of us. I gasped, bending over, hands on my knees, trying to get my bearings back.

"Not a frequent flier, huh?" Sean said grimly. "It's not something you'll forget. It takes some getting used to."

"I… can see… that." I panted, trying very hard not to vomit. Flying on brooms was much more pleasant.

A second later, Harry and Lily joined us, followed by Remus and Charlie. I noticed with a twist of guilt that Remus was looking anywhere but at me and Sean.

"Right," Sean said merrily, "shall we split up? Or stay together?"

"Let's just get going." I muttered, not wanting to look at Remus any longer because of the pain it caused me. I knew that he was feeling exactly the way I had felt when he and Angelina had gone public with their relationship, but I was surprised to find that in spite of my anger then, I did not want Remus to feel the same aching hurt I had now.

The beach that Sean had taken us to was foreign to me. It reminded me of the Hufflepuff Games in the way that it was set up like a carnival, except on the seaside. Several Muggles were playing Frisbee and volleyball on the sand, while others played games or rode on the many rides in the park.

"This is Wolf's Neck Beach," Sean told me as we walked toward the bright tents and twinkle lights, "I used to come here a lot as a kid, but haven't had time to come in awhile. None of my mates think it's cool enough to come anymore."

I realized then that he was gauging my reaction. Smirking and deciding not to spare his feelings, I said, "So, you're secretly a huge nerd. Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Sean laughed. "I am. My friends think arcades and carnivals are childish, but some of the best times of my life were spent right here."

I smiled at him in spite of how he had treated Remus. "Thank you for sharing your favorite place with me."

Sean smiled back. His hand twitched toward mine, but I quickly tangled my hands together, not wanting Remus to see.

Sean cleared his throat, leading me to a booth that sold fluffy pink webs. With a start, I realized people were eating it.

"What _is _this?" I said in amazement as Sean purchased a tall beehive-shaped mass of the bubblegum pink stuff.

"This is cotton candy," Sean told me, tearing off a bit and eating it. "It's Muggle food."

Amazed, I copied him and popped a piece into my mouth. To my great shock, it vanished the moment it touched my tongue.

"It's _Muggle _food?" I said, stunned. "But it's just Vanished!"

"Not Vanished." Sean told me. "Just dissolved. It's spun sugar."

"It's amazing!" I said, tearing off several more hunks. Sean soon introduced me to corn dogs, deep-fried Oreos, and bright ice called snow cones. He treated me to several games, winning me a small stuffed dog at a balloon-dart game.

"Thanks, Sean," I said, enjoying the rush of sugar and deep-fried carnival food. "But mind if I have a shot?"

"Sure thing." Sean said, handing over Muggle money to the attendant. Sean took the stuffed dog as I was handed five darts.

"What do I win if I get all five balloons?" I asked the attendant, who was busily smoking two cigarettes.

"Everyone's a winner." He grunted, his thick Coke-bottle glasses grimy from the cigarette smoke.

"I know," I said, trying to be patient, "but if I win every round?"

He barked a laugh. "I'd like to see that, missy. Win every round… ha!"

Frowning slightly, I narrowed my eyes and took a breath, trying not to choke on the noxious fumes of the cigarette smoke. With skills I'd learned from Sean and polished as a Chaser, I threw each dart with rapid and quick procession.

_Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! _Five balloons exploded upon impact. Their bright remains fluttered to the ground. I grinned at the attendant, whose cigarette had fallen out of his open mouth.

"So," I asked gleefully, "what do I get?"

Five minutes later, I was walking with a gigantic stuffed brown teddy bear under one arm toward the Ferris wheel. Sean had tried to hold my hand again, but once again I had busied myself, needing both appendages. Sean looked amused and slightly annoyed as I kept both of my hands locked around the neck of the giant bear, the same size of my younger sister.

"Fancy a Ferris wheel ride?" Sean asked, gesturing to the tall red-and-white wheel, rising high into the sky. It was fully dark out now, the stars shrouded by light pollution from the carnival.

I chewed my lip. I remembered the Hufflepuff Games, when Remus had wanted to ride with me. _It's our thing. _I thought sadly, about to turn Sean down, when I remembered Angelina kissing him full on the mouth right in front of me. My grip tightened on the bear's fluffy throat.

"Sure." I said, forcing a smile. Sean handed two tickets to the attendant, a tired-looking twenty-something girl, who allowed us into a seat. It was big enough for four people, in the shape of horse carriages, with eye-popping colors on the roofs. Sean sat beside me as we settled in the Ferris wheel compartment. Just before the attendant could start the ride, however, Harry, Lily, and Remus came walking over right up to the wheel, since there was no line.

"Hi, guys!" Lily said breathlessly, _still _wearing the BIRTHDAY GIRL banner around her waist. "We got so much free stuff because everyone thought it was my birthday. Harry, want to ride with me?"

Harry looked only too happy to climb into another compartment with her. Remus looked oddly small without anyone beside him.

"Must have at least two to a compartment," the attendant sighed. "Sorry."

Remus shook his head. "Come on, can't I ride with them?" He pointed to Lily and Harry.

The attendant shook her head. "Sorry, every seat's full on the wheel. Too much weight. Stand back please, sir."

But Remus looked indignant. Pursing his lips, he backed up a few steps, shoving his hands into his pockets. His eyes traveled up to the Ferris wheel until they reached out compartment. Sean shifted closer to me. I gave a tiny wave, trying to smile in spite of my odd mixture of sadness and excitement.

The attendant cranked a knob, and the Ferris Wheel groaned to life. Slowly, our compartment rose higher and higher into the air, so that the spread of Wolf's Neck Beach and the surrounding landscape and ocean was laid before us. Sean slipped his hand into mine now, and I looked at him, pleading.

"I meant to give you something for your birthday," he said quietly, and I could feel my heart race in response, "but not until we were alone."

My mouth parted as I guessed what he was saying. Confused, I stared at him as thoughts of both himself and Remus flashed across my mind. How was it possible for me to feel so strongly about both boys?

Mired in confusion and guilt, I swallowed hard, my throat dry. "I thought you said I was too young. That you were too old."

Sean laughed softly. "I guess I don't care anymore." He started to lean forward, close enough so that I could smell his aftershave and see the thin blue veins in his eyelids, when Lily let out a blood-curdling scream from below.

Instantly thinking that Folsom was flying towards me on the night air, I whipped out my ash wand, heart pounding with adrenaline that preceded battle, but there was nothing in the skies. Then Sean shouted a swear and pointed below us. I followed his index finger and nearly fainted.

Scaling the rungs of the moving Ferris wheel was Remus.

"What are you _doing_?" Lily cried as Remus clambered higher and higher. "Remus, get down, you idiot!"

To my horror, Remus wasn't slowing down or going back to Earth. Rather, he was making a beeline for our compartment.

"Hey!" The attendant screamed, terrified. To my horror, I realized she had pulled the crank at the highest point of the Wheel. We were nearly seventy feet off the ground, and Remus was still climbing, like a spider moving across its web. Several Muggles were pointing and yelling down below on the ground; I hadn't realized I had clapped my hands over my mouth until Remus hauled himself in and I slapped him hard in the chest.

"What was _that _for?!" I raged, anger obliterating my initial fear. "You could have fallen and _died_, you complete _moron!" _I swore loudly, shaking.

Remus had taken the seat across from us, his green eyes electrically iridescent. I realized the moon was indeed nearly full, enhancing him with more wolf-like qualities. That was probably how he had been able to ascend the rungs of the Ferris wheel so deftly.

"I'm just riding the Ferris wheel with you." Remus said calmly, though sweat dripped from his brow. "I owed you a ride, remember?"

I gaped at him, dumbfounded. Sean looked livid.

"Lupin, for God's sake! What if I'd had to use magic to save your sorry arse? We could have exposed our world to the Muggles! We could have-"

But I shouted over Sean. "Remus, if you ever do something that _stupid _again… our… our friendship is _over!"_

Remus, to my disbelief and renewed anger, merely smiled. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Amber. Nice try, though."

"Nice _try?" _I shrieked, trying to stand up and hitting my head against the hard roof, making me wince with pain. "Are you _serious_, Remus?! Don't ever… I can't… you...!" I was so angry that words failed me.

Sean took over, shouting at him, but for all the good it did, Remus merely smiled. He looked strangely victorious as the Ferris Wheel reached the bottom of the arc and the attendant demanded he leave immediately.

"I'd rather stay with Amber, if that's alright," Remus said calmly.

"No, it is _not _alright!" I screamed. "Fine, _I'm _leaving!" I grabbed the teddy bear in a chokehold and stormed out, nearly tripping over the step in my haste. Remus and Sean followed me, but I ignored them, not stopping until I reached the seashore.

"Amber, I didn't mean to scare you." Remus said, sounding apologetic. "But-"

"Shove off, Lupin." Sean said harshly. "Don't make me get the newspaper out."

Before Remus could fire off a retort, I whirled around and dropped the teddy bear. I shoved Sean and then Remus in the chest, forcing them to take a step back. I had never felt so angry in my life.

"Leave. Me. Alone!" I snarled. "I am _not _a prize. I am _not _playing this stupid game! _You _told me our age difference was too much!" I shouted at Sean, who looked utterly astonished. "And _you _said you weren't safe." I yelled at Remus, who looked unhappily guilty. My chest was heaving; I fought hard to control the wildlife of emotions blazing through me.

"Amber," Sean started to say, but I rounded on him, drawing my wand, red sparks issuing from the tip.

"I'm talking!" I snapped. "Both of you need to stop this. I don't choose either of you. I choose _myself. _I like both of you, but I'm not going to turn this into some kind of sick game. I'm friends with both of you. _Just _friends. Understood?"

Remus opened his mouth to argue, but I jabbed my wand at him threateningly, and he quickly closed it. Sean gave a single curt nod. I glared at both of them, and then said, "now shake on it."

Both boys looked outraged. Before they could speak, I folded my arms across my chest, firm.

"Either you shake hands, or my friendship with both of you is finished."

Remus and Sean looked mutinous. But then, at last, Sean took a huge breath and extended his hand. Remus glared at it like it was something he'd found stuck to the bottom of his shoe. But at my furious look, he conceded and shook his hand. It looked like both boys were trying to crush the other's bones into powder before they broke apart.

"Good." I said coldly. "Now, I'm going to finish the rest of my night with Lily and Harry. I'm not sure where Charlie went, but I want both of you to leave. _No _arguing." I said sharply as they both opened their mouths.

"But I haven't given you your present." Sean said sadly.

"Me either." Remus added gruffly.

I threw my hands up in the air, exasperated. "I didn't ask for anything. I just wanted a quiet day with my friends. Not some ridiculous male fight-to-the-death-for-the-girl crap." I picked up the giant teddy bear that I had dropped and stormed away, kicking up sand in my wake. "Good _night_."

I left them standing on the beach, no longer caring enough to babysit them. Lily and Harry came rushing forth to meet me, looking alarmed.

"Is Remus completely mental?" Lily demanded, looking shaken. Harry shook his head.

"Personally, Lily, I don't really care." I looked over at a large swing carousel, bright and spinning innocently in the dark. "Let's have a go on that ride over there."

"You _sure _you're alright?" Lily asked nervously.

I shut my eyes, summoning the last vestiges of my patience and control. "Promise me one thing."

"Anything." Lily said immediately.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Don't _ever _let me crush on a boy again."

Lily giggled into her palm. At my furious look, she immediately took on the expression of one at the bedside of their very sick friend. Harry adopted the same somber look.

"Look on the bright side," Lily hedged as we made our way to the swing carousel, "you'll probably marry one of them. You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."

"Lily." I said darkly.

"Which frog would you choose?" She pressed, and let out a shriek of delighted fear as I drew my wand and chased her and Harry the rest of the way.


	51. An Unexpected Truce

The last few days of summer holiday came and went as quickly as leaves blowing by in an autumn wind. Remus and Sean respected my demand for distance and didn't write me, which suited me just fine. I was still angry with the both of them for spoiling part of my birthday with their rivalry, and I felt a curious mixture of sadness and relief that I would not have to deal with their hostility for one another during my fourth year at Hogwarts. Sean would be playing for the Falmouth Falcons since he had completed his education. Remus and the other Marauders would remain with me for the next three years as we finished our own coursework.

I spent the evening after supper packing up my room. It was strange how my possessions seemed to have wound up in the furthest reaches. Eagle-feather quills were scattered underneath my bed, spare rolls of parchment hid underneath piles of textbooks. We would be stopping in Diagon Alley in the morning to purchase a last-minute dress robe for formal occasions.

I muttered in frustration as I hand-packed my school trunk, annoyed that I was only fourteen years old. In the Wizarding World, we weren't of age until seventeen, which was still three whole years away. And after my last official warning from the Ministry of Magic's Improper Use of Magic office, I knew it would be a very bad idea to try to use magic again outside of school. Even if it was for something as simple as packing my trunk for school.

Dust made my eyes water and sneeze as I retrieved piles of clothes from the hardwood floor and dropped them unceremoniously on my bed. I would fold them later. I continued this monotonous chore until at last, my room was clean and my trunk lay closed, ready to be taken down to King's Cross Station in the morning.

One thing remained that I hadn't decided what to do with. Minnie's gift, an ancient-looking old book that smelled like sour apples and leather, lay on my nightstand. I hadn't opened it since Minnie had shown me how at my birthday dinner, ten days prior.

I was tempted to take it school with me. Fourth year students were required to take Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, and Herbology. In addition, we also had to take two extracurriculars. I had immediately signed up for Care of Magical Creatures during the summer when Professor Flitwick had sent out letters in July asking for preferences, but wasn't sure what else to take. Divination had been odd and unfocused in my third year; I had endured a throbbing headache after each class in Professor McKennitt's stuffy classroom filled with incense smoke and heavy perfume. I had written down Study of Ancient Runes as my second choice simply because I had no real interest in Muggle Studies or Arithmancy.

Now, I had the opportunity of using that second extracurricular to understand the strange book Minnie had bequeathed to me.

But each time I thought about bringing the book along with me to school, I felt a twinge of warning. What if I lost the book? Minnie would never forgive me as long as she lived (however long that would be). Additionally, what if the book was somehow stolen or destroyed? I grappled with these turbulent thoughts before deciding to risk it and stacking the book on top of my clothes already inside of my trunk.

At last, it was time for bed. Even though my mind was whirring with endless thoughts about school and my friends, my bod was tired. After I had brushed my teeth and slipped into my pajamas, I was asleep almost as soon as my head touched my pillow.

It was hard to tell how long I had been drifting through subconsciousness when it happened. I became aware of the heavy scent of dark soil and sunless places as it filled my nostrils. I wended my way through tangles of undergrowth, hardly able to see. Brambles and thorns snagged on the hem of my robes. I was wearing my Hogwarts uniform. I tried to peer through the darkness of the trees, but the thick canopy of pines blocked out any ray of sunshine trying to slice through.

It was cold. Shivering, I rubbed my arms together and tripped over a fallen log. My hands were black from the soil of the ground as I rose to my feet again. Before I could wipe them off, I heard a distinct snapping noise behind me. I froze, my heart skipping a beat.

_Someone's here. _I thought, as I reached for my wand. It was tucked in my belt, just as it should be. I pressed my back to the rough bark of a looming pine tree, listening hard. For a moment, it was silent. And then came the unmistakeable sound of something big crashing through the undergrowth.

Coming for me.

Abandoning my refuge, I pelted through the darkness, barely able to see, my heart in my throat. I could hear the deafening crashing behind me, but I didn't dare look back until I had found shelter. I threw myself down into a hollowed-out cavern underneath a particularly large pine tree and held my breath, shaking.

My pursuer slowed and halted at the edge of the small ravine. From the darkness of my hiding place, I could see it for what it truly was: not some crazed maniac, nor Lord Voldemort or Folsom… but a wolf.

But it wasn't an ordinary wolf. This beast was much larger than a regular wolf, the size of a horse, with a tufted tail and a short snout. Its thick gray fur was bristly and its eyes were pale, electric green. It let out a low, hungry growl and sniffed at the air carried aloft by the ravine. I recognized it for what it was: a werewolf. Terrified, I held my breath.

The wolf's eerily human eyes slowly swiveled around the clearing, and then stopped. The wolf was staring right at me, pinning me to where I crouched, terrified.

Before the wolf could lunge forward, it changed suddenly. It was now a tall, pale man with dark brown hair and an emaciated-looking body. A woman with long white-blond hair walked toward him from the black depths of the forest, her expression unreadable. She came to stop before him. Their faces bent together; their lips met. Just as suddenly, she dropped to his feet, covered in red. A second later, her form morphed into Angelina Azadian. She was just as still and cold as how I'd found her in the forest during the attack on Hogwarts a few months ago. I let out a scream, paralyzed by what I was seeing.

"Amber," a voice whispered beside me. I turned and felt all the breath in my body leave me. Virginia was perched beside me in the earthen cave, her sky-blue eyes boring into mine.

"_Amber_!"

My eyes snapped open. At first, I didn't know where I was. I could still smell the tang of pine resin, feel the rough needles digging into my flesh as I crouched underneath the tree. But then I realized I was in my warm bed, not the forest, the sheets tangled around my legs. I groaned softly, holding my head in my hands. A moment later, the door swung opened. Mum frowned down at me, her hands in her apron.

"Amber, it's nearly nine! Come on, if you don't hurry you'll miss the Hogwarts Express. We're going to Diagon Alley before King's Cross Station."

"Alright." I mumbled, still too confused about what I had just dreamt.

Mum cleared her throat. "And wash your hands. What have you been doing, playing in the dirt? I've laid out a nice dress for you to wear on your desk. Muggle attire. Hurry up!" She let the door swing shut behind her.

I stared at my hands and felt my stomach drop. My hands were indeed filthy, covered in dark soil. I ripped the white sheets back and found them smeared with dirt and pine needles.

I sat, frozen, the blood pounding in my head. It had to have been a dream. _Right_?

I looked nervously at the floor and saw dirty footprints tracking towards my bed. Shaking, I leapt out of bed on trembling legs and scrambled to clean up the mess.

Less than fifteen minutes later, I had managed to pull the red-and-black checkered dress over my head Mum had selected for me and thrown my dirty linens into a hamper. I swept the dirt up from the floor and hastily snatched my trunk, scurrying down the narrow stairs as quickly as I could. Mum clucked her tongue as I skidded into the kitchen, breathing hard.

"Aren't you going to do anything with your hair?" She asked critically.

I frowned, touching the wild tangles of blonde hair. "I mean, I guess I am now."

Mum sighed and moved behind me. In less than a minute she had expertly braided the lengths into a fishtail, which hung loosely over one shoulder. Naomi appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking apprehensive.

"Come on, darling, or your sister will miss her train." Mum said sharply as Naomi let out a huge yawn. "We still need to visit Madame Malkin's."

"But I'm tired, Mummy," Naomi protested. "How come I have to go?"

"Because you're not old enough to stay home by yourself." Mum told her as we approached the fire place. Mum offered me the brass pot full of silvery powder. Still reeling from my nightmarish dream (and wondering whether or not it had been real or just a dream), I took a handful of Floo Powder and strode into the hearth. "Diagon Alley." I said uncertainly as the green flames rushed up and engulfed me. My world spun and I caught flashes of buildings and houses before I shut my eyes to fight off the rising nausea. A moment later, I was disgorged into the busy alleyway of Diagon Alley, filled with last-minute shoppers toting large trunks and shopping bags. Mum and Naomi bumped into me a moment later. Mum had Naomi's small hand clenched in hers and was hustling her toward Madame Malkins. I hastened after them, still trying to gather my bearings, feeling as if someone had just woken me from a long period of hibernation. My legs ached, as if I'd been hiking for hours. There was a distinct air of tension as the last-minute shoppers tried to complete their missions before the Hogwarts Express departed. I recognized several fellow students as Mum rushed into Madam Malkin's. My arm was already sore from dragging my heavy drunk behind me.

Madame Malkin's was filled with racks of robes and dresses and a few tuxedos that lined the back wall. Mirrors stationed on every wall gave the store the illusion of much bigger store. Mum plowed onward to find Madame Malkin, who was nowhere to be seen.

I was looking at the price tag on a set of unmarked Quidditch robes ("customizable for any number or name of your choice!", the tag read, for ten Galleons) when I felt a sharp tug on my wrist. I whipped around, the dream still painfully fresh in my mind, my wand drawn, and saw nothing. Beads of sweat broke out on my forehead. I did not like the feeling that I was being watched.

"Blimey, put your wand away!" A familiar voice hissed, and my mouth fell open. I squinted, trying to find the owner of the voice, when I was grabbed by the waist from behind. I let out a yelp as my trunk clattered to the floor and I was enveloped underneath a large cloak.

"James Potter!" I gasped as Sirius sniggered beside him. "What… why…"

"You're jumpier than ever, you know," James said in an amused voice as his face swam into focus. He and Sirius, like Remus, had grown taller over the summer, and their voices sounded slightly garbled and cracked, like an out of tune piano. They had a stretched, pinched look of those who had grown very quickly in a very short space of time. James' Invisibility Cloak, which had once been able to easily accommodate three or four first year students underneath it, now clearly exposed our ankles beneath the hem.

"I have good reason to be." I said dryly, keeping my voice low. I was trying to spot Mum, but she was evidently still tracking down Madame Malkin.

"What are you doing in here, anyway?" I asked quickly, annoyed that they had tried to scare me and succeeded.

"We were on our way to Florean Fortescue's but saw you booking it inside of this place, so we decided to have a little fun instead." Sirius answered devilishly. "Remus and Peter were going to meet us there."

I knew he was watching my face for a reaction. I kept my face schooled blank at the mention of Remus's name, even though I could feel heat creep into my cheeks. "That's nice. But I'm sure Florean would chase you two out with a broom the moment you tried to come in."

"And why would he do that?" James asked incredulously, though he looked like he knew exactly why.

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe because you two ate your way through three gallons of ice cream last fall and puked all over his floor afterward?"

"We paid him!" James objected.

"Plus, we were doing a bet." Sirius added, as if that excused everything.

"You two are impossible." I muttered, keeping careful watch for Mum. "Feel like helping me escape?"

"Not a fan of comfortably-fitting dress robes?" James asked as Mum reappeared, looking hassled.

"Not a fan of my Mum sometimes." I replied.

"Amber?" Mum called out.

"We need to talk to you." Sirius said urgently, looking excited. "About how your transformation is coming along."

"What do you-" I began to ask, but James cut me off, sounding exasperated.

"Becoming an Animagi, Harkstone! Honestly, for a Ravenclaw, you're quite slow."

I smacked his arm and ducked out from under the Invisibility Cloak and almost banged into Mum. She threw her hands into the air. "Good Heavens! Where have you been? I swear, you just appeared out of thin air!"

"Uh…" I looked at the Quidditch robes beside me. "Looking at new uniforms. If I ever get any taller, I'll need new ones."

Mum observed me critically. "I don't think you'll be growing much taller, dear. I stopped growing at fifteen and you're fourteen now."

"Great," I muttered darkly. "Being five foot four inches for life. Sounds wonderful."

"Mum's taller than you by a whole inch!" Naomi giggled.

"Talking American, are you?" Madam Malkin tutted, striding over with a long roll of measuring tape. She laid the thin rope against my arms and had me straighten up and stretch. She nodded once. "I'm sure I have a new shipment in now, Lena. I'll be right back."

"Thank you, Chavelle." Mum said to Madam Malkin, who trotted to the back of the store. I knew James and Sirius were right behind me and hoped Mum wouldn't bring up anything embarrassing. But to my horror, she did.

"So," Mum said, trying to sound casual, but there was a note of forcing herself to speak about something unpleasant in her voice. "I couldn't help noticing two boys at your birthday party. Remus and Sean, right? They seemed very interested in you."

"Oh no." I moaned. "Mum, please, I've got the situation handled. I don't need any advice-"

"But you do." Mum cut me off. Somehow Naomi had disappeared and I glimpsed her gaping in awe at colorful formal robes on the opposite side of the store. Desperately, I tried to signal her over, but her back was turned to me, and I knew I was in for it.

"Now, I know at your age, new feelings and emotions are coming up." Mum plowed on, and I could feel my face reddening like a ripening tomato. "And it's normal to feel… certain things. Boyfriends can be a lot of fun, but there's a big difference about what dating people do and what married people do."

"_Mum. _Do we really need to do this _here_?" I squeaked, and I could hear James and Sirius sniggering quietly behind me.

Mum took a deep breath. "I want to give you a few pointers about boys. I'm your mother; it's my duty."

"No, Mum, really, it's okay." I said desperately, wondering what on Earth could be making Madam Malkin take so long with my blasted formal robe.

"You don't want to do certain things." Mum said loudly, as if she hadn't heard me. "When the hands start reaching around and feeling things… you don't want to do that. When boys whisper in your ear all those sweet nothings… you don't want to do that either! Those nothings might turn into something."

I couldn't even speak. I was too horrified.

"Holding hands, kissing… you don't want to do that. No tongue, you should be married first. No pretty hair, and don't get too close." She hesitated, and then added, "did I ever tell you about how you were conceived?"

"Are you kidding me?" I managed, wanting to sink into the floor and die.

"Here we are!" Madam Malkin exclaimed, sweeping over with a silvery-blue robe. "I'm afraid I'm all out of black for another few months, completely sold out. But look at this beauty! You'll stand out from the crowd in this lovely robe. It's made of Egyptian cotton and Puffskein fur. Touch it!"

Face flaming, I did with a quick motion. I couldn't look at Madam Malkin, knowing she had probably overhead some of Mum's awful attempt at the dreaded "talk".

"We'll take it." She said happily. They exchanged coins at the front while I unwillingly followed, knowing James and Sirius were dogging my every step.

Madam Malkin folded up the robe in tissue paper. I snatched the bag and said, "I think I can get to the station from here, Mum."

"Nonsense, I'm escorting you to the Platform. Naomi?"

"No, really, Mum, I can find my own way." I didn't remind her that she had left me to my own devices two years prior after we'd had a nasty row.

"I'm taking my daughter to King's Cross Station. That's my final word." Mum gave me her infamous scowl and I knew if I didn't agree, she'd never let it go. Summoning my reserves of patience and willpower, I let Mum lead the way out of the store with Naomi's hand in hers. Thankfully, she did not broach the subject of boys again because of Naomi's presence.

King's Cross Station was full of anxious students and parents. I noticed that security had been drastically increased. Two beefy guards dressed in Muggle attire stood erect beside Platform 9 ¾. There was a long line of people waiting to cross the barrier, but first it looked like they had to pass through several security checkpoints, including being scanned, probed, and frisked by several Ministry officials.

"Can't Muggles see?" I whispered to Mum, filled with misgivings.

"Oh, I doubt it." Mum assured me, but she was frowning. We joined the back of the line. A family of four filed into place behind us. I had reclaimed my trunk and squeezed the handle nervously as we slowly moved forward. I wondered how James and Sirius would fare with all of the security measures in place. Sure enough, I caught sight of them appearing near the end of the line, a good fifteen feet behind us, the Invisibility Cloak stowed away.

"Are they going to let us in?" Naomi worried as we approached the barrier that separated our world from the Muggle world.

"Of course." Mum told her confidently, but I knew she wasn't being completely open with her true feelings. I could see my concern reflected in her sky blue eyes; Virginia's eyes.

Just like that, I was transported back to my vivid dream and the reality of my dirty hands and sheets. I hadn't seen my sister as clearly as I had in my dream since she had been alive. I hadn't seen her face since the photograph in her file, the same file I'd retrieved the day I had stolen Folsom's file from Orion Black's office over a year ago.

A sudden wave of panic flooded over me, inexplicable and powerful. I took several deep breaths, trying to still my racing heart.

_I'm fine. _I told myself, despite my body's protests, which made me feel like I had just missed several steps going down a flight of stairs. And then I smelled it: that cloying, sickeningly sweet perfume that had always heralded the arrival of my least favorite person.

I turned my head a fraction of an inch and stared into the eyes of one of the Ministry officials standing near the line. Except that staring back at me through piercing, freezing blue eyes was Folsom, the vampire after my blood.

I barely managed to hold back a scream. I had drawn my wand so fast that my trunk went clattering to the ground. Several people shouted in alarm as I whipped back my arm to cast a Shield Charm, but then someone touched my arm and said, "_Amber!"_

I shut my eyes tightly and reopened them a split second later. Mum was shaking my arm again, hard enough to rattle my teeth. Her face was strained, her brows knit together in apprehension. I felt very dizzy all of a sudden; Mum steadied me with a soft cry of alarm.

"Amber! Oh, dear. Amber, darling. Have you had enough water to drink? You look as pale as a ghost. Here, Naomi, take her trunk. No, sir, please! She's not causing trouble. She's ill!"

I opened my eyes to blurred vision. In front of me was a pair of two Ministry officials, looking tense. My eyes flew to the face of the official who had been Folsom. Except it wasn't. It was a stranger. He had slowly drawn his wand, looking heavily at me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, a solid throbbing pulsating painfully behind my eyes. My vision went hazier for a moment before I let out a soft moan of pain. "I think I need to sit down." _Had I just hallucinated?_

"She needs to be on the Express." Mum fussed. "She needs water. Hurry! Oh, for goodness' sakes. I'm a mother! Hurry up!"

In spite of my splitting headache, it was a relief and almost a laugh to hear Mum chastising others and barking orders. It made for a nice change.

We made it through security without any further furor. I kept my eyes narrowed against the bright lights of Platform 9 ¾, aware that Mum and Naomi were right beside me. And then two more figures materialized with familiar voices: James and Sirius.

"We'll take her on board." James assured my Mum in a tone dripping with politeness and formalities.

"And make sure she gets plenty of cold water." Sirius added graciously. I would have laughed at their stark change in manners if I hadn't felt like my head was in a vice.

"Are you friends of hers?" Mum asked uncertainly.

"Of course we are!" Sirius simpered.

"Practically her brothers." James said slickly, and I let out a small cough of indignation.

"Come on, this standing up won't do." Sirius insisted, and I felt Mum and Naomi give me light hugs. I was spirited away up into the cool quiet of the train and opened my eyes wider. It was much dimmer than the bright cavernous space of Platform 9 ¾, and as Sirius and James helped me sit down, I felt a wave of relief take some of the edge off of the pain.

"Blimey, Harkstone, you look bloody awful." James muttered as he shoved a cold water bottle into my hand. I weakly took a sip.

"Looks like you've seen a ghost." Sirius said, sounding half-impressed, half-concerned.

I took several more sips of water before answering either of them. There was a strange buzzing noise in my ears that made it hard to concentrate on speaking. "I thought… I thought I saw Folsom."

Sirius and James froze. "Folsom… as in the vampire Folsom? The one who hates you more than sunlight and garlic combined?"

"Yes." I managed, shutting my eyes and leaning back against the wall.

"Do you think it was really him?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know." I muttered, wishing they would shut up. "All I know is that my head hurts." I didn't want to confide in them that I was having a hard time telling dream from reality as of late.

There was a pause. "Didn't Dumbledore say something about Folsom being a skilled Legilimens?" James said uncertainly.

"Maybe." I whispered. The whining noise was reaching a louder pitch, making me wince.

"Drink more water." James urged.

But I couldn't. All I could see were flashing images I had seen in my dream. I was running through a dark forest, being pursued by a giant wolf. And then a pale man with dark hair and eyes was kissing a blonde-haired woman who dropped dead at his feet and morphed into the corpse of Angelina.

"Amber." Virginia had said before Mum had woken me. Panting, feeling as if my head was about to explode, I reached up with trembling hands and found my necklace and squeezed.

"Make it stop." I begged to no one in particular. To my great amazement, the buzzing noise ceased at once. My head - which had felt like it was being compressed together - was freed from its pressure. I blinked, sitting up straight, nearly sloshing water over the top of the bottle in my hand.

"Blimey," James said, pulling back. "What was _that _all about?"

I glanced uncertainly down at the necklace resting innocently on my chest. Had it been mere coincidence that when I had asked for help, the necklace had been clutched in my hand? Or was there something more to it?

Sirius had followed my gaze. He was studying the talisman with interest. "Where did you get that?"

"It was a present from my sister." I told him. "Virginia. Right before she passed."

Sirius's gray eyes connected with mine. I had forgotten that he had grown up in a house that looked like a shrine to the Dark Arts. "Where did she get this?"

I chewed my lip. "She didn't say."

Sirius leaned back, looking troubled. "Have you ever heard of Bourgin and Burke's?"

I had. In fact, a year ago, Remus and I had snuck into Knockturn Alley and witnessed Professor Smith buying something inside. Only recently had I learned she was buying a Dark object, a Life Clock, for her partner at the Ministry, Alastor Moody.

"Yes, I have. But come on, Sirius. Dumbledore told me this necklace wasn't anything special. A copy of the original." I remembered Professor Smith warning me to keep the information about the necklace private, since Folsom was likely after the object. I closed my mouth, afraid to say anymore.

James and Sirius were too bright for their own good, and noticed my sudden silence. "That's not just an ordinary necklace, then?" James asked shrewdly.

I groaned. "I'm just glad you aren't talking about my Mum."

They took the bait instantly. They collapsed into raucous laughter. "Your mum could write a book about the dragons and the pixies!" James crowed. "That was… oh, I don't even know."

"Better than eating three gallons of ice cream." Sirius said.

"Better than Harkstone punching Angelina in the face last year!" James shouted back gleefully.

"Better than what?" Remus asked, halfway through the compartment door. The moment I saw him, my heart broke into a frantic sprint, pounding against my ribs. I quickly averted my gaze to the window, watching the monotonous brick wall of Platform 9 ¾. This compartment was alongside the wall, not the platform where families and students milled around.

"Hey, Moony!" James shouted, jumping to his feet and hugging him. He clapped Remus on the back, grinning. "Blimey, you've grown too, huh?"

"You all have." I muttered, not wanting to look at them. I saw Peter scurry in after Remus, looking flustered.

"How come it took you so long to get here?" Sirius demanded as Remus sat down across from me. I made a point not to look at him, my face hot, the memory of our brief kiss back in June still burned fresh in my mind.

"Security's been upped considerably." Remus informed him. "Didn't want to let me through with my medication. They weren't sure it was mine."

"What medication?" James asked, leaning forward. I watched from the corner of my eye as Remus pulled out a dark blue glass bottle from his robes.

"It's wolfsbane pills," he told us, "it's very new to the market, just cleared by the Ministry this August. They're supposed to help ease some of the pain of my condition."

"Your furry little problem." James supplied, and Sirius snickered. Remus smiled, stowing the bottle away. Peter looked anxious as ever.

"What's wrong with you, Pete?" Sirius asked genially. "Motion sickness?"

"Well," Remus said uncomfortably as Peter shook his head, looking downwards, "unfortunately, a Ministry official thought Peter might be trying to sneak in contraband aboard the train. So he had a Probity Probe stuck up his-"

"Well, well, well." A cool voice said, cutting off Remus. "Isn't this interesting."

The five of us looked up. Standing in the compartment doorway were three Slytherins, each looking ominously down at us in turn. I recognized the faces of Logan Avery, Edward Nott, and shockingly, Regulus Black. The latter looked as haughty as the first day I'd met him, two years ago. Sirius clenched his fists, rising from his seat.

"What do you want?" Sirius asked bluntly, drawing his wand. I noticed Avery pull out his own in response.

"Why don't we all just calm down?" Avery said smoothly. His dark eyes slid to me, pinning me to my seat. "I only want to speak to this one."

"You can't." Remus said immediately, his face stony.

"I wasn't aware she needed your permission." Avery said lightly. His gaze never left mine. "We have some… 'business' we need to discuss with you, Harkstone."

"Anything you can say to her can be said to all of us." James interrupted stoutly, and I was touched by their protectiveness and loyalty.

I met Avery's gaze squarely. In spite of how sick I had felt earlier, I felt only powerful rage boiling underneath my calm facade, driving me to my feet. "Alright. What do you want?"

"We need to speak to you _alone_." Nott reminded me, his face set. Remus started to rise.

"Fine." I answered coldly. I was immediately met with protests.

"You can't!" James spluttered. "Are you mental?"

"Amber, no." Remus said firmly.

"I don't want you going anywhere with _that_." Sirius spat, glaring at his little brother with venom.

"If they had anything contraband or Dark, don't you think security would have found it?" I asked the group at large, and an uncertain silence followed my words.

"I don't want you going alone with them." Remus said again. Avery raised a brow.

"Are you two going steady now? Careful, Harkstone. I hear his kind bite."

"Enough." I said coldly, drawing my wand. "If I'm not back in five minutes, you can come for me."

Remus opened his mouth to object, but I swept out of the compartment, following the three Slytherins down the narrow hall of the immobile train. I wasn't sure why I agreed to speak with them; a part of my mind screamed: _What are you doing?! You know what this lot gets up to. Run! Fire! RUN!_

But another part of me wondered exactly how close to the fire I could get before I got burned. The curiosity won over the outcry of my better judgment, and I followed them inside of a vacant compartment. The moment they locked the door, I instinctively cast a Shield Charm, strong enough to repel them all backwards a few steps.

"Is that really necessary?" Avery shouted through the shimmering barrier.

I glared at him through it. "You have five minutes. Start talking."

"The Shield Charm goes away first." He snapped.

"Give me one reason to think you might hurt me…" I let the threat trail off. I let the Shield Charm dissipate. The Slytherins sat down. Avery gestured for me to sit, but I remained standing.

"Please, sit." He said graciously, but his dark eyes were black pits of obsidian.

"I'd rather stand, thanks." I replied coldly.

"Have it your way." He said indifferently, spreading his hands. I noticed all of them had their sleeves up to their wrists, concealing their forearms. I frowned, wondering if they were hiding Dark Marks beneath them.

"So," Avery began, and I noticed Nott flex his arms slightly, "obviously, we've had some issues in the past. And you're probably wondering why we'd like to speak to you in private."

"If you call terrorizing and torturing me 'issues', then yeah, you're correct." I growled.

A muscle in Avery's jaw twitched, but he remained calm. "You've probably noticed Mulciber is no longer a part of our company."

"Yeah, using the Cruciatus Curse on a fellow student tends to burn some bridges." I said sarcastically. Nott swore under his breath.

"My friend Nott here thinks this is pointless, but I'm acting on orders. If you wouldn't mind remaining silent until I'm done speaking, I'd appreciate."

I raised my brow in disbelief. "After all that you've done, you think I should do you a favor?"

"I'm not denying past circumstances." Avery said. "But we're short on time. So, please, humor us."

Even though I felt like giving them all a good Bat-Bogey Hex, I folded my arms across my chest and narrowed my eyes in my best Mum impression I could muster. "I'm listening."

There was a beat of silence. Then Avery cleared his throat. "Unfortunately, I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot with you, Amber. May I call you Amber?"

"Absolutely not." I snapped.

He spread his hands. "Alright, Harkstone. We've had our differences in the past four years, I understand that. But we would never condone the use of any Unforgivable Curse on anyone."

I knew he was lying, but I was interested in why they had been so keen to speak to me alone. I frowned, listening.

"You're one of the brightest students at Hogwarts. Wasting your time with blokes like Potter, Black and Lupin won't get you anywhere in life. I heard a rumor that you were a Hatstall. May I ask what House you were almost Sorted into other than Ravenclaw?"

I fought against a twinge of panic. _How had they known I was a Hatstall? _There was no way they could have known. Unless, someone had told them. But who?

My fingernails bit into my palms as I gave a curt nod. "Gryffindor."

I could tell by their looks that they didn't entirely believe me. "Not Slytherin?"

"No." I answered flatly.

"Regardless," Avery continued, "your prowess and skills have attracted the attention of our… what will you call it… 'society'. I know we've had some major differences in our past, but I think we can all agree we're united towards one common goal."

"That goal being?" I asked tartly.

"Surely you must have at least guessed. No? Well, it's quite simple, really. Once, wizards lived above Muggles. As an accomplished student, you know that we had to go into hiding many years ago. Our belief is merely that wizards should re-emerge from their unfair secrecy and resume leadership in the world."

His words were carefully crafted to sound as appealing as possible, but I could see right through them as if they were glass. "So you're saying you want domination over Muggles?"

"I'd put it another way, but yes," Avery surmised. "Nott and I are in our last year at Hogwarts, but Regulus here is a year under you and he's proven to be very much in support of this goal. You're a brilliant and beautiful witch, and your mind and skills would be richly rewarded by Lord Voldemort."

I felt a chill race up my spine that had nothing to do with the cool temperature in the compartment. That name had been labeled Unspeakable since early summer, and I hadn't heard it mentioned since Dad had forbidden it. I stared into their faces, shaking my head.

"You honestly thought I'd be stupid enough to believe you lot?" I said in a low voice, quivering with fury. "I know what you've been up to all these years. You're all in league with You-Know-Who. And I _know _you're responsible for the attack on Platform 9 ¾ last year. And you probably had something to do with what happened at the Hufflepuff Games, too."

Avery shook his head. "You'll so readily believe Pettigrew? He's a known liar and coward. He belongs in Hufflepuff, if anything. Do you really believe him because you think he's being honest, or do you believe him because you've been searching for an excuse to hate us?"

I opened my mouth to protest, but Nott spoke, cutting across Avery. "She doesn't trust us because of Folsom."

"He's a vampire!" I blurted, fully aware that they would be well-aware of this fact.

"As Lupin is a werewolf." Avery countered, lifting his brows at my stunned expression. "Oh yes, we've known for awhile now. Once you take N.E.W.T. level Care of Magical Creatures, you'll learn to clearly recognize signs of a werewolf, among other creatures."

"Remus is _not _a creature! He's a person!" I snarled.

"Folsom is far different than you'd think," Avery added. "He has a horrific temper. I won't deny that. But he answers to Lord Voldemort. If you agree to ally yourself with us, he'll abandon his quest for vengeance against you. You'll be completely forgiven and safe from harm."

His words were like carefully thrown darts, slicing through the weak spots in my armor. I knew I was staring at him, knew that my mouth had dropped open slightly. I also knew that I had to get out of here - now. His words stirred up a confusing swirl of emotions, including temptation.

"One last thing," Avery said casually as my hand found the compartment door latch, "we've been asked to offer you a trade."

"A trade?" I asked warily, turning slightly to connect gazes again.

"Certainly." Avery nodded to Nott, who produced a sealed envelope. He handed it to me. I raised a brow.

"Open it." Avery instructed, but I was instantly on the defensive.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously. "What's going to curse me when I open it?"

"Nothing." Avery said, spreading his hands. "Go on, test it. But hurry. We're running out of time."

I tapped my wand tip to the top of the letter. "_Specilis revelio!"_

But nothing happened. Whatever was inside wasn't harmful.

Never taking my eyes off of them, I tore open the envelope and glanced at what was inside. I felt shock well up inside of me, chasing away my apprehension and replacing it with fury.

Two years ago, I had taken an illegal dose of Polyjuice Potion (for the second time in a year) and disguised myself as Regulus Black, who was sitting just feet away from me. Sirius and I had ventured into Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place in search of answers concerning Folsom, who I had suspected was a vampire and a supporter of the Dark Arts. Inside of his father's study, we had unearthed a cache of confidential Ministry of Magic files on several witches and wizards. I had found my own family, including myself, cataloged inside, but had only taken Folsom and Virginia's file with me. I had thought I had safely hidden her file in the depths of my room. I had chosen to hide her letter-sized file inside of my Bible, which had rested for years on my bookshelf, along with many other books.

So how on earth could I be holding that exact same file now? How had it been inside of the sealed letter they had given me just now?

"Did you ever read it?" Avery asked quietly, and I fought hard to keep myself from hexing all of them.

Shaking, I faced him, glowering. "How did you get this?"

"That's not the point." Avery said dismissively. "I bet you didn't even read everything in the file. In fact, there's a whole stash of secret information inside of that sheaf. I have been given the password to access that information by a certain someone."

His gaze flickered for the tiniest moment to Regulus. I snapped my attention to Sirius's little brother, who met my gaze with haughty defiance. He wasn't nearly as handsome as his older brother, but carried himself with more pride and arrogance, if that was even possible.

"Your father told you how to unlock it, didn't he?" I ground out, feeling invaded on every level. "How can the Ministry…"

"What the Ministry does and does not do isn't my concern right now." Avery interrupted. "Mulciber is gone. He was excommunicated from our circle the moment he used the Cruciatus Curse on you. However, time is short, and I'll give you ten seconds to decide. Your necklace for your sister's file."

"That file doesn't belong to you!" I snapped, filled with white-hot rage.

"Or you." Regulus sniffed. "You stole it from my father's office, remember?"

A confusing mixture of shame and indignant anger flooded through my veins. Shaking my head, I pressed down on the latch and prepared to leave.

"Haven't you ever wondered why your sister died?" Avery called. "Why she was so sick?"

I froze. Minnie had uttered similar words not even two weeks ago. She claimed to have possible knowledge on why she had died of that unnamed illness, and why Dad gave up a promising career in Quidditch to work at the Ministry of Magic.

But Minnie was family. She may have been nutty, but these boys had always given me a warning prickle on the back of my neck since the first time I had seen them cavorting at the Slytherin table. With a jolt, I realized that day had been the very first day that Regulus had attended Hogwarts, the first sign of trouble brewing.

I wasn't sure how he had become mixed up with these supporters of the Dark Arts. After touring Sirius's house, it was easy to see that his parents were clear proponents of the Dark Arts and the idea of magic over Muggles. It made me ache to think that had Sirius extended a more brotherly hand to Regulus, he may have never found validation with these Slytherins. It hurt to think that had he cared for his younger brother as I had cared for Virginia, Regulus could have been spared the corrosive company of these boys.

But worst of all, it scared me how much I wanted to take off the necklace and hand it over for that file. Hadn't I always wanted to know the truth, the real truth, behind Virginia's death, ever since she had died? What was the harm, if this necklace was just a fake copy?

I made my decision quickly, before I could ponder it any further.

"I'm not interested in your snake oil." I flashed, raising my chin a notch. "And I'd appreciate it if you don't ever speak to me again."

Avery's eyes glittered, but Nott shook his head, grimacing. "I told you she wouldn't budge." He said sourly.

"You leave me little choice." Avery said quietly. I thought I saw him reach for his wand, but before I could, the door was wrenched open and James, Sirius, and Remus pushed their way inside, all three holding their wands out.

Regulus, Nott, and Avery were outnumbered and outskilled. Looking thunderous, Avery stowed his wand without a word, his dark eyes cold and calculating.

"Time's up." James said in a tone that I had never heard before. It sounded older and sharper, like it belonged to a commander in an army. Remus tugged me out, his lip trembling in what looked like a partial snarl.

"What was _that _all about?" Sirius demanded as he slammed the door shut, never looking at his little brother. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head slightly, trying to clear it. We made our way back to the compartment, Peter still occupying it. He was biting his nails, which I noticed were already raw to the quick. He looked up with beady blue eyes at our arrival, inhaling sharply.

"Did they hurt you? Oh, I'm so glad you're alright, Amber. I was so worried! I wanted to save our compartment in case someone else tried to come in-"

"Give it a rest, Wormtail," James advised, and Peter shut his mouth as if I'd used _Langlock _on him. The boys sat down tensely. Remus dropped down beside me, tangling his hands together, radiating nervous energy. I bit my lip, staring at the floor. The train had not yet moved, even though it had to be nearly eleven.

"What happened?" Sirius asked more urgently.

I sighed heavily, rubbing a hand to my jaw. I couldn't stop thinking about how they'd had the file that I'd had in _my _room, all the way back in Bellinghall. How had they obtained it? And why did they want my necklace?

"Amber?" Remus prompted gently.

I found my water bottle and took a long pull from it before answering. The boys were leaning in close, the anticipation clear on their expectant faces. Peter's watery eyes kept darting to the door, as if he was afraid they would come back.

"They wanted me to make a deal with them." I said. "A trade. My necklace for my sister's file." I explained what had happened, what they had told me about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and their ideology. When I told them about how they'd offered to give me a clean slate with Folsom in exchange for my allegiance, Sirius swore loudly and James jumped to his feet, pacing.

"So, what, they're recruiting for the Dark Arts now, are they?" James said, agitated. "I thought security had been tightened tenfold."

"You've got to tell Dumbledore about this." Remus said urgently. "As soon as we get to Hogwarts. He's got to know this kind of loyalty to the Dark Arts is still festering in some students."

"And why didn't you tell us your necklace was special?" Sirius added. "I mean, it is, isn't it? That's why they're after it."

"I have to pee." Peter whispered.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, striving for patience. I felt badgered by all of these boys, Slytherin and Gryffindor alike, and wished Lily was here instead. "Look, I've told you everything I can. It's been hard to stay in contact over the summer with everything that's been going on. Dumbledore said my necklace is just a copy of the real thing, the one that You-Know-Who's after. And I guess Folsom wants it for him."

"Must be, because they offered you a fresh start in Folsom's eyes." James muttered. "But come on. They can't think you're that daft. A bloke like Folsom doesn't forgive."

"Unless he's ordered to." I muttered darkly, unconsciously fingering the necklace. I couldn't help but wonder how many others were being offered rewards or exchanges for their service to the Dark Lord. It couldn't be just me.

"They'll go after Professor Smith next, I'll bet you anything." Sirius said. "I mean, she used to be a Death Eater, right? She's got tons of knowledge about the Dark Arts and about our side. I mean, they kind of knew what to offer you, right? You were tempted, weren't you?"

I twisted my fingers together uncomfortably, feeling Remus's gaze trained on me. I refused to meet his eyes. "Yeah, they did. But I turned them down!"

"Yeah, but what if they offer Professor Smith something similar?" Sirius argued. "I mean, a lady like that's got to have a lot of skeletons in the closet. Who knows what she'll do."

"Dumbledore trusts her." I flared up, defensive of my teacher. "_I _trust her."

Sirius shrugged. James chewed on the end of a sugar quill he'd produced from his bag. "I think," James said, gnawing, "we need to perfect our transformations into Animagus. We'll be that much safer with an animal form as well as our human ones." His serious expression shifted to a sly one, and he stage whispered aloud, "so, what d'you reckon you'll become?"

I stared at him in disbelief as Sirius said, "I bet Peter's going to be something small, like a ferret. Right, Wormtail?"

"Why Wormtail?" Remus asked, frowning.

"He sprouted a wormy tail this summer! Accidentally." Sirius added hastily. "Side-effect of becoming an Animagus."

"My eyes turned yellow." I said quietly, remembering the shock of their reflection in my bathroom mirror.

"Some kind of bird, I reckon," James said thoughtfully. "I think I'll be something large and horned. Maybe a stag. Or an Irish elk."

I shook my head, feeling whiplash from the abrupt change in direction of our discussion. I couldn't fathom how these teenage boys could alter the flow of our dialogue so quickly. My mind was still flooded with the events of my dream, which I wanted to share with them in addition to the discourse I had shared with the Slytherin boys.

But before I could, the compartment door rattled open again. Instead of Avery, Nott, and Regulus, there was a beautiful girl with long red hair and almond-shaped green eyes standing there, and just behind her, a pale, sour-faced boy with curtains of greasy black hair hiding his face.

"Oh, Amber! I've been looking for you everywhere. Come on, I've found one last empty compartment but we'll lose it if we don't hurry. Nice to see you, Remus, Peter." She tipped her head forward, pretending that James and Sirius didn't even exist. James's face had flooded pink at her arrival, his mouth slightly open.

I rose from my seat. Just then, a warning whistle pierced the air. The train was about to depart.

"Coming," I said quickly, giving one last appraising look at the others. "I'll see you later."

"Stay." I thought I heard Remus say, but before I could turn around, Lily pulled me out by the wrists and let the compartment door slide shut behind her. The train lurched forward as we made our way into an empty compartment, Severus plopping down with a most unhappy expression on his pale face.

"So, before we talk, I've been told to give you this." Lily presented me with a small roll of parchment, tied shut with a puffy little violet ribbon. I took it apprehensively.

"Who's it from?" I asked uneasily.

Lily shrugged. "You'll see. Just open it! Sean and I pulled some strings and well… you can thank me later. Read it."

Filled with trepidation, I loosened the bow and read through the lines of fancy calligraphy written across the parchment.

_Amber,_

_It is my pleasure and privilege to inform you that your outstanding academic record and your extraordinary talent on the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team makes you eligible for membership in the Slug Club, the exclusive honor society at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
On behalf of the Slug Club, I invite you to attend the first meeting of the school year, tomorrow evening at six p.m. in my office. Dress is informal. The Slug Club provides numerous benefits, opportunities, connections, and privileges available only to its members. I look forward to getting to know you better tomorrow evening. Welcome to the Slug Club!_

_Sincerely,_

_Professor H.E.F. Slughorn_

"We both got in!" Lily exclaimed, face glowing. "Sev too!"

I looked over at Severus, plastering a smile to my face. "Congratulations."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Bite me." He said sourly.

It was going to be a long ride back to Hogwarts.


	52. The Dementor

**Hey all! I'm sorry about the delay in updating this story, but I recently endured the last month of spring semester and was hit with a Knight Bus of homework and finals. In addition, I also moved several states and got my first boyfriend.. So I've been a very busy girl! Happily, I've graduated with my associate's degree and have the summer to myself.. So look forward to lots and lots of updates with this story :) Happy reading!**

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The lunch trolley rattled by not long after the Hogwarts Express departed King's Cross Station. A squat little witch opened the compartment door, her kind face peering inside. "Anything from the trolley, dears?"

Severus shook his head, but Lily immediately pointed to two chocolate frogs. I handed over payment for two pumpkin pasties. After she moved on to other compartments, Lily bit off the head of one her frogs, fixing me with one of her famous _we-need-to-talk_ stares.

"Sev," she said sweetly, "would you mind stepping out for a minute or so?"

Severus glared at me like I was a dog squatting on his front lawn. I looked away, ruffled. It wasn't my fault he was more sour than crabapples.

"I suppose." He said darkly, rising to his feet and exiting the compartment in a silent sweep. He glided away like a dementor, letting the door slide shut behind him.

"He's sweet as ever." I muttered in his wake. Lily frowned.

"He's got a rough home life," she began, but I waved her off. I knew too well what _that _was like. A bad home life didn't excuse Severus's nasty demeanor.

"So," Lily said brightly, as if Severus had never been in the room, "tell me about Sean and Remus."

This was the absolute last subject I wanted to broach with Lily. I shook my head, hiding my burning face. "We are _not _talking about them."

"Oh, come on! Boys are fun." Lily hopped closer, wiggling with excitement. "Spill. I know you've got a story with Remus, at least."

But I wasn't budging. "Story's over."

Lily pouted. "Fine. You're no fun. So what _do _you want to talk about?"

I eyed her seriously. "How was your summer with Petunia?"

Lily's face fell. "Oh. Well, we dropped her off at university. She's doing alright. Settling in well. She'll hardly write, I just know it. She's always been too independent for her own good."

I had never met Lily's older sister, but from what I'd heard about her, 'independent' was hardly the word I'd use to describe her. Jealous, catty, selfish, cruel all came to mind, but 'independent' gave a more positive connotation. Scowling, I shook my head.

"You deserve a better sister." I told her fiercely. "Petunia's just jealous."

Lily smiled warmly at me. "I guess that's why you're my _other _sister."

Touched, I was lost for words. I made up for the awkward moment by popping a whole pumpkin pasty into my mouth, which would take me at least a minute to chew and swallow.

"Anyway," Lily went on, folding her arms across her chest, seeming to sink into the cushions of the bench, "how's _your_ sister doing? Little Miss Naomi?"

Lily never broached the subject of my deceased sister, but I knew it was time to confide in her about my troubling dreams. I normally would have told Remus, but the mere thought of him made me feel dizzy and hot, and I wasn't sure how well I could relay my words to him when my tongue turned to lead in his presence.

"Actually," I said after swallowing the pasty, "I've been meaning to tell you something."

Lily's eyes widened with interest as I told her my dream. Her knits knit together as I went on. After ten minutes, she was chewing her lower lip, looking very troubled.

"And then I woke up," I finished, somewhat lamely, watching the countryside flash by the large window. "But there was dirt all over the place, Lily. I can't remember it at all, but I must have been outside while I was dreaming."

Lily hadn't touched her second chocolate frog. She let out a deep breath, clearly thinking deeply. "So you've been sleepwalking. Maybe these aren't just dreams. Do you think… well…"

"What?" I pressed, feeling nervousness rising up inside of me like a geyser about to erupt. "What's wrong?"

Lily tucked a curtain of red hair behind one ear. "I think… well, do you think there's a chance it's more than just sleepwalking? Do you think maybe you've been put under the Imperius Curse?"

I gaped at her. "_What_?"

Lily tangled her fingers together in her lap. "Think about it. Professor Smith said the Imperiused wouldn't know they're under the Curse. It would explain why you can't remember going places, but still have evidence that you were going for a hike in the woods in the middle of night without realizing it. Have you had any headaches recently?"

I frowned, touching my temple. "Actually, yes."

Lily looked alarmed now. "Amber, this is serious. I think you need to tell Dumbledore right away. Those headaches could be warnings of brain damage."

"Remus said I should talk to him too." I muttered, remembering his words. "I don't know Lily. I think I'd know it if I was Imperiused."

But Lily shook her head, her red hair swinging forward. "I don't think so. What if someone like Folsom cast it? It's a very powerful curse, Amber. It's Unforgivable for a reason."

"Alright, alright. I'll talk to Dumbledore. Happy?" I said waspishly. I felt peeved that she didn't believe me when I told her that I was sure I wasn't under the Imperius Curse. For all I knew, my headaches were just another side-effect of becoming an Animagus.

Lily held out her pinky. "Promise."

I rolled my eyes. "Why not make an Unbreakable Vow?"

Lily reached for her wand. Hastily, I hooked my pinky finger around hers and squeezed. "Okay, okay! Fine. I promise I'll speak to the Headmaster."

"Good." Lily said seriously, green eyes troubled. "This could be a lot worse than we think. Times are changing. I might live in the Muggle world for part of the year, but we've noticed things too. Did you hear about those slayings in Yorkshire last week?"

I raised my brows. "No, I didn't. It wasn't in the Daily Prophet."

"It was a family of four." She said quietly. "Average Muggles. Severus said the Dark Mark was over their house."

I felt a chill creep up my arm. I couldn't forget the poisonous green smoke that had hung over Platform 9 ¾ last year. A ghoulish skull and serpent had formed out of the green smoke, later being named the Dark Mark.

"These Death Eaters… Lord Voldemort-"

"_You-Know-Who." _I corrected sharply.

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Fine, _You-Know-Who_… it feels like a war's coming. I don't know, do you feel that way?"

I shrugged. "I used to think so. But no one believed me before about anything, so why should I start talking again now?"

Lily's brows lifted. "That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

I stared at the floor, wringing my wrists absently. I didn't want to meet her eyes. "I don't know." My voice dropped lower. "Sometimes, I'm afraid I can't tell dreams from reality anymore."

Lily put a comforting hand on my back. "Talk to Dumbledore."

"I will." I said, tugging on the end of my fishtail braid. "I know I don't say it enough, but thank you for being in my life. I don't know where I would be if you hadn't let me sit with you and Severus three years ago on the ride to school."

Lily hugged me from the side, letting out a long sigh. "Me too. You're my best friend."

"Don't let Severus hear you say that." I said wryly as she pulled back. Lily chuckled and bit into her second chocolate frog.

"I've been thinking," she said mischeivously, revealing chocolate-smeared teeth, "about something, too."

"Oh?" I said matter-of-factly, propping my chin up on my fist.

Lily grinned. "I think that there's a boy that I like."

I dropped my mouth open in mock-surprise. "No, let me guess… James Potter?"

Lily shrieked and smacked my arm. "Merlin's beard, no! No, I was thinking someone else. Someone much kinder."

"Severus Snape?" I asked, and to my astonishment, Lily turned pink. I sat up straighter, sincerely curious now.

"Is it?" I pressed.

Lily bit her lip and twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "Actually, I don't know. I mean, he's my closest friend (aside from you), and we've known each other so long. But I think he'll always be more of a brother to me than anything." She looked away uncertainly, a faraway look in her green eyes.

"Sure." I said neutrally, though I remembered how Severus had always looked at Lily as if she was his own personal miracle. It was no secret to me how much he cared for her.

"Your cousin Harry." Lily said at last, and a red flush worked its way up from her collarbone to her cheeks. "We've been exchanging owls."

I gaped at her, lost for words. When I found my voice, I squeaked, "Since _when_?"

"Since your birthday party." She said gleefully, and she let out a high-pitched giggle. "He's so handsome and sweet, Amber! I can't believe you never told me about him before."

"Because you never asked? Lily's, he's my _cousin_!"

"I know! So if we got married, we'd really be family!"

I shook my head, stunned. "You're exchanging _owls?"_

Lily did that funny laugh again. I wondered, with a thrill of embarrassment, if I had ever made that particular noise when talking about Remus or Sean.

"Yes, we are! He's a good guy. He said he wants to meet up in Hogsmeade during the first school trip of the year. He said if you want to bring along a boy, we could double-date at the Three Broomsticks." She burst out laughing at my terrified expression.

"I told you!" I said in an anguished voice as she continued to laugh. "I'm done with boys for awhile. They're nothing but trouble."

"Suit yourself!" She crowed, leaning back with a cat-like smile just as Severus reappeared. "You're missing out."

Severus raised a brow, but didn't ask. He took his seat by the window, staring moodily out of the glass. It was very obvious that he wanted to be alone with Lily, which would involve me leaving the premises.

"I think I should go back to my other compartment," I said after a minute of stony silence for Severus. "I promised them a game of Exploding Snap."

Lily pouted. "Promise you'll sit with me at the feast?"

"Of course." I said, smiling. I caught Severus's eye as I rose from my chair. His black eyes were cold and calculating, just like Avery's, and with a jolt, I realized that he had almost undoubtedly been to Nott, Avery, and Regulus' compartment while I remained with Lily. I narrowed my eyes, wondering if Severus too was in allegiance with the Dark Arts and Death Eaters. I was almost positive that he was.

"See you later, Amber!" Lily said cheerfully as I left them behind and made my way back to the other Marauders. They all looked pleased to see me, except for Remus, who was nose-deep in a book about Charms and didn't look up when I entered. I sat down and joined the others in a rousing game of Exploding Snap, watching as the sunny weather was swallowed up by towering purple thunderheads as we sped deeper into the wilds of the countryside.

"I think it'll be a wet ride to the castle," James observed as the sky suddenly opened up, spilling cascades of rain down. It spattered and whipped against the window, shockingly loud and drowning out the grinding of the train's wheels as it chugged down the tracks.

"Blimey." Sirius said, watching as a fork of lightning stabbed down on a distant hilltop, echoing with a loud crash. Peter squealed. I shifted closer to Remus, unnerved. He had set his book down and was watching the deluge. Another fork of lightning illuminated the dim compartment, throwing the scars on his face into sharp contrast against his pale skin.

"I fold." I said casually, laying down my cards as I watched the rain throw itself against the glass. The downpour seemed Biblical. I had never seen such a torrent of water pouring down from the sky before.

The lamps flickered to life in the darkness. Peter was breathing noisily into a brown paper bag clamped over his face. Sirius and James were in a sudden death match of Exploding Snap, the only players left. The thunder was intensifying, rolling on and on, making the train shudder. As another belt of lightning gashed the earth, I felt a cold chill permeate the air. I breathed out; my breath came out in a silver cloud of mist. James and Sirius put their cards down, looking uneasy.

"Why's it so cold?" James demanded, stabbing the air vents with an umbrella. "What moron turned the air on?"

And then another chill came: deeper, biting, as if the late summer had plunged straight into the heart of winter. I shuddered as the train jerked hard, rattling the windows and compartment doors.

"What the hell?" Sirius yelled as he steadied himself. "What's going on?"

The train kept speeding onward. But something was wrong. There was a crackling noise, like splintering ice. I watched, transfixed, as the rainwater that had collected on the window froze and bloomed into shapes and patterns of snowflakes. Through the frosty translucence of the window pane, I could see snow falling.

_Snow? _I wondered, the hairs on the back of my neck raising. _On September 1st?_

"What's going on-" James started, but Lupin drew out his wand, looking alert and wary.

"Get your wands out now." Lupin urged, and we obliged. We had long learned to trust his animalistic instincts. I drew my wand, but now I was shaking so hard my entire wand wobbled in my hand, and I was afraid I was going to drop it.

The lights shut off. Peter screamed. If I hadn't known it was him, I would have thought a first year girl had done it. But then the cold chill deepened even further, sucking the very warmth out of me. I folded in on myself, hardly able to breathe. The frigid air seemed to burn, it was so cold.

Without warning, a black shape swooped down in front of the window to the compartment. It was huge, the size of an overgrown man, but it was no man. It was huge and cloaked in a ragged robe, and it glided alongside the train, clear off the ground. It clawed at the window with a skeletal hand.

I felt my gorge rising in my throat. The hand looked like it had decayed in water for a long time. The hand smacked the window, harder. The glass splintered, cracking. Peter screamed again. The thing dipped and swayed in the violent wind, keeping pace with the speeding locomotive.

"What is that?" James shouted, on his feet, looking terrified.

"Dementor!" Lupin yelled, raising his wand. "Patronuses, on three! We can all do them, right?"

Peter was utterly hapless, screaming in his chair. But Sirius and James had leapt to their feet, their faces and pale, and Lupin said, "Three… two… one… _Expecto Patronum!_"

But I couldn't move. I saw flashes of silver light, but I was immobile. I knew I was standing in the compartment with my friends, but at the same time, my mind was far away. Flashes of terrible things flitted across my vision, driving away the present.

Dad was standing in Dumbledore's office, telling me that Virginia was dead. Folsom was inches from my face, promising to get revenge on me. Virginia was lying dead in her bedroom. Mum was tearing up the flowers I had planted on her grave. Dad was screaming at me in a drunken stupor. Angelina and Remus were kissing in the threshold of the Great Hall. A tiny five-year-old Remus was in his bed, being attacked by a gigantic, savage werewolf. I hadn't witnessed the event, but I was horrified at how graphic the image was.

And then other things I had never seen before flashed in my mind: a young man lying dead, his throat cut. Another one, hanging from a tree by his neck. A third man, with brown hair and brown eyes and an emaciated-looking body, weeping over the lifeless form of a blonde woman, a necklace glittering on her bloody chest.

Worst of all, I was back in the Forbidden Forest, choking on the thick, oxygen-deprived air. Angelina Azadian was lying dead in the forest before me, her gray eyes open and staring at nothing. My hands were covered in crimson liquid. Angelina blinked, blood trickling from her mouth, and she pointed an accusing finger at me. I could hear someone screaming, and I realized it was me.

* * *

"Amber!"

I blinked. The bone-chilling cold had receded. I was huddled against something solid and warm, something that smelled like cinnamon, chocolate, and fresh laundry. Blearily, I rubbed my eyes. My vision cleared, and I realized that I was in Remus's arms.

A rush of heat made me try to pull away, but when I tried, my head swam and little stars popped in my eyes. Groaning, I sagged against him, weak and utterly drained.

"What's wrong with her?" Peter whispered. His face was chalk white, his blue eyes bugging out of his head.

"She was sick earlier." James told him. "She had a headache in King's Cross Station. What's wrong, Amber? Talk to us."

I had never let him use my first name, but I was too ill to correct him now. I struggled to focus on the next face. Sirius was perched beside James, looking worried.

"Do you know what happened?" Sirius asked gravely. I shook my head no, biting my lip. I felt as if all of the warmth in my body had been sucked out, as if I would never feel cheerful or happy again.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked gently, rubbing my arm comfortingly. My lip trembled. Virginia's skeletal face flashed in my mind again, and I let out a small sob of grief.

Remus pulled me closer in response, as if shielding me from the horror of what had just transpired. I turned and buried my face in his shoulder, wanting to hide my face from the others, wanting to lose myself in his sweetness. I trembled as sobs shook my frame, not even caring that I was leaving a large wet spot on Remus's shirt.

"Maybe we should get a teacher." James said, sounding upset, when the door opened. I heard someone enter. I didn't look over. I never wanted to see again. I only wanted this awful feeling of worthlessness and guilt to abate… even if that meant I had to die first.

"What happened?" An adult male voice said sharply. I didn't recognize the owner, but I knew the tone of authority when I heard it. I guessed he was a Ministry official, one of the guards on the train.

"A dementor." Remus answered grimly, his voice muffled in my ear. I could feel his vocal chords vibrating as he spoke. "It was flying next to our compartment. It tried to get in."

"Is she alright?" The official asked.

"She needs chocolate." Remus told him. "As much as you can get from the trolley."

"Bloody hell." Sirius said in a low voice. "Was that was that thing was? A dementor, you said?"

"It wasn't the only one, I'm afraid." The official said grimly. "We've dispersed them with Patronus Charms, but I thought I saw three additional Patronuses come from this area. A stag, and two wolves?"

"Sounds about right." James said. "Mine's a stag. It's always a stag."

"Dog." Sirius told him, as Remus said reluctantly, "Mine's a wolf."

"Good Lord." The official said, sounding very impressed. "And you're all fifth years?"

"Fourth years." James corrected him. The official whistled.

"I'll be informing my boss about this. He'll want to recognize you for your assistance. Shall I fetch that chocolate?"

"Now, please," Remus said tartly. I fought to control and steady my breathing, and Remus tightened his arms around me in response.

"I'm right here." He whispered in my ear, pressing a reassuring kiss to my cheek. "I'm not leaving you alone."

I suppressed a whimper of despair and pressed deeper into him, shutting myself off to the rest of the world.

I was faintly aware of the rattling of the train. I wasn't listening to the cadence of male voices in my vicinity. The only sound I focused on was the steady _ba-bum, ba-bum _of Remus's heartbeat. He stirred me gently, squeezing my hand lightly. I hadn't realized he'd been holding it, or that I had been clinging to it like a lifeline.

"Amber, love. Come on," he said gently. "You need to have some chocolate."

I shook my head. All I felt was this awful weight of dark emotions, keeping me chained to this new prison inside my own body.

"Eat." He encouraged softly. "It'll help."

His voice cut through the blackness cloaking me like a burial shroud. Slowly, I accepted a piece of dark chocolate from his hand. Unwillingly, I opened my jaws mechanically, dropping the piece onto my tongue.

"That's my girl." Remus said quietly, kissing my cheek again, and I felt a slow, vague warmth spread from my toes into my waist. "Chew it and swallow."

I did, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. To my surprise, the bitter chains were snapped, and I felt warmth and goodness fill up the dark places with light.

I sat up quickly, wiping my face, accepting a second piece of chocolate. It worked as quickly as an antidote to poison. The boys crowded around me, looking anxious.

"Are you alright?" James asked, real concern etching his face. The lamplights reflected in his glasses, temporarily flashing white.

"I'm fine." I replied automatically, though I was deeply shaken. I tried not to think about how close Remus and I had been, but the memory of his lips against my cheek brought fresh heat surging forth. I touched my face, as if he'd burned his mark into my skin.

"What happened to me?" I asked quietly, suddenly dreading their answers.

Sirius exchanged a look with James. "Well, you sort of went… frozen." Sirius said slowly.

"You started shaking all over." James added. "Your eyes were all unfocused and blank, like you were in a trance. Then you started having water come of your eyes-"  
"That's called crying, mate," Sirius interrupted.

"Whatever, crying. But you weren't making much noise. You were just…"

I spread my hands, shutting my eyes. Apparently, I had gone into some kind of fit. I didn't want to know anymore. Already, I was vibrating with mortification. "And none of you did that?"

I could tell by their uncertain looks they hadn't. I pushed my face into my hands, unable to look at them.

Remus touched my back, but I didn't push him away. His touch was more comforting than anything. "Dementors make us relive the worst things in our past. They suck the happiness out of living things. They feed off of it. And they'll leave with you nothing but the worst experiences of your life."

I stared at the floor through the cracks between my fingers. I had indeed seen snapshots of some of the worst moments of my life. But then there had been other things I'd witnessed, things that hadn't happened to me in my life. Things that I had never seen before.

So... _why had I seen them_?

I shivered, and Remus moved his hand along my spine, sending pulses of heat through me. I knew I should have told him to stop, but all I wanted at that moment was to stay with him and have his touch keep me anchored to reality.

"Blimey." James said hollowly. "What kind of stuff did you see?"

My head snapped up. "James Potter, that is the most insensitive, rude thing I have ever-"

"He didn't mean it like that!" Sirius objected. "We're worried about you, Amber!"

"And why is that?" I said, rounding on him, noting that he too was using my first name.

"Because we're your friends! We care about you. Marauders for life, remember?" Sirius shot back, gray eyes flashing. "You don't have to keep secrets from us."

I was at a complete loss. I had not been expecting James nor Sirius to proclaim their loyalty to me, especially in such a passionate way. Closing my mouth, I looked down at the floor, eyes swimming in tears again. But this time, it was because of the depth of gratitude I felt toward the two boys.

"We'll be arriving in Hogsmeade Station soon." Remus said. "We should change."

I wasn't sure my legs would support my weight, but I managed to stand on shaky limbs. Remus looked ready to offer a hand, but I was able to stand on my own.

The five of us pulled on our school robes over our Muggle attire without much talk. The mood in the compartment was tense and filled with nervous energy. All of us were trying to contemplate the reason for the appearance of the dementors. My biggest question kept floating in my mind's forefront: why would they go after children on a train? Shouldn't they be in Azkaban prison, guarding the prisoners?

_Maybe they were looking for you. _A voice suggested in my mind, and I froze in the act of shutting my trunk closed.

I could feel Remus watching me like a mother hen supervising her chick. Pursing my lips, I shut the lid of the trunk with a firm _snap_. I glimpsed the ancient leatherbound book Minnie had given me poking out from a white shirt.

_Don't be ridiculous. Dementors seek out excitement and positive feelings for food. They probably were hunting and the smell of excited students was probably their idea of a feast. Why would they come after me? I'm nobody. I'm just… Amber._

But a bigger part of me knew that was next to impossible. Dementors were supposed to guard the wizard prison of Azkaban. They weren't supposed to leave - ever.

So why were they so far from their posts?

"I hope they'll have some answers for us at the feast." Remus remarked as the train slowed down. The bright lights of Hogsmeade pierced the indigo night outside of the window, twinkling orange and gold in the darkness.

I could hear people walking swiftly to and fro in the corridor. Prefects and Ministry officials must have been making sure everyone was safely inside their compartments before arrival. Reluctantly, I sat down again, tugging at my necklace absently. I was trying my best not to relive the horrific images that had tormented me when the dementor had appeared. But I couldn't stop wondering why it had affected me so severely when James, Sirius and Remus had all been able to successfully drive it away with their Patronuses.

Remus slipped his hand into mine. I let him hold it for a few seconds when he interlaced his fingers through mine. I realized with a pang of guilt that he must have been affected by the dementor, too. He had been attacked by a werewolf in his youth. He had most likely relived it, just as I'd relived my own demons. I stroked his hand with the edge of my thumb, wanting to pass on some of the comfort he'd given to me.

Remus squeezed my hand. And then I remembered: we weren't together. We were just friends. At his own request.

I pulled away, not meeting his gaze. I didn't want to see his face. His stance on our relationship hurt and confused me. He was my biggest source of comfort, aside from Lily, and I knew we felt something more than friendship for the other. The fact that Remus refused to move past friendship into something more both stung and baffled me. He'd had no trouble going steady with Angelina, but now, he would not cross that line with me. I understood he wanted to keep me safe (for whatever his reasons), but the fact remained that we were living in increasingly uncertain times. Who knew how much time we had left?

I didn't want him to play games with me. I had told him that on the beach two weeks ago, and I had to reinforce that boundary now.

The train eased to a stop. The five of us jumped to our feet and pulled down luggage from the racks above our heads. Peter was too short to reach his, so James handed it down to him. We stayed close together in the corridor, moving much like the rest of the students, who were floating through in tight little clusters. We stayed in our own group, pressing together.

The night air outside was chilly, but still much warmer than the air that had been around the dementor. This part of the country was remote and wild; jagged black mountains cut through the navy blue sky through the line of pine trees surrounding Hogsmeade Station.. The lack of lights from cities and towns gave full glory to every star and constellation, which twinkled down from the heavens. I stopped to admire the night sky when a girl with long blond hair jostled past rudely; I glimpsed a Slytherin's Prefect badge glinting on her chest as she sashayed away.

"Who was _that?" _I muttered as the girl turned and fixed me with a haughty stare.

"I think her name is Stella Summer." Remus guessed. "I thought that's what her luggage said."

I shrugged, pressing closer to Remus for warmth. "Let's get inside the carriages."

James and Sirius were talking loudly about what kinds of food they wanted to see at the feast. Most students, however, were subdued, quiet. I detected the distinct air of fear permeating the air as we moved through the flow of the crowd and towards the horseless carriages.

Except now, the carriages weren't horseless.

I stood, staring up at what I could only describe as a skeletal redesign of a horse. It was jet-black, with reptilian skin covering every inch of its body. It revealed an emaciated body that no living horse could have. Its giant, bat-like wings were tucked beside its haunches, and when it turned its angular head, I saw milky-white blind eyes peering down at me from the eye sockets.

"Amber?" Remus said quietly, shaking me slightly. "Are you alright?"

I didn't take my gaze from the carriage. Or the creature pulling it. Professor Smith had once taken me for a ride on a thestral, but I hadn't been able to see it before. Now, it stood before me, as real and tangible as the dementor had been.

"Can't you see them?" I whispered, pointing. "The thestrals?"

Remus raised a brow. "No. Can you?"

I shook my head slightly. "I haven't been able to before. But now I can." _Why?_

Remus did take my hand now, and this time his grip was firm. "Come on."

He led me away. I craned my neck, still staring at the ghostly creature. Remus let go when we sat down in the carriage, flanked by James, Sirius, and Peter. Peter was still very pale and looked like he was on the constant verge of tears. James and Sirius were now arguing about Quidditch.

"I think I'm old enough to be made Captain." James said heatedly as the carriage rolled forward. "I've got the skill."

"No one in their right mind would give team Captaincy to a fourth year." Sirius snorted.

James threw himself backward in his seat and folded his arms moodily. "Fine, then. Who do you think got it?"

I wasn't listening. My thoughts were wandering halfway between what had transpired on the train and what might happen this school year. Hogwarts loomed closer, a many-windowed mountain rising from the blackness of the night. Tiny squares of golden light cut through the outline of the castle, and I felt a flicker of relief. Soon, I would be able to speak to Dumbledore. Soon, we would be inside the protective enchantments of Hogwarts.

I thought I felt the air shiver as we crossed through the barriers placed around the school. The carriages pulled to a halt shortly afterward, and the five of us climbed out of our coach. I could see more thunderstorms advancing in the distance. Their curved outlines were illuminated by flashes of purple and gray. I followed the boys up the stairs and through the massive oak doors. Whispers rose into a cacophony of mutters and speech as we entered the Great Hall. I didn't bother sitting at the Ravenclaw table and instead perched on a Gryffindor seat, flanked by Remus. Peter sat on his other side. James and Sirius leapt over the empty table and sat across from us, looking speculative. I raised a brow but didn't bother chastising them.

"Look." James said, indicating toward the front of the Great Hall. The staff table was full, but for the second year in a row, none of the teachers looked happy. In fact, they looked downright melancholy.

"Dumbledore's there." Sirius added, nodding in his direction. Sure enough, the Headmaster was seated at his gilded golden throne-like chair in the center of the staff section, his long silver beard glinting in the light of the hundreds of hovering candles. "Blimey, he looks scary."

He did. Dumbledore was seated, but his posture gave off the aura of a crouched lion. His anger radiated down to our table, warding off the chill of the dementor and replacing it with a sense of comfort.

"Dumbledore is the only one You-Know-Who ever feared." Sirius told us in a conspiratorial voice. "At least, that's what I heard Dad telling Mum the other night."

"Good to know." James said as the rest of the students filed in. Not long after, a group of petrified-looking first years skittered inside, lead by the looming and intimidating figure of Hagrid, the gamekeeper. I watched him trundle up the staff stairs and seat himself at the end of one side, accidentally knocking into the table and grinding it forward several feet.

"Merlin's beard," James said as Sirius snickered into his palm. "That's a lot of man."

"He's harmless." I snapped, defensive of Hagrid. It didn't appear the gamekeeper had many fellows at the school, and the reality of how cruel James and Sirius could be in pursuit of making fun still rankled.

"He's a giant." James mused. "Or half. But there's no way he's pure human. They just don't make them like that."

"Shut up, James." I said tartly, wishing I had something cold to drink to help cool my rising temper.

"Looks like you're back to your old lovely self." Sirius chuckled. "I missed this fiery side of you."

"I will kill you and make it look like an accident." I threatened, but this only made him laugh more.

"Good to have you back, Harkstone." James agreed. I fixed him a glower that Mum would have been proud of.

We watched as Professor McGonagall brought in the Sorting Hat. She looked especially grim this year. Before the first new student could be Sorted, the Hat had a song to sing. Professor McGonagall placed the tattered old hat on its equally battered stool, and a moment later the rip at the brim split open and a rasping, clear voice sang out.

_In the days of old,_

_when Hogwarts was young_

_and I had hands_

_a darkness crept through the land_

_Brave Gryffindor said_

"_Give me a sword _

_and I'll cut off that snake's head"_

_Wise Ravenclaw argued,_

"_Better to burn the whole monster_

_rather than just its brain."_

_Gentle Hufflepuff suggested,_

"_Give the creature a new place to live._

_Return the shadow to the black deep."_

_Cunning Slytherin said nothing,_

_and instead plotted inside his mind_

_to harness the power of darkness_

_and forge himself a master weapon._

_It is time, dear students _

_to choose your path_

_that will guide your through life_

_Will you show daring, wit,_

_kindness, or ambition?_

_In the days of now_

_we must join together and choose_

_either to destroy evil_

_or to end it_

_Place me upon your head_

_and listen to my voice_

_and I will decide_

_who you truly are._

The song was met with lukewarm applause. I exchanged a significant look with the boys seated around me. Each year, the Sorting Hat created an elaborate new song. But this one had been the strangest by far.

"Doesn't it usually rhyme?" James asked.

"Songs don't have to rhyme to be good." I snapped.

James lifted his hands, spreading them in surrender, looking half-sheepish, half-annoyed.

"Applecrest, Hugo," was the first name to be called. I watched with half-hearted interest as a skinny boy with red hair sat on the stool and had the Sorting Hat dropped on his head. His ears were so large they kept the hat supported above his eyes, causing a few students to giggle. He was Sorted into Gryffindor a moment later and took a seat at the end of the table.

"Hey," a female voice whispered. Lily had alighted next to me, and her expression was anything but peaceful. She looked scared. "Are you alright? I can't believe it. Dementors! On the Hogwarts Express!"

"Keep your voice down." I hissed, aware that several students were eyeing us.

Lily grimaced, tossing a sheet of dark red hair over her shoulder. "I don't care. I can't believe this has happened. What's going to happen? Dementors are supposed to stay in the middle of the North Sea!" She had dropped her voice to an urgent whisper, so we had to talk with our heads close together to communicate.

"I know." I said quietly, watching as, "Cram, Emmeline," was called up. "I wonder what Dumbledore's going to say."

Lily's brilliant green eyes pierced me. "You're going to talk to him tonight, aren't you? You promised."

"I promised I'd talk to him." I corrected her. "I didn't say tonight."

Her mouth dropped open. "Amber, you _have _to! Especially if you passed out!"

Now it was my turn to gape. I opened and closed my mouth soundlessly, like a fish out of water. "How… what… _how do you know about that?"_

Lily glanced at Remus, and I elbowed him hard in the ribs. He let out a grunt of pain. "What was _that _for?" He grumbled.

"Why'd you tell her?" I demanded in a harsh whisper.

"Because she asked if you were alright. I'm sorry. I didn't know you didn't want her to know."

Shaking my head, I felt the familiar burn of embarrassment color my cheeks. I wondered how many others knew about my reaction to the dementors. As far as I knew, no one else had passed out or go into a trance.

"Talk to Dumbledore." Lily insisted. "Please. Promise me you'll go straight to him after the feast."

I felt annoyed and pestered. I knew Lily had my best interests at heart, but the idea of rehashing and reliving the horrible things I'd witnessed made me defensive and unwilling.

"Good." Lily said quietly, deflating a little. She glanced over at James, who quickly looked away. Lily frowned and asked me in my ear, "Does he have a problem or something?"

In spite of myself, a tiny smile twitched on my lips. "I think the only problem he's got is he's into you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'd rather go out with Filch."

I snorted into my palm, drawing several looks of consternation. A seventh- girl leaned over and said in a stage whisper, "You aren't a Gryffindor; you're a Ravenclaw! You can't sit here."

I raised a brow. "Since when?"

"Since always. It's against House rules."

"Give it a rest, Fay," James hissed. "She's been sitting here for three years and you're _just _noticing?"

Fay opened her mouth, but James shrugged and turned his back on her, dismissing her argument. Fay looked furious but didn't push it.

"She's the new Captain of the Gryffindor team," Peter informed me in his squeaky voice. "She's too afraid to lose him or Sirius, so she's really nice to them. We just found out like, two minutes ago."

"Great, because they didn't need any extra special treatment." I muttered. The thirty-odd remaining first years were Sorted over the next quarter of an hour. At last, "Zankman, Chloe," was Sorted into Slytherin, and Professor McGonagall carried out the Sorting Hat and the old stool from the Hall.

Dumbledore rose from his chair, and the scattered cacophony of voices ceased at once. The Headmaster still gave off the air of a carefully controlled - but blisteringly hot - inferno. His rage was palpable, but contained.

"There is a time for answers and a time for speech. But now is not that rime. And so, without further ado, tuck in."

Mountains of food instantly appeared on the long wooden table at his words. James and Sirius immediately lunged for a platter of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Peter ducked out of the way as James snatched up two biscuits beside his plate. Sirius tore off a hunk of chicken with his teeth while James shoveled forkfuls of mashed potatoes down his gullet. I stared at them, disgusted.

"What?" Sirius asked at my expression, his mouth full. "I'm hungry!"

"I used to be." I said, repulsed, pushing my empty plate away from me.

"Come on, Amber," Remus said, adding steamed asparagus and trout to his plate in a much more dignified way than Sirius and James' appalling display. "You've got to eat something. You need to get your strength back."

But I truly wasn't hungry. I shook my head, remembering the rotting, scabbed hand of the dementor banging on the window of the compartment.

"Just let her eat at her own pace." Lily advised Remus, choosing a grilled chicken breast and corn on the cob. "You know she won't listen."

"I'm right here, you know, and I'm not five years old." I said grumpily.

"Better eat soon before _they_ eat everything." Remus suggested, glancing at Sirius and James, who had now finished an entire bowl of mashed potatoes and were soon to be done with a platter of fried chicken.

The smell of meat made my stomach sour further. Scowling, and aware I was being watched by my two closest friends, I unwilling flopped a helping of wild rice and sauteed mushrooms on my plate. Lily offered me a bowl of mashed rutabaga and sweet potatoes, which I begrudgingly added to my plate.

"That's all you're eating?" James asked through a mouthful of food.

"Unlike some people," I said in a refined voice, "I have self-control."

"Are you calling me fat?" James retorted, swallowing hard.

"I think she is, mate," Sirius said gravely. "You _are _getting a little thicker around the middle, now that you mention it."

"Maybe because I'm getting abs, Padfoot." James shot back, but he was definitely slowing down on his portions. "I'm a growing boy."

Shrugging, I picked at my meager portions, still feeling too apprehensive for food. I was dreading speaking with Professor Dumbledore, while at the same time unable to cease the endless loop of reliving what the dementor had brought forth in mind. In addition, I was now obsessing over what Remus had done in order to comfort me, and how I'd had to redraw the line between us.

At last, the entrees vanished from the table. I had only eaten half of my plate, and was glad to see it go. Puddings appeared in the stead of their predecessors, and Lily reached for two helpings of the treacle tart to which she was so partial. James watched her with keen interest.

"What's your issue?" Lily snapped. "Can't you mind your own plate?"

"I'm sorry," James said lightly. "I just never met someone else who fancied treacle tart as much as I do."

Lily frowned doubtfully at him. "No one likes treacle tart as much as _I_ do."

"Really?" James said. "Is that a challenge?"

Lily pushed her hair back. "Don't bother, Potter. You couldn't keep up with me even if you had help."

James puffed out his chest. "I'll take you up on that. If you eat more treacle tart than I do, you can do whatever you want to me. If I eat more than you, you have to go out on a date with me."

The fork clattered from Sirius's hand. Peter looked terrified that Lily would hex James or worse. She regained herself quickly and said, "Alright, Potter, you're on. But you're going to lose."

James grinned, but I couldn't help but wonder if his enormous dinner would be working against him. "You're on, Evans."

I shook my head, turning away into Remus. "I can't watch. Tell me when it's over."

He shook gently with laughter. "Alright… three, two, one, go."

I heard the scrape of plates and metallic click of forks. Sirius was counting portions of tart. I refused to look, my stomach already queasy.

"Four for Evans, come on, James, you're losing!"

"I can't… I'm going to be sick if I eat another bite!" James croaked.

"Five." Sirius said unhappily. "Three for James."

"Don't do it, James." Remus begged. "Leave it alone to fight another day."

There was a pause. I dared to peek. James looked positively green and miserable. Lily, on the other hand, looked cool as a cucumber as she ate a sixth slice of tart.

"I win." She purred, not even sweating. "You know what I want to do with you, Potter?"

"What?" James mumbled, fanning his face off.

Lily leaned forward, smiling seductively. "Pitch you off the Astronomy Tower."

"Ouch!" Sirius roared with laughter. James swayed for a moment in his seat, and then pushed back and sprinted from the Hall, hand clamped over his mouth. Squealing in disgust, I hid my face in Remus's arm, laughing.

"Typical." Lily sighed, looking very pleased with herself. "Amber, mind passing me a cup of tea?"

I obliged. A moment later, the puddings vanished. Once again, an unnatural quiet stole across the Hall. Silence filled the room, broken only by the horrible splattering sound echoing in from the threshold. Laughter broke out. Sirius snorted. "Sounds like James didn't make it to the bathroom. Poor boy."

"Shhh." Lily said, leaning forward to listen to the Headmaster.

"Now that we are all well-fed and in better spirits, it is my pleasure to welcome you to Hogwarts. Whether it is your first year in our castle or your last, welcome. I am happy to see that we have all made it here in one piece. However, it is also evident that you have been through quite an ordeal on your journey here."

There was a loud buzz of noise as students talked at once. Dumbledore raised his wizened hands and the noise abated.

"First, I wish to extend my thanks to the Ministry officials who were aboard the train at the time of the appearance of the dementors. I also want to recognize the students who were able to fend off dementors on their own, therefore defending themselves and their fellow students. Well done."

There was a round of applause. Sirius looked highly pleased with himself. Remus gave a quick smile, which vanished soon after. His gaze slid instead to me, and I felt heat creep into my cheeks at the depth of concern in his green eyes. It was clear he was still worried about my reaction to the dementor's presence.

"Dementors are some of the foulest creatures that roam this Earth." Dumbledore said, his voice carrying clearly around the Great Hall. "They do not distinguish between prey and bystanders. I have spoken with the Minister of Magic, Eugenia Jenkins, and I am sad to confirm that the dementors who swarmed the Hogwarts Express this evening were some of the same dementors stationed at Azkaban prison. For reasons we do not yet know, they have abandoned their posts and are no longer under Ministry control."

Shocked and terrified noises met this statement. I stared around at my friends, filled with cold fear and rising dread.

"Why would they leave Azkaban?" I managed, the blood draining from my face. "How come the Ministry can't control them?"

"I dunno." Sirius said, just as Remus muttered, "perhaps they've been visited by a certain society. Maybe they've changed their allegiance."

"To whom?" Lily asked.

Remus grimaced. "Lord Voldemort."

Lily and I both winced at the name. Before Sirius could speak, Dumbledore's voice cut through our conversation, bringing us back to full attention.

"Protection at Hogwarts has been increased drastically over the past summer. Rest assured, knowing that as long as you are here within the boundaries of the school, you are safe.

"I would like to remind all students that the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds. All magic is to be used exclusively within class time and not in the halls or dormitories. Our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind anyone who is wondering that there is a full list of banned items tacked to the front of his office."

"That's all he's going to say about the dementors?" Lily asked in disbelief. James came tottering back to his seat, looking pale and clammy.

"Was that you, leaving a mess for Filch in the hall?" Sirius joked.

James sipped a glass of water. "Maybe."

"I'd give it eight out of ten points for noise." Sirius said approvingly, while Lily and I made disgusted faces.

"And you wonder why you're both single." I said, repulsed.

"Without any further ado, I have one more announcement to make." Dumbledore said, and I detected a note of pride in his voice. "Once again, our post for Defense Against the Dark Arts is vacant. After a careful and wide search for a new teacher, I would like to introduce our latest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Most of you may have already heard of her. She graduated from Hogwarts five years ago with no less than seven N.E.W.T.S. and received her diploma with a concentration in education, which she quickly abandoned for the chance to play professional Quidditch. Her team has won nearly every game since she joined the roster. But she has agreed to return to school for a year. Teaching, as she's told me, is her greatest passion, aside from her favorite sport."

The dawn of realization was beginning to rise inside of me. I gaped at Dumbledore in disbelief. _Surely not. _I thought, stunned.

Professor Smith had taught at Hogwarts, only a year ago. But now, from what I was hearing, there would be a _second_ Professor Smith. Someone related to her very closely, someone I'd only met once. Someone who played for the Montrose Magpies, who had my dream job. Someone who I thought was far too good at Quidditch to ever come back to Hogwarts.

Dumbledore spread his hands in a welcoming gesture to a tall young witch seated at the staff table, who rose gracefully, tossing her long chestnut-brown hair over one shoulder. "I would like to introduce your newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Mara Smith."


	53. Sleepwalking

**Hello my loyal readers! Thank you for your patience with the last chapter.. it's been a crazy few weeks but I wanted to make sure I delivered a high-quality chapter in Amber's tale as usual. I love reading your reviews and your speculations and can't wait to add more to this story. Enjoy!**

* * *

Lily turned her huge green eyes onto me in disbelief. "Did he say… is that Professor Smith's _daughter?"_

But James and Sirius had eyes only for Mara, who was waving briefly at her chair before sitting down. They exchanged wide-eyed looks of dizzy wonder.

"I can't _wait _for class." James said happily.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts is my new favorite subject, hands down." Sirius agreed.

I rolled my eyes. "She's twenty-two. She's old enough to be your sister."

"Or girlfriend." Sirius said slyly, and James slapped him on the back, grinning.

"I didn't know Professor Smith had any children." Remus said, frowning slightly. "She does look like her. Without the scar."

I nodded, watching as Mara turned her full attention back to Dumbledore, who began to speak once more. She looked very much like her mother, but there were a few distinct differences. The long, cruel scar that cut across Professor Smith's face was absent on her daughter's, and her eyes were much darker than Professor Smith's light, pale green eyes. Mara's hair was darker as well. But otherwise, it felt like staring at a twenty-years-younger version of my former teacher.

"What do you think we call her?" James added. "Mara?"  
"Dream girl?" Sirius offered. "Future wife?"

Lily reached over and slapped Sirius on the arm. "Professor Smith, obviously."

"But there's already been one!" James complained. "I'm getting confused already."

"No surprise, considering your brain is about the size of a walnut." Lily said coldly.

"Now that all announcements are in order, I believe it is time for bed. Pip, pip!" Dumbledore dismissed us so suddenly that it took a few confused seconds before students started rising from their seats en masse. Prefects escorted nervous-looking first years from the Hall, like mother hens leading their chicks.

"Blimey," James said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't remember being _that _small. Are you sure they just aren't making them travel-sized now?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, Amber. Good night, Remus." She dipped her head at Peter, but acted again as if James and Sirius weren't there. She swept past us, her long tail of red hair dancing behind her.

I noticed James staring after her with a hungry expression. I snapped my fingers three times before he came to.

"Huh… what?" James said stupidly.

"Someone's got it bad for Evans." Sirius snickered, as James readjusted his glasses.

"Nah… she's pretty, though, isn't she? I mean, it's not hard to see why she's so popular. Do you think she's single?" He tacked on hopefully.

I grinned, glad for once that my cousin and my best friend had decided to start penning letters to each other in the last part of the summer holiday. "Actually, no. She's kind of seeing someone."

James flared up at once, like a beta fish staring down a finger on the glass of his tank. "What do you mean? Who?" He looked around aggressively at the flow of students leaving the Hall, belligerent.

I laughed. "That's her business, not mine."

James looked furious. "But you're her best mate! Come on, you've got to tell me. I have to know who it is."

"So you can hex him the next time you see him? I don't think so." I gave a huge yawn and dramatically spread my arms, accidentally hitting Remus in the process. "I think I'll head up to my tower now. Good night, boys."

"Wait, Amber!" James pleaded. "Come on! The bonds of Marauderhood are sacred! You can't just go!"

I winked and let the flow of the crowd sweep me away.

The trek up to Ravenclaw Tower had to be the longest commute of any House. I watched as several Slytherins parted from the crowd in the threshold and made their way down towards the dungeons. The Hufflepuffs headed towards the entrance to the kitchens. The Gryffindors walked in tandem with the Ravenclaws to the seventh floor up the moving staircases, at which point the Ravenclaws filed down a long corridor to the west side of the castle. Ten minutes later, the tall spiral staircase leading up to Ravenclaw Tower opened itself around a bend in the corridor. I noticed the black wrought-iron railings and remembered finding Peter on the floor three years ago, after he'd fallen from the stairs, which hadn't had railings up until that point. Shivering at the memory of his blood pooling across the marble floor, I started up the long, winding spiral staircase. The higher I went up, the more I could see through the tiny windows cut into the walls of the spire. The large thunderstorm I'd seen from a distance at Hogsmeade Station was closing in on Hogwarts; lightning flashed from cloud to cloud and rolls of thunder made the steps beneath me tremble.

At last, I reached the top landing of the Tower. The imposing solid door did not have a keyhole or a doorknob. Instead, there was a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle in the center of the door. I lifted the heavy bronze ring once and let it fall against the knocker.

A cool voice drifted from the beak of the eagle, "What has hands but cannot clap?"

I frowned, thinking hard for half a minute. "A clock."

"Very good!" The door swung open. I stepped across the threshold into the circular Common Room, my nose immediately filled with the scent of books, wind, and faintly of lavender. Tables, chairs, and bookcases filled the room, which was carpeted with midnight-blue. The domed ceiling was painted to look like the night sky, complete with moving constellations that mirrored the realtime locations. The sky was always clear in the Common Room, regardless of weather outside.

Even though I was tired, my mind was still racing, filled with the events of my nightmare from the previous night. In addition, I now had the contents of the dementor's presence burned into my mind. Even worse, I couldn't stop thinking about Remus and the soft weight of his lips on my cheek, or the strong feel of his hands anchoring me to him.

I shook my head vigorously, trying to dislodge the thoughts. _Stop. Read something to take your mind off of things._

So I selected the first book off the closest bookcase. _Unfogging the Future, Unraveling the Past, Volume 4_, by Cassandra Vablatsky and Marius Pritchard. It was a heavy, solid-blue book that looked as if it had been around for at least fifty years. Sure enough, when I checked the publication date, it read July 25th, 1923.

I chose a seat by the fireplace, one of the only squashy chairs in the Common Room. Unlike Gryffindor's, which was filled with cushy, springy sofas and armchairs, Ravenclaw's felt more like a formal library that would be found in the building of the Minister of Magic. Square golden pillows had been placed perfectly on each couch, and I went around the room flinging them pell-mell across the sitting surfaces, so they were disorganized. It looked much more homey that way.

Sitting down, I opened the book to the first chapter, which was presented in a Bohemian-style. Words were not in a rectangular, uniform fashion down the pages. They were jumbled together, much like the Daily Prophet, and had slowly-moving pictures and captions to go with them. I scanned through the first paragraph of chapter one.

_Have you ever wondered what it would be like to foresee events of the future? Or wanted to recall lost pieces of time from the past? For many, this is only a dream, a wish. But for those who study the mystical subject of Divination, it is found that these dreams are actually doorways to reality. One only needs to learn how to open them. Dreams, visions, crystal ball gazing, tea leaves, and palmistry are just a few avenues of unfogging the future, and unraveling the past._

Sighing in haphazard relief, I let myself become lost in the pages filled with information about Divination. I absorbed as much as I could, trying to push out the more troubling thoughts of my past day. I hardly noticed as the rest of my House filed past and headed off to bed. My eyes were getting heavy and itchy with fatigue, but I didn't want to stop reading. I was on the tenth chapter, and if I read the next twenty, I would have finished the entire book.

_Just a little more… one more chapter… _I told myself wearily as I rubbed my eyes, trying to stay awake. The words on the pages were beginning to blur together in small black lines. I blinked slowly, and then kept my eyes closed.

_Just a minute… just to rest my eyes…_

* * *

I felt the pressure of wind blowing across my face. I opened my eyes blearily, squinting in the darkness. Stars glimmered above my head, peaceful and distant. Tall, triangular pine trees cut a skyline through the night, and an owl hooted nearby.

I frowned, pushing myself up into a sitting position. This couldn't be right. I had fallen asleep in the Ravenclaw Common Room. So how was I here now, in the middle of what looked like a forest?

I shivered, a silvery cloud of air billowing out from my mouth. I rubbed my arms, realizing only then how _cold _I was. I looked down, trying to see myself in the darkness. I groped for my wand, which was in my pocket, and whispered, "_Lumos._"

The wand tip ignited at once. The iridescent blue light illuminated my close surroundings. I wasn't wearing my school robes anymore; I was down to just my red plaid dress that I had worn this morning on the way to school. My hair was still braided in a fishtail, but I felt twigs and pine needles stuck in my hair. My heart began to throb, sending pulses of fear through me like ice water.

I sucked in several deep breaths, trying to calm down. _In through the nose, out through the mouth. _I repeated this for a full minute until my racing heart eased back to a normal rhythm. I blinked several times, confused. My vision, which had been obscured by blackness, was now gray. I could clearly see the shapes of coniferous pine trees, the kinds that grew high up in the mountains and wilderness, surrounding me on every side. I could see the details of tall wheat grass and flowers. I seemed to be sitting in some kind of small clearing.

Even though I knew it was dark, I could still see. Everything was in drained gray color. And it clicked: _my eyes_.

Just like when they had turned tawny-amber over the summer, I instinctively knew they had changed again just now. It was a side-effect of becoming an Animagus. And like James had guessed: I was likely turning into some kind of bird, perhaps an owl or an eagle or even a feline. Something that had night vision.

Rising up on my feet, I extinguished my wand with a "_Nox_" and crept through the undergrowth. I had no idea where I was, but the species of pine tree was very similar to the kinds that grew near Hogwarts. Part of me had been entertaining the idea that this was just a dream up until that point, when I froze, my hand on the bark of a pine tree trunk.

_I had been sleepwalking. Again._

I realized I must be somewhere in the Forbidden Forest. I looked around, swallowing hard, making sure that I was alone. Professor Kettleburn had taught us what kinds of creatures lived here last year. Bowtruckles, unicorns, thestrals, centaurs, hippogriffs, griffins, werewolves, and acromantulas, to name a few.

I shivered at the thought of the last two. I had no idea where I was, and knew that my only chance was to either wait to be rescued, or find my way back out.

I had no memory of coming out into the forest in the first place, so I tucked my wand in my belt and began scaling a thickly-branched pine tree. The limbs became thinner and less steady as I climbed, but I didn't need to go too high up. Once I was thirty or so feet off the ground, I turned and faced outward.

It wasn't hard to spot the looming mass of Hogwarts. The castle glinted in the distance, maybe a mile from where I was. It was downhill, and judging by the location of the North Star, it was due west. Smiling faintly, I promised to profusely thank my Care of Magical Creatures professor and my Astronomy professor when I arrived back at the castle. I also knew I needed to heed Lily's advice and talk to Dumbledore right away once I made it back to the castle. The fact that I had managed to leave the school, even with the numerous magical protections placed upon it, marred the excitement of being outdoors. Something was wrong with the enchantments. Worse, something was clearly wrong with _me. _

I shook my head as I started to descend the tree. I hadn't used to enjoy sneaking out until I met James and Sirius. Even now, I was surprised at the lack of worry and panic. Instead, I felt the rush of adrenaline and excitement. I knew it was dangerous to be out here alone, but something else made it heady and addictive.

_Definitely need to talk to Dumbledore, _I thought wryly as I made it to the base of the tree. I pulled my wand back out and said, "_Point Me."_

The ash wand spun and stopped, quivering, pointing north. The thick canopy of trees blocked out any stars or moonlight, but now I knew which way to go to get back to school. I set off confidently, wondering what James and Sirius would say when I told them what I had done in the morning.

I had gone about a quarter-mile when I smelled woodsmoke. I paused, sniffing the air. It was strong, drifting on the stagnant air. I peered through the tall spires of branchless pine trees, trying to make out the source of the smoke, when I heard a distant mumble of voices. They were too far away to distinguish words, but they were unmistakably human.

A new rush of heat surged through me. _What if it was the Slytherins? _What if Avery, Nott, and Regulus (and maybe Snape) had decided to relocate their little meetings to outside the school? Could they have bypassed security too? Was that them now, speaking in the depths of the dark trees?

A part of me warned me that it was bad enough I had woken up in the middle of the Forbidden Forest in the dead of night. It was already bad enough - and a little scary - that my new sleepwalking habit had carried me so far away from the safety of Hogwarts. My better judgment told me this was dangerous and I needed to get back to school. Now.

But then another part of me egged me on. I was already out of school boundaries. I was awake and I could see in the darkness. Why not go investigate? Why not catch the Slytherins in the act of supporting the Dark Arts and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Why not push a little farther, why not get a little closer to the fire?

It wasn't easy, listening to the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. My palms were slick with nervous sweat. I chewed on my lip, uncertain. What did I want to do?

_Do you want to find out what they're up to, or go to the Headmaster?_

I made up my mind in that moment. Ignoring the voice in my head that warned me against it, I changed course and stalked toward the scent of smoke and the sound of voices. It grew stronger and stronger with every step, and my heart pounded a war drum in response.

I could start to catch pieces of conversation and I neared the smell of fire. I heard "soon", "justice", and "Voldemort" as I came closer. I was approaching a ravine and halted at the lip of the edge. It dropped off steeply into a deep gully, where I spotted at least ten people huddled around a large fire. I leaned against a tree, its roots creeping down the side of the ravine. Then, without warning, as if someone had shut off a lightswitch, my vision blacked out.

I blinked several times. The bright and gray view I had seen was gone. Now, my eyes picked up what normal, dull eyes could: hardly anything. Being this deep into the Forbidden Forest meant it was nearly pitch-black. I fought against a rise of panic climbing the ladder of my spine. I could see what the fire illuminated with dull brass light, but everything around me was as black as obsidian.

I was in the dark again.

Before I could start to kick for myself for making this stupid decision, a huge man approached the flames. I could see him clearly from my vantage point. He was tall, burly, and his figure was strangely familiar. I was trying to place him when he spread his large hands and spoke in a deep, harsh, rasping tone that made my mouth fall open.

I had heard this "person" talk in the kitchen of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place over a year ago. It was the voice of Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf who had attacked Remus.

"Greetings, my brothers and sisters." Fenrir rasped, his voice carrying up the curved walls of the ravine to me. "I am pleased to see that you have all made it here safely tonight."

There was a chorus of mutters and what sounded like growls. I felt the hair rising on the back of my neck. Who _were _those people down there? I definitely didn't recognize anyone my age, or who was young enough to attend Hogwarts.

"Most of what you have heard is true." He growled. "The Dark Lord is looking for new recruits. Many of you remember three years ago when we came to us in the woods during our meeting under the half-moon. He offered us freedom in exchange for pledging allegiance to him."

A man leapt to his feet. "He lies! This isn't the first time he's offered something with no intent to return."

Several muttered agreement. Greyback gave a harsh barking laugh.

"Name one instance of that, McLaren." Greyback challenged. "Name one time when the Dark Lord recanted or didn't make good upon his promise."

The man, McLaren, hesitated. "I've been told by others…"

Greyback ignored him. "For all of our lives, we've been held back in the world by wizards and Muggles alike. It's time for our kind to come forth in the world."

"Of course, you aren't talking about just yourselves, are you?" A cold voice demanded, and I felt my legs go weak.

_What was Mulciber doing down there?_

The former Slytherin had shaved his hair nearly to his scalp. Several tattoos covered where bare skin had once been, and he looked ten years older than when I had last seen him. At the sound of his voice, my head began to throb. It was the same vice-like grip that had plagued me on King's Cross Station.

I stifled a moan and bit my lip, trying to listen to the group in the ravine. It was important that I relay the information to Dumbledore, whatever it was.

After a solid minute of keeping myself from crying out in pain, new words drifted to me from the ravine. Greyback was speaking again.

"...we aren't expecting overnight success, but the Dark Lord has a plan. He's already been successful in disrupting the lives of wizards and Muggles alike. He's building an army to take back what is ours."

A sound like a war cry rose from the people gathered by the fire. Goosebumps erupted across my flesh.

"Pledge your loyalty to the Dark Lord!" Greyback roared, and a second howl of agreement rose from the group. "And you _will _be rewarded!"

"Wait!" A harsh female voice cut across the feral din. "I think there's someone here. I can smell human."

I was watching Mulciber and the back of his shaved head, jolted by fear at the woman's proclamation, when I felt a curious sensation spreading throughout my body. Instead of fear and pain, I felt light and dreamy. I shook my head, confused, as the sensation spread.

_Come out of the shadows… come into the ravine… _

_No. _I thought clumsily, as I heard the group grow quiet. I heard a snuffling noise, but felt strangely indifferent to the sound.

"I smell a human ttoo." Greyback growled. "A female."

_Come into the ravine… we have warmth. _The voice in my head urged.

I panted, part of me fighting back against the voice. _No… no. I can't. It's dangerous._

_We won't hurt you. Come down._

There was a sharp gasp. "I think… no. I think it's that girl. The one that Folsom's after!"

There was a loud commotion. I could feel myself push away from the tree, take a few steps toward the edge of the ravine. Below, the ten people were jumping to their feet, sniffing the air, some with wands out.

_Get down here. Come down, and you'll feel nothing but bliss. Come down._

I extended a leg over the edge of the ravine. The heat from the fire touched my skin, chased away the chill of the forest. _Just a few more steps… come into the light where I can see you…_

"Don't do it." A quiet voice whispered in my ear. I turned, confused, and saw the grayish outline of a young man floating inches above the ground. My mouth fell open slightly. The shimmering, translucent figure gave off an unearthly chill. I had seen many just like him at school. It was a ghost.

"Don't do it." The ghost repeated.

I shook my head fiercely. _I won't!  
_The blissful feeling dissolved. Fear and realization rushed back full-force, and I backed against the darkness of the tree, hiding myself from the view of the people below in the ravine. I was starting to realize now the magnitude of the danger I had put myself in. My heart hammered painfully against my ribs, and I was sure the ghost could hear the frantic beating of life within me as I scrambled to make a getaway plan.

The ghost hovered above the ground, regarding me with blank eyes. They were like the windows of an abandoned house, vacant and hollow. I had seen him before somewhere, a long time ago. My mind stretched, trying to reach the memory.

"I know you." I said slowly, keeping my voice down. "I saw you… back in the Common Room. In my first year. You made the lights go out. You frightened me."

The young man merely looked at me. "Yes."

I swallowed against the dryness in my throat. "Why are you here? What's your name?"

The ghost didn't reply. He silently drifted past, floating through the trees like they weren't there.

I bit my lip. I could hear the people in the ravine scattering, coming to look for me. I had to make a decision now: did I follow the ghost, or find my own way back to school?

Something about the ghost made me trust him. Maybe because he'd brought me out of whatever trance I'd been in. I tried not to dwell on the thought that it could have been the Imperius Curse. But hadn't that been the symptoms, as Professor Smith had described them?

"Someone's up there!" A male voice said sharply. "I can smell her! On that side!"

"Get her! Bring her down alive!" Mulciber's voice cut through my frozen body, and I pelted after the ghost, who was drifting farther away like a comet sailing through the night sky.

I didn't care about the noise I was making. I leapt over fallen logs and let twigs slap my face. All I cared about was putting as much distance between me and the group of Lord Voldemort's supporters as possible.

I could hear them, distantly, crashing through the undergrowth, yelling to each other. I hurtled after the ghost, who was moving astonishingly fast, through the blackness of the Forest. The faint light that he gave off just enough illumination so that I could avoid trees, but not enough to keep me from getting scratched by brambles and thorns.

Without warning, I found myself smacking into a wall of solid air. I was thrown backwards onto my bottom, my lip already swelling and bleeding. I stared up in disbelief.

_The protective enchantments. _Clearly, it was possible to leave Hogwarts, but to enter meant something completely different.

I couldn't hear anyone behind me, but that didn't mean I was alone. Frantically, I banged on the invisible wall with both fists. "Let me in!" I begged to no one in particular. "Please! Help!"

But no one came. Even though I was on the edge of the forest, right near the fringe of grass, I was locked out.

I leaned against the wall, shaking. What was I going to do? I couldn't stay the night out here. Not when I had been discovered by supporters of the Dark Lord. Especially when Mulciber and Greyback were in the ranks.

I was about to formulate a new plan when I heard a snapping noise from the depths of the darkness. I peered over my shoulder, my wand gripped tightly in my hand. I could feel a cold drop of sweat sliding down my back between my shoulder blades. If I had to, I would fight my way out. Even if I had to duel to the death.

And then inspiration struck. If I couldn't get through the protective enchantments, did the same hold true for something else? Something like... a Patronus?

I focused on the moment I had won my first Quidditch game with the Ravenclaw Team. And then, because I was desperate, I added a twist to the memory: Remus kissing me.

"_Expecto Patronum_." I whispered into the darkness. A huge silver griffin burst from the end of my wand and soared through the air, coming to stand before me. It was over three feet taller than my head.

"Go tell whoever you can find that I need help. Tell… tell Dumbledore! Or anyone who can help. I'm trapped outside the castle in the Forest and I think I'm about to be attacked." Even as I said the words, a cold jolt of fear shot from my head to my feet. The griffin soared through the protective barrier and away into the castle.

I watched it go, feeling strangely alone now, when I heard another snapping noise. It was much closer than the first one. Wishing I had James' Invisibility Cloak, I dropped to my knees and crawled through the underbrush to hide myself behind a large stump. I missed the Patronus's company. It had been vibrant and light, bringing a sense of security and peace. But I knew it was better than I had sent it away for help rather than have it linger here, giving away my location to anyone who could see its bright light through the thick shroud of black trees.

I didn't hear any more snapping noises. After a minute of silence, there was a soft hoot of an owl and then the distant howl of a wolf. I shivered in the cold and counted the seconds ticking by.

A light shivered near the base of the castle. I crouched lower, keeping myself hidden, my wand clutched tightly in my hand. I hardly dared to breath. The only sound now was the thundering beat of my pulse in my ears. The light came closer, and I realized it was an ignited wand tip. The carrier halted ten feet from me, the iridescent blue light illuminating her face. Dark eyes swept out like searchlights into the shadowy forest, and I knew I had to reveal myself.

Every protective instinct screamed in protest, but I forced myself to stand up. The young woman carrying the wand signaled for me to come forward. I did, hurrying, not wanting to stay in the dangerous forests any longer. I felt the air shimmer as I passed through; Mara had clearly undone whatever enchantments had been put into place so that I could come back inside.

"Well," Mara said coolly as I re-entered Hogwarts, her breath billowing out in smoky clouds of mist, "I'd ask how you got out here, but you won't tell me, will you?"

I pursed my lips, still trembling from a mixture of adrenaline and cold. "I need to talk to Dumbledore."

Mara smirked, shaking her head slightly. "You know, for a Ravenclaw, you aren't very wise. You seem like you cause a lot of trouble. Sneaking out across the grounds after hours, wandering through the Forbidden Forest hours after being attacked by a dementor… I'm impressed."

I felt annoyance at her amusement as we walked in tandem back to the castle. Even though she was only twenty-two, I felt safer in her presence, as if she was a much more formidable witch than I'd originally given her credit for. After all, hadn't Dumbledore said he'd conducted a wide search for a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? Mara must have been an exceptional witch to quality for the position, especially in such uncertain times.

"I guess I should expect to be chided by my professor." I said drilly as we walked over the lawns. "Considering you were a prefect and a Head Girl."

To my surprise, Mara let out a laugh. "That would be Professor Smith _Senior_. I wasn't a prefect or Head Girl."

I frowned, puzzled. "Why not?"

"My Head of House said I lacked certain qualities needed for the job." Mara said casually as we ascended the stone steps leading into the castle.

"Like what?" I asked, intrigued.

"Like the ability to behave myself." Mara said brightly.

I laughed. So maybe Mara wasn't like her mother. Willow Smith had been straightlaced and somber. Mara seemed sarcastic, witty, and enthusiastic.

"Who was Head of Hufflepuff in your time?" I asked her as we wended our way through the dark and deserted corridors toward Dumbledore's office. Now that I was back inside the safety and warmth of the castle, I felt my strength and wits returning to me.

Mara snickered. "I wasn't in Hufflepuff. My mother was, and so was my cousin, Sean. He fancies you very much, you know. Don't look at me like that, it's obvious to anyone!" She laughed at my stricken expression.

"Wait." I said slowly. "What do you mean you weren't in Hufflepuff? Which House were you in?"

Mara tossed her long sweep of dark brown hair over one shoulder. Her green eyes were so dark they almost looked black. "Slytherin."

I stopped. I couldn't help it. I stared at her, completely shocked. Of all the Houses, that had been the absolute last one I had expected Professor Smith's daughter to be in.

"Oh, don't give me that look." Mara said sharply, raising her brow. "Not all Slytherins are bad, you know. We get a bad rap, but Merlin was a Slytherin. And Professor Slughorn. He's brilliant. The most brilliant Potions master of the century, if you ask me. Oh, come on, Amber. Don't look at me like I'm some kind of monster."

I tried to rearrange my face into a softer expression. "I'm… sorry." I managed. "I just didn't expect…"

Mara shrugged. "Eh. Common reaction. Slytherin's had its fair share of Dark wizards, but it's a House that focuses on ambition, cunning, resourcefulness, and self-preservation. Do you really think I'm going to run after You-Know-Who just because I'm a Slytherin?"

"Well… no." I admitted.

Mara flashed a smile. "Good. It's easy to judge us, but it comes with the territory. Oh, here we are." She said brightly, and I realized we had come to stand before the stone gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office.

I realized then, how late the hour must be, and felt a surge of shame. "I didn't… I hope I'm not waking him." I said lamely.

Mara made a noise. "I don't think it really matters. He's the boss. Getting woken up in the middle of the night should be in the job description. Pepper imps." She added, and the gargoyle sprang aside.

I followed her up the winding stone staircase into Dumbledore's cathedral-like office. The portraits of former Headmasters and Headmistresses snored in their sleep behind his desk. Dumbledore was standing in front of a podium, his back to us. Fawkes the phoenix gave a low, musical cry and soared from his golden perch to my shoulder. I held stock-still, unsure of what to do. His warm weight was strangely comforting, and I hesitantly lifted a hand to stroke his brilliant feathers.

"I found her, Professor." Mara informed the Headmaster, who turned at the sound of her voice. His electric-blue eyes pierced me, and I felt a second wave of embarrassment and shame.

"Thank you, Mara." He said. "I received your Patronus, Amber. May I say I am very impressed with the fact that you were able to conjure a corporeal Patronus in addition to having it relay a message for you. I'll be speaking with Professor Flitwick about your Charms work."

I shuffled on my feet, unsure of what to say.

Dumbledore nodded to Mara. "Good night, Mara."

Mara gave a small wave. "Good night, Professor." She gave me a half-stern, half-amused expression as she swept out of the room, leaving us alone.

The silence was suddenly as thick as cold custard. I wanted to tell Dumbledore what had happened, but I was still perplexed as to how I had even managed to skirt the security measures around the castle in the first place.

Dumbledore spread his hands. "Why don't you have a seat."

I sat.

The Headmaster moved behind his desk, conjuring a ceramic teapot and two teacups. I remembered Professor Smith doing the exact same thing last year in her office, after Mulciber had used the Cruciatus Curse on me.

"I know the hour is late," Dumbledore said in a conversational tone, "but I always feel that a proper cup of tea can soothe the mind and the body. Would you care for some?"

I nodded. "Yes, please." Fawkes nuzzled my cheek as I spoke, and I stroked his crimson plumage in response. This seemed to be what the phoenix had wanted, since he started to hum a low melody that filled the room with soft music.

Dumbledore poured two steaming mugs of tea. It smelled like lavender. I took my cup gratefully, the hot cup warming my cold hands. I noticed, for the first time, how filthy my hands were. Black was encrusted underneath the nails. Cuts stung on my cheek and exposed skin. I had just run through the Forbidden Forest, and I probably looked like a complete mess. I tried to help my unkempt appearance by redoing my braid, but I had never learned how, and instead let the wild tangles spring free and hang down my back.

"Tell me what happened tonight." Dumbledore prompted, and I felt as if my tongue had tied itself in knots. I took a sip of tea and nearly scalded my mouth.

"It was… strange." I began uncertainly, unable to meet his electric blue gaze. "I fell asleep in the Ravenclaw Common Room, but then I woke up in the middle of the Forest. I don't know how I got there."

Dumbledore listened impassively as I recounted navigating my way through the dark trees and stumbled upon the rogue group of Dark Arts supporters. I included the appearance of the ghost, but left out the fact that I could see in the dark (thanks to my ongoing transition into becoming an Animagus).

"And then Mara brought me to your office." I finished, my cup of tea almost gone. Dumbledore refilled it for me. He sat for awhile, steepling his fingers together, his expression unreadable.

"Is that it?" He asked quietly.

I blinked. "Yes, I suppose so, sir."

His electric blue eyes pierced me. "Have you been having any more nightmares or dreams that you can't explain?"

I stared at him, feeling the blood draining from my face. "There was something. On the train. I saw things I've never seen before when that thing - that dementor - showed up. I saw my own worst memories, but then there were… other things."

Dumbledore nodded. "Would you confide in me what exactly you saw?"

I hesitated, unwilling to rehash the gore of what I'd seen. But Lily had insisted I tell Dumbledore, if I didn't tell anyone else.

I took a deep breath, my fists clenched in my lap. "I saw two dead men. One was hanging from a tree. The other had his throat cut. And then I saw a dead woman. There was another man, crying over her. And I saw… I saw Angelina."

Dumbledore's face remained impassive. I swallowed, sensing that he wanted me to continue.

"I don't know why I saw any of them. I found Angelina, but she was looking at me like… well, like _I'd _been the one who killed her."

My words dropped to the ground, heavy as stones. Dumbledore poured another cup of tea for the both of us and sipped before answering.

"Can you remember any detail of what those other people looked like? What they were wearing, what they looked like?"

I frowned. So far, I had not. I squinted, trying to remember, but it was all a flash in my mind. I couldn't make it stay still.

"I'm sorry, Amber. I should have made my meaning clear. You can siphon your memory from your mind with your wand and we can view it in the Pensieve." He pointed to a shimmering basin full of silvery water in the corner, a partition partially blocking it from view.

I blanched. "How do I do that, sir?"

Dumbledore withdrew his own wand and tapped the tip to his temple. "Focus on what you are trying to do. Let the memory flow. Once it releases, bring it to the Pensieve and drop it in."

"Are you going to watch my memory with me, sir?" I said uncertainly.

Dumbledore merely looked at me. "Surely there is nothing you wish to hide from me?"

I felt a flash of indignation. "Of course not, sir."

Dumbledore watched as I pressed my ash wand to the side of forehead. I felt a twinge of trepidation at the task, but closed my eyes and focused on what I had dreamt. When it was clearly in my mind's eye, I gently and very slowly moved the wand away from my forehead. I felt nothing.

"Very good." Dumbledore said softly, and when I opened my eyes at his voice, I realized there was a long strand of silvery light attached to the tip of my wand.

Moving as if I was holding a grenade, I ambled over to the Pensieve and hesitantly gave the wand a small flick. The strand of silver light fluttered to the surface of the shimmering water and began to swirl very fast.

Dumbledore approached the basin, the ghostly light reflecting on his lined face. "Shall we?"

I nodded, hand twitching at my side. I did not want to see my ghastly nightmare again, but didn't know how to tell Dumbledore this.

As if reading my mind, the Headmaster's blue gaze connected with mine over the Pensieve. "You do not need to accompany me, Amber. You may wait here."

Relief washed through me. "Thank you, sir."

Dumbledore gave a small smile and plunged his face into the water. Fawkes gave a low cry and ruffled his long feathers, his warmth expanding into my body. I waited nervously for him to resurface.

It felt like an hour had passed by the time Dumbledore pulled his face away from the Pensieve, but when I glanced at the clock in the corner, barely five minutes had eclipsed. Without looking at me, he walked back to his desk and paced restlessly behind it.

I knew this wasn't a good sign. Chewing my lower lip, I approached his desk, unnerved. "Professor?"

Dumbledore looked like he was in deep thought. He crossed his hands behind his back, pacing and pacing.

"Is this the first time you've dreamt of those people?" He asked. "The two dead men and the dead woman? Not Miss Azadian?"

"The first time I've dreamt about the men, yeah." I told him uneasily. "But not the woman. I've dreamt about her before. Sir, I saw them on the train too, during the dementor attacks. Why? I don't understand."

Dumbledore let out a small sigh. "I'm afraid I do not have an answer for you, Miss Harkstone. However," he said at my crestfallen expression, "I will be asking Madam Pomfrey to prescribe something for you to sleep and not sleepwalk. I can't have you wandering about the castle after curfew, especially if your dreams take you into the dangers of the Forbidden Forest."

I grinned sheepishly. It felt like he had everything under control, that I no longer had anything to worry about. "I suppose I should see her now?"

"No," Dumbledore said thoughtfully, pulling on his long silver beard. "Since it is nearly morning, I would daresay you'll be able to stay awake until breakfast. But I would like for you to see her before bed tomorrow. Understood?"

I was surprised that he hadn't taken points from Ravenclaw for my sleepwalking. In fact, if anything, Dumbledore wasn't even giving me a slap on the wrist. Then again, it wasn't really my fault that I was sleepwalking. It was purely subconscious.

Then again… the fact that I was sleepwalking and had intruded upon the Dark Lord's supporters seemed frightening enough without adding punishment to it. I shivered, trying not to think about what would have happened if any of them had caught me, especially Greyback or Mulciber.

"You may go." Dumbledore said, moving toward one of his many curious silver instruments displayed throughout the room. "Mara is waiting to escort you back to Ravenclaw Tower by the gargoyle."

I hesitated at the door. Even though I knew he had seen it and not mentioned it, Angelina persisted in my mind.

"Sir," I said quietly, "how did Angelina die? They never told us in the Daily Prophet."

Dumbledore touched a spindly, many-legged instrument that tinkled to life. "The Killing Curse was used on her."

I felt a thrill of horror run up my spine. "Then… it was quick? And painless? She didn't feel anything?"

Dumbledore looked over at me now, and again, I felt pinned by his electric blue gaze. "No one knows for sure. No one has ever survived the Killing Curse."

I shuffled once on my feet. A strange feeling of guilt nagged at my conscious, but I couldn't understand why. "I wish I could have saved her. She shouldn't have died."

Dumbledore nodded once, looking tired and sad. "Good night, Miss Harkstone."

Recognizing a dismissal, I turned to descend the spiral staircase. Fawkes nuzzled my ear once with his warm beak and flew back to his brass perch. Despite the lateness of the hour, I felt wide-awake and as if my mind was overflowing with what I had seen both in dreams and in reality.

Mara was waiting for me at the gargoyle, just as Dumbledore had promised. She raised a brow at my expression.

"He's a funny one, isn't he?" Mara said critically as we began the walk back to Ravenclaw Tower. "Brilliant and powerful, but I've always found him to be a little weird."

"Yeah, I guess." I answered automatically. I felt trapped by my own mind. A shiver of horror crawled up my arms. If I wasn't able to tell the difference between dreams and reality, then where was I safe? I was a prisoner in my own mind and body.

"Hey." Mara said seriously, halting. "I know I'm a teacher now and everything, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. Something tells me you've got a lot more on your mind than just boys."

I smiled wryly. "Thanks, but I think I should just get to bed."

"Suit yourself." Mara said indifferently. "Just know the offer is there. Oh, and you might want these." She said as she conjured several small glass vials in midair and handed them to me.

"Why in Merlin's beard would I want these?" I said increduously.

Mara rolled her dark green eyes. "You're supposed to be a Ravenclaw. No? Okay. Well, if you need to unburden your mind, you can always take those thoughts from your mind and put them away in these vials for later."

I remembered the subtle relief I'd felt after extracting a memory for Dumbledore. "Oh. Well, thanks."

"Don't mention it." She peered closely at me, reminding me so much of her mother that I almost called her Willow. "You know, you really shouldn't worry so much. Everything's going to work out for the best. And I agree that Remus is cute, but I think you and my cousin would work out much better."

I gaped at her, my face reddening like a tomato. "_Excuse _me?"

Mara grinned shamelessly. "I should probably mention that I'm a really good Legilimens. Probably one of the best in the world. I'm not trying to brag, it's just a fact. Mum says I'm a better Legilimens than Dumbledore."

I continued to stare, feeling the color draining away from my face. "How… I don't…"

"Passing my O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.s were easy." Mara went on slyly as we approached the Tower. "I could answer most of the questions easily, but if I was stumped, all I had to do was use Legilimency against someone who knew what they were doing and I passed."

"Why are you telling me this?" I managed weakly. "You could get in trouble for cheating!"

Mara chuckled. "Oh, I don't think so. They quiz you on academia, but I think you're also being tested for how well you can use magic. That's what we're all learning here at Hogwarts, anyway. This is your stop."

I looked up at the winding black staircase and clutched the glass bottles a little tighter. I gave Mara an apprehensive look, still a little suspicious of her enthusiastic demeanor. Even though she looked very much like her mother, her bright and sly personality clashed with Professor Smith's straight-laced and formal facade.

"Good night, Amber." Mara said as I started climbing. "Don't forget to check for ghosts! Peeves can be downright nasty."

I waved once in acknowledgement. More than anything, I wanted to follow her advice and rid my overburdened mind of its turbulent thoughts. I didn't want to think about what I had accidentally witnessed in the Forest, or about the dead men and woman in my dreams. Most of all, I wanted to know why Angelina Azadian haunted me so much, when I'd had nothing to do with her death.

_I only found her. _I thought to myself, pushing away the remnants of guilt that nipped at my mind. _I didn't have anything to do with her death. We dueled, but that was all. Her death isn't my fault. _

_Right_?


	54. Ghost Stories

**You guys are seriously THE BEST! Your reviews inspire me to continue with this story and give it all I've got to finish it. There's some very interesting/game-changing events coming for the Marauders, and this is when we really start to wonder WHY things have happened the way they did and how Amber and the boys will handle the rising of the Dark Lord. The plot thickens... As always I look forward to hearing your responses and reviews :) 3 Y'all are the BEST! **

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**EUGENIA JENKINS RESIGNS: NEW MINISTER FOR MAGIC HAROLD MINCHUM SWORN IN**

_Eugenia Jenkins, the British Prime Minister for Magic since 1968, has stepped down from her post last night, after being deemed inadequate by critics to handle the uprising of the Dark Lord._

_Jenkins was replaced by Harold Minchum, who has worked for the Ministry of Magic Auror Office for the past nineteen years. Minchum gave a speech following his inauguration early this morning in an exclusive interview with the Daily Prophet._

_"Following the number of incidents directed at both Muggles and magic-folk alike, including on children in the unforgivable attacks on Platform 9 ¾ last September, the attack at Hogwarts this past June, and this most recent attack on the Hogwarts Express has led me into the position of Minister." Minchum said. "I want the Wizarding community to know that my past two decades worth of experience in dealing with Dark wizards will empower us to snuff out this Dark Lord and his followers, known as the Death Eaters. We have already regained control over the dementors that attacked the Hogwarts Express and returned them to their rightful posts at Azkaban. In addition, we have placed more dementors around the prison in order to hold those who have been convicted of Dark magic. There is a cell inside with the Dark Lord's name waiting for him."_

_Minchum is viewed by his critics as a hard-liner, and his promised implementation of more dementors around Azkaban has been met with both support and disagreement. Jenkins was unavailable for comment concerning her departure, but Barty Crouch, Head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement, has shown great enthusiasm for the newest Minister for Magic._

_"Minchum is a fighter." Crouch said to Daily Prophet reporter Willy Wagstaff. "He'll fight fire with fire. Minchum is exactly the kind of driving force we need in these coming days of uncertainty and war on the Dark Arts."_

I set down the paper as I reached for a crumpet. It seemed that everyone in the school had already heard the news. Last night, while most people slept, Eugenia Jenkins had been ousted from office and Harold Minchum had taken over. The Great Hall buzzed with activity. Even the staff were talking animatedly amongst each other, hands in the air and voices raised.

"I hope this one makes it." Lily said as she ate her bagel. "I can't imagine many people who would want the job in this state of things."

"Dad said that Barty Crouch wanted it." Remus said in an offhand tone. "Really badly. But I guess now he's throwing his support behind Minchum since he didn't get it."

I remembered Crouch from the past spring, when he had grilled me about the impending attack on Hogwarts. I set down my glass of pumpkin juice more forcefully than necessary, startling Lily.

"I hope he's what we need." I muttered. "Crouch manhandles."

"Maybe that's what we need." Lily mused as she wiped up a few spots of pumpkin juice that I had splashed onto the table. I glared at her, affronted.

"The last thing we need is another weak-willed pacifist." Lily argued, her green eyes sparkling defensive. "I think we ought to have someone willing to fight, don't you?"

"I guess." I said brittlely, sipping pumpkin juice as Remus's owl Percival fluttered down, a letter tied to his leg.

"It's from Mum," Remus said after reading the first lines. "She's really worried. She's a Muggle, so she doesn't really understand magic too well. She wants me to come home."

I pinned him with my gaze. "You aren't going to leave?"

Remus shook his head, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. "No, of course not. Hogwarts is at safe as any place."

"Maybe." Lily said drilly. "I mean, it's already been attacked three times."

"I'd rather be where Dumbledore is." Remus retorted in a collected voice. "He's the only wizard You-Know-Who ever feared."

I half-listened to them banter as I glanced through the rest of the Daily Prophet. Not many other students had a daily subscription to the post, so very few others were actually reading through the rest of the news. There was a small article in the Sports section mentioning the upcoming dates of all Quidditch matches for Britain's teams, including the Falmouth Falcons. I remembered the tickets Mara had given me to see any Montrose Magpies games and wondered if she'd let me trade them to see Sean play.

I hadn't spoken to Sean since my birthday. He'd sent letters, but I'd responded with minimal interest and detail. I was determined to enforce the line I had drawn with him and Remus. Neither seemed too deterred by my boundaries. It was both flattering and annoying to have two boys share a rivalry over me, mostly because I never expected a guy to like me in that way. Especially two guys.

I shut my eyes, rubbing my temples as a slight headache pulsed between my eyes. I hadn't slept much at all last night and could now feel the cost of that choice coming to reap the consequences. My eyes were itchy and my whole body felt heavy. I wanted nothing more than to lay down on the floor of the Great Hall and sleep, but the fear of sleepwalking and of nightmares frightened me enough to keep me awake.

I didn't know what I was going to do about the whole Remus-or-Sean situation. I was burdened enough with schoolwork and my family's constant drama without adding a romantic relationship to it. I was afraid that I would snap under all of the pressure and let out a soft moan of despair. The notion of facing a whole year of this combined stress made me want to run away from Hogwarts and back to the simplicity of my family's farmhouse. Even worse, O.W.L.S. were only one year away, and then N.E.W.T.-level examinations. I sagged forward onto my elbows, fighting the urge to cry. It was just too much.

"Amber?" Lily asked gently, concerned. "Are you alright?"

I bit my lip before answering, fighting to control the burning in my throat that always warned of incoming tears. "I'm… fine." I lied.

"Have some tea." Remus encouraged. "Trust me, it'll help."

Miserably, I accepted the small cup of brown tea he offered. It smelled like chamomile and lavender. I drank gratefully, melting the hot swell of tears in my throat and filling me with a soothing warmth that took the edge off of the mounting stress.

"Maybe you should take the day off." Lily suggested. "You had a really bad reaction to the dementor yesterday, and last night you didn't sleep at all. I'm sure the professors would give you time to finish your coursework later. You're an exemplary student, second only to me."

"And me." Remus added with an amused tinge to his voice.

I smiled briefly, shaking my head wistfully. "I can't. I don't want to miss the first day of classes. That's when they talk about what's coming in the school year."

"Oh, come on, Amber." Lily sighed, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "All they do is talk about the syllabus and they always let us out early. You won't miss much if you take today off. Plus, we can tell you what's coming later. Rest."

"I agree with Lily." Remus said, and I turned to give him a look of disgust. He blinked his leaf-green eyes at me innocently. "You need to rest."

"Traitor." I muttered blackly as I took another deep sip of tea. "You're taking her side to gang up on me."

"Tough love never hurt anyone." Lily said cheerfully. "I'll have Madam Pomfrey write you a note. In fact, you should go there right now."

"And why would I do that?" I demanded.

Lily made an annoyed noise. "To sleep? I'm sure she'd give you a good Sleeping Draught. No sleepwalking, no nightmares. Just sleep. Come on, Amber. You need it. You'll feel much better."

Remus nodded in enthusiastic agreement. "It's not like you'll be missing much."

I rolled my eyes, annoyed. "Fine. I'll skive off classes today and rest. Happy?"

"Ecstatic." Lily said cheerfully. James and Sirius were coming towards us. Today, Remus and Lily had joined me at Ravenclaw's table, and I saw a few of my fellow Housemates throw irritated looks at the incoming Gryffindors. Lily noticed too and jumped up from the table, leaving behind her half-eaten bagel.

"I should get to class." She said briskly, brushing her long hair with her hand. "I'll tell Professor Sprout that you're ill, Amber. Make sure you go see Madam Pomfrey."

She left. James and Sirius alighted on the bench moments after she departed. James frowned, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"Where was the fire?" He asked casually, helping himself to the other half of her bagel.

I watched him with a mixture of pity and amusement. "She wanted to make a good impression with our Herbology professor. We have it with the Hufflepuffs first-thing."

James blinked owlishly at me. "Blimey, you look awful."

"Thanks." I said dryly. "Talk like that to the ladies and you'll definitely win them over."

James shrugged and took a hearty bite of bagel. "So, what happened last night? Remus said you had a night-time excursion."

"Without us." Sirius added accusingly. "You know, it's the five Marauders, not the one female Marauder."

"Oh, yeah," I replied tartly, "because I always make sure to sleepwalk without inviting my friends to come along with me. I'm so sorry."

"Guys," Remus said in a cajoling tone, drinking his tea and half-reading the Daily Prophet I'd put down, "relax."

"It's not my fault that Lionheart didn't get her beauty sleep." James shot back.

"She doesn't need sleep to be beautiful." Remus said lightly, and I felt a blush work its way up into my sallow cheeks. "But I'm sure she didn't mean to make you feel left out."

"I can speak for myself." I told him as Peter perched beside James and Sirius, unusually withdrawn and scared-looking.

"Anyway," Sirius said, stroking Percival's feathers as the owl helped himself to a bowl of unattended cornflakes, "we should start thinking about our first meeting now that we're back. Shrieking Shack tonight around nine?"

"Not tonight." Remus said. "Amber's sick."

"Are you?" James said doubtfully.

"No, I'm just tired." I responded waspishly, getting seriously annoyed. I hardly had the patience to deal with him and Sirius when I had a good night's sleep and my wits about me. Right now, I was one more snide comment away from jinxing them both.

"Too much reading?" Sirius guessed.

"Not really." I said. "I'll tell you about it later. Tonight's fine, by the way, I'm going to sleep all day, so I'll be awake for tonight. Nine, you said?"

"Yeah." James said, watching me with a bemused expression. "You do look very pretty today, Amber."

A flush jumped from my stomach into my face. "Excuse me?"

James smiled innocently. "What? You said being honest wouldn't work with the ladies. This tact produced a much better reaction. Thanks for being my test subject, Lionheart."

I gripped my wand so tightly my fingers cramped. Remus laid a hand on my arm, shaking his head. "Not this early, Amber, you'll put him in the hospital wing."

I glared down at James, who was grinning now. "Just wait, Potter. Keep it up."

"Always here to serve." James gave a tiny bow. Sirius snickered.

I turned and smiled down briefly at Remus, seized with a sudden and strong urge to kiss him goodbye. I fought it and instead said, "I'll see you tonight" and left the table.

I shook my head as I exited the Great Hall, a roiling storm of emotions blowing about inside of me. Remus said he didn't want to be more than friends. But I knew we both liked each other much more than in just a friendly, platonic way. I wanted to be with him, to be more than just his friend. And I knew, instinctively, that he felt the same way too, even if he denied it.

And wouldn't it be a good match? We were both best friends. He understood me in ways that not even Lily could fathom. He understood suffering and pain. Lily tried to, but hadn't had the personal experience as I had. Remus did. His ill-fated relationship with Angelina had cemented my desire to be with him, but what was the point if he didn't want to get closer? It didn't help that my love for him was only getting stronger with each passing day. It was getting harder to deny my feelings for him.

Angelina. Her name brought back the ghastly image of her body lying in the Forbidden Forest and the accusing finger she pointed right at me. I shivered and rubbed my arms, looking down at the threshold of the Great Hall where we had brawled last year, after she'd kissed Remus in front of me for spite. What would have happened if she was still alive? Would they have gotten back together? Would Angelina and I have repaired our broken friendship?

I paused in mid-step. I could go back to the now-empty Ravenclaw Tower and face another nightmare-filled sleep, or stay awake and try and find some answers. Who was that ghost that I had seen last night and all those years ago during my first night at Hogwarts? Surely, other ghosts must have known him.

And maybe… maybe he would be able to tell me why Angelina haunted my dreams. Why those two men did, and the dead woman. Dumbledore hadn't provided any satisfactory answers. But maybe my answers concerning the dead couldn't be found among the living.

Besides, I owed the mysterious boy ghost a huge thank-you for last night. He had very well likely saved my life.

Instead of walking toward Ravenclaw Tower, I changed course and set off for the lower levels of the castle, in search of any ghost I could find.

But there were no ghosts around. It was still too early for classes, so the halls were deserted as I walked through them, my footfalls echoing eerily back to me. Dark clouds rolled overhead outside the windows; it looked like another stormy day at Hogwarts.

The air was colder as I descended two levels. After drinking a cup of pumpkin juice and tea, my bladder was protesting. I pushed the door open to the girl's lavatories and stepped inside the first stall. The lavatory had a distinctly-neglected air about it. I noticed green mossing growing on the floor and spots of mildew on the toilet paper. I wondered when someone had last used the facilities. It clearly had been a long time, maybe even years.

When I was washing my hands, I dared to look at my reflection. I gave a small gasp of despair. My face was the color of ashy snow, and purple-like bruises circled underneath my sunken brown eyes. No longer bright and shiny, they were dull and glassy like marbles. My hair was as crazy as usual, in wild honey-blonde tresses that had coined my nickname Lionheart. I looked like a vampire.

I looked like Folsom.

I pinched at my sallow cheeks, trying to bring color back into them, when a girl's voice said, "Oh, I don't think that'll do much good."

I turned, startled, and found myself facing the translucent figure of a schoolgirl sitting on top of a stall. She looked to be around my age, with glasses like James' and a hairstyle that hadn't been popular in at least three decades. She nibbled at a finger absently as I stared at her, trying to pick out more identifying features.

"Who are you?" I asked warily, my wet hands gripping the porcelain basin of the sink.

The ghost raised her bushy brows. "Who are you? And what are you doing in my bathroom?"

"Your bathroom?" I echoed. "Actually, it's the school's bathroom…"

The ghost looked extremely offended. "It's my bathroom! I died in here, so it's my place! And what are you even doing here? Come to mock me?"

I made a noise of disbelief. "I had to pee. You know, something that happens after you drink something and it goes through your kidneys?"

The ghost rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's really nice. Speaking to me about living things. Hmpf! I'd say you were a Slytherin because you're so obtuse, but I see you're wearing blue, so you must be a Ravenclaw."

I raised my brows. I noticed, for the first time, the eagle emblem on the lapel of her tweed jacket. The girl glared down at me, folding her arms.

"Well?" She demanded haughtily, her voice shrill with indignation. "What are you staring at?"

"You were a Ravenclaw." I observed.

The girl hesitated. She was so surprised that she forgot to look offended. "Oh?"

"What's your name?" I pressed.

She picked at a spot on her chin. "Myrtle. Not that you'd care or anything."

Myrtle… The name was vaguely familiar. I had heard it before, mentioned by Professor Smith last year.

"You're Myrtle Warren." I realized aloud. "You were the girl who died when my old professor went to school! You died in this bathroom?"

"In that very spot, actually." Myrtle mused, completely forgetting to act superior and upset. She seemed excited to have an audience. "All I remember was coming out of the stall because I heard a boy's voice. A boy, in the girls' bathroom! Well, I was about to tell him to get out, when I heard this strange rasping noise, like a snake. I looked up into this great big pair of yellow eyes… and then I died."

"Just like that?" I echoed. "That sounds like a basilisk."

Myrtle shrugged. "I'm not sure what it was. I can't remember anything after that for awhile. But I do remember when they came for me. Olive Hornby found my body. Oh, I made sure she remembered, too…"

She launched into a monologue detailing how she had haunted the poor girl until the Ministry of Magic had intervened. While she chattered like an obnoxious squirrel, I thought hard. So, she had died here, likely by a basilisk, of all things. But how had such a creature come to be inside of Hogwarts? It must have been snuck in by a student. It couldn't have been that large, otherwise it would have been noticed.

Then again, Professor Smith said she had been close to Lord Voldemort (then Tom Riddle) and Folsom in her Hogwarts days. Perhaps they had something to do with it.

Or maybe someone had used the Killing Curse on her. Like how Angelina had died.

The thought made my stomach clench unpleasantly, and I remembered the ghost of the teenage boy who I had seen twice now at Hogwarts. He too reminded me of someone, but I couldn't quite recall who.

"...so then, when Peeves exploded a Dungbomb in the corridor upstairs, I decided to one-up him by flooding the entire floor-"

"Excuse me," I interrupted lightly, "but I was wondering if you could help me with something, actually."

"Help you?" Myrtle said, sounding incredulous. She folded her arms, looking haughty again. "Well, I suppose I could try."

Ignoring her attitude, I said, "I've seen a teenage boy around here. He's a ghost too. He looks to be around your age. He has dark hair and he wears Hogwarts robes, too." My eyes widened. "Wait a minute… did someone else die here, Myrtle? At school? Another student?"

Myrtle looked irritated. "Well… yes. He did. Not long after me, just a decade or so. Except he didn't die in this room."

"Where did he die?" I pressed, eager for more information. "Can you tell me his name? Please, I'm trying to talk to him. I think he might have saved my life last night." And I have to ask him about Angelina. Maybe… maybe she's a ghost too. Maybe she's haunting me.

"Oh, well, good for him." Myrtle muttered dispassionately. "I don't know where he died, but I know it wasn't in the castle. It was somewhere underground. Beneath the castle. They never found his body, but that's what he told me."

My heart quickened at her words. "What's his name?"

Myrtle rolled her eyes. "I'm much better company. What do you want to talk to him for, anyway? It's not like he's any good at talking. He mostly just floats along by himself."

"Please." I begged. "I need to talk to him. It's very, very important."

"Fine!" Myrtle snapped. "His name is Julian. Usually he haunts the plumbing underneath the castle, according to the Bloody Baron, but if you really wanted to find him, you should just ask the Gray Lady. He only listens to her."

"Thank you." I said fervently, and dashed out of the bathroom. I hurried up the stairs, still too early for breakfast to be over.

I crept into the library, which was currently vacant of students and Madam Pince. I surveyed the tall towers of books upon books upon books; it was rather overwhelming to comprehend the magnitude of knowledge that was contained just within the library of Hogwarts. Books had been collected here for nearly a thousand years. How long would it take to finish reading all of them?

I was near the Restricted Section when I saw her: the shimmering outline of a beautiful long-haired woman sitting gloomily at a table, studiously reading a book that looked to be as old as Hogwarts itself.

I walked forward purposefully, trying not to be nervous, but feeling so all the same. I knew who the ghost was, since she resembled her mother so much (her mother had a statue in our Common Room, something I passed every day). It seemed silly to be apprehensive, but the Ravenclaw ghost was known for being flighty, shy, and unwilling to entertain conversation with students. But she'd speak to me, right? I was a Ravenclaw. After all, the Gray Lady was the ghost of Ravenclaw House. It was sort of her duty to offer guidance to the students in her House. Still nervous, I cleared my throat quietly as I reached the table, trying to catch her attention without speaking or scaring her away.

The Gray Lady looked up.

"Hi," I said awkwardly, about to offer my hand to shake when I realized how stupid that would be to a ghost. I hastily stuffed my hands into my pockets. "I'm Amber Harkstone."

The Gray Lady merely looked at me, nonchalant.

"Listen," I continued hastily, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could tell me where to find a ghost named Julian? He haunts Hogwarts, but I haven't been able to find him on my own. Do you know where I could talk to him?"

The Gray Lady pursed her lips, turning her lovely face away to stare out one of the large windows carved into the walls of the library. Rain began to patter the glass, soft and tinkling.

"Please," I said inquiringly. "I need to thank him for what he did for me last night."

"Julian does not like to be disturbed." The Gray Lady said at last, in a regal and collected voice. Her gaze was still fixed on a faraway point that I could not see. I had the distinct impression that she was being vague on purpose.

"I'd still like to speak to him." I said. "Please." I added hopefully.

The Gray Lady folded her hands neatly on her lap. "You should not chase after the dead, Miss Harkstone. You will not find your sister among us."

Her words were like an unexpected slap across the face. I gaped at her, momentarily lost for words. How had she known about Virginia?

"I know of your loss." She went on slowly, as if reading my thoughts. "And I know what pursues you. You should be very, very careful. When I was young, I thought I wanted wisdom. In truth, I merely wanted to know all the answers, to be better than anyone, including my own mother. It was not wisdom I sought, but selfish personal glory." She pressed her lips into a fine line, as if she was regretting saying that last part.

"How… how dare you?" I said in disbelief. "You think… I know my sister is gone. Besides, you don't even know me! I just wanted to know where Julian is. I need answers, not… not personal glory." I said in a tone of disgust.

The Gray Lady turned to face me now, and I was shocked to see real, hot emotion burning like coals in her smoky eyes.

"You are a very strange girl, Amber. Not many people would seek out the echo of a soul. After all, that is all ghosts are. Why would you go digging for answers when you may unearth bones? Why do you invite danger into your reckless life?"

"That's none of your business." I said stiffly. "Please. Just tell me… can I talk to Julian?"

The Gray Lady closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, they were distant and cold again.

"You may not want to talk to Julian." She said softly as she rose from her seat and began to drift away.

I followed her impatiently. "Why not?"

The Gray Lady floated into the Restricted Section. I followed without the least hesitation. "Why not?" I repeated, less politely.

"Wait here." She said in her vague, haughty voice. "If he wishes to speak to you, he will find you here."

"Wait just a minute…" I began, but too late. She had vanished behind a solid wall. I paced, fuming with frustration. Ghosts did not seem to understand the physical implications of humanity anymore; they did not feel the accelerated heartbeat, the sweat in their palms, the urge to move around. They felt nothing. At least, not anything like the living did.

After ten minutes, I gave up my nervous pacing and plopped down on an ancient leather chair that squeaked loudly with age. I avoided picking up a book; the last time I had, I had fallen asleep and woken up in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. So instead I propped my chin up on my hand and watched the dancing firelight of the hearth on the other side of the room, counting the seconds and hoping the Gray Lady would return with her ward.

I sat, mesmerized by the leaping and crackling flames. It was so peaceful, so quiet… and I hadn't slept more than an hour last night…

I yawned and shook my head, trying to clear it, but a slow lullaby seemed to be playing nearby. It was a melody played on a flute. Slowly, my head sagged forward, and I knew I was fighting a losing battle as my eyelids drifted shut.

* * *

I felt something cold blowing across my face as I startled awake. I looked around frantically, cursing myself for falling asleep so easily. Hadn't the whole point of me staying awake been so that I could speak to a ghost?

But something felt odd. As I tried to stand up, my legs wouldn't obey. Frowning, I tried kicking them forward, but nothing happened. I remained seated, stuck.

"I wouldn't waste your time." A low voice said calmly. I whirled around, connecting gazes with a young man, shimmering and iridescent blue-gray in the light of the library.

"Julian." I said, flabbergasted.

The young man blinked owlishly. Up close, I could see that he had been tall and handsome as a young man. His hair was styled in a do that was several years out of date, and his uniform revealed him to be a fellow Ravenclaw, as I was.

"I can't get up." I said somewhat lamely. "I think this chair is hexed."

Julian shook his head slightly. "Not in the way you think it is. This was Rowena Ravenclaw's Chair of Dissonance. It allows you to separate your mind from your body after you enter sleep. It plays a lullaby to help one enter subconsciousness."

I gaped at him, sure I'd heard wrong.

"Try floating." He suggested.

I watched him dubiously, wondering if I was being tricked, but decided to give it a chance. To my horrified wonder, I drifted straight up.

Leaving my unconscious body behind in the chair, slumped over and lifeless.

"Am I dead?" I gasped, staring down at my hands, which still looked the same except now they were clearly see-through. Unlike Julian, who was silvery-blue, I was still in full color. But we were both made-up of a material less than flesh and more than air. I fought a violent rise of panic as I hovered over the ground, unsure of what I was.

"As I said, you are merely temporarily separated from your body." Julian said calmly. "You will be reunited once you return to it."

I stared at this strange boy, suddenly uncertain of what I was getting myself into. Already, there was magic far beyond anything I could dream that I was dealing with. Three years at Hogwarts had not prepared me for something like this. I fought the strong current of wayward emotions warning me not to proceed, to remain in my comfort zone. But what good would that do? If I wanted answers, I would have to risk the unknown and seek guidance from this odd young ghost.

Julian's dark eyes pierced me as we regarded each other. And it struck me then why the look unnerved me so much: it was just like Folsom's icy glare that had pinned me more times than I could count.

"I was told," Julian said in a quiet, depressed tone, "you wish to speak to me."

I chewed my lower lip, but felt no physical feel. It made sense, since I was technically not made of flesh, but the notion made me shiver with misgivings. But I had come this far. And time was running out. If I wanted answers, now was the time to ask.

"First, I wanted to thank you." I said slowly. "For what you did last night. You brought me out of that trance. If you hadn't… I don't know if I would have been able to do it myself. I could have died if it wasn't for you. So… thank you."

Julian merely looked at me.

I struggled with a rush of uncertainty. Would he even know about Angelina? Would he tell me the truth? He seemed harder to talk to than the Gray Lady.

"Do you know anything about a girl named Angelina Azadian?" I dared to ask. Her name hung in the air like mist. I watched Julian's face for any sign of recognition, but it remained impassive, stony. Dead.

"She died last year. She was… murdered. Like Myrtle."

"Like me." Julian said quietly.

"Sorry?" I said, sure I'd heard wrong.

"Come with me." Julian murmured, drifting past without waiting for me to answer. "I have something to show you that I could not until now. Perhaps it will unlock niches of information that would be beneficial to you. If it is answers you seek, I may have some of them for you in this place."

Before I could stop him, he drifted away. Not sure how to move without a body, I focused hard on following Julian, and to my astonishment, my silvery form soared after him. It wasn't much different than flying on a broomstick, and I found myself calming down as I was reassured of my control.

Julian was traveling down through the floors of the school. Disoriented, I tried not to think about how odd it was that I was literally passing through solid stone and mortar as we floated deeper into the depths of the school. Darker, colder air made it hard to see, but Julian continued without any hesitation.

Deeper. Much colder now. I began to worry that we would never stop when we passed through solid, endless stone. I nearly panicked, when just as suddenly, we were back in open space and air. It looked like we were now inside of a long, downward-sloping tunnel.

Julian's iridescent light gave off faint silver illumination as we passed through the long, dark tunnel. Farther and farther we went, until I was about to call him back and ask him to bring me back to the safety of the library. But then the tunnel yawned into a huge, dark, dripping cavern, and I stopped dead, in utter bewilderment.

Julian had paused as well, turning to face me. His vacant eyes were boring into me, and again I felt the awful feeling that it was Folsom, not Julian, who was staring at me. I broke our eye contact and observed the cave-like room we were in. Stalactites and stalagmites jutted out from the ceiling and the floor like giant fangs, and dark, greenish water dripped from them onto the wet floor, pooling in a flat sheet of gloomy green water. I had the impression that we were very far beneath the school, maybe even a mile, but it was still connected to Hogwarts.

"Where are we?" I asked as I drifted to Julian, watching my shimmering, ghostly reflection in the stagnant water pooled on the stone floor.

"Beneath the Lake." Julian responded, gesturing deeper into the gloomy cave. "This way."

Filled with trepidation, but not wanting to waste my effort of arriving here in the first place, I followed him yet again. Not long after, we arrived at a circular door engraved with several menacing stone serpents. We floated through like it wasn't there.

I let out a gasp of shock. We had arrived in a hall-like room. There was a strangely manmade length of smooth, polished stone running from the door to a grotesque, giant marble head, monkey-like and ancient. Giant, curved snake statues lined the pathway to the terrible face, and Julian began to gravitate toward the statue. For the first time, I did not follow.

Julian glanced over his shoulder at me. "This way."

But I didn't want to go any further. A small voice in my head was warning me that this was a bad idea. That if I went any further on this quest for answers, I would surely pay the price for learning secrets I was not meant to know.

Angelina's face flashed in my mind, and I pursed my lips tightly. How many more days and nights did I want to go through my life with her memory haunting me? I wanted peace and answers, and somehow I knew that this ghost knew some of the missing puzzle pieces that I needed so desperately.

With an iron effort, I forced myself forward. Julian led me to the end of the pavilion. We stood before the gigantic stone face, even more ghastly up close. It was strangely familiar.

"Do you think you could tell me why we're down here now?" I asked at last, not wanting to be in this eerie place any longer than necessary. It felt like a tomb, a crypt. A place not meant for the living.

Julian turned his head to face me slightly. His eyes traveled down my neck to where my opal necklace rested. He reached out a ghostly hand and touched it softly. I felt the necklace tremble slightly, and then, without warning, the room spun around us in a tornado of flashing colors and sounds.

I tried to scream, but my throat was too tight. I couldn't move or make a sound. It the same awful sensation of Disapparating, something I'd felt just twice in my life. And then, after feeling like I had been spinning on the inside of a car tire barreling down the highway, the movement abruptly halted. I gasped for air, retching, but I didn't have a body anymore. The actions didn't relieve my horror until something else distracted me.

Something worse than a spinning room.

A strikingly handsome young man was striding down the stone walkway. He was tall and pale-skinned, his black hair curling slightly on his perfect face. There was no way someone human could be that handsome. In spite of myself, I felt my cheeks warming. In spite of his physical beauty, I felt a strong shudder of foreboding rush through me.

"Just watch." Julian whispered, and with a start, I realized he was still here with me.

Before I could ask him what was going on, a second figure hurried forth from the darkness. At first, I thought it was Mara. And then I realized it was Willow Smith, a much younger Willow Smith.

"Tom!" She said sharply, and the young man stopped. His nostrils flared, but when he turned back to face Willow, he had schooled his face into a mask of incredulous surprise.

"I thought I told you." He said cajolingly. "Not to follow me down here anymore."

I stared, in complete disbelief, as Willow drew her wand, pointing it straight at the young man named Tom. A Head Girl badge glinted on her lapel, and I saw Tom had a Head Boy badge to match. Slytherin for him, Hufflepuff for her.

"Don't make me hex you." She breathed, but there was a sly smile on her lips that made me gawk like a fool. I had never, ever seen such a look on my teacher's face before.

Tom chuckled once, gently brushing her arm down so her wand pointed safely away. "Don't make me laugh, Will. You couldn't stop me, even if your life depended on it."

Willow seemed to take mild offense to his words. She gazed around at the room, but it didn't seem foreign to her. Rather, she seemed comfortably familiar with it. Her pale green eyes swept right through me and Julian, and it was then that the dawn of realization began to rise in me.

Were we in a memory?

"I haven't really tried before." She mused, taking a few steps away from him. She seemed to be listening for something. Willow turned to face him again, her eyes bright and mischievous. "Want to play our old game?"

Tom seemed annoyed and amused at the same time, the emotions flitting across his handsome face. "You hide, I seek? Please. I always win."

"Because I let you." Willow said airily, and I did a second double-take as she deliberately brushed out her long sweep of beautiful hair. Was she flirting with this boy? Straightlaced, formal Professor Smith? How could this be the same person?

There was a low, groaning sound, and then the ground began to rumble. Willow looked nervous, but a grin flashed across Tom's face.

"Don't worry," Tom said in his musical voice, "she's been fed. She won't hurt you."

But Willow didn't look convinced. She ducked behind a statue of a snake just in time for a huge shape to slither from the shadows of a tunnel near the giant stone face.

I immediately averted my gaze. I knew what this creature was. The basilisk hissed loudly, and I shivered. Willow seemed to share the same aversion as I did.

Tom strode confidently toward the gigantic snake, who was swaying back and forth like he was charming her with an invisible flute. I dared to peek at the face of the basilisk. She opened her huge mouth and exhaled slightly, revealing lethal, venom-filled fangs.

Tom reached out and touched her nose, without any sign of fear or hesitation.

My attention was snapped back to the sound of approaching footsteps. Willow was still taking refuge behind a statue as a third figure made his way down the stone pathway, his steps slow and measured. He had the same gait as a man approaching the gallows.

"I thought I might find you down here." The familiar voice intoned, and I gasped again.

It was Folsom.

He was still human, not as emaciated-looking as I remembered him. He was also clearly still a teenager, his high cheekbones clashing with his lack of facial hair. He looked younger, healthier… but just as malevolent and cold as ever.

Tom's face hardened. The basilisk hissed warningly.

"You aren't supposed to be down here either, Vincent." Tom said in a dangerously low voice.

"You left the door open." Folsom said lightly.

"My mistake, of course." Tom said back, but I knew he wasn't pleased at all.

Willow emerged then from her hiding place. I saw Folsom's gaze flicker to her in surprise, and then displeasure. His ice-blue eyes narrowed as he glared at Tom, pretending that the monstrous snake was not just feet away from him.

"I thought you'd agreed that Willow was not supposed to be here any longer." Folsom said in a casual tone, but it held a warning. I thought I saw his hand flicker to his wand. Tom noticed as well. Clearly, her presence with Tom bothered him very much.

"Willow is free to do as she wishes." Tom reminded him.

Willow stepped between them, palms facing outwards in a pacifying gesture. "Boys." She said, looking more than ever like her daughter without the garish scar cutting across her lovely face.

Both Folsom and Tom looked carefully controlled - but that didn't deter the sense of incoming danger that permeated the air. The basilisk hissed again.

"Why are you really here, Vincent?" Tom asked in a velvet voice. "Surely even you wouldn't wish to stalk your quarry all the way into the depths of the Chamber without good reason."

Folsom narrowed his eyes into slits. "Of course, I have my reasons. The Master wishes to speak with us at the next full moon. And he wishes to speak with you, Tom, before midnight tonight. He asked me to personally relay the message, considering you two have been rather… flighty, as of late."

Willow spread her hands wider as Tom tensed. The way he spoke his words made them sound heavy with implied innuendo.

"Enough fighting." She said firmly, but her words seemed to have no effect on Tom. A muscle jerked in his cheek, and he glared at Folsom until I was sure he was just moments away from cursing him.

"I would have figured you, of all people, would not succumb so easily to jealousy." Tom said quietly. "That you would cast aside your weak humanity in order to embrace the freedom that immortality has to offer."

"Do not speak to me of such things, Lord Voldemort." Folsom spat. "If you have not already forgotten, you are not the true Master of Death."

"Yet." Tom hissed, and I saw a gleam of scarlet in his dark eyes. "It is only a matter of time."

"Enough!" Willow said, her voice echoing loudly off of the wet rocks. The basilisk bobbed and weaved, looking eager to strike Folsom. But she waited. Evidently, she would not move until Tom commanded her.

"It seems that you do not understand," Tom said, twirling his wand in one hand almost lazily, "how I have already embarked down the path of immortality, while you remain tethered to your flesh and heart. Why is that, Vincent? Why do you hesitant to conquer Death?"

Folsom's eyes darted to Willow and then back to Tom. It was such a quick but significant action that if I had not been staring at him intently, I would not have noticed. But in that moment, a seed was planted in my mind. A seed that would explain so much…

"We all embark on our journey at the right time." Folsom hissed. "The Master told me my time has yet to come. I have unfinished business to attend to."

"Perhaps." Tom allowed. "But perhaps there are other reasons…"

Folsom drew his wand so fast that I almost missed it. Tom made a reflexive movement and a huge shield erupted from his wand just in time for the fire from Folsom's wand to hit it. Willow had vanished completely.

Both boys seemed momentarily stunned by what the other had done. And then, without another second to waste, the duel reignited.

It was like nothing I had ever seen before. The spellwork was incredible. Neither spoke, but both produced hexes and Charms that would have rivaled anything Dumbledore could have performed. A huge wall of flames erupted from Folsom's wand, in the shapes of terrible, snarling beasts. The leaping animalistic flames flashed toward Tom. He flicked his wand, and an invisible shield seemed to bounce the fire back, which then folded in upon itself and began a swarming mass of black locusts, which turned on Folsom. Folsom reacted by holding his wand in front of him like a torch; a large green flame at the top of it seemed to part the sea of hurtling locusts. There was a brief second when I saw the opening just as Tom did. He snarled something in a guttural language, and the snake at his side hissed in response. The basilisk lunged forward, her jaws open wide, aiming right for Folsom.

The room froze.

Ice had appeared on every surface: the snake, Folsom, Tom, the stones. Everything was encased in white and literally frozen in time. I saw Willow emerge from her hiding place behind a snake statue, her wand clutched tightly in her hand.

Somehow, she had used incredibly complex magic to literally freeze the room into a solid, impenetrable icy room. The stalactites had turned to lethal-looking icicles, hanging from the ceiling of the cavern like overripe fruit, ready to drop.

I watched as Willow walked between the two men, watching the basilisk with an odd expression on her face. Was it pity? Or sorrow? It was too difficult to interpret.

She made a few more complicated movements with her wand. The light vanished from the greenish gloom of the cavern until it was black, save for the green light emanating from her upheld wand. She murmured a strange incantation, and I heard a soft sighing sound.

I waited, terrified, as the figures of Folsom and Tom came into the light. Neither appeared to have had any memory of what had just transpired. The basilisk was evidently gone, slithered back to her dark shadows beyond the circle of light that Willow held aloft.

"The Master summoned me?" Tom asked Folsom politely in his cool voice.

"Yes." Folsom said gravely. "It is best if we go now."

Tom nodded once. "Very well. I shall require the company of just one." His black eyes slid to Willow's face, strangely shadowed and eerie-looking in the green light of her wand. "Care to join me?"

Willow's face remained impassive. She nodded once. "I will."

She and Tom began to move out of the wandlight. Just before, the iridescence of her wand's light revealed the ugly contorting of Folsom's face. It was a look I had seen on him before. It made me feel sick with apprehension for whoever he harbored his hatred for.

The jealousy twisting his face was as stark as the grotesque leer on the stone statue face in the darkness behind him. Jealousy invoked violence, greed, and bitterness. I wanted to run from the hot waves of dangerous energy rolling off of him, when suddenly, the illumination of what I had just witnessed gave its full impact upon me.

The scene faded. Julian and I were standing again, floating above the ground in the same room. But it was brighter now, and older-looking. Clearly, time had passed between the time the three wizards had been here and when we had arrived.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. The thought of what I was considering was absurd. Too absurd. Far too crazy.

But yet, it fit. And maybe it explained more than I initially gave it merit for.

"He… Folsom… Tom… He's… Lord Vol…" I couldn't bring myself to say the name aloud anymore. I struggled to verbalize the hurricane of emotions and thoughts swirling inside of me. "Willow was friends with them. How did they get down here? Who's the Master?"

Julian merely looked down at his feet. I hadn't seen it before, or perhaps I just hadn't noticed. I focused on it for a brief moment and let out a horrified gasp.

It was a skeleton. Wearing a Ravenclaw outfit.

The exact same one that Julian was wearing.

I stared at him in dawning horror. "You… this is where you died? How?"

Julian blinked slowly, his eyes closed for a long time. They were still closed when he spoke again.

"I was murdered here in my sixth year by The Master." He said quietly. "And I cannot tell you his identity. It is a cursed name, and I cannot speak of it. My very tongue is bound, even in death. But perhaps what you have seen will have illuminated your mind. Perhaps I could help you piece together part of the puzzle."

I struggled to speak. My mind was too full again, and I longed for Dumbledore's Pensieve, to empty my thoughts into the shimmering stone basin.

"Folsom… he was jealous of them. He was jealous of Tom! Merlin's beard… He was in love with Willow, wasn't he? He could be Mara's father!"

But Julian didn't seem to be listening. Instead, he reached out for my necklace. Instinctively, I backed up. I knew, viscerally, that the memory I had just witnessed had been because of the necklace and because he had touched it. But I wasn't entirely sure how this necklace worked just yet… especially since Willow herself had told me that it was just a mere copy.

She had apparently been mistaken. Or lying to me.

"The more important thing to remember is that those three were here for a reason." Julian murmured, and he opened his eyes now, training them on me. "You must speak to your friends now. Only they can help you now. I am forbidden to speak of this any more."

"But wait!" I shouted, half-desperate for answers as he began to drift away from his remains as if they were of no importance to him. "Why can't you speak about this? If you know anything about how Angelina died, tell me! Did the Master kill her too? Was it Folsom? How did Folsom became a vampire? What does this have to do with me? I need to know! He's after me, Julian. I don't know what to do anymore. Please. I need you."

"The one who laid a curse on me is the reason I cannot speak to you about what you seek." Julian murmured, withdrawing into himself. I could see it happening as if the lights were turning off inside of a house. His eyes became blank and unfocused again. "I can't…"

"Why not?" I pressed, hard. "Who laid a curse on you? Why can't you tell me more?"

"Because," he said as he drifted toward the stone face of the ugly ancient man, "my father is the one who wants to kill you. He laid the curse on me." He vanished, but his voice was still echoing back to me when he said, "You see.. Folsom was my father."


	55. Prongs

At that precise moment, I was jolted hard from my place near Julian's bones. There was a flash of black and then I was jumping out of my seat, gasping for air. It took me a frenzied moment to realize that I was back inside of the Restricted Section. As if I had never left.

A million thoughts pulsed through my mind, each one clamoring for the center of attention, but it was all I could do to stumble out of the Restricted Section and into the cavernous library. It reminded me so forcefully of the cathedral-like cave beneath the school that for a moment I was too dazed to move.

_What on earth had just happened to me?_

I struggled to exit the library. Madam Pince was glaring at me from her perch, clearly wondering how I had gotten into her library in the first place. It meant that breakfast was over. The steady pounding of rain against the windows made it impossible to tell what time of day it was. How long had I been out of my body? How much time had elapsed between me falling asleep in the chair and waking up?

I staggered on shaking legs back to the Ravenclaw Common Room. It was empty. Classes must have been in session still, so it wasn't dinner time yet. I dug through my trunk, hardly unpacked yet, and unearthed three of the glass vials that Mara had given to me last night. With trembling hands, I carefully extracted my most recent memories, feeling a relaxing wave of relief for each memory I removed from my overflowing mind.

A few minutes later, three glass vials - all corked with swirling silver memories drifting serenely inside - sat before me. I passed a shaking hand over my face, sweat wiping off onto my cold fingers. I leaned back against my bed, closing my eyes as the angry pounding of my heartbeat slowed into a proper, steady rhythm.

_Julian's father wants to kill me. _Folsom was his father.

How did that make sense? He was only one who wanted to kill me, as far as I knew, and he was a vampire. Vampires couldn't have children. And if Julian was his son, that meant that Folsom had been a young father. A very young father, a teenager or freshly out of Hogwarts.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of the remaining dizziness. Folsom didn't _have _any children. How could Julian be his? The other Marauders and I had seen it in the file we'd stolen from Mr. Black's office. 'No wife or living children'. It had been there, official and in dried black ink.

But then again… perhaps we had read it wrong. Or maybe the Ministry had messed up. Maybe when it had meant that not only had he never married, but his children had once been alive.

But no longer.

I exhaled loudly through my teeth, wishing I had the answers. I believed Julian when he said that he was bound under a curse, unable to reveal information pertaining to his murder. The fact that he could tell me his father was Folsom sent a shiver down my spine. It meant that maybe Folsom wasn't the biggest threat out there.

It was Tom… who appeared to be the much-younger version of Lord Voldemort. I bit my lip as I remembered the mysterious person of whom they'd had spoken of with reverance and respect.

_The Master. _Who could possibly be "The Master"? It certainly wasn't Lord Voldemort or Folsom or Willow.

_Willow. _In spite of myself, a single tear escaped from my closed eyelids and slipped down my cheek. How could my dear professor have possibly been so mixed-up with the Dark Arts in her youth? She had looked to be only three or so years older than I was in the memory I had witnessed. She was definitely old enough to know better.

I sat there, trying to sort out the confusing array of emotions battling within me, for what could have been hours or days. There was no way I wanted to fall back to sleep now, not with so much information I knew I needed to relay to the Marauders right away.

And maybe I would need to confide in Dumbledore, too. Even if it meant that I would be in trouble for sneaking into the Restricted Section and playing sick.

But as I thought about it, I _did _feel sick. Certainly not well enough to attend classes and participate. The very action of staggering to my feet had me swaying dangerously, gripping the wall for support. Groggily, I crawled into my bed and rested my head against my pillows, finally allowing myself to entertain the idea of sleep.

* * *

"Amber? Amber, are you alright? Wake up."

My eyes drifted open. I blinked in the darkness of the room, my eyes adjusting to the lack of light. For a moment, I thought that Angelina was standing in front of me, talking to me. But then I remembered she was dead, and the face of the girl in front of me cleared.

"Oh." I said in a voice thick with sleep. "Hi, Miriam."

It was a fellow Ravenclaw, Miriam Tring, a fifth-year girl whom I recognized from last year during the initial Quidditch tryouts. She hadn't made the team.

"Professor Flitwick asked me to check up here and see if you were… okay." She chewed her lip and I had the impression that she had substituted the word 'okay' for 'alive'.

"Oh. Yes, I'm fine." I sat up and stretched, bones and joints creaking and snapping back into place. "I must have fallen asleep after breakfast."

Miriam nodded once. "Okay. I'll go tell him you're alright. Madam Pomfrey wants to see you, too. Also, you may want to uh… freshen up."

Heat climbed into my face as Miriam turned and left the dormitory. I checked my breath and grimaced. Morning breath.

After I had brushed my teeth and checked my appearance in the large gilded mirror (and quickly gave up any hope of trying to look better), I walked down the marble spiral staircase into the Ravenclaw Common Room. It was packed with my fellow Housemates, each of them with at least one book in their lap. Many were writing across rolls of parchment and some were talking to each other. A male student was strumming a handsome guitar in the corner, filling the room with a soothing melody. Only a few bothered to spare me a cursory glance as I walked to the exit, which suited me just fine. The less people who noticed me, the better.

At that moment, a tall girl with black glasses and straight brown hair swooped in front of me. I recognized the glint of a Head Girl badge on her lapel, and as I blinked at her hard face, I remembered that her name was Hestia Skandenberg.

"And where do you think _you're _going?" She asked in a lofty voice filled with disapproval. "It's after-hours. No one leaves the Common Room after curfew."

I could feel the stares of our fellow Housemates as I lifted my chin a notch in defiance. "I have an appointment with Madam Pomfrey. I've been sick in bed all day."

Hestia raised a disbelieving brow. It was plucked so thin she was in danger of having any eyebrows at all. "Really? What kind of sick? Homesickness or migraine?"

"Dragon pox, actually." I lied easily, and I heard several students behind us inhale sharply.

Dragon pox was extremely contagious and horribly disfiguring, if the victim survived. Not many did. Hestia clearly knew this, because her haughty expression turned fearful in an instant.

"Dragon pox?" She scoffed, but she took a step back. "You're making that up. You couldn't possibly have dragon pox. Everyone's supposed to be vaccinated before they come here."

"Oh, I think it's dragon pox. I haven't been feeling well since I arrived here, and my Uncle Billy did look awfully green at my birthday party last week. Besides, my family doesn't believe in vac… vac...vaccinations." I made a theatrical retching noise, clamping my hand over my mouth and swallowing loudly. "I think… oh no… _it's too late_."

I heard several students leap to their feet and run for the the exit. Hestia threw herself out of the way as a stampede of Ravenclaws hurried en masse through the door, trying to escape potential contamination. She gave me a long, hard glare as she left at the tail-end of the group. I was alone once again.

I grinned. After three years of running around with James and Sirius, I could clear in a room in under a minute.

I checked the grandfather clock. It was half-past eight. The boys and I had agreed to meet at the Shack at nine. Feeling much better, I saunteered down the black, iron-wrought staircase and down the tunnel that would lead me outside and to the Whomping Willow. It was truly remarkable what a solid block of sleep could do for the body.

I pushed aside a thick curtain of wisteria vines as I exited the secret tunnel. The grounds of Hogwarts sprawled before me in the half-moon light, bathed in silver. The Whomping Willow swayed back and forth, its lethal branches snapping in the cool night air.

I raised my wand and pointed it at a small twig that had fallen from the tree. "_Wingardium leviosa."_

The twig levitated into the air. With my wand as the guide, I directed it to fly over to the tiny knot at the base of the massive willow trunk. It hit squarely. The Willow froze, completely immobile and safe.

Grinning, I darted forth and into the tunnel. It sloped downwards, filling my nostrils with cool, pungent air. Rich, dark soil reminded me of the Forbidden Forest, and I paused in mid-stride at the memory.

_You're safe. You're not eavesdropping on a band of You-Know-Who's supporters. Just stay calm and keep moving._

Wand still out and ready, I finished the long length of the underground passage and emerged through a trapdoor in the abandoned building sitting vacant and desolate just a mile from Hogsmeade. The Shrieking Shack had garnered such a reputation as a haunted building that no one dared come closer than the rickety fence circling the property. It was the perfect meeting place for the other Maruaders and I. The chance that we would be discovered was almost nil.

I could hear male voices drifting down toward me from the top floor. I passed dust-coated furniture and pictures. One was torn eerily to reveal half of a handsome young man's face. The house creaked in the light wind. It was definitely spooky, but the dilapidated condition made it that much more appealing. It was as if we were outsmarting others by using the place as a hideout.

The voices grew more distinct and familiar as I climbed to the third floor. Golden light spilled underneath a closed doorway, and I turned the knob slowly as I listened to the voices.

"...stop, you're making it worse." James' voice was filled with annoyance and resignation.

"If you'd stop _moving _like a little girl, I could help!" Sirius snapped.

"Oh, you two." Remus chuckled. "You fight like an old married couple."

"James, it looks really neat!" Peter squeaked.

James cursed loudly as Sirius let out a loud sigh of irritation. Unable to contain my curiosity any longer, I let the door creak open.

The four boys turned to face me at once. They were all seated at a rickety table, the surface covered in several fat candles, each guttering warm flames that gave the same sense of relaxation that a campfire would. They had also nicked several baskets of food from the kitchen at Hogwarts. Four bottles of half-finished butterbeer sat on the table, along with two books that were too far away for me to make out the titles on. Remus was scanning through a third.

All four looked at me. To my surprise, James looked sheepish, of all things. I frowned.

"Hi, Amber." Sirius said amicably. "Nice of you to join us. We thought you wouldn't come."

"Nonsense." Remus dismissed. "She'll always come."

"What's going on here?" I asked shrewdly, unnerved by James' unusual stoic manner. Peter glanced at him and giggled.

"Never you mind." James said peevishly, and I put my hands on my hips, raising a brow.

"What did you do?" I asked immediately.

"Nothing!" James shot back. "Why do you always assume the worst of me? I didn't do anything wrong."

"Not on purpose, you mean." Sirius amended, and James shoved him. Sirius pushed back, and the next thing I knew they were both on the floor, throwing punches and grunting and swearing.

I gaped, momentarily lost for words, and then surged forth. Remus got to his feet and held up a hand. I stared at him in disbelief.

"Are you crazy?" I hissed. "Look! They're going to kill each other!"

"Oh, I don't think so." Remus disagreed calmly. "They both need to blow off some steam. Let them work it out."

I shook my head, stunned. I gestured to the brawl. "_That's _working it out?"

"For guys, yeah." Remus said. Sirius and James rolled into an old chess table, knocking it over and sending pieces scattering over the floor. Peter bit his nails in fright.

Shaking my head, I reached into the baskets and retrieved a blueberry muffin. I bit into it as the fight persisted.

"So," I said, trying to sound casual, "I uh… well, I have something to tell you all."

Remus' green gaze pinned me. "Does it involve Locke?"

I frowned. "No. Actually, I haven't heard from him in awhile. He's busy with Quidditch, I imagine, now that he's pro."

Remus nodded once, seeming to relax a little. "Good for him. What's on your mind?"

I watched Sirius land a blow on James' mouth. James spat out a tooth and grabbed a fistful of Sirius' hair, pulling it. Sirius let out a yell of pain and fought harder.

"I'll tell you more in a minute, but I had the strangest thing happen to me today. I think I talked to Folsom's son."

Remus lifted a brow. "Folsom? As in, vampire Folsom?"

"Yeah." I said, taking another bite of muffin. "He's a ghost. Oh, and the other night, I got lost in the Forbidden Forest. I was sleepwalking."

Remus listened as I recounted the events of the past two days. We sat back down and he poured me a cup of tea from a ceramic pot I hadn't noticed before. He listened raptly, leaning forward, his expression changing from concern to anger to bewilderment and finally, concern again.

I didn't know how long I'd been talking. It must have been awhile, because when I was finished, Sirius and James were seated at the table, both staring at me like I'd grown a second head.

"You… you're saying Folsom had a _son_?" James asked in utter disbelief. He was sporting several new cuts and bruises and he was missing a tooth, but it was nothing Madam Pomfrey couldn't fix. Sirius too looked worse for the wear, but neither seemed to have any permanent damage. "That's impossible. His file said no living children. I remember it."

"I know it sounds crazy, but I believe the ghost. He said he was his son, and the look in his eyes was exactly like Folsom's. There was no way they weren't related at one point." I said, trying to help them understand. "I know it means Folsom would have had to be a really young father, but my parents had me a year after they graduated Hogwarts. It happens."

"But how is Folsom so… _young_?" James countered. "He was twenty-five when he died."

"He didn't die." I said simply. "He was changed. He would have been a vampire for years already when Julian was murdered. It couldn't have happened too long ago, but it did."

A tense silence followed. Peter was eating his fourth muffin as Sirius rubbed his jaw. Remus was skimming through his book again. I took a sip from his butterbeer. He glanced at me, but didn't say anything.

"So what you're saying is that Folsom's son was murdered at Hogwarts?" James pressed. "We should see if we can find any information on him. And why Folsom had a kid in the first place. I mean, who would want to be the mum of Folsom's kid?"

"That's another thing." I went on, taking a deep breath. "I think… I think Mara might be Folsom's daughter."

This time, an explosion of noise followed my guess. Sirius and James let out loud shouts of disapproval, while Peter gasped and nearly choked on his muffin. Remus let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head.

"You can't be serious!" James half-laughed, half-shouted. "You think Professor Smith and Folsom… oh, come on, Lionheart! You can't be that daft. I can't imagine a pair less likely to have a child together. Do you think it was a one-night stand?"

"Had to be." Sirius agreed at once. "Folsom isn't capable of love. He's stone-cold frigid, like a demon or something. I just… I can't even think about it. Mara can't be his daughter."

"You didn't see them." I said quietly. "I had some kind of vision." I toyed with the necklace. "I think it had something to do with this. I think I saw a memory. Or _something_ from the past. It was strange."

"_How…_" James peered at me. "You don't have any Seer blood in you, do you?"

I shook my head. "Not that I know of. But it sort of makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, if I was Professor Smith, and the father of my child was a Dark wizard, I'd certainly never let him know he had a tie to me like that. She probably never told him."

"Or he knew, and didn't want her anyway." Sirius supplied. "But then, do you think Julian is Professor Smith's son, too? Do you think he was Mara's brother?"

I bit my lip. "No, I don't think so. I think he would have told me if Professor Smith was his mother. Besides, he didn't look a thing like her. He had some kind of curse on him… He couldn't tell me too much. But he mentioned 'The Master.'" I waited for any kind of explanation, but none came.

"'The Master'?" Sirius echoed. "I've never heard of that name before."

"Damn." I sighed. If anyone would have known of a Dark name, it would have been Sirius. He had been raised in a house practically devoted to the Dark Arts.

Sirius seemed to be reading my thoughts. "I'll see if I can find anything in Dad's office." He offered. "When I'm home next."

"Maybe." I said flatly. I had been hoping that 'The Master' would have been a recognizable name somewhere in the vaults of history, like the 'Lord Voldemort' of today.

I shuddered at the thought of the name. How could that handsome boy, Tom, have been the younger version of what would become Lord Voldemort?

"What else?" Remus prompted. "You were sleepwalking again, found a group of Lord Vol-"

"Don't say his name!" I hissed.

Remus shrugged. "Fine. You found a group of You-Know-Who's supporters in the Forbidden Forest, went with a ghost some kind of cavern underneath the school, saw a vision of the past, and the ghosts' bones. Anything else?"

I bit my lip, unwilling to say the last piece aloud. I knew that it would hurt Remus to bring her up again, but I couldn't help it. I had to let them know who haunted my dreams, more than Folsom or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

"Yes." I said quietly. I stared at the guttering candles, unable to meet Remus' eyes. "Angelina. I can't stop dreaming about her. She's haunting me or something, I swear it. I don't know why, but she… I can't stop thinking about her."

I peeked at Remus. Pain flickered across his eyes like flashing minnows, but then he schooled his face carefully blank.

"You might be grieving still." He said stiffly, closing the book with a snap that made me jump guiltily. "It's hard to accept death sometimes."

"I know that." I said, thinking of Virginia and how I still couldn't quite accept that she was really gone. "It's just… it's awful, really. I see her in the Forest, and she…" I trailed off, noticing the muscle jerking in Remus' cheek and the way he was staring into the dark shadows beyond us.

"I think you need time." James said, surprising me. He wiped off some dried blood on his face with the back of his hand. "It was a scary day for all of us, you know? Stuff like that is hard to forget."

"I'll never forget the train being bombed." Sirius agreed, his gray eyes haunted. "The way it made the ground shake… the ones who didn't make it…"

"Lovely topics, I know." I said bracingly, in a half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood. "But I needed to tell you. It's right that all of us know these things."

"Thank you." James said, the candlelight reflecting off his glasses, making them look briefly opaque.

"For what?" I asked, frowning.

"For trusting us." James said simply.

A warm feeling spread within me, like the sun rising over a lake. Before I could say another word, though, Remus cleared his throat.

"Oh." Sirius said vaguely, snapping his fingers and digging into his back pocket. He presented a mirror.

"What's this?" I asked, reaching for it. Sirius allowed me to handle it. The small mirror showed nothing but my own reflection.

"It's a special two-way mirror." Sirius explained. "James has the other one. But if we ever need to have a dual-way of communicating, well, we've got one now."  
"Let me guess." I said dryly, handing it back to him. "Another gift from your family?"

"Something like that, yeah." Sirius said, stowing it. "It's pretty cool, actually. Dad found it in Borgin and Burke's a few years ago and passed it down to me and Regulus. Of course, I stole the other one from him and gave it to James. He's my real brother."

I didn't like that Sirius and Regulus still hadn't mended their broken brotherhood and changed the subject. I eyed James curiously. "So, why were you and Sirius fighting? I overheard you saying something about something not being right."

James flushed. He pushed away from the table, swearing. I watched, bemused, as he paced like a caged tiger along the length of the room in the dim shadows.

"He's just a little self-conscious right now." Sirius chuckled.

"Shut _up, _Padfoot." James snarled, and I was intrigued at his tone.

"James!" I balked. "What's the matter?"

James threw me a dark look and pointed an accusing finger at Sirius. "Why don't you ask _him? _It's his fault!"

"Is not!" Sirius shouted back, looking indignant. "I told you, physical changes were a normal part of the process! I had a few issues myself before I made the transformation complete."

At a total loss, I looked at Remus for clarity, but he merely shook his head and delved back into his book.

"Would someone _please _tell me what's going on?" I demanded, feeling the first twinges of real annoyance.

"James had a bit of a… malfunction." Peter said in a small voice.

"It's _not _permanent!" James snarled, and Peter winced.

"What's wrong, exactly?" I asked again, moving closer.

James shook his head in disgust. "Fine. I might as well show you."

I illuminated my wand tip and held it up. At first, I didn't see anything wrong. And then I noticed the strange outline silhouetted in the wandlight.

"James… what…" I gasped as I realized what it was. It was impossible, but it was there. Unmistakebly real and tangible.

James Potter had sprouted a pair of handsome deer antlers.

I gaped at him first, and then at the boys. Peter looked grave, Remus shrugged and Sirius burst into a refreshed round of laughter.

"It's _not _funny!" James roared, which only added fuel to the fire. Sirius fell out of his chair, snorting.

"What… is this part of the process of becoming an Animagus?" I asked weakly, remembering my own temporary yellow eyes.

"Yeah." James said glumly. "That's why Remus is looking for answers in the book. But I guess I'll have to go to Madam Pomfrey to have her fix them. I'll just tell her Sirius hexed me."

I reached out gingerly and touched one. It was hard as bone.

"Don't." James groaned, pulling back.

"Sorry." I apologized quickly, at a loss.

Sirius giggled from the floor. "Don't be ashamed mate. You're at least a fourteen-point buck."

James let out a yell and launched himself at Sirius again.

I rolled my eyes, unwilling to observe another fight. I raised a brow, looking at Remus inquiringly. He met my gaze squarely.

"Care for a walk?" I asked, and I watched his guarded expression falter.

"Just the two of us?" He responded, blinking owlishly.

I shrugged. "They can join us after they've had their fight. I need some fresh air."  
"Alright." Remus said, and rose to his feet. Peter looked torn. He didn't want to leave his beloved Sirius and James, but at the same time, didn't want to be left alone with their continous brawling.

"You can come too, Peter." I offered.

Peter looked torn. "I don't… I don't know."

"Suit yourself." I almost reached for Remus' hand and had to remind myself that our bond was not like that. We were just friends. Swallowing against the rush of heat that flooded to my face, I walked with him down the narrow steps towards the front door.

"You've got a lot on your mind again." Remus observed as we unlocked the door and stepped outside into the cool night air.

My eyes drifted to the black mass of the Forbidden Forest. Were He-Who-Must-Be-Named's supporters congregating there tonight for another meeting?  
And Julian. Where had he taken me? Was Folsom Mara's father? Who was this 'Master'? Why did my necklace give me a vision of the past? How come Angelina's memory haunted me?

And then there were other things to think about. Would I be on the Quidditch team again this year? How would the Slug Club affect my already-busy schedule? How soon could I be a fully-fledged Animagus like Sirius? Would Lily's affection for my cousin blossom into something more? Something like what could have been between me and Sean… or me and Remus?

"Hey." Remus said, jerking me out of my storm of thoughts. "You've got that look again."

"What look?" I asked drilly as we walked down the overgrown stone pathway, long, wild grass swaying in the night breeze beside us.

Remus smiled. "When you're really deep in thought, or when you have a lot on your mind, you do this… faraway stare. It's more of a half-frown, half-stare. And you're so quiet. It's very distinct."

I blushed at his words. To cover for my embarrassment, I shook out my long hair and tied it back into a loose ponytail with a spare hair tie I always kept on my right wrist. "Oh. Well, I'm sorry I'm so easy to read."

"You're not." Remus amended. "You're a mystery. I wish I could read your thoughts. I wonder what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours."

I could hardly believe he was talking to me like this, especially after he'd made it clear we were to be just friends. "Remus."

"What?" He asked. "I can't pay my best friend a well-deserved compliment?"  
I eyed him seriously. "As long as that's all it is."

Remus nodded earnestly. "Of course."

I still didn't completely believe him, but it was easier to swallow his words as truth. We continued at a leisurely pace around the vacant fields. It seemed that even animals avoided this area. The navy blue sky was filled to bursting with stars; it seemed that there was more white starlight than night sky.

"They're beautiful." I observed as we walked underneath an ancient oak tree.

"They make me appreciate Astronomy class, at least." Remus remarked. As he talked, my eyes traveled down his face to his throat. I noticed the pulsating divot of his strong heartbeat at the apex of his collarbone, unconcealed by his shirt. Even though he was lean, I could tell he possessed a well-defined, muscular body. He had grown taller too, and now hovered around five foot ten. And he was _still _growing. His scars weren't as visible in the pale moonlight, and his sandy-brown hair was in need of a haircut. But the careless, shaggy locks suited him well. His hands were larger, so different from when we had first met three years ago, resting at his side. He had been boyish then, barely over the threshold of puberty. I knew they would be more like my dad's hands now. Rougher, stronger, more calloused. Protective.

I wondered how well my own hand - small, compact, but calloused from my active and outdoorsy life - would fit inside of his. They had become especially tough last year after months of holding onto the handle of my broomstick during Quidditch. My left hand twitched at my side, nearly reaching for his hand.

I realized what was happening just before I did anything rash and stupid. I shook my head hard, trying to clear away the dizzying array of emotions. _Stop this, Amber. Stop it right now. He's not your boyfriend. He's just your friend. Your close, best friend. Like a brother._

Remus noticed my intimate perusal of his body and glanced down at me. I hadn't realized that we had stopped moving underneath the oak tree. We stood side to side. Remus smiled down at me again, in a way that made my stomach clench and filled me with warm flutters like I'd ingested swarming butterflies.

I clenched my hands into fists at my sides, my lips pressing together hard. _I can't love him like a brother when I don't want him to think of me as a sister._

But I couldn't love him my way, either. He wouldn't allow it.

And I had too much going on right now to deal with the implications of what would happen if I crossed the line again. Pain killed the butterflies as I remembered with a flash what had happened last time I had made the first move. After I'd kissed him, he'd rejected me. The healing wounds still burned raw at the memory.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, his electric-lime eyes so animal-like in the darkness.

_I love you_. I wanted to confess. _I'm falling in love with you and I'm absolutely crazy for you, Remus. I want to be your girlfriend. I'm scared I'm going to lose you again, either to another girl or to death. I want to spend my life with you. I love you._

But instead, I said in a falsely bright voice, "I'm just tired. I've got a lot on my mind."

Remus studied me intently, but I didn't look away. "Amber…"

"Hey!" James shouted from behind us. We looked over at the same time to see him, Sirius, and Peter hurrying forward. James still had his antlers, but one eye was now swelling shut.

"Got your fill of carnage for the night?" I asked blandly.

"I think so." James said, winking at me through his glasses. "Hey, I heard Honeydukes might have an unlocked back door. Let's go check it out."

I glanced at Remus, but he wasn't looking at me. "Sure. Sounds like fun."

"Perfect. Let's go!" James shouted, and pushed Sirius roughly. "Screw you, Padfoot!"

Sirius shoved him back, grinning. "Screw you, Prongs!"

They tore off at breakneck speed toward the village of Hogsmeade. Peter waddled after them desperately.

"Guys, wait!" He wailed, hurrying after them, leaving me and Remus alone again.

"Shall we?" He asked, grinning.

I sighed. "I suppose."

We followed the other Marauders, walking in tandem. We were close enough to touch, close enough to hold hands, but we did not. I refused to be the one to cross that unspoken, invisible line again.

* * *

The first month of term flashed by in a disconcerting blur of endless classes, homework, and study groups. It was hard to find time for the Marauders when Lily insisted on bringing me with her to every "girl's night" in the castle, which consisted of her and a group of several other fourth-years congregating by the lake after classes and before dinner every day. They all chattered and giggled like raucous squirrels. Most of the time, they painted nails, played with hair, and talked about boys. Boys, boys, boys. That was all they ever wanted to discuss.

They always chose a particularly comfortable location on the water's edge underneath a large beech tree. It offered shade as well as some privacy. They didn't usually provide refreshments like the boys did, but I didn't mind. Though I hardly ever spoke, it was interesting to listen and observe the group of girls. They were completely different from the Marauders. Even though our group consisted of five steady members within an inner circle, these girls were markedly contrasted. They always _always _traveled in packs, even Lily. It seemed impossible for them to separate themselves from the entity of "the girl pack".

Perhaps it was because they didn't want to be singled out by boys, even though that was, by far, the most common subject they talked about. They were always worried about their current crush or infatuation with celebrities who were likely to never meet them, let alone ask them out.

I found it all very silly, and more than once, tried to convey my discomfort and exasperation with my body language to Lily. She remained cheerfully ignorant. "You need to learn how to be a girl, Amber," she kept telling me, trying to place a flower wreath upon my head, which I steadfastly refused. I tried to focus my attention back to my book, which I had been half-reading as I half-listened to the constant flow of female conversation.

"I need to learn how to hide from you all." I muttered.

"What was that?" Lily asked cheerfully.

"Nothing." I mumbled, resigning myself to my fate.

One day, at the beginning of October, summer made one final hurrah. The air heated until students abandoned their black robes in exchange for lighter, more breathable shirts and pants or skirts. As soon as they could, they removed their confining shoes and socks to let their overheated feet cool down.

Lily and I were on our way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was a Thursday, so it was a double block. The hot air was heavy with humidity and prevented us from feeling any sort of relief when a thick wind blew in sluggishly from a window.

"This is awful." Lily moaned, pulling at her hair, which was almost halo-like with flyaways. "It feels like the end of July, not October first!"

I grinned, amused at her expense. Lily wasn't vain, but she always tried to look her best. When even magic failed her, she was in hopeless despair over her dark red hair. There was nothing that could be done.

"Just embrace it." I told her bracingly, unwilling to look into a mirror to see what my own hair would look like. It was probably wild enough by now to be a danger to anything that flew overhead.

Lily laughed once as we entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. I wished we could have been down in the dungeons for once, as much as I loathed Potions. The permanently cold air would have been perfect on a day like today. But of course, only the Slytherins would enjoy a respite from the heat.

Professor Smith's daughter, Mara, was at the front of the classroom, a pair of half-moon spectacles very much like Dumbledore's perched on her nose. She had her dark chestnut brown hair twisted up into a bun today, and I was momentarily stunned at how much she resembled her mother.

Lily chose a seat and I sat beside her, wincing as I realized my thighs would stick to the chair like a band-aid when I tried to get up. Mara was busy shuffling and reshuffling a stack of paper on her podium; I could hear the telltale rustle of parchment.

"Quidditch tryouts start this weekend." Lily mentioned casually as she tried to copy Mara's hairdo.

"I know." I responded as I pulled out a roll of fresh parchment and a quill.

"Are you going to try out?" She asked.

I slid a glance over at her. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Lily shrugged. She succeeded in pulling her fox-red hair into a messy bun. It wasn't as clean as Mara's, but the look suited her. "I was just curious. I thought maybe with Slug Club you'd be too busy to play this year."

I gave an unladylike snort. "Lily, _nothing _is going to stop me from playing Quidditch. Trust me, I'd like nothing better than to flatten James and Sirius and snag the Cup."

Lily didn't wince or groan at the mention of James' name, which was a change. I knew he hadn't stopped bothering her, but Lily had apparently resorted to pretending he didn't exist. I hadn't seen much of the boys in nearly a month, thanks to Lily's interference. I was grateful to her in a way, but at the same time, craved the silliness and daring of the Marauders. I missed sneaking out of the Ravenclaw Common Room after hours and meeting with them in various parts of the castle or grounds.

Lily watched James and Sirius jostle into the classroom, laughing at each other loudly and making a scene. Peter was right behind them, their second shadow. The three boys dropped unceremoniously into the back row, their favorite section, and made an even louder ruckus.

Remus wasn't with them.

"He's sick again." Lily murmured. "I wish there was something we could do for him."

Lily was one of the very few who knew the truth behind Remus' monthly absences. She cast an irritated look at James and Sirius as they sent a paper swan flying and then burst it into a million pieces of glittering confetti.

"I heard they're working on a cure for his condition." I said. "And he's taking something to help with the pain."

Unfortunately, the medication wasn't helping. Not anymore. Remus had felt reduced pain for the first few months after taking the wolfsbane pills, but now, he said their effectiveness was fading.

I missed him, especially when I knew he was hurting.

"When was full moon?" Lily asked me in a very quiet tone.

I grimaced. "Two days ago."

Three days was usually how long it took him to recover enough to attend classes again.

The last of the students filed in, and Mara looked up from her podium. Her dark green eyes flashed and she stepped into the center of the room. Immediately, all of the male voices silenced. Mara possessed a strange, unique ability among all the Hogwarts staff to garner the undivided attention of anyone who possessed a Y chromosome. I glanced behind him and sniggered at the sick calf look that had come upon Peter's face, and the spellbound expressions upon James and Sirius'.

Lily nudged me, and I turned away, devoting my eyes to Mara.

"Welcome." She said in her bright, clear voice. She drew out her black wand and smiled charmingly. "Hot out, isn't it?"  
The class gave an unanimous groan of agreement. Mara's grin widened, revealing perfect white teeth.

"I take that as a yes. In that case, everyone take off your shoes, extra clothing, and get comfortable. Today's lecture will be more of a storytelling. And by storytelling, I mean campfire horror stories. Everyone take a pillow and get comfortable near the front of the room."

At her words, the long black shutters slammed over the windows that allowed harsh sunlight to stream through. The room was plunged into total darkness. But then the candles overhead in the chandelier glowed, and gave off dim but revealing iridescence.

"I guess we've got the day off from note-taking." Lily remarked, just as Mara said loudly over the din of moving students, "and you _may _want to take notes, if you want to pass the next exam!"

But no one complained. Mara was much cooler than any other teacher on staff, and most thought of her as a charming tutor rather than a fully-fledged education. Her gaze caught mine and she winked. I blushed, remembering the humiliation of having to be rescued by her when I had slept-walked into the middle of the Forbidden Forest.

"Come on." Lily said encouragingly, grabbing a large pouf from a stack Mara had conjured near the front of the room and choosing a spot. I obeyed and followed her. James and Sirius and Peter stayed in the back, but I could still see James watching the back of Lily's head with an odd expression on his face. I blinked, recognizing that look. It was the same expression I'd seen on Remus the other night underneath the oak tree. And before, right after I'd kissed him.

It was longing. Hopeless, yearning desire for someone out of your reach. Probably forever.

Biting my lip against the rising tide of hurt, I tried not to think of Remus and our current status as just friends and instead focused on Mara. The class had formed a half-circle around her. She was perched in a cushy-looking burgundy chaise, her almost-black eyes reflecting the dim glow of the candles like the night sky. Every male in the class was utterly entranced.

"Today," Mara began, her eyes obsidian in the dim lighting of the room, "I'm going to be telling you about the Dark Arts, and how it came to be in not only the Wizarding world, but all across humanity."


	56. The Dark Arts

**Greetings my loyal readers! I apologize that it's taken 4 weeks for an update but it's been a very busy August! I read the first half of the Cursed Child and I'm not too thrilled with the story. It has a good plot but I wish they had taken the time to convert the screenplay into prose. I also think that A Very Potter Musical is a much better, happier adaptation of HP and recommend that over the CC. As always, I look forward to reading your feedback and comments and am so humbled to have this story to share with you. Happy reading!**

* * *

"This story I'm about to tell you involves events from long ago. But they're all true. Of course, you could say the same thing about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, and most of you would scoff. But take what you will from what I'm about to tell you. It is time-honored wizarding folklore, and it plays a major part in the whole reason my subject is taught at Hogwarts."

"You'll be telling us about the Dark Arts?" Lily asked aloud without raising her hand. I looked at her in surprise. Lily wasn't usually one to blurt out things.

"Yes." Mara said. "And more importantly, I'll tell you their history and how it concerns the threats we face today. Look in today's Daily Prophet. Think about last year. Disappearances. Murders. Violence. Most of it in our world is done in accordance with the Dark Arts. Part of your education is know the structure and the why's and how's of magic."

A sudden breeze flickered the candles in the chandelier, followed by a soft keening noise. Several students looked around in alarm. How was there a breeze, when the windows were all firmly sealed and closed?

Mara's dark eyes glinted eerily. "If anyone feels like they need to leave at any time during my lesson, then you may go. However, I strongly advise you to remain in order to make the most of what you are about to learn."

I noticed Peter start to get up, but James and Sirius pulled him back down and flank him like a pair of parent birds with their chick. Peter looked extremely nervous. Mara ignored his obvious discomfort and drew out her wand, giving it a casual flick. A tiny spark of orange appeared in front of her, floating in the air.

"The Dark Arts have always existed." She began, and the orange spot was joined by a bright blue one. They bounced up and down in harmony, mimicking each other, drawn together like magnets. "Evil is a byproduct of good. In this way, the Dark Arts are the same. They exist with Good Magic, like counterparts of the same whole. The Dark Arts themselves is not evil by definition. However… Dark magic is most often used for evil, and not good. It is any type of magic that is used to harm, control, or even death to the victim. They span many labels and types of magic, including Potions, spells, and creatures."

As she spoke, the dots burst and multiplied into hundreds of tiny star-like specks of reddish-orange light. The blue speck remained singular, while the swarm of fire-colored lights formed into various forms of books, spell names, potions, and creatures. The spots were forming a sort of movie, their script created by Mara's words. I watched, transfixed, with the rest of the class as she continued, the dots ever-changing and life-like.

"Dark Arts are considered 'dark' for a reason. They do not operate in ways that good magic does. Those who practice the Dark Arts, especially for prolonged periods of time, will become corrupted and assimilated by them. And the Dark Arts are not as simple as one might believe. They are ever-changing, always shifting in a new and more sinister way to overcome their enemy. Think of cutting off the head of a dragon. Each time one head is severed, another two grow in its place. And so on it goes.

"Malicious intent is required for the Dark spells. Even when casting the Imperius Curse, you must really mean to seek to do harm and wrongdoing to the victim. Have you ever wondered how someone may suffer under the Imperius Curse? It is not about inflicting pain, but imposing your will over the life of another. In this way, overpowering someone else's life with the force of your own makes the Imperius Curse absolutely Unforgivable."

The orange dots moved. The blue ones multiplied, creating the images of two men in two different colors. The image of a man casting the Imperius Curse appeared before our eyes. I shivered as an chill raced across my flesh, as if winter had breathed its air upon me. But no one was paying any attention to anyone except Mara.

"In addition to those who dare to practice the Dark Arts, one must realize how difficult they are to control. Trying to control them is like trying to control a Basilisk. Though they may show some form of deference and subordination, they always have a mind and will of their own."

Instantly, I remembered seeing the giant snake hissing ominously at Folsom, down in the freezing bowels of the castle. I shivered harder, the spots of light dancing before Mara and her class making me dizzy.

"Injuries inflicted by the Dark Arts are difficult, sometimes impossible, to treat and cure. For example, when bitten by a basilisk, the injury can only be healed by Phoenix tears, which as you well know, are incredibly rare. If you are struck by the Cruciatus Curse, only the caster can relinquish the pain, if they ever do. The Killing Curse is unavoidable, and will always result in death by murder. And as you all know, murder is the supreme act of evil. Killing tears apart what lives inside of you, what makes you human. This is how the Dark Arts can rip apart your soul, by committing the worst acts against the laws of nature.

"It is my job this year to teach you how to defend yourselves from the constant threat of the Dark Arts. Even though they are not evil by definition and can sometimes (but rarely) be used for good, we live in a world where people are selfish and cruel and seek power. We also live in a time when evil is on the rise and the followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named heavily practice the Dark Arts. I can teach you spells and Charms, antidotes and theories. I can teach you how to recognize a Dark creature and the defenses to use against it. However, I cannot defend you from yourselves. Yes, I am speaking of your own volitions and your own weaknesses. Many of you in this room seek glory, power, or protection. And some of you will be tempted to practice the Dark Arts for your own benefit."

There was a quiet collective gasp of horror and disbelief from my classmates. I glanced around, spotting Peter clutching at James and Sirius like a lifeline. He looked a little green and as if he might be sick.

I closed my eyes, a dull pounding beginning to intensify into a steady splitting in my skull. I wished Remus was here. His very presence was always a balm of comfort to me, and right now, I was feeling like _I _would be the one to be sick. Not Peter.

"Your only true defense against the temptation to practice or follow the Dark Arts is love." Mara said gravely. "Not the schoolyard puppy love that many of you are familiar with. No… I am speaking of real love, that entails sacrifice, kindness, mercy, grace, and humility. I can do my best to ensure you are properly armed and versed in combat, but your only real hope is found in your ability to love. And to listen to me.

"Now, if you have any questions about anything I have just said, you may raise your hand."

I saw a flurry of hands immediately shoot into the air. Mara called upon someone, but I wasn't hearing them anymore. I closed my eyes as a powerful chill surged over me, as if I had been dunked into the churning, cold waters of the ocean. Goosebumps erupted across my flesh, and I clenched my fists into my palms. I could feel my bitten nails digging into my flesh. I tried to focus on my breathing, but I was finding it hard to focus on anything but the sensation of falling head-over-heels in a freefall. It felt as if I had been pitched out of the sky and was somersaulting hopelessly toward the dark, turbulent water far below.

_Why do I feel this way? _I thought hopelessly, focusing very hard on not vomiting. _Why do I feel like I'm about to die?_

The necklace twitched on my chest, and I saw it again: the scene Julian had brought to me with his ghostly touch down in the green-black cavern beneath the school. Again, the mention of 'Lord Voldemort' (I shuddered to think of the name) and 'The Master'...

My eyes popped open. I raised my shaking hand, not even aware of the fact that Mara was in the midst of answering someone else's question. Her dark eyes connected with mine, her expression half-expectant, half-concerned.

"...Yes, Miss Harkstone?" She inquired after she finished answering someone else's question.

I swallowed against the dryness in my mouth and throat. "Professor, do you know of anyone named 'The Master'?"

The entire class had fallen silent again. I knew James, Sirius, and Peter were staring at me. They were the only ones aside from Remus who I had confided in. Mara frowned, her lovely face filled with befuddlement.

"Well… there are two examples I can think of. The first is 'Death'. Death, in most areas of Dark Magic, is considered the True Master over the Dark Arts, even though it's not inherently evil, as I've said. In addition, it seems silly to give 'Death' a solid, tangible form, but again, this is folklore and guesswork.

"The second has even less credibility. But by chance, who in this room has heard the Tales of Beedle the Bard?"

Nearly every hand went up, with the exception of five students, who were most likely Muggle-raised.

"Well, in the Tales of Beedle the Bard, there is a story about three brothers. They each cheated Death when they were supposed to drown in a river, but since they were magical, they conjured a bridge with their wands to cross. Death was cunning and pretended to be impressed. He gave each of the brothers a reward for besting him. A wand for the eldest brother, a stone for the middle, and a cloak for the youngest. Legend says that the wielder of all three Hallows is the 'Master' of Death. Then again, that could just as easily mean that the true 'Master' is really Death himself, since the objects are merely mythical. And as I've just said, Death doesn't have a true form. So I can't really give you a direct answer for your question."

I had thought asking a question would have distracted me from my tornado of roiling emotions and sensations. To my dismay, at her words, I felt sicker than ever. Nodding once, I rose to my feet and hurried out of the room. The spinning intensified, and I barely made it into the girls' lavatories to bend over the toilet and retch.

When it was over, the nausea was gone, but I felt as if I had just missed several steps going down a flight of stairs. Trembling, I sat with my legs hugged to my chest, damp forehead pressed against my knees while the awful sensations slowed.

What had happened? Was I coming down with a bout of illness? Or was I really infected with dragon pox after all?

I heard someone enter the lavatories and wasn't surprised when Lily dropped to her knees a moment later outside my stall, her long curtain of dark red hair touching the floor. Her green eyes pierced me, and I gave a wan smile.

Lily crawled underneath the space between the stall door and the floor and sat across from me. It was cramped, but it was comforting to have her presence with me.

"What's going on?" She asked.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I'm not sure. I haven't felt right in awhile. I think it's just stress."

Lily bit her lip. "Are you… pregnant?"

I gasped. Lily's face turned pink, but she crossed her arms defiantly.

"What?" She demanded. "I know you and Remus love each other, and I don't know if you two are sneaking around, doing this or that…"

"I'm _not _pregnant!" I retorted hotly, pain temporarily forgotten in the hot wake of embarrassed rage. "I'm a virgin, thank you very much! And I plan on remaining one until I am married! I can't believe you'd even ask me something like that!"

Lily narrowed her eyes, sweeping her hair behind her ears in a dignified way. "I was only asking. I just wish you'd feel like you could be more honest and open with me."

I glared at her, torn between anger and gratitude. I tugged at the necklace absently, strangely comforted by the motion. I could feel Lily observing me and stopped.

Her lips thinned into a flat line of disapproval. "You're always wearing that thing."

I lifted a brow. "And?"

Lily reached forward. I almost drew back, but let her examine it. It was a simple pendant on a thin gold chain, the stones (which I knew to be Harkenine stones, not true opals) glimmering like a trapped rainbow. It was tiny, the size of a dime, and Lily let it drop back against my chest after a few silent moments of scrutiny.

She leaned back, took a deep breath, and said, "I think that necklace might be a Dark object."

I stared at her, sure I'd heard wrong. Of all the things she'd said to me in the bathroom, this was definitely the most ludicrous. "Excuse me?"

Lily met my gaze squarely. "Didn't you listen to Professor Smith? Amber, think about it. You never used to be sick or emotionally drained until you started wearing this necklace. I think you should take it off."

I held it protectively, thinking of Virginia and how this was my last piece of her. "No. For once, I think you're wrong, Lily."

Lily's mouth parted slightly. In all of our friendship, most of the time, I agreed with Lily's logic and reasoning. But for once, I disagreed with her. Heartily.

"I think," she said in an even voice, "you should at least show it to her."

"I've already showed it to her mother, and Dumbledore." I told her. "They said it was nothing. Just a copy of a rare piece of history."

"Do you honestly believe that?" Lily said in disbelief. "Amber, come on. Look at all that's happened in you. I don't believe it for an instant that this necklace is just any old knock-off of jewelry. I think it might be the real deal."

A cold trickle of sweat ran down between my shoulder blades. I didn't want to believe her. But it had indeed crossed my mind a few times that maybe Professor Smith and Professor Dumbledore were wrong.

Or had lied to me.

"You're wrong." I said reflexively, because I didn't want to face the shades of truth in her words. "I don't want to talk about this right now, Lily. I've got enough on my mind."

Lily looked troubled. "Let me at least help you. Let me wear the necklace for awhile, and see if anything happens to me."

But I shied away from her words even more. The idea of parting with my necklace made me think of parting with my last remnant of my dead sister. "I can't do that, Lily."

Lily twisted her hair into a ponytail. "You've got to let me help you _somehow_. I don't like this. It's like it's possessing you. Or taking your energy. It's just not right, Amber. I don't like this."

Sighing, I unclasped the necklace and handed it over to her. Lily's eyebrows lifted in surprise as she took it from my proffered hands. She looped it around her own neck and let it dangle. I watched, feeling a dull sense of loss as if someone had taken my wand.

"Well?" Lily asked shrewdly, as if she could read my thoughts. "Feel anything?"

"Just wish I could have my sister's necklace back." I said half-heartedly.

Lily gave a sad smile. "Let me wear it for a week and see if anything happens to me. Maybe you'll feel better without it."

"Maybe." I said, watching the bright Harkenine jewels wink in the dim light of the lavatories. I tried not to think about how naked I felt without it, or how much I wanted to rip it away from my best friend.

"Good." Lily said matter-of-factly, rising to her feet in the cramped space. "Let's go see if we can find Remus and make sure he's okay."

* * *

The first weekend of October was upon Hogwarts once again, which meant that Quidditch tryouts were also in full-swing. This year, the tryouts seemed to be more popular than ever, since Mara Smith, the famous Chaser for the Montrose Magpies, was in attendance.

She was hovering in mid-air near Madam Hooch, chatting animatedly, as I walked down onto the pitch with my Silver Arrow. Already, the stadium was packed to the seams with hopeful future Quidditch players. I caught the familiar faces of a handful of Ravenclaws from last year's team. I recognized Artemis Powell, now a seventh-year, as well as Ceres Amorin and Kirkley Switch. Anna Noyes, Sebastian Smethley, and Nemo Stevens had all graduated last year.

I felt a stab of disappointment and longing when I remembered that Sean too had graduated and gone off to become a professional (but amateur) Seeker for the Falmouth Falcons, the same Quidditch team that my own father had played for before giving it up quickly after joining in order to work at the Ministry of Magic. The thought brought up a slew of questions… including one that Minnie had pointed out at my birthday party two months prior.

_Why _had _Dad given up his dream job in professional Quidditch? And why didn't he like to talk about it, even years later? _

I tried to ignore the butterflies that rose inside of me at the memory of Sean and I coming out to the deserted Quidditch pitch several times a week before the tryouts last year in order to teach me how to fly, and how to play the popular broom game itself. We had spent countless hours here, alone, sharpening my skills as a flier and deepening our own friendship. And he had tried to make it more than just friendship, when he had almost kissed me on the Ferris wheel in August.

I shook my head to try and clear it. _Enough. _It was bad enough that Remus wrought such emotions out of me. I would be damned if I was going to let Sean do it too.

"Hey, Harkstone!" Kirkley Switch called, waving me over to where he stood with Ceres Amorin and Artemis Powell. I went over semi-sheepishly, still aware that all of them were seventh-years and I was just a fourth-year. Even Artemis towered over me.

"Hi, guys." I said, smiling at each other them. After I had scored a measly ten-points in the first game we'd played as a team, it had won us the match. It hadn't been enough to win us the Cup, which had gone to Hufflepuff, largely because of Sean's skill as Seeker. Gryffindor had nearly snatched it from them, but Sean had been too good of a player to allow them to take the glory.

But now that he was gone, I had a feeling that James and Sirius might try to secure the win for themselves. I tightened my grip on my broomstick as a sudden and powerful rush of rivalry coursed through me. Yes, we were friends, and Marauders. But that didn't mean that we were in the same House. And I felt a brutal urge to secure Ravenclaw's victory with the Cup.

"How was your summer?" Ceres asked genially. He had shaved his hair into a sort of mohawk, and the punk look suited him. Artemis certainly seemed to approve, as she could not take her eyes off of him and blushed whenever he looked her way.

"It was alright." I answered. "Very busy. I lifeguarded with Silva Higgs."

"Ah, Silva." Ceres and Kirkley sighed, and I saw Artemis's face change as if she'd stepped in dog poop. "I wish we could have been in need of rescuing."

"Get in line." I said dryly, remembering the curious pattern of near-drownings only when Silva took the lifeguard chair.

"So," Artemis said bracingly, now ignoring Ceres and focusing on me, "did you practice at all this summer?"

I blinked. "I mean… I did. Yeah. Why?"

"Well, I think we'd all like to stay together, right Kirkley?" She asked. Kirkley grinned, and for the first time I noticed a Captain's badge on his lapel.

"You made Captain!" I gasped. "Congratulations!"

Kirkley grinned, not much of a talker but still looking pleased with his new position. "Thanks, Harkstone. I'd really hate to lose you as a Chaser, but I've got to see everyone who wants to try out. Give it your best, alright?"

"I will." I promised, feeling excitement and adrenaline coursing through me like electricity. I spotted James and Sirius not far, chatting to a large group of girls from all Houses.

"Looks like they're holding court." Artemis said drilly.

"Come on." Kirkley said, gesturing to the field. "We're up first this year. Oh, wow."

I saw why he'd grimaced. It looked like half of Ravenclaw House had come out to try their luck at making the Quidditch team.

Kirkley sighed, signaling for us to rise into the air. I mounted my Silver Arrow and rose clumsily into the air. It had been a month since I'd on my broomstick, and it took getting used to after being on the ground for so long.

"Watch it, Harkstone!" Ceres laughed as he zoomed by. I scowled and steadied myself, catching sight of Remus and Lily in the packed stands. Peter was beside them. They waved. I raised my hand to wave back, but nearly rolled off my broom. I held on upside-down by my fingertips, listening to Lily scream in fright.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" I shouted shakily, righting myself back up. I shuddered and focused on remaining centered and upright. Remus looked annoyed. I grinned shamelessly and followed after the rest of my team, already tingling with intense excitement.

"Can you stay on your broom, Harkstone?" Artemis asked, rolling her eyes.

I shrugged. "I'll try, but I make no promises."

Kirkley blew on his whistle and the Ravenclaw hopefuls swarmed around him in a semi-circle. "Alright, let's try a basic passing and scoring maneuver with the Chasers."

Surprised at how quickly we were starting, I broke away from the rest of the team along with ten other Ravenclaws. I recognized Miriam Tring, who gave me a cursory look before moving her gaze away. Zoey MacDonald was hovering across from me, her eyes pinning me in place. She had been Angelina's best friend, and the look she gave me clearly conveyed that she wished I had been the Ravenclaw girl who had died, not Angelina.

I was digesting this disturbing thought and wasn't paying attention. I barely registered the fact that Kirkley had tossed me the Quaffle until it hit me in the face.

I let out a gasp of pain and barely caught the ball as it fell. My face burned where the Quaffle had impacted my cheek. It already felt hot and raised. Kirkley looked horrified.

"Harkstone! Are you alright?"

"Yeah." I said weakly, bravely attempting a laugh, even though my eyes were watering. "Just warn me next time, okay?"

"Try to focus." Kirkley advised, and I felt a rush of heated anger as Zoey snickered into her palm.

"Alright, let's try to keep this in the air, alright? Pass it along as quickly as you can in a circle, and on my whistle, you need to move into a formation and pass it through the hoops. Everyone call out your name when you get the Quaffle so we'll know your names. We'll play for ten minutes, and the best three will become my new Chasers. Alright?"

The other Ravenclaws passed the ball around. Zoey passed it to Artemis, who passed to me. I threw it to a boy called Keaton Whifferdill. Halwyn Froggatt, Gaspard Sidebottom, Tobias Ridgebit, Iris Orpington, Thelma Ellis, and Lucy Dunstan were all hopefuls for the Chaser positions. Kirkley blew on his whistle after a few minutes and we broke off into formation. Artemis and I paired off easily, already well-attuned to each other's habits and preferred notions of play. It felt like just another practice with Sean, and the thought of him made fresh heat rush through me, though not at all unpleasantly. I remembered how he tried unsuccessfully to kiss me on my birthday, how Remus had intervened, and my grip on the broom handle of my Silver Arrow tightened. What was I going to do about that boy? About either of them?

Preoccupied again, I nearly got hit by the Quaffle again when Tobias hurled it with all his might. I caught it with a puff of exertion and shot it through a hoop. It felt like only a minute later when Kirkley blew his whistle yet again and summoned us back.

"That's enough for Chaser tryouts. Dunstan, you look like you might be better off as a Seeker. Why don't you try for that position? And Ridgebit, you should think about Keeper. The rest of you, good work. I'll let you know tomorrow by dinner who's on the roster."

I pulled my Silver Arrow to the ground and dismounted, surprised at how quickly tryouts had passed. I frowned, hoping that a quick trial had meant that Kirkley Switch had already seen his new team and picked them out. I crossed my fingers, praying that I'd again made the cut.

Remus and Lily moved aside for me as I took a seat in their row high up in the stadium. Lily winced. "Your cheek."

I shrugged. "I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks."

"It's going to bruise." Remus said, drawing his wand and pointing it at my face. "_Episkey."_

There was a sensation of burning hot, then freezing cold on my face. I touched my cheek gingerly, but it felt as if there had never been an injury.

"Thanks, Remus!" I said, impressed. "Where did you learn that?"

He stowed his wand, not meeting my eyes. "Madam Pomfrey's used it on me loads of times."

"You did great!" Lily said happily, changing the subject. "How do you feel?"

"It was hard to tell if I did any good or not." I admitted. "It was so quick. I guess Kirkley knows what he wants. Anna took her time choosing her new teammates." I leaned my broomstick against the empty seats in front us. Even though the tryouts were always interesting and entertaining, my mind couldn't stop wandering elsewhere. I spotted Regulus Black in a cluster of other green-and-silver clad Slytherins down on the pitch and felt my hands curl into fists. I couldn't forget what Logan Avery and Edward Nott had done on the train ride into Hogsmeade. For whatever insane reason, I had agreed to hear them out on a proposition. They offered to become allies. To forget the past and forge an allegiance. Just like that.

I shook my head at the troubling memory. They were supporters of the Dark Mark and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, as well as strong believers in his philosophy that Muggles should be dominated by wizard-kind, once again, and once-and-for-all. Why had they offered to make peace with me? Surely, it had to been a hoax. A false offer of allegiance. But for what?

"Well, I'm famished." I announced, my hunger already returning despite my breakfast. "Want to join me in Hogsmeade? I'm really craving some blueberry-flavored Beans from Honeydukes."

Lily nodded. Remus, however, shook his head. "Not yet. I want to wait for James and Sirius."

I glanced down at the pitch. The two boys were holding court, surrounded by a crowd of awed onlookers as they demonstrated different Quidditch moves. James ruffled up the back of his untidy hair, making it stick up even more. I noticed several girls titter and giggle. I rolled my eyes.

"You have fun." I told Remus dryly. I wasn't a fan of James' new habit, which seemed to elicit a female reaction every time he did it. "Lily?"

Lily nodded tersely and followed me out of the stadium. The air was cool and seasonable and felt good as it streamed through my hair. I knew it was a mess from flying and wasn't surprised to see Lily offer me a hair band. I tied it back so that the long, wild tresses of blonde hair were temporarily tamed.

"You know, I'm surprised you haven't asked me to help you with that." Lily said after a moment of silence. "I could straighten it for you in a second. Or shape the curls."

I chuckled. "Maybe for the next ball or something."

"Or your first date?" Lily asked hopefully as we made our way into the castle so that I could change into my uniform.

I snorted. "Sure. That'll happen when the sun rises in the west."

Lily shook her head, looking determined. "Just you wait. I know Remus still fancies you. And I'll bet my wand that Sean isn't done with you yet, either. Trust me, Amber. You're dateable material."

I groaned. "Lily, please. I've already told you. I'm not interested in dating _anyone. _I've got too much on plate as it is." Besides, I wasn't sure I wanted to risk my friendship with either boy. If a relationship didn't work out, I didn't want to face the possibility of losing their trust and companionship forever. And Remus' ridiculous but firm stance on our feelings wasn't helping Lily's case.

I listened to her jabber on about classes and her other friends. She was mentioning Severus less and less and she never smiled anymore when she spoke of him. Deciding to prod her conscience, I asked, "are you and Severus alright?"

We had just left the castle again, as I had changed out of my Ravenclaw Quidditch robes and into my school uniform. Lily's somber expression deepened.

"You know," she said softly, her brilliant green eyes dull with pain, "I'm not sure anymore, to be honest. He's been so distant this year. And you know how he's been hanging around with that Slytherin gang. You said something last year about him being in with the wrong crowd. I'm starting to think that maybe you were right. And it might be too late."

My heart ached for the look of devastation on her face. "It's not, Lily. He can still choose to leave behind those goons. He might be involved with the Dark Arts, but I know he cares about you." Even if he was a creep.

Lily let out a long sigh and curled a lock of dark red hair behind her ear. "I don't know. He's been my best friend since we were little kids. I just feel that we're all changing, you know? And he's going down a path that I can't follow. He likes the Dark Arts too much." She hugged her arms around her middle. "Amber, I'm afraid I'm going to lose him for good."

I studied her profile carefully. With a shock, I realized just why this was affecting her so much. Hadn't I felt the same sense of despair over Remus?  
"I think you might have some romantic feelings for him" I said quietly. Lily's face bloomed with hot color and she immediately trained her eyes on me like a sniper's gun on a target.

"I… what? Love Severus? No! I mean, not like that. No, no, you're wrong. That would be too weird, Amber! He's like my brother. I have feelings for Harry that I've never had for anyone. But… no… I can't…"

I watched her silently as she battled the onslaught of emotions. She faced me again, looking horrorstruck.

"Oh, no. Don't you see? He loves the Dark Arts, Amber. Not me. And even if I did have feelings for him (not that I do), I certainly don't think he and I are in any place to take our friendship further. It would be too much."

"Now you know how I feel about Remus." I muttered, giving her a small smile. "I don't think you should punish yourself for loving Severus."

"I _don't _love him like that!" Lily insisted.

"Alright." I conceded. "But you do love him."  
Lily's mouth opened and then closed again. "Yes." She admitted softly.

"Then talk to him." I suggested. "Give him a chance to mend what he's done wrong. And if that doesn't work… then, you're going to have to decide if you want him in your life anymore or not."

Lily blew out a gusty breath and dragged in another one. "Oh, this is so hard. No one tells you how difficult growing up will be, do they?"

I gave a short laugh. "I guess not. If they told us, we'd probably all run screaming for the hills."

Lily cheered up after that, seeming to have gotten what was bothering her off of her chest. She talked animatedly all the way down the road into Hogsmeade about her plans for taking over the positions of Potions master once Professor Slughorn retired someday in the near future. She mentioned wanting to marry young and start a family. She wanted five children, no less and no more. She also broached the subject of a living situation once we turned seventeen and graduated Hogwarts.

"We should really be roommates." Lily said as we entered the gates of Hogsmeade. A great stone arch opened up into the cluster of stone buildings, a black wrought-iron sign bearing the image of a large boar swinging lightly in the autumn breeze. It read "_Please respect the spell limits" _below the image of the boar.

"What do you mean?" I asked her as we meandered past other Hogwarts students towards the Three Broomsticks. "Roommates?"

"Yeah." Lily said as we entered the cathedral-like pub. "We could rent a small house or a flat in Hogsmeade. That way, I could teach at the school and you could have a place of your own when you start playing professional Quidditch. No parents, just us. A bachelorette pad. I think it would be fun."

I contemplated the idea of sharing a living space with Lily. I hadn't really thought too much of how I'd leave the nest. I'd spent my entire life living with my parents and sisters in the same bungalow in the same small town. It seemed silly - almost hypocritical - to feel a bubble of panic at the thought of leaving them. Already, I spent the majority of my time away from them at Hogwarts. Why should living with Lily in Hogsmeade (or any other town) be different than my current living situation?

I chewed my lip as I fought to push down the rising feelings of anxiety. Hadn't I always wanted my independence and freedom? Didn't I enjoy living at Hogwarts, away from their rules and aspirations and disappointments? Lily was closest friend, my dearest companion and like a sister. She was the one who had filled the void in my heart after Virginia had died. She sought a career as a teacher at Hogwarts, and my father's blood flowed in my veins. I knew I wanted what Sean Locke and Mara Smith had: to become a professional Quidditch player.

So why did the idea scare me so much?

"Are you alright?" Lily asked. I turned to look at her. She was watching me with a mixture of apprehension, excitement, and concern.

I forced a small smile. "I guess. I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all. You know we have O.W.L.S. next year, right? And then N.E.W.T.S."

Lily nodded sagely, taking a mug of butterbeer from Madam Rosmerta, the young, voluptuous barmaid who had graduated Hogwarts herself a few years prior and taken over The Three Broomsticks from her ailing father. So far, the business had continued to flourish, even thrive, under her direction. Privately, I knew it had to do with her looks and the way she was able to easily charm the male clients who frequented her pub.

"Hey," Lily said, sounding subdued. "You don't have to say 'yes' right away. I want you to really think this over. Make sure this is something you want to do before you take the plunge. Alright? We've still got three years of schooling to complete before we can do anything, anyway."

I took a sip from my own butterbeer, relishing the sweet, slightly salty tang that flooded my mouth. Though some preferred it hot, I liked mine ice-cold and frothing. I took another sip, louder, and giggled as Lily pointed at my foam moustache.

"You need to shave." She laughed as she tossed me a napkin.

I took another loud swig, making sure to add more foam to my upper lip. "Nah. I'm more of a natural-born girl. Hair's good for the face, you know? Keeps it safe."

Lily's eyes widened, and she shook her head frantically. I grinned wider at her expense. "What? Think I should stop shaving my armpits, too?"

"Well," said a cool male voice from behind me, "if that's the kind of girl you are, then I don't see any reason why you should."

I nearly died. Feeling as if I had been struck by a bolt of lightning, I immediately wiped off the foam as I turned and gaped up at Sean Locke, who was looking down at me with a smug grin. In the past few months, he had grown a slight beard and let his hair grow out so that it curled slightly. He looked more handsome than ever, and the double-edged sword of attraction and guilt plunged deep into my stomach.

"Sean." I managed, my mouth as dry as cotton. "What… what are you doing here?"

Sean pulled out a chair and sat down between me and Lily. "I was in the neighborhood and wanted to see my old stomping grounds. Nice to see you, Lily. You look more beautiful than ever."

Lily chuckled, rolling her eyes. "You say that to all the pretty girls, don't you?"

Sean smiled easily. "But with you two, I mean it."

I slapped at his arm while Lily giggled and helped herself to my butterbeer. "Seriously. I thought you had Quidditch with the Falmouth Falcons. Why are you in Hogsmeade? I thought you'd be booked clean through for months with the Quidditch season starting next week."

Sean's lips turned up, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "I've been practicing all summer with them. They'll be fine without me for a day. Besides, I missed you, love."

I felt warm heat rush to my face, but I also heard a tiny alarm bell in my brain. Something wasn't completely right with him. He was withholding something from me. Something important. And since when did he start calling me names other than 'Amber'?

I peered into his face, scanning his gray eyes for some sort of clue, but he looked away and waved down Madam Rosmerta. She came over at once.

"Why, if it isn't Sean Locke!" She crooned, thrusting out one hip to the side. "I thought you were off playing for the Falcons!"

"I am." Sean said, smiling at her. "Just took a much-needed day off. Can I get a firewhiskey, Rosmerta?"

My brows lifted. "Firewhiskey?"

Sean made a small noise of assent. My inhibitions rose a notch.

"That's a strong drink for this early." Lily observed, also surprised.

Sean shook his head, but he didn't look fazed. "Just enjoying an adult beverage, ladies. I saw your cousin not too long ago, Amber. He was over at Dervish and Banges' about fifteen minutes ago to get his Sneak-o-scope fixed."

Lily dropped her mug of butterbeer on the table, nearly shattering it. "Harry's here?" She squeaked, her face turning nearly the same red as her flame-colored hair. "_Here? _In Hogsmeade? Today? Are you sure?"

Sean nodded enthusiastically. "I told him I was going to get a drink here. He might stop by in awhile once he's finished with his business down the street."

Lily squealed and jumped up from her chair. "I've got to fix my hair and make sure I look alright! Amber, come with me to the ladies' room? Please! This is an emergency!"

I laughed. "Lily, you look lovely. Just relax. Harry's into you for your personality, not just your looks."

But Lily wasn't listening. "Oh, forget it!" She said breathlessly and ran for the bathrooms.

Sean snickered and trained his attention to me. Now that we were alone, I felt the heat between us rise. I couldn't forget all of the time we had spent alone last year during Quidditch practice, or what he had tried to do on the Ferris wheel at Wolfe's Neck Beach.

"You look… different." I said at last, tangling my fidgety hands in my lap and unable to meet his gaze directly. "Scruffy. Older."

Sean made a noise as Rosmerta brought him his firewhiskey. "It's a team thing. The other guys are growing out their facial hair and not cutting their hair. It's bad luck to do that during a Quidditch season."

"That's ridiculous." I retorted, but it made me think of how Dad was the same way. Beginning in the early days of September and lasting until the end of January, he rarely lifted a razor or wand to his locks or beard.

"It's professional Quidditch." Sean replied indifferently. I watched him take a long swig of his drink and make a face. Unease gnawed at my insides. Something was clearly not right with my friend.

"Is everything alright?" I asked slowly, meeting his gray eyes this time and feeling a jolt in my stomach. His eyes were intense, like a building summer storm, and I felt the energy all the way down to my toes.

"I'm fine." He insisted. "It's a transition, though, leaving school and joining the real world. There's a lot of bad stuff happening out there, stuff they don't tell you about at school. Remember what happened at the Hufflepuff Games? A lot of people are saying that's just the beginning. That we've got more bad stuff coming. It's good to have friends you can count on. Your cousin Harry's been a real sport. He and I grab drinks every once in awhile in Diagon Alley. Harry's a good guy."

"He is." I said, swelling with pride. "I really hope he and Lily end up together."

"Time will tell." Sean replied. He took another drink and gazed out of the window thoughtfully. "So, how's school been for you?"

I relaxed. _Finally, something I can talk about safely. _I proceeded to tell him all about the dementor attack on the train ride, to the first few weeks of classes and the startling amount of homework, and the tutelage of his cousin, Mara Smith, who was proving to be just as knowledgeable and formidable as her mother before her. I even mentioned the other Marauders, and how they were like brothers to me now. Even Peter, whom I still didn't know very well.

"So you and Lupin…?" Sean ventured after a solid ten-minute monologue of my recounting of my time at Hogwarts.

My hands clenched into fists underneath the table at his question. I knew what he was asking, and I knew enough to guess at what he wasn't saying aloud.

"We aren't together." I told him carefully. "But I'm not on the market, either, Sean. I haven't changed my stance on what I told you both on my birthday."

Sean shook his head woefully. "That's too bad. I still haven't given you your birthday present."

I stared at him, again disturbed by the rush of hot feelings that arrived after his words. "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me." Sean said, lifting his brow. "I'm in this for the long game. I'll wait for you, Amber. I knew from the first moment I saw you on the Hogsmeade platform that you were someone very special. And you've only cemented that first thought as I've gotten to know you. I want to be your friend, and more. I'm willing to wait for you to accept your feelings for me. You're the only girl for me. I want to protect you from all the bad things that are coming. I want you."

I could hardly breathe, let alone believe the words that he was saying to me. "Sean, I'm not playing a game, here. Don't wait around for something that may never happen."

Sean studied my face intently. "I would never hurt you, Amber. I'm not like him, like Lupin. You would never have to be careful with me. I won't turn into a horrible monster. And I want to help you achieve your dreams and support you the whole way. I've been your friend and mentor for three years. And now, I want your heart, too." He reached over and slipped his large hand through mine, his fingers brushing against mine. "I love you."  
My mouth parted. I stared into his handsome, familiar face, feeling as if I had just been hit by a Stunning Spell. I saw no sign of flattery or charm in his eyes. He was truly vulnerable, honest, sincere. With a flash of understanding, I realized now just how deeply he felt for me. And how easy it would be to do what I did with Remus all the months ago and lean forward… and take this farther than just friendship.

But that didn't change a singular, pivotal fact: when he had said those three life-altering words, it hadn't been his face or his voice my mind had seen.

It had been Remus's.

I swallowed hard and pulled back slightly, determined to put distance between me and this man who invoked so many powerful emotions inside of me. "Sean, please…"

But Sean didn't let go of my hand. "Say you love me, too. I know you do. I can see it written all over you. I've known for awhile now."

I felt a spark of indignation at his bold words. I jerked my hand back, hard. "Don't tell me how I feel, please. I'm really confused right now." I took in a rattling breath, shaken to the core. "I think I should go."

I didn't look at Sean, but I could feel his disappointment and hurt radiating to me like heat thrown from a furnace. "Amber.."

Lily bounced back into her seat at that very moment, breaking the intimate privacy of what Sean and I had just shared. I noticed that she smelled like flowers and her face had been magically erased of any sign of pimples and blemishes. Her hair was shinier, too. I didn't ask how she had primped herself up so quickly. All I knew was that I had to get out of The Three Broomsticks and away from Sean. Fast.

"Is Harry here yet?" She asked excitedly as I rose to my feet, scraping my chair back. "Amber? Are you alright?"

"I feel sick." I told her. It wasn't entirely untrue. I felt dizzy and lightheaded with the heavy weight of what had just transpired. Sean had dropped that bombshell between us, and I knew now that even if we didn't ever move into a relationship, our friendship had just been altered. Permanently.

"Want me to bring you back to the castle?" Lily offered. "I mean, I don't want you to go alone."

But at that moment, I saw James and Sirius through one of the pub's large bay windows, Remus and Peter in tow. They looked extremely gleeful and smug about something, and I dove for my lifeline.

"No, thanks." I said, throwing down a handful of money. "That should cover my drink. I'll see you later, guys." Without looking at Sean, I hurried out of The Three Broomsticks and into the sunshine of the October Saturday. I stole into the adjacent alleyway, leaning against the wall for support.

I sucked in deep breaths, fighting hard against the surging emotions rising like a tide inside of me. Sean's earnest, unguarded declaration for love completely unseated me. I was stuck in a catch-22: my love for Remus was stronger, deeper, unconditional. But it was impossible and irresponsible to wait for him to become taciturn on his stance. Meanwhile, I had a perfectly suitable professional Quidditch player and close friend professing his own feelings of love and a desire to be with me inside the very building I was leaning on for support. But how could I enter into a relationship with him, when my heart clearly longed for Remus?

_The heart wants what the heart wants. _Mum had said once. I had thought she was being silly and know-it-all, but only now did I fully appreciate the gravity of those words.

It wasn't fair. Was I doomed to be eternally unhappy, constantly torn between my affections for two worthy boys?

"This is why I don't want to date." I moaned into my hands, fighting hard not to give into my despair.

"Why's that?" said a familiar voice. I looked up from my misery into the face of Harry Harkstone, his blue eyes squinting in concern.

I pushed myself away from the wall, plastering a smile to my face. "Because boys are more trouble than they're worth."

Harry smirked. "Young guys are indeed a headache. Are you alright?"

My smile faltered. "No. But I will be. Hey, listen. Lily's really keyed up to see you. She's inside waiting for you. You should bring her flowers or something sweet like that."

Harry's face brightened. "Really? She's in there?"

I watched the display of delight and excitement flood my cousin's face, devoid of confusion and guilt, and felt an inexplicable sense of loss. Why couldn't I have that?

"Yeah." I said dully. "Listen… she's really into you, Harry. Please, don't hurt her. She's my best friend."

Harry studied my face, scrutinizing. "Are you sure you're alright? I don't need to crack some skulls for you? Which boy hurt you?"

_No one you need to know about_. I thought. I smiled bravely. "I can handle my own problems, but thanks anyway."

"The offer's always there." Harry said, producing a bouquet of exquisite white roses. "Thanks for the tip. Hey, you're only fourteen. You've got loads of time to find the right guy. Don't worry about them so much. Live your life, and have some fun." He pecked my cheek and ducked into the pub. I emerged from my hiding place, arms tucked tightly around my waist. I spotted the four male Marauders cavorting not far away, beelining for Honeydukes.

Biting my lip and deciding to take up Harry on his advice, I jogged after them, catching up quickly. "Giving in to a sweet tooth?"

Four pairs of eyes swiveled in my direction. I avoided the green pair, the one that belonged to Remus, because I knew if he saw into me now, he'd know exactly just what had happened with Sean and what I had almost surrendered to.

"There you are!" James said cheerfully. "I thought you'd ditched us for Evans. Where is she?" He tacked on hopefully, messing up his hair once again.

"She's on a date." I said heartlessly. "Do you think they've got Bertie Bott's Beans today? They were sold out last time. My favorite flavor is blueberry."

"Did say a date?" James demanded. "Where? Who's she with? Why didn't you stop her?"

"Because she's at perfect liberty to date whoever she wants, and that's her business, not mine, or yours." I told him. I could feel Remus watching me, so I trained my attention on Sirius instead. "How'd tryouts go?"

"We killed it." Sirius said airily, stretching his arms above his head. "Definitely scored ourselves for two Chaser positions."

"Good." I said. "How'd I fly?"

"Alright." James said, shrugging. "I hope the new Captain likes you."

I punched his arm. "Very funny, thanks for that. Want to settle this on the pitch tonight?"

James smirked, while Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "We can't." Sirius said, sighing. "We got a double detention with McGonagall."

"Again?" I asked, raising a brow. "What did you do this time?"

"Well," Sirius said, grinning wolfishly, "you know that bloke Bertram Aubrey?"

"Yeah." I said, frowning. "He was one of the Slytherin blokes at the tryouts." I rolled my eyes, sighing. "What'd you do."

James and Sirius grinned so broadly that all of their teeth showed. James said, "Well, we overheard him telling his mates that the only reason you're going to get picked for the Ravenclaw team was because your dad was the famous Walter Harkstone, and that you played like a git. So we hexed him."

"Yep." Sirius said happily. "How big was his head when Madam Hooch came over?"

"At least twice the normal size." James said, smirking.

"Simple Inflation Hex." Sirius informed me. "But I don't think Madam Pomfrey will be able to deflate his pighead anytime soon. You see, we added another curse to him, so every time she tries to use the counter-curse, it'll make his head get even bigger."

"Too bad Professor McGonagall gave us double detention." James sighed. "But it was worth it."

Lost for words, I settled for a hug for each of them. When I pulled back, both boys looked utterly astonished and bewildered.

"Did you just… hug me?" James asked in disbelief.

"That was really… _nice_!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Don't get used to it." I said gruffly as I marched ahead of them towards Honeydukes. "You're still both idiots."

"Can't object to that." Remus chuckled, and I felt a rush of heat at his voice. I offered him a tremulous smile. His green eyes crinkled, and I felt myself relaxing even more. With him, with the other Marauders, I didn't have to pretend or play nice. I could just be me. No matter how I was feeling.

"Oh, another thing." Remus said casually, withdrawing a piece of parchment from his pocket and handing it to me. "Professor Dumbledore asked me to give this to you."

Heart pounding, I carefully unrolled the small scroll. He had written a short message in neat, slanting handwriting that bespoke of a different time period and era. It was beautiful calligraphy, and I privately vowed to improve my own chicken-scratch.

_Amber,_

_Please join me in my office tonight at eight p.m. for your first lesson. Only your wand will be required. I look forward to our meeting._

_P.S. _

_I am especially fond of Blueberry Beans, too._


	57. Visions

**Hey everyone.. I am so sorry about the delay in updating this story. Just over six weeks ago, I lost my boyfriend. He didn't die, but he left my life irrevocably and it was something neither of us ever saw coming. I've had quite an ordeal trying to get back into fall semester and deal with his loss, but please know that I fully intend on finishing the tale of the five Marauders. I finally feel ready to write again and hope you enjoy the story.. xoxo**

* * *

After dinner, I left the Ravenclaw table and the company of Lily and Remus for Dumbledore's story. Lily had just divulged the details of her entire afternoon that she had spent in the company of Harry. My cousin had presented her with flowers, treated her to a delicious lunch, and visited several shops in Hogsmeade with her, including Zonko's, where he had purchased a box of Deluxe Sugar Quills for her to enjoy. He had escorted her back to the castle just before dinner, where she had perched herself at the Ravenclaw table and proceeded to tell me what had happened.

My own afternoon - after the encounter with Sean - had been spent in the company of the Marauders. After spending a considerable amount of money at Honeydukes, we had visited Zonko's, but hadn't spotted Harry or Lily. James had seemed rather despondent of the fact. His interest in Lily appeared to be stronger than I had initially guessed. Unfortunately for him, it looked like Lily was completely smitten with my cousin, and had eyes only for Harry.

"Good luck!" Lily called as I left the table. "Don't be nervous!"

Remus waved, smiling, and I took a steadying breath as I walked through the empty corridors past curious paintings and up the moving staircases to the Headmaster's office. I had only been inside a handful of times, and the massive stone gargoyle guarding the spiral staircase looked intimidating as ever. It leered down at me as I shuffled my feet, unnerved.

"Uh," I said dumbly, "blueberry beans?"  
The gargoyle burst to life and jumped aside. I flinched, eyeing it carefully as I slipped past and up the winding stairs.

I knocked three times on the black door, which was closed. A moment later, it swung open to reveal Professor Smith, Mara's mother.

My mouth dropped open. "Professor! What are you doing here? How are you?"

She smiled, strikingly alike to her daughter, but with that long scar cutting cruelly across her face. "I don't believe I'm a 'professor' anymore, but it's wonderful to see you as well, dear. I believe you have an appointment with Professor Dumbledore."

I nodded, unable to stop myself from smiling. "It's great to see you! Are you staying long?"

Willow shook her head. "Unfortunately not. I'm needed back at the Ministry immediately, but please drop me a line by owl if you ever need to talk to me. You look well, Amber. Have a good night."

I waved in farewell as she descended the staircase, her long black robes billowing out behind her. I entered Dumbledore's office and closed the door behind me, sealing us in.

"Good evening, Miss Harkstone," Professor Dumbledore said, dipping his head in greeting. He was standing before one of his tables displaying his mysterious tinkling instruments. Fawkes let out a joyful cry and fluttered over, perching on my shoulder and nuzzling me affectionately.

"Hi, Fawkes." I said happily, soothed by the phoenix. "Professor Dumbledore, what was she doing here? Is she alright?"

"Quite." Dumbledore assured me, stepping away from a small, plain-looking hourglass resting on a metal platform. Jagged black sand sat at the bottom of the lower bulb, oddly sinister.

"Professor, what's that?" I asked, drawing closer. Fawkes let out a rumbling purr, comforting warmth radiating from his scarlet and gold body.

"A very rare Dark object." Professor Dumbledore replied, his mouth flattening. "This was purchased as a gift for Alastor Moody, Willow Smith's partner at the Ministry. She has already told me that she confided this information to you, so I do not feel as if you are being told a secret."

I stared at the seemingly innocuous object. "That's a Life Clock?"

"Indeed." Professor Dumbledore said, looking at the object. At my approach, the black sand had suddenly leapt up into the top bulb, the sand making an evil hissing noise. The sand didn't settle, but remained swirling like a black cloud of locusts.

"Professor," I said uneasily, "doesn't that thing tell you how long someone has to live?"

"It does." Professor Dumbledore said carefully. "It will tell you the number of days a person has left if you speak their name, but only the asker may see that number. You will never be able to see your own, and there is a curious enchantment upon the device that prevents you from speaking about your knowledge of the life spans of others."

"So," I said quietly, a dark feeling of foreboding rising up inside of me, "you can see how many days I have left to live?"

Professor Dumbledore gave a small smile. "It appears to be broken. That is why she brought this to me, after Alastor Moody found it to be faulty. Now, let us return to the reason why you are here."

Professor Dumbledore produced something shiny and golden from his robes. I realized with a start that it was my necklace.

"Professor Smith, or, as she is now known, _Willow_, found this to be in the possession of Lily Evans this evening before she came to my office. I had presumed she had impressed upon you the importance of keeping this necklace in your ownership."

I felt a prickle of shame and confusion. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to share it, sir. Besides, it was her idea." I added lamely.

"And why would she offer such an idea in the first place?" The Headmaster asked, his eyebrows lifting over his half-moon spectacles.

I frowned, beginning to feel like I was being scolded. "To be honest, sir, she wasn't sure if it was a Dark object or not. I don't think it is, though. It's something my sister gave to me."

"Yes, indeed." Dumbledore agreed. "But perhaps it is time for me to re-evaluate this heirloom. Please, have a seat. Would you care for a cup of jasmine tea? I find it to be very soothing on the nerves."

I nodded as I made my way to a comfortable chintz chair in front of his desk. Dumbledore waved his wand and a blue-and-white patterned teapot whistled shrilly. He added a pinch of dried black tea leaves from a tarnished tin box to the pot and allowed it to steep for a moment, before pouring the hot tea into two China cups. I took a sip of mine, lulled by the sweet heat of the beverage and Fawkes' calming presence.

"This necklace appears not to be a Dark object." Dumbledore said as he tapped it with his wand several times. "Indeed, I may have been mistaken in my earlier assumption that it was a mere copy. There is a very skilled appraiser of whom I know of who would be able to reveal the true origins of your necklace. Would you mind very much if Professor Smith borrowed this for a few days?"

I blinked. "I don't see why not. Is she good at studying these things?"

"As skilled and knowledgable as she is, there is one much more experienced than she. You may have heard of one Caractacus Burke, co-owner of Borgin and Burke's."

I gaped at him in disbelief. "You mean that shop in Knockturn Alley? That shop is devoted to the Dark Arts, sir!"

"Maybe," Dumbledore allowed, "but Mr. Burke possesses a keen eye for discernment and, in my opinion, an unmatched sense of perception when it comes to judging an object's work. He has, after all, been in the business for many decades."  
I decided not to express my feelings of concern and uncertainty. If Dumbledore had enough reason to believe my sister's necklace could be examined safely at such a place, then I had to trust him. So far, the Headmaster hadn't been wrong yet in his guesswork.

"Now that we have dealt with that matter, it is time we move onto the subject of tonight's lesson. Last month, you enjoyed a night-time foray into the Forbidden Forest, even though you were asleep while you managed this excursion. You recounted to me already what you witnessed in the trees. But I have heard from someone that you sought out the company of Julian Gray."

I took another sip of the jasmine tea, heart beginning to pound, my palms gathering sweat. "Folsom's son, you mean. Who told you?"

Dumbledore gave me a measured look through his half-moon spectacles. "The Gray Lady, your House ghost. She was rather concerned about you."

I met his gaze squarely, even though his piercing blue eyes turned my insides to jelly. It was like staring down a predatory cat, like a snow leopard analyzing its prey.

"You need not fear me." Professor Dumbledore said quietly after a long moment of silence, broken only by Fawkes' soft purr in my ear. "I only wish to protect you, and to provide you with guidance and, if I can, answers."

My hands clenched into my fists again, so that my nails bit into my palms. "Sir, may I have your word on that?"

Dumbledore nodded gravely. "You have my word that nothing you confide in me will leave this room or my confidentiality. I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe."

Fawkes gave another low, musical cry, and the phoenix's song, more than anything, gave me the resolve to answer the Headmaster truthfully.

I recounted what Julian had showed me, everything I had seen from the moment I had fallen asleep in the Chair of Dissonance to the moment I had woken up after seeing Julian's bones. I gave him details concerning what I had heard Tom Riddle and Willow Smith discussing, including their reverence for 'The Master'. When I spoke of Folsom, my blood chilled in my veins so that my hands were like frozen gloves. As if he could read my mind, Dumbledore poured me a second cup of tea, which I held in my hands, warming them.

"...I told my friends." I admitted, when I had finished telling him about what I had seen. "Sir, I think it has something to do with the necklace. I know you and Willow said it was only a copy, but I think it might be the real thing."

"Maybe." Dumbledore conceded, his gaze now trained on a faraway spot, his face impossible to read. Fawkes nibbled my ear, chirping quietly.

"Professor," I asked desperately, "does this mean that I'm crazy? Or that there's something wrong with me? Am I a Seer? Am I just… cursed? I have these feelings sometimes that I'm not completely whole, or right… and I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. I don't know how to explain it. I don't know what to do. Please… I don't know what this all means."

Dumbledore watched me silently, steepling his long fingers together. He did not speak, but I could see unspoken words flickering across his intense blue eyes like minnows.

"Do you know if there's something wrong with me?" I blurted. "I always wondered if I was somehow damaged, or tarnished, like Tom Riddle was. Maybe I'm just like him. Maybe I'm some kind of monster or I was never meant to be -"

Dumbledore lifted a wizened hand, and I immediately fell silent. I could feel hot tears gathering behind my eyes and fought against them.

"Amber, Amber, you are not a monster." Dumbledore said soothingly. "You are young, and with that youth comes great upheavals of emotions and changes. You are facing trials now that will shape who you are for the rest of your life. I do not think that you are insane, nor do I think you were an accident. I do, however, believe that you may have inherited some kind of gift from your family."

My mouth parted slightly. "What do you mean?"

Dumbledore refilled my cup of tea. I drank automatically, more out of manners than out of thirst.

"When you first arrived at Hogwarts, I sensed that there may have been something special (forgive me for a lack of a better term) concerning you. I had that same sense about Tom Riddle, when I first met him at Wool's Orphanage all those years ago in London. As you know, he eventually dropped his birth name and took up the mask of Lord Voldemort."

I winced at the name, but Dumbledore acted as if he had not heard anything.

"Tom Riddle, also known as Lord Voldemort, is a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin. Just as you are a direct descendant of Nicolas Flamel and Peverelle Flamel."

Minnie's words floated back to me from my birthday party. _I have the whole geneaology of our family, traced all the way back up to Nicolas Flamel, up in my attic somewhere._

"I… I don't see how that is possible, sir." I stammered. Was this part of the lesson?

Again, as if he could read my thoughts, Dumbledore smiled gently and spread his hands. "Your mother, Lena, once shared a book of your family's with me, recently after she married your father Walter. The book was guarded by enchantments, but your great-grandmother, a former classmate of mine, shared the code with Lena in an attempt to understand what was written inside."

I merely gaped at Dumbledore. "Sir… I believe I may have that book with me. In my dormitory."

"And in our next lesson, you will need to bring the book with you." Dumbledore said, smiling reassuringly. "I believe that once I translate the language for you, you will begin to understand more of what troubles you so. You see, Amber, you are not crazy, nor are you an accident, as I said before. You have been born to rare circumstances and that, I believe, is the reason why you feel so different from your classmates and peers. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Part of the reason why I sought Professor Smith's tutelage of you last summer was not only to prepare you for the danger that awaited you in the form of Folsom, but also to mentor and guide you."

"But, sir," I interrupted, "I thought Folsom wasn't any real threat anymore. I thought that the real danger was Lord… You-Know-Who." I still could not bring myself to say the cursed name aloud.

Dumbledore nodded. "As I have told you, I believe that Folsom is merely one piece of the puzzle. And I also think, as you may have deduced as well, that Lord Voldemort himself may be just that as well: another part of the challenge we face in identifying his ascent to power.

"You mentioned 'The Master' tonight. I believe that though this entity may not be the mastermind behind the rise of the Dark Arts, I believe we may conclude that he had a role, however major, in influencing Lord Voldemort."

"And what about those dead people I keep dreaming about?" I asked desperately, starving for answers. "Do you think they have anything to do with The Master or Lord… _You-Know-Who_?"

Dumbledore looked deeply thoughtful. He held out the necklace, beseeching. I reached out to touch it. The moment my fingers brushed the pendant, several things happened at once.

Fawkes let out a melodious cry at the precise moment I made contact with the necklace. But instead of soothing me, it caused an instant, splitting headache. I cried out, and Fawkes fluttered away, returning to his golden perch, moaning softly.

"Are you alright?" Dumbledore asked. "What happened?"

I held my head between my hands, tears leaking from between my tightly squeezed eyelids. The pain was so bad, as if my skull was about to split open, and Dumbledore's voice was drifting farther away…

* * *

My eyes popped open. The headache was gone. I looked up, but I was no longer in Dumbledore's office. The pain subsided, and I found myself standing in the middle of a large stone room. I turned, breath billowing out in small puffs of silver. There was a single red door in the room, and when I tugged at it, it swung open and allowed me freedom.

It took me a moment to realize where I was. A long stone corridor lined with torches and paintings surrounded me at every angle, including a curious depiction of a wizard trying to teach trolls ballet on a floor-length tapestry.

_Was I inside Hogwarts?_

I tried to make sense of where I was. I touched the cold gray stone wall to steady myself. If it was indeed Hogwarts, it looked remarkably newer. Though torches still burned in the wall and the castle was made up of stone, it was much brighter and cleaner than I had ever seen it. It felt almost… new.

The door I had exited was still there, red and inconspicous in the wall. Maybe I was daydreaming again, or sleepwalking. As long as I knew where the door was, I could roam the castle and return freely.

Feeling slightly revitalized, I hurried down the hallway and down a flight of stairs, passing through the ghost of a long-haired witch, who drifted serenely past as if I had not just rudely run through her. I shook off a chill, feeling as I had just passed through a freezer, and hurried down the familiar flight of moving stairs until I reached the ground level of the castle. Panting slightly, I saw the four hourglasses were still near the Great Hall, filled with precious gems of blue, red, yellow, and green. Again, I was struck by how _new _everything appeared. The castle did not seem to be as aged as I knew it. I could hear loud voices carrying in from the Great Hall, but I felt no desire to enter the fray. I was drawn to the wall nearest to the hourglasses. This, out of all of the things I had witnessed, seemed the most out of place. Normally, it would have been covered with portraits, nearly fifty, of headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts. Now, there were just eight.

Small golden plaques beneath the paintings revealed their names and how long they had taught at the school. I recognized the four Founders of Hogwarts in a row of their own: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Beneath them were three additional portraits: Quintius Peltier, Bartemius Romsey, and Epona Burkes.

Frowning, I stared at the wall (which I knew was supposed to be filled with many more paintings), when I felt a light tap on the shoulder. I whirled around, reaching for my wand, before I realized it was missing from my pocket.

"Absent from class again." The young man before me said, shaking his head and holding a wand like a baton in one hand. "Looking for this?"

I had never heard his voice before, but I knew his face. He was young, no more than his early to mid twenties. He was tall, very tall, with dark shadows under his eyes. He had to be at least six feet and some inches tall, and his dark brown hair was thick and unkempt-looking. His black eyes gleamed scarlet for the merest second, but it was enough to make me realize who this person was.

He was the pale man from my nightmares. The one who was always in tandem with the blonde woman, who always died before I woke up.

The man frowned down at me. "Strange. Usually, you never let me take your wand for more than a second."

I continued to stare at him, unnerved. The obliviousness I had felt at first had dissolved and given way to a rising sense of panic. Where was I? More important, _when _was I?

"What year is it?" I blurted. The man chuckled once.

"Very funny, Sapphira," he said, twirling my wand like it was a toy. "Now, really. If you're absent for another one of my classes, I'll have to give you another detention."  
I didn't like the way he said it. It was as if he was playing a joke on me, or as if he was really looking forward to spending time alone with me. I swallowed hard, my mouth dry as my pulse sped up. His obsidian eyes flickered to my throat and again, I saw an unmistakable red gleam appear in the iris.

"You're scared." He said quietly. "Why?"

"My name _isn't_ Sapphira." I said slowly, glancing between his fixed gaze and my wand, which he still held. He had stopped playing with it.

"What do you mean?" He said cajoling, grinning, and my stomach flipped. His teeth were exactly like Folsom's. He had very pointed canines, just like fangs.

Just like vampire's teeth.

"I think I should go." I said warily, taking a careful step backward. "I need my wand, please."

The man tilted his head. "You look a little pale. Why did you skip my class? This is the second time this week, and I'm not sure I can continue to give you special treatment. It'll look bad to my other students."

_Okay_, I thought, the panic rising to a fever pitch as sweat broke out on my forehead, _I'm either dead, crazy, asleep, or Dumbledore did something to me._

"My wand." I repeated. "Please."

The man watched me for a moment, and then conceded my wand. It looked nearly identical to the one I had purchased at Ollivander's. But something was wrong.

"Sapphira?" The man asked again, sounding uncertain. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I have to go." I said abruptly, leaving the nameless stranger behind. I hurried through the front oak doors, the sunshine blasting me full in the face. It certainly was not October. The trees were fresh and green, the air humid and filled with the scent of lake water, warm grass, and pine trees. Again, I was struck by how _new _everything appeared. The Hogwarts castle that I knew had an aged, weary look about it from a thousand years of weather erosion and students living inside it. This version of Hogwarts, though, looked young and unblemished. Whole. Recent. Strange.

I paced in the sunshine, trying to gather my bearings and come up for a reason for how things seemed to be. Perhaps I really had finally, truly gone off-my-rocker, into-the-deep-end crazy. Maybe my hold on sanity had snapped under the stress of school, boys, my family, and now my tentative mental state. Maybe I had finally gone crazy.

The young man approached me again, frowning. "Sapphira… what's the matter with you? Are you feeling alright, love?"

I stared at him. He reached out to touch my cheek, but I jerked back. "What year is it?" I blurted, unsure of where the question came from.

Now the young man looked alarmed. "Sapphira-"

"Professor Slytherin!" A voice called. The both of us turned as a pair of young men came bustling down the stone steps and stopped before us. I had never seen either boy before, who looked to be fourth-years. I saw the green emblems of Slytherin on their lapels and swallowed hard.

"Yes, Edward? Philbert?" The young man, Professor Slytherin, said.

"We need you to come right away. Cicero Brown's just tried to Apparate and Splinched himself. We found his legs near the Fat Lady."

"Where's the other half of him?" asked Professor Slytherin.

"In the Great Hall. He failed his test." The shorter boy explained.

"Thank you, Philbert." Professor Slytherin said. He glanced back at me. "Sapphira, we will finish this discussion later." I saw the faintest wink as he turned and followed the two boys back inside the castle, his black robes flickering behind him.

I stared after them, dumbfounded, when I ran pell-mell up the steps and back to the portraits of the Founders of Hogwarts. Sure enough, there was Salazar Slytherin, who looked faintly similiar to Professor Slytherin who kept calling me 'Sapphira'.

"Would you care for a copy of the paper, Mistress?" A small voice squeaked. Jumping, I looked down into the wrinkled face of a house elf, who presented me with a roll of newspaper.

"Uh… sure. Thanks." I said, taking the parcel. The elf scurried away as more voices filled the castle near the Great Hall, where a moan of pain was audible above the babble of students.

Hands trembling, I opened the paper, a copy of the Daily Prophet, and dared to look at the date.

_1 June, 1237._

The paper fell from my hands.

It couldn't be true. It wasn't possible. There was no way…

My breathing accelerated in time with my racing heartbeat as I staggered against the wall for support. I didn't have a Time Turner. There was no way I was actually in the past. There was no possible way.

_Unless…_

I looked down upon my neck. Sure enough, there was a familiar gold and opal necklace hanging from it. No, not opal. Harkenine.

_Please, let this work. _I prayed as I touched the necklace. A moment later, a splitting headache gripped me, and as I covered my face with my hands and let out a cry of pain, blinding white light overcame my vision, and I knew it had worked. I was going back.

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, I was back in Dumbledore's office, staring across his desk.

"Amber?" Dumbledore implored, his blue eyes very worried. "Are you alright?"

"Professor." I said croakily. "Say my name again."

Dumbledore frowned, adjusting his spectacles. "You are Amber Luna Harkstone, daughter of Lena and Walter Harkstone, eldest sister to Virginia and Naomi Harkstone. You are a fourth year in Ravenclaw House and you are sitting with me in my office. The day is October 22, 1974, shortly after nine p.m." He paused, leaning forward slightly. "Are you alright, my dear?"

I gazed at him, half-horrified, half-amazed. "Professor Dumbledore, I think I just… had a glimpse of the past. I think I had a vision."

Professor Dumbledore's eyes widened. He leaned back, his face unreadable.

Just then, there was a loud series of knocking at the door.

"Who is it?" Professor Dumbledore called loudly, but his voice was level and calm.

"It's Willow Smith, Headmaster," Willow answered, her voice muffled from behind the door. "I need to speak with you. Urgently."

Professor Dumbledore sighed, pursing his lips. "Is it possible for you to return in a half hour, Willow?"

There was a beat of silence from behind the closed door. "Unfortunately not, sir. It's very important. I've come to tell you… I know. I know the identity of the one who killed Angelina Azadian."


	58. Veritaserum

**I can't believe this story is almost 400,000 words long. How did that even happen? I love reading your reviews and your feedback and can't wait to share the latest chapter with you guys. You're the best 3 **

* * *

Professor Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes pinned me in my chair. "Please wait here, Amber."

I did as I was told. Hands shaking, I took another sip of tea, which was still hot. I listened as Dumbledore went to the office door, talking in low, quiet voices that I couldn't quite catch.

There was a short silence. Then there was the sound of retreating footsteps, and the door was closed once again.

Dumbledore returned to his chair. This time when he looked at me, there was a deep sadness in his eyes. I swallowed hard, unable to shake the vision.

"Sir?" I asked hesitantly. "Should I leave?"

Dumbledore exhaled slowly. "No, you should not leave just yet, Amber. Please, tell me what you have seen."

Unsure of what to do, I told him what I had seen. Dumbledore readjusted his half-moon spectacles and listened, his face troubled.

"You said this man was named 'Professor Slytherin'." He said at last, when I had finished. "Did he look like the portrait of the Founder you saw?"

I tried to recall the details of the handsome face, but it was hard. Every time I tried, my brain ached, as if I'd suffered a concussion. "He looks familiar, but not the same."

"You said it was 1085?" Dumbledore asked.

I nodded. "Yes, Professor. How can that be? That's nearly a thousand years ago."

Dumbledore indicated to the grandfather clock sitting nearby. "Time has special meaning in our world. It is one of the most complex, mysterious kinds of magic we know of. Of course, I do believe that there is a force of magic even stronger than time. Love, Amber." He said, smiling gently at my perplexed expression.

"Oh." I said, dropping my gaze into my lap. I clenched my hands into fists, dread swimming in my stomach. "Professor, what I saw… does that… is that what you were trying to tell me? That I have some sort of special ability to see things like that?"

"I believe so." Dumbledore said. "You have the gift of some kind of extrasensory perception, connected, perhaps, into your necklace."

I swallowed hard. I felt like I had just run a marathon and could feel every inch of my body trembling with a mixture of exhaustion and confusion. I felt like there was something wrong with me, some kind of inherited disease that made me an outcast from my peers. I asked, "But what does it mean? How do I understand? What can we do about this?"

"We can only try to understand." Dumbledore explained, spreading his hands. "You have a very rare gift, Amber, and I am not entirely certain of what it means for you, or for others. I would not go around telling others about this gift, not in the current magical climate. Lord Voldemort is searching for useful tools, and I do not want his ears hearing of what you are capable of. I should think that your friends are worthy of your trust. Specifically, I am speaking of Remus Lupin and Lily Evans, but perhaps Sirius Black and James Potter are worthy of that trust as well. If your parents are not aware of this, I should like for you to inform them as well." He paused, his electric-blue eyes suddenly very piercing. "Amber, it is crucial that you understand how dangerous it would be for the wrong person to discover your ability. I would be very, very careful with what you choose to make public. We are in the days of uncertainty and danger, and I would not want the wrong ears to hear of your abilities. Do you understand?"

The dryness in my throat intensified. "Yes, sir." I reached for a cup of tea, but it was empty. I reached for the pot, but there was no tea left inside. I looked at the Headmaster imploringly.

"Willow will bring us refreshment shortly." He told me. "Is there anything else you wish to tell me before she returns? Or ask?"

I bit my lip. "Do you know who Professor Slytherin is? Surely he can't be one of the Founders."

Dumbledore nodded once, thinking. "No, I believe that you may have seen Professor Salvatore Slytherin. He was the grandson of Salazar Slytherin, and one of the first Defense Against the Dark Arts professors at Hogwarts. The early descendants of the Founders are documented quite well, and a handful of witches and wizards can trace their lineage directly back to them today. As you know, Willow and her daughter are descended from Helga Hufflepuff."

"And who was Sapphira?" I asked, desperate for answers. "Why did he call me that? Why did I appear as 'Sapphira' in the past? Who was she? I felt like me. I didn't feel like I was somebody else. I don't understand."

"You said she was clearly a student of his." Dumbledore reminded me. "So I would assume that she attended Hogwarts in its first century. You may find useful information concerning former students and faculty in the library, but I am not sure if our records would reach back that far in time. Perhaps you were dwelling inside of her consciousness at the time of the vision, or temporarily in control of her. Your gift is very rare, and I wish I could give you more answers to what you seek. If you would like, I will assist you in any way I can, but I would assume that the library would be the most helpful avenue at the moment."

I shifted in my seat, anxious to get to the library and unearth the answers I desperately sought. Maybe if there was an explanation in a book somewhere, it would mean that I wasn't crazy, or a monster, or a freak. But Dumbledore seemed to read my hasty thoughts, and said, "if you would, please, remain with me for a few minutes more. Professor Smith will be here shortly, and she would like to speak with you with me."

"Why?" I asked nervously. "Have I done something wrong?"

Dumbledore's eyes darkened. "I-"

He was cut off again by another round of knocking. Excusing himself, he rose again and opened the door. This time, following him, was my former Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. She was not smiling, nor did she meet my gaze this time. There was a distinctly foreboding sense about her, as if she was escorting someone to their gallows. She carried a pitcher of sweating ice water in one hand. She poured three goblets full of the crystal-clear water on Dumbledore's desk, one for each of us, and sat down grimly.

"Professor," I said uneasily, reaching for my goblet, "does she know-"

Professor Dumbledore raised a wizened hand for silence. "Drink first, Amber. You are very thirsty."

Realizing how true that statement was, I lifted the goblet to my lips and drank deeply. I felt Professor Smith and Professor Dumbledore watching me, and I didn't stop drinking until the goblet was empty. I felt replete, refreshed, but it didn't quench the growing sense of dread I felt stirring in my bones.

"Amber, I need to ask you a few questions, concerning the Hufflepuff Games." Professor Smith said. I gazed at her, frowning. "But I thought we were talking about something else." I slid a glance at the Headmaster. "She _does _know about my... _visions_, doesn't she?" I couldn't think of a different word for my problem.

"I do." Professor Smith replied. "But right now, it's very important that you answer what I ask you, even though it's a different topic. Alright?"

Feeling stronger surges of warning, I nodded once. "Alright."

Professor Smith pursed her lips. "At the Hufflepuff Games, did you engage in a duel with Angelina Azadian?"

I blanched, the memory hurtling back to me as if it had happened yesterday. She had challenged me. I had declined. She had attacked my turned back, so I fought with her. I told them this and said, "Yes. And then she hurt me. She used some kind of curse… she said she heard it from Severus Snape." I made a face, the recollection abruptly ending. "After I passed out from her curse, everything was fuzzy… up until I woke up the Forbidden Forest next to her. Her… body. She was already dead when I woke up."

"How did you get into the Forest?" Professor Smith asked.

I winced as a sharp pain echoed in my brain. Tried as I might to think of it, there was a void, a gap, in the fabric of my memory. "...I don't know."

Willow and Professor Dumbledore exchanged a meaningful look. "Did you see someone in the Forest, other than Angelina's body?"  
Again, that awful feeling of my mind trying to connect itself to a memory, but finding nothing but a missing piece to a puzzle. It was like trying to recall a vivid dream, but much worse. The rising feelings of dread and nervousness were overpowering waves of nausea and pain, throbbing between my eyes, spreading to my entire head. Now, I felt sick. Sicker than I'd ever felt in my life. Letting out a gasp, I bent over and retched, nearly vomiting on Dumbledore's carpet.

"Professor!" Willow said sharply, catching me as I sank towards the floor.

"I know." Dumbledore said gravely. "I was afraid that this was the case."

I felt Willow's hands on me as the intense sick feeling persisted. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead as chills wracked my body. I retched again, but the vomit wouldn't come. I sobbed, scared, wondering what was going on. My body was scaring me more than my mind.

"I should have known." Willow said bitterly. "It's a defense response to a Memory Charm. It's a curse to prevent anyone from unlocking her true memory. Her memory's been modified, and the Veritaserum's triggering a reaction to keep her from talking. It'll kill her before it lets her speak the truth."

"Dark Magic." Dumbledore responded tightly, sounding disgusted. "I believe I can penetrate it and break the hold on her. Hold her still, Willow. This will be ugly."

I had shut my eyes tightly, trying to fight my body's violent reaction against whatever was holding me. I let out another moan, sagging against Willow as a more powerful tremor shook me so hard that my teeth chattered together. It felt like my own body was prepared to kill itself before it let my mind retake control.

"Hang on, Amber," Willow whispered comfortingly to me. "Professor Dumbledore is going to fix this."

A strangled sob came from my half-open mouth. I felt like my blood had turned to lead, like my brain would boil itself alive in a fever before I could speak again.

And then Fawkes began to sing. In the terrifying haze of pain and confusion, I focused on the complex, soothing melody, a haunting tune from another era, another time. It was strangely familiar, and the shaking eased, the buzzing in my ears subsiding.

A coolness touched my forehead, and then a tentative sensation of movement unfurled in my head. The sharp pain returned, and I cried out. Fawkes continued to sing. The tentative sensation became a firm punch, and I screamed.

"Hang on." Willow said loudly. "Hang on! You're almost there, Amber. Almost!"

There was one more tremendous force against the wall in my mind. And then, it was broken. Like a dam bursting, the pressure was released. The curse had been broken. Weak with relief, I went completely limp against Willow, letting out a long sigh.

"Is she alright?" Willow asked urgently. "I can feel her pulse, but that was the most powerful Memory Charm I've ever seen, Professor. I'm worried it damaged her irreparably."

Dumbledore was silent. I felt a gentle nudging in my head, but this time it caused me no pain.

"No." Dumbledore said at last. "She isn't permanently damaged. She will, however, likely suffer some headaches for a few weeks until her mind heals. That was a very strong curse, and I had to use greater force to break it. She will be able to talk now."

"Let her rest first." Willow pleaded. "Look at her."

"It has to be now, Willow. Before the Veritaserum wears off. Come now, let's bring her to the chaise. There… yes. There we are."

I opened my eyes a slit. I was laying on a bed-like chair of maroon, my feet propped slightly above my head. Professor Willow was staring at me, her green eyes filled with worry.

"Amber? Amber, dear, I'm sorry, but we need to ask you a few more questions. I promise you can rest once it's over."

Groaning, I leaned back, my eyes drifting shut again. The nausea had ebbed, but I felt like I had fallen from the Astronomy Tower and landed headfirst into the ground below.

I felt a warm pressure on my belly. I opened my eyes again and saw Fawkes settled over my abdomen. He pushed his head underneath my limp hand, still humming. His presence comforted me, and I managed, "Alright… I'll try."

Professor Dumbledore spoke this time. "Amber, how did you get into the Forest?"

Where there had been a bottomless hole in my memory before was now a foggy recollection. I strained to recall the details, to pick them apart out of the shadows and smoke of my mind.

"Take your time." Willow said. "Don't rush. Just try to remember."

_Angelina had used a curse on me... I had been bleeding from everywhere... Sean had carried me into the infirmary tent... _

And he'd had a row with Remus. About me.

"_If you ever let her get hurt like this again, I'll make you sorry!" _Sean had shouted.

"_It's not Remus' fault._" I had told Lily after they had both left, thinking of Angelina's irrational rage. It hadn't been Remus' fault for what happened. Angelina had acted of her own accord.

They had all left me after that. I had lain there in the cot, alone, since Madam Pomfrey had left me to use the lavatory, until a strange sense of peace had overcome me. I had gone into the Forest, guided by that odd little orb of yellow-green light. I had walked for a mile, until the orb had led me to Angelina.

The orb had gone into her chest. The orb had told me I had to do it. I had to. There was no way to disobey. It was like falling from an airplane: gravity was going to win. It wasn't a question of choice. It was physics and fact.

"_Cast the spell… cast the spell… CAST THE SPELL!"_

Just like the Orb's voice had been.

No… no. It was more than that. The orb's voice… the dark shadow that had materialized out of the Forest's gloom…

I let out a gasp of horror as the ugly face loomed into view. "Mulciber!" I half-screamed. "He… he… oh _no! _Merlin's beard! _NO!"_

"_CAST THE SPELL!"_ Mulciber had ordered.

And then I had spoken those fatal words: "_Avada Kedavra."_

Willow restrained me as I writhed on the chaise. I saw it all now, so clearly. I saw what he had made me do, what I had done.

"Amber," Professor Dumbledore asked, raising his voice, "did William Mulciber kill Angelina?"

I sobbed. Not even Fawkes could calm me now. "No! No, it wasn't him… it wasn't him!"

I could see the crimson on my hands again. The stains would never come out, no matter how hard I scrubbed. I sobbed harder, my heart twisting inside of me. _No no no! _

All of the nightmares of Angelina, all of the strange twinges of guilt… it all made sense now. Horrible sense. I wished my brain had boiled itself alive before I had learned the awful, inescapable truth, crushing me like a python.

"Did he curse you?" Dumbledore asked.

I wanted to tear out my hair. I wanted to tell Angelina I was sorry, that all of our fights had been so stupid and pointless compared to what I had done. "Yes." I sobbed. "He used the Imperius Curse on me."

There was a tense beat of silence. "Amber," Dumbledore said slowly. "Did you kill Angelina Azadian?"

I saw her face in my mind, the look of mingled fury and fear on her face as I lifted my phoenix feather wand. I saw the last look on her face, a second before I had uttered those lethal, evil, final words. _Avada Kedavra._

I had killed her.

"Yes." I whispered.

* * *

"Let her sleep. Don't wake her up. Dumbledore said she was really upset. Had an anxiety attack or something."

"A what?"

"An anxiety attack. Haven't you ever heard of those?"

"No, sorry. Just lunar attacks."

"Very funny, Remus."

"I wasn't joking."

My eyelids fluttered open. I had been dreaming of dark forests, of the woman called Sapphira and of the sound of Fawkes' melody. Strangely, I felt numb, drugged. My body felt ten times heavier than it normally did, and I struggled to even move my arm.

I was lying in a hospital cot. The cathedral-like ceiling told me that I was no longer in Dumbledore's office. There was a white screen closing me off from the rest of what I assumed was the hospital wing.

"Well, _that _can't be good." I muttered, wondering why I was quarantined.

There was a short gasp. Lily's face was immediately hovering before mine, her green eyes huge.

"Amber!" She said, massively relieved. "You're awake!"

"You had us worried." Remus said, sitting in a chair on the other side of me. His face was grave. "Dumbledore said you passed out in his office."

I tried to remember meeting with him, but I couldn't recall anything other than my dream. "I had a meeting with Dumbledore?"

Lily and Remus exchanged a look. "Yeah." Lily said slowly, looking nervous. "Don't you remember?"

I stared at her. "Not really."

"You look awful." Lily said. She blushed. "You know, worse than normal. I mean, sick. I mean… oh, you know what I mean. Remus, tell her."

Remus looked startled. "What?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, never mind. Amber, do you know what day it is?"

I shook my head. My skull felt like it was made of lead. "Why is it light outside?"

"That what happens when the sun comes up." Lily said, smirking. "You know, it's this thing called 'day'."

I rolled my eyes. "I appreciate the sarcasm." I struggled to sit up. "I need to talk to Professor Dumbledore."

"I am here." The Headmaster was striding across the floor, his long silver beard glinting in the daylight. Lily and Remus looked intimidated.

"Miss Evans, Mr. Lupin." Dumbledore said kindly. "Would you two please bring Miss Harkstone some breakfast from the Great Hall? Bring food from the kitchens, if you must. Under my request."

"Yes, Headmaster." Remus said. "Lily?"

Lily nodded and followed him out of the hospital wing. It was just me and Dumbledore now. I watched him sit down on the chair Remus had just vacated.

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly.

I blinked. "Sick. Have I been ill?"

"In a way." Dumbledore said. "I am not sure how much you recall presently, but last night you and I had a rather eventful meeting in my office. You experienced a vision, and shortly afterward, you were given Veritaserum by Professor Smith. I broke a cursed memory charm that Mulciber had cast upon you and also broke his Imperius Curse that still lingered upon you. You then were given a draught of mandragora and taken to the hospital wing, where you could sleep without interruption. You were very upset after your memory was restored."

I stared at him, the memory returning. I could feel the blood draining from my face as it did. Tears burned in my eyes as I gazed at him helplessly. "I killed Angelina."

Dumbledore took my hand. It was surprisingly strong for a wizard at his age. "You did not kill her. You were under the Imperius Curse. Truly, the one at fault is William Mulciber, who is at large but now under much more expidition for capture. You have done nothing wrong, Amber. Angelina's death was not your fault."

Tears slipped down my cheeks. "It was my wand. It was my mouth that said the curse. I killed her."

"You are responsible for her death no more than you are responsible for Virginia's." He said seriously. I flinched, hurt that he would bring up my dead sister at a time like this.

"Amber, Amber." Dumbledore said sadly. "You will learn, as I have learned, that Death does not operate in ways that we expect, nor does it cast blame in the way the living do. Mulciber used you to carry out his will the same way you use your wand to do magic. You were the instrument through which he performed. It is not your fault."

Tears spilled over my eyes. "But I was so angry with her, Professor. For stealing Remus. For betraying me. For hurting me. For so many things. I never… I never meant for her to die. I didn't want this. I just wanted her to say sorry."

Dumbledore's blue eyes were filled with deep sympathy. He squeezed my hand in a very paternal fashion, sighing quietly. "We never mean to let hatred or jealousy rule our lives. And it is never easy when we feel responsible for the death of someone. You must not let this marr the rest of your life. You are so young, and you have a future of endless possibilities stretching before you. Amber, _this was not your fault._"

He said that last part in a way that was so final, so authoritative, that I almost believed him. But the guilt lingered, a tiny seed of blackness in my heart, and I knew that even if I somehow did move on with my life, I would carry this awful knowledge with me for the rest of my life.

"How do I tell my friends?" I whispered. "How do I tell Remus?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "You'll know when the time is right. If they are your true friends, which I wholeheartedly believe them to be, they will support you, no matter what. You are loved by your family and your friends, Amber. Don't despair, little one."

I blew my nose into a napkin he offered me. I tried to staunch the flow of tears, blowing my breath out hard from my lips and staring at the buttresses of the ceiling. "Do I have to tell my parents?"

"I can send Willow with the news, if you would prefer." Dumbledore offered. "Or have her be present with you when you tell them."

I debated for a moment. "I think I'd like her with me." I admitted in a very small voice.

Dumbledore nodded. "No matter what happens, you will always have a home at Hogwarts. Try and let your grief and guilt go. Take your life day by day, until you are healed enough to forget why you were even hurting in the first place. I promise that you will be alright, dear one."

At that moment, Remus and Lily returned with armfuls of food spilling out onto the floor. Both looked slightly panicked and abashed.

"We weren't sure how hungry you were." Lily admitted as Dumbledore lifted a brow. "So we brought a little bit of everything so you could choose."

"It's all vegetarian." Remus assured me. "No meat."

I smiled weakly at him. Thoughtful, sweet, dear Remus. My heart constricted painfully when I thought of what I would have to tell him. That Angelina's death had come through Mulciber, through me.

"You will be well-cared for." Dumbledore rumbled as he rose to his feet and plucked the small box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans from the floor. "Do you mind if I keep this? I am quite partial to the raspberry jam flavour."

"Go ahead." I said, trying to smile but instead managing a half-grimace, half-frown. Dumbledore left, his star-spangled robes trailing him as he disappeared around the corner.

"What are you in the mood for?" Lily asked, coming forward with her arms laden. "I have muffins, scones, Danish, bananas, doughnuts, cookies, cupcakes, chocolate… I _had _a chocolate frog."

Remus looked sheepish, depositing his load onto the empty cot he had conjured with a quiet, "_Accio!"_

"Sorry." He said, grinning. "I couldn't resist."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Remus brought you an egg sandwich, granola bars, yogurt, bagels, and a… what is that, Remus?"

"It's a rice bar." He told her. "Made with marshmallows. It's very good. My mum loves them."

"I'll take that one." I said. My sweet tooth overpowered my better judgment and I nibbled at the bar, unable to look at either of them. My memory was back, but I was focusing every ounce of my willpower on _not _remembering it.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked quietly, leaning forward. "You always seem to be in the infirmary, you know. I'm going to have to start casting a shield charm on you every day."

"She sleepwalks too." Remus added. "Can't win with this girl."

Lily chuckled. "And you'd know that _how_, Remus?"

Remus blushed. "Because she told me."

Lily tossed her long curtain of dark red hair back. "Alright, if you say so."

"Lily." I admonished, grinning in spite of myself. Remus blushed deeper and helped himself to one of the bagels.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily asked, serious again. "I mean, you don't have to, but if you want to talk, we're here for you."

"I won't tell the guys either, if you'd rather I didn't." Remus told me. "If this is between us, then that's perfectly fine."

I bit my lip, putting the rice bar down. My stomach was already tying itself up in knots of nervousness. "Please don't think of me differently when I tell you. I'm still just Amber. Just… Amber. Not a freak or anything. I'm still the same me."

"Alright." Lily said, sounding very grave. "Of course. You're still 'just' Amber."

"I'm serious, Lily." I told her. "Well… here goes…"

I told them what I had seen in my vision. I explained, to their shock, that I could sometimes see past events, usually in dreams, but now, during my lucid moments as well. I told them how Dumbledore and Willow believed the necklace had something to do with it.

"I told you!" Lily cried. "Didn't I _tell _you something was weird with that necklace? Amber, I think it has _everything _to do with the visions!"

I bristled at her hostility. "Are you saying this is my fault? That I should have known better?"

Lily's eyes narrowed. "I'm saying that you should be more careful. That's all. There's Dark stuff in this world, and maybe the necklace isn't a part of it, but it can be _used _by it. You know, like being taken advantage of. When weird stuff starts happening to you, please don't try to hide it from us. We care about you. Dumbledore cares about you. Willow does. Please, please, _please _promise me you won't keep stuff like this to yourself anymore."

I stared at her, then at Remus, who looked conflicted. "I don't want to burden either of you." I said quietly. "My problems are my own."

Remus steepled his hands together. "I used to think that too." He said quietly. "With my condition. I thought I had to be alone, to suffer by myself. But when I confided in those who I knew I could trust and who really did care, _that _was when I discovered what freedom meant." His pale green eyes were filled with conviction. "You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Just don't try to be a one-woman army all the time."

"Or a martyr." Lily threw in. I glared at her. "Was that really necessary? I'm not a martyr." I told her flatly.

"Maybe not _completely_." Lily amended. "But sometimes you act like it."

"And sometimes you act like a know-it-all." I told her, my voice icy. "But 'not completely'."

Lily flared up at once. Before we could squabble any further, Remus spread his hands imploringly. "Ladies, please. Let's not get too carried away here."

"One more thing," Lily said, still looking annoyed, "Professor Slughorn is having a party tomorrow night at eight o'clock in his office. You're invited. So is Remus. If you're feeling up to it, you should come."

"That'll be fun." I muttered, folding my arms crossly. "Who else is going?"

"A few others. Some people from the Quidditch Team. I heard that Sean might be coming."

My stomach lurched. A quick glance in Remus' direction told me that he wasn't happy to hear that Sean could make an appearance. His green eyes darkened, his hands clenching into fists in his lap.

"Too bad your dad won't come." Lily said. "He was some Quidditch hero a long time ago, I guess. That's what your cousin said."

I grinned at her. "Is Harry coming?"

Lily shook her head. "No, he said he's busy with work. But he's going to take me out to Hogsmeade during the next trip."

I smiled at her. I wondered what it would be like if the two ended up married. Then Lily really _would _be family.

Then my thoughts turned to Remus. I tried to picture him with another girl, dancing in the light of candles on a patio somewhere during the summertime, and an intense jolt of pain shot through me. I cringed, half-gasping, my head pounding at the movement.

Lily and Remus both leaned forward. "Are you alright? Should I get Madam Pomfrey?" Lily asked.

I shook my head, looking at Remus. His eyes were so dark, so full of unspoken feelings. I knew I had to tell him the truth about Angelina. But I didn't want to do it. Not yet. I wanted more time with him. What if he cut me out of his life when I told him? I couldn't bear the thought of living without him.

Yet, I knew that at some point, he would have to learn the truth behind her death. Even if it hadn't been my fault, it was still my wand and my words that had ended her life.

"You should rest." Remus said, reaching over and squeezing my hand. He began to pull it away, but I held it fast. The words bubbled up inside of my throat, and I had to clamp my lips shut to keep them from escaping.

"I don't want to stay here." I told them. I started to rise, but my head pounded again, and I sagged against the pillows, suddenly drained.

"You need to _rest_." Lily insisted. Remus nodded seriously.

"I don't want to stay here like an invalid." I snapped, wanting to get away from the hospital wing, away from what I had nearly told them. "I have classwork to do. And homework."

"We brought it for you." Remus said, gesturing to a stack of books and parchment. I grimaced at the amount of work I had to catch up on.

"Great." I muttered. "Just great. Wonderful. Well, at least I'll be occupied."

"You won't be here for much longer." Lily promised.

Just then, Madam Pomfrey swept to the cot. She looked disapprovingly at the half-eaten rice bar in my lap. "I see you've been eating."

I met her gaze squarely without remorse. "I want to leave."

"Well, you can't." She said crisply. "Not until you're better. I'd say you have at least another half-day of rest before you'll be good to go."

I wanted to scream. I didn't want to stay in my bed. I wanted to go outside and fly on my broomstick or wander the lake trail. I wanted anything but to be cooped up inside like I was in quarantine.

"I think it's best if you two leave now." Madam Pomfrey said.

"I agree." Lily said, rising to her feet. "It's for your own good, Amber. The more you rest, the faster you'll be better."

"Traitor." I told her blackly. Remus withdrew his hand and smiled sadly at me. "We'll see you at dinner."

"Fine, leave, just go." I said dramatically, as Madam Pomfrey handed me a strong-smelling goblet of dark green liquid. "I'll just be in here, rotting and wasting away in my cot."

"Oh, hush." Madam Pomfrey said as I downed the goblet of liquid, which burned like firewhiskey and tasted like grass clippings. "You'll be out within a minute. Maybe when you wake up, you can join your friends at dinner."

I tried to listen to the rest of her words, but I had fallen into black, dreamless sleep at the word 'dinner'.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey had released me after I had woken up just before dinner. The next day, the fall air turned bitingly cold as a cold front pushed through over the mountains. It covered the blue sky with thick, dark gray cloud cover, and I could smell snow as I walked around the length of the lake with the Marauders in tow.

I was half-listening to James and Sirius recount how they had jinxed one of their classmates when Peter fell into the lake. He had been trying to follow James and Sirius too closely while Remus and I walked together in the rear and had slipped off the trail and toppled three below into the lake. James and Sirius roared with laughter as Peter floundered, gasping for air.

"Help me!" Peter gasped. "I'm drowning!"

"Stand up, you idiot!" James laughed. "You're in less than three feet of water!"

Peter gulped and put his feet down. Miraculously, the water was indeed only up to his waist. His boyish face turned pink.

"C'mon, Pete," Sirius cajoled as he offered his hand to the plump boy, pulling him back up onto the trail, "don't be so daft. What's on your mind?"

Peter wrung out his sopping sleeve. He looked highly embarassed. "N-nothing…"

Sirius sighed. "Come on. Out with it."

Peter looked miserable, with his hair plastered to his face and his wet clothes hanging off of him and dripping onto the ground. I took out my wand and pointed it at him. "_Siccumdium._"

A jet of hot air blasted Peter from my wand. Within a minute he was dry. He looked even more woe-begone, his face crumpled. He looked ready to cry.

"Come on, Peter, out with it." James said encouragingly, as Remus tugged at a dead branch overhead. "What's going on?"

Peter bit his lip. "I don't… I just…"

"What, are you afraid that you're too cool to hang with us anymore?" Sirius teased.

Peter fidgeted nervously. He hardly ever had all of the attention fixed on him, and he looked lost. Finally, he said, "I don't think I can hang out with you lot anymore."

There was a stunned beat of silence. Then Sirius and James began talking at once.

"You can't be serious mate!"

"Why?"

"We need you!"

"You're our mascot!"

"Peter, come on!"

Peter looked helplessly at them. Remus frowned, stepping forward. "Would you like to tell us what exactly spurred this decision, Peter?"

Peter gulped. His blue eyes glanced at me before looking away. He ducked his head. "I'm too weak to be with you guys. You're all so strong and cool and powerful. I'm just… not. I'm hopeless. Even Professor Kettleburn says that the best thing I'll ever be good at is being monster bait."

"That is _not _true!" James said fiercely. "Come off it, Pete. You're just as cool as the rest of us."

"Well, not as cool as _me,_" Sirius said loftily. James punched his arm. "Peter, mate. Don't listen to them. You're cool. Who told you this?"

Peter looked at me again. "Everyone."

Somehow, I knew who he was talking about. "You mean a particular group of Slytherins, don't you?"

Peter nodded once.

"I'll kill them." Sirius vowed, drawing his wand. "What class do they have right now?"

"None!" I snapped. "Considering it's _after _classes. Put that away, Sirius, before you poke someone's eye out again."

Grudgingly, Sirius obeyed.

"I'm not smart." Peter went on tearfully. "Or brave. I'm not even a Gryffindor. I should have been in Hufflepuff or Slytherin."

"You _are _a Gryffindor." James said heartily, putting his arm around the smaller boy. "We all have bad days. Even I feel stupid sometimes."

"Really? You do?" Peter asked in amazement.

James grimaced. "Well, no, actually. I always feel incredible. But _you _should have that same level of confidence, mate. Aren't you like, a few months away from becoming an Animagus?"

Peter flushed. "I mean, maybe another year away… But Sirius already did it a whole year ago!"

"So?" James challenged. "I still haven't managed it. And you're miles ahead of Lionheart."

I glowered at James. "Thanks for that."

"No problem." James said briskly, not even looking in my direction. He adjusted his glasses. "You're special, mate. You're like the cheese that holds together the macaroni of our group. We wouldn't be right without you."

Peter sniffled, tears in his eyes. "Really? You're not just saying that?"

"Of course not." Sirius said, ruffling his hair fondly. "Who else would laugh at our jokes? Or cheer us on to no end? It definitely wouldn't be those two lovebirds." Sirius rolled his eyes at us. "All they ever do is make out."

My face went hot. "We do _not_!" I said indignantly, unable to look at Remus.

"Look, Peter," Remus said, his voice cool, "maybe you're a late bloomer. Not everyone starts out strong at the gate like James and Sirius."

"And you too." I said defensively. "You're a brilliant wizard, Remus. Don't discount yourself."

"Aww, go get a room." Sirius moaned. "You two are disgusting."

I waved my wand. "_Silencio!"_

Sirius made a rude hand gesture. Rolling my eyes, I shook my head at the gaggle of boys and pushed my unruly hair out of my face. It was so long now, always in the way. Sometimes I longed to cut it off, like right now.

"And I'll never be a Charms master like you." Peter said bitterly.

"Maybe we can change that." I said on an impulse. "Peter, why don't I become your tutor?"

Peter's eyes bugged. James looked amused. Sirius was furiously trying to remember the countercurse for the Silencing Charm. Remus looked oddly jealous.

"Are you serious?" Peter said in a very small voice. "You? Become my tutor?"

"Yes." I said imperiously, swatting at a tress of hair that swung obnoxiously into my face. "Just until you're more confident in your own spellwork. Plus, it'll look good on my resume. Sound like a deal?"

Peter gulped back tears. Then he ran into me, a head shorter, and hugged me.

Awkwardly, I patted his back. When he didn't let go, Remus pried him off, looking irritated. Peter was flushed and looked excited.

"Do I have to call you 'Professor'?" He asked, his eyes gleaming.

I grinned, while James moaned. "I'd like that, yes."

"Okay." Peter said, trying it on. "Professor Harkstone, when is our first lesson?"

I pointed to Sirius. "How about right now? Go ahead and undo my Silencing Charm."

Peter turned white. "I don't know the incantation."

"Think." I told him, leaning closer. "Almost any Charm has the same counter curse. It's easy. It starts with an 'F'."

James opened his mouth to speak, but Remus held up a hand for silence. Peter made a face as if he'd swallowed a lemon. Then, his eyes popped open.

"I know what it is!" He said excitedly. Whipping out his wand, he pointed it at Sirius and shouted, "_Finite!"_

Sirius, who had been cursing at me silently, was suddenly speaking again. His colorful language made my face heat up again while James laughed raucously. But when he called me a particularly nasty five-letter word, Remus drew his wand like a sword and said, "_Stupefy!"_

The curse slammed into Sirius like a train. The dark-haired boy was thrown back and landed hard on his side ten feet away, nearly falling into the lake himself. He leapt to his feet, his scraped arms raw. "What the _hell_, Moony?" He swore again, more viley than last time.

"Don't you _ever_ call her that in front of me!" Remus shouted, his eyes very bright now, almost electric. I glanced up at the sky, still covered by thick clouds. How far away was the full moon? It couldn't be too far away, considering his animalistic rage.

"Fine!" Sirius shouted furiously. "I'm _sorry_. Alright? I'm sorry, Lionheart. Amber, whatever you are."

Remus still had his wand out. He was shaking. Biting his lip, he put his wand away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper like that."

"It's fine, mate," Sirius said gruffly, brushing himself off. "It'll take more than that to knock me out."

James had watched the entire fiasco without lifting a finger. But he let out a soft laugh as a few white flakes drifted down from the sky. Amazed, I watched as snow began to fall, soft and delicate. A flake landed on my nose. I wiped it off and watched in amazement as the squall blew in from the mountains, covering the lake and the surrounding mountains in frosted white.

"That's beautiful." I said quietly. "And cold."

"Come on." Remus said. "Some of us have to get ready for a party, remember?"

"Lucky you." James said sourly. "I still think _I _should have been invited."

"Yeah, well, maybe they got sick and tired of your ugly face." Sirius joked. James threw a playful punch while Peter tagged along.

"I wish I could go with you, Professor Harkstone," Peter said sadly.

"Don't start that." Sirius moaned. "Please."

"Should we dress up?" I asked Remus as we turned and walked back towards the castle, nearly a mile away.

"I wouldn't do anything crazy." He advised. "Keep it casual. I think he would have told us if he wanted us to wear something formal."

"You'll look beautiful no matter what, Professor Harkstone." Peter gushed.

"Merlin's beard," James made a disgusted noise in his throat, "shut _up_."


	59. The Slug Club

**Pushing out another chapter. I really want to finish The Gray Lady by Christmas! I love the dynamics between Amber and the other Marauders. The poor girl is the hen among the roosters. As always I welcome your feedback. Your reviews keep me and the story going :) Enjoy!**

* * *

After the boys and I returned to the castle, I had set off to the Ravenclaw Tower to finish the stack of homework I had leftover from my brief stint in the infirmary. Lily had sent me an owl reminding me to meet her later for the Slug Club and to 'dress nicely'. I wasn't sure what that meant, so I had grabbed the first thing I had seen in my chest: Muggle clothes from home.

Lily met me at the ugly statue of the humped witch at precisely eight fifteen that evening. She was wearing a pretty pale green dress and had pinned her hair in an elegant up-do. Lily never missed the chance to be 'girly'.

Her face fell when she saw what I had chosen to wear: my jeans with tears in the knees and the thighs, my scuffed-up brown boots that I normally wore on the farm back home, and an oversized dark green flannel top that had once belonged to my cousin Harry. It was one of the many hand-me-downs I owned. Not to mention, I hadn't bothered to use a lick of make-up.

"What are you _wearing?" _Lily exclaimed as I reached her side. "You look like a homeless bum! How did you get in the castle? Did you climb in through the sewers?"

"Very funny, Lily." I said dryly. "This is comfortable. I don't want to be all frilly and fruity. Just let me be me, alright?"

Lily looked outraged. "At least let me fix your hair." She pleaded.

I rolled my eyes. "If you must."

Quickly, she tied my long hair back into a loose fishtail. She muttered curses under her breath as she worked. I definitely heard 'hopeless' and 'why even bother' as we walked toward Professor Slughorn's office.

"I don't understand you." Lily remarked as we descended the stairs into the cool dungeons of the castle. "You're so pretty, but it's like you want to hide your beauty underneath all of this frumpiness. Honestly, Amber. I wish you'd at least let me fix your hair. I want to cut it and give it some layers. It would be so pretty!"

"Why? You don't like it wild and natural?" I teased as we reached the door to his office.

Lily sighed. "It's just so… _crazy. _Like a lion's mane. Please let me give you a full make-over at some point. Tonight would have been the perfect night, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "Lily, please. I'm not like you. You're gorgeous. I'm just… Amber."

"Someday you're going to admit that I was right and you were wrong." She said airily as she knocked. She was wearing ballet flats to match her dress, and sparkly, dangly earrings hung from her lobes. Lily was naturally beautiful, but she also knew how to enhance that beauty. I had no idea. I preferred to roll out of bed, put on my uniform or whatever clothes I could wear, and go about my day. Life was too complicated without adding fussiness of appearance to it.

And yet, there was something alluring about Lily and her beauty. Part of me wanted to feel pretty, like a woman. But I wasn't quite ready to embrace that level of maturity. Not yet.

The door opened. It was a sheepish-looking house elf, who bowed to us. "Welcome, ladies! Please come inside."

"Oh, my." Lily breathed as we entered. Halloween wasn't far away, only a few more weeks, and the office had been decorated for the holiday. Professor Slughorn's office looked more like a high-ceiled apartment. Perhaps it had been magicked to appear bigger than it really was, but it looked like the inside of a Victorian house rather than a teacher's study. Countless pumpkins filled with candles lined the walls and floors. Real spiderwebs, complete with live tarantulas, hung in every window and in the chandelier. Live bats chattered overhead in a swarm, while candelabras flickered, giving off ample but incandescent light. It was filled with twenty-something students and a handful of adults, including Mara Smith and her cousin, Sean Locke. They stood near Professor Slughorn, who was happily occupying most of the buffet table. Everyone had a gobletful of something to drink.

"I guess we're fashionably late." Lily remarked as we made our way over to the buffet table. I could feel Sean staring at me, but I was determined not to look at him. I couldn't, not when I felt like my heart was going to beat its way out of my ribcage. I hadn't forgotten what happened the Three Broomsticks.

"He's staring right at you." Lily muttered as we filled our plates. We had deliberated skipped dinner in order to eat here, and Slughorn hadn't spared any expense. There were chilled monkey brains, roasted beetles, eyeball soup…

"You know what?" I said weakly, unable to stop looking into the cauldron of soup. "I don't think I'm actually hungry."

Lily gave me a sardonic look. "You know those aren't actually real eyes, Amber."

"I don't care. They're staring at me."

"Try the chocolate cupcakes." Remus suggested, appearing at our side. "They're delicious."

"You look nice, Remus!" Lily said happily, and I knew she was chiding me again. I was only too aware of the nice, Sunday-best clothes many of the others had chosen to wear. I alone looked out of place, like I had arrived fresh off the farm.

"You look comfortable, Amber," Remus said, smiling at me. The candles reflected like stars in his eyes, and I had to swallow hard against my racing heart, which was beating in double time. "I like your braid." He added.

"Thanks," I said. "Lily did it."

"I had to do _something_." Lily said. "She looked like an electrocution victim."

Remus laughed as he sipped his butterbeer. "I saw Sean. He's over there with Mara."

"I know." I said, still unwilling to look over. "Hey, is that Bathilda Bagshot? Over there with… _Harry?_"

Lily perked up like a shark smelling blood in the water. "Harry? Harry Harkstone?"

She took one look at his golden hair and vanished. I noticed that there were ghosts mingling with the living guests at the party, looking merry and content.

"Well, now we've lost her." Remus said sadly. "I hope I wasn't like that with Angelina. Ditching my mates for my girlfriend."

My heart skipped a beat as my blood chilled to ice water. I looked at Remus, unable to speak. How could I tell him the truth?

He frowned. "You've got that look again. What's wrong?"

I swallowed hard. "What look?"

"The look that means you're hiding something. What is it? Did you hex James before you came here or something?"

I bit my lip. I didn't want to spoil the party, especially so soon after arriving. But I couldn't keep this hidden forever. Maybe it would be like ripping off a bandage. The sooner I did it, the faster it would heal. One thing was for certain: I did _not _want to carry this secret around like I had carried Virginia's death. I had to tell him. Now.

"Can we talk somewhere private?" I asked.

Remus' eyes flickered. "Sure. Come on, I'm sure there's a broom closet or something outside in the hall."

We began to make our way towards the office door, my heart pounding harder with each step, when Sean intervened. He blocked the door, arms folded across his chest. He was smiling, but it wasn't a genuine smile. His gray eyes were like chips of flint.

"Going so soon?" He asked. "You just got here, Amber. I was hoping you'd at least say hello to me."

Sean was as handsome as ever, but jealousy didn't suit him. I narrowed my eyes. "I need to talk with Remus. Is that a problem?"

"Not as long as talking is all that you'll be doing." Sean said lightly, his gaze fixed like a sniper's gun on Remus. "How are you, Lupin?"

"Doing just fine, thank you." Remus responded coolly. "Mind moving aside?"

Sean gave us both a long, searching look. "You may want to wait on your little exit. Professor Slughorn's about to announce the main event."

I frowned, confused. "The main event?"

Just then, there was a loud tinkling of glassware. All eyes turned to stare at Professor Slughorn, who stood in the center of the room, Mara at his side. The portly, short professor looked flushed, as if he'd already had too much butterbeer, as he said, "Welcome, welcome! Happy Halloween, if I do say so myself! Welcome!"

There was a smattering of applause. Professor Slughorn took another drink from his cup, which was filled with amber liquid.

"I would like to introduce to you my guest of honor!" Professor Slughorn said in a booming voice that made Remus wince. "She has graciously consented to come tonight to our little get-together, despite her very busy schedule. Please warmly welcome the one and only Madam Goldie Cheek!"

There was a loud round of whooping applause. Sean clapped, but his face was stony. Remus looked amazed.

"Who?" I asked, frowning. "Who is Goldie Cheek?"

"She's the most famous Seer of this century." Remus explained as a short, plump black witch in purple and gold veils waddled forward, embracing Professor Slughorn tightly and bowing slightly. She had a contagious, genuine smile, and I found myself drawn to her. I wanted to talk to her, to speak to her, to see if maybe she knew anything about my own problem with visions.

"People say that she's Cassandra Trelawney's successor." Remus added as the crowd of students and teachers quickly swamped her, hiding her from view. Several ghosts also tried to make their way to the Seer. "She's very gifted. No wonder Slughorn brought her here tonight."

"I've met her." Sean said. "She's the real deal. She told me that one day I would meet…" he trailed off, going slightly pink.

"Meet who?" I asked.

A muscle jerked in his cheek. "Nothing. Forget it." I noticed that there were purple shadows underneath Sean's eyes. He looked tired, pale. Not at all like he was outside practicing Quidditch day in and day out. Something was off. And very wrong.

Maybe Remus wasn't the one I needed to speak to at the moment.

"Sean, are you alright?" I asked quietly, so that Remus couldn't hear me.

A shadow flickered across Sean's face. He looked away, jaw clenched. "I'm fine."

I stared at him. Surely he wasn't going to lie to me. "Can we talk?"

Sean rolled his eyes. "Don't you want to finish chatting with Lupin first?" His tone dripped with venomous sarcasm, and I found myself taking a step back, repelled.

Sean's face softened. He let out a long, gusty sigh, and I saw my old Sean again. "I'm sorry, Amber. That was uncalled for." He dragged a hand through his sandy brown hair, making it stand on end. "I haven't been myself lately."

I watched him carefully. "No, you haven't." What was the matter with him?

Sean gave a small smile as Lily and Harry returned. They were holding hands. Lily was glowing, her eyes strangely bright. She smiled so wide that her teeth were showing.

"Having a good time?" I asked.

Lily nodded. "I am now." She gave Harry a melting expression that made me want to cringe. _If I ever look at Remus or Sean like that, I hope someone pushes me off the Astronomy Tower. _I thought in disgust.

"Amber, how… rural." Harry said, grinning. "You look like you just got done mucking the horse stalls."

"Thank you, I realize that I'm a country bumpkin." I said tartly, tugging irritably on the end of my braid. It looked like Madam Cheek would be occupied for a long time, along with Professor Slughorn. Mara was deep in conversation with two girls I had never seen before, but who both looked oddly familiar.

My mouth dropped open. "Excuse me," I told the four of my friends, "I'll be right back."

"Grab me some punch!" Lily called after me. I wove my way through the throng toward my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and the two girls, who looked to be my age. Both of them had long, dark hair. One wore glasses and had clever hazel eyes. The other had gray ones. Both looked extremely smug and sneaky.

"Oh, hello, Amber," Mara said. "I was wondering if you would be well enough to attend. You look peachy enough."

"Thank you." I said sourly. I had never felt less 'peachy' before in my life. "Can I have a word with these two?"

"Oh, yes." Mara said. "I was just telling them what nice _costumes_ they have." She winked at the two girls, who giggled madly. "I'll be over here with Professor Slughorn. He was asking about tickets to the next game I'm playing."

Mara departed. I focused my full attention on the two girls, shaking my head in complete disbelief. "You two are impossible."

The girl wearing glasses giggled. "You're just jealous that I'm prettier than you. I'm Grace Potter."

"And I'm Eris Black." The other girl said, grinning wolfishly. Both were wearing skirts and far too much make-up.

"You two look ridiculous." I snapped. "It looks like your faces were gang-banged by Crayola. And what is that god-awful _stench?_"

"It's our perfume!" James-Grace said shrilly, batting her huge false lashes. "Don't you like it?"

"We picked it out at Dervish and Bangs." Sirius-Eris said proudly. "It was the pinkest bottle we could find, so we bought it. Just two Galleons!"

I covered my nose with my sleeve, repulsed. "You two smell like baby prostitutes. How did you end up this way?"

"Professor Smith, er, _Mara_ gave us a special potion." James-Grace explained. "It changes us into our counterparts for three whole hours."

"I'm so glad we finally get to be in touch with our feminine sides." Sirius-Eris gushed. "But I never knew that girls had so many issues. Like shaving, and having to be careful when you run without a bra, since-"

"Okay!" I held up a hand for silence, the other covering my nose. "I get it. You're both crazy. And I can't believe Mara would give you something like that."

"She's fun." James-Grace said devilishly. "She's got an awesome sense of humor. Practical joker. Oh no, Sean Locke's staring at me." She and Sirius-Eris giggled loudly, fanning at their faces. Sean was staring at them with a perplexed expression on his face.

I marched over to Sean and Remus. Lily and Harry were dancing to the background music playing from Slughorn's gramophone in the center of the room. I shook my head.

"Who are they?" Sean asked mildly. "Transfer students?"

"No, just two idiots." I informed him. "This feels like the time Minnie got drunk and took her wig off at my birthday party and started dancing on the dessert table."

Remus laughed. "I remember that. Is that who I think it is?"

I grimaced. "Unfortunately, yes. Just ignore them. I don't know why they did this."

"To sneak in, of course." Remus said, grinning. "That's brilliant. I'd never do it, but I commend them for their daring. Wow."

"Wow?" I echoed. "More like 'ugh'. Come on, I don't want to catch their stupid."

Sean had disappeared. He had moved toward his cousin, and now they were talking in subdued tones over by Professor Slughorn. The latter was helping himself to another glass of oak-matured mead, his face red and shiny.

"You said you wanted to speak to me?" Remus reminded me. "Now that we're alone…"

I flushed. "Um, yeah. I guess now is a good time. Can we go outside?"

But before we could go outside, Madam Cheek intercepted us. Her shining brown eyes caught mine just as her fat little hand gripped my arm. "Excuse me! But do you have a little sister named Virginia?"

I froze, then went cold at her question. "I did. She's dead."

Madam Cheek didn't seem deterred. "I know, I heard. I'm so sorry. She would have been a third year this year, yes?"

I didn't like the direction of this conversation. I jerked my arm away, the anger rising. "Yes." I said crisply. "Come on, Remus."

"Miss! Amber, is it? Amber, wait a moment! Please!"

I gritted my teeth, just wanting to leave. It was bad enough that Lily had already ditched me for my cousin. Now Sean was going through a midlife crisis at eighteen, Mara had given James and Sirius gender-switching potions, I was poorly dressed for the occasion, and I had to tell Remus that I had killed his ex-girlfriend. To top it off, this fat little woman wanted to talk to me about my dead sister, which was an off-limits subject at all times.

"Let's just go." I told Remus. "_Now._"

"Wait!" Madam Cheek said. "Just a moment. Please. I need to speak to you. Professor Slughorn said you'd be here at this party. I've waited all day to talk to you."

Summoning the last vestiges of my patience, I slowly revolved on the spot to face her. She was a few inches shorter than me, and I had glare down at her. "What." I asked flatly.

Madam Cheek looked perplexed. "Wait a moment… didn't she tell you? Before she died?"

My hands were shaking at my sides. My wand was within reach, just a second away in my pocket. It took all my willpower not to grab it and use a Silencing Charm on her. "Tell me _what_."

Remus looked nervous at my side. I could tell he was a moment away from escorting me from the room to prevent me from attacking this toad-like woman.

Madam Cheek's eyes bugged. "She _didn't _tell you… But why?"

"Alright. Good-bye, Mrs. Butt-cheek, or whatever your name is." I turned, ready to storm out the door and break it off its hinges.

"Amber," Remus said quietly, right at my side.

"Your sister Virginia was very special!" Madam Cheek cried, waddling to keep pace. She followed me to the door, Remus carefully between us so that I couldn't hex her. Striving for patience, I closed my eyes and focused on happy things. Chocolate. Horseback riding. Swimming in the lake. Kissing Remus.

I blushed hotly at the last memory, temporarily forgetting my anger.

"She didn't tell you." Madam Cheek said breathlessly. "Oh, Merlin's beard. I can't believe it."

"Tell her what?" Remus asked, before I could open my mouth and curse the blabbering toad.

Madam Cheek looked utterly nonplussed. "That she was a Seer. Your sister Virginia was a Seer."

* * *

Remus and Madam Cheek had led me to a quiet corner of Professor Slughorn's cavernous study. He poured me a cup of strong black tea, looking grim. His eyes kept darting to my face and to Madam Cheek, who was trying to explain to me my sister's secret.

"I'm sorry, what?" I said finally, interrupting her flow of words. I was barely listening, none of her words registering in my brain. All I could think of was growing up and Virginia somehow knowing things that she couldn't have possibly been aware of. She had predicted the birth of my cousins Ruby and Opal, even though their mother was told she could never have children. Virginia had foretold the death of Minnie's husband, Great-Grandpa Liam, to the exact day. She had warned me about Lord Voldemort before he ever rose to power, like he was doing now. There were a handful of other examples, but it was all starting to make sense. We had always thought she was just lucky, or somehow communicating with some kind of spirit.

But now, this… It explained everything.

_Had she known she was going to die? _I wondered, a sick feeling in my stomach. _Is that why she gave me her necklace? Is that why she told me to live my life to the fullest?_

I could still picture her pale, waifish face the very last time we had spoken. She had given me a ride on Thunder to the train station after the Christmas holiday. Her sky-blue eyes had been so intense, so full of warning.

"_Listen to me. Things are going to change. I know it. Be careful. Don't go looking for trouble. Please. Naomi needs you. Promise me. I love you Amber. Please, please be careful._

"_I'll see you this summer."_

The last thing she had ever said to me.

My hands clenched so tightly around the cup of tea that I was afraid it was going to break. I tried my best not to think of my dead sister. It had gotten easier, once I had learned that I wasn't guilty of her death, to move on. Slowly, day by day, I had thought of her less and less, until she was a memory that would cross my mind once every few days. But I hadn't thought of her like this since her death, and the pain cut through the healed scars like an axe. I bit my lip, trying to process the flood of emotions coursing through me.

_A Seer. _Virginia had been a Seer. How could she not have told me?

"Your father knew what she was." Madam Cheek told me. "He works in the Department of Mysteries with me. I assumed you knew. If you don't know, then I'm sure your mother and your littlest sister don't know."

I gritted my teeth. I didn't like the way Madam Cheek referred to my family, as if she knew everything about us. "I guess."

"Do you want me to leave?" Remus asked. He wanted to see if we wanted privacy.

"No." I said firmly, resting a hand on his arm. "Stay."

Remus nodded once. Madam Cheek cleared her throat, looking awed and embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry for upsetting you." She said in her fluttery voice. "I just thought you of all people knew about her gift. You see, every Seer is documented in the Department of Mysteries. Your sister was the most recent Seer to be born this century."

"Anyone else I know on that list?" I asked curtly. _Like me? _

Madam Cheek shook her head. "Sorry, dear, but no. And I couldn't tell you if I knew."

I rolled my eyes. Already, this woman was irritating me. Again. She was a walking contradiction. I sipped my tea loudly, wanting to get up and leave.

"I wondered if you had any Seer ability in you," Madam Cheek went on. "But you aren't on the list of named Seers, so I suppose not."

I bit back a retort. Wasn't this woman just saying how she couldn't reveal the identities of the Seers?

"Of course, Seers are extremely rare." Madam Cheek said. "I wouldn't expect you to be one yourself, dear."

"Madam Cheek," I said in a cold voice, trying to be polite, "can you please explain to me a bit further… what exactly a Seer is?"

Madam Cheek nodded enthusiastically, her huge gold hoop earrings swinging wildly. "Of course, dear. You see, Seers are witches or wizards who have the ability to See into the future with their Inner Eye. Seeing into the future is incredibly difficult, however, since every single action has an action, reaction, and consequence. Nothing is truly set in stone in the future."

I studied her earnest, shining face. "So Seers can't see into the past?"

Madam Cheek frowned. "Not usually. Almost every Seer has the exclusive ability to see the future. And Seers are extremely rare. You only see one or two every lifetime. However, there was one recorded case of a Seer who had the ability to look forward _and _backward in time."

"Who?" I asked. My heart began to pound, as if I already knew the answer she was going to speak.

"Her name was Sapphira Peverell." Madam Cheek said, nodding once. "Of course, she lived a very, very long time ago. Almost a thousand years ago. In fact, I believe she was one of the first students to attend Hogwarts."

I stared at her, the blood draining from my face. Remus was frozen as well. He, Lily, Dumbledore, and Professor Smith knew about my vision. But nothing could have prepared us for this.

"What happened to her?" I asked, dropping my voice so low that she had to bend forward to hear me. Remus leaned in closer, so that his scent wreathed around me. I had to fight off the distraction and focus on gathering my answers.

"Well, she was murdered." Madam Cheek said quietly. "She died in a battle between her village and another one. She was only twenty-four years old."

"She went to Hogwarts?" I pressed.

"Yes. Gryffindor, I believe. It's been awhile since I read through the Codex."

"Codex?" I echoed.

Madam Cheek nodded. "Oh, yes. There's a roster of every Seer written in the Department of Mysteries. The Azra Codex."

"And Salvatore Slytherin? Anything about him?"

Madam Cheek frowned. "Salazar Slytherin's grandson? No. Why?"

I remembered the vision, the clear playfulness and even flirtatious manner of the young man. "Nothing." I said. "No reason."

"Like I said, I am surprised that you didn't know about Virginia's ability as a Seer." Madam Cheek said ruefully. "She was going to be my apprentice once she graduated Hogwarts. I had known about her since she was born and her name was put down on the list of the Codex."

Remus put his hand on mine, startling me. His green eyes were electric, alive with energy. "May I have a quick word?"

I nodded. "Excuse us."

Madam Cheek nodded, pulling out her purse and dabbing at her nose with a powder puff. Remus pulled me into a corner away from ears, his face set tight.

"Amber, be careful." He said very quietly. "I'm sure Dumbledore warned you not to talk about your visions."

I returned his gaze squarely. "I haven't."

"I know, but doesn't this seem a little… odd, to you?" He asked. "I know she seems like a goldmine of information, but this all seems a little too convenient. A day after your vision, and suddenly this witch just _appears _with all of the answers? You need to be careful."

"Why does everyone tell me that?" I muttered, thinking of Virginia, Dumbledore, Lily, and now Remus.

"Because," Remus said gently, "you tend to overlook dangers and not realize them until it's too late. You're a brilliant witch, Amber. The brightest I've ever met. But you're not perfect, and I'm trying to warn you that this doesn't feel right."

I chewed my lip. "I don't think she's lying. Or using me."

"I know." Remus said. "But something's not right. Maybe she was given some kind of potion that will keep her talking. Or maybe she's been Imperiused."

I stared at him. "You could be right."

Remus nodded. "Maybe we should tell Dumbledore."

I looked back at Madam Cheek, who was now nibbling on a chocolate frosted doughnut. "You go get Dumbledore," I said softly. "I'll stay here with her and make sure she doesn't leave."

"Should I tell Mara?" He asked.

"No. Just get the Headmaster as fast as possible. Go on. I'll be here with her." I almost leaned forward and pecked his cheek and had to remind myself that we weren't a couple. Blushing, I stepped away from him and sat back down in my chair. I forced a small smile as Remus left.

"Where's your boyfriend going?" Madam Cheek asked, watching him retreat in the crowd.

"He had to use the bathroom. And he's not my boyfriend."

Madam Goldie Cheek grinned mischievously. "Would you like to know _who _you'll marry?"

I went hot from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. "You can tell that?" I asked before I could stop myself.

She nodded. "Oh, yes. I can tell very much without needing to go into a trance. It's part of the art of Divination. There's more to it than crystal balls, tea leaves, and palm lines, you know." Before I could say another word, she dumped a small purple pouch of animal bones onto the tablecloth and poked them with her stubby jewel-studded fingers. She swept them into a brass bowl and looked at me. "Set the bones on fire."

I hesitated. "Are you sure?"

She waved a hand flippantly. "Darling, I do this for a living. You know the spell, I hope?"

I bristled indignantly. "Of course I do." I drew my wand, pointing it at the bowl of bones. "_Incendio_."

The flames immediately ignited the animal bones like they were dry kindling. Cracks split the bones, snapping the air.

"Oh my," Madam Cheek crooned. "Oh _my_."

I searched her face while the bones crackled away in the bowl. "What? What do you see? Who is it? Who do I marry?"

"This is… this isn't possible." Madam Cheek said dramatically. "My dear… the bones are telling me that you are already married. But no, wait… no, this cannot be. You can't be married to a vampire. No, it's something else… oh, I see now. It's a-"

"Amber! Amber, m'dear! I was just hoping to have a word with you!" Professor Slughorn slurred, his face cherry red. His portly stomach bumped into the small table, knocking everything off of it. The teapot, the tea cups, the bowl of bones, all went crashing to the floor. I leapt to my feet, letting out a shout of despair.

"No!" I cried, as Professor Slughorn chortled merrily with an, "Oops! Ought to lay off the crystallized pineapple, I suppose."

"Who was it?" I wailed, distraught. "Madam Cheek? Which boy was it?"

But Madam Cheek was shaking her head. "I'm so sorry, dear. I was about to make out the crack in the bone but unfortunately, I couldn't finish reading it in time." She cast a dark look at Professor Slughorn. "Had enough to drink, Horace?"

Professor Slughorn laughed merrily. "Not quite enough, Goldie." He looked imploringly at me, his beady little eyes bloodshot. "Sean Locke was just telling me what a promising Quidditch player you are! You must be, since he trained you himself and he's a professional!"

"Semi-professional," I corrected, wondering if he was the husband Madam Cheek had been reading. Or if it had been Remus.

Or maybe somebody else entirely.

"Ah, very well, very well," Professor Slughorn said carelessly, "I also hear you're quite the Charms master! _And _Miss Evans tells me you've got her and Mr. Lupin riding for top of the class! Three valedictorians… now wouldn't _that _be something…" He withdrew a thick cigar from his vest, placing it on his lips.

"Now, Horace," Goldie chided, "smoking is banned inside the castle."

Professor Slughorn cleared his throat loudly, eyeing the room full of people before stowing his cigar back into his smoking jacket. "Quite right you are, Goldie! Quite right!" His booming voice carried to every corner of the room. "Now, how about a little bit of fun? I have bobbing for apples, magic mirrors, pumpkin bowling, blind food tasting, and my personal favorite, a little gambling with spider poker!" He lumbered off to join the poker table where James-Grace, Sirius-Eris, and Sean sat. Mara approached me now, smiling politely at Madam Cheek.

"Hello, my dear," Madam Cheek said dramatically, as I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the mess on the floor and said, "_Tergeo."_ The fallen items replaced themselves on the righted table, but the bones were blackened and useless now. There were no cracks, just scorch marks and ash.

"Having some fun?" Mara asked casually.

Madam Cheek nodded. "Unfortunately, I think dear old Horace has had a little too much to drink. I was just about to tell this young lady who her future husband is."

"Ah, I see." Mara's dark green eyes twinkled merrily. "My vote's in for my cousin, but I think he's got some competition with your little friend Lupin."

I smacked a head to my forehead. "There _is _no competition. I'm just a normal girl, who likes reading and sarcasm. That's pretty much all there is to it. No guys are involved. Alright?"

Mara chuckled. "Whatever you say, Amber." She looked squarely at Madam Cheek now. "If you don't mind me asking, what were you talking about over here? Other than marriage and boring stuff like that."

"Well," Madam Cheek giggled, "I _could _tell you who your father is."

Mara's face went pink. She recovered quickly and tossed her long dark brown hair over one shoulder. "That won't be necessary. My mother will tell me his identity when she's ready."

"Ah, but my dear!" Madam Cheek said dramatically. "You are already twenty-two years old! A girl should know who her father from the beginning."

Mara's eyes darkened. I could tell this was a forbidden subject, and she changed the subject by asking, "Did you see anyone before you came to the party tonight, Madam Cheek? Anyone of interest?"

Madam Cheek plucked a flute of sparkling mead from a passing house elf's tray. She drank deeply, her face serene. "As a matter of fact, there was a very handsome gentleman at the Three Broomsticks, where I'm staying tonight. He bought me dinner there, as a matter of fact."

A warning prickle ran up my spine. Mara exchanged a meaningful look with me. "What did he look like?" She asked.

Madam Cheek batted her eyelashes. "Tall, pale, handsome. And _young_. Why, I'm sixty-three years old, and he couldn't have been more than twenty-five or twenty-six. Blonde, and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. Like glaciers."

"Anything else?" Mara pressed. "Was he wearing a cape or a red cloak?"

"As a matter of fact," Madam Cheek said after draining the flute, "he was wearing a burgundy cape with a hood. Long ponytail. He was very polite and very courteous." She flushed. "He asked me to come back for dessert after the party, in fact."

I felt a deep chill in my bones. I knew someone who fit that description to a t. And Mara shared the same look of shock and disbelief.

"Madam Cheek, did you accept anything from him, other than dinner?" Mara asked in a very serious tone. "Anything at all? Flowers, a drink, perfume, jewelry?"

Madam Cheek blushed. "Well, that's a little private, don't you think?"

"I think that you should be more careful who you talk to." I said coldly.

Madam Cheek looked at me in surprised. "Now, really. That's no way to talk to your elders, young lady."

"Madam Cheek, I think you should come with me." Mara said. "We need to see the Headmaster."

"I am here." Professor Dumbledore appeared from the crowd, the light glinting off of his half-moon spectacles. Professor Slughorn chortled happily.

"Albus! Oh, I'm so glad you could join us! Here, have a brandy."

Professor Dumbledore smiled gently at the Potions master. "Another time, Horace. Mara, Madam Cheek." He kissed the Seer's hand. "May I have a word?"

Madam Cheek frowned. "I suppose so." She waved at Professor Slughorn. "I shall return shortly, Horace! Place a bet for me, will you?"

But the Potions professor didn't seem to hear him. He was now talking loudly to Severus Snape, who was hardly paying the old man any attention. His black eyes were fixed on the dancing pair of Lily and Harry, who were clearly enjoying themselves very much on the floor.

Remus appeared at my side as Madam Cheek, Professor Dumbledore, and Mara disappeared. He pursed his lips. "I hope she's going to be alright."

I bit my lip. "I don't know. I think she met Folsom in Hogsmeade."

Remus inhaled sharply. "What?"

"Yeah. She said he treated her to dinner. I don't know what he did to her, but something definitely isn't right with Madam Cheek." I hesitated. "Do you think she just made all of that stuff up? About Sapphira and my sister being a Seer?"

Remus' jaw flexed. "Only one way to find out. You need to send an owl to your father. It's time to ask him some questions."

Sighing, I nodded. "You're right. Do you think he'll actually tell me the truth? He didn't even tell me he used to be a Quidditch hero."

"Sometimes people hide things to protect others from the truth." Remus said wisely. "Trust me. I know."

I didn't push him. As much as I wanted to wrangle Lily away from my cousin and bring her with us, I couldn't bear to interrupt her evening. She looked so happy, so full of joy. Severus Snape was watching her with a mixture of anguish and jealousy.

"Do you still want to talk to Sean?" Remus asked. "He's looking at us."

I blanched. Sean wore the same miserable expression that Severus had. His eyes connected with mine as he lifted a gobletful of mead to his lips and drank deeply. The intensity of his feelings were clear.

But hadn't I already told him how I felt? That day in Hogsmeade, I had made it clear that I wasn't ready for anything serious. I didn't believe my age was to blame. Rather, I felt more lost in the tide of schoolwork, friends, and trying to figure out who _I _was. I certainly wasn't ready to plunge into a relationship when I didn't know myself completely. And now, the visions. The necklace. Folsom. Lord Voldemort.

I cringed at the thought of the name. "He'll understand. Come on. I'm sure Soren is in the Owlery."

"Should we tell the others?" Remus asked. "Lily and Harry?"

"I don't think they'd notice if a meteor crashed to Earth." I said dryly as I watched them dance. "They're in their own little world."

Remus smiled. "And James and Sirius?"

"Definitely not. Where's Peter?"

Remus frowned, crossing his arms. "I don't know. He said he wasn't feeling well after the lake. Maybe he's resting."

I waved a hand impatiently. "We don't have time to find out. We need to get that letter to my dad. Come on."

I squeezed through the crowd of bodies and escaped into the hallway with Remus at my heels. Even though I was perfectly capable of going to the owlery myself, I didn't want to be alone right now. Especially with the possibility of Folsom being only a few miles away in Hogsmeade village. The thought chilled me like a winter wind.

"Do you think Filch is skulking around?" Remus whispered as we walked quietly down the deserted stone corridors. The sky was pitch-black outside, the moon and stars concealed by the thick clouds that had persisted since the afternoon. I could smell more snow coming. I shivered as I pulled my arms around myself.

"I hope not." I said in a hushed voice. "I don't know what this world is coming to. You think you've got it figured out, and then…"

Remus grimaced. "I know. It's not what we expected, is it?"

The way he said 'we' made my face heat up. I changed the subject. "I think I'm less than a year away from becoming an Animagus."

Remus grinned. "Really? That's awesome, Amber. You think you'll be a griffin?"

I nodded. "That's my Patronus. I guess that it would make sense for…" I trailed off. We had barely passed by the Founder's portraits. My eyes were drawn to Helga Hufflepuff first, the ancestor of Sean, Mara, and Professor Smith. I barely registered the faces of Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw as I sought out the portrait of Salazar Slytherin, the grandfather of the man who haunted my dreams, along with Sapphira Peverell.

What did it all mean? How was it possible for me to see them? What did the necklace have to do with it? Dumbledore hadn't been able to give me the answers that I needed. Maybe he was right, and the library would hold more clues. Or perhaps Madam Cheek had spoken the truth. The 'Azra Codex' in the Department of Mysteries could have been where I'd learn more about her.

I shook my head, sighing. "None of this makes any sense." Folsom, Voldemort, Sapphira Peverell, Salvatore Slytherin, the necklace, Sean Locke, Remus Lupin. I didn't understand anything, except that I was hopelessly outnumbered by the number of mysteries in my life. How could I have possibly ever thought myself smart or competent, when I couldn't even figure out how to become an Animagus? Sirius had already done it, a whole year ago, just like Peter had said.

_Why me? _I wanted to wail, but I closed my mouth before I could whine aloud.

"We'll figure it out." Remus promised. "Come on. We need to get to the Owlery, and it's a long climb upstairs."

I sighed. "I guess you're right." We left behind the portraits of the Hogwarts Headmasters, Headmistresses, and Founders. The Owlery was located at the very top of the West Tower, which was more flights of stairs than I wanted to count. Remus and I walked in almost total silence, the tension mounting between us. I could feel the ghost of Angelina rising up within me, and I knew that if I didn't come clean now, it was only going to make it worse when I finally told him the truth.

"Remus," I said in a shaky voice as we reached the halfway point to the Owlery. "I need to tell you something."

Remus' eyes flickered warily. "I think I know what it is."

My mouth went dry. "You do?"

Remus nodded. "You still have feelings for me."

I blushed furiously. That had been the last thing I expected him to say. I wanted to cover my face with my hands. "Remus, that's not… no, that's not what I need to tell you. It's far more serious."

Remus glanced at me as we climbed higher, passing snoozing portraits. "What is it, then?"

The shaking worsened until I had to use the bannisters for support. _Tell him. Just do it. Rip off the bandage. Just get it over with. It's like vomiting. The worst part is actually doing it. Once it's out, you'll feel loads better._

_I hope._

"Remus," I said, trying my best not to cry. I kept the tears at bay by speaking in a low tone. "You know how Angelina died, right?"

At once, Remus' face changed. It went from curious to guarded within a split second. He exhaled loudly. Angelina was a forbidden subject with him just like Virginia was off-limits with me. "No." He said curtly. "They never released the information publicly. Why? Do you know?" His eyes flashed. "Was it quick and painless? Did she… did she suffer?"

His voice was so uncertain, so soft, that my heart broke for him. Even though he and Angelina had broken up before her death, it was clear he still cared about her. "It was quick and painless." I confirmed robotically. I was trying so hard not to think about how our friendship was about to change forever. Again.

"How… how do you know?" Remus rasped. "Who told you? Why didn't you tell me?"

I stopped walking now. We were on one of the last landings, near the highest floors of the castle. I felt sick, like I was about to vomit. I swallowed hard, summoning my willpower. _Tell him. You have to tell him._

"Oh, God." I whispered, scrubbing my face with my hands. "This is so hard." How could I tell him? How?

"Amber?" Remus approached me, his hands on my wrists. "Amber. Look at me. Tell me what's wrong."

He sounded so concerned. I wanted to kill myself. I forced myself to look at him in the face. By now, my eyes were swimming with tears again, but I couldn't stop them.

"Remus, I… In that meeting that I had with Dumbledore and Professor Smith? They unlocked my memory. I had been Imperiused by Mulciber. You know him. One of the Slytherin gang. Well, he's one of You-Know-Who's followers now." Oh, God. I had to tell him.

Remus didn't say anything. He merely looked at me, waiting.

I took a shaky breath. "While I was under the Imperius Curse, I went out into the Forbidden Forest. I met Angelina there." _Here it comes._

"The curse made me do it. I did it, Remus. Oh, Remus, I'm so sorry. I… I was the one who killed Angelina. I used the Killing Curse on her."

I watched the flickers of emotions crossing Remus' face. Shock. Disbelief. Anger. Horror. Denial.

"You… you can't… you couldn't… you _wouldn't_ have." Remus stammered. He backed away, his face in his hands. "You _killed _her?" He whispered.

I wanted to scream. My heart was twisting inside of me like a snake. "I didn't do it on purpose, Remus! Mulciber _made _me do it! I never would have killed her! She didn't deserve it. Remus, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Please, you have to believe me. It wasn't my fault!"

Remus looked haunted. He swallowed hard, staring at me like he had never seen me before. I felt sicker than ever, but oddly, I felt strangely free. Like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. It was the same sense I had had after confessing about Virginia's death to Professor Smith last spring.

"You… _killed _her." Remus repeated.

Tears spilled down my cheeks. Distraught, I wept. I had lost him. He was going to leave me, just like I knew he would. _Oh, God. Oh, God! How am I going to get through without him? I love him! I love him more than anything. Please, God. I never want to hurt him. God!  
_I sobbed in the silence, the aftermath of my words hanging in the air like smoke after a bomb. And then I felt it: a warm weight enveloping me. My eyes popped open in shock. Remus was holding me. He was trembling from head to foot, but he was holding me.

_Oh, God… does he forgive me? Does he still care about me?_

"I'm so sorry, Remus." I whispered brokenly into his chest. He was a full head taller than me now. When we had first met, I had been an inch higher than him. Now he was becoming a man, growing, growing up, leaving me behind.

"It wasn't your fault." Remus said tightly, his arms around me. "It wasn't your fault."

I couldn't quite wrap my mind around the fact that he was still here, that he hadn't left me in the wake of what I had just told him. He held for another minute, releasing me only when I was able to stand steady. His green eyes were so bright, like emeralds, his face pinched with grief.

"Thank you for telling me." He said hoarsely.

I wanted to weep at the intensity of his pain that I saw, barely concealed. "I'm sorry, Remus."

"Come on," he said quietly, taking my hand, but not interlacing our fingers. "Let's write that letter to your dad. Then we can talk some more."

I swallowed hard. "You want to talk?"

Remus paused. "I don't know. I need time to process this… but I don't want to be alone right now. I need my best friend. I need you."

I didn't know what to say to this. Silent, I let him lead us up into the high, drafty Owlery. It was filled with straw, droppings, and owl pellets. Soren fluttered down from his nest like a ghost, landing lightly on my arm. He clicked his pink beak affectionately, his liquid black eyes glittering in the light of Remus' lit wand tip.

"Hey, buddy," I said, smoothing his feathers with my other hand, pulling it free from Remus. "I need you to deliver a message to Dad, okay?"

Soren flapped his wings. I hastily scrawled a note to my father on a napkin I had taken from the party, using a forgotten quill lying in the ground to write. It had enough ink left in it for a quick note.

_Dear Dad, _

_I need to talk to you about the Department of Mysteries. Please write back ASAP._

_Love, Amber_

I folded the napkin up carefully, wishing I had an envelope to put it in. "Don't lose this." I told the barn owl. "Take it to Dad."

Soren clenched the napkin in his talons. There was pressure as he pushed off from my arm and took flight out of one of the many glassless windows. He was out of sight within a second. Then, Remus and I were alone, with the knowledge of what I'd done to Angelina sitting between us like a hippogriff.

_What now? _I thought as a cold wind blew in through the tower. _What happens now?_


	60. The Serpent Princess

**Here is the latest installment of Amber's tale. The plot continues to thicken... I love reading your speculations and your feedback! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Come on," Remus said, taking my hand again. "It's cold up here. Let's go to the Shack. We can build a fire in the hearth and talk."

I hesitated. "Should we invite the others?"

Remus studied my face. "I think it's best if we're alone right now. I just need you."

My whole body went hot, then cold. "Alright."

Remus and I descended the staircases. It couldn't have been later than ten p.m., but the castle was absolutely deserted. The huge clock tower read 9:30.

"You aren't too tired, are you?" Remus asked as we located the portrait of the lake landscape and slipped behind it into the tunnel that would lead onto the grounds.

"Are you kidding? How many midnight meetings have we had? I've lost count." I had pulled my hand free again so that I could see with my wand light. The tunnel disgorged us into a curtain of hanging ivy. Pushing it past, the grounds of Hogwarts sprawled before us. It was very dark. Only the lights from our wands gave us any sense of sight.

"Do you really think Folsom was in the Three Broomsticks?" I asked Remus as we quickly crossed the lawn towards the Whomping Willow.

Remus looked around. "I don't know. It sounds like he was, but I think we're strong enough to take him on."

I appreciated that he wasn't talking about Angelina, but I knew I wasn't completely off the hook. In fact, now that he knew and had accepted it, I felt closer to him. Closer than I'd ever felt. A warm, powerful feeling had spread from my head to my toes, and every time Remus spoke, my heart skipped a beat. My palms were sweaty, and I felt like I was walking on clouds.

_What's the matter with me? Why do I feel this way? _

Remus levitated a willow twig and immobilized the ferocious tree by pressing the knot at the base where the roots sank into the earth. We crossed into the tunnel and barely acknowledged the mouse that scurried before us, squeaking in fear.

"I hope Peter's alright." I said, thinking of the boy. "I can't believe he was feeling that blue. I always thought that he was just shy. I guess he really was suffering without us knowing."

Remus nodded. "That's something that he shares with the rest of us. Sirius tried to hide his family history. James tries to hide his insecurities by acting cocky. I tried to hide my lycanthropy by pushing you all away. And you…"

"I know. I'm a catastrophe." I said sarcastically as the stairs came into view.

"No," Remus said quietly, his green eyes piercing me, "you're not."

I swallowed hard against the hot rush of heat that flooded through me at his vehemence. I averted my gaze and quickened my pace. We climbed up the stone steps and pushed open the trapdoor that lead into the Shrieking Shack. Remus lit several candles as I made my way into the main room. I had tried to clean up the inside ever since we had decided to use the place as our secret base, but it always seemed to revert back to its filthy state after we left. Maybe it was magicked to be that way.

"There's firewood outside." Remus said. "I'll be back."

He left me alone for a minute while he gathered wood. I took several deep breaths in and out, busying myself by moving around the main room, trying to cool down the heat raging within me. I pointed my wand at several pieces of furniture, including a dirty couch and armchair and said, "_Scourgify._"

The dust vanished. The old loveseat creaked under my weight when I sat down on it, my pulse racing through my veins. Remus returned, his arms full of firewood. He stacked it neatly in the old hearth and pointed his wand at the logs. "_Incendio._"

Remus took a seat beside me. My skin tingled at his closeness. A small voice in my head told me I should move to a different piece of furniture and put distance between us, but I ignored it. I wanted so badly to kiss him, but I knew better. He would just tell me we couldn't be together again.

"I can't believe what Madam Cheek said." Remus said at last, his gaze fixed on the flickering flames. "Sapphira Peverell. Do you think she has anything to do with your visions?"

I shrugged. "I think it definitely has something to do with the necklace. I don't know what kind of object it is, but it's not something I want to wear right now. I'm glad Dumbledore's going to take a second look at it. Maybe he'll be able to sort this whole thing out."

Remus was silent, flexing his arm as he leaned back against the loveseat. The firelight danced in angular shadows across his face, illuminating his old scars. I wanted to kiss them, and found myself blushing hotly at the idea. I tried to redirect the disturbing flow of my thoughts.

"Do you think we'll make it out of this alive?" I asked quietly.

Remus raised his brows. One long pink scar cut across one his eyebrows, and the separation was even more noticeable when he drews his brows up like that. There were three scars on his face, along with three other marks that disappeared down into his shirt. Each were the same cruel result of werewolf claws. Remus stared at me until I looked away into the fire. "What makes you say that?" He asked.

I shrugged again. "I don't know. I feel like a storm is coming. A war. Lord… You-Know-Who. He's the real deal, isn't he? Worse than Emeric the Evil, or Herpo the Foul. I think he's even worse than Grindelwald."

"Such a Ravenclaw." Remus said wryly. "I think you're right. But I also think we'll be okay."

_But Angelina wasn't. _I wanted to say, but I couldn't bring myself to speak her name aloud. Especially now. Especially after what I had done. "I'm afraid, Remus." I admitted quietly.

Remus looked at me, his expression enigmatic. "You don't have to be. You're a strong fighter. We'll be okay. We'll make it through whatever comes."

"And Peter?" I challenged. "And Sirius? James? Lily?" I thought about Virginia and Angelina, how they were already gone. "Who else are we going to lose, Remus? A war hasn't even started yet, and we've already lost people."

"Stop thinking that way." Remus said firmly. "You can't give into despair. You always have to hope. Once you start to think that way, it's pointless. Don't ever lose hope, Amber. If you do, it's not just the battle that's lost. It's the whole war."

I blew out a heavy breath, fighting tears, which seemed so constant nowadays, always just below the surface. I was so tired of crying. The onslaught of emotions swirled inside of me like a tornado, devastating and ruthless. "I wish I knew why I have this visions. I wish I knew who those men were. I see them dead, all the time. I wish I knew why Dad hid so many secrets from us. I wish Virginia was still alive. I wish you and I…" I trailed off. "Wishing won't change things, will it?"

Remus studied my face. He had turned pink at my words. "No, it won't."

"Do you ever wish Greyback had never attacked you?" I asked on an impulse. I felt a flood of guilt when I saw his face harden. His scars were more prevalent than ever.

"I don't know." Remus admitted. "Sometimes, I think that. I wish that I didn't have this curse of the moon. But then again, it's made me who I am. And I wouldn't change that." Remus smiled sadly at me. "I think you're in the same boat."

I tugged on the end of my braid. "I don't know what kind of boat I'm in. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning."

"I'd jump off my boat and save you." Remus vowed. "You wouldn't drown."

I laughed softly. "Doggy paddling all the way, right?"

Remus chuckled. "That's the only way I swim." His face took on a more serious edge. "Amber, I want you to promise me something."

I sat up straighter, taking a steadying breath. "What?"

Remus leaned forward, the firelight reflecting in his green eyes. "Promise me that no matter how dark things get, no matter what happens, you'll never lose hope. Promise me."

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest. His words sounded so familiar. I realized that it was because his request was so similar to Virginia's last request.

"You'd better not die on me, Remus John Lupin." I said sharply. "I mean it."

Remus smiled faintly. "I know. But if that _does _happen, promise me."

I drew back, as if he'd slapped me. "I don't want to live without you." I said in a tremulous voice. "I don't think I _can_."

Remus' expression changed. He leaned forward, so close that I could see the tiny blue veins in his eyelids. My heart pounded so hard I swore he could hear it. "Promise me." He whispered, his green eyes fathomless.

My lips parted. We were so close that our breaths mingled. "You first." I said at last.

The flames reflected in his eyes, and I felt the heat all the way inside of every cell in my body. "I promise." Remus said quietly. "Your turn."

I swallowed hard, fighting the desire to lean forward and kiss him again like I had in June with every ounce of willpower I possessed. "I promise." I said at last.

Remus leaned forward a fraction of an inch. My heart pounded in double time as my eyes drifted shut and leaned closer, a drumbeat filling every space inside of me.

And then the fire blew itself out.

My eyes popped open. I blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden darkness and cold. Remus swore under his breath and drew his wand. "_Lumos._"

The willow wand tip ignited. Slowly, he rose to his feet. I drew my own wand, my heart pounding again, but this time, because of fear. The house creaked and moaned in the wind. The floorboards groaned.

"Is someone here?" I whispered, unable to hide the panic in my voice.

Remus gave me a hard look. "Quiet. Listen."

I gripped my wand tighter, my hands shaking. Folsom had found the building once before. Would he dare come back, after Willow's warning?

"I feel like we're being watched." I whispered. "Remus?"

"Listen." He repeated in a soft voice.

I did, hard. At first, I only heard the sound of the wind making the house creak and moan. Then I heard the front door open and slam, and the sound of male voices.

"Quick!" Remus hissed, ushering me to the trapdoor. But before we could get down the first three steps, the voices came closer, and I saw the shadows of several figures coming closer.

"This place is so creepy." One voice muttered, sounding annoyed. It was Regulus Black, Sirius' little brother. "Why'd we have to pick _this _place?"

"Because it's the most haunted building in Britain." Another voice said, and I recognized it as Logan Avery. "And we won't be disturbed here."

"Are you sure she's going to be here?" Regulus asked. "She promised?"

"Shut up." Avery said bitterly. "You sound like a little schoolgirl with a crush. She'll be here. Hurry up."

In the time that we had listened to the talk, Remus and I had silently hurried to one of the bedrooms on the second floor of the Shrieking Shack. Remus drew the door shut noiselessly as we looked around the room. We had explored every inch of this house with the other Marauders, and Remus himself dwelt inside once a month during his transformations. I made for the broken window, but Remus shook his head.

"Wait." He whispered. "Not yet."

I stared at him. "Why not?"

But Remus pointed with his wand to the sound of male voices, filling the room we had just vacated. "I want to know why they're here." Remus whispered.

Heart pounding in my throat, I quickly pressed against the wall, listening through one of the cracks in the plaster.

"It looks like someone's been here." A cold voice said, Edward Nott.

"This house is haunted." Avery said dismally. "It was probably a ghost."

"Ghosts can make fire?" Nott asked. "The wood in the hearth was recently burned."

There was a beat of silence. Then Avery gave a small snort. "You sound a paranoid old lady, Nott. Just sit down."

"I really don't understand any of you." A new voice said. I almost gasped in shock as I placed the owner of the voice.

It was Severus.

"And why is that?" Regulus demanded in his arrogant voice. "Considering you're the only half-blood, I would assume you knew."

"Is that a challenge, Black?" Severus asked softly. "You know what my curse did to that Harkstone girl last spring… I wonder what it would do to _you_. We could find out right now how pure my blood is, if you'd like."

"Enough." Nott said sharply. "Someone help me start this fire back up. It's bloody cold in here."

Remus and I exchanged a look as we listened to the commotion beyond the wall. "Let's _go_." I mouthed, but Remus shook his head.

"I want to hear this." He murmured. "Just stay quiet."

Frustrated and scared, I had to obey. I wasn't going to leave him alone with those goons. I couldn't stop remembering the last time I had listened in on a conversation of known Dark Lord-supporters, and the terror of being chased through the Forbidden Forest until I reached the outer edges of the castle's protection. I clenched my hands so hard that my fingernails bit into my palm. Remus pressed his ear against the paper-thin wall, listening.

"There." Regulus said triumphantly as the sounds of a crackling fire filled my ears. "It's going. What time was he supposed to be here?"

"Another five minutes." Avery responded. "And she's not here yet."

"I hope she's not angry with us." Regulus said, sounding worried. "I mean, we didn't exactly invite her, did we? She found out about our meeting and she wasn't happy."

"Does it really matter how she found out?" Avery shot back. "She'll be here. Just wait."

"Is Mulciber coming?" Severus asked quietly, and I felt a thrill of fury rush through my veins. I wanted nothing more than a chance at revenge against the slimeball, and Remus looked like he shared my exact feelings.

"No." Avery said. "He's pretty high on the wanted list nowadays. He can't come anywhere near Hogwarts. It's crawling with security. Look!"

A new voice, high-pitched and cold, spoke. The sound made goosebumps creep across my flesh.

"You requested an audience with me?" Folsom's voice said coldly. I stared, wide-eyed, through a crack in the wall.

"We did, sir," Avery said smoothly. "We wanted to check in with you. We haven't heard from you in a few weeks."

"Very well." Folsom said dryly. I couldn't see him, but his voice carried clear through the room as if he was right there with the Slytherin boys. Remus pointed a finger towards the crackling fireplace. Suppressing a gasp, I saw the familiar face embedded in the embers of the crackling flames. Folsom was speaking to them through the fireplace through the Floo Network.

"Get on it with your questions." Folsom spat after several beats of silence. "I haven't got all night."

"Yes, of course, sir," Avery said, his voice dripping with sickly-sweet respect. "You see, there's a problem."

"What problem might that be?" Folsom asked. "Didn't I send Madam Cheek with my blessings to the castle tonight? Didn't I make it easy for you to extract information from her? What's the matter? Were you not able to get to her?"

"Sir, she was escorted by Willow Smith to Professor Slughorn's Halloween party." Regulus said. "We couldn't get to her."

"Such a pity." Folsom said in his cold voice. "I practically deliver that hippo to you on a silver platter, and you can't even finish the job… How disappointing…"

"Sir, we were going to, but Dumbledore's with her now." Avery said. "Besides, what's so important about her anyway? She's just a fat psychic. She can't _really _tell the future. Not on demand, at least."

"You fool!" Folsom snapped. "It wasn't about triggering a Sight! You were supposed to ask her about The Hall of Prophecy. She works in the Department of Mysteries. The Dark Lord wishes to know if anything was said about himself."

There was a beat of silence. "Sir, why couldn't _you _ask her?" Regulus asked, his voice lofty. "Why did it have to be one of us?"

"I have already told you, boy: her mind is protected against those with Dark Marks. She cannot be questioned by a true Death Eater. That's why I needed one of you to ask her the questions. You children are even more pathetic than I ever could have thought possible. All of you think you can one day be trusted enough, _honored _enough, to become Death Eaters yourselves? What a challenge…"

"Sir," Avery pressed on, his voice half-pleading, "what about the Harkstone girl? Does the Dark Lord still wish to obtain her necklace?"

"No, she is of no real consequence, and neither is that necklace of hers. It is a mere copy of the real one he was seeking." Folsom said darkly. "If anything, she is mine. I owe her my 'thanks' for earning me the sack and putting me on the run from the Ministry. However, I believe that The Serpent Princess has personally asked The Dark Lord if she may handle the Harkstone girl until I am able to reunite with the girl myself."

Remus was trembling with rage. I shook as well, but out of fear. Who was the 'Serpent Princess'? Surely, it couldn't be Professor Smith's old alias, from when she herself was a Death Eater? She had long since abandoned the path of the Dark Arts. It couldn't be her.

"What else must we do?" Avery asked. "The Dark Lord has already amassed several giants and now the werewolves. Perhaps we can continue to recruit from inside the very walls of Hogwarts."

"I regret to inform you that you have very little chance of actually converting other students to our cause." Folsom told Avery, his voice full of disdain. "Considering that they've already been attacked three times by our forces. Granted, they were not the intended targets. However, their trust now resides in the Ministry and the school. You would be very lucky to recruit even one student from Hogwarts."

"Sir," Regulus said petulantly. "When we can we get our Dark Marks? We've been loyal to the Dark Lord and the cause. How come Mulciber got his already? It isn't fair."

The fire suddenly blazed, throwing heat even to me and Remus. The boys winced and jumped back.

"I am the Dark Lord's right hand!" Folsom shouted through the blazing flames. "You have no right to question when he deems a follower worthy to become a Death Eater!"

"But…" Regulus whined.

"Silence!" Folsom snarled. The flames dwindled, leaving the acrid tang of smoke in the dusty, dry air. "I will hear no more insubordination from any of you. Your new objective is remain loyal to the Dark Lord and the cause. I will let you know if and when you have your next assignment."

"Can we go now?" I whispered to Remus. "Before they find us?"

Remus gave a curt nod, though he looked like he wanted nothing more than to jump into the next room and fight. Slowly, we inched over to the broken window. "_Muffliato._" I whispered, pointing my wand in the direction of the Slytherins. We crept quietly to the edge of the rotting windowsill. An old trellis made of iron leaned against the wall, providing an unsteady escape route. But other than jumping two stories, it was our only way down.

"Ladies first?" I asked Remus quietly. He sighed, shaking his head. "I'd prefer to go first, to make sure it's safe."

Nodding, I backed up, allowing him to lean out the window first. His feet found purchase in the trellis and he began the slow climb down.

"What'd I miss?" A loud voice said, carrying right through the paper-thin walls. I froze, my feet rooted to the spot.

"Amber!" Remus hissed, only his head visible through the window. "Come on!"

"Wait!" I said, tiptoeing back to the door. I listened hard, heart hammering at the sound of the female voice that I had just heard. _It can't be. _I thought desperately. _Please, no. Not her, too._

"You're late." Folsom's cold voice snapped.

"A lady is never late." The female voice responded regally. "Everyone else is just early."

"Amber!" Remus hissed again. "Come _on!_"

But I couldn't move. It was bad enough that Regulus and Severus had become ensnared with the Dark Arts.

Now, _she_ was involved, too.

"I want you to fill me in on what's been going on, Folsom." The female voice instructed. "And explain why you sent Madam Cheek to me."

I was dragged to the window. Remus had climbed back in and retrieved me. His bright green eyes were hot as he picked me up into his arms and jumped out of the window. I didn't even have time to scream. We landed lightly, surprising me. I had expected it to jarring, painful, but it was like he had jumped a single step down a staircase, not two full stories onto tangled weeds and overgrown grass.

"How did you…" I trailed off, my eyes catching sight of the nearly full moon hanging in the sky. Remus' lycanthropy was much stronger this close to the full moon. A muscle jerked in his cheek as he led me away from the house. We could barely make out a glimmer of light behind one shuttered window where the Slytherins were.

_All of them were Slytherins…_

"Why didn't you come?" Remus asked, his voice rough. "That was stupid, Amber. You should have listened."

I glared at him, furious. "You aren't my boss! _Or _my father, or my Head of House! I make my own decisions!"

Remus stared down at me coldly. "Maybe you should learn to listen. That was dangerous."

"_You _were the one who wanted to stay!" I half-shouted. Remus hurried me away from the house, even though my _Muffliato _spell had clearly worked, since no one came rushing from the house with their wands brandished.

"Why didn't you come?" Remus repeated angrily. "I can't believe this. I thought only the Marauders knew about the Shack. I thought they'd know better than to use that place. It's supposed to be the most haunted building in Britain, because of me." He swore, his face livid.

"Gee, I don't know." I said waspishly. "Maybe they were desperate for a hideout? Or they're not afraid of ghosts?" I buried my face in my hands, drawing in a ragged breath. "Remus, did you hear anyone else in there? Other than the boys?"

Remus studied my face. "No. I was already out the window. Why?"

I let out a shaky breath, fighting with denial. I didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be true. But I had to tell him.

"I did. It was a woman. Mara Smith was in there with them. And she called herself _The Serpent Princess_? I mean, what's up with _that_?"

"Do you really think she's Folsom's daughter?" Remus asked as we hurried back to the castle. "It couldn't be someone else? Like… well, maybe Lord Voldemort?"

"Don't say that name." I said automatically. "And maybe we should ask Professor Smith herself. She needs to know what her daughter's doing." I swore loudly. "I can't believe this! She can't really be involved with the Dark Arts. She can't. I mean, she's the professor for the Defense Against the Dark Arts! And I've never sensed anything Dark about her."

Remus shook his head as we picked up the pace and began to jog. The castle neared, its glittering windows winking in the darkness. "I don't know. She seems pretty fascinated with the Dark Arts. Maybe she _is. _Maybe she turned and now she's in with that crowd."

"Don't say that." I said stubbornly. "There has to be some kind of mistake."

Remus shook his head again. "What if it's not? What if she's really turned over to the Dark Arts?"

"We have to talk to Professor Smith." I insisted. "Come on. I'll send her an owl. Can I borrow Percival?"

"Of course." Remus said, glancing over his shoulder again. "We'd better hurry. Come on."

By the time we made it up to the Owlery for the second time, we were both out of breath and very tired. The great horned owl swooped down from his perch near the top of the tower and landed lightly on Remus' arm. I scrawled another note out, my breath billowing out in silver clouds of mist in the chilly air.

_Dear Professor Smith,_

_I need to ask you a few questions about Mara. It's urgent. I think she may be in danger._

_Amber Harkstone_

I rolled the small scroll of parchment and tied it with string. I attached the letter to Percival's outstretched leg and watched as the large brown owl flew out of sight.

"What a strange night." Remus remarked as we left the Owlery for the second time.

"You don't have to tell me twice." I said dryly. I couldn't get Madam Cheek out of my mind, or Folsom, or Mara. What was even truth anymore? My brain seemed unable to absorb any more new information.

"I think we should go to bed." Remus said, scratching at his nose. "There isn't much we can do other than wait for your owls."

"Shouldn't we tell Dumbledore?" I asked. "I mean, he should know, of all people."

"I think you'll find him occupied." Remus responded. "He was having a conversation with Madam Cheek, remember? There isn't much more we can do tonight. Let's just rest on this. Besides, we've got a full load of classes tomorrow."

I sighed in resignation. "You're right. Alright. Walk me back to Ravenclaw Tower?"

Remus escorted me to the tall, black iron staircase that wound up to the Ravenclaw Common Room. He gave a wry smile as I bade him goodnight.

"What's that smile for?" I asked defensively.

Remus shook his head. "I just keep thinking… All of this stuff, it always happens to you, doesn't it? Ever since I met you, you've been a danger magnet."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I shrugged and tugged on my braid.

Remus sighed. "I'm sorry, Amber. I know you don't ask for these things to happen."

I thought of Virginia, of my parents, the visions, Folsom, Mulciber, Angelina, Sean, Lily, the Death Eaters. Lord Voldemort. I pursed my lips. "You're right. I don't."

Remus nodded once, acting as if what we had said on the couch hadn't happened at all. "Sleep well, Amber. I'll see you tomorrow."

I watched him go, unspoken words swirling inside of me. But I had too much going on right now to even broach the thought of reconsidering a relationship with him, or Sean. I knew that war was coming, and there was nothing any of us could do to stop it now. It was only a matter of time before Lord Voldemort and his campaign became invasive to everyone in the wizarding world. I shivered in the chill air of the castle. Something much worse than a few bombs in King's Cross and a dead student in the Forbidden Forest was coming.

It was only a matter of time.

* * *

The next day saw more cold weather as fall wound down and winter continued to march forward. The cold gray skies remained overcast and brought a few flurries of snow as the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors made their way down the castle grounds to Professor Kettleburn's 'classroom', located near the Forbidden Forest and a barn-like building that was filled with classroom equipment and a few magical creatures. They included a unicorn with a broken leg, a frostbitten Bowtruckle, and a mother niffler that had just given birth to five babies. There was also a scruffy-looking barn cat with shrewd yellow eyes that stared at students with a rather hungry look in her eyes.

Professor Kettleburn was wearing his bear-skin cape and thick boots. He shuffled along with his wooden leg, a black eyepatch covering half of his scarred face. He spat on the ground as the crowd of students approached, sniffling hard against the cold air.

"Nothing like phlegm to warm you up." He said gruffly as he led the group of students into the warm barn. "All of yer, grab some parchment and quills to write with. Today's lesson will be somewhat of a scavenger hunt."

"Oh, goody." I muttered, already freezing and longing for the warmth of the castle. I still hadn't heard back from either Dad or Professor Smith, and that made me want to hurry into the library and search for answers more than ever. It was getting harder to be patient and wait.

"Quit yer bellyaching, Harkstone, and get to work." Professor Kettleburn snapped as he shuffled out of the barn. A cloud of bats fluttered higher into the rafters, squeaking in fear at the sight and sound of so many students. "I want you all to write down the names of creatures you see around the lake and draw a picture to go with it. Give a three sentence description of the creature. No horsing around, either, Potter."

James gave a shameless laugh as Sirius shoved him playfully.

"You've got one hour to complete the assignment. You should have at least five creatures by the time you're done. You can work of groups. No more than five per group. Get on with it!"

We all set off. Remus and Lily flanked me on either side, but for some reason, I wanted to be alone today. After what I had seen last night in the Shack and after what Madam Cheek had said, I felt contaminated. Dirty. Alone. I didn't want to spread that contamination to my two closest friends.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked not long after we'd left behind the majority of the class for the lake shore, which was rocky and full of pebbles. There was hardly any sand.

"I'm fine." I lied, scanning the water for signs of life. I remembered nearly dying here when a mermaid had attempted to drown me back in my first year. Remus had saved my life.

"I can go work with the guys," Remus offered, picking up on my melancholy mood.

"Well, who am _I _supposed to work with?" Lily protested.

"You could work with Peter." Remus suggested. "I'm sure he'd be over the moon to work with someone like you."

Lily straightened up, shaking out her hair. "I suppose you're right." She gave me a reassuring smile and departed. Remus lingered for a moment, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Are you sure you want to be alone?" He asked. I didn't have to answer. One look told him my feelings. I watched him assimilate with James and Sirius, who were already poking at a bowtruckle. The bowtruckle was holding onto the bark of a beech tree while brandishing needle-sharp claws at them. "_Engorgio._" I heard James say, and the bowtruckle doubled in size.

Rolling my eyes, I wandered farther from the noise of the class and breathed in the biting cold of November air. Closer to the fringe of the Forbidden Forest, I scanned the dark trees for any sign of movement. A fat black crow cawed raucously at me from a nearby tree. I cawed back, imitating the bird. Dad had taken me hunting with him since I was a child, and had taught me how to copy many animal noises. The list included crow, squirrel, fox, coyote, and moose.

The startled crow took flight and disappeared over the canopy of pine trees. I hastily scrawled a picture of it before noticing a dead bluejay on the ground. Its legs were curled up, its eyes frosty and white. The blue feathers were still vibrant and deep; it must have only recently died.

Grimly, I began to sketch the dead bird. Not long after, I felt the peculiar sensation of being watched. Skin prickling, I looked around, but saw only my classmates, a few hundred feet away closer to the lake. No one was paying any attention to me.

A particularly cold gust of wind made me cringe, trying to conserve my warmth. And then I saw him: the pale, shimmering silhouette of Julian Gray, hovering less than ten feet away near a pine tree.

I would have screamed if not for the fact that I was so cold I could hardly make any noise at all. I dropped my parchment and quill. I rubbed my hands together fiercely, trying to warm them. Julian was studying me with that same creepy stare that Folsom had. I swore softly.

"You scared me." I told the ghost irritably. "What do you want?"

Julian blinked. "You haven't been to visit me."

"Well, I don't normally associate with ghosts." I said dryly. "You know, the living usually associate with the living. And the dead, likewise."

Julian's expression didn't change. I shivered, unnerved. "What do you want?" I repeated. "No offense, but I kind of want to be left alone right now. I'm waiting on two important letters."

Folsom's son regarded me with translucent eyes. They were pale and must have been piercing blue during his life. I didn't want to think about that, since Folsom already haunted me. I didn't need his son following in his father's footsteps.

"I've come to warn you." Julian said, his voice faint and wispy. "Beware the boy who is haunted by the moon."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, thank you. Because the last thing I need is _more _drama and problems. Don't you think I have enough on my plate? And why do you say that? Who told you that?" I let out a groan of frustration. "Why me?"

Julian floated above the ground, stationery. "Why are you so melancholy?"

I stared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

Julian's gaze remained fixed upon me. "You are quite gloomy, you know. Not at all like the redheaded girl." There was a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Thanks, I'm glad you shared that with me." I said sarcastically. "Can you please go away now? I'd like to be alone, if you don't mind."

Julian picked at a spot on his chin. "The answers you seek can be found in the Chamber of Secrets. Only two may open it."

I had had enough. First Madam Cheek, now Julian. "Good-bye." I said coldly, turning my back on the ghost. When I turned around a minute later, he was mercifully gone.

"I didn't ask for this." I muttered furiously as I spotted an owl glaring down at me from a tree, its amber eyes glowing in the deep shade of the Forbidden Forest. "I didn't ask for ghosts or visions or drama. I'm just a normal girl who likes reading and Quidditch. That's all. Just reading and Quidditch. None of this weird stuff."

I continued to mutter and swear under my breath when I heard a gruff voice behind me. "If your mother heard you talking like that, I'd bet she'd ground you for a month."

I whirled around, face flaming. Professor Kettleburn was staring beadily at me, scratching at his grizzled beard.

"Sorry, Professor," I said lamely. "I didn't know anyone else was here."

"You make a habit of talking to yourself?" He asked, peering at me closely.

"No." I said defensively. "Sometimes voicing my thoughts helps me sort them out better, that's all. That doesn't make me crazy, does it?"

"I suppose not." Professor Kettleburn said in his deep, rasping voice. His shrewd eyes held me in place. "Why're you so interested in Quidditch, anyway?"

I shrugged. "Because I'm good at it. I don't know. I just enjoy it."

Professor Kettleburn made a grunt of assent. "I've seen how you are with the creatures. You're not afraid of them, and they like you."

"I grew up on a small farm." I told him, spotting a tiny mouse sniffling through the dead leaves at the base of the owl's tree and sketching it quickly. "I've always liked animals."

"Ah." Professor Kettleburn said. "Pity you enjoy flying around in the air on a broomstick playing with balls. I think you'd be better suited as a dragonologist or a magizoologist. Someone who works with magical creatures, you know. Seems more of your calling to me, especially since you hate people so much. I hate people too. Creatures don't talk back. Much better company."

"I don't _hate _people." I said crossly. "I just find creatures better company."

"I suppose." said Professor Kettleburn again, as the owl swooped down upon the mouse. "Well, if you're ever looking for some extra credit, Harkstone, you know where to find me. Watch out for that billwig. It's hovering by your head."

I snapped my head to the side. A small bright blue insect buzzed in midair and let out a whistle-like shriek before zooming away into the sky. Frowning, I looked at Professor Kettleburn, but he was already shuffling away to yell at Sirius and James, who had made their bowtruckle the size of a toddler and were now taking turns playing chicken with it.

The rest of the hour passed in peace and quiet. I finished six sketches and found time to practice braiding my hair before Professor Kettleburn blew his whistle and called us back to the barn. Just before I turned to return to the class, I felt the odd sensation of being watched. I half-turned, frowning into the direction of the Forbidden Forest. Even though it was daylight, the trees were black and gloomy, impervious to the sunshine. I had the distinct feeling that someone or something inside the safety of the trees was keeping their gaze trained on me. I felt like the mouse being watched by the owl, just before it attacked.

"It's nothing." I told myself firmly. "It's nothing." But all the same, I ran back to the class instead of walking.

* * *

After classes had ended for the day, I retreated to the library with Lily and decided to lose myself in my studies for our two-hour free period before dinner. _After all, _I told myself, _I'm only fourteen. All of these problems aren't for me to solve. I'm only a student. The adults will handle them._

I tried to focus on reading the assigned chapters for our homework, but it was challenging when theories kept swimming into my mind. The Serpent Princess. Why would Mara call herself that? Why had she and the Slytherin students been meeting in the Shack of all places, with Folsom? Was Julian really trying to warn me, or was he just lonely and bored after being dead for decades on end? And Madam Cheek had told me I wasn't a Seer. But why did I have the visions that plagued me more than they had before? Could it possibly have to do entirely with the necklace instead of with me? And the book Minnie had given me for my birthday. I still hadn't brought it to any of my teachers who could help me decipher it. Plus, Dad owed me an explanation about the Department of Mysteries. And why he'd hidden his life as a Quidditch star from us. Finally, Professor Smith needed to know exactly what her daughter was into, if she didn't already.

"Amber, are you reading?" Lily asked, breaking me out of my reverie. I blinked. I realized that I hadn't turned a page in my _Standard Book of Spells: Grade Four _in over fifteen minutes.

"Sorry, I was thinking." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. Dinner was in less than half an hour. My stomach rumbled, making it even harder to focus on my homework.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You aren't thinking about Sean or Remus, are you? They're just boys. They aren't worth making yourself sick over."

"No, it's not that." I said quickly. I scrubbed my hands into my hair, aware of how much I needed to brush it. I hastily twisted it into what I hoped was a braid. "I've just got a lot on my mind."

Lily looked concerned. "Anything I need to know?"

Lily already know most, if not all, of what was troubling me. I gave her a small forced smile. "I'm trying not to fix the world. I can't solve adult problems when I'm just a kid."

Lily nodded sagely. "You're only fourteen. Give yourself a break. Your job is to be a good student, not to fight Lord Vol… You-Know-Who."

Even Lily had started to fear the name of the Dark wizard as tensions escalated between him and the rest of the Wizarding World. I wanted to reassure Lily, to let know I was trying to be a better person, but it was very hard to lie to my best friend, when she had the uncanny ability to see right into the heart and truths of people.

"You look tired." She said. "You should head to bed early after dinner. Get some rest. Do you want some mandragora? I think I have some leftover from Potions today. Professor Slughorn gave me a little extra to take home."

I smiled at her shameless smirk. She had the old Potions master wrapped around her finger. "I might take you up on that. Hey, do you mind if we call it quits a little early on studying? I can't focus when I'm this hungry."

"I guess you're right." Lily said, packing up her stack of books. We carried our loads out of the library. Madam Pince watched us with a mixture of approval and suspicion. We made our way into the Great Hall, which was still mostly empty since dinner wasn't due for another twenty minutes.

"I wish we could just send these books back to our dorms." Lily complained, rubbing her back. "They're getting heavier each year."

"I know what you mean." I sympathized, my arms aching. "Hey, Lily. I've been meaning to ask you something for awhile."

Lily's face immediately turned shifty. "What?" She asked, half-grinning. "Do you want me to stop dating Harry? Because that's a definite 'no'."

I laughed. "No, definitely not that. I just wondered… do you think I'm normal? Be honest. I don't want you to sugarcoat or anything. I mean, I want to be normal. But I feel… I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. But I feel different. Not special, you know. Just, different. Like a black unicorn or something."

Lily sighed, shaking her head. "Amber."

"I'm not asking for anything like sympathy." I added. "I just want your honest opinion. Please."

Lily studied me intently. I felt like a bug under a microscope and forced myself to meet her gaze squarely. Like Dumbledore, she made me feel like I had no secrets, that she could see right into my soul.

"You're not _bad _different." Lily said at last. "But you're not normal, I guess. You're not like anyone I've ever met. It's not a bad thing, Amber. Don't look at me that way. Listen, no, _listen._" She said sharply, grabbing my arm as I looked away, feeling dejected and worse than before. "You're a special person, Amber. You're like my sister. No, you _are _my sister. I'm closer to you than I've ever been to Tuny. And you're not afraid to speak your mind. Yes, I wish you'd choose to embrace your feminine side more. And I wish you'd be more honest with yourself and not try and be a martyr. You can be blunt and cold. Hey, don't cry. Please."

I sniffled, overcome by emotions. "I'm sorry." I whispered, dashing them away. "I cry all the time now. Ever since I started coming to school here."

"It's called 'puberty', love, and you'll be fine in a few years." Lily said encouragingly. "You don't have to feel bad about yourself just because your mum refuses to be impressed by you. Or because your dad keeps secrets. You're perfect just the way you are. God made you this way, and that's good enough for me. Even when I want to fix your hair or change your outfit."

I laughed tearfully, embracing her. "I'm sorry, Lily. I don't mean to be such a weepy mess."

"We're fourteen. Life is tough." Lily said solemnly.

"Tell you what." I said hesitantly. "You can give me a full make-over Friday night after classes are done. We can have a girl's night. Does that sound fair?"

Lily sighed. "Amber, don't feel like you need to change. I love you just as you are, alright? Don't listen to me."

"You are a walking contradiction, you." I teased her as we made our way into the Great Hall. We spent the rest of the evening discussing classes, boys, and plans for our future careers.

"...I'm thinking about playing for the Holyhead Harpies." I confided in Lily as we walked upstairs to the Owlery. Neither Soren nor Percival had yet returned a letter, and I wanted to make sure they hadn't already returned to the castle.

"You should!" Lily exclaimed. "You'd be perfect! Are you sure you don't want to try for the Falmouth Falcons? I think Sean would be happy to put a good word in for you. Oh, don't make that face. I was only joking." Lily added as I rolled my eyes.

"I wonder what Hogwarts will look like when you take over Slughorn's position." I mused as we made it to the Owlery. "I'm sure he's got good connections with Dumbledore. You'd be the youngest teacher ever."

"If only." Lily said dreamily as we scanned the hundreds of owls for our two quarries. But they were absent among the sea of owls.

"I wonder why they're taking so long to respond." I muttered. "That's so odd. Dad should have responded right away, and Professor Smith should-"

Just then there was the sound of running feet pounding up the stone steps. A moment later, Miriam Tring, a fellow Ravenclaw, appeared. She was breathless and red-faced.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked, startled.

Miriam gasped for breath. "Amber! Amber, I don't know who did it, but you'd better come quickly!"

I exchanged a look with Lily, who looked equally afraid. "What's the matter?" I asked sharply.

"Follow me." Miriam instructed. Lily followed us down the steps, but I stopped her as we reached the bottom of Ravenclaw Tower.

"Wait here." I told her. "I'll be right back."

Lily nodded, planting her feet, and I rushed up the spiral stairs after Miriam. She was at the knocker, which opened its beak and asked, "You will always find me in the past. I can be created in the present, But the future can never taint me. What am I?"

"Uh…" I said dumbly, as Miriam snapped, "History!"

The door swung open. I plunged in after before I could lament my own slowness. The Common Room was full of people who stared at us as we pelted up another spiral staircase into the fourth year girls' dormitory.

My jaw dropped. One bed was in complete disarray. _My _bed.

The damage extended beyond my bed, which was nestled in the sill of a large window, like the other girls'. My chest was open, the contents flung pell-mell across the floor. Even my clothes had been thrown out and strewn on the floor, along with several textbooks, quills, rolls of parchment, a scrapbook of my memories at Hogwarts, and a now-cracked Sneak-o-scope. I searched through the wreckage, numb.

"Lucy Dunstan told me." Miriam said in a half-scared, half-shocked voice. "I've already told Flitwick. He should be here any second. Is anything missing?"

I pawed through my scattered possessions, my heart sinking into my stomach. "Yeah. Just one thing."

The old book Minnie had given me for my birthday was gone.


	61. Like Mother, Like Daughter

**Well, I'm going to try my best to keep my deadline of finishing book 4 by Christmas. Thanks to everyone who faved, followed, and REVIEWED :) I love reading your thoughts and guesses. You are all amazing! Happy December!**

* * *

Professor Flitwick had performed every Charm he could, but nothing revealed the identity of the thief. After he had helped me clear up the mess and return my possessions to where they needed to be, we filled out a form detailing the loss.

"I'll keep an eye and ear out for your book." Our Head of House squeaked as I handed him the parchment. "I doubt it'll be gone for long, Miss Harkstone. These things have a way of reappearing."

"Thanks." I said glumly. The book hadn't made much sense to me, and I had planned on taking it to a teacher who could possibly read it. Someone like Dumbledore.

I tried to think of who could have gotten past the knocker that guarded the Ravenclaw Tower. We didn't have a password like Gryffindor, but rather, had to solve a riddle that changed frequently. Could a different House have solved the riddle? Surely there must be other students smart enough to solve it.

But my gut told me it was a fellow Ravenclaw who had committed the theft. I no longer felt safe in my own House and stared at each passing Housemate, wondering if they had been the one to steal my great-grandmother's book.

Losing the book made me want my necklace back even more. But I knew I had to be patient and trust Dumbledore. To make matters worse, there was still no owl post by the time I finally finished my homework in the Ravenclaw Common Room and retired to my bed, which had been organized and cleaned up. Glancing suspiciously around the room of sleeping fourth-year girls, I brushed my teeth in the adjoining bathroom and showered under the pounding stream of hot water. I pulled on my pajamas and crept back into the room, which slept the three other fourth-year Ravenclaw girls. The fourth bed, where Angelina had slept, was still vacant. I stared at it, feeling the familiar rise of guilt, like vomit. I went over quietly and touched the sapphire-blue duvet, still perfectly stretched out over the bed from when the house-elves had last changed the linens. Her former bed alone of the four others had no chest, no possessions, no occupant. It was alone, and would remain empty for the rest of the year.

Tears blurred my vision as I trudged back to my own bed. I knew in my heart that her death wasn't truly my fault, but it didn't absolve the fact that it had been my wand, _my _hand, that had ended her life.

I sat on my bed, drawing my knees up to my chest as I listened to the other sleeping girls in the room. Zoey MacDonald, Lucy Dunstan, and Delia Wellbeloved all slept peacefully mere feet from me, but I felt more out of place and alone than ever. _Maybe the Sorting Hat _did _make a mistake when it put me in Ravenclaw. _I wondered dully as I reached over to my nightstand and twirled my wand between my fingers. "_Lumos_." I whispered, the wand tip igniting. I felt restless and wide-awake, not tired at all. What if the thief came back? What if it was one of the girls who shared the space with me?

_Stop scaring yourself. _I told myself firmly. _Close your eyes and get to sleep._

But I couldn't. No matter how many times I rolled over or fluffed my pillows, sleep wouldn't come. I had come to bed past midnight and looked at the small analog clock on my nightstand. It was almost two in the morning.

Exasperated, I got out of bed. I slipped my farm boots onto my feet and pulled a dark blue hooded sweater over my head. I illuminated my path with my wand as I held it out in front of me, snaking down the stairs into the Common Room. I wished now, more than ever, that I was in Gryffindor, not Ravenclaw. How easy would it be for me to simply walk up into the boys' dormitory and wake the other Marauders? Instead, I was stuck here without them, the oddball of the group. _Oh, _why _did I have to be in Ravenclaw? Why couldn't I have been in Gryffindor instead_?

I pulled more books toward me and began reading about the laws of being an Animagus. I was close to completing the process. Another nine months at the most, and I would be a fully-fledged Animagi. Sirius had already accomplished the feat. James was very close to it. Peter and I remained lagging behind.

"Once the witch or wizard completes the process, they must register themselves with the Improper Use of Magic Office so that they cannot abuse their power. Similar to the Patronus charm, each Animagi will become their respective animal upon the finalizing of the process. This takes years, sometimes decades, to achieve."

Irritated, I closed the book and got to my feet. Reading usually lulled me to sleep, but tonight I felt wired. I wanted to move around and get my blood flowing before I cooled back down. I retrieved my Silver Arrow from my bedroom and left the Ravenclaw Common Room. I knew it wasn't safe to be alone outside after dark, especially considering recent events, but I felt confident enough in my abilities to protect myself. Besides, hadn't Professor Smith trained me herself? Wasn't Dumbledore giving me private lessons?

_Well, not really. All we do is talk. He hasn't actually taught me anything like Professor Smith did._

I chose to ignore this fact and made my way down to the Quidditch Pitch, taking one of the many secret passages I'd discovered with the boys out to the empty fields. The weather was clear and cold, the stars twinkling in the navy-blue sky. The moon was nearly full, just a day or two away from the peak of its cycle. It shone brightly and gave a full silvery-illumination to the Quidditch Pitch. I floated off of the ground and circled the pitch a few times, relishing the feeling of icy wind blowing through my hair and across my exposed face. I drew my wand and held onto the broom shaft one-handed as I said, "_Accio Quaffle!" _and a saggy Quaffle shot towards me from the ground. It had been beaten so savagely by a Bludger that it was no longer fit for use in a real match, but it was commonly used for practice and always left behind on the ground. I tossed the half-deflated Quaffle through one side of the hoops a few times, zooming around to catch it each time. I hadn't dropped it once when I heard, "Oi, you should really think about playing professionally after Hogwarts."

My heart plummeted as I wheeled around. Hovering on a jet-black Moontrimmer was Mara Smith. She was fifteen feet away, half-leaning towards her, her dark eyes glittering like the stars. Her expression was almost predatory, like a tiger watching a deer before it pounced.

I lifted my chin a notch, facing my teacher almost defiantly. "Maybe. I haven't decided what I'll do after I finish school. Have you?"

Mara's eyes flickered. She straightened, shaking back her long dark brown hair. "Let's just say I want to keep my options open."

My heart began to pound. I didn't want to think that she would harm me, but then again, hadn't Folsom been the same way?

"Is there something on your mind?" Mara asked as she slowly circled me, barely moving as her broomstick moved as if it was an extension of her. "You look like you're expecting me to hex you."

"I'm not." I said quickly.

Mara frowned. "You're a bad liar. You've got to have a better poker face than that."

I swallowed hard, wishing my palms weren't sweaty, wishing my heart wasn't pounding frantically inside of my ribcage. I did expect her to attack, to do something malicious, but I didn't know what I would do if she did. Could I take on Professor Smith's daughter? Folsom's possible child? Or even Voldemort's?

"Can I ask you a personal question?" I asked before I could stop myself.

Mara rolled her eyes. "Let me guess: you want to know who my father is?"

Mouth dry, I nodded. "Yes."

Mara shrugged. "I don't really know, to be honest with you. There's a few candidates, though."

"Who?" I pressed. Mara raised a brow.

"I know it's not really my business." I told her, half-apologetically. "I just thought, well, you know… I thought that maybe it could be someone I know. I'm sorry. I'm just curious, I guess."

Mara smiled wryly. "You're certainly a Ravenclaw. Have you ever heard the expression, 'curiosity killed the cat'?"

I knew the blood had drained from my face, because Mara shook her head. "I'm only joking, Amber. I'm not going to hurt you."

_Aren't you? _I wanted to say, but I managed to keep silent.

Mara studied me for a moment. "Toss me the Quaffle. Let's play pass."

I obeyed. She caught it deftly, throwing it back with apparent ease. "My mother had me when she was twenty-six years old. Her sister Rose married my uncle Ryan, and they had my cousin Sean when I was eight. My mother's brother Rowan was killed by a vampire when I was a child. My grandparents are all dead. I never knew any of them."

"And your father?" I prompted.

Mara gave a droll smile. "Like I said. I don't know who he is. There's three candidates, and Mum's never told me who the real one is. Then again, maybe _she _doesn't know."

I gaped at her. "_Three?"_

Mara chuckled. "Yeah, I know. I guess Mum was quite the dish when she was my age. Why don't _you _ask her?"

_Because she's not the one calling herself the 'Serpent Princess'. _I thought darkly.

"You know," Mara said casually, catching my toss deftly, "it's really not safe for you to be outside school after curfew."

"I couldn't sleep." I told her honestly. "What's your excuse?"

Her dark eyes - black in the night - pierced me. "Keeping an eye on students. It's my job."

"I see." I said coolly. I could feel my wand in my belt loop, ready for useage if I needed it. "I have a question for you."

"Shoot." Mara said.

I caught the Quaffle she threw at me and then said, "Can you show me your left arm?"

Mara stared at me. "I beg your pardon?"

I looked at her innocently. "Your left arm. Can I see it?"

Professor Smith's daughter pursed her lips, unspoken thoughts moving in shadows across her face as she hovered on her Moontrimmer. "You ask a lot of personal questions, Amber." She said at last.

I met her gaze squarely. "I'm a Ravenclaw. It's just my nature."

Mara gave a tight smile. "You should get to bed. Next time you sneak out, make sure you don't do it alone. It's not safe out here."

I flew back to the ground and dismounted from the Silver Arrow. Mara remained airborne. I could feel her gaze trained on me, like the owl just before it had swooped down upon the mouse. Unnerved, I reached for my wand, wanting to know I was armed.

"You don't trust me anymore, do you?" She asked casually from above.

I half-turned, grimacing. "Do you want me to be honest, or polite?"

Mara gave a small laugh. "Does it matter?"

I shrugged. "I know your mother was a Death Eater. I guess I don't know if that's something else she passed onto you."

Mara's expression was enigmatic. "Good night, Amber."

I began to walk across the pitch, the frosty grass crunching beneath my feet. Then she spoke again, in a slightly more friendly tone.

"Oh, and Amber? Tomorrow, we'll be doing a practical lesson. Make sure you're prepared."

I regarded her intently, lifting my chin a notch to show I wasn't afraid of her. _I know your secret, Mara. _ I thought defiantly. _I know you've been meeting with Folsom. I'm not sure who's side you're on, but you can be sure, I'm going to find out._

But all I said was, "Thank you, Professor. Good night."

"Good night, Amber. Nice canon arm, by the way."

* * *

I was running through a black forest again. Panting, I ran through tangles of brambles and Devil's club, the thorns tearing at my robes. Bright moonlight streamed down just ahead, and I plunged past the deep undergrowth into a small clearing. A ring of small gray stones encircled the glade. Before I could catch my breath, there was a terrible drawn-out scream. A girl. I whirled around, gripping my wand, but it wasn't in my belt loop. I was unarmed.

A figure stumbled into the clearing. It was Angelina. Her robes were torn, her long hair tangled with dead leaves and twigs. She was covered in blood. Her gray eyes pierced me, and I wanted to run away from the guilt that surged through me like an electric current.

"You'll pay." She whispered, as a wolf's howl pierced the night air. "You'll reap what you sow. You'll pay."

Tears slipped down my cheeks. "I didn't mean to kill you. It wasn't my fault. Mulciber made me do it."

Angelina shook her head slowly, and she gave a small, wicked smile. Her eyes gleamed scarlet. "You'll pay."

Then she changed into a tall, pale figure with blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. Before I could turn and run, Folsom leapt at me, arms outstretched, fangs bared.

"Amber! _Amber! _AMBER!"

I shot upright, gasping as if I had been underwater. My head was pounding, my heart racing. I grabbed at my face, my arms, my torso. I was in a bed. My bed. I wasn't in the Forest.

I was safe.

"Are you alright?" A familiar voice asked. Trembling, I stared at Lucy Dunstan, one of the other Ravenclaw fourth-years. She had made the Ravenclaw Team as Seeker.

"F-fine." I lied, tremors shaking my body. I pushed my hair back, drenched in sweat. "What's wrong? Why did you wake me up?"

Lucy was looking at me like I was crazy. _Well, maybe I am. _I thought dully, wondering how disheveled I looked.

"Well, it's almost noon." She said meekly. "Professor McGonagall wanted to know why you weren't in Transfiguration."

I moaned. No wonder the sunlight was so strong. "It's almost noon?"

Lucy nodded. "It's eleven-forty. Lunch is about to start."

Cursing, I jumped out of bed and promptly collapsed. My legs were too shaky to hold my body weight.

"Amber!" Lucy exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I told her, shaking my head, which felt light and airy, like a balloon. "Just a nightmare. I was up late last night studying." I hadn't come to bed until almost five in the morning, which was why I'd slept so late.

"Well, I can go get Madam Pomfrey." Lucy offered.

"No." I muttered. "No more hospital wing. Just… go. I'll be fine. Thanks for waking me up." I added sincerely. The nightmare had been horrendous enough. I was grateful to have been woken before I had seen the end.

"Are you sure?" Lucy asked uncertainly. "I can go get help."

"No, really. I'm fine. Just go. I'll see you in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Lucy cast me another uncertain look, but didn't argue. I knew I probably looked frightful enough to scare her away. She left the dormitory.

I staggered into the bathroom. I took one look in the mirror and sighed in despair. I looked much worse than usual. My eyes were puffy and had deep purple shadows beneath them. They were crusty, as if I had been crying in my sleep. My hair was so wild and tangled that I looked like I'd just emerged from the depths of a forgotten jungle somewhere deep in South America. My skin was grayish-white, like Folsom's. I looked dead.

Like Angelina.

I splashed cold water on my face, brushing my teeth to chase away the rotten taste that always came in the morning after a nightmare. I showered, desperately trying to tame my hair, but I didn't have Lily's skill or knowledge of hair care and settled on towel-drying and wrangling the damp locks into a loose braid. At least, I thought it was a braid. It looked like a small animal or bird had tried to build a nest from my hair and given up halfway through the project.

Resigned, I changed into my uniform and hurried down the spiral stairs to Mara's classroom. Lunch was nearly over, and I had no appetite at all. I reached for my necklace out of habit, but it wasn't there. I pinched my neck lightly instead, nervous. I had been under the impression that my necklace had everything to do with my visions and nightmares. But maybe it only applied to the former.

There were a handful of students already inside of the classroom. Mara was by far the most popular teacher at Hogwarts, mostly due to her fame as a Montrose Magpie, but also because of her age and enthusiastic personality. I felt myself bristling at the sight of her today, however, as I took a seat at the very back of the classroom. I usually sat in the front row so I wouldn't be distracted by others, but I no longer wanted to be near her. Not when I wasn't sure where her loyalties lay.

"Hey!" Lily said as she dropped into the seat next to me. "Merlin's beard! What happened to you?"

"I'd like to know that as well." Remus said, taking the other seat so that he sat on my other side. "You look awful."

"Thanks for that confidence-booster." I said dryly. "I had a nightmare."

"Another one?" Lily asked. "But your necklace… it's not here."

"I know." I said, pushing my face into my hands. "I don't know."

"Are you alright?" Remus asked quietly. "You look sick."

"I'm not. I'm just tired." I dropped my voice and filled them in on my sleepless night and my unexpected Quidditch game with Mara in the wee hours of the morning. Lily looked sternly disapproving; Remus looked interested.

"She wouldn't show you her arm?" He asked. "Maybe she's hiding something. Like the Dark Mark."

"Mulciber had one." I said, remembering the clearing when he had made me kill Angelina. I shut my eyes against the memory of the nightmare and her chilling words. "I think all of You-Know-Who's followers have them. His inner circle."

"You can't be serious." Lily said in complete disbelief. "Mara? A Death Eater? Her mother would never allow it."

"I'm still waiting on my owl." I told her darkly. "I need to tell her what's going on. Maybe she'll be able to explain or clear some questions up."

"And what did you do to your hair?" Lily asked in exasperation.

"I tried to make a braid." I told her bravely. "What'd you think?"

Lily shook her head. "Do I have to answer?"

I waved my hand at her irritably. "Just fix it. Please."

Lily worked quickly. Remus had a faraway look in his eyes, an expression he always wore when he was in deep thought. "I've just thought of something." He said after a minute of silence.

"What's that?" I asked as Lily tugged at my unruly hair.

"You haven't heard back from Professor Smith or your dad." Remus said. "Soren's never late, is he? And Percival is always quick with my post. This isn't right. How'd she know to tail you on the Quidditch pitch? Maybe she intercepted your mail. Maybe Professor Smith and your dad never got your post."

I went cold at the thought. "You think she hurt our owls?" I said in an icy voice.

"I don't think so." Remus said. "But maybe she used a spell on them to make them forget they were supposed to bring us mail. For all we know, they're back in the Owlery. We can check after class."

My hands trembled. "You think she intercepted our mail?"

"It makes sense." Remus said. "Amber, we need to be very careful. It's one thing if she's a spy for Dumbledore. It's a completely different thing if it's the other way around."

"I'm all done with your hair." Lily said quietly, looking grim. I touched the now-soft locks, the loose French braid she had twisted the tresses into. "Thanks, Lily." I said quietly.

"When's your next meeting with Dumbledore?" Remus asked.

"I don't know." I told him. "I haven't had any invitations lately."

"You need to tell him this, the next time you see him." Remus insisted. "This is really important, Amber."

"I hate this." Lily said suddenly, her green eyes filled with confusion and pain. "I hate not knowing who we can and can't trust. I feel like anyone could be on Lord Vol… You-Know-Who's side. Just look at what happened with you and Angelina, Amber."

"Lily." I said warningly, the nightmare still fresh. "Don't. Please."

Her eyes were filled with tears. "What if Sev…" She trailed off, hunching her shoulders, staring down at her desk. I didn't have the heart to tell her about his loyalties, not yet. I would wait until after class to break the news to her that he was still running around with the Slytherins, the known-supporters of the Dark Lord. I settled for putting an arm around her shoulder instead.

"Good afternoon, class." Mara called cheerfully from the front of the class. Today she was wearing robes of maroon with gold trimming; she looked like a princess or a young queen. She wore a simple pendant on a golden chain, the jewels winking in the sunlight streaming in from the open windows.

"Today, we'll be doing a practical lesson." She said, smiling mischievously as she waved her wand. The shutters slammed shut on the windows, throwing us into near total darkness. The candles flared to life. I pushed slightly closer to Remus, wondering what she had in mind.

"Everyone, up." Mara said sharply, clapping her hands. "Today, you'll be facing your worst nightmares. Books out, wands away. Hurry!"

Startled by the abrupt change in tone, the students jumped up and scrambled to their feet, looking extremely nervous. I hung closer to Remus, my heart pounding. What was she playing at?

"Amber?" Lily asked quietly. "What's going on?"

"Just wait." I said in a low voice. "Wand out."

"Now that everyone's awake," Mara said slyly, "please get in a single file line. James, Sirius, you're up first."

"I'll go." Sirius said bravely, puffing out his chest. "Get back, Prongs."

"I'll miss you, bud," James said, laughing. "It was nice knowing you."

Mara giggled and pointed her wand at a rectangular black bag sitting in the front of the room. It rattled slightly.

"Can anyone tell me what that is?" Mara prompted. "Anyone?"

"A really ugly bag?" Sirius asked, and James roared with laughter.

"Very funny. No, not what you think you see. What else? Any takers? How about you, Peter?"

Peter squeaked, "M-me?"

"Yes, you. Take a wild guess."

"Uh…" Peter stammered. "I think it's a… a…"

"It's a boggart." I said loudly. Several students turned to look at me. Mara's face flickered. "Yes, good, Amber. But next time, let someone else try the question, alright? We already know you know all the answers."

Her tone was still pleasant, but I detected the sourness behind the sweetness. Several students sniggered, including Sirius and James, but Lily and Remus looked indignant. I felt heat rise into my cheeks. Mara blinked innocently and turned back to the class.

"Yes, Amber's right. Inside of this suitcase is a boggart. I know my mother taught you about them last year, but I feel like it's a good refresher as we work our way into the next section of the lesson. Boggarts can live virtually anywhere in the world, but they like dark, enclosed, quiet spaces. Attics, wardrobes, cupboards, storage units, and the like. This one decided it wanted to live in my briefcase, but before I rehome it, I wanted to give you a chance to practice your skills against a Dark creature. I assume you all know the incantation and theory for countering a boggart?"

"It's the _Riddikulus _charm," Lily said. "You have to make the boggart turn into something you find funny. Boggarts want to scare you, but if you laugh at it, it'll confuse it, and you'll get the upper hand."

"Well said, Lily, take ten points for Gryffindor." Mara said, and I realized she hadn't given me points for correctly answering her question. I bit my lip to keep from voicing my displeasure.

"Everyone, think of your worst fear. And now, think of something that'll make it funny. Okay, ready? Alright, Sirius, you're up first."

The class seemed startled to be asked to perform so soon, but Mara had already said, "_Alohomora!" _and the suitcase snapped open.

The students had fanned out into a half-circle line so that the boggart could be clearly visible. Four people lay motionless and bloodied at the front of the room. With a shock, I recognized myself lying spread-eagled on our backs, along with Remus, Peter, and James. We were all dead.

"_Riddikulus!" _Sirius cried, and the four bodies changed into four golden retriever puppies, squealing and adorable. Every girl in the class, including myself, 'ooh-ed' and 'ahh-ed'.

"Excellent!" Mara shouted. "James, next!"

James ran to take Sirius' place. _Crack! _The puppies vanished, replaced instead by a gigantic acid-green snake. The diamond pattern of its skin rippled as the snake coiled and drew back its ugly head, its forked tongue flicking out. James had turned ash-white, his eyes huge behind his glasses. I stared at him, stunned. In four years, I had never known James' biggest fear was snakes.

"Come on, James!" Mara said loudly. "Take it down!"

"_Riddikulus!" _James choked out, and the snake changed into a long white balloon, which popped and zoomed around the room, making a very rude noise. The room filled with laughter.

"Excellent! Peter, go!"

But Peter was frozen to the floor. He shook his head frantically. "I'm not ready!" He squeaked with terror.

"Alright, Peter, hop to the back of the line. Next!"

Lucy Dunstan stepped up. _Crack! _A loud buzzing filled the rom as a swarm of angry-sounding wasps convulsed in a cloud of yellow-and-black.

"_Riddikulus!" _shouted Lucy, and the wasps dropped to the floor, turned into Skittles.

"Great job! Next!"

_Crack! _A shuffling zombie tried to sing. _Crack! _A skeleton was decorated with flowers and sunglasses. _Crack! _A spider the size of a dinner plate began to tap-dance.

The line moved quickly. Remus was next.

_Crack! _A white orb hung in the air, yellow-gray and perfectly round. Remus' hand shook on his wand as he said, "_Riddikulus!" _

The full moon turned into a white balloon and copied what James' had done and shot around the room noisily. Lily stepped in front of me.

_Crack! _A huge, hooded figure, twelve-feet tall and cold as winter, with horrible, guttering gasps of breath that sounded like the creature was sucking on the air. Dead, rotted hands. A horrible, clammy feeling swept over me as Lily shouted, "_Expecto Patronum!" _and a silver doe burst from her wand, catching the dementor with its head and making it stumble on its long trailing robe.

My head was fuzzy again as I watched Lily, half-dazed. Only Peter was behind me now. It was just us two. Blackness hedged at my vision, and I struggled to focus. How had Lily known how to use the Patronus Charm on a boggart that turned into a dementor? How come Peter was behind me? How was it already my turn?

I felt sluggish and dazed as I faced the boggart. The dementor changed shape with a sharp _crack! _

Four figures stood in front of me. Angelina, Folsom, Professor Salvatore Slytherin, and Virginia. All of them stared at me with varying degrees of hatred and blame.

"Murderer." Angelina spat.

"Doomed." Folsom hissed.

"Thief." Professor Slytherin breathed.

"Alone." Virginia whispered.

I stared at each of them in turn, trembling violently. It was as if we were alone and the rest of the class was absent. "What?" I choked.

"The charm, Amber!" Remus shouted, his voice sounding far away. "You can beat this! Come on!"

I blinked, my palms slick with sweat, but my mind was moving sluggishly, like time had slowed down. "_Ri… riddikulus!"_

The charm failed. Now, each of the four advanced on me, hands outstretched in cruel accusation. "_Murderer. Doomed. Thief. Alone._"

"No!" I half-screamed. "NO!"

Someone jumped in front of me. The four figures vanished and there was a loud _crack! _

A tall man with pale skin stood before us now. His face was waxen and burned, his eyes bloodshot and scarlet. It was a terrible face, barely human and mostly monster. He wore a billowing black cloak, his pitiless eyes trained not on me, but on the boy beside me. He was oddly snakelike.

"_Riddikulus!" _The boy beside me squeaked, and the horrible man was replaced by a tiny black garter snake, innocently flicking its tongue out at us.

"Excellent Peter!" Mara shouted happily. "Excellent, excellent! Very well done, class!" She opened the suitcase and placed the tiny snake inside, not looking at it all the while. "I'm very impressed with everyone today. I think we can end class now, since you've all done so well. Have a great rest of your day, everyone! Oh, Amber, can you please wait a minute? I'd like a word."

I stood, rooted to the spot, shaken. I had expected to see something else, something like a dementor, or maybe a rabid wolf. Not once had it crossed my mind what my worst fear was. Nor had I ever thought it would materialize like that in front of me. Or that I would be unable to defeat it…

"Hey." Remus said, shaking me gently. "You alright? Come on. Snap out of it. Let's get you some chocolate."

I blinked, trying to regain my composure. My gaze found Peter, who looked breathless. "You did great, Peter."

Peter blushed. "I have a good tutor."

I patted his shoulder awkwardly. "Who _was_ that, Peter?"

Peter paled. "Lord… Lord…" He swallowed hard. "You-Know-Who."

James and Sirius appeared, looking smug. "Looks like we finally beat you at something, Lionheart." Sirius said jovially.

"Shut up." Lily said hotly. "Can't you see she's upset?"

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here." I muttered, trying to shake off the sense of horror that now clung to me like cigarette smoke. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Remus said seriously, his gaze penetrating me. "Come on. Let's get you some tea and chocolate."

I shook him off furiously, my raw nerves grated by the sounds of laughter and loud gloating. "I said _no! _I'm fine, Remus! This is _my _problem, alright? Everyone else fought off their boggart, but not me! I failed! If this had been a real boggart, what do you think would have happened? I probably would have gone insane if someone didn't step in!"  
"Woah, easy, Amber," James said, raising his hands, palms-up. "Come on, let's just go-"

I jerked away from the group, feeling more alone than ever. Virginia had been right. I _was _alone. No one else had nightmares or visions. No one else had killed someone. No one else was hunted by a sadistic vampire or haunted by a long-dead professor. No one else had lost their little sister. No one else had to fight the same battles as I did. None of them understood. I was alone.

"Amber," Lily said, approaching me, "please."

I shook my head hard, throwing my books back into my bag. "_No, _Lily. I need to be alone. That's what I am, isn't it? I'm alone. I'm not like the rest of you. I'm _different. _I'm not one of you. I'm all alone, and I can't pretend anymore that I'm normal or fine anymore! Okay? I'm done pretending. Just leave me alone!"

"Amber!" Lily called as I dashed out of the classroom. "_Amber!"_

I hurried past other students, desperate to get away from that room, away from my worst fears, away from Mara and my questions and theories. For the first time, I wished I had never come to Hogwarts. I craved the old days of simple childhood, when my biggest problems had been jealousy over Virginia receiving more attention from my mother than I did.

I found the secret passage behind the humped witch on the third floor. "_Dissendium!" _I choked out. The trapdoor opened, and I hurried through it. I ran all the way to the cellar in Honeydukes, desperate to leave behind my troubles and trials.

I pushed my way through the cellar trapdoor. Thankfully, no one was in the basement of the candy shop, and I was able to sneak up through the store unnoticed. The village of Hogsmeade was mostly empty, since it wasn't a weekend and the students were back in class. I looked down at my school uniform and pulled my hooded travel cloak over my head, hiding my appearance from passersby. I made a beeline for The Three Broomsticks, but realized that if anyone recognized me, it would most likely happen in the popular pub. Instead, I made my way into the other pub in the village, The Hog's Head Inn. The chipped sign swung in the November breeze, displaying the gruesome image of a severed pig's head on a bloodstained cloth. I pushed open the heavy door and let it slam shut behind me.

I wrinkled my nose as unpleasant odor of cigar smoke, body odor, and (strangely enough) goat filled my nostrils. I chose a booth in the back of the small pub. There were only two other customers in the bar. One was a very large man in a tattered black cloak, reminding me so forcefully of the dementor that I drew my wand. His mangled and matted hair stuck out in every direction, and he was big enough to pass as Hagrid's little brother. He sat hunched over at the bar beside a guttering candle stub, drinking from a large tankard. Another figure, leaner and willowy, sat across the pub, wearing a black hooded cloak like mine. His face was concealed so that I couldn't see it.

Trembling hard, I exhaled, focusing on regulating my breathing. It felt cathartic just to get away from my friends, and the castle. I felt like I could relax here and be myself. Other shady characters frequented the pub, so why not me?

I took out my textbook for _The Essential Defense Against the Dark Arts _and began reading through chapter eight. I had done the work already but wanted to distract myself from the troubling reality I was now mired in. I felt myself loosening up as I immersed myself in the words of the book, the tension flowing away.

A large silver-haired man with a scraggly long beard cleared his throat loudly. I flinched, startled.

The man had piercing blue eyes, vaguely familiar. His face was set in hard lines etched by years of grief or hard work. "What do you want?" He demanded in a sour voice.

I blinked up at him. "I'm sorry?"

"What. Do. You. _Want._" The bartender growled. "You can't occupy customer space without paying for something. You'll cost me profit."

I looked around the almost-vacant pub. No one was there other than the two shady figures occupying the other parts of the inn. I grimaced. "Alright… I guess I'll have a butterbeer."

The bartender snorted. "You _guess._" He returned a moment later with a grimy bottle of butterbeer that looked older than me. "Two sickles."

I paid him three. He eyed me coldly.

"A tip?" I said uncertainly. "Do you not want it?"

The bartender rolled his eyes and trudged back to his space behind the counter. He refilled the huge man's tankard with what looked like ale.

Grimacing, I pointed my wand at the bottle and said, "_Scourgify." _The dust vanished, leaving the glass bottle looking clean and new.

I unscrewed the top while the smaller hooded figure made his way over to my table. I glared at the newcomer as he sat down across from me in the wooden booth. "Excuse me." I said tartly. "I don't really want company right now, thanks."

The hooded figure removed the covering. At first I thought it was Mara. But then I saw the cruel scar cutting down half of her face, and I realized it was her mother, Professor Smith. A wave of powerful relief swept over me.

"Professor!" I whispered excitedly. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you! I have to talk to you."

Professor Smith gave a small, tight smile. "I need to speak with you as well, Amber."

Something about the way she spoke made me uneasy. "Professor, are you… are you upset with me?"

Professor Smith gave me a level stare through her bright green eyes. Her scar was more noticeable than ever, garishly contrasting against her otherwise flawless skin. "I wouldn't put it that way, dear. But it's time you and I had words."

I swallowed hard, putting away my textbook, feeling the first stirrings of dread. I knew a lecture when I saw one. I braced myself, clearing my throat. "About?"

Professor Smith crossed her arms, laying them down on the black table separating us. "First, I'd like to remind you that though I am not your mother, I do know quite a deal more than Lena does. And though I appreciate that she is your mother, I do not believe she is able to make decisions that favor the best outcomes for you. I'll ask you to listen to me with the same authority as you'd honor for her instructions."

I blinked, unused to this strict, formal attitude. I recognized it and knew that she was in Auror-mode, no longer my friend or teacher, but rather, a Dark-wizard catcher, and former-Death Eater. "Alright. But will you allow me to have my say as well?"

She dipped her head once in agreement. "Very well. Perhaps you'd like to speak first."

Feeling strangely shameful, I flattened my palms on the table, gripping the edge of the surface with one head to steady myself. "Well, first…" I glanced around, dropping my voice to almost a whisper. "You need to know that I saw Mara speaking with a group of Slytherins who I _know _are You-Know-Who's supporters. The ones I told you about last year. Avery, Nott, Regulus Black, and Severus Snape." I didn't want to name Severus, since he was still Lily's dearest friend, but I couldn't hold back to spare her feelings anymore. He was involving himself in very real dangers, and Professor Smith needed to know about it. "Folsom was speaking to them from the fireplace through Floo. Also… I'm so sorry, Professor. But Mara was there too. And I think… I think she might be on the Dark side."

Professor Smith's expression didn't change. It remained enigmatic. "Anything else?"

I blinked. I was certain she would have been more upset. She would have done something, anything, rather than act like I hadn't spoken at all. Let alone tell her that her only child was almost certainly a Death Eater. "Professor, did you understand what I-"

"Yes, I am quite capable in my abilities of comprehension." Professor Smith said coolly. "In fact, I daresay I'm more capable than many others in my abilities of understanding. Is there anything else you wished to tell me?"

I stared at her. It was like it wasn't even my teacher anymore. "Yes." I said, my voice tense and icy.

She raised a thin brow. I scowled and said, "someone stole my great-grandmother's book from my room. I couldn't fight off a boggart in class today, which is why I'm here. Also, I just found out my dead sister was a Seer and that I might already be married, according to Madam Cheek." I couldn't keep the sarcasm from my words. "Oh, and I've been having nightmares again. That about cover it?"

Professor Smith's face remained impassive. I rolled my eyes. "Great. Now _you're _against me, too."

"Sit down, Amber." Professor Smith said calmly, as I had started to rise, intending to leave. "We aren't done talking."

"Well, _I _am." I said hotly. "Good-bye, Professor Smith. I'll see you at the next Quidditch match, I guess."

Professor Smith didn't move, but I felt frozen in place, as if I had been Stunned. My gaze connected with hers, and I knew that somehow, she had made me immobile.

"You don't have to talk anymore." She said coolly. "But you _will _listen to what I have to say. Take a seat."

I looked over at the bartender and his only customer, but neither seemed to be aware of our discussion. "Don't worry about them." She said indifferently. "I've used a spell that gives us a soundproof space. They have no idea what we're talking about. Nor do they care."

Still fuming, I threw myself back into the hard, cushionless seat, glowering across the table at Professor Smith. I crossed my arms. "Go on."

She shook her head slightly, a sardonic smile on her lips. "I remember when Mara was your age. Rest assured, Amber, I respect your feelings and your belief that only you know how the world works and only _your _feelings matter. But maybe when I'm done speaking to you, you'll understand more of what's going on."

"I doubt that." I said sourly.

Professor Smith wasn't fazed. "Alright. First, I'll be blunt with you: I know you're well on your way to becoming an Animagus. You, Potter, Black, and Pettigrew. For whatever reason, Miss Evans isn't in the same plot.

"In addition, I also know about your nightmares and visions. Professor Dumbledore has kept me in correspondence about your struggles in order that I might be able to help you better understand what it means. I must also tell you that you are not a Seer, nor is your father at liberty to speak to you of his work in the Department of Mysteries. He is bound under magical obligation and contract, and it would be unwise for you to ask him again.

"Thirdly, I must ask you to remember that you are only fourteen years old. Wizards older and cleverer than you are in charge and are the ones responsible for maintaining order in our world and protecting the balance between our lives and the Muggles. Your job is not to solve your visions or to defeat Dark wizards. Your only job right now is to be a good student and graduate Hogwarts with the best education you can.

"Fourthly, it is not your place to investigate into the lives of others. It is not only dangerous, but also counterproductive to different objectives and missions within the Ministry and within the Order. Mara is as much of a foe as I am. You are safe when you are within Hogwarts. You not only have the Headmaster looking out for your well-being, but mine as well.

"Lastly, I must ask you to not go looking for trouble, even if it's in the name of finding answers. They will come to you in the right timing. While you do so, you put not only yourself at risk, but also your friends. I know being young is challenging, and I can't imagine what your circumstances have put you through. You've lost your sister. You're torn between two boys. You have visions and nightmares and all the while, you're trying to be a diligent student and Quidditch player. And you're attempting to become an Animagus. I'd say you've bitten off more than you can chew. So, in essence, Amber, I want you to know that you're 'off the hook'. It's not your job to solve our world's problems. It's your job to be a student and friend. Leave the other stuff to the adults."

I gaped at her, stunned. Words failed me. I wanted to scream at her, to shout, and another part of me wanted to shrivel up and die. But all I could do was stare at her, my mouth hanging open.

Professor Smith smiled this time, patting my hands. "It's not easy growing up, dear. I was your age once, too. Just let it go for now, alright?"

"Professor Smith," I finally managed, my throat tight with the tears I held back, "can you tell me… _why _you just told me all of this?"

She sighed. "I suppose it's because I'm worried about you. Mara was the one who urged me to speak to you. She rather felt you would listen to me better than anyone else. Maybe that's something else you should work on."

I swallowed back the bitter tears and forced myself to meet her gaze. "So, that's it? I'm 'off the hook'?"

"That's right." Professor Smith said simply. "Stop fighting a battle you were never supposed to be in."

"Professor," I asked desperately, "I don't… I _want _to fight. I want to know why things have happened the way they have. It's not good enough for me to just sit back and wait."

"Aye, but unfortunately, that's what you need to do right now." She said sadly. "When you're older, you can join the Order."

"The Order?" I echoed.

Professor Smith nodded. "The Order of the Phoenix. I'll tell you more about it when you're older. You come of age in three years."

I scowled. "But that's so far away."

Professor Smith looked sadder than ever, wistful and nostalgic. "It'll go much faster than you think." She warned me. "Enjoy the time you are given, Amber. I promise, when the time comes, you'll have your chance to fight your battle. But now is not that time. Put your weapons down to fight when you're ready. Agreed?"

I looked into the depths of the leaf-green eyes, the face that had been slashed. "Can I ask one question?"

Professor Smith sighed. "I suppose."

"Who is Mara's father?"

Professor Smith shook her head. "It's not the right time for the answer to that one, dear."

"Fine. How'd you get that scar?" I asked bluntly.

She pursed her lips, her face shadowed. "This scar was bestowed upon me during a duel I fought in four years ago. A curse intended to kill me was stopped by a Dark wizard, but it left me permanently scarred."

"Who did you duel?" I asked.

Professor Smith raised her brows. "Technically, that's two questions. But the one who I duelled was Sirius Black's cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange."


	62. Muggle Quidditch

"Bellatrix Lestrange?" I echoed. "Sirius' cousin?" For a moment, I remembered being inside of his house at 12 Grimmauld Place, the huge fabric family tree with the sprawling branches and golden leaves. Faintly, I recalled the face of the young woman, with heavy-lidded eyes and wild black hair.

"Yes. She's his mother's niece. She has two sisters, Andromeda and Narcissa."

"I remember Narcissa." I said darkly. "She was Lucius Malfoy's girlfriend when I was a first year. I don't remember Andromeda, though."

"She graduated last year from Slytherin. Narcissa graduated when you were a second year. Bellatrix was always more… _daring _than her sisters."

I sat, waiting for her to go on.

Professor Smith sighed. "Bellatrix went to school with Mara. She was in the same year as her, both Slytherins. Both girls expressed an interest in the Dark Arts, but my daughter chose a very different path than Bellatrix. You see, Bellatrix is one of the few people I can confirm who is a Death Eater."

"Like Folsom." I said eagerly.

Professor Smith raised her brows. "Like I used to be. Remember, Amber, you're not supposed to get involved in this."

"But, Professor," I implored, "I'm _already _involved. I know you don't want me to get deeper into this, but I want to know. I want to help."

"I know, Amber, and I promise you: you'll have your time to fight. But this isn't the time. To answer your question, I intervened between a fight between Mara and Bellatrix. Bellatrix and I fought, and she nearly won."

My jaw dropped. "_She _almost won? But, Professor, you're one of the strongest witches I know. You're second only to Dumbledore!"

Professor Smith smiled sadly. "I appreciate your praise, Amber, but Bellatrix doesn't play by the rules. She breaks them. She ignores them completely. Near the end of our duel, she attempted to curse Mara with the Killing Curse. She was standing nearby, you see. She wouldn't leave me alone, even though I'd asked to leave in case Bellatrix tried to hurt her, just like she ended up doing. I jumped in the way to take the spell, but someone stopped the curse. Someone jumped in front of _me_."

"Who?" I asked breathlessly.

Professor Smith looked down at the table top. "Folsom."

I stared at her. Surely I'd heard wrong. "You mean, the vampire Folsom? Not Julian? Or one of his kids?"

"No. Mackenzie Folsom, formerly known as Vincent Folsom. Folsom is already undead and cannot be killed by an Unforgivable Curse. He, like his Master, seeks immortality. In a way, many of us have the same endeavor of never dying. I was once the same way. He couldn't take the full blow, though, and I was left with this mark on my face."

I stared at the scar openly now, seeing for the first time how the scar was actually in a lightning-shape. It was cruel, permanent, and horrific. But in a way, it made her seem even more beautiful. She had been hurt and had delved for herself into the world of Dark Arts. This was the price she had paid for her folly.

"I still feel like this isn't my wages for what I've done." Professor Smith admitted quietly. "I still feel like I haven't quite made up for my mistakes. I believe I have done great damage to many when I once followed Lord Voldemort." She frowned as I flinched at the sound of the name.

"Do you fear his name?" She asked, sounding concerned.

"A lot of people do." I told her frankly. "I'm surprised you don't."

"The fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself." She quoted. "Dumbledore said that once, and I've never forgotten it. Don't give the enemy any more power than he already has, Amber. Don't be afraid of a mere name. He'll try to kill either way."

I blanched. "Alright. Professor, are you sure I'm too young to help?"

My teacher smiled gently. She took both of my hands into hers, and I felt an inexplicable peace and understanding pass between us.

"There is a lot that you won't ever be able to answer." She said. "But I know that you are destined for great things. I've known it for a long time. And in time, at the _right _time, you will be given full access to the knowledge you seek. You're a Ravenclaw. It's in your nature to be curious and want to learn. But you need to exercise self-control and patience. You will be rewarded for it. I promise."

I sighed loudly. "I guess I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Professor Smith chuckled. "No, you don't. Oh, and Amber? Your secret is safe with me."

I blinked. "Which one?" I asked sheepishly.

She chuckled. "I won't tell on you or your friends that you're all becoming Animagus. You really should register yourselves at the right time. I had to do the same thing when I became one."

I stared at her in amazement. "What's your form? What's your animal?"

She winked at me. "I already answered more questions than I allotted you. It's a surprise."

I scowled. "No fair."

Professor Smith smiled, her eyes crinkling. "Life rarely is. Now, come on. Let's get you back to the castle before your friends come looking for you. You're all too much trouble."

* * *

November and December passed by in a whirlwind of homework, classwork, exams, and more homework. Now that sleuthing was off the table, I found myself sleeping at night with only one nightmare a week and no more daytime visions. Winter had fully descended upon Hogwarts and the surrounding countryside, which was now coated in unicorn-white snow and cold enough to make breathing outside painful. I was grateful for the warm fires blazing in every room, and for the heavy winter robes Mum had sent to me during a particularly cold snap at the end of November.

The day of Christmas break saw most students leaving for the holiday, including myself. Only three students remained; a scared-looking first year boy, a sour-faced seventh-year boy, and Zoey MacDonald.

"I wonder why she's staying." I wondered as I lugged my suitcase down the steps leading from the Great Hall into the snowy world outside.

"She told me that her parents are visiting her sister and her husband in Italy," Lily informed me. "She told me in the girls' lavatory last night. She hates her brother in law, so she's going to stay here."

Zoey looked oddly small and alone without Angelina, who had been her best friend. Zoey fixed me with a look of mingled sadness and dislike before I was swept away with the other crowd of students making a mass exodus. The majority were leaving by train. Some were going to travel by Floo Powder or Portkey. Since my house was only a couple hours from Hogwarts, I would ride the Express back to Bellinghall before the train arrived back in London.

"Come on, let's grab a compartment." Lily said. Severus was watching her with a look of mingled sadness and anger; his black eyes found me and narrowed in intense dislike. I ignored him and climbed aboard the train, following Lily into an empty compartment and setting my luggage down.

"So," Lily said, smiling. "I have a proposition for you."

"Oh, joy." I muttered.

Lily cleared her throat. "I'll _pretend _you're excited. Alright, here it is: my parents want to go skiing the weekend after Christmas. Friday through Sunday. Well, they've asked me if I'd like to invite a guest… and I pick you!"

I stared at her. "Skiing? You mean, the Muggle sport when you slide down a hill on sticks?"

"Yeah. Close enough." Lily laughed. "Tuney can't go. She hates winter and wants to go see our grandparents in Nice, France. So she's taking an airplane there. But we already bought her ticket, and I decided to invite my other sister."

I smiled at her, warm inside. "I'd love to go."

Lily clapped her hands, squealing in delight. "Perfect! We can pick you up from your house and drive from there. Have you heard of Lost River?"

"Yes. It's about three hours away from our house. It's a nice ski resort."

"Well, that's where we're going. We have reservations for the lodge, so it's an all-expenses-paid-for trip. Oh, Amber, I'm so excited! This is wonderful!"

"I'm surprised you didn't invite Severus," I told her frankly. "I thought you wanted to spend time with him."

Lily shrugged. "Oh, you know… he's a boy, and Mum and Dad weren't keen on letting a _boy _come with us."

I could tell that she didn't want to talk about Severus anymore. She wasn't looking at me, and her fingers were twisted around her dark red hair as she stared out the window on the platform of Hogsmeade.

"I think you should be careful." I told her, not really knowing where the words came from. "People are going to have to choose sides, Lily. You can't hold onto someone who chooses darkness if you choose light."

Lily dashed at her eyes, where tears had gathered. "I'm so scared for him, Amber," she admitted in a broken voice. "He's so _different _now. It's like I don't even know him anymore."

I wanted to reach over and hug her, but the train surged forward, and I had to catch myself before I fell. I handed her a tissue instead, wishing I could do more.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her.

Lily blew her nose and shook her head. "What's the point? You know what he's like. He never used to be like this. It's like I'm losing him. I'm losing Sev, and there's nothing I can do about it. I hate this, Amber. I hate it!"

I bit my lip, unsure of how to comfort her. It was usually the other way around, with me in tears and Lily offering the words of wisdom. I was not used to being the comforter.

"You know," I began slowly, calculating my words carefully so I wouldn't blunder, "I have a rule for relationships in my life. If times are good more often than they're bad, then it's worth it. But if they're bad more often than they're good… it's not worth it anymore."

Lily looked up at me, her tear-filled green eyes spilling over again. "How do I know when it's the time to end it?"

I shrugged. "Only you can be the judge of that. I think you'll know when."

She sniffled, dabbing at her eyes. Her mascara was running slightly, leaving black smudges underneath her eyes. I grimaced and offered her a second one.

"Thanks," she said, blowing her nose again. The compartment door rattled open and Severus stared down at us. His gaze swept from Lily's to mine. I met his look steadily, hoping he knew just how much he was hurting Lily.

"Can we talk?" He asked Lily quietly. "Alone?"

Lily looked at me. I gave a tiny nod and rose to my feet. I passed by Severus, fixing him with a stern look.

"I'll be back in thirty minutes." I told him. "Don't do anything stupid, Severus."

Severus, who had barely spoken to me over the past four years, looked like he wanted nothing more than to jinx me into oblivion. His hook-like nose flared, his face white with livid indignation.

"Amber, it's okay." She said in a tremulous voice. "Sev, close the door, please."

Fixing him with one last look of warning, I left the compartment. I was alone in the narrow hallways of the car. I chewed on my lip, unsure of where to go. I made my way down the corridor, peeking inside of compartments every few steps. At last, I found the one I sought: the Marauders were all inside, talking animatedly while playing a game of Exploding Snap.

I knocked. The door slid open, and I stepped inside, careful to avoid treading on Peter's feet. Each boy held a hand of cards, in addition to a pile of half-eaten Honeydukes candy lying scattered among the seats.

"Hey, Lionheart!" Sirius said, grinning. He had chocolate staining his teeth. "Want to join? I'm winning, of course, but it'll be more fun with a girl."

"How so?" I asked neutrally as I sat down beside Peter. Remus looked annoyed at my choice.

"Oh, you know, girls are hormonal. Their reactions are better." Sirius said brightly as he dealt me a hand.

I rolled my eyes. "That's why you'll never get married, Sirius Black."

"Please," Sirius said haughtily, "I'm a complete lady's man. I'll have you know I've dated ten girls at Hogwarts already."

I raised a brow as I laid down a card. "Really."

Sirius scowled. "Honestly, I'm hurt, Amber. You don't believe me, do you?"

"Not really." I said as Peter giggled into his half-eaten chocolate frog. I knew full well that Sirius was somewhat of a player in the school, constantly rotating between dates with pretty girls because of his charm and good looks. James enjoyed a similar popularity, but I had noticed that he had stopped dating altogether this year. I had an inkling as to why. Remus hadn't been with anyone since Angelina, and Peter still thought girls had cooties.

"Speaking of the dating game," James interrupted, pushing his glasses up his nose, "how's Lily doing with that ugly blonde bloke?"

My brows were now in danger of disappearing into my hairline. "If you're talking about my cousin Harry, they're doing well. It's pretty serious right now."

"What'd you mean, 'serious'?" James asked aggressively. "Are they snogging and stuff?"

"That is _none _of your business, James Potter." I said in a stern voice as I unwrapped a bar of dark chocolate and bit off a large piece.

"He's too old for her." James said bluntly. "What is he, twenty-six?"

I snorted. "Try seventeen. He'll be eighteen in a few weeks."

"Isn't Locke thirty or something?" Sirius asked mildly.

I rolled my eyes. "No, he's eighteen. His birthday was last month." I had sent him a pair of broomstick-embroidered socks and a birthday card. He had responded immediately with a letter, and we'd been exchanging post daily ever since.

"Are you two just friends?" Remus asked in an expressionless voice. I glanced at him, but he was staring down at his hand of cards.

"For now." I said delicately. Remus turned pink and a muscle jerked in his cheek. I refused to take back my words or hide my intentions anymore. Even though I loved Remus, I wasn't going to wait for him like a poor besotted fool. If things continued between Sean and I as they were, I knew eventually we would have to go on a date, just to test the waters. Whether that happened in a few months or a year, I knew it was just a matter of time. As much as I wanted to be with Remus, I knew I needed to move on with my life and take Lily's advice and at least _try _a date with Sean.

"Speaking of older guys," James said, inhaling a fat piece of coconut cake, "have you ever thought of going with an older _girl_?"

Peter's jaw dropped, as if the very idea was horrendous. Remus was staring out the window, not listening. I shrugged. "I don't see a problem dating an older guy. Or a younger guy. As long as it's healthy. What about you, Sirius?"

A small grin had formed on his face, but Sirius remained silent. He whistled as he laid down a card. "Why all this talk about dating, anyway? It's a hassle when girls get all hung-up on you. Right Moony?"

But Remus wasn't listening. His body language clearly conveyed that he wanted to be left alone. I ignored him and continued to play with the others. Finally, one of Peter's cards exploded, effectively ending our round. Before we could start another, however, there was a loud knock on the glass door. I allowed it to slide open.

A stern-looking blonde girl with a long braid over one shoulder surveyed the compartment with icy blue eyes. I noticed a Prefect's badge on her lapel.

"Can we help you?" Sirius asked cheerfully.

The girl frowned. "I thought I heard a commotion."

"That would be a little game called Exploding Snap." He said brightly. "Care to join us?"

The girl looked like she had never smiled in her life. Her eyes narrowed at Sirius' grin.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She demanded in an icy voice.

"Because you're beautiful?" Sirius said innocently. The girl, who was almost as pale as Folsom, blushed fiery red at his bold words. James whistled, grinning widely.

"I don't want to hear anymore explosions in here. Understood?" She said in a tightly controlled voice.

"Whatever you want, love." Sirius cajoled. "What's your name?"

The girl lifted her chin a notch. "It doesn't matter. You aren't in the same league as me, Black."

James burst out laughing, while Peter gasped. But Sirius looked intrigued.

"And why's that?" He asked innocently.

"I've heard about you." She said evenly. "I don't intend to become your next victim. Enjoy the rest of your ride, children." She let the door slam shut. Sirius leapt to his face, an excited grin on his face.

"What the devil are you doing?" I asked incredulously as he wrenched open the door.

"Going to find out more about her." Sirius said devilishly as he took off down the corridor after the girl.

I shook my head. "I know who that is. Idiot. I would have told him her name if he'd asked."

"Who is she?" James asked eagerly.

"Her name is Stella White." I replied. "She's a Slytherin Prefect, sixth year. She's in the Slug Club."

"Oh." James said, wrinkling his nose. Apparently he had lost all interest at the word 'Slytherin'. "Anyway, who's up for another round of Exploding Snap? Peter, you deal."

"Pass." Remus said tartly as Peter laid out four cards. Startled, Peter shuffled the deck and dealt for three players. I refused to look at Remus, wondering instead how Lily and Severus were faring.

After a second round of Exploding Snap, in which James's glasses turned black because of the soot, Sirius returned. His face was pale and he looked like he had been sick.

"Sirius!" James said, shocked. "What's the matter, mate? You look awful."

Sirius shook his head numbly. "I just… I never knew… She made me think. Really think, you know? Did you know how much of a _prat _I've been to girls? I'm a serial dater. I've broken hearts without even blinking. Merlin's _beard._" He buried his face in his hands.

The four of us exchanged looks. "Uh, Sirius?" James asked uncertainly. "What exactly happened?"

Sirius lifted his horror-struck face. His gray eyes were wide with the look of someone who has realized he has done something terrible. "She just… made me see things. I don't know, mate. I think she used some kind of hex."

"Want me to repay the favor?" James asked in a dark voice, drawing his wand.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, for Heaven's sake, James. Put that away before someone loses an eye."

Sirius stared at me. "Amber. You're a girl."

"Oh, well spotted." I said acidly.

"No! I mean… you understand. You know how and why girls think they way they do."

"You could say that." I said icily. "I have to go; I promised I'd go back to Lily after half an hour. I'm going to be late."

"I can't believe she said _no _to me." Sirius went on, his voice hollow. "She dumped me. She dumped me _good_."

"How can she dump you if you just met her?" I challenged, rising to my feet.

"I don't know. She made me feel things… see things… I don't know."

"Maybe it's time for you to stop fooling around with so many girls and just commit to one already." I told him harshly. "Honestly, Sirius. Get a hold of yourself."

"She _dumped _me." Sirius said again, miserable.

"Here, have some chocolate, buddy." James encouraged. "Come on, eat up."

"Have a nice holiday, boys," I said, waving. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!" Peter exclaimed. "Merry Christmas," James and Sirius said in unison, as James tried to salvage Sirius' shattered pride. Remus gave me a small nod. "Merry Christmas."

I left them and returned to Lily's compartment. "How'd it go?" I asked her as the door shut behind me.

Lily's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. "We talked."

"And?" I inquired.

"Well, we're still friends." She said quietly, looking at the floor with her hands clenched in her lap. "For now."

I gazed at her, sensing the deep despair and impending loss. "I'm so sorry, Lily. Maybe he'll change."

"I don't know." She said, scrubbing at her face. "I'm so confused, Amber. I hate this."

I sat beside her, putting an arm around her. "It's going to be alright."

"Thanks, Amber." She sighed, wilting against me. "I'm scared for him. I hope he realizes what he's doing before it's too late."

I didn't know what to say to this. I listened to her recount all of the good times and bad with Severus until the train rolled into Bellinghall. I stood up, collecting my trunk and giving her another hug.

"I'll see you soon." I promised her. "You know my address, right?"

"404 Highland Road." Lily chanted. "I won't forget. I'll send you an owl."

"Bye, Lily." I said, and departed the train. A light snow fell from the gray sky as the maroon train rolled away from the platform and disappeared around a corner. Standing beside an old blue Ford truck was Dad and Naomi.

"Hey, kid," Dad said warmly as he embraced me. "How was the ride?"

Naomi crushed my ribs as Dad loaded my luggage into the truck bed. "Short. Nice. Hey, Naomi, I can't breathe."

"Sorry!" Naomi squealed, beaming up at me.

"Your mother's working at her pastry shop." Dad said as we climbed into the cabin of the truck. "We'll stop by before heading home so she can see you and you can grab something to eat."

"Oh, joy." I muttered as the old truck meandered down the streets of downtown Bellinghall village. We had arrived at the pastry shop within a minute.

Mum certainly had been busy. The rundown, derelict building that had been abandoned for years had been given new life. The one-story cottage-like building had been given a fresh coat of sky-blue paint. The large bay windows had been scrubbed clean. Bright twinkle lights hung down from the exposed beams I could see from outside as we neared. The brick walkway was covered in snow. A circular white wooden sign with elegant golden letters hung from the side of the building: _The Three Sisters Bakery._

We opened the door, which jingled merrily. The small bakery had only a few tables, and every single one was full of loudly-talking patrons. Everyone had a hot drink and a pastry in front of them. Behind the glass counter was Mum, wearing a pale blue dress robe and a flour-dusted red apron. Two twenty-something year olds worked with her as they served customers. There was quite a long line waiting to order at the counter.

"The bakery's been a huge success," Dad said as we inched toward the back of the small cafe. "There wasn't one before in Bellinghall, and your mum filled that niche. She gets orders for birthday and wedding cakes, cupcakes, business parties… she even got an order from the assistant to the Minister of Magic for an enchanted cheesecake!"

I watched as Mum and her two cohorts worked in perfect harmony to serve customers and run their cafe. Every customer looked happy and relaxed. Naomi helped herself to a chocolate croissant as I bit my fingernails, nervous. Was this how Mum was going to move on from Virginia's death? Was running a bakery really a good idea? Could she handle the pressure of what a business would demand of her?

Mum spotted us and hurried over. She hugged me, swooping down to kiss me. She didn't have to reach down that far anymore. I was quickly catching up in height.

"Amber!" Mum cried, her jewel-blue eyes bright with excitement. "It's so good to see you! How are you? How was the train ride?"

"Uh…" I thought for words. "You look busy. Maybe we should talk later?"

Mum wiped her flour-covered hands on her apron. "Nonsense. Silva and Hannah can handle themselves for a few minutes. I'll go grab you something to eat and we'll talk over there."

"Silva Higgs?" I asked. "The girl I lifeguarded with this summer?"  
"That's the one!" She said brightly. "She's a great worker. Makes a _lot _of tips. Popular girl. She went to Hogwarts with Sean Locke. Hufflepuff."

I grimaced. "That's her." I still hadn't quite forgiven Silva for the number of would-be victims she'd had to rescue this summer at the lake, while I had none.

Mum flashed behind the counter while we looked for a place to sit. Naomi went over to a table where a young couple sat, staring dreamily at each other.

"Excuse me, can you leave?" Naomi asked politely. "We need a place to eat and you're kind of just staring at each other."

"Naomi!" Dad said, embarrassed.

I laughed. I admired her candor.

The young couple looked up, startled, and vacated the table. Naomi sat down triumphantly while Dad shook his head.

"I thought we raised you better," he said in a defeated tone.

"She's honest, at least." I said brightly as I sat next to my youngest sister. Mum appeared a moment later and placed a chocolate-raspberry slice of cheesecake before me.

"Eat up!" she said. "You look so thin."

"Thanks." I said drilly, taking a bite. It was very good, cloud-soft and full of flavor.

"So, how's school going?" Mum asked, sitting beside dad. "We got your owl this morning for your fall grades. Third in your class, huh? That's amazing."

"Yeah. Lily's first. Remus is second." I nibbled at the cake.

"So, Remus…" Mum said coyly. "Is he your boyfriend?"

I nearly choked. "_No_, Mum. He's just a friend. A really good friend. Who happens to be a boy."

"So he's your boyfriend." Naomi said.

I smacked my hand to my forehead. "No. Not at all."

"Well, I personally don't see the difference." Naomi said airily as she bit into her croissant.

"Trust me, there's a _huge _difference." I said darkly, thinking of Angelina and Remus' brief relationship.

"Anyway, Amber," Mum carried on, smiling happily, "your father and I are so proud of you and how well you're doing that we've decided to take you to a professional meet-and-greet Quidditch game this summer!"

I stared at them. "But, Mum… I've already got tickets from my teacher, Mara Smith. She plays for the Montrose Magpies. Remember?"

Dad looked oddly flushed; Mum surprised. "Oh! I completely forgot about those. Well, then, that changes things. You've got a nice owl and a nice broom… so what else would you like? A new set of dress robes? A gift check for a book store?"

"Actually," I said, looking squarely at Dad and completely disregarding Professor Smith's warning, "I'd like to know what Dad does at the Ministry of Magic. Can you take me to work with you for a day so I can job-shadow you?"

Mum exchanged a long, loaded look with Dad. Dad cleared his throat and unbuttoned the top button of his flannel shirt. "I don't know if I can do that, Amber. I work in a very secret part of the government. It's not exactly the kind of place I can take my child to work."

"What if I had special permission?" I went on, wondering if James and Sirius could forge a signature well enough to pass through Ministry of Magic security. "If Professor Dumbledore said it was okay, then wouldn't I be able to go with you? He's in the First Class Order of Merlin, on the Wizengamot…"

Dad looked heavily at Mum, who was looking at me with an odd expression on her face. "Why would you want that, dear? Wouldn't something else be nicer? Even a trip to the lake or something-"

"No, Mum, I'm certain that's what I want." I told her enthusiastically. "If I want to work in the Ministry someday… Don't you want me to have a good career and life when I'm grown up and on my own?" I blinked innocently at them, using every ounce of charm I possessed. I had seen Sirius and James use the same wheedling tactic countless times to escape punishment. I crossed my fingers under the table, hoping it would work.

It did. Dad let out a long gusty sigh, and I knew I had won. "Alright. If you don't mind going in on a holiday, I'll take you after Christmas before you head back to Hogwarts. But you'll have to sign a few forms and waivers saying you aren't going to speak. Confidentiality forms, you know. You'll also have to go through security, and you can't come with me everywhere. But I'll probably have a tour guide bring you around the Ministry when that happens."

"Brilliant." I told him happily, already planning to write James a letter and ask if I could borrow his cloak of invisibility for the trip so I could sneak away from the tour guide. "Also, Lily invited me to go on a weekend ski trip… is that alright? Her parents will pick me up. You wouldn't have to pay a thing."

Mum and Dad blinked. Naomi pouted. "But you just got back! Why can't you stay and visit with us? I never get to see you anymore."

"We'll spend time together while I'm home, Naomi," I promised her, ruffling her hair. "Besides, I've got my own life now at school and with my friends. I can't always be here with you."

Naomi looked sad. "You never have time for me anymore."

My heart twisted. She had that Sirius-James look pegged perfectly. "Naomi… come on. Let's go out and build a snowman right now."

"Okay!" She yelled, jumping to her feet. "Let's go!"

"Amber, we also wanted to talk to you about this trip." Mum interrupted. "There won't be boys on it or anything, will there?"

"No, of course not, Mum." I told her. "Remus and Sean aren't my boyfriends."

"That's surprising," Mum mused. "Because Sean asked your father for permission to date you at your birthday party. And I'm sure that Remus boy isn't going down without a good fight."

I stared at them, horrified. "He _what? _Sean did _what_?"

"Come on, Amber!" Naomi pleaded, tugging on my arm insistently. "You promised!"

"We'll talk about this later." I told my parents, mortified.

"You bet we will." Dad grumbled unhappily. "Now go play with your sister and stop growing up."

"I grew up, Dad," I said sourly, rolling my eyes as Naomi tugged me away. "I promise I won't do it again."

* * *

Lily and her parents picked me up from the house as promised that Friday. A storm bringing half a foot of snow was forecasted for all of Saturday, meaning that we would be snowed in and have plenty of flakes for skiing that weekend. Mum and Dad greeted Lily's parents, Rose and Brian Evans, and offered them a cup of tea before we departed.

"We can't," Rose Evans apologized. "We want to beat the storm. It's supposed to start around midnight. My goodness, are those knitting needles making a sweater all by themselves?"

"Magic, Mum," Lily assured her. "It's not going to hurt you."

"It's fascinating!" Rose Evans exclaimed. She shared her daughter's dark red hair, but had large, pale eyes that were kind and warm. "Lily's the only witch in our family, you know. We were so surprised when she was a little girl and made the cat fly all by himself. Fluffy's never been the same, poor thing…"

"Rose," Brian sighed, black-haired and green-eyed, the same eyes he had passed onto his youngest daughter, "come on, we don't want to be late."

He shook hands with Dad, who offered again to pay for my share of expenses, but he was shouted down by Lily's parents.

"It's Muggle money anyway, Dad," I told Dad, climbing into the backseat of the station wagon. "We can't use Wizarding money at the resort."

"Oh, right," Dad said gruffly. "Have fun, noodle-brain."

"Bye, Mom, Dad." I said as I shut the door. Once the car began to move down the lonely country road, her parents began to grill us about Hogwarts and what kinds of magic we were learning there. Lily smiled and rolled her eyes as she did the majority of the talking. I found myself relaxing, however, and recounting my own experiences at the school. I left out the visions and nightmares, as well as the illegal things I did with the Marauders.

The ski resort was packed to the seams with holidaymakers when we arrived. While Mr. and Mrs. Evans checked us in, Lily and I ventured outside and scoped out the impressive mountain rearing up behind us. The resort was situated at the very base the mountain, which loomed majestically and terrifyingly into the overcast sky.

"Having second thoughts?" Lily asked slyly as we followed her parents to the lodge we were renting.

"Maybe a little," I admitted as my stomach twisted unpleasantly at the sight of ant-sized people zooming down the white slopes.

"You look nervous." Lily remarked as we left our luggage and headed for the booth where we would pick up our equipment. "Skiing can't be that much different than Quidditch."

"Trust me, there's a _big _difference." I assured her as we bundled up and lugged our skis outside into the bitter air. The air smelled strongly of incoming snow, and every time the wind blew, my skin felt like it froze.

"If you're going to freak out, please don't embarrass me," Lily begged as she watched a handsome group of teenage Muggles walk by. "I want to talk to people."

"Aren't you dating Harry?" I retorted as we stopped to step into our skis.

"Well, yeah," Lily said evasively, "but it's not like we're married yet."

"Yet." I muttered. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

"I'm not." She shot back, tossing back her long mane of red hair. "I just know what I want."

"Whatever you say." I said as I looked again at the huge mountain and gulped.

"Maybe we should start on the bunny slope," Lily recommended as we shuffled over to the line of tiny bundled-up children waiting in line to be taxied up to the top of the bunny slope.

"This is humiliating!" I hissed as we were carried forth by the momentum. "These kids are half our size and look at them!"

The children were zooming down the bunny slope as if they'd been skiing since birth. Lily rolled her eyes. "Everyone has to start somewhere. Including you. Just relax. Stop fidgeting."

I was picking nervously at my jacket. "I can't. I'm nervous."

"Oh, don't be!" She chided. "I've seen you play Quidditch. You're fine flying at fifty miles an hour a hundred feet high, but you aren't okay with this?"

"I'm just getting used to this." I said in a dignified voice as we waited at the top of the slope.

"Fair enough." Lily admitted. "Come on."

She and I slowly meandered down the slope. My hands were clenched so tightly on the poles that I quickly lost feeling in them. It took ten minutes to reach the end of the short run.

"See?" She said coaxingly. "That wasn't so bad. Ready to try that green run?" She pointed to an alarmingly steep slope up the hill, accessible only by chairlift.

"No way." I said immediately. "I need another practice run."

"Oh, alright, chicken." Lily said crossly as I completed a second sluggish scrape down the slope before she dragged me over to the short que for the green run. My heart pounded hard as my stomach squirmed inside of me. "Lily," I said, my voice hitching as our feet hung over the open air.

"How is this any different from a broomstick?" She sighed in exasperation. "Honestly, Amber."

"It's _very _different!" I said hotly. "I use my hands to guide the broom. Not my feet!"

"Oh, relax!" She snapped. "Come on. Look, we're going to get off now. Ready? Go!"

Startled, I put my feet down and shakily slid down the small ramp at the exit of the chair lift. We stood at the top of the run, which rolled down all the way back to the resort, which was small and distant. I felt dizzy and weak.

"Maybe you should sit down," Lily advised, looking concerned now. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." I lied, trembling as I gripped the two poles. "I'm just… not used to this…"

"It can't be that much different from flying." She said, taking on a soothing note now. "Just picture your poles as the broomstick. Right? It's not that bad. Come on, try it. I'll use a Shield Charm if you fall. Or a Cushioning Charm. I've got your back."  
I swallowed against the horrible dryness in my throat and braced myself for certain death. "I don't like this." I said stupidly.

"Nonsense." Lily said breezily. "Skiing is just Muggle Quidditch. You'll love this. I promise." She leaned forward and shot down the towering slope, leaving a spray of snowflakes in her wake.

I watched her, horror-struck, as she twisted and pivoted her hips so that she cut her way in a zig-zag down the slope. She reached the bottom and waved at me. "Come on!" She shouted, her voice sounding very far away.

I gulped, gripping the ski poles tightly. I wished I had a helmet or bubble wrap. Anything to protect me from what I knew to be certain death.

Before I could rethink the whole thing or ask to ride the lift down to the safety of the bottom of the mountain, my skis began to slowly slide down the lip of the hill.

"Oh, no." I said weakly as the skis picked up momentum. "Oh, _NO. _AHHHHHH!"

I screamed as the skis raced me down the mountain slope. I desperately tried to slow down, but I didn't know how. "_Make a pizza slice," _Lily had told me on the bunny slope. I tried, but it didn't work. It was like my skis were possessed by their own accord.

"Amber! You did it! You're… hey! Slow down! AMBER!" Lily's triumphant voice changed to terrified mid-talk. I flashed past her, barreling past the bunny slope and through the other skiers as a tiny red shed came hurtling into my field of vision. It was getting bigger and closer at a sickening fast pace. Desperately, I reached for my wand, but it was too late. A split second later, I smashed like a Mac truck into a cement wall. My body hit the wooden shed with such force that I was ejected from my skis. I felt myself being thrown backwards and land on something hard and cold, and saw a bright white light that I assumed to be the sun. Then, everything went black.


	63. Locked Out

**Big event finally happened! Some of you will be very disappointed, others will be very happy. Life in times of war has a way of making people do crazy things, and Amber is no exception to that rule. I am not going to reveal which boy is endgame, but #TeamRemus and #TeamSean are going to either hate or love this chapter. Y'all are the BEST and I can't wait to finish Book 4 hopefully by next Friday. Thank you to all who favorite, follow and review! Y'all are the BEST!:)**

* * *

"Do you think she's okay?"

"She looks pretty peaky."

"No, she's just naturally pale. Did you see how fast she hit that shed?"

"I can't believe she didn't stop."

"I tried." I mumbled.

The voices stopped. I opened my eyes and blinked up at a chandelier made of antlers and candles. A gaggle of faces stared down at me, including Lily's.

"Oh, Amber!" She half-sobbed. "Thank God you're alright. I tried to stop you, but I couldn't get to my wand fast enough-"

"Your _pole_, right?" I said loudly, aware of all of the Muggles around us. There was a medic too, who shined a light in my eyes. I winced.

"Pupil dilation looks normal," he said brusquely, taking my pulse. "You hit your head pretty hard, little lady."

"I hit _everything _pretty hard," I muttered as he looked at his wristwatch.

"You're lucky nothing's broken." He said seriously. "You know, you really shouldn't be skiing any kinds of runs other than bunny slopes until you've figured out how to stop."

"Thanks, I'm aware of that." I said dryly, as I glared at Lily, who gulped. I felt guilty when I saw her eyes fill with tears.

"Does anything feel painful?" The medic asked as he popped a thermometer in my mouth.

"Uh… everything?" I said around the glass thermometer.

"Try to be more specific." He said.

"My face hurts." I mumbled, touching the left side of my face underneath my eye socket. "And my chest. My forearms, too."

"You tried to stop the impact at the last second," the medic explained. "So your forearms took the brunt of the impact. But they jammed back into your chest, which is why your ribs hurt. They aren't cracked, but you're going to be pretty bruised. And your left eye looks like it got smashed into the shed wall, too. It'll be green with a nice bruise in a few hours. You've got just one cut, which is surprising for such a forceful impact. You're very lucky you didn't break any bones, let alone your neck. Next time, wear a helmet and take it slow, alright?"

I touched the gauze bandage taped to my cheek. "Thanks. Can I try again tomorrow?"

"Are you nuts?" Lily asked shrilly. "You almost just died!"

"It wasn't that much different than being ploughed," I said, thinking of the one time I had accidentally slammed into the ground while practicing on my broomstick. "You're right Lily. It's not much different than Quidditch."

"You're impossible." Lily said in a shaking voice. "You actually like skiing now?"

I shrugged, wincing at the movement. "I'm not afraid anymore, if that's what you mean. I mean, I'm apprehensive, but I want to learn now."

Lily burst into tears. "Oh, you're impossible!" She ran away, bawling.

"Barking mad." I muttered, accepting a mug of tea handed to me from a pair of hands.

"She's just in shock," the medic said. "She thought you were going to die. You're lucky to be alive and just a little banged up. Almost like magic." The medic made a face and shrugged. "Anyway, you'll want to take some muscle relaxant tonight to combat the soreness. Take a hot bath and stretch. Don't push it on the slopes again until you're ready, alright? Take care." He left, the rest of the crowd dissipating now that I was clearly alive and in no danger.

One person remained, the tea-giver. "You can go now, the show's over." I said shortly as I sipped the tea.

"Actually, I'd rather stay with you." The familiar voice said.

I nearly dropped the mug as I stared at the owner of the voice. "Sean!" I gasped.

Sean had grown a scruffy, short beard and was wearing a red hat, which was why I hadn't recognized him at first. His gray eyes were alight with a mixture of amusement and exasperation, and I felt myself blushing hotly at his closeness.

"You missed an owl," Sean said lightly as he sat next to me on the couch I had been laid on. "You told me you'd be here, and I responded to you that me and my flatmate would be here as well. You never wrote back."

"I'm sorry." I said, aghast. "Christmas was so busy… my family came over… I lost track of time and forgot. I'm sorry, Sean."

Sean smiled, and I felt another strong surge of heat. "I'm just glad you're alive. Lily pushed you into this, huh?"

"Yeah," I said darkly, sipping the tea. "I'll get her back eventually, don't you worry."

"The poor thing's been in hysterics since you hit the shed." Sean informed me. "I found you first. I thought I saw some crazy blonde zooming by, and low-and-behold, it was you."

"What can I say? I'm a catastrophe." I said sardonically.

"A beautiful catastrophe." Sean said warmly, tucking a strand of hair behind one of my ears. His gray eyes were full of unspoken thoughts, and I quickly said, "so, how's life been? You know, with Quidditch and everything."

A faint smile tugged at his lips. "Quidditch is Quidditch. I love it, but it's still work. It's been nice to get away."

"Who's your flatmate?" I asked, intent on keeping the conversation flowing.

"Duncan Cowley," he told me. "He plays Beater for the Falcons."

"How old is he?"  
"Twenty-four. Why? Are you looking to get his owl, too? You've turned into quite the player, Miss Harkstone."

I covered my face with my hands. "Ugh, no. It's not like that at all. I only write to you and Remus."

Sean's eyes flickered. "You two are still friends?"

"Of course. He's one of my best friends. Second only to Lily."

"I see." Sean said lightly, shifting closer. "I'd like to change that. Get closer to Amber Harkstone. Be her new best friend."

I felt myself going red again. "Sean." I said warningly.

Sean grinned. "What? Afraid I'll bite?"

I laughed, smacking at his arm. "Not at all. I know a few good hexes that'll have you inching across the floor like a worm."

"I like a girl who can fight." Sean said admiringly. "You've always been a warrior. I still can't believe you weren't in Hufflepuff like your Mum and Dad."

"Yeah," I sighed, "I get that a lot."

"So what's stopping you from going out with Lupin?" Sean asked, tugging at my hair. I knew I should have protested, but it felt so relaxing that I let him play with it.

"Oh," I said drolly, "he's got this stupid idea in his head that he's dangerous. Like, just because he turns into a violent, mindless monster once a month we shouldn't date. How ridiculous is that? I turn into a monster every month for a whole week, and that wouldn't stop _me._"

Sean roared with laughter. "Merlin's beard, I missed your wit. You're a funny girl, Amber. I wish you'd come to my practices."

"Why would I do that?" I asked indignantly. "I got enough of you on the Quidditch pitch when you taught me how to play. I think I'm all set."

"You'd be surprised at how many girls would give their left arm to see me play." Sean said, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Dumb girls with pea-sized brains." I said acidly. "I don't need to see how _not _to play Quidditch."

Sean laughed again, and I laughed with him. My heart was racing like when I sped on a broomstick with a Quaffle under an arm, intent on scoring a goal. I had that same wild sense of impending victory now. But at the same time, guilt made my stomach twist. _What about Remus?_

"You look beautiful," Sean said, breaking me away from thinking about Remus. "I still can't believe you're only fourteen."

"I grew up fast, I guess. Dad was just complaining about it."

"Your dad and I get along well." Sean informed me. "In fact, he gave me permission to date you."

My mouth fell open. "_Sean. _You did _not._"

"I did. I asked him at your birthday, and he gave me the go-ahead. So, what say you? Are you-"

But before he could finish his question, Lily came back, her tears gone and replaced with glee. "Sean! I knew it was you! I didn't recognize you with that ugly beard!"

Sean laughed as Lily hugged him. "The team's all growing one right now. I'm bound by magical contract. I can't cut it until the season's over."

"Boys are stupid." Lily responded, as if that settled the matter for all time. "Amber, I can't believe Harry can't make it. And you just saw him a few days ago for Christmas!"

"Christmas is always a sordid affair for our family," I remarked, thinking of the mountains of food and the thunderous noise my family produced. "I'll reckon he needs a few days to recover."

Lily pouted. "Well, now I feel all alone and left out. I don't want to be the third wheel."

My cheeks burned. "Lily, you aren't third-wheeling. We aren't a couple."

Lily arched a brow. "Then why are you two holding hands?"

My jaw dropped. Somehow Sean had snuck one of his hands into mine. I jerked it away reflexively, feeling like I'd just swallowed an entire bottle of Pepperup Potion. Lily smirked as Sean cleared his throat.

"I'd like to take you ladies out to dinner tonight," he said. "My treat. How does sushi sound?"

"I don't eat meat." I said automatically. "I'm a vegetarian."

"Why?" Lily asked incredulously. "I love animals too much to be a vegetarian. They're delicious."

I rolled my eyes. "Meat doesn't agree with me for some reason. It never has. So I don't eat it."

"So fish won't count?" Sean asked.

"No." I said unapologetically.

"Well then, how about Thai?" Sean suggested. "There's this amazing place in town called Doc Chey's. They have the best pad thai. You can have tofu."  
"I do love curry," Lily said longingly. "But you two don't want to be alone? Like, on a date?"

I reached over and whacked her arm, and my ribs shrieked in protest. I doubled over, holding my chest as the pain subsided. "Ow."

"You hit that shed really hard." Lily told me. "You're going to be sore for awhile."

"You can't whip-up an antidote for me?" I shot at her. "Seeming as you want to be the next Potions master?"

"Hey," Lily said, holding up her hands, "I'm not Slughorn's prodigee yet."

"I'll see you two in an hour?" Sean said brightly. "Give you time to freshen up? You're freezing, Amber."

"I'm not cold." I mumbled, feeling like my face was on fire. I curled the afghan blanket closer, determinedly not looking at him. It was hard enough dealing with his intoxicating scent of aftershave, wind, and snow.

"We'll meet you back here in an hour at six." Lily promised. "See if your flatmate wants to join us."

"Lily!" I protested. "You're dating my cousin!"

"It's not a double date," Lily clarified. "I just don't want to be third-wheeling."

"Fair enough." I allotted grudgingly.

"Excellent." Sean said happily. "I'll see you ladies in one hour." He bent forward and kissed my cheek. Then he Disapparated.

I clapped a hand to my cheek, stunned. Lily looked extremely smug about something. "What?" I asked her crossly.

"Nothing." She said cheerfully. "Remus should have gotten rid of his stupid rule, that's all. Now he's going to lose you to McDreamy. I mean, Sean."

"This is all your fault." I accused.

Lily smiled broadly. "Honestly, though. Doesn't hitting that shed at fifty miles an hour make this all worth it? I was kidding!"

I had just thrown a pillow at her and hit her squarely. "Shut up and help me get ready. I want you to make me look pretty."

"Hair and makeup?" Lily asked eagerly.

"You can even pick my outfit." I told her as she helped me stand.

"If I had known a ski accident would have made you let me do this, I would have done this ages ago!" Lily said triumphantly.

"I'll get you back for this, Evans. Just you wait."

* * *

Precisely an hour later, Lily and I made our way back down to the lobby. We were five minutes late because it hurt to move and I was extra slow making my way down the two floors to the couch. Lily didn't complain.

"A lady is never late." She said in a dignified voice. "The others are just early. Besides, a girl should never wait on a guy. He should wait on _her._"

"Thanks for that advice, Oh-Giver-of-Great-Wisdom," I said sardonically as we neared the lobby. The entire resort seemed to be decorated in unpainted wood, taxidermy, colorful geometric fabric, and gray stone. The mountainside was illuminated by thousands of orange lights on the slopes so that people could ski or snowboard at night. I watched the ant-like shapes zigzag down the white slope and vowed to master the bunny slope before we left on Sunday evening.

Sean and his flatmate Duncan Cowley were waiting, sitting on the couch I had been laying on when I had woken. Even though all four of us were Magical, all of us were dressed like Muggles. Sean wore a thick red-and-black plaid flannel jacket and dark blue jeans. Duncan was slightly shorter than Sean, with chocolate-brown hair that was gelled into a smooth coif. His light brown eyes were warm behind large square glasses. He wore a black jacket and tan-colored khakis. Lily wore a striped turtleneck and tights, along with a poofy white scarf. She had chosen my outfit, which was a simple pale pink v-neck sweater, jeans, and light brown boots. She hadn't given me a jacket.

"You'll see why," she had said slyly.

Sean smiled wider as we approached. I had an unattractive ambling gait since walking was painful, and Sean offered his arm for support. Grumbling, I took it, trying to salvage what was left of my pride.

"Ready?" He asked us.

"I suppose so." Lily said airily, tossing back her hair. "You're tall, Duncan. You play Beater, right?"

I watched in amazement as Lily and Duncan began to talk animatedly about Quidditch. My attention was quickly diverted by Sean, who cleared his throat as we walked outside.

"You forgot your jacket," he said, slipping off his and draping it around my shoulders. It was heavy, warm, and smelled like him. His scent wreathed around me in a cloud of comforting intoxication. I blushed as I slid my arms carefully through the sleeves. Sean was wearing a fitted waffle-knit gray long sleeve and looked warm enough with his muscles straining at the fabric of his shirt.

"Thanks," I managed. "How are we getting there? Taxi?"

"Side-Along Apparition." Sean said. "Ready?"

I braced myself, nodding. A moment later, were sucked through a compressing tunnel of darkness and swirling colors and sound. A second later our feet touched hard ground, a dark alleyway full of snow-covered boxes and rotting food. Sean lead me purposefully into the street-lit walkway and into a crowded Asian-themed restaurant, which was packed to the seams with Muggles.

"Reservation for Locke," Sean told the hostess, who blushed at his easy smile and escorted us to our booth. Sean slid on the inside, while Lily and Duncan appeared, looking chilled.

"It's _cold _out there." Lily complained as the hostess handed us each a menu.

"It is winter, Lil," I told her sarcastically as I glanced at the menu. "Tofu pad thai, you said?"

"You'll love it." Sean promised.

The waitress materialized out of the crowd, smiling down at Duncan and positively beaming at Sean. "How are you all doing tonight?"

"Very well." Lily replied heartily. "How are you?"

"Busy," the young waitress admitted, laughing easily. "What can I get you all to drink?"

"Four waters, please," Lily said.

"Order whatever you want," Sean insisted. "It's on me, guys."

"Sean." I protested.

"You do realize the fat starting bonus they gave me in addition to the contract I have, right?" Sean teased me.

"Oh." I said stupidly. "Right. In that case, I'll have an iced tea. No sugar, please."

"Gilly water." Lily said.

"I'm sorry, what?" The Muggle waitress looked confused. Lily blushed and said, "Club soda."

"Two lagers for us," Duncan said, nodding to Sean.

"ID?" The waitress asked.

I noticed Sean do a casual flick of his wand underneath the table, and the waitress blinked, a blank look on her face. "Oh. I see. Of course. I'll be right back with your drinks." She left.

"You used a Confundus Charm?" I asked Sean.

"We don't have Muggle ID cards, now do we?" He replied, stowing his wand. "Gilly water, Lily? Merlin's beard."

"Hey, I forgot!" Lily retorted. "This place feels like The Three Broomsticks."

"Which is why we love it." Duncan said happily. The waitress returned surprisingly quickly with our beverages and took our food orders. We all talked about Hogwarts, Duncan and Sean reminiscing fondly and asking us about what we planned to do after we graduated in three years. Lily was set on succeeding Slughorn as Potions teacher. I, however, was oddly torn.

"Well," I said uncertainly as I downed my third glass of iced tea, "I _love _playing Quidditch, don't get me wrong. But I also really like working with magical creatures. I've been thinking about maybe dragonology or doing what Kettleburn does. I don't know if I'm much of a teacher, but there must be other jobs in the magizoology department."

The table looked startled. "Dragons?" Lily repeated, stunned. "_Dragons?_"

I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. I didn't like being the focus of attention. "Well, yeah. I like them. There's just something about them, you know? Professor Smith showed me a colony of them once, and I never forgot it. I just like them, like how some people like horses. I don't know."

"Dragons are very dangerous." Sean warned. "Dragon keepers die all the time in their work."

"I'm not worried about death." I told him honestly. "Life is short. We never know how long we have. Who knows… we could be killed by Death Eaters tonight after we leave this restaurant. Or we could live well past one-hundred years old. You don't know. I intend on living my life to the fullest. I don't know when or how I'll die, but you can bet I won't hold myself back for it." I bit my lip, thinking of Virginia and Angelina, of all of the time they'd had that been cut short. Death didn't discriminate based on age. "If I end up dying young, that's how I'll go. But I'm not going to play my life safe. I'm going to live it."

Lily whistled. Duncan cleared his throat awkwardly and downed his entire lager. Sean was watching me with an odd look on his face.

"Amber Harkstone, always the life of the party," Lily said loudly, chuckling. "Always around to add that little dose of impending mortality."

I laughed, unabashed. "Life is short, Lily. I'm not going to waste it. If I want to work with dragons, I'm going to do it. Just like how Duncan and Sean play Quidditch. Besides, Quidditch isn't exactly a safe occupation, either. How many broken bones and concussions have you had, boys?"

That launched Duncan and Sean into a heated discussion about Quidditch and its own dangers until the waitress came back with our food. There was silence for a few minutes, broken only by the slurping of noodles and the gentle clink of chopsticks against porcelain. When the bowls were empty, the waitress came back and offered us desserts.

"I'm full, but thank you." I said, fanning at my face. Sean had had to eat the other half of my noodles. Lily, on the other hand, had helped herself to Duncan's plate when she had finished her bowl of spicy curry.

"I'd love a slice of chocolate cheesecake," Sean said heartily. "Thank you."

"Funny thing, that glass of beer," the waitress said vaguely as she studied Sean's full glass tankard of amber liquid. "I can't remember refilling it, but it's always got more in it when I come back to check on you lot. Almost like magic. Funny, huh?"

The four of us laughed nervously. "Funny," Lily echoed, laughing a little too much. The waitress frowned and then shrugged. "I guess I should get more sleep. I'll be back with your cheesecake and your brownie sundae."

"Anyway," Sean said, as he had been telling a joke about pixies and cats before the waitress had come back, "are you ladies hearing much about what's going on outside of school lately?"

"Oh yes," Lily said seriously, nodding at me. "Amber and I have both taken out subscriptions to the Daily Prophet. We want to stay informed about what's going on with You-Know-Who and his lot."

"That's smart." Duncan said approvingly, lifting his glass, "I tell you what, mates: the world's a lot scarier right now than it was when I first left Hogwarts. Back then, it was all sunshine and daisies. But now we've got these so-called Death Eaters and Lord You-Know-Who."

"You were in Slytherin, right?" Lily asked, without a trace of animosity.

"Yeah. Old Sluggy was still teaching when I was there, too. He and Dumbledore went to school together back in the day, and I wouldn't be surprised if they're both over a hundred now. Anyway, when I first left, there was all of this talk about how good things were going. The Wizarding World was enjoying some really good times. The Harmonic Era just ending, and I'm sure two smart ladies like yourselves know why?"

"Duh." Lily snorted. "Amber and I are top students. We're the only ones aside from Remus who listen to Professor Binns. He told us all about the Harmonic Era last month. Everything was improving really quickly. Art, culture, and society was changing for the better and the economy was doing really well. Not just in Britain, but in lots of countries in the Wizarding World. Kind of like the Roaring Twenties in the States."

"And you know why, right?" asked Duncan, eyeing her over his glass of beer. "There's a reason why we were doing so well."

"Because Grindelwald and Dumbledore had a duel in 1945," I interjected. "Dumbledore won. And Grindelwald was put in his own prison, Nurmengard. It ended the Global Wizarding War."

"Right you are, Amber." Duncan said appreciatively. "And after that, I guess the world thought we were safe from the Dark Arts." His eyes darkened. "But we were wrong."

A hush fell over our table. Sean was staring down at the table, a distant look in his eyes. I thought of Folsom, of the Slytherin boys, of Severus. Lily twirled a lock of her hair absently around one finger.

"I don't know what's coming," Duncan said quietly, pursing his lips. "But I think another war's coming. That's what I reckon, at least."  
"He's recruiting, isn't he?" I asked the table at large. "Lord… Vol… Voldemort." There was a collective wince from the others, but I remembered what Professor Smith had told me and refused to take back what I'd said. "The train ride to Hogwarts on the first of September, Avery and his pals tried to convince me to join their side. They said it was to make wizards rule over the Muggles. Come out of hiding, back into our rightful place. But it's all a lie. Professor Smith said that Lord Voldemort wants to control everything. He wants to the Master of everyone." I thought of Regulus and Severus. "He tricks, lies, and blackmails people into following him. I think you're right, Duncan. A war _is _coming. But there's nothing we can do about it. Not yet, at least."

"But _we _can." Duncan said robustly, slamming his tankard on the table top and startling Sean, who flinched. "We can spread the word against him and fight. We don't have to sit back and be bystanders. Right, Sean?"

"Right." Sean said in a dull voice. He was looking paler than normal, and there was an odd look on his face. Was it fear? Or nausea?

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked him, concerned. "You don't look so well."

"I'm not feeling that well, to be honest." Sean said quietly. "I think I should go."

"Are you sick?" Lily asked. "Was it something you ate?"

Sean nodded. "I think so. Amber, shall I walk you home?"

I glanced at Lily, who nodded vigorously at me, grinning. Sean couldn't see her since he was looking at me.

"Uh… sure? If you're up for it. I might be the one who should walk _you _home."

Sean gave a half-smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Fair enough." He left a stack of money on the table and nodded to Duncan and Lily. "Make sure she gets home safely, alright? And Duncan, she's got a boyfriend. Don't try anything sneaky."

Duncan's eyes twinkled merrily. "With a Gryffindor? Never."

"Oh!" Lily said, laughing. "I just realized! We have a member of each House sitting here. Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw."

I gave her a wry smile. "I'll see you back at the resort, Lily. We won't be out long."

Duncan waved. "We might do some night skiing, if that's alright with you two. See you later, Sean. It was very nice to meet you, Amber." He took my hand and kissed it. "I hope you'll come to one of Seany's games. And try to be more careful on the slopes"

Blushing, I pulled my hand away and put Sean's coat back on. "It was nice meeting you, Duncan. Bye, guys."

"Bye!" Lily bade, waving happily, before returning to debate with Duncan about history. Sean and I slipped through the throng of diners still waiting to be sat. Clearly, Doc Chey's was an extremely popular eatery.

"Are you alright?" I asked Sean as we exited into the cold night air. "You look sick."

A muscle jerked in Sean's cheek as he stared blankly across the street. "Can we talk?"

My stomach plummeted. Palms sweating, I nodded. "Sure. Are we going to walk, or do you want to go sit down somewhere private?"

"It doesn't matter. Maybe walking will help me feel better."

"Aren't you cold?" I asked as we started down the nearly-empty streets. They were lit softly by lanterns and twinkle lights, and I felt warmer than I had in the summer as I studied the profile of Sean's face.

"Not really. I feel really warm. I'll conjure another jacket if I need to." Sean said as we traipsed past lit window of closed shops. Bookstores, cafes, frame shops, jewelry stores…

"This reminds me of home." I said happily as I looked into the windows every few stores. "And Hogsmeade."

"You really like school, then?" Sean asked.

"I love learning. And I love Hogwarts. Most of the time."

"What about the other part of the time?"

I told him about my struggles with anxiety, the workload of the fourth-year level, Quidditch, and finding time for friends. I left out the part about visions and the necklace, remembering Professor Smith and Professor Dumbledore's warning to keep it between only us.

"Anyway," I said after a long monologue, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

Sean let out his breath in a silver cloud. We had arrived at a train platform, which was vacant. A single bright light glowed underneath the roof, providing some shelter from the light snow that fell. "I have to tell you something."

I swallowed hard, sensing something big impending. "What is it?" I said carefully.

Sean jammed his hands in his pockets, not looking at me. His gaze was fixed on the train tracks just outside the realm of light. "I was approached by a man a few months ago, a week after the Hufflepuff Games. A man in the Ministry of Magic. He's a sympathizer with the Dark Lord. He said he knew your dad, worked with him in the Department of Mysteries. He said he knew you and I were close. He told me that if I wanted to protect you, I should join up with him. Help the Dark Lord overthrow the Ministry. Help make sure you'd be safe from danger."

The excitement I'd originally felt at his words had dissolved into a quagmire of horror and fear. "What?" was all I could whisper.

Sean looked green, like he was about to be sick. He dragged a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "Amber, I was so tempted to join… I was so tempted to join the Dark side. To follow Lord Voldemort. To _protect _you." He looked at me now, raw pain in his gray eyes. "I almost said yes. I almost gave in."

"_Why_?" I asked, my throat tight. "How could you almost say yes, Sean? They're _evil_. Look at what they did to Platform 9 ¾'s last year! Look at the Hufflepuff Games!" Tears spilled over down my cheeks. "Look at what Mulciber made me to to Angelina!"  
Sean froze. "What did he make you do?"

I clutched at his jacket, pulling it tighter around myself. "He put me under the Imperius Curse. He made me _kill _her."

Sean was whiter than the snow falling. He covered his face with his hands, the tumultuous emotions exposed on his face. "Amber…"

"You can't ever say yes to them, Sean!" I half-shouted, my voice strangled. "They'll lie to deceive you! They steal, kill, and destroy! You honestly think that the people Folsom and Mulciber are with will _protect _me? Will make you keep me safe?" I gave a bitter laugh. "You can't ever listen to them, Sean. They're liars. You'll only find death with them."

Sean looked at me hopelessly, his eyes haunted. "Amber, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Mean what?" I demanded hotly. "Don't give me that, Sean. You know what that side does and what they support! _Who _they support! I thought you were smart. I thought you were my friend."

Sean looked tortured. "It's not just me… they came for my cousin, too. Mara. And I don't know if she's with them or acting as spy. She's always been an excellent liar and had the best poker face. She says she's not with them, but I can't tell…"

I shook my head, remembering Professor Smith's words. _You'll have your time to fight… it's not your job to solve the world's problems… leave Mara to me… I was once a Death Eater… one of my biggest regrets… I believe I did great damage… I feel like I haven't yet atoned for what I've done…_

Sean spread his hands imploringly, and I saw tears in his eyes. "I feel like I'm going crazy, Amber. Ever since I met you, I've been drawn to you. At first, it was just as a friend and mentor. But as you've grown up and become strong and independent, I started seeing you as the young woman you are. I _love _you, Amber. I want to protect you from the evil out there in the best way I can. Remus can't protect you. He's a danger himself. He's a werewolf."

"_Stop _saying that!" I yelled. "Remus isn't dangerous! He's my friend!"  
"But not your boyfriend." Sean retorted. "Amber, can't you see how much I love you? What I'd do for you? Why do you keep stringing me along? Why do you keep running away from me?"

"Because I love Remus too!" I finally exploded, throwing the jacket off in my confused fury. "Because I don't know what I want!"

"Let me help you find out." Sean begged. "This is the last time I'll ask you, Amber. I won't bother you again with my feelings if you don't want to do this. Will you go out with me? Will you be my girlfriend?"

I stared at him, my heart pounding frantically in my chest. I was torn, so torn, between running into his arms and running away from here and all the way to Remus. But I knew what would happen if I chose the latter; it was a dead-end street. Remus, no matter how things were right now, refused to enter into a relationship with me. He refused to act on his feelings, or mine. He didn't want to be with me. He claimed it was to protect me. And Sean claimed that nearly joining the Death Eaters was to protect me, too.

I was getting awfully tired of boys trying to protect me.

"I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself." I muttered, and Sean blinked in confusion.

"What?" He asked, his vulnerability breaking my heart.

I stared into his familiar face, his open, honest, sincere eyes. He was everything my parents wanted for me. Handsome, smart, driven, ambitious, protective to a fault. Honest. Loyal. Hufflepuff. A Quidditch player.

So why did I still feel so guilty about this? Like I was cheating on Remus?

_I'm _not _with him! _I screamed at myself inwardly. _He is not my boyfriend. I have to get on with my life. I love Sean, too, but is it wrong to be with him when I still have feelings for Remus?_

And the answer came to me, unbidden, from a voice other than my own, but one that had been with me since birth: **Live your life. It's short. Don't hold back.**

"Amber, I love you." Sean repeated, stepping closer. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

I stared at him, the coldness of my fury ebbing away into a warm, melting heat that spread from my heart to my fingers and toes. A smile twitched on my lips. I let myself picture Remus in my mind one final time, before exhaling him and my dreams for him through my mouth. _I'm sorry, Remus. But I have to live my life. Even if that means we won't be together as a couple._

"Yes." I said at last.

Sean's face changed. His expression of mingled fear and hope cleared into an awed, humbled gape. I smiled wider, the anger gone now, replaced by nothing by a stunned comprehension.

_Sean is my boyfriend. Sean Locke is my _boyfriend!  
"You will?" He asked, stunned.

I laughed, a bubbly, nervous giggle. "Yes."

Sean crossed the distance between us, and the next thing I knew, I was wrapped-up in his strong arms, crushed to his broad chest. He spun around a few times, then placed me back on the ground. For the first time, I noticed just how tall he was. He looked down at me with a look of intent that I was not ready for.

"I think I'd like to try skiing again." I told him brightly as I picked up his jacket, putting it back on. My head was light, and I felt like I was walking on stars. Dizzy on the swirling emotions, I grinned stupidly at him. "I'm sorry, I feel like I'm drunk or something."

"Have you ever _been _drunk?" Sean laughed, slipping his large hand into mine. My heart leaped as his fingers filled the spaces between mine, a perfect fit. For a moment, I saw Remus' hand in it instead, but pushed it away firmly. He had chosen this. Now, it was my turn to choose. And I had.

"No." I told him firmly, as we walked away from the platform and back towards the town. "I'm a good girl. I won't lock you out anymore, Sean. Consider yourself un-Locked."

Sean burst out laughing. "Thanks for not 'locke-ing' me out."

I rolled my eyes. "I can't believe you find my sense of humor appealing."

"That's one of the things I love about you." Sean said warmly. "I'll Apparate us back to the resort, and we can work on your skiing. I'm a good teacher."

"So I've been told." I teased. "Oh, and Sean?"

Sean raised a brow.

"I love you, too."

Sean grinned, and again I had the fleeting impression that he was going to kiss me. But instead, he said, "Good. Because I've wanted to hear you say that for a long time. Ready?"

Again, I thought of Remus. The dreams I had of us doing what Sean and I were doing right now clawed at my heart, peppering me with small darts of grief for what we had lost. But this was life, and it was painfully short. Virginia hadn't even held a boy's hand before she'd died. And Angelina had never heard a boy tell her he loved her. Remus.

I closed my eyes briefly. Remus had been with Angelina. Now, it was my turn to step into the unknown realm of romance. Part of me knew I should have let go of my dreams with Remus right then and there in that snowy platform. Like letting go of balloons, I should have released them into the sky, never to be seen again. But instead, I folded them up like winter clothes as summer arrived, tucking them away in a wardrobe in hopes of taking them out again someday. I couldn't let go of my Remus, but I couldn't waste my life waiting on him, either.

"I'm ready." I told Sean, smiling up at him. A moment later, the blackness enveloped us, as we were sucked away in a vortex of compression, color, and sound.


	64. Vampires and Werewolves

**Whew. I knew that the previous chapter wasn't going to popular, and I appreciated the brutally honest reviews that you all gave. Life is all about choices, and that holds true even in the fictional worlds in literature. I'm not one to spoil things, but I will just say: people (characters) make mistakes, and young/first relationships rarely last all the way to marriage. I'm aware that there's things in the story that aren't going to be well-received or popular, but I'm going to stay true to the characters and the story. Should have done my research a bit more on the characters and timelines, but thankfully it's fanfiction and not published work! Ayeeeeee. I've had the ending of this story and major events planned out almost since I started the story, so I hope that if you've stuck with it this long, you'll hang in there and see what happens after this! Much love to all and merry christmas! Still going to try to get this finished ASAP. Happy Holidays and thank you for your reviews, feedback, follows, and faves :) You guys rock!  
PS. Andromeda is NOT Tonks.. Nyphadora Tonks is her daughter and she is not included in this chapter. It's her mother, Andromeda, sister of Narcissa and Bellatrix. :)**

* * *

By the time I returned to the hotel room, it was well-past midnight. Lily was waiting for me on her bed, her arms crossed, her face enigmatic.

"Well?" She pressed. "What happened? I came back here and you weren't waiting."

I stripped off my jacket and gloves. I was frozen to the core, chilled, but strangely warm. "Sean is my boyfriend now."

Lily stared at me. "I'm sorry, what?"

I grinned. "Sean asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes."

Lily's face was oddly expressionless. "Oh."

A cold trickle spread down my spine. "What's that mean? 'Oh'?"

Lily shook her head, looking at me as if she was seeing me for the first time. "_Oh._"

I felt myself bristling in defense. "What? Can you please tell me what you're actually feeling rather than just saying that?"

Lily got up and paced. It was making me nervous, chasing away the good feelings I had had all evening with Sean. He had stayed with me on the bunny slope for an hour until I was ready to tackle the green run, which I had subsequently mastered.

"I thought…" Lily trailed off, biting her lip. "You chose _Sean?_"

I frowned. "Yes. It would appear that way."

Lily twisted her hands. "But, Amber… you and Remus…?"

"Remus and I aren't together." I said firmly. "He can date whoever he wants. So can I."

"So you're getting revenge? Is that what this is?" Lily demanded, and I surprised at the anger in her voice.

"Lily!" I protested. "Why can't you be happy for me? Sean's a good guy."

"Yes, he is, Amber. But I don't think he's good for you. You and Remus are a perfect match!"

I stared at her in disbelief. "You were the one who told me to date other people! Like Sean!" I retorted. "You were the one who said I should move on with my life!"

"I know, but still!" Lily aggressively unpacked her suitcase. "I thought you and Remus would get together. Not you and Sean! There's just something about him tonight that feels _off. _You know? I don't know what it is, but there's something about him that isn't right! Don't tell me you didn't feel it too."

"Honestly, it was hard for me to feel much of anything other than love." I spat. "Thanks for ruining my night."

Lily glared at me. "You're going to break Remus' heart, Amber. He _loves _you."

I threw my hands up in the air, completely sour now. "I can't win, can I? I waited for Remus, but he wouldn't go out with me! I even kissed him and he didn't do anything! And now I finally move on from him and this is what I get?"

"I don't know, Amber!" Lily half-shouted at me. "I'm telling you! Something isn't right with Sean! I don't think you should be close to him. Let alone _date _him."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this." I exclaimed. "Especially from _you!_"

"I can't believe _you!_" Lily shot back. "I'm trying to warn you that you shouldn't do this, but you aren't listening! You belong with Remus!"

I felt an inexplicable sense of dread at her words. I remembered hearing Sean's words about the Death Eaters and my own love for Remus, which I knew I would never be rid of. For a moment, I felt a horrible sense of despair curling in the pit of my stomach. What if I had just made a huge mistake in saying yes to Sean? What if I was supposed to wait for Remus?

Or more importantly, just say no to both boys?

"Lily," I said in a trembling voice, "I _need _this. I have to date other people. I can't wait around on Remus to change his mind. Maybe this will help me see if he's the right person for me or not."

Lily shook her head again, her face in complete disbelief. "I can't believe this. You aren't even listening to me! It's not that you're dating someone other than Remus (even though I think that's a huge problem). It's the fact that Sean is clearly hiding something from you."

"I don't believe you." I said reflexively. "I'm finally in a relationship, and you react like this. Thanks for nothing."

"I'm your sister!" Lily reminded me hotly as I snatched my pajamas and changed in the adjoining bathroom. "I'm trying to help you realize that maybe you made a decision based on feelings rather than fact. Amber, Remus _loves _you! And I _know _you love him."

Tears blurred my vision as I scrubbed harshly at my teeth with my toothbrush. I spat in the sink and rinsed out my mouth, all the butterflies with Sean now vanquished. "I can't do this anymore, Lily. I love Remus, but I'm not going to wait for him for the rest of my life."

Lily tossed her hands up in the air. "Fine, Amber. I was going to tell you what he's told me about you, just to change your mind, but you know what? I don't think you deserve to hear it. You just tore his heart out and threw it around the room like a Quaffle. I'm going to bed."

I stared at her, mouth agape. "You are such a hypocrite!" I raged. "Sean is my boyfriend! It's not like we're married! Lily!"

But Lily had laid down in her bed and presented her back to me. She was completely ignoring me now.

Furious, hurt, and confused, I stormed out of the room, being sure to slam the door behind him on my way out. I stomped down to the lobby, wishing I could call my parents to come collect me early. But it was nearly one in the morning, and I knew that even if they would come, it would be three hours of waiting for them. And then they'd ask questions I especially didn't want to answer.

I threw myself down on the worn couch, arms folded tightly. I struggled hard not to break down and cry. I was so confused. Hadn't I done the right thing? Was Lily right? What was Sean hiding? How come Remus hadn't made a move sooner? Why was it okay for him to date Angelina, but me not to date Sean?

"It's so unfair." I said angrily to the empty lobby. The lights were very dim, only the flickering firelight in the hearth. I stared at it until the racing drumbeat of my heart slowed down. The flames were hypnotizing me, drawing me into a relaxed stupor. I closed my eyes for a moment, drowsy. The warmth lulled me into a haze not unlike the dreamy state of the Imperius Curse, and I found myself drifting to sleep, anger at Lily temporarily forgotten.

* * *

A warm, soft breeze played across my face, carrying with the scents of lake water, mown grass, and pine trees. I opened my eyes. The greenery of trees told me it was summertime again, and as I sat up, I realized I was underneath the beech tree by the lake. It was young and hardly more than a sapling, somewhat of a teenager. The sky was a fiery orange and red, a crimson sunset staining the clouds as it set behind the black silhouette of tall mountains. Not far away, a great castle glimmered with the lights of thousands of candles. Hogwarts.

Struggling to get up, I made my way over to the lake and looked down. I was startled when I saw the reflection. A girl with pale blonde, almost white hair in a loose braid, her eyes strikingly bright blue. I had been this person before. This time, I knew her name.

Sapphira Peverell.

I touched my chest, but there was no necklace there this time. I was wearing a pale gray tunic-like dress that bespoke of a different time period and era. I knew that once again, I was back in the early days of Hogwarts, a thousand years ago.

I looked around, unsure if I was alone or not. I had the uneasy sense that I was being watched. The fiery sunset was fading to an indigo-navy twilight, but the air remained heavy and warm. The sound of crickets and cicadas filled my ears as I walked back towards the castle, drawn to it like a ship to a lighthouse.

But before I could take more than a few steps, a dark shape materialized in front of me. A tall, dark stranger loomed before me, towering overhead. Its scarlet-red eyes burned like hot coals in the gathering darkness, and I felt a sense of impending doom as I braced myself for whatever came.

"I heard," said the low, deep voice that resonated familiarly with me, "that you and a certain Ravenclaw are courting."

I blinked up at the stranger, unnerved. His fury emanated like heat thrown from a fiery furnace. "I beg your pardon?" I said, going along to see what the matter was. In a way, I knew I was dreaming, and therefore, safe. But another part of me warned that this wasn't just a dream. It was more than that.

It was another vision.

"Don't play dumb with me, girl." The man growled, and as the full moon broke over the mountains and spilled milky light onto us, I drew in a gasp.

"Professor Salvatore Slytherin." I recognized, my hand covering my mouth.

Professor Slytherin barked a cruel laugh. "Oh, so you're going to act foolish now, are you? Look at me! Why are you calling me that? You haven't called me that in ages."

"I don't… I'm sorry." I said slowly, trying to look innocent.

Professor Slytherin swore as he peered closely at me, his nostrils flared. He looked vaguely familiar, but I wasn't sure why. "Tell me." He said in a tone dripping with sarcastic venom. "Why is there a rumor floating around the castle that you and Magnus Wood are courting?"

I almost said, _Who? _But instead I shrugged.

Professor Slytherin swore again, more colorfully this time. "I cannot believe this. I suppose this is what happens when I trust a foolish girl with my heart. She feasts upon it!"

"I would if your heart still beat!" I shot back, not sure where the words came from. "You have no heartbeat, _Professor_, and I can court whomever I please!"

Professor Slytherin advanced, grabbing my arm, his blood-red eyes hot with emotion. His hand was as cold as ice. "Sapphira," he said, his tone oddly desperate, "please. Don't do this."

I stared at him in complete surprise. "Do _what_?"

Professor Slytherin looked as helpless as I'd felt when I learned about Remus and Angelina's relationship. "You… you have my heart. I trusted you not to break it. And now…" his grip tightened. "I _love _you, Sapphira."

My heart hammered. I noticed that there was no pulse visible in his throat. Slowly, I reached out and touched his chest. There was no heartbeat.

"I waited for you," I said, again not sure where the words were coming from. I felt like I was speaking to Remus now, not Professor Slytherin. "I told you my feelings for you, and you acted like it didn't matter. You said it was too dangerous."

"I take it all back." Professor Slytherin said hoarsely. "Please, Sapphira. I love you. I love you so much I can't stand it. You make me feel alive again. I need you."

"Do you promise to never leave me?" I asked. "To remain loyal to me alone? To be mine, through whatever this life may throw at us?"

"I do." Professor Slytherin promised, kissing my hands. "My love, I will stand beside you your entire life. Don't do this. Be mine. Be my love. Say you love me, too."

"I love you." I said.

"Say my name, beloved." Professor Slytherin begged. "Say my name."

"I love you, Dusk." The name came to me as if I'd always known it.

Professor Slytherin relaxed visibly. "I love you."

"I love you, Remus." I said, and Professor Slytherin materialized into the werewolf I loved.

"Beware the moon." Remus said in a robotic voice, and my eyes snapped open.

The faint hues of dawn were appearing in the dark sky as I jerked awake on the couch. I had fallen asleep and evidently dreamt of something peculiar that had happened in the past. I felt sick with guilt; how could I be with Sean, when I loved Remus still?

I rubbed my face, trying to ward off the disturbing scene I had just witnessed. It appeared that seventeen-year-old Sapphira had had a relationship with her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Salvatore Slytherin, who was called 'Dusk'. Even more disturbing, Professor Slytherin was a vampire.

We had learned all of the signs of a vampire in our third year, and I had personal experience with vampires, considering I had one who promised to one day kill me. Professor Salvatore Slytherin, the grandson of one of the four Hogwarts founders, Salazar Slytherin, was a vampire. And by the looks of him, he had become one in his early to mid twenties.

Professor Smith had warned me not to go looking for answers to my questions. Professor Dumbledore had taken my necklace to further investigate its magical properties. But now, my visions were back. Without the necklace. To add insult to injury, I was now dreaming of my love for Remus, just mere hours after I'd said yes to being Sean's girlfriend.

I hunched over, my hands digging into my scalp. _What do I do? Do I call it off with Sean already? What did Lily mean about him hiding something? Should I stay with him to find out where this takes us? Am I wrong to do this, even though Remus dated Angelina when he had feelings for me?_

I was so confused. Just a few hours ago, I had felt so happy. Happier than I'd felt in a long time. But now, all of those joyful sensations had morphed into waves of dread and uncertainty. It wasn't like Sean had proposed. We were just dating now, that was all.

_If Remus could date someone else, then I can too. _I thought, pushing away the nagging guilt as I rose to my feet and gazed out the window. The huge moon hung in the clear sky, which was fading from periwinkle blue to lavender. Varying shades of navy and indigo bled into the approaching dawn from the dark side of the sky as my breath fogged the cold glass. I wanted so badly to ignore the warning of Professor Smith and chase after my answers, but she was right: I was only fourteen. I had to get my education first, before I could have the foundation to tackle those questions.

But I had to talk to her about my visions. If nothing else, I wanted her to know about them. I wished Soren was here, but settled instead for selecting a random book from one of the bookshelves in the den and settling back on the warm couch. It was a Muggle book, _MacBeth. _Still half-awake, I began to read the old novel, nearly drifting back to sleep as I turned each page. It was easy to get lost in the world Shakespeare had created, to sympathize with Lady MacBeth's sleepwalking and her prevalent nightmares. Just before I had finished the play, Lily sat down on the stuffy armchair across from me.

I looked up at her and continued reading.

"I want to talk to you." Lily said. She was still in her pajamas, her hair tousled from sleep and her voice slightly gruff. "I couldn't sleep well last night. I kept feeling like we needed to talk. I don't like going to bed angry with anyone."

I flipped a page loudly.

"Come on, Amber." Lily said irritably. "Grow up."

I gave her a measured look. "I'm sorry, is this your way of apologizing for last night? Because your apology sucks."

Lily rolled her eyes, striving for patience. "Look, I'm not sorry for telling you the truth. I'm your sister. I'm going to be honest with you, even if you don't like it."

"You don't think you overreacted just a little bit?" I shot back, slamming the book shut and tossing it on the rugged coffee table between us. "You really hurt me, Lily."

Lily sighed. "I'm sorry, alright? I didn't want to hurt your feelings or spoil your mood. But my gut tells me something's not right about this. Don't tell me you don't feel it, too."

"I did, at first," I admitted. "But I don't feel it anymore. I think I was just being paranoid. I have that annoying habit sometimes."

"But Amber, you don't." Lily said urgently, dropping her voice to a low, conspiracy tone. "You have visions. You can see things in the past and the future. Your sense of intuition isn't just paranoia or anxiety. I think it's highly sensitive. You should listen to it."

I bit my lip. "I'm not a Seer, Lily. I don't understand these visions at all, but most of the time they only happen when I'm dreaming." I hesitated, then told her about my odd dream. "I'm not wearing my necklace and they still happen."

"Are you sure you _aren't _a Seer?" Lily asked dubiously. "That sounds like Madam Cheek."

I shrugged. "Madam Cheek said I wasn't on the list of named Seers in the Department of Mysteries."

Lily's green eyes widened. "She _told _you that? I thought she was bound by confidentiality or something like that. That's serious, Amber. She shouldn't be telling you stuff like that."

"I know." I said darkly. "Even Dad can't talk about his work with us. I don't think Mum is allowed to know either. I don't know what these visions mean, but they're getting more intense. They feel real. It's confusing."

Lily looked troubled. "Maybe you should write a letter to Professor Smith. Just tell her what's been going on."

"I will." I said. "She told me not to worry about stuff like this, but it's so hard. I don't understand. And now I've got a boyfriend, to top it all off."

"Welcome to the club." Lily said half-heartedly. She frowned, leaning forward, clasping her hands between her knees. "Amber, are you sure you want to do this with Sean? I know how much you and Remus love each other. And I won't take back what I said about Sean. There's just something _off _about him."

"Lily." I said in a firm tone. "I appreciate your warning, but I want to be Sean right now. He's not a consolation prize. I _love _him."

"But you love Remus more." Lily added quietly.

I closed my eyes, breathing out loudly. "But we can't be together right now. I don't know, Lily. Maybe this will push him into realizing how _stupid _his rule is. I can't sit around like a fool, waiting for him to change his mind. I have to move on with my life."

Lily sighed, coming to sit beside me on the warm couch. "Alright. I still think you're going to marry Remus."

A wry smile spread across my face. "Are you placing a bet?"

"I might. I could start calling you Mrs. Lupin."

I barked a laugh. "Only if you don't mind me calling you Mrs. Potter."

Lily jerked back, her mouth dropping open. "_What_?" She gasped, her face dark pink. "No! What about Mrs. Harkstone?"

"That's my mother." I reminded her. "James has got it for you, Lily. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave Harry a good run for his money."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. The only way I'd ever go out with James Potter (let alone _marry _the toerag) is if he deflated his huge head. He's such a jerk, Amber."

"People change." I said. "Are we okay?"

Lily hugged me, crushing my ribs. "Of course we are, stupid. Wanna get some breakfast and hit the slopes?"

"Sure. Don't be mad if Sean joins us."

Lily grinned slyly. "I'll try not to hex him for moving onto my other best friends' girl. But alright."

"Thanks, Lily." I hugged her, thankful we were once again on good terms. "Also, don't kill my boyfriend, because he's on his way over right now."

A moment later, Sean appeared, dropping onto the couch, squeezing us together like an over-packed can of flobberworms. "Good morning, ladies." He said grandly, kissing my cheek. A warm feeling spread inside of me. I giggled as Lily made a face.

"I hope I have your approval, Lily," Sean said humbly as he met her gaze.

Lily drew herself up regally as Sean put his arm around me, drawing me against his solid body heat. "Well, you still need to pass the interview." She said coolly.

"Can I take it after I treat you two beautiful ladies to breakfast?" He asked charmingly.

A tiny smile twitched at Lily's lips. "I suppose so."

"Good. Because a certain Harry Harkstone is going to meet the three of us in ten minutes at the cafe next door."

Lily gasped. "Alright, you pass." She said fervently as she jumped to her feet. "I'll be back! I need to get ready. You too, Amber."

I rolled my eyes as she dragged me to my feet. I felt cold without Sean beside me. "We'll be back."

Sean smiled warmly. "I'll be right here waiting."

* * *

The rest of Christmas break passed quickly. I didn't have anymore visions, neither day or night, and found myself well-rested and happier than I'd ever remembered. Sean had bade me farewell at the resort the day after we'd had breakfast with Lily and Harry, and promised to write me owls as often as he could.

"I'll come visit you during your next Hogsmeade weekend." He promised, holding my hands in the cold air before I unwillingly slipped into the station wagon. "And then we'll have all of summer break together."

My heart fluttered as I remembered how he'd tried to kiss me, but I'd turned my face so he'd landed on my cheek. Still, I couldn't bring myself to kiss anyone on the mouth other than Remus. I wasn't ready yet.

After I'd arrived back at the house in Bellinghall, I had written Sean so often that our house was like a rest home for owls. Every hour, it seemed, there was more post so that Sean and I could talk. Soren was so tired of flying that I had to use Dad's Ministry-trained snowy owl to double-up with the sudden spike in post.

Now, I stood on the platform in Bellinghall with my family. The Hogwarts Express was due to arrive any moment to take me back to school for the next five months.

"Remember," Mum said in a voice full of warning as she clutched Naomi's hand, "just because you have a boyfriend now doesn't mean you aren't still bound by our rules. You might live at Hogwarts most of the year, but you're still underage and still our daughter. You understand?"

I rolled my eyes. "_Yes, _Mum. For the tenth time, _yes. _Besides," I gave her and Dad a sardonic look, "I'm sure you two followed your parents' rules when _you _were at Hogwarts. Right?"

Mum and Dad looked embarrassed. "Actually," Dad said gruffly, "her parents didn't like me."

"They didn't think Walter would amount to anything." Mum said, beaming at Dad. "But I think after being a professional Quidditch player and working in the Ministry of Magic, having two wonderful kids, and fifteen years of marriage, I'd say we showed them."

I frowned at Mum. She had forgotten to count Virginia as her child, again. It was as if she was determined to forget that her middle child had ever existed. Before I could point this out, however, Dad kissed her fondly, his green eyes soft with affection. Naomi made a repulsed face. "Gross." She said, wrinkling her nose.

"I agree." I said, shuddering. "Gross."

"Oh, yeah," Naomi said sarcastically, "as if you and your boyfriend don't kiss."

"We don't, actually," I told her honestly. _Not yet, _I thought privately.

"I like this guy more and more." Dad said approvingly. "But I'm surprised. Your mother and I thought you'd pick that Lupin boy."

"Remus?" I said, arching a brow.

"Yeah. Lyall Lupin's boy."

"Well," I said with a rueful smile, "he didn't pick me."

Mum and Dad looked confused. "What do you mean?" Mum asked. "Did you ask him out?"

I sighed heavily. "I told him I had feelings for him, but he turned me down. A lot. So yeah, I guess I asked him out. But I'm with Sean now, and I'm happy."

"You don't _look _happy." Naomi said doubtfully.

"That's because I'm freezing, and I'm going to miss you for the next five months." I told her, hugging her again in the winter air. "You be good, alright?"

"I will." Naomi promised. "Hey, only a few more years until I get to go to Hogwarts!"

"That's right." I said. "When I start my seventh year, you'll be a first year."

"Virginia would have been a third year this year, right?" Naomi asked.

A flicker of pain crossed Dad's face. Mum, however, was watching the incoming crimson train and wasn't listening. "Yeah," I said quietly. "She would have."

"Give us one more big group hug." Dad insisted, pulling the four of us together in a tight, uncomfortable squeeze. Naomi and Mum squealed, while I rolled my eyes and fought for breath. When they released me, the train had rolled to a stop. Mum kissed me cheek, her blue eyes, so like Virginia's, shining.

"I'm happy for you, dear," she said in a thick voice, "you're doing so well. We're very proud of you."

I shifted on my feet, unsure of what to say. There was still so much history between us, good and bad, and I wasn't ready to get emotional with her right before my departure back to Hogwarts for the next half a year.

"Make good decisions!" Mum yelled as I boarded the train, waving at the three of them as the warmth of the train's interior enveloped me. I found an empty compartment and sat down, sighing heavily as the train picked up momentum and rolled away from Bellinghall's platform. I waved at my family as they passed my window. My throat felt tight as they disappeared around the bend. They were awkward, loud, and sometimes dysfunctional, but they were still my family. I would miss them over the next five months.

I had just picked up a book from my bag when the glass door to my compartment slid open and a boy came inside. My heart dropped into my stomach as Remus sat down on the seat opposite from me, his face unreadable.

"Hi, Remus," I said cautiously, putting the book down. "How was your holiday?"

Remus' gave a crooked smile. "It was alright. I didn't get what I wanted for Christmas, but maybe you had better luck."

I looked at him squarely. "Maybe I'll have better luck next Christmas." I said simply.

Remus nodded and clasped his hands. "Listen, Amber. I want to talk to you."

"About?" I asked, suddenly nervous. I swallowed hard.

"About that whole 'not dating' rule I had about us." Remus said, straightforward. My heart began to race. _Oh, no, no, no. _I thought, mortified. _Please, God. Not now. _

"I've been thinking a lot about it." He went on, his gaze trained on me. "I think I've been an idiot. I was so worried about hurting you, but then I realized that what I had with Angelina was completely hypocritical. I never felt the way about her that I feel about you. I don't think I'll ever feel this way about anyone else. You're my best friend, Amber. And more. I'm sorry I've been a coward. But I want you to know that you're really important to me. You're an amazing young woman, who has amazing faith, and you're so close to what you believe. You've shown me what it's like to sacrifice for others, and you've changed my life for the better. Honestly, if I hadn't spoken to you that day in Charms class back in our first year, I don't where I'd be. My life would be so much darker and boring without you."

"Remus." I said hoarsely.

"So," he said, taking a steadying breath, "I want you to know that even though you've got a crazy vampire after you, and visions, Death Eaters, dysfunctional family, and weird friends, you're the best person I've ever met. And I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to hide from what I feel for anymore. I don't think I can."

"Remus." I repeated, wishing I could use a Silencing Charm on him. "I need to tell you something."

"What?" Remus asked, leaning forward, his green eyes bright with the intensity of his feelings.

I hated myself, for what I was about to do to him, for what I had to do. I had to set him free, just like he'd to me last year. "Remus… I have a boyfriend."

Remus blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

My whole body began to tremble. I sat on my hands to hide how badly they were shaking. "Sean and I are seeing each other now. Exclusively."

For a moment, I thought Remus was going to burst into his werewolf form right then and there. His face paled to a ghastly white, then reddened, then drained to ash-gray. His green eyes turned tawny, and the scars on his face were more visible than ever. His hands clenched to fists in his lap, and he blinked several times, as if he was trying to get dust out of his eyes.

"You and Sean…?" He asked in a low voice.

I was so torn between them, wanting to comfort Remus and reciprocate his love, but loyal to Sean. And, worst of all, I wanted him to feel what I'd gone through when he'd been with Angelina instead of me. "I'm sorry, Remus."

Remus stood up abruptly, his face blazing. "Excuse me." He left the compartment without another word, not bothering to shut the compartment door.

I got up quietly and slid it closed, locking it so that no one else would enter. I drew down the shades and sat back down heavily on the seat. When I was sure I wouldn't be disturbed, I covered my face with my hands and gave into my pain.

* * *

Remus did not join me at the Ravenclaw table for dinner. I had expected this and tried my best not to feel bitter about his silent treatment. I watched him and the other Marauders from afar. Lily sat with me graciously, ignoring the looks of consternation from some of my other Housemates.

"Your eye is still pretty ugly," she informed me as she ate a slice of garlic bread with her spaghetti. I had barely touched my barley and mushroom soup.

"Thanks for that." I said dryly. I had checked my reflection the mirror only hours before, once I had dared to see how much crying had cost me. My eyes weren't as puffy and red as they'd been, but the bruise from the collision when I'd gone skiing was still ugly and green. It was fading now, but it looked like I had taken a punch just below the eye. And just as the medic had promised, I had a small scar on my cheek as a souvenir of the accident.

"You okay?" Lily asked. "You're hardly eating."

"I feel sick." I said honestly. I felt guilty over knowing I had caused Remus pain, and confusion over my decision. I wanted to date Sean, but to my dismay, my heart was still torn in two over both him and Remus. And I realized, with gnawing dread, that the bigger part clearly belonged to Remus.

"You know I'm always here to listen, if you need to talk." Lily said gently. "I'm sorry I blew up at you."

"I know, you told me." I responded glumly. Remus' back was turned to me. I felt an aching loss, but didn't know how to bridge the new gap between us. Sighing, I pushed away my hardly-touched dinner and got up. "I can't just sit here and mope. I'm going to the library."

"I'll come find you later." Lily said. "Cheer up. It'll be alright."

I gave her a half-smile and watched her pick up her food and migrate back to the Gryffindors. I left the Great Hall, my stomach twisted up and roiling with the power of the emotions inside of me. _Just take it one day at a time. _I thought, recalling Mum's old advice.

I had made it halfway to the library when something small and hard hit me in the back of the neck. I swore and turned around, wand out, ready for a fight. But it was only Peeves, who had a pack of chalk in his hands, another piece ready to fire at me.

"Look at Rocky, wandering the castle all by herself." He drawled. "Where's your friends? How come you're not eating like the others?"

"None of your business." I said flatly. "Go away."

"Oooooooh, so rude." Peeves chortled. "Fourth years are such a waste of skin."

"You should know." I snapped. "You were there for ten years."

Peeves burst out into cackling laughter. "The girlie's got some claws! Try this on for size!" He began pelting me with a storm of chalk. Covering my head with one arm, I raised my wand and pointed it at the poltergeist, shouting, "_Langlock!_" and the assault promptly ended. Peeves grabbed at his throat, unable to speak, since his tongued had just glued itself to the roof of his mouth. Waving a rude hand gesture, he zoomed off.

I made it into the library, glad that Madam Pince wasn't prowling the endless shelves of books. I selected _How to Be a Dragonologist _from the career section and chose a squashy armchair, delving into the book. It wasn't long, however, before I heard the sound of someone else in the otherwise silent library. Setting the book down carefully, I peeked around the corner of one bookshelf. But I didn't see anyone.

Frowning, I pulled my wand out and continued to read. I heard a chair scrape noisily. Jumping to my feet, I pressed against the bookshelf and looked around the corner again. Nothing.

I had the familiar and unpleasant sensation of being watched. Gripping the wand tighter, I whispered, "_Homenum revelio._"

An iridescent red orb of light flared like a miniature sun twenty feet away from me, near the Restricted Section. Heart pounding with adrenaline, I said, "_Accio Cloak!_"

Sure enough, there was a loud fluttering noise, and a moment later I caught James Potter's invisibility cloak in one hand. He stood, frozen, in a strange half-crouching position. The ignited tip of my wand reflected in his circular glasses, giving him the eerie look of a sightless ghost.

"James!" I said heavily, rolling my eyes. "Why am I _not _surprised?"

James regained his composure quickly, his eyes flashing. "So, I heard the good news. Congratulations on breaking Remus' heart."

"James, please." I said, shaking my head. "That's a forbidden subject."

"He really loves you, you know." James said in a tone of disbelief. "I've got no idea why, but he does. Why'd you have to go for a shallow pretty boy like Locke?"

"James." I repeated hotly. "It's none of your business who I date. Just let it go."

"Fine." James snapped. "For now. I'll see you around." He turned around and started to stalk away.

"Wait a minute." I said, blocking his path hastily. "Why were you trying to get into the Restricted Section?"

James glared at me balefully. "I'm not sure I should trust a traitor with that kind of information."

I shoved at him hard. "I never went back on the Vow I made with you. Or the others. My relationship status shouldn't affect my trustworthiness."

James rolled his eyes. "Alright, Harkstone. You're going down in the next Quidditch match, I hope you know."

"Oh, I'm _so _scared." I drawled sarcastically. "Seriously, James. What are you doing here?"

"It involves Snivellus, if you must know." He said shortly. "That little worm needs to be put in his place. Once and for all."

"Why?" I demanded. "He isn't bothering you. Leave him alone."

"Why? Does he have a thing for Evans?" When I didn't cover my shocked expression fast enough, James's eyes widened. "I _knew _it! That little weasel. And he's with the Death Eaters, isn't he?"

"James," I began, but James carried on angrily.

"He's a snot-nosed little creep! And he's been asking about Moony all the time now. I've had enough with him and his little antics. I'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget." Eyes blazing behind his glasses, he stormed into the Restriction Section, sealing it shut behind him.

I banged on the door loudly. "James! Don't! Whatever you're planning, let it go. Dumbledore and the other teachers will handle it. Remus can handle himself. Please, James! Don't ignore me."

But there was nothing but frozen silence. Swearing, I kicked at the door and stalked away, furious and ashamed.

Why? Why was it so wrong for me to date Sean, when Remus had dated Angelina? And worst of all, what was James' plotting as revenge for Severus?

"I want to have a meeting with the Marauders." I said loudly, knowing full-well he was ignoring me. "Tomorrow night at eleven, in the Hog's Head. You'd better be there."

One of the absolute laws of our group was that we were never allowed to share its secrecy. The second was that every meeting must be honored, whether or not the others wanted it. James had to obey.

So did Remus. And I cringed at the thought of seeing him again, now that we had both broken each other's hearts.

"Don't be late." James said coldly. Just then, a skinny cat wended her way between a chair, her lamp-like eyes glowing in the darkness. She meowed loudly in an accusing tone.

"Mrs. Norris!" I hissed, realizing that her owner, Mr. Filch, couldn't be that much farther behind. I took off, just in time to see the crotchety old caretaker shuffling into sight, a lantern held in one gnarled hand.

"Hey!" he shouted, his gruff voice echoing in the stone corridor. "Stop right there! Or I'll have you thrown into the dungeons!"

I didn't even hesitate. I turned and sprinted away into the darkness. I heard Filch cursing and giving chase. Tearing around a hairpin curve, I dove into one of the empty classrooms and locked the door with trembling hands. I exhaled in relief.

Except I wasn't alone.

"Oh, dear," a quiet, icy voice said in the semi-darkness, "you are in trouble, aren't you?"

I turned slowly and faced the owner of the voice. I met his black gaze squarely, wand still in my hand.

"Hello, Severus," I replied coolly, "I think it's time you and I had a talk."


	65. The Forbidden Forest

**Pushing myself hard to finish the last few chapters of Book Four. I still hope to be done by Christmas, but it might be the New Year at this point. I'm determined to have this book done by 2016, so help me Lord! ;) This chapter was really fun and intense to write, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you for sticking with the story and I can't wait to read your responses. Merry christmas and thank you to all my Potterheads! xx**

* * *

Severus' liquid black eyes were emotionless. For a fraction of second, I thought he was going to sit down and talk rationally. Then, without warning, he struck.

"_Stupefy!" _He shouted. Caught off guard, I was hit with the force of the Stunning Spell and launched into the air. I slammed against the chalkboard, little stars popping in my eyes. Severus charged for the locked door. Feebly, I pointed my wand at him and murmured, "_Expelliarmus._"

The spell missed. Severus grabbed for the knob, but it was still locked. Swearing, he said, "_Alohamora!"_. He turned the handle.

"_Expelliarmus!" _I repeated, stronger this time, and the spell landed on its target. Severus' wand flew out of his hand and across the floor, on the complete opposite end of the classroom. He would have to run back and get it before he could leave. That would leave him completely vulnerable to attack.

Severus froze. Then he sprinted down the length of empty desks and snatched at his wand. I aimed a Stunning Spell at him but missed yet again; my vision was blurred from smacking my head.

Severus ran past me, for the open door. I threw my leg out and tripped him; he skittered three feet on the stone floor before coming to a halt. He glared at me as we both pointed our wands at each other in a deadlock.

"Give up, Harkstone." He said in a nasty voice. "I'm not afraid to use an Unforgivable Curse on you."

"Oh, really?" I shot back coldly, still half-slumped against the wall. "Did your mates teach you that? The ones who support You-Know-Who? How do you think Lily feels about that, huh? D'you reckon she'd stay with you if she learned the truth? If you came out with how much of a Dark Arts fanatic you really are?"

A shadow of pain crossed his face. He opened his mouth to use another curse, but I cast a Shield Charm that repelled his attack, which sounded like, "_Sectumsempra_."

"Going to try to kill me?" I asked coldly. "Like Angelina?"

Guilt now flashed across the pale face of Severus Snape. "I didn't know… she wasn't supposed to… I didn't teach her that spell." He said flatly.

"Liar." I retorted. "Maybe James and Sirius were right. Maybe you _are _a coward."

Severus' face contorted in rage and pain. "I could kill you." Severus said in a low voice filled with loathing. "Right now. There's quite a bounty on your head, you know."

"Go ahead." I dared him, though my blood chilled at his words. _Was it Folsom? Or Lord Voldemort? Or someone else?_

"You can barely stay conscious." Severus said drilly. "You'll be out in a few minutes. So I won't bother this time."

"I don't give up _that _easily." I shot back, struggling to sit up better. My back was starting to hurt from the contortion of how I'd fallen. "How long have you been supporting Lord Voldemort, Severus? A year? Four years? Since before Hogwarts?"

Severus' eyes widened. "You dare speak his name?"

"I don't care anymore. He's going to kill me either way, if he gets the chance." I pulled myself upright, the throbbing in my head worse. I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to surrender to unconsciousness. "What was the going price, Severus? How'd they win you over?"

"You can't prove anything." Severus said at once.

"Oh, really? Because I _know _I caught you hanging around with those Slytherin blokes on multiple occasions. Avery, Nott, Mulciber? Regulus?"

A muscle jerked in his cheek, but he didn't speak.

"I know what you're doing." I told him. "And I know Mara Smith's in with you. I don't know why. But I'll tell you right now, Severus: if you don't break away from these people soon, you're going to lose Lily. Forever."

Severus bared his teeth in a snarl. "She'll _never _leave me." He roared. "She promised! Besides, you don't know anything about me. About _us._ You've barely spoken to me in four years!"

"Maybe I could have if you'd actually let me." I snapped. "Maybe we could have even been friends. But you need to listen to me, Severus. If you don't get away from Lord Voldemort now, you'll never do it. Go to Dumbledore. Now. He can help you."

"Dumbledore?" Severus laughed without any trace of humor. "Dumbledore has no idea of what kinds of magic exist. He has no idea of how much power is available to those who seek it. We only have to learn how to tap into it."

"And Lord Voldemort's going to teach you?" I asked sardonically. "Come on, Severus. He's using you. He's using you to further his agenda, and you're falling into his trap! You're going to lose everything. Including Lily."

"That's enough!" Severus shouted, brandishing his wand. "You're one to talk, Harkstone! I know what kinds of things you and those _gits _get up to. Yeah, that's right! Precious Potter, Quidditch-star Potter! Pretty boy Sirius, that gibbering _idiot _Pettigrew, and that secretive Lupin! I know he's hiding something big from the rest of the school. And _you._" His black eyes glinted menacingly, and I stared at him, unprepared for the rush of heated words gushing from him. I had hardly spoken a word to this boy in four years, and now he was venting what sounded like years of long-suppressed hatred and suspicion.

"Perfect little Amber Harkstone. Dumbledore's favorite. Professor Smith's little apprentice. Sean Locke's dirty little secret. Lupin's fantasy girl. Straight A's, probably going to be Head Girl someday, maybe be a professional Quidditch player. Big deal! You're nothing but a shallow goody-two-shoes who thinks she can break the rules with those foul _scum _Potter and Black! Well, let me tell you, Harkstone: Regulus has the right idea about what kind of person Sirius really is!

"But I'm not finished with you yet! You think you can string someone's heart along without any consequence? You think that you're safe from the Dark Lord and his plans?" He gave a slightly manic laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "He's going to take over the Ministry first, and then the rest of the Wizarding and Muggle world. Things will be different. You'll see. People like you won't be on top anyone. It'll be the people who work hard and aren't appreciated. Lord Voldemort will ensure that we're noticed and that we're recognized. It's the gits like you that'll be going down."

I stared at him, my heart thumping painfully in my chest. Every insecurity, every mistake he'd thrown back into my face like a pot of boiling water. Trembling with a mixture of rage and hurt, I matched his furious gaze, feeling like I was bearing down upon a savage dragon.

"You don't even know me." I said quietly, my voice small and thin.

"Don't I?" Severus' black eyes flashed dangerously. "You don't think Lily confides in me about you? Oh, I know all about you, Miss Perfect… about how you killed Angelina, but 'not really'. How you broke your mother's heart and disappointed your father. How you lost your dear little sick sister and blamed yourself. How you dangle two boys along like they're a game… I know all about you, Amber Harkstone. And you should listen to _me_: you think you can give _me _a dressing down? You don't even know me. But I know you. I've been watching you for some time now, listening to Lily when she needs to sort you out herself. You're pointing out the speck of dust in my eye while ignoring the log in your own. Grow up and watch out."

I took a small, steadying breath. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed not to break down and cry. "Don't do this. If not yourself, then leave the Dark side for Lily."

Severus's eyes bulged slightly. "I do this for _her! _No, Amber… I know I've picked the right side. You're the one who has chosen incorrectly."

Before I could react, he jabbed his wand at me and snapped, "_Stupefy!"_

I didn't even try to block the spell this time. It hit me like the shed had at the ski lodge, and I sank gratefully into the dark oblivion, away from his punishing words and into the world of nothingness.

* * *

"What do you mean, you can't come tonight?" James demanded before Defense Against the Dark Arts the next day. "You're the one who orchestrated the meeting, remember?"

"I know." I said as I stood outside the classroom door with him. "But I have detention tonight with Kettleburn."

Last night, after Severus and I had had words, he had knocked me unconscious and left me in the empty classroom. Filch had found me not long after that and dragged me to Professor Flitwick, my Head of House. When I'd refused to tell him why I was in the library after hours, he'd been forced to give me detention, which I was to serve with Kettleburn that night at nine p.m. until midnight.

Nearly a full day after the cruel, calculated Severus had given me, I still felt cold inside. I felt like I was a monster. I had been prepared to nail his ears to the wall with his own mistakes, but instead, he'd annihilated me with mine. As much as I tried to forget his words, I couldn't stop hearing them over and over in my head, playing like an endless record in the recesses of my brain.

James scowled. "Fine. How about tomorrow night instead? Eleven p.m.?"

"Fine." I said dully, feeling sick and rotten. "I'm sorry, James."

James raised his brows. "For what?"

I shrugged. "Everything. Nothing. I don't know." I shuffled away, taking my usual seat at the desk I shared with Lily. When she arrived, she looked at me squarely, tense. "Severus told me you two had a row last night."

"We did." I confirmed. "It got ugly."

"Oh, no." Lily moaned, shaking her head. "Are you alright? Did you hurt him?"

I shrugged. "Not really. It was the other way around. Listen, Lily: he's not your friend anymore. I don't know if there's any point in staying close with him anymore. He's up to his eyeballs in the Dark Arts, and he's deadset in his ways. I just wanted to tell you that. You make the call and choose what you're going to do."

Lily sighed, raking her fingers into her hair. "I know. I've had a bad feeling about him for awhile now. But maybe he'll change."

I closed my eyes, trying to gouge out his echoing words in my mind, but they were etched permanently into my skull. He had given me a good, long look at myself, and I only wanted to run away, or throw up.

"Are you alright?" She asked in a low tone. "Are you and Sean okay?"

"We're fine." I said shortly. We'd been exchanging owl post constantly as usual. We normally exchanged owls every few hours, as often as our birds could relay messages. However, I'd left out the fight with Severus. I never wanted to tell anyone what Severus had told me. Mostly because much of what he said was true, at least in degrees. "Remus isn't talking to me."

"Give him time. He'll come around, just like you did." As she finished speaking, Mara walked down from the steps of her office and the class settled into silence. She was wearing deep purple robes today, her necklace and studs glinting in the sunlight streaming in from the windows.

"Good afternoon, class. Today will be a practical lesson again, so books away and wands out! Every stand up and choose a partner. You'll be practicing defensive spells I've written on the board today. Take turns being the attacker and the defender."

She'd written _Stupefy, Protego, Expelliarmus, Impedimenta, Langlock, Incarcerous, Reducto, _and _Petrificus Totalus _on the chalkboard behind her.

"Spell combat is essential in offensive and defensive magic." Mara said as she stood at the podium of the classroom, drawing attention from every student. "These are effective when you are faced with threats from unfriendly spells or foes."

"Professor," Sirius called from the back row, "is it true that the Ministry is talking about authorizing the usage of Unforgivable Curses? So that Aurors can fight back against You-Know-Who?"

Mara gave a small nod of acknowledgment. "It's true that the Ministry is considering certain levels of defense against the Dark Lord and his followers. However, there isn't currently any real sign that Unforgivable Curses will be allowed. It's been talked about, but I doubt we'll ever get to that point."

"Nice question." Lily muttered, rolling her eyes. "Be my partner?"

"'Course." I said, rising to my feet as the other students picked partners to practice with. During the rest of the class, Lily and I practiced our spellwork. Hers was flawless; mine was half-heartedly and shoddy.

"What's the matter with you?" Lily asked as she easily deflected a Disarming Spell. "You're horrible today."

"Thanks, Lily." I said dryly.

"No, you know that's not what I meant." She said impatiently. "I mean you're usually really good. You give me a run for my money." She peered closely at me. "Did something else happen last night?"

I felt sick with remorse and confusion. "I don't want to talk about it. Just leave it, Lily. Please."

"Fine." Lily said, backing off. "You'll talk to me when you're ready."

"Thanks." I said. Just then, there was a loud scream. I turned, expecting to see a classmate, but my jaw dropped when I saw Mara Smith hanging upside down at the front of the classroom, her robes falling past her waist, revealing her undergarments.

"Merlin's' _beard!_" Lily gasped, rushing forward to help. I stood, paralyzed, not sure quite what was going on.

"Sorry, Professor!" James Potter shouted. "I'm so sorry! _Liberacorpus!_"

Mara Smith dropped. She landed like a cat and crouched on the floor, looking like an angry tiger as she stared James Potter down. He was scarlet in the face, looking horrified. "I'm so, so sorry! I didn't know that spell would do that-"

"What spell did you use?" She asked in a very quiet, icy calm voice. The entire class was silent, watching James.

"Uh… uh… It was _Levicorpus…_"

Sirius looked dazed. His eyes were unfocused, a huge, foolish grin on his face.

"Detention." Mara Smith said softly. "Tonight."

James's red face paled to a deathly white. He couldn't speak.

"Class, resume your spellwork." Mara said in a dignified tone, rising to her full height gracefully. "Potter, please sit down and read Chapter Thirteen in your textbook. There will be no need for you to practice anymore."

Sirius looked shocked as his best friend was essentially banned from practical work. "Professor," Sirius said tentatively, "who should _I _work with?"

"You can work with me, Sirius." She said in that same cool, clipped voice that made me shiver. It was worse than yelling. I had the unpleasant hunch that she was probably plotting James' murder in her mind in a way that would ensure she was proven innocent if she was ever questioned. "And no more tricks or accidents. Otherwise, you'll be joining Mr. Potter in detention tonight."

"Yes, ma'am." Sirius said at once. The tense atmosphere of the room slowly faded as students resumed their work.

"I guess James will be joining me tonight." I told Lily. "I have detention with Kettleburn."

"Not again." Lily sighed. "This is your fourth one this year."

"Yeah," I said indifferently, looking at James, who had hidden his face completely in his book. "Hey, Lily… do you think I'm a bad person?"

Lily blinked, looking startled, then wary. "No… why?"

I shrugged. "No reason." I tapped my wand on my thigh, hitching a smile on my face. "Come on. Let's keep practicing."

* * *

At almost nine that night, Professor Flitwick escorted me down to the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall was waiting with James, who was shame-faced and stoic. A warm spell and a torrential rainstorm earlier had washed away much of the snow, leaving grounds muddy and brown. A few patches of stained snow remained. Even though the past day had felt like late March, it was still mid-January, and I knew that the weather was going to revert back to its rightful attitude quickly. The warm air was already being replaced by chilly winter, returning full-force. I could smell frost in the air as our Heads of Houses walked with us down to the barn at the edge of the forest where Professor Kettleburn lived.

"You will be brought back to the castle after your detention by Professor Kettleburn." Professor McGonagall said sternly. "You will do as asked and not question his methods."

"Professor Kettleburn's methods are primeval, but effective. He and Mr. Filch see eye-to-eye on discipline and punishment. They used to hang children by their thumbs in the dungeons, a few years back. But not to worry, not to worry." Professor Flitwick squeaked at the horrified expressions on me and James' face. "He's been warned not to be excessive or cruel. So fret not."

James and I exchanged a look as our Heads led us down to the barn. It glowed like a beacon against the wall of blackness that was the Forbidden Forest.

Professor Kettleburn shuffled out, carrying a crossbow. Limping beside him was a massive black-and-tan dog, which looked like some sort of wolf dog hybrid. The strange dog growled at us as we neared.

"Evening, Professors," Professor Kettleburn said gruffly. "Thanks for bringing the mites down. It's a long walk uphill." He tapped at his wooden leg.

"What exactly do you have in mind for us?" James asked apprehensively, looking uncharacteristically nervous.

"A little of this, a little of that." Professor Kettleburn said evasively. "I'll try to bring them back in one piece."

"Oh, dear," I muttered, palms gathering sweat. I wiped them on my jeans. James and I had both changed into Muggle clothes at Professor Kettleburn's request before serving the detention.

"Don't want your robes to snag on the thickets in there." He said, pointing the trees. "I'll have them back by midnight. If we aren't back by two, send a search party. And be sure to bring body bags."

James laughed. "Very funny, Professor."

Professor Kettleburn eyed him beadily. "I wasn't joking, Potter. Sometimes when folks go in those trees, they don't come back out. Not alive, anyway."

James looked sick. A moment later, the full moon rose over the ridge of trees, bathing us in bright, silvery light. I realized with a pang that Remus would be in the Shrieking Shack, undergoing his monthly transformation.

"Good luck." Professor McGonagall said sternly. "Try not to scare them too much, Silvanus."

Professor Kettleburn grunted. Our Heads of Houses walked away up the moonlit hill back to the looming castle.

"Right," said Professor Kettleburn. "I've borrowed Hagrid's crossbow in case we run into trouble tonight. This here is Loki. He's half-gytrash, half-dog. He'll be part of our protection tonight. Gytrashes have some of the best scents of smell in the world."

"They're nocturnal, too," I added, remembering reading about them, "and they're very dangerous. They live in packs, and they're really hard to see until they're close enough to strike. They have a faint silvery glow and attack like piranhas. They're scared of fire and light, and they're like solid ghosts."

James stared at me. "Nerd." He said at last, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I'd give you ten points for Ravenclaw, but seeing as you're serving detention…" Professor Kettleburn scratched at his beard. "Yeah, Loki's half-gytrash. So he's solid, and isn't as afraid of fire or light. But he's still nocturnal, and he'll be able to ward off most threats by himself. Gytrashes are nasty creatures."

Loki looked into the trees and gave a low growl. Gooseflesh creeped over my skin at the sound.

"Tonight, you two will be helping me collect mooncalf dung for Professor Sprout." Professor Kettleburn announced, handing us each two empty buckets and a small trowel. "Mooncalves only come out during full moons, and their dung is extremely beneficial to magical plants. It'll make them grow fast and strong. But it has to be collected before sunrise, or it's useless. So, we're going to use Loki's sense of smell to find the buggers. They're usually pretty deep in the woods, maybe a mile or so. They're real skittish too, so we'll have to be careful not to scare them off."

"Professor," James asked in a quavering voice. "Are you sure it's safe to go in there?"

"Of course it's not." Professor Kettleburn shot back. "It's the Forbidden Forest, lad! Plenty of things in there that'll wanna kill ya, or at least take a bite of flesh. Nah, it's not safe at all, which is why it's 'forbidden'. But you'll be alright. You're fourth years, and you've got me with you. And Loki." He gave the half-gytrash a pet. The beast gave a snarling noise that I assumed was a noise of contentment, but I wasn't sure.

"Let's get going, then," Kettleburn said, shuffling toward the forest. "Wands out."

"_Lumos_." James and I said in unison. Carrying wands in one hand and our buckets with the other, we followed Professor Kettleburn into the black trees with great reluctance. I could see James' face beaded with sweat as we entered the gloomy realm of the trees. Silvery mist hung between the black spires of tall, branchless pine trees as we wended our way through thickets of brambles and undergrowth. We had only gone a few minutes into the trees when I again had the unpleasant sensation that we were being watched.

"Stay together, now, and keep an eye out." Professor Kettleburn reminded us as we passed through the trees. "Loki's on the trail, but don't think we're completely safe. There's lots of unfriendly and hungry creatures out there."

"I wish he'd stop saying that." James whispered to me. He looked pale and ill.

"Are you alright?" I muttered out of the corner of my mouth.

James shook his head. "I wish Sirius was here. I didn't know that spell would do that to Professor Smith Jr. You know, I thought it'd be a funny thing. But _that_…" he trailed off, mortified. "I'm glad she didn't curse me into a slug. But this isn't my idea of fun, either."

"I know what you mean." I said quietly, shivering as a drop of water landed on my bare neck. I had tied my hair back into a ponytail so it wouldn't get caught in branches, but it left me feeling more exposed. Shafts of bright, milky light cut through the holes in the canopy, illuminating the forest. "How do you think Remus is doing?"

James sighed. "Honestly, he was really low after what happened between you and Sean. Sirius and Peter were up all night with me and him, talking, the night we got back. I've never seen him like that before. Not even when Angelina died."

Guilt curled like a snake in my stomach. "I wish he and I could talk." I admitted. "I don't want to lose our friendship. Not for anything."

"He'll come around, when he's ready." James said. "He's hurt, but he's a good guy. One of the best blokes I know, aside from Sirius. Merlin's beard, I wish he was here."

James did look oddly lost and somehow vulnerable without his constant partner in crime. "I'm here." I reminded him reassuringly.

Was that a ghost of a smile on his face? James nodded once and exhaled loudly. "I just want to finish this detention and go back to the castle. I hate this place. It gives me the creeps."

"Me too." I agreed. "But it is kind of pretty, isn't it? In a strange way."

"Yeah…" James said, glancing around. "I guess so."

"This way," Kettleburn grunted. "A few more minutes and we should be there. Careful not to step in that, Potter, it takes weeks to get the smell out."

"Oh, right." James said quickly, barely missing a pile of dung. It was huge. "Whatever left that must be really big."

"Thestrals." Kettleburn informed him. "They're big, alright, but mostly harmless. Hagrid's got the biggest domesticated herd in Great Britain in these trees."

I felt an odd sensation sweep over my skin as we continued through the misty woods. I kept throwing looks over my shoulder, but there was nothing. The feeling of foreboding persisted. Gritting my teeth, I clenched the wand tighter, my palm wet with anxiety again.

"Where _is _Sirius?" I asked James after a lull in the conversation.

"He and Peter were going to stay inside." James said. "But I think Sirius wanted to play a prank on Snivellus."

I stopped. "What do you mean?" I asked warily. "James, does this prank involve what you were talking about last night?"

James looked shifty. "It might."

Professor Kettleburn kept going. "James," I said in a low tone, "what exactly was this prank? You've already shown that you can go too far."

James turned red. "It won't happen again. Besides, I've got it all under control."

"James!" I hissed. "Please. Tell me what the prank was."

"Hurry up, you two!" Kettleburn called, already alarmingly far ahead. "I won't come looking for your bodies if you get lost."

James and I sprinted to cover the distance. The unpleasant feeling of foreboding gripped me. But before I could ask James again, Professor Kettleburn held up a hand. "Stop." He whispered.

James and I obeyed. "What's wrong?" James asked, his voice high-pitched and nervous. "Is there something up ahead?"

"Do you see that?" Kettleburn whispered, pointing to a small clearing just ahead. It was bathed in moonlight, like an oasis of light in the forest of darkness. "Those little creatures dancing around in circles?"

After a moment, I did. There were dozens of curious little silver creatures. They were the size of small dogs, no bigger than a Pekingese. They reminded me of long-legged, awkward spiders that lived in my basement and barn back home. All of them were dancing erratically in those weird circular movements, making peculiar chirping noises.

"Mooncalves." I breathed. "Oh, they're so cute!"

"They look like aliens." James said offhandedly.

"They're very shy." Kettleburn told us. "And only come out during the full moon. Approach very slowly and don't make any sudden moves. Their dung is blue and glitters. Get as much as you can and then come back to me. We'll find another colony after this one."

Slowly, hardly daring to breathe, James and I crept forward. The mooncalves were too busy dancing to notice us. Up-close, they were more bizarre-looking than ever, with huge, bulging blue eyes that reflected the moonlight. While they danced, James and I crept forward on hands and knees and shoveled their dung into the buckets. There wasn't much, only enough to fill the bottom three inches of the buckets.

"Not too bad," said Kettleburn dispassionately when we showed him our loads. They didn't smell unpleasant; it was like wet clay. "Loki's already got the scent of another colony. Come on."

Four colonies and two miles later, we'd collected enough dung in each bucket to made it hard to carry them. While Kettleburn wasn't paying attention, I used the Feather-Light Charm on both of our buckets to make hauling easier.

"Thanks, Lionheart," James said heavily, wiping his brow. He'd been struggling to tote the bucket of dung.

"I think that's enough for now." Kettleburn said. "Professor Sprout will be pleased."

"You know," James said as we walked back through the black trees, "this place really isn't so bad."

"Not when you've got Kettleburn and Loki." I agreed. "I think most of the Forest is scared of him."

"And for good reason, too," said Kettleburn sourly as we followed Loki back to the edge of the Forest. "Lots of scary things in here, but nothing's as scary as me. Except for the Acromantula colony."

"The what?" James asked weakly.

"Acromantula colony." Professor Kettleburn repeated. "We passed it about five minutes ago. It's a quarter mile from back there. Gytrashes prey on the spiders, though, so they avoided us. We'll be alright."

"Oh, I see." James said, looking pale again.

"James," I said lightly, hoping to catch him off-guard. "What exactly was this prank of yours?"

James blinked, then sighed. "Well, if you _must _know… Snivellus has been tailing us for weeks now. It's really annoying. He's trying to see what we get up to. And he's been trying to figure out Moony's furry little problem."

"He told me." I said glumly. James looked at me curiously, but I waved him off. "I'll tell you more tomorrow. You were saying?"

"Well, Snivellus wouldn't back off. So I decided, maybe we should throw him a bit of a bone. Give him a bit of a scavenger hunt. Frankly, I'd like to see him get what he deserves. I know he's deep in with the Dark Lord's supporters, and I'm tired of him." A shifty grin spread on his face. "So, Sirius came up with an idea to scare him."

A terrible feeling of dread filled me. Trying to keep my voice neutral, I said, "What was his idea?"

"Well," James said quietly, so Kettleburn wouldn't hear, "Sirius told him that if he bewitched the Whomping Willow during a full moon and followed the tunnel to the end, he'd be able to see what we get up to."

I had stopped again, staring at him. "James," I said slowly, "Sirius was only joking, right?"

James nodded. "Yeah. I told him it was too risky, that he might actually get attacked by Moony. So we decided to go with my idea instead."

"And what was your idea?"

"We're going to use the _Levicorpus _on him tomorrow." He said gleefully. "During lunch, so everyone will see it."

I shook my head, unable to dispel the gnawing feeling of apprehension. "James, come on. We _know _Sirius. Do you honestly think he'd step down a prank? The bigger and riskier, the better. Did he Vow not to go with the first one?"

James frowned. "No, but-"

"Sirius hates Severus. Maybe more than you do. James, did he _swear _he wouldn't go through with the first prank?"

James looked troubled. He paused, thinking hard. "Sirius wouldn't." He said at last. "He said he wouldn't."

"James…" I moaned, almost dropping the bucket. "It's the full moon _tonight_. What if he went through with it anyway?"

James bit his lip. "Come on. Let's get back to the castle."

We hustled after Kettleburn. We reached the edge of the forest and the barn, depositing the buckets inside. But Kettleburn cleared his throat.

"Not so fast," he warned. "Harvesting was only half of your punishment. Now you get to spread it on the greenhouse plants."

"What?" James exclaimed. "But we've got to get back to the castle!"

"Not yet, you don't." said Kettleburn. "Finish first. The dung's only good at night. It's useless when the sun comes up."

Heart pounding, James and I picked up our buckets and followed Kettleburn up to the greenhouses. Various live plants twisted their tendrils and leaves as we hastily scooped out the dung and spread it over the soil. The plants were glittering when we left, as if they had stars inside of them.

"Good." Kettleburn said approvingly. "You two look like you've got pixies in your pants."

"We need to get back to the castle." James repeated. "Our friend's in trouble."

"Ah," Kettleburn said, "maybe next time you'll think twice before using a jinx on your teacher."

"I didn't mean to." James said at once, a pink hue seeping from his neck to his hairline.

"They all say that." Kettleburn replied brusquely. "I'll escort you two back."

"No, no," James said quickly, "we can handle it ourselves."

"Not so fast, Slick," Kettleburn said, glowering at him. "I don't want you two running amok without supervision."

"Please, Professor," I appealed, giving him my best charming look. I fluttered my lashes, hoping I was imitating Lily. "I promise we'll go straight to the castle. You have my word."

Professor Kettleburn, to my surprised relief, let out a gusty sigh and waved us off. "Alright, alright. I don't want to be stumping all the way up the hill and back anyways. Don't let me catch either of you two wandering around, you hear? Now get going."

"Thank you." I said sweetly, smiling hugely. James and I exited the greenhouse and broke into a run the moment we'd left it behind.

"Do you think Sirius would actually do this?" James asked me desperately as we charged up the hills, legs cramping.

"Of course I do!" I snapped. "Neither of you know when too far is too far! Hurry up!"

We raced into the castle. James and I made a beeline for the Gryffindor Tower. The Fat Lady was sleeping heavily as we approached.

"_Pismire._" James panted. "_Pismire!_"

The Fat Lady snorted in her sleep, but opened. She didn't even notice as I sped into the tunnel after James and into the empty Common Room.

It looked the same as when I had been here last. A fire crackled in the hearth, surrounded by squashy armchairs and a couch. But there was no one here.

James rushed upstairs to the boys' dormitories. He returned a moment later with Peter, who was yawning.

"Peter!" I said, hurrying forward. "Wait a moment. Where's Sirius?"

"He wasn't in bed." James said shortly. "Peter, where is he?"

Peter blinked owlishly, his face peaky from sleep. "I don't know… he went to bed a few hours ago, right after you left for detention."

"Well, he's not there now, Peter." James said, shaking his head. "He's not in the bathroom, either. Merlin's beard. Amber, what if he really went through with this?"

"Then Severus is in trouble." I said, remembering all of the horrible things he'd said to me last night. Part of me wanted to let him suffer, to let Remus attack him with the full might of the moon's power behind him… but I knew in my heart that Severus could very well be killed if we didn't act. Now.

"We've got to go to the Whomping Willow." James said at once. "Come on, Peter! Hurry!"

"Should we get the Cloak?" He asked, yawning as he waddled after us.

"There's no time!" James shot over his shoulder as we raced out of the portrait hole and into the castle. We hurried down the stairs and through the secret tunnel on the first floor, which led us out into the lichen-curtain cave and beyond into the Hogwarts grounds. Peter was gasping for breath behind us, but there wasn't time to wait for him. The Whomping Willow was immobile when we reached it, frozen. The dread mounted until I wanted to throw up.

Severus was down there. He was going to find Remus. And Remus would kill him.

There was a figure leaning against the trunk of the Willow. As we neared it, we saw that it was Sirius. He had a cruel smile on his handsome face, twirling his wand like a baton in one hand.

"Sirius." James said, his voice full of warning. "What did you do?"

Sirius grinned. "Just getting a little revenge on Snivellus, Prongs. Didn't you hear what he did to Lionheart last night?"

James' eyes flickered to me. I blushed and shook my head. "That's not important. His life is at stake, Sirius. Did he go down there?"

Sirius tossed his wand carelessly into the air and caught it again. "Yeah. About five minutes ago. Stupid git. You'll hear his screams any second now, if he can't fight off a werewolf."

James and I exchanged looks of horror. Peter gasped. "Sirius! I thought you were only joking! I didn't know you were actually going to… oh… oh no!"

Sirius laughed coldly. "Oh, come on. Knowing Snivellus he'll be fine. Maybe a few cuts and scratches, but he'll survive. A bug like him is too hard to kill. Like a roach. They just don't die."

"Sirius, you idiot!" I shouted, terror paralyzing my limbs. "If Remus bites him, he's going to be contaminated with the curse of the moon! Or Remus will _kill _him!"

"What a shame that would be." Sirius said remorselessly. "Go on and save his useless skin if you want to. I don't care."

I stared at Sirius, struck cold by this new, frozen demeanor. His gray eyes glinted in the moonlight. I realized that he truly did not care if Severus died or not.

"James, we have to hurry!" I said, forcing myself out of my shock. "Come on!"

James threw a look full of meaning at Sirius, as if he had never seen his best friend before. Then he plunged into the tunnel after me. Peter did not come. Neither did Sirius.

"Hurry!" I shouted, my feet pounding on the rooted dirt floor of the tunnel. I nearly tripped several times and had to grab the wall for support more than once. I knew that at the end of the tunnel, I was about to meet a fully-transformed werewolf. And hopefully, a live Severus.

"Amber!" James shouted in warning. "I think I can see him!"

"Severus!" I screamed. "Severus! _STOP!"_

But the figure ahead did not slow down. He broke into a sprint and hurried onward.

"NO!" I yelled, but Severus did not listen. James surged ahead, his longer legs giving him more stride. "Stop him!" I cried, forcing myself to plow on.

The blood pounded in my ears as the end of the tunnel neared. I could hear the horrific sounds of what I thought was a tormented ghost: wailing, snarling, screeching, howling. But as we neared, I realized it was no ghost. It was Remus.

He was going to kill Severus.

"James, hurry!" I screamed as Severus said, "_Alohamora_!" and the trapdoor burst open. I heard the sounds of the werewolf as if the beast was just inches from me. Severus stood in the light of the opened trapdoor, and I knew that James would not reach him in time to save him.

And then I felt the familiar feeling of compression as I was sucked into a vortex of sound and color. A second later my feet touched the ground again. I was standing in front of Severus, standing between him and a creature that had haunted Remus for years.

Before I could quite wrap my mind around the fact that I had just Apparated for the first time in my life without assistance, I fully appreciated why Remus was so afraid of the full moon. Standing before me was not my best friend, but a huge, terrible half-man, half-wolf creature. Great tawny eyes - feral and ferocious - stared at me with hunger and anger. He had dark brown fur covering his muscular body, and he let out a huge, deafening roar that made my heart skip a beat. The dripping, vicious fangs snapped as I shouted, "_Protego!_"

The Shield Charm blocked the blow of the werewolf. But it was fast and ruthless. The werewolf snarled and lunged, and a spiderweb of cracks appeared in the iridescent blue light protecting me.

"Snape, you moron!" James yelled from behind me. "_Stupefy!"_

The Stunning Spell hit the werewolf, which howled in rage and leapt again to attack. The Shield Charm cracked and failed. Hating myself, knowing it was really Remus and not a monster, I shouted, "_Stupefy!_" in unison with James. The combined spells made the werewolf cringe, howling, doubled-over as it tried to regain its composure.

"We have to get out of here!" James shouted. "NOW!"

Severus was the color of death. He seemed frozen with terror. James wrenched at him and forced him back down the tunnel. The werewolf roared and lunged at me again, claws outstretched, teeth bared.

"_Impedimenta_!" I yelled desperately. The werewolf slowed, but didn't stop. He collided with me a moment later, sending us crashing to the dusty floor. But before the monster could bite me, James sent another volley of Stunning Spells, and the creature was fended off for a brief moment.

"AMBER, GET UP AND RUN!" James roared. I scrambled to my feet and raced into the tunnel. James slammed the door shut. "_Colloportus!_" He said in a trembling voice. The door sealed. I could hear the werewolf slamming itself against the door, howling, screaming, trying to get at us like a furious hive of hornets.

A strangled sob wrenched from me as the full weight of what had just happened hit me. Sinking to the ground, I covered my face and wept.

Severus looked like he was about to be sick. White and trembling, he stared at James and I in turn, speechless. James was panting, trying to catch his breath, his wand still out.

"We're alive." James said at last. "Thanks to Amber."

"Thanks to you." I sobbed, unable to stop crying. I couldn't stop picturing the werewolf flying at me, certain death coming for us all. And it was Remus.

_Oh, God! Maybe Sean _was _right. Maybe Remus was right, too. Maybe he's too dangerous. Oh, GOD!  
_The three of us flinched as the sound of approaching footsteps mingled with the muffled sounds of the furious werewolf behind the sealed door. Standing with Professors Flitwick and McGonagall was Professor Dumbledore. All three teachers looked like they had come prepared to retrieve our bodies. McGonagall gave a little gasp of relief, while Flitwick drew his wand and approached the shuddering door cautiously.

"It is alright, Filius," Dumbledore said in a cool voice, "the door is sealed. However," he went on, the light of our wands reflecting in his half-moon spectacles, "you three will need to come with me. At once."


	66. The Four Symbols

**ALRIGHT. So, I obviously didn't get this book done by Christmas, but there's 2 chapters left in Book Four and then we will be moving onto Year 5. This chapter stumped me for awhile, and I struggled for a few days with how to write the second half. But I feel pretty good about how it came out, so it seems that it was worth the wait. I'll be pushing out the final 2 chapters hopefully within a couple days, one week at the most (I HOPE!). It's truly a pleasure to read your responses and thank you so much for all of your support and your continued loyalty to the story. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Cheers to 2017!**

* * *

Unable to cease the flow of tears, I tottered after them. Professor McGonagall, in an uncharacteristic show of kindness, gave me a tartan handkerchief to blow my nose in. "There, there, dear, shhhh. It's all going to be alright now."

I could still hear the muffled sounds of the werewolf as we walked away from Remus. The silence spiraled horribly as the six of us walked down the earthen tunnel, broken only by the crunch of rocky soil beneath our shoes. Finally, we exited underneath the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow. Sirius was gone, as was Peter.

None of the professors mentioned them, and I assumed that meant that they had fled upon seeing them approach to evade incriminating themselves. _This is all Sirius' fault, _I thought darkly as we walked in silence back to the castle. No one spoke until we reached Dumbledore's office, upon which he said calmly to the stone gargoyle, "Chocolate frogs."

The gargoyle leapt aside, and the six of us walked up the spiral staircase in single-file. Severus was still very white and slightly green; James looked thunderous. I felt numb, as if I couldn't ever feel anything again except mute shock.

Dumbledore took a seat behind his desk. He gestured for the three of us to remain standing before him, while Flitwick and McGonagall waited by the collection of mysterious trinkets.

"Shall I call Professor Slughorn to deal with Severus?" asked McGonagall.

"Not yet, Minerva," replied the Headmaster, steepling his long fingers and fixing the three of us with that penetrative gaze of his. "Now, then… who would like to speak first?"

None of us spoke. Dumbledore lifted a brow as the silence stretched on.

"Speaking first will not increase your punishment." He said reassuringly. "I admire the courage of the one who will break the silence."

At last, James burst out, "This _git _almost got himself killed tonight. If he'd listened to us, we wouldn't have gotten into this mess. He could have died and taken us with him!"

Severus went rigid. "That's a lie." He snapped. "How could you let a werewolf attend this school, Professor? Don't you know how dangerous Remus is?"

"Remus isn't any more dangerous than a Lord Voldemort supporter!" I said hotly, and both Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall winced at the name.

"Are you trying to call me something, Harkstone?" Severus asked quietly, his eyes glinting.

"I'm calling you an idiot!" I shouted, tears still flowing. "Merlin's beard, Severus! What were you _thinking_? How could you do this?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Severus retorted. "If Black hadn't told me about Lupin's condition, I wouldn't have had to find out for myself!"

"Sirius Black told you?" Professor Dumbledore interrupted.

"Sort of. Not really." Severus turned pink. "He told me that if I wanted to know what this lot gets up to every full moon, I should touch a knot at the base of the Whomping Willow and go through the tunnel to the end. That I'd find my answer there."

"I see." Dumbledore said, his voice expressionless, but Severus turned red.

"He's an idiot!" James said furiously. "It's not Sirius' fault! It's not his fault that this _git _had no sense at all, didn't even think to use his own brain…"

"Shut up, Potter!" Severus flashed. "You don't know the first thing about using your brains!"

"You're both ridiculous!" I shouted, actually stomping my foot in frustration. "Professor, if James and I hadn't gotten to Severus in time, he'd be _dead! _And if I hadn't…" I broke off, unsure that I wanted to tell them that I had Apparated, when I wasn't even sure how I'd done it.

"Hadn't what, Miss Harkstone?" prompted the Headmaster. I could feel the eyes of everyone trained on me; I swallowed hard, fighting to reign in my explosive emotions.

"Nothing, sir," I said quietly.

"She did _something_." Severus countered. "She moved right in front of me at the last minute! I don't know _how, _but she did something!"

"Amber?" The Headmaster said again. "Is that true?"

I studied the floor. "Yes, sir."

"Did you Apparate in front of Severus?"

"She couldn't have." James snorted.

"Yes, sir." I said, feeling Severus' black gaze boring into me.

"I see." The Headmaster said. "Are you aware that it is illegal to Apparate under the age of seventeen, in addition to being extremely dangerous? You could have Splinched yourself beyond repair, as well as been killed by the werewolf."

"I know, sir," I said, still staring at my shoes. "I didn't mean to. It just kind of… happened. I knew I had to get in front of Severus, since he wasn't going to move, but I couldn't think of a spell fast enough. So I just… _Apparated._ I didn't even know I knew how."

"Come off it," James said, sounding half-annoyed, half-impressed. "You can't Apparate. You could barely use magic at all last year!"

"Things change, I suppose." Severus said blackly. "She should be punished for what she did, Professor. She could have Splinched herself, like you said. And it's illegal."

"She just saved your life, you slimy worm!" James shouted. I appreciated how angry he sounded on my behalf.

"Silence, both of you." Dumbledore said sternly, as Severus opened his mouth to fire off a retort. "As thankful as I am that all of you are alive and in one piece, what you did tonight was very foolish. Fifty points will be taken from your Houses. Each of you will serve detention for a week, starting tomorrow night. Finally, all of you are sworn to secrecy. You are not to hint or otherwise reveal Remus Lupin's condition to anyone, whether in this school or out. Is that quite understood?"

Dumbledore hadn't shouted. He hadn't even raised his voice. Yet, this cold, clear, final tone of his was somehow worse than if he had. All three of us hung our heads, even though Severus looked mutinous. "Yes, sir," we mumbled.

"I want your words that you will keep his condition secret. Do I have it?"

"Yes." James and I said at once. We both glanced at Severus, who pressed his thin lips together into a hard line. "...Yes." He said at last through gritted teeth, as if he had just swallowed a lemon.

"Good." Dumbledore said. "Severus, James, please leave this office with Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick. Amber, a word?"

"Busted," Severus whispered, as James shot me a desperate look. But there was nothing he could do. Helpless, I watched as he and the others trooped out of the room, leaving the Headmaster and I alone. Fawkes woke with a low croon and ruffled his feathers, picking at a golden tray of charred-black food.

"Amber," Dumbledore began at last, "has anyone been giving you Apparation lessons?"

"No, sir," I said honestly. "I've done Side-Along Apparition before, with Professor Smith and Sean Locke. I know the theory behind it, but I've never attempted it before. I swear I didn't mean to. It sort of just… happened."

Dumbledore studied me through those intense blue eyes. "Sometimes, in moments of powerful emotion or desperation, wizards are capable of magic we never knew possible." He said at last.

"And my visions are back." I confessed. "Even without the necklace." Somehow, I held back a sob and forced myself not to think of Remus, in that terrible monstrous form. "Sir, what's wrong with me? Am I a Seer?"

"That, I'm afraid, is not at my power to disclose."

"But Madam Cheek said I wasn't. And what do these visions mean?"

"I do not believe that you are entirely a Seer, Amber. Rather, as Professor Smith said, you must try and move on with your life until you are older. Until you are old enough to better understand yourself and your abilities."

"But, sir," I continued, my voice rising an octave in desperation, "what if-"

"Please, sit." He said, gesturing to the chintz chair before his desk. "I will return briefly."

Puzzled, I watched him rise from his chair and approach one of his many shelves of mysterious instruments. He returned a minute later with a large rolled-up piece of parchment. Wordlessly, he spread the parchment across the surface of his desk. It was quite large, covering nearly the whole surface. I blinked, overwhelmed at the expanse of symbols across the parchment.

"Sir, what is this?" I asked as I looked down at the parchment. Every inch was covered with strange runes and symbols. It looked like a rubbing from an old ruin or temple.

"One of Professor Babbling's many teaching items." He said neutrally. "What do you notice? What draws your attention?"

I looked up at him, confused. "Sir?"

"There are over one thousand symbols on that parchment." Dumbledore informed me. "Which four or five draw your eye the most?"

Flabbergasted, I looked down at the paper again. Privately, I wondered if Dumbledore had had too much cups of brandy that night. _Merlin's beard… he's gotten a little senile, hasn't he?_

I didn't understand the point of this at all. But more than anything, I wanted to appease the Headmaster. So I scanned through the vast collection of symbols and touched each of them with one finger.

A single, straight line. A simple triangle. A tiny circle. Finally, I touched a pair of wings, small and fragile, like a Snitch's. I looked up at the Headmaster again, nonplussed.

Dumbledore did not speak for a long time. He was quiet for so long that I was afraid that he had frozen. "Sir?" I asked tentatively after an unbearably long stretch of silence. "Are you alright?"

"You said that your book was stolen?" Dumbledore asked at last, not meeting my gaze.

"Yes. It's still missing."

"And you are the eldest child in your family?"

"Yes."

"And your little sister, Virginia? Forgive me, but she was a Seer, was she not?"

"_Yes_." I said, getting irritated.

"I see, I see…" Dumbledore swept away from the table, looking out over the black lake. The full moon reflected across it, a moving sheet of white flame in the darkness. Fawkes fluttered over to me, nuzzling my cheek affectionately. Dumbledore turned and stared at me, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rising. His stare was not predatory like the werewolf Remus, nor was it loathing like Snape's. However, the gaze he pinned me with was so intense and full of speculation that it made me shiver.

"Do you know what's wrong with me?" I asked him plaintively. I held my breath, waiting.

Dumbledore stared at me for a long moment. Then he shook his head and looked away. I thought I had seen a fleeting look of realization in his blue eyes, but then it was gone, carefully shrouded behind a facade of enigma.

"You may go, Amber," Dumbledore said softly, hands folded behind his back as he began to pace. "Remember what Professor Smith said."

I got to my feet and padded across the carpeted floor to the door. Fawkes fluttered back to his perch, singing softly. I half-turned, afraid to speak. "Professor?"

"Yes?" He said.

I swallowed hard. "If you _do _know what's wrong with me… you'll tell me eventually, right? When I'm older?"

The Headmaster gave me a cursory look. "Good night, Miss Harkstone."

I knew when I was being dismissed. More confused than ever, I quietly left his office and made the trek back to Ravenclaw Tower. Once in the girl's lavatories, I turned the water on full blast, not caring that it was so late at night, and disrobed. I stepped underneath the stream of hot water and tried to picture it washing away not just the dirt and blood, but also the worries and insecurities clinging to me like mud. But no matter how long I stood under the pounding water, I couldn't wash away the image of the werewolf, claws out, jaws open, lunging for me.

* * *

Remus was not in classes the next day. I told Lily everything during free period, after bringing her into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom so that we wouldn't be disturbed. She was horrified at what had almost happened. Even worse, she was heartsick over Severus and what he had done.

"He could have died!" She wailed, pale and shaking. "He could have caused you all to die! And Remus…"

"I know." I said grimly.

"Oh, my _God_." She went over to the sink and ran the tap, splashing cold water on her face. Her face was still pale and drawn when she looked at me again. "I can't believe this. He could have… I can't…"

"I know." I said again. "You don't have to say anything Lily. I know."

Lily took in a shaky breath. She took several moments to compose herself, and when she finally looked at me again, I saw my own pain and confusion reflected in her green eyes.

"You and Remus haven't talked yet, have you?" She asked at last.

"No, we haven't." I replied dully. "Not since the train ride back to school. And that didn't go well." Not at all.

Lily hugged her arms around herself. "You have to talk to him. Today."

I thought about Sean, about what Remus had said right before I'd killed the hope in his passionate words. "I know."

"I haven't seen him. He might be in the hospital wing."

I shook my head, staring at my reflection in the grubby mirror. I touched the healed scar on my face that had resulted from the collision with the shed at the ski resort. It was small, barely noticeable, but it was still there. Like my love for Remus, it would always be a part of me, no matter what happened between me and Sean.

Most of all, I would never lose what he had done for me. Now, I had to do something for him.

"I know where he is." I said quietly, throwing my hair over one shoulder. "I'll talk to you later, Lily."

"Want me to come with you?" she offered.

I shook my head. "No, thank you. I think I need to face this alone."

We departed the bathrooms. Lily headed off toward the library as I waved my wand and said, "_Accio cloak!_". A few seconds later, my winter robe flew down the corridor like a lethifold, and I caught it with my free hand. Pulling it on deftly, I made my way down the front stone steps of the castle and down the frosty grounds. A light snow had begun to fall, landing in soft puffs on the ground. I padded across the lawn, the only sound the noise my boots made as they crunched over the dead and frozen grass.

It took ten minutes to reach the beech tree by the water. I had been here before many times, both as myself and again as Sapphira Peverell. Sitting underneath the tree with a large Mason jar of blue flames was Remus.

He glanced up once as I approached, then looked away. He flipped a page loudly in the book he was reading. I grimaced. He looked terrible, as if he had just recovered from a severe but brief illness. His scars were more garish and obvious than ever, and there were a few new scratches and cuts on his wan, pale face.

I shifted uneasily on my feet. "Hello."

Remus glanced up again, then looked back down at his book. "Hello."

Dismay curled cold in the pit of my stomach. At one point, we had been able to talk about anything and everything without the slightest hesitation or reluctance. Now, we faced each other as if a towering wall ten feet thick and one hundred feet high separated us. I didn't know how to scale it, so I decided to be frank and try and break it down by force.

"I'm sorry, Remus." I said, cutting to the heart of the matter and forsaking the small talk. "I never meant to hurt you."

"Are you talking about last night, or about the train ride?" Remus asked, his voice cold and icy. I had never seen him look more wolf-like or feral.

I swallowed hard. "Both." I said at last.

Remus rolled his eyes. It was that little sanctimonious act that pushed me into hot speech.

"I think you're a hypocrite." I said in a trembling voice. "I kissed you back in June, remember? I made my feelings crystal clear for you. And what did you do? You ran away from me. For a Gryffindor, you're a coward."

Remus threw his book down and leapt to his feet. He was shaking with rage. "You ripped my heart out, Amber. And now you stand here acting like this is _my _fault!"

"It _is _your fault!" I shouted back, surprised that tears weren't in my eyes. "Your stupid fault! I loved you! I wanted to give us a chance, but you were too chicken to find out if we could have worked out. So I guess you'll only date girls like Angelina, stupid, puffed-up, vain, selfish _wenches _who stab their friends in the back, but you won't date someone like me until it's too late!"

Remus was livid. "How dare you." He said, his voice breaking. "She's dead! She can't defend herself! Don't you dare start in on Angelina!"

"Why not?" I shot back, past sugar-coating, past calm reason. Miles past. "Because you're afraid to face the awful fact that she was a terrible person? Or maybe you'd rather stay in your pretend little world, where everything is okay and on _your _time. Well, guess what, Remus? Just because it took _you _six months to have the guts to tell me how you really feel and _do _something about it doesn't mean that I have to waste my life _waiting _on you to be ready!"

Remus's eyes narrowed. "So that's it, is it?" He asked, his voice low and dripping with restrained fury. He lashed out with his leg and kicked the glass jar of flames with his foot. The jar didn't break, but instead rolled several feet away in the snow, the flames jostling about inside. "This is your way of getting revenge on me? How mature of you. I'm sure Virginia would be so proud to know her sister is a-"

I slapped him hard across the face before he could finish. For a fleeting, terrifying moment, his green eyes flashed tawny-yellow, the same color of the werewolf's eyes when it had tried to attack me. Then he blinked, and he was my green-eyed Remus again.

"Don't you _ever _talk about her." I whispered, tears coming now, burning hot and carrying the weight of impossible grief with them. "It's over, Remus."

Remus reached out, but I smacked his arm away. He had broached the forbidden subject, crossed the line I warned him to never toe. There would be no going back now.

"You love me." He said roughly as I turned away and began the solitary march back to the castle. "And I love you too."

I turned around and stomped toward him. I slapped him again. Remus caught my wrists as I fought to break free. I wanted to fight. I wanted to burn off the tension that had been growing between us for months. I wanted to be done with my feelings for him, stronger and more volatile than anything I had ever felt for Sean.

"Stop fighting me!" Remus said. I struggled harder, but he had always been so much stronger physically. Weeping, I gave up, wilting against him like a dead plant. He held me tightly, and as much as I wanted to push away, I couldn't. He felt more like home than my own house, more than Hogwarts.

"We can't be together, Remus." I said at last, listening to his heart beating strongly against my ear, which was pressed against his hard chest. "I can't do this anymore."

Remus was silent, but I knew he was thinking, knew that there were words he wanted to say but remained unspoken. When he finally released me, he wiped at my tears, his face full of pain and a hard resolve that made my own heart twist inside of me.

"We need time." I said, my voice rough from shouting. "I love Sean, Remus."

Remus gazed at me, resigned. "I don't want to lose our friendship. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"We fight all the time." I reminded him. "Friends don't do that."

"Yes, they do." He corrected me. "Real friends aren't afraid to fight. They aren't afraid to challenge each other's' trust. Amber, listen to me. I know you're upset with me, and you have every right to be. I almost killed you last night. But hear me out. Please. How about we come to an agreement? That's the mature thing to do."

I let out a shaky breath, allowing a small smile. "Alright. What's your proposal?"

Remus shoved his hands into his pockets. "We aren't together now. So, here's what we do: you do your thing, and I do mine. And in the end, if we're together…"

"Then it's beautiful." I finished, dragging my hand through my hair.

"Yeah." Remus said, a tired smile on his scarred face. "I guess we've got to grow up sometime, huh?"

"I guess." I replied, looking out across the lake as the snow came down harder. A pale tentacle rose from the center, followed by the slow hump of a large body, like a whale. The giant squid disappeared beneath the surface again, and I could feel Remus staring at me.

"I'm sorry." He said at last. "For everything."

"Me too." I said quietly. In that moment, I decided that to remind him of his condition and what he had almost done last night was no longer important. It was time to grow up. I sniffed hard, my nose running from the chilly air, and said, "Can we go back to the castle now? I'm cold."

Remus stared at me, silent. I could feel the unspoken thoughts filling the space between us, crackling like electricity. But instead of reopening the wound, I picked up the jar of blue flames and cradled it to my chest. "I need to get ready for my detention."

Remus laughed as he kept pace with me alongside the snowy lake. "You got detention too? James is booked solid for the next three weeks."

"That makes three of us." I said sadly. "Severus, me, and James. I guess we're lucky we didn't get expelled."

Remus made a noise of assent. "Lucky you two got there before…"

"Lucky." I agreed solemnly, as we left behind our strife and walked ahead into the snow-white future.

* * *

The following three weeks full of detentions and crushing weight of classwork made it nearly impossible to sneak away with the other Marauders. We managed to find time every month to hide underneath James' Invisibility Cloak and scour the castle for hidden rooms and tunnels, filling out the Map as we explored. As the weeks rolled into months, I stayed true to my promise to Sean and to Remus. Sean and I corresponded daily by owl; Remus and I remained friends, allowing the blazing fire of our mutual attraction to dwindle down into docile embers. The harsh grip of winter relaxed as spring melted the last vestiges of snow. The mountains glowed green and purple as the grass returned and flowers burst forth. Leaves regrew on the trees, and as June approached, the first tantalizing scents of summer flowed into the open windows and doorways of Hogwarts castle.

As final exams neared, I found myself spending less time sneaking around the castle with the Marauders and much more of it cloistered in the library, surrounded by piles of books and notes that I had spent the entire year creating. James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Lily, and Zoey sat at the table with me, most of us with our noses inches from the pages we were reading. Only Sirius and James seemed utterly carefree and blaise about the impending exams. They were creating origami from their notes and bewitching them to move or fly about the library. Every few minutes, Madam Pince would emit a screech of outrage and combust the origami. Sirius and James would respond by making more of their origami army.

Remus and Zoey had begun dating the month prior. Even though I had felt a stab of jealous pain upon initial discovery, I had pushed it firmly into the recesses of my mind and focused instead on our promise and on my relationship with Sean. I hadn't seen him since Christmas holiday, and we had arranged for him to meet me at my house the day after I returned home to Bellinghall for summer. It was less than a week away.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake," Lily snapped as a miniature paper tiger walked across her book. "Do you _mind_? Some of us would like to pass the fourth year and make it to fifth!"

"My apologies, your royal Highness," James said drolly.

"I love seeing our favorite redhead so fired up." Sirius said gleefully as Lily drew her wand out, jabbing at him.

"I'm warning you, Black," she said in a heated undertone.

My gaze drifted to the other end of the library. Severus was ensconced at a table in the darkness. Regulus, Avery, and Nott were with him. His black gaze was fixed on Lily's back, which was turned to him. The two had spent less and less time together since Christmas holiday, but when they did, Lily was always happy that they were still friends.

I had been surprised when she and Harry had ended their relationship amicably at the end of April, and even more surprised that Severus hadn't seized his chance and asked her out. Several more boys had jumped at the chance to be her new boyfriend, but Lily turned them all down, including James, after giving him a sound lashing with her tongue on why he was a toe-rag.

Mara Smith strode across the library crammed with studying students. She was wearing robes of jade today, which made her eyes almost emerald. Her luxuriant dark hair was twisted into an elegant French braid, making her look like a princess. I had taken Professor Smith's advice to heart and put the search for answers concerning my visions at the back of my mind. They were on hold until I graduated Hogwarts, and for the first time, I had felt at peace.

But the look Mara wore now made those old feelings of curiosity and dread creep back up like weeds. Everyone looked up as she approached, especially Sirius, who had been infatuated with our teacher ever since the _Levicorpus _incident. She gave him a gracious smile which made him turn dark pink.

"Pardon the interruption." Mara said quietly, her dark eyes traveling to me. "Amber, may I borrow you for a moment?"

A strange sense of foreboding spread through me as I stared back into her perfect, lovely face. I had not been alone with my Defense Against the Dark Arts professor since the night at the Quidditch pitch, making it a point not to do so. Her mother said she was trustworthy. But I still wasn't convinced.

"I guess so." I said calmly, though my heart began to pound. Remus began to rise. He looked sick and nauseated; the full moon was only a couple days away.

"There will be no need for anyone else to come with us." Mara said in a sweet voice. "Please keep studying. You'll need to, with the exam I have in mind. Amber, can you gather your things? We won't be returning before dinner."

My palms were slick with sweat as I packed up my things. I could feel the entire table watching me, with the exception of Zoey, who hadn't stopped once in her studying.

"I'll see you all at dinner." I told them, my gaze lingering on the faces of Lily and Remus, who both gave tiny nods. They would know to come looking for me if I didn't come to supper.

"Alright, let's go." Mara said, taking a few of my books. I had ten to carry, plus my book bag full of notes and parchment. We exited the full library, the entire castle silent with the concentration of hundreds of studying students.

"I remember taking exams just a few years ago." Mara said, looking nostalgic. "They're so terrifying and intimidating, but once they're over, it'll feel like a breeze. Kind of like vomiting."

"I suppose." I said vaguely, tensed for action. I didn't know what she was planning or if I could trust her.

"This way." She said, walking purposefully toward the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. I stopped, wary. "Do I have to carry all of my books with me?"

Mara blinked. "Oh, right. Here, I'll take care of this." She tapped my load with her wand, and they Vanished. "They'll be in your room now. Come on. There's something you need to hear."

Filled with even more trepidation, I followed her uneasily through the empty corridors and up the moving staircases. I wondered if this was how people felt when they were being kidnapped. _Stop being ridiculous. _I told myself, giving myself a firm mental shake. _She's a teacher. She's Professor Smith's daughter! She isn't going to hurt you._

_Right?_

We arrived at her classroom after a few minutes of wordless walking. I followed her up the small staircase into her office. I drew my wand out carefully, bracing myself for whatever came.

Professor Smith's daughter had redecorated her mother's former office to her own liking. There was a ladder-like bookshelf filled with titles like "_Magicke Moste Evile_" and "_The Dark Arts: Misnomer or Misunderstood?_" and "_Quidditch Through the Ages_". There was a large tapestry bearing Slytherin's emblem behind her desk, as well as a banner for the Montrose Magpies. Her mother's office had felt like stepping into a space devoted to knowledge and magic; this place felt like a secret ward accessible only to a select few. It felt dangerous, like the Shrieking Shack. My grip tightened on my wand.

"I hope you'll forgive me for being a Slytherin," Mara said baldly as she traipsed around her office, her gold necklace winking in the sunlight. "I'm quite proud of my House. Did you know that Merlin was a Slytherin?"

"So was Lord Voldemort." I said evenly. Mara raised a brow, offering me a glass of iced tea.

"Mom said this is your favorite," Mara said. "Unsweetened iced tea?"

"That's right." I said, watching her. "You should have some too. You look thirsty."

Mara laughed, pouring herself a glass from a pitcher. She was graceful and enthusiastic, and I wondered if that was something she'd inherited from her mother, or her father. I couldn't picture Professor Smith ever being this buoyant or exuberant; she was stoic and reserved, so unlike her charismatic daughter. Unwillingly, I took my own glass of iced tea and sipped. It tasted normal enough.

"I know my mother likes to ease her way into heavy subjects, but I'm not like my mother in that regard." said Mara, her dark eyes fixed on me. "I'm told that you came into possession of a necklace a few years ago, and that it might be the real thing."

"The real thing?" I echoed, playing dumb.

Mara chuckled and drank more iced tea. "The opal necklace you were given? Except they're harkenine shards, not opals. And even though Dumbledore thought it was a copy of Flamel's necklace, I've been told it's the real thing."

"I don't understand." I said, frowning. Real confusion replaced the facade. I took another sip, my mouth dry.

Mara steepled her fingers. "My mother doesn't want me to tell you this. She thinks you're too young to handle it. But I disagree. I think that at nearly fifteen years old, you're old enough to know the truth."

Coldness gripped my heart. I placed the iced tea down on her desk, trying to hide my excitement and my fear. "I don't know… your mother has her reasons. I trust her."

"Do you trust me?" She asked bluntly.

When I didn't answer, a faint smile pulled at her red lips. "I didn't think so. At least you're smart. It's refreshing to see someone your age with a mind of her own and a sensitive gut instinct. That might save your life someday."

"Maybe even today." I hedged, devising a way to leave her office without arousing suspicion that I would be going straight to Dumbledore.

Mara's eyes changed subtly. I felt a strange brushing sensation in my mind. I tried to throw up a wall against the intrusive force, but I had never been that good at Occlumency. Images appeared in my vision: Remus and I at the beech tree, Professor Smith in the Hog's Head, Angelina's face just before she'd died, Lily and I braiding each other's hair, Christmas Day when Virginia had given me the necklace.

The images ceased, and I was back in the office. Mara was regarding me with keen interest now. I felt oddly breathless, my heart thumping painfully against my ribcage.

"Where did your sister get that necklace?" Mara asked.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully.

"You have visions." She said, raising her thin brows. "Of the past and the future."

"Yes." I said, surprised that I was unable to lie, when I had intended to tell her 'no'.

"Does anything trigger those visions?" Mara asked.

'No', I meant to say, but instead I found myself saying, "The necklace, sometimes."

Mara stared at me for a long moment. Then she unclasped the pendant she wore around her neck for most of the year and passed it to me. It took me a full moment to realize what it was.

"You…"

"Not to worry," Mara said, her voice light in spite of my outraged expression. "This necklace is the copy my mother thought you'd possessed originally. The true necklace - _your _necklace - isn't here."

"Where is it?" I asked her flatly. "Does Dumbledore have it?"

"I can't tell you that." She said frankly. "But wouldn't you like to know who Sapphira Peverell was? Why you can see through her eyes? Why Julian Gray is dead, and why Folsom is a vampire?"

Professor Smith's words of warning came flooding back. I struggled to resist the temptation her daughter offered to me now, to stay strong in my promise I'd made to wait until I was older and ready for the answers she supposedly had.

"Come on, Amber," Mara said cajolingly, her dark eyes glittering in the afternoon sun, "don't you want to know? Aren't you tired of being in the dark?"

"I think I should leave." I said, standing abruptly.

"If you leave now, you'll have to wait years for this kind of opportunity again." She warned.

"I'm trying this thing called 'patience'." I snapped. "I'll see you during exams."

Before I could open the door handle to her office, I felt a curious sensation of my arm being plunged into a bucket of cold water. Half-turning, I let out a cry of alarm as I recognized the ghost who had reached out for me.

"Julian." I managed, unnerved by the intensity of the stare he had fixed me with. Floating just behind him beside Mara's desk was the shimmering, somber ghost of Ravenclaw, the daughter of Rowena Ravenclaw.

"We will not force you to stay." Julian said in his soft, solemn voice. His ghostly hand remained on my extended forearm. "But I implore you to remain."

My gaze slid across the three of them; Mara, with her mysterious and unreadable expression, Julian's quiet pleading, and finally, Helena Ravenclaw's look of almost-desperation. It was her uncharacteristic display of powerful emotion that compelled me to release the door handle and step back into the office.

"I'm listening." I said slowly, blatantly drawing my wand with one hand. "And I'm armed."

"As I can see." Mara said, sounding amused. "I don't doubt that you could put up a good fight in a duel."

"I've done it before." I retorted, thinking of Angelina. I hated this confusing kaleidoscope of emotion that warred within me: could Mara be trusted as a spy for Dumbledore, or was she actually serving Lord Voldemort? It was impossible to decipher the truth.

"I would like to tell you my story." Helena Ravenclaw said at last. "I pray that it might help provide some insight and answers into your plight."

I gave a wry smile. "And pray tell, dear lady," I said sarcastically, "why should I listen to what you have to say? Should I base my confidence on Mara's word? That in itself doesn't merit much credit with me."

Mara's eyes flickered, but she remained silent. I could feel Julian staring at me, but I refused to back down or take back what I'd said. My heart pounded with the spiraling silence, bracing myself to duel.

But Helena merely gave a tiny shake of her head. "Perhaps you will listen with open ears to what I have to say. You see, nearly a thousand years ago, Sapphira Peverell was my closest friend."


	67. The Gray Lady

**One more chapter to go y'all! How did this already get over 400,000 words? This chapter was a doozie to write and I had to be very careful with what I gave away/kept secret. Who is Sapphira Peverell? What does the Gray Lady have to do with everything? Well, now you get to find out.. SOME of it ;) Mwahaha. Shameless cliffhanger warning, but I promise I will deliver the final chapter of book 4 as soon as I can. Hoping for tomorrow, but we are supposed to get walloped by snow in my neck of the country, so bear with me if we lose power and it won't be updated till Sunday/Monday. You guys are the BEST and I'm so honored to have such loyal and amazing readers. You guys make this all worth it 3 **

* * *

Helena Ravenclaw clasped her hands together as I waited for her to speak. Though she was dead and a ghost, she took a steadying inhale as if she could still breathe. When she opened her eyes again, they were full of great suffering and remorse.

"My mother, Rowena Ravenclaw, had me at a very late age. She and my father Godric Gryffindor lived in a time when wizards attained great ages, when magical people averaged two hundred years old for a lifespan. Sapphira and I were both born in 1220. In our first years, she was Sorted into Gryffindor, and I was Sorted in Ravenclaw. I was the first Hatstall of the school, nearly being placed in Gryffindor myself. But like you, I was Sorted into Ravenclaw.

"We were both children of powerful witches and wizards. I myself was considered a bit of a princess, due to my parents being who they were. Sapphira was the opposite. While I embraced my status as a quasi-royal, she rebelled. While I would memorize sonnets, she would ride horseback in the forests. When I would practice guitar and sing, she would shoot arrows at targets in the fields of the castle. I loved dresses; she preferred tunics. Sapphira was a wild, untameable spirit, and I envied her passion with concealed envy. My parents, especially my mother, molded me and trained me in the magical arts. Sapphira forged her own path, forsaking the advice of her family and fashioning her own way.

"We became close in our first year. I had no siblings, and she had three older brothers and no sisters. We both found that missing sisterhood in one another and were inseparable. When we were sixteen, the Council revealed that she was a Seer. Back in those days, before the Ministry of Magic existed, there was a collection of elected officials in a group called the Council. It was a democracy and functioned quite well, for the most part. After they revealed that she was a Seer, people started treating her differently. Seers have always been rare, only one or two being born every century. Now, _she _was the princess, and I was the forgotten, lesser sister once again. Even my own mother preferred Sapphira, wishing to learn about her extremely rare ability. It was even rarer that she possessed the ability to See both past _and _future events. She is the only Seer in history to ever possess the double sight of being a Seer. And though I was jealous, our sisterhood never failed.

"However, in our final year at school, I discovered that she had been in an affair with our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Salvatore Slytherin. Even though his nickname was Dusk, I never once called him by it. How strange it was to me that my sister could fall in love with a century-old vampire, grandson of Salazar Slytherin. Of course, you know what Salazar Slytherin did?"

"He left the school," I said slowly, remembering the incident from one of History of Magic lessons. "He thought only pure-bloods should be taught by the school. And when the other three Founders didn't agree, he broke away from them."

"He broke their hearts." Helena said bitterly. "My parents were devastated. Helga Hufflepuff took it hardest of all, perhaps because she believed in unity more than any of them. Salazar Slytherin became as taboo as Lord Voldemort, and Professor Salvatore Slytherin was feared more than any other teacher or student in the school. He was a vampire, which made him even more fearsome. Yet, for whatever reasons, he and Sapphira were deeply in love. More so than nearly anyone else, even after almost a thousand years of roaming this world…

"Sapphira was there for me, even when I disappointed my parents, even when I could be jealous and brooding. We had our moments of disagreement, especially over her love affair with our teacher, but I kept her secrets. The two married in secret after she graduated. And for a few years, I believed that we would all be happy. At least, we could agree to live in harmony.

"But then she was taken from us. She was murdered by a scoundrel named Cygnus Scower, from their rival village. There was nothing we could do to save her. She died on September 9th, 1244. She was only twenty-four years old. I, of course, survived for only a few years beyond that. I was twenty-six when the Bloody Baron came for me, sent by my dying mother, when I was living in Albania. And just as my sister was taken from this life, I too was murdered by a man's hand."

"The Bloody Baron?" I managed. "The Slytherin Ghost _murdered _you?"

"Indeed." said the Ravenclaw Ghost darkly. "And that foul beast is doomed to walk this earth for eternity, haunted by what he has done. He shall forevermore be reminded of what he did before taking his own life out of guilt for ending mine. Those silver stains on his clothes are the ghosts of my blood."

My brain felt heavy, full, as if it couldn't absorb much more new information. I stared at Helena Ravenclaw, completely oblivious to Mara Smith and Julian Gray. "Why are you telling me all of this? What does any of this have to do with me?"

"As you know," Helena said quietly, never blinking, "Sapphira was a Seer. In my life, I have only ever been truly envious of two objects: my mother's diadem, and Sapphira's necklace. When she was thirteen, it was given to her as a gift. She never told me who bestowed it upon her, though I have always suspected it was a gift from Professor Salvatore Slytherin. That necklace was made with shards of harkenine. When she died, she did not remain as a ghost. But it seems that her powers remain in her necklace, magically manifested by own skill before she drew her last breath."

I didn't realize how badly I was shaking until I dropped my wand. It clattered to the floor of the office, and I found myself unable to move to pick it up. My mouth was as dry as cotton, and my mind buzzed like a hive of bees, unable to keep up with the amount of what Helena had just told me. "So the necklace…"

"A second necklace was made a few hundred years later by Nicolas Flamel." Helena said gravely. "A copy. It was originally a gift for his wife, Perenelle. It was to be passed down the generations of his family. The original necklace given to Sapphira was in my possession until my death. Professor Salvatore Slytherin discovered my body, alongside the Bloody Baron's. He took the original for himself."

"Then… how… what necklace is this one?" I asked, looking to the one Mara had.

"That one is the copy, created by Nicolas Flamel. The original remains hidden."

"How did it get taken from Professor Slytherin? Is it still alive?"

"That I cannot say." Helena said softly. "I stole my mother's diadem, and I stole Sapphira's necklace from her grave. I couldn't let it be buried with her. I wanted a part of my sister to remain with me while I lived, even though she was gone."

I stared at her, tears filling my eyes. I felt the exact same way about the necklace that Virginia had given me. At her funeral, I was going to allow it to be buried with her. Naomi had stopped me and insisted that I keep it. I felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude towards my youngest sister for what she had done, and a terrible sense of loss as I again realized that Virginia was dead.

"Your visions are exactly as Sapphira's were." Helena told me. "Past, and present. I believe that you can See through her eyes because of her powers she left in that necklace."

"But why do I get visions even without the necklace on?" I asked desperately, wishing to understand, to connect the dots and finally fill in the puzzle with the missing pieces. "How come I can See, when I'm not a Seer?"

"Powerful magic always leaves traces." Helena said, and her grief was more pronounced than ever. "The magic Sapphira left behind in her necklace has stayed alive and well throughout the centuries. And it has left its traces upon you, too."

I sank back against the wall, gripping it for support. I still had so many questions, so many holes I wanted filled. "How did my sister get the necklace?"

"I do not know." Helena said quietly.

"Why did she get sick? What did she have that killed her?"

"I do not know." She said, more gently this time.

"Can _she _be trusted?" I asked hotly, pointing an accusing finger at Mara. "Or is she acting on Lord Voldemort's orders?"

"Mara's mission lies beyond your reach," Julian said, startling me. "But perhaps now, you can see what happened to my family."

Mara held out the copy of the necklace, the one that looked identical to the one that Sapphira Peverell had once worn. The four of us touched the pendant at the same time - two ghosts and two living beings - and I felt the familiar dizziness blackening the edges of my vision.

"Brace yourself." Mara warned, as the office disappeared in a burst of white light.

* * *

The office was gone. I stood inside of a dark, musty-smelling room filled with broken furniture and dusty bookshelves. Broken windows lined the sagging walls, and there a stench of disuse and abandonment that made my nostrils flare. I did not have a wand, but I knew that I was safe. This was only a vision. I drifted through the black room, seeing a flickering orange light glowing at the top of a staircase. I followed the source of warm light, smelling woodsmoke as I came closer.

At first, I didn't recognize the broken and shattered picture frames on the walls. The occupants had been inside of them so long that they no longer moved. But then I saw them: Helena and Sapphira, the former wearing an elegant ballgown while the former donned a ripped tunic.

At first, I thought I was inside of the Shrieking Shack. But when I peered outside of the closest broken window, I saw nothing but thick, black trees and curling silvery mist threading through the tall trunks. I guessed that I was somewhere in the Forbidden Forest.

"My Lord… my Lord… I cannot wait any longer. I must be transformed, now. Please, my Lord… I have been a good and faithful servant. Please, do not deny me this gift."

I followed the familiar voice, which was still high-pitched and arrogant, but not yet haughty and cold. Standing before a flickering fire was a human Folsom, in his late twenties, his long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. He was wearing maroon and burgundy robes, his flesh visibly pink and living. He looked agitated and upset.

"Why do you bother me, Mackenzie?" a deep, frozen voice said, and I realized I was looking at a high-backed, throne-like chair. It was backwards, the front facing the blazing hearth. The sound of the cold voice made goosebumps rise on my skin. Whoever owned that voice was evil, full of darkness. I could sense it like a malevolent presence filling the space.

Folsom swallowed hard, wringing his hands. "My Lord… please. I have waited long enough. I have served you faithfully all these long years. I see how Voldemort prosperes. I see how Willow survives, even thrives, despite her defection. I have remained constant in your service. Please, Master. I am nearly thirty years old, and still I am-"

"Be silent." The icy voice commanded, and Folsom closed his mouth like a trap. I watched sweat roll down his face, his hands trembling in terror.

"You annoy me with your frivolous request, Mackenzie." The voice growled. "Can you not wait on my promise? Did I not promise you that I would one day grant you the secret to immortality?"

Folsom licked his lips. "You did, Master, but I…"

"But you what?" demanded the voice. "Do you doubt my promise? Do you suspect my word is not to be kept?"

"No, my Lord… I do know you will keep your promise. I believe you."

"Liar." whispered the voice, and the blood drained from Folsom's face.

"Master." Folsom beseeched, spreading his hands, "I promise you, I will not fail. I will punish Willow for her betrayal. I will not rest until her blood is on my hands."

"So you have said for over a year." The voice sneered. "And how much longer will you take to fulfill your oath? You swore to collect her payment for her treason. You said yourself that you would carry out the punishment for her crimes."

"I did, my Lord, and I will. I swear I will. But she is too well-guarded… too strong…"

"You cannot beat a woman? A descendant of weak, meager, simpering Helga Hufflepuff? I pity the day you ever walked into my domain, Folsom… what a useless fool you are, as a human…"

Folsom looked paler than ever. Trembling, he swallowed, evidently mustering his courage, and said, "Master, forgive me… but perhaps, if you changed me, if _you _gave me the gift of immortality…"

"You said yourself you did not wish for the path I walked." the voice reminded him coldly. "Tom, or 'Voldemort', as he prefers now, chose Horcruxes. Willow chose the necklace of Perenelle. You still have not made up your mind."

"I thought the Elixir of Life might be suitable choice."

The owner of the voice laughed loudly, without any trace of mirth or humor. It raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

"Foolish boy!" He shouted, and the fire blazed forth, bright and spitting sparks forth into the room. "Must you never grasp what I have told you? Relying on such a substance to grant you immortality… your friends chose the smarter way. I had no choice when I became what I am. You, however, do. The Elixir of Life and unicorn's blood may sustain you, but only if you take it regularly! What if your supply dried up? You would be dead within days."

Folsom trembled harder than ever. "That is why… Master… I have chosen the path you have chosen. I seek your will. I crave your ways. Please, grant me the gift of vampirism. I swear I will never regret it."

There was silence from the chair. "So, even though you have not fulfilled your promise to destroy Willow Smith, you wish for me to have faith and mercy, and transform you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Very well." The cold voice said in an awful tone of finality. "This is a gift, however, that you may not thank me for, once you have opened it…"

Folsom paled again as the owner of the voice rose from his throne-like chair. If I could have screamed, I would have.

The figure was not human. It looked like at one point in its life, it may have been. But longer. The reptilian creature was tall, nearly seven feet, with a bald pate and scaly soot-colored skin. Its eyes were almond-shaped and snake-like, blood-red and glowing in the semi-darkness. The fingers were like claws, long, cruel, and sharp. The nose was long and snout-like, and two horrendous, long fangs jutted from the mouth. The reptilian creature wore a sweeping black cloak, a gold chain glittering around its neck. Before Folsom could run, the awful creature grasped him by the arms and jerked him toward him. Then the sharp fangs sank into the neck of Folsom, who screamed in agony. The reptilian vampire cut his forearm and pressed the bleeding wound to Folsom's mouth, who swallowed the blood and collapsed onto the antique rug, sobbing uncontrollably and clapping his hands over his bleeding neck. The evil creature gazed down at him with a mixture of cruel satisfaction and sadistic pleasure.

"Enjoy your new life." He said coldly, wiping his mouth and tasting the blood as if it was sweet syrup.

My vision blurred again, and when it cleared I was standing outside of a small townhouse in what appeared to be London. Folsom was standing at the door, his composure regained, his pain clearly over. But this was not the human Folsom I had seen just minutes ago. This was the snow-white, cold vampire Folsom I knew from my waking moments. There were two red circles on his neck, healing puncture marks from when the creature had bitten him.

Folsom knocked. A moment later, the door swung open, revealing a dark-haired, dark-eyed young woman who burst into tears at the sight of him. "Oh, Mackenzie! You've come home! Darling, I didn't hear from you for three days! I thought something awful had befallen you! Come inside, you look frozen to death!"

"Emilia." Mackenzie rasped, his ice-blue eyes changing to scarlet. "My love."

I felt sick, knowing what was going to happen. I couldn't close my eyes this time or leave the vision as Folsom stepped inside of the house and allowed the woman to embrace him. But after their kiss, his lips found her neck, and she let out a terrible scream as his fangs sunk in deep.

Two small children, little girls no older than five, appeared at the sounds of their mother's screaming. They both watched as their father finished on her, and then beckoned to them, letting her body drop softly to the couch nearby.

"Elsa," Folsom said coaxingly, his mouth dripping scarlet, "Ania."

The two blonde girls ran to him. This time, I managed to stare at the corner of the wall as Folsom did to his two daughters what he had just done to his lover. My gaze snapped back to the gruesome scene as the front door swung open again, this time as a young boy with black hair and piercing blue eyes came upon the living room.

"My _GOD!"_ He breathed, staring at the bodies of his family and at Folsom. "You… you…"

"My son." Folsom said, spreading his arms to him. "Welcome home."

The boy paled, tears filling his eyes. Before Folsom could reach Julian, the boy yanked a cross pendant from his shirt. Folsom shrieked and leapt back.

"Begone!" Julian sobbed. "Begone, Father!"

Folsom blinked. The sound of his family name seemed to register with something deep inside of him. The scarlet eyes returned to blue. His gaze swept over the room, over the bodies of his lover Emilia Gray and his daughters Elsa and Ania, and he covered his mouth with his hands.

"My love!" He gasped. "My daughters! Oh, no! NO!"

"Begone!" Julian shouted again, his voice breaking.

Folsom stared at his son. I watched as he zeroed in on his son's neck. In the fever pitch of emotion, his jugular pulsed wildly. Folsom's blue eyes turned scarlet once more and he began to stalk toward Julian, humanity gone, monstrous hunger completely overtaking him.

"_Lumos solem!_" Julian wept, and the beam of sunlight that struck his father brought a screech of pain and the flash of black as his father leapt out of the open window and disappeared into the night.

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, I was standing in Mara's office once more. I dropped back against the wall, sinking to my knees, stunned and horrified at what I had just witnessed.

"Here. Try this." Mara said, bewitching my iced tea glass to float across the office towards me. Numbly, I took it, drinking deeply in spite of the intensifying urge to vomit. The cold liquid spread a strange numbing sensation throughout my body, and I found the violent shaking easing until it stopped altogether.

_Do not go looking for answers, _Professor Smith had warned me back in the Hog's Head. _You aren't ready for what you will find. There is a world beyond the safe realm of Hogwarts that you know. Evil and magic exist that you cannot even comprehend._

Like Pandora's box, I had opened the lid from the secrets contained within. Some of the answers I sought had been revealed. Graphically, brutally, irrevocably.

"What did you see?" Mara prompted.

I drank deeply, craving more of the numbing effect the tea had. "I saw Folsom… I saw your father become a vampire."

Mara's brows drew up. "You still think Folsom is my father?"

"I don't know. He seems like a good enough guess."

"My father committed a heinous crime." Julian said quietly. "He traded his human life for immortality. The price he paid was more than he could bear. But his hold onto the shreds of humanity within him did not burn until my death a few years later."

"Who killed you?" I asked hoarsely. "Not your father?"

"You saw who killed me." said Julian simply.

I shuddered at the thought of the evil black reptile-like man. "That thing… what _was _that?"

"A very old and ancient vampire." Mara said.

"Folsom called him _Master_." I recalled quietly. "_Master…_ why do I feel like I've seen that thing before? Who _is _he?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." Mara replied, spreading her hands. "Julian is cursed. He cannot reveal the identity of who did this to him. But your necklace, and our combined touch, seems to have overridden his enchantment."

"Could it… oh, I don't know…" I mumbled, still rattled by what I'd seen. "Maybe Salazar Slytherin?"

"It's crossed my mind." Mara said. "But I believe this might be a creature that tried to become human. Instead, it walks the planet as a vampire."

"I don't know." I said, setting down the iced tea and burying my face in my hands, wishing I could erase the horrors of what I had just seen. "I don't want to know anymore."

"Amber," Mara said urgently. "You may hold the key to unlocking these secrets. Secrets that might save not just your friends, but the entire world."

"How?" I asked heavily, feeling like my heart weighed twenty pounds. "Because of these visions? Why can't anyone else See like I can, since the necklace has traces of power?"

"Because you are-" Helena began, but the door to the office suddenly burst open. Standing in the archway was Professor Willow Smith.

I now understood why she had been able to defect from the Death Eaters and live to tell the tale.

A powerful aura like heat thrown from a furnace emanated from the woman, whose scar was more pronounced than ever as her gaze scanned the room, coming to rest on her daughter. Mara rose slowly from her chair, face unreadable.

"Daughter," Willow said at last, in a cold voice trembling with fury, "what have you done?"

"I am acting on orders, Mother," Mara said evenly, though I could feel the tension in the air like an impending thunderstorm, "stay out of this."

"Clearly, your orders are not the same as mine!" Willow thundered, and the entire office shook and trembled. "Do you have any idea what trouble you have caused? What kind of damage you may have inflicted upon her?"

"She had the right to know!" Mara shouted, her dark green eyes blazing with black fire. "Unlike you, I believe that people have the right to know their identity! They have the right to know who they are!"

"You are angry with me because I withhold the identity of your father from you." Willow said in a tone of steel. "Do you have any idea how much havoc your actions have just wreaked upon us?"

"You exaggerate." Mara said coolly. "Amber has the right to know _why_."

"Yes, she does!" Willow flashed back, and one of the windows blew out. I flinched, but Mara didn't back down. "Amber has the right to know _at the right time!_"

"Know what?" I asked, surprising everyone, including myself, with my question. Numb, I looked between mother and daughter, between the ghosts. "What am I not supposed to know?"

Mara and Willow glared at each other. "She has the right to know, Mother." Mara gritted.

"She is too _young_!" Willow snarled. "That is my final word! Not as your mother, but as your superior in the Order!"

Mara's black eyes flashed. She hissed something in a strange way, like she was having a fit or some sort of seizure. But her expression was clear, sane. Willow made the same guttural, hissing noises, as if they were having an intense, private debate. Finally, Mara's eyes narrowed, and she was silent.

Without understanding what they had just said, I could sense the balance tipping back in favor of Willow. She had regained control of the situation. The energy in the room abated, leaving me feeling cold and weak. Julian fixed me with a somber stare, before disappearing entirely. Helena Ravenclaw remained.

"I dreamt about you," I said quietly. "Last summer. I dreamt about your death."

Helena watched me, her expression enigmatic. "I know."

"Thank you for your honesty." I said at last, even though I wished I had never seen any of it.

Helena drifted towards me, her eyes shadowed. "The one who stole your book is a friend who is not a friend." She hesitated, then added, "I am sorry that I disrupted your life with this tale. You remind me very much of Sapphira, and perhaps I forgot my place."

"Perhaps you did." Willow said in a frosty tone that held no forgiveness.

Helena bowed her head. "I only wish to see this old evil vanquished, once and for all." She clasped her hands together once more. "Forgive me."

I held her gaze as she slipped through the stone wall. Mara and Willow were hissing at each other again, in that weird language.

"May I go?" I asked haltingly.

"Not yet." Willow said sharply. "I will not remove your memory, nor will I modify it, as much as I'd like to as to spare you the lingering emotions from what you've just seen. However, I would like to talk to you, allow you to vent what you are feeling and possibly allow questions. I believe that will help speed along your recovery."

I looked at the both of them, at a loss. Where did I even begin?

"Amber?" Willow prompted.

"I'm afraid to say anything." I admitted. "I mean, what's the point of even asking a question if you aren't even going to answer it?"

"Well, the cat's among the pixies now, unfortunately." said Willow darkly, looking at her daughter. "I can't take back what you already know without risking permanent injury to your memory."

I bit my lip, conflicting thoughts and emotions warring with each other. Did I want to know more? Or was I sated with the heavy knowledge that I now carried?

"I guess… I do have one question." I said uneasily. "How come all of this is happening to me? Why can't I just live a normal life like Lily? Like my friends?"

Willow and Mara exchanged a long look. "Because you're-" Mara began, but Willow held up a hand.

"No." said Willow firmly. "That question falls under the category of 'Need-to-Know'".

"Fine, then." I snapped. "What language were you two speaking?"

"Parseltongue." Mara said quickly, before Willow could stop her. "Some people are born with it, others learn."

"I want to learn." I said, unsure of where the words came from. "I want to learn how to speak it."

"Why?" Willow asked, raising a scarred brow.

"Because I'd like to be able to learn a second language." I said flatly. "Because it's something constructive. Is that enough reason?"

Mara and Willow gave me measured looks. They spoke again in that odd language. Then Willow sighed in resignation.

"Alright. I suppose after what you've just been through, especially this year, it wouldn't hurt for you to learn the language of snakes. Mara will teach you. You are not to talk about what you have just seen, is that quite understood?"

"Not even to Remus and Lily?"

Willow sighed again, rubbing her temples wearily. "I don't like it."

"Dumbledore allows her to share things with them." Mara tossed in.

"And their support means everything to me." I said honestly, swallowing against my dry throat. "Please. I need to be able to confide in them."

Willow's leaf-green eyes opened. "Very well. They appear to be outstanding young adults, as it is. I feel that they are indeed trustworthy. However, I will remind _both _of you to refrain any more from asking questions. You may not understand or appreciate it now, but timing is crucial. Especially when it concerns such a treacherous prophecy."

"Prophecy?" I said immediately. "What prophecy?"

Willow's face bloomed with red. "Nothing. When you are older, you will know. Now, off to the hospital wing. I'll escort you myself. You need a good dose of mandragora." She glared at her daughter, who lifted her chin defiantly. "I'll deal with you later."

"I look forward to it." Mara said coldly.

Willow gave her daughter a final look of warning, then swept out of the office with me. "I don't want mandragora." I told her, the shaking starting again. "I just want to talk to Remus and Lily."

"You can, after." Willow said firmly. "I can't believe this. I knew she would try for a slice of revenge eventually. Oh, if only she understood I keep her father's identity from her for a _reason_…"

"You won't tell me either, will you?" I asked nonchalantly.

Willow pretended not to hear me. We made it down two flights of stairs when Remus and Lily intercepted us. A look of powerful relief flooded their pale faces.

"Oh, Amber!" Lily exclaimed. "We were just coming to look for you! Hello, Professor Smith."

"Hello, Lily. Remus." Willow said graciously. "I can entrust you two to deliver this one to the hospital wing?"

Remus and Lily frowned. "Is everything alright?" Lily asked.

"Never you mind for now." Willow said shortly. "I must be getting along. Amber, remember what I said." She swept back up the stairs, leaving us behind.

Lily and Remus rounded on me. "Well?" Lily asked. "Is that your necklace?"

I looked down at my hand, which was clenched around the fake, the copy. "Yeah, it is. Mara gave it back to me. Listen, can we talk?"

"Of course." Remus said, his brows lifting. "Come on. I know a classroom that's been vacant the whole year. Let's talk there."

"Good." I said grimly. "Because I don't want us overheard."

In the empty classroom, I recounted what I had just seen to Remus and Lily. Remus turned varying shades of white, green, and pink, while Lily gasped and kept putting her hands over her mouth. Each time they tried to interrupt, I raised my voice and kept going, until the whole grim tale.

"...and then I found you two." I finished lamely. I felt like I had just drained a festering boil, as if something infected and vicious had been removed from my body. The looks of stunned disbelief on Remus and Lily's faces echoed my own heavy, tumultuous feelings.

"I knew there was something bizarre about that necklace." Lily said at last, her green eyes blazing. "Didn't I say that?"

"What are 'Horcruxes'?" Remus wondered aloud. "Surely the necklace and these 'horcruxes' must be a way to achieve immortality."

"Like vampirism." I added, the puzzle pieces trying over and over to fit inside of my mind. "I don't understand. I've never even heard of horcruxes before."

"Professor Smith said you shouldn't worry about this just now?" Lily said in disbelief. "How can you not? I feel like my brain's going to boil itself! We have to find out why and what-"

"Lily, _no._" Remus said sharply. "Didn't you hear what Amber said? Professor Smith _and _Professor Dumbledore said this must not be pursued right now."

"But that's so ridiculous!" Lily exclaimed. "Curiosity is one thing, but this whole thing sounds like something far bigger than anything we could have ever imagined!"

"Exactly." Remus said seriously. "Do you honestly three teenagers are equipped to deal with this sort of thing?"

"We're exceptional." Lily shot back fiercely. "We're all top students. We can all perform N.E.W.T. level magic, including corporeal Patronuses. Amber has some kind of Seer ability, you're a werewolf, and I'm the smartest out of the whole lot of us."

"Modest, Lily." I said dryly.

"We can't, Lily, not yet." Remus insisted. "I'm sure that Dumbledore and Smith have their reasons. If we can't trust them, then we can't trust anyone."

Lily tossed her long hair back angrily. "What do _you _think, Amber? You're the one who has visions and has to deal with this. What do you think?"

Remus shot her an irritated look. "Trying to force her to choose a side?"

"She's got to make the call." Lily said, fixing both of us in turn with her winsome smile. "It would be such an adventure. Think of what we might find, what we might uncover and learn! We should find out what this all means. Why you're always the one bad stuff happens to."

"Lily." Remus chided.

I looked between the both of them. Remus' expression was imploring; Lily's expectant. Both of them expected me to choose their respective side.

I closed my eyes, seeing Mara and Willow fighting over this very same thing just an hour ago. Mara and Lily wanted me to know the truth now. Remus, Willow, and Dumbledore all insisted that I wait.

Horcruxes. The necklaces. My dead sister. The visions. Mara's father. Folsom's bloody past. Willow's. Voldemort's. The Master's.

And most puzzling of all: why did Mara call me the key? And what prophecy were they talking about?

The mysteries I so desperately wanted solved taunted me from their cloaks of smoke and mist. So tempting, so alluring… as a Ravenclaw, I knew it was my nature to want to seek answers and find them. But I knew the truth of Helena Ravenclaw's warning given to me just a few months ago at the beginning of term: go looking for trouble, and you'll find it.

Just seeing what had happened to Folsom and the consequences of his vampirism haunted me. I would never be able to shake the sight of his dead family from my mind, nor would the ghost of his son fade from this castle. Then there was the unsavory idea that maybe my own parents knew more than I did about my life. That there was a reason why my father worked in the Department of Mysteries. That maybe he knew exactly what had made my sister so sick. That my own heritage foretold a tale too big for me to even comprehend, let alone question.

I let out a long breath, decision made. Lily sat up straighter. Remus clenched his fists in his lap.

"As much as I want to know _why_," I began slowly, not looking at either of them, "I agree with Dumbledore. It's not the right time."

Lily looked crestfallen. "Amber, you might not-"

"That's my last word." I told her in a tone full of finality. "I'm sorry, Lily, but I think you're wrong on this one. Maybe it's because you've never actually been through something terrifying and life-changing, like being attacked by a werewolf or having your sister die. But I'm not ready to open this Pandora's box." I hesitated, then added, "not yet."

Lily crossed her arms, offended. "Are you saying I'm spoiled and don't know anything about life?"

"I think she's saying that it's not the right time." Remus told her soothingly. "I agree, too. We've got enough to deal with right now."

"I still don't like it." Lily said mutinously.

"I don't either." I told her bluntly. "But to be honest, I've got bigger fish to fry."

"What could possibly be bigger than this?" Lily objected.

"How about our History of Magic exam tomorrow morning?"

Lily yelped, jumping to her feet. "Merlin's beard! I completely forgot about that one! Come on, if we hurry to the kitchens we can still get some coffee for an all-nighter of studying. And if we really need it, I think I've got some firewhiskey left over from when I was with Harry."

"_Lily_!" I exclaimed, stunned at this new, daring side of her.

"Oh, honestly, Amber," Lily said as she dragged Remus and I out of the room, "don't act like you're so innocent. You're a Marauder, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling at Remus over Lily, who returned the expression, "I guess I am."

* * *

The next two days were filled with exams and endless studying between tests. To my relief, everything seemed quite easy. All of the test material was based off of what we had learned cumulatively over the year, and I found myself finishing first or second in most classes (depending on how quickly Remus or Lily completed theirs). Remus looked increasingly ill and woe-begone, since the full moon was just hours away on the last day of exams.

The only exam I found challenging was Mara's. Instead of a written exam, she had us pair up and duel one another. The pairs were judged on spellwork, endurance, reflexes, and the duration of the fight. For an hour, I watched as my classmates fought each other, duelling for the victory. Most were quite boring and easy, since we weren't allowed to choose our partners and it was based on random selection. Remus looked sicker as class progressed, until just before the end he hunched over, gripping his stomach and groaning softly.

"Remus?" I whispered, afraid for him.

Remus was panting quietly, his eyes temporarily yellow. "I'm fine," he assured me in a strained voice. "Just cramps."

"I know what that feels like." I said sarcastically as Lily defeated her opponent Zoey MacDonald with an extraordinary "_Expelliarmus_!" that not only disarmed her, but sent her flying back into the wall.

"Excellent, excellent!" Mara said happily. "Alright, last pair! Remus and Amber, please step forward."

"Can you make it?" I asked him nervously.

Remus sucked in a deep breath. He made it three steps into the middle of the room and promptly vomited all over the floor.

Several students screamed and leapt back. I held my breath as I pointed my wand at the pool of sick and said, "_Scourgify_!". The vomit vanished, but Remus remained pale and shaking worse than ever.

"He's not well, Professor," I implored, feeling Zoey's hostile stare on me. I took out a handkerchief and dabbed at Remus' sweating brow. "He needs the hospital wing."

"I need to pass my exam." Remus rasped, his lips gray.

"Not like this." Mara said swiftly. "Zoey, please take your boyfriend to the hospital wing. We'll postpone the final pair for tomorrow. Remus, Amber, you'll meet me back here in twenty-four hours."

"But the train leaves tomorrow!" I exclaimed.

"If you miss it, I'll provide alternate transportation. You need to pass this exam in order to qualify for your fifth year." Her dark green eyes flickered to Zoey. "Get going, both of you."

Zoey supported Remus as they left the room. I watched, filled with a strange mixture of emotions. There was the familiar twinge of jealousy, but what was even stronger was the odd sense of foreboding. I shivered, gooseflesh rising on my skin, even though it was very warm in the classroom.

"Come on!" Lily said, tugging at my arm. "That's it for exams! Oh, I feel so hungry now. Like I can finally eat without wanting to be sick. Let's go!"

I let Lily pull me down to the Great Hall, which was filled with excited chatter and babble of students who had finished their exams. I sat at the Gryffindor table with Lily and the other Marauders, but I couldn't shake the increasing sense that something was wrong. I kept looking over my shoulder, but nothing was watching me.

But I could feel a dark presence surrounding me, closing in. Trembling slightly, I reached for a goblet full of grape juice and promptly knocked it over. The crimson liquid spilled like blood over the white tablecloth, and I stared at it, my heart thumping painfully in my ribs.

"Amber! Butter fingers, I tell you… _tergeo! _There, no harm done… what's wrong?" Lily asked, her face changing at my expression.

"Nothing." I lied, my hands cold. "Where's Remus and Zoey?"

"They went to the hospital wing, remember? He looked really sick. She's probably going to stay with him until later." She gave me a meaningful look.

"That's it." James said, slamming down his pumpkin juice. "Enough of this moping. We're going to celebrate. Even you can't stay somber at the Three Broomsticks, Lionheart. Come on, butterbeers on me. Let's go."

"James!" Lily said, shocked. "We can't just waltz out of the castle and go into Hogsmeade!"

"Oh, yes, we can." said James indifferently. "Come on. Let's go before it gets dark out."

Sirius leapt to his feet. I followed them, the dread growing. Something was definitely wrong. I wanted to check on Remus, but Lily wouldn't allow it. We disappeared underneath the Cloak near the statue of the one-eyed witch and all of us walked down the earthen tunnel to the Honeydukes cellar. We left the silent shop for the cobblestoned streets of Hogsmeade. The sun hung low in the sky, but it wasn't quite evening yet. Another hour of sunlight, maybe two. I followed my friends into the Three Broomsticks, chilled to the bone, even though it was a very warm summer's night. James stayed true to his word and ordered butterbeers for all, but I couldn't assimilate to their joyous mood.

"Lionheart!" James shouted, startling me. "Come on, drink some butterbeer! Have a pasty. Eat, drink, smile, laugh!"

"I still have one exam left." I reminded him. "I can't celebrate yet."

"Oh, come off it." Sirius said, slurping his drink noisily. "You always pass your exams. You'll be just fine."

"Is everything alright?" Lily asked again, brows furrowing. "You do look kind of peaky."

"I'm fine." I lied again, hitching a smile onto my face. I drank my butterbeer, but it tasted like liquid sugar in my mouth. I made a face as I swallowed it.

But no one else seemed to be bothered by what I felt. Lily was laughing, enjoying herself and the company that Sirius, James, and Peter provided. I stared at my golden mug of butterbeer, watching the bubbles fizzing to the creamy surface.

My vision hazed black at the edges. I gripped the table for support just as the blackness overtook the scene of the Three Broomsticks. _Not again… _I thought, as the dull pounding began in my ears. _Not right now…_

I was running through the black trees of the Forbidden Forest. My robes ripped on briars and I sprinted over fallen logs and holes. I wasn't pursuing, but pursuing. My lungs screamed for air as I crashed into a familiar ravine, the same hollow where Angelina had died.

Except it wasn't Angelina here now. It was Zoey. She was hiding in the same void underneath the tree, sobbing in terror. She was hiding.

From me?

A low, guttural growl came from behind me. I slowly turned on the spot.

Creeping through the darkness, its eyes reflectively bright, was a werewolf. The same werewolf who had tried to kill me in the Shrieking Shack.

It was Remus, and he was prowling straight for Zoey. A piercing scream rent the night air, and a blinding white light flashed before my eyes.

The entire pub had gone silent. I was back in the Three Broomsticks, and I realized that the terrible sound had come from _me. _James had dropped his mug on the floor, which was shattered. Sirius had jumped. Peter had the mortified look of someone who had just wet themselves. Lily looked most scared of all.

"Amber?" She asked urgently. "What was it?"

I looked outside the window. The sun was alarmingly low, brushing the tops of the black trees of the forest beyond the safe limits of the village. I hadn't seen them since the Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, but it didn't matter. I had _seen _them. I knew, right now, that Zoey was in terrible danger. That she and Remus, for whatever reason, were in the Forest. And if I didn't act now, Zoey would die. At the hands of Remus.

I jumped up from the table. Lily caught my arm, holding me fast. "What's going on?" She demanded. "Amber!"

I tried to jerk my arm free. "I think Zoey's in danger. I think Remus might be loose in the forest."

"_What?!" _The table exclaimed at large.

"We've got to do something!" Lily said hotly. "We'll all go!"

James threw down a handful of coins as we all rushed out of the pub. Long shadows reached across the ground as we pelted towards the Forest, which was foreboding and evil-looking in the gathering darkness. Peter let out a whimper of terror.

"Sirius, Peter, you come with me." James instructed. "Amber, Lily, you two go together. No one splits up. We'll be able to find him."

"How?" Sirius demanded.

"You're a dog, aren't you?" James spat.

"But what about them?" Sirius asked, pointing to me and Lily.

A faint silver hue glowed from the darkness of the trees. At first I thought it was mist, but then I realized that it was the half-dog, half-gytrash pet of Professor Kettleburn's. Loki bared his horrendous fangs at us, his blood-red eyes glowing like a vampire's in the dark.

"Loki will scent him for us." I told James. "We've got to hurry. The moon rises in less than an hour."

None of them questioned my vision. We had learned to accept the accuracy of my visions. Now, the five of us exchanged a final look of grim determination.

"If anything happens, get yourselves out." James said firmly. "We can all send Patronuses with messages, right?"

"Except for Peter, he's still in training." Sirius said. Peter hunched over, resigned.

"We can." Lily said fiercely. "Do you think Kettleburn's out there?"

"I wouldn't be surprised, since his dog is here." I told her. "Now come on! We don't have any more time to waste!" I presented the handkerchief to Loki, the same one I'd used to wipe at Remus' face earlier. Loki sniffed at it once and then gave a low growl. Sirius sniffed it too, shifting into a great black dog before our eyes.

"Come on!" I shouted, charging after Loki, who was already gliding through the black trees. "We've got to hurry!"


	68. The Forest Again

**WE MADE IT TO THE END OF YEAR FOUR! YAAAS! This was possibly the most intense chapter I've ever written for this story. Holy. COW. It was so much fun to write that I finished it just a few hours after the previous one, but granted this one is a couple thousand words shorter than the usual amount I do per chapter. I hope to have Book 5 up and running soon. Keep an eye out for updates. Love all of your reviews &amp; support. Happy Friday!**

* * *

The chirping birds and singing crickets were silenced the moment I crossed into the trees. I was no longer inside the world of warmth and life; I had crossed into the realm of darkness and death.

Lily kept pace as we jumped over branches and wove in and out of trees. Loki led on, moving silently through the thick undergrowth. The blood pounded inside of my ears as I ran through the misty world of shadows and trees, the air pungent with the odor of pine resin and decaying soil.

We had only been running for a few minutes when Loki stopped abruptly. His hackles rose, a deep, threatening growl escaping his jaws. Lily and I drew our wands in tandem, searching the dusky forest for any sign of movement.

"What is it, Loki?" I whispered, igniting my wand tip. A prickle of dread crept over my skin, and the awful sense of foreboding I'd felt earlier was stronger than ever. It was a tangible presence, like a ghost.

Loki lowered himself to the ground, growling deeper. Lily swore, trembling. "I wish he'd stop doing that."

"He's trying to warn us." I told her, scanning the foggy gloom between the trees. I thought I saw a hooded figure in black slip between two trees, but when I blinked, there was nothing.

"Let's keep going." I said quietly, adrenaline pumping hard and fast through my veins. "If we don't move, we'll never get to Remus in time."

Loki continued to glare in the direction of where I'd seen a moving figure, but after a moment, he began to glide through the trees again. Lily and I followed, legs burning, clothes snagging on twigs and brambles.

"Almost there." I gasped, remembering the circle of trees. A moment later, we ran into the dip of the hollow. A huge pine tree spread its gnarled roots out in all directions. Beneath it was a black space, a den for any kind of large and deadly creature.

But when we approached, it wasn't the snarls of a beast echoing from inside. It was the weeping of a scared girl.

Lily hurried forth, wand aloft. She peered inside, the iridescent light catching on an oval face. "Zoey?"

Zoey MacDonald let out a sob. "It's a trap! You have to get out of here!"

"What's a trap?" Lily demanded, while I whirled around, terrified, bracing myself for the appearance of a werewolf.

Zoey wept harder. "I was taking Remus to the hospital wing when _he _showed up."

"Who?" Lily said quickly.

"Professor Folsom."

Lily and I exchanged a look of horror. "How did he get into the castle?"

"I don't know!" Zoey wailed. "But he used some kind of magic on us… I don't know. I think it was the Imperius Curse. Or maybe he hypnotized me. I don't know. He made us come out here, and then he took Remus away… he said he needed to introduce him to his old friend. Fenrir something."

"Fenrir Greyback." I whispered. The one who had bitten Remus as a five-year-old and condemned him to a lifetime of pain and prejudice.

"They're out here, in the woods. Folsom promised me he'd send Remus to me, once the moon rose. But that's not all." Her dark eyes stared at me, overflowing with tears. "He said he was going to use Remus as bait. For you. He knew you'd come looking for Remus, but he said you'd get here after I died. After Remus killed me." She sobbed harder. "I don't know why Remus would."

"Because he's a werewolf." Lily said in a hushed voice. Zoey's weeping turned into screams of terror.

"It's a full moon! We're all going to die!" Zoey shrieked hysterically.

"Quiet!" Lily hissed, clapping her hand over Zoey's mouth. "Do you want every creature in this forest to know where we are?"

"It doesn't matter, does it?" Zoey sobbed. "We're all going to die, just like Angelina."

I stared at her, shaking hard. If I hadn't had the vision, if I hadn't known where to find them…

A twig snapped behind me. Before I could do anything to defend myself, I felt a curious tingling sensation sweeping across my flesh. Like every care in the world was gently erased. All that mattered was obeying the voice inside my head.

_Turn around and face me, my dear… that's it…_

"Amber!" Lily screamed. "Don't! Fight it!"

The tall, hooded figure in black that I had seen in the trees was standing at the edge of the hollow. I could see two scarlet eyes gleaming like cigarette cherries in the black shadow of the hood. The Imperius Curse was powerful, drawing me in like a moth to a flame. _Come to me… my darling… _

"Amber!" Lily screamed. The hooded voice pointed his wand at her and said, "_Crucio!_"

Lily's screams of agony made me remember what was going on. Who was under that hood. _I will not obey! _I thought furiously, and the dreamy sensation vanished. The full realization of what was going on and who was under the hood hit me, and I took up a fighting stance, jumping in front of Lily. The curse ebbed, leaving her and Zoey sobbing on the ground.

"Coward." I spat. "Come out and face me like a man, _Mackenzie_."

The hooded figure drew back its hood. The eyes blazed furiously, the pale skin white in the darkness. "You will die tonight, Amber Harkstone." said Folsom in his voice of deadly calm. "But first, you will watch your friends die by the hand of your beloved. Or should I say, 'paw'."

"I hope you have a heart, Mackenzie. Because if you do, I'm going to drive a stake through it!"

Folsom laughed derisively. "You think a mere wooden stake can kill me? Foolish girl. Only one thing may kill me, and you shall never guess what that might be."

"Only one way to find out." I said slowly, feeling the energy charging the air like electricity. "Besides, I don't need to kill you. Just incapacitate you. Lily, take Zoey and get out of here. Get out of the Forest and get help."

"I won't leave you!" Lily shouted desperately. "Amber, if I leave you…"

"It's me he wants. Not you." I told her, never taking my eyes off of Folsom. The blood surged in my veins as I saw Folsom draw his own wand, bone-white and evil-looking. "Don't worry about me. I can handle this."

I watched Lily help Zoey up from the corner of my eye. She had her wand out, backing out of the hollow slowly. Folsom's gaze never left my face. I relaxed slightly when I knew she had gone. I hoped that she could find help in time. But there was an odd peace within me now. At least, she would not die. Zoey and Lily would live.

I wasn't sure I would.

"How very noble of you." Folsom said in a voice of dripping sarcasm as he twirled his wand. "Such Gryffindor-like chagrin. I would never have expected that from a Ravenclaw."

I stared back into the cold face of the man who had slaughtered his entire family, except for Julian, who had died later anyway. He had paid the price of immortality with the blood of his children and lover. He was ruthless, evil, and the moment I had been dreading for the past two years was finally upon me. I tightened my hold on my resolve, my blood pounding a war drum in my ears.

"I don't know if you've been taught how to duel?" asked Folsom in his ice-cold voice.

"I have." I said, realizing I was probably about to die. Strangely, I felt no terror anymore. Just a calm resolve to at least die fighting. I would not go quickly or quietly, and I would take as much of this monster with me as I could. "Professor Smith taught me."

"Good." Folsom bowed to me. I bowed back, never taking my eyes off of him. "To the death, Miss Amber."

We circled each other, wands drawn, the silence spiraling horribly. I saw what he was planning to do in his gaze a split second before it happened, and reacted.

"_Crucio!" _Folsom screamed, as I shouted, "_Protego!"_

His curse exploded with the force of a bomb against my shield, which cracked but held. It vanished a second later. Folsom was already attacking again, wordless this time. It was another Torture Curse. I barely deflected it with a second Shield Charm. Folsom waved his wand, a look of malicious intent upon his snowy face. He was enjoying this, enjoying this sick entertainment as I duelled for my very life.

He lashed his wand like a whip. A huge, fiery snake erupted from his wand. It towered over me, as big as Willow's Patronus of a basilisk, hissing evilly. Sweat poured from my skin as I faced down the immense heat, burning like the surface of the sun.

"_Aguamenti!" _I bawled, terror sweeping over me as the water melted instantly into steam upon contact with the fiery beast. The snake roared and plunged toward me, and I saw nothing but flames.

The necklace twitched upon my chest.

An inexplicable surge of power rushed over me. Distantly, I heard phoenix song, like Fawkes had flown overhead from the treetops. And then, for a moment, I thought I heard a soft, familiar voice whisper, "_I am here"_. Then, it was gone. But I was different. I wasn't me anymore. There was another within me, more powerful and more deadly than any Dark Magic. I was waving my wand and the great snake bucked and cowered. I was using _wordless magic._

I had the odd sense that I was not alone in controlling my body. It was as if another had taken over, as if I was merely a puppet on strings. The intoxicating sense of power filled me until I thought I would explode with the amount of energy inside of me. I waved my wand again, jabbing it like a whip, as the snake turned and bore down upon Folsom, allegiance shifted. The vampire gaped in disbelief, brandishing his wand. The snake hissed and burst into a cloud of ash.

I took the offensive now. _Lumos solem! _I thought, as a huge beam of blinding, hot sunlight blasted from the ash wand and engulfed Folsom. The vampire screamed in pain, but when the light receded, he was alive. Badly burned and panting, but alive.

"You… it is impossible…"

"_Petrificus Totalus!" _The voice in my head thought, and the vampire went oddly still. His scarlet eyes burned in the darkness, hot as flames. "_Avada-"_

"Stupefy!" A harsh voice shouted.

I gasped as the spell hit me - hard - from behind. The second presence departed. I rolled over, scrabbling for my wand, but the second attacker who had Stunned me stood on it gingerly with huge boots. I slowly looked up.

A grizzled face grimaced down at me. "Hello, my pretty. You smell delicious."

"Fenrir Greyback." I whispered.

"This was _my _duel, Greyback." Folsom snarled, already moving again. He advanced, but Fenrir held up a filthy hand. The werewolf was young, in his mid-twenties, but he had an aura of lawless corruption and mindless animal passion that made me more afraid of him than Folsom. I half-lay, half-crouched in the dirt, paralyzed by a mixture of shock and fear.

"But you were about to lose." Greyback rumbled in his oddly rasping voice. "Therefore, I intervened. Now, she's mine to do with what I will."

I reached for my wand slowly, hoping the werewolf was distracted enough not to notice. He grinned down at me evilly, his pointed yellow teeth ghastly.

"You won't be duelling anymore, my sweet." he said, and stomped down hard.

My wand gave a tiny shriek like a dying bird as it snapped in half. All of the time seemed to stop as I stared at the indent where his massive boot had come down, where my precious wand, which had survived so much and saved my life countless times, lay in two pieces. Horrified, numb with shock, I was motionless.

"Cruel, Greyback, very cruel." Folsom sighed. "That was a lovely wand."

"And now it's not." Greyback said indifferently, stowing his wand. The werewolf looked pained. "You'd better get out of here, Folsom. I'd like to eat alone."

"I've already claimed her. Her blood sings for me."

"Like I said. You lost the duel. Now it's my turn to deal with her."

Folsom gave him a disgusted look. His eyes flickered to me, ice-blue once more. "Very well. But don't kill her, Greyback. Lord Voldemort wishes to question her first. I'm sure he'll allow you to finish the job once he is satisfied with her."

"I'll try to stop." Fenrir said casually, doubling over. "Leave, Folsom, or I'll come for you instead."

Folsom sighed. "Pity. She put up a very good fight, especially in the end. Good-bye, Amber Harkstone. Say hello to your sister for me." I watched, numb, as the vampire turned into a bat and flitted off into the forest.

"All alone." Greyback rasped in a predatory tone. I stared up at him, utterly helpless. "But don't worry. The party hasn't started yet. I wouldn't want to spoil the fun and kill you in my current form."

My mouth went dry. "What… what do you mean to do?"

Greyback grunted in pain again. The hollow was growing brighter. I dared to look up through the canopy of pine trees. Just barely, I could make out the full moon, emerging from behind a bank of black clouds.

Fenrir roared. I screamed, throwing my arms up instinctively to protect myself. The werewolf grinned at me again, and this time his eyes were tawny-yellow.

"Start running, my sweet." He breathed. "It'll make it more fun for me when I catch you."

Letting out a terrified, strangled sob, I lurched unsteadily to my feet and sprinted out of the hollow. My heartbeat pounded in my head, and I wondered if it was counting down the last few minutes of my life. Behind me, I could hear the wailing and snarling noises of the werewolf as he transformed into a monster.

"HELP!" I screamed, unable to protect myself, my wand broken and dead. "SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE!"

A scream of pain behind me abruptly turned into a howl. Blood chilling, I pushed myself harder, blinded by sweat and tears. I knew my friends were out here, knew that Kettleburn was as well. But how far away were they? How would anyone be able to help me in this massive and wild forest?

I knew I was being watched, knew I was being stalked at this very moment. Gulping back sobs, I raced to a pine tree that had branches low enough for me to jump to. I scrambled to climb as high as I could, daring to tempt even the flimsiest of twigs. I was nearly thirty feet above the ground when I heard him coming for me.

I held as still as possible, forcing myself not to gasp for breath. For a moment, it was silent. An owl hooted nearby. I thought of Soren, how I might never see him again. The painful thought brought hot tears to my eyes.

Then I heard the crashing of the undergrowth, and I bit back a scream.

Thirty feet below me, pushing his way through the bracken and thickets of the forest floor, was a huge black shape. The size of a small horse, the werewolf moved slowly, sniffing, following a scent trail. _My _scent trail.

A bead of sweat rolled down my face and dripped down, falling to the forest floor. I clutched at the tree trunk, praying that Greyback would move on.

The werewolf stopped at the base of my tree. Slowly, very slowly, the massive head turned upwards. The yellow eyes reflected white in the moonlight, and the wolf let out a savage howl of triumph. He began to scale the tree.

_If I could ever become an Animagus, it needs to be NOW! _I thought desperately. _Oh, God! I'm going to die!_

I pelted branches at the werewolf, which was advancing. The monster roared in rage, his cruel claws digging in the trunk. I jumped hard on my branch, slamming down with every bit of pressure I could muster. The branch cracked and fell, catching on the head of the werewolf. The beast howled and slipped halfway done the tree, trying to wipe the flecks of bark from its eyes.

I noticed the nest of doxies on the next branch as I held onto the trunk for dear life. Slowly, I manuevered over and grasped the papery nest. It was heavy, like a Bludger. Squeezing my eyes shut, I ripped it off its hanging of doxie saliva and hurled down upon the werewolf as if I was throwing a Quaffle through a goal hoop.

The doxie nest burst like a dungbomb upon impact, and a horde of furious, venom-fanged doxies swarmed upon Greyback. The black beast roared in agony and plummeted twenty feet onto the forest floor. The doxies swarmed like a hive of angry wasps, biting and scratching with their razor-sharp teeth and claws. The werewolf blundered away, crashing through the undergrowth back from where it came.

I let out a sharp gasp of pain as I felt a stinging pressure on my wrist. A single doxie had remained and had bitten me. I whacked my arm with the attached doxie against the tree trunk, and the dazed doxie flew drunkenly away after its kin.

I crept down the tree, still in shock. _My wand. _I knew wands rarely outlived or outlasted their masters, but the fact that my precious ash and phoenix feather one had been snapped after just three years of useage felt like losing a loved one. Like losing Virginia.

I hurried through the thick tangles of undergrowth, every sense on high-alert as I sped through the forest back towards the castle. I had never felt more alone or more vulnerable in my life than I did at that moment. My sole form of protection was a silly little necklace, and it hadn't done anything other than allow my wand to be broken in two.

The familiar and unpleasant sensation that I was being watched by hungry eyes persisted as I ran for my life through the woods. My heart leapt with hope as I caught sight of a familiar shaggy black dog in a small clearing just ahead, bathed in the silvery light of the full moon.

"Sirius!" I gasped as I stumbled into the clearing. The great black dog turned and fixed its great yellow eyes on me, its lips pulling back over its razor-sharp teeth. Blind panic and relief had turned my brains to jelly.

Because it wasn't Sirius. It was Remus.

A fully-fledged monster.

The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I took a shaking step backwards. The dark brown werewolf came closer. It was the same monster that had attacked me months ago, when I had Apparated to save Severus. This time, there was no wand to help me. There was no way to Apparate, no way to use a Charm or spell. This time, I was utterly and completely defenseless, at the mercy of a mindless beast that wanted nothing more than to rip me to shreds.

"Remus." I pleaded, raising my hands in a show of surrender, desperate for him to find that inner piece of humanity. "Remus, please. It's me, it's Amber. Remus?"

But there was no sign of memory in the eyes of the monstrous creature looming towards me. Its ears pricked forward, its jaws dropping open as it let out a huge snarl. A black shape hurtled out of nowhere, and for a fleeting moment of overwhelming relief, I thought Sirius had at last come to save me.

The black wolf ripped viciously at the dark brown werewolf. I wanted to cover my ears at the horrible sound of tearing and snarling as the two fought, rolling in the grass and slamming into the trees. The full light of the cold moon revealed that the new attacker wasn't Sirius, either.

It was Greyback.

I took advantage of the two wolves fighting over their prey - over me - and ran into the trees again. I looked for a place to hide. Anywhere. But there was nothing. There was no hollow that would shroud me, no tree I could climb. There was no stream or river that would conceal me, no wand to assist me. The two werewolves would be able to follow my scent, no matter where I went. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, another vision, except this time, there would be no waking up. This time, I was truly going to die.

I knew my only chance of survival depended on how quickly I found help. I ran, the sounds of the fighting werewolves fading as I fled. The chilling sound of a howl echoed through the forest, followed by an answering call from another wolf. They sounded hellishly close.

"_Stupefy_!"

The Stunning Spell hit me squarely in the back. I collapsed in the dirt, fighting to stay conscious. The voice shouted, "_MORSMORDRE_!" and I watched through blurred eyes as a giant green skull erupted over the trees, a serpent crawling through its mouth. I could hear another crash, and a moment later, I felt hot, putrid breath stinking of blood and sweat at the back of my neck. Reflexively, I threw my arms behind my head, shielding my neck. A thrill of horrified realization swept over me a moment before I felt the savage jaws clamp down on the back of my neck and fling me like a rag doll into the nearest tree. I crumpled, feeling warm blood gush from the wounds on my arms. The dark shape lunged again, claws tearing at my face, my arms, my whole body shredding beneath its violence. Each flame-hot slash of teeth and claws was like a serrated knife into my flesh. I screamed again and again as the werewolf ripped me to pieces. First my clothes, then my very skin. Another colossal shape barreled into the attacker, and I watched weakly as the two werewolves fought yet again. My vision was too hazy to see which werewolf grabbed my left leg, sinking its fangs so deeply into my flesh and muscle that I screamed louder still in agony. It tried to drag me away into the trees, but the other wolf attacked again, dropping me to the ground. I could feel the warmth draining out of me as I lay bleeding on the forest floor, strangely numb as I watched the two monsters snapping and clawing at each other. Over me. Over my body, which was just another piece of meat to them.

"_They're over here! HURRY!_"

Then I heard James' voice shouting, "_Reducto! REDUCTO!"_

Two smaller dogs joined the fight. Sirius and Loki leapt into the fray, launching themselves at the werewolves. Then a gruff male voice yelled, "_STUPEFY!" _and a strong jet of red light collided with the two werewolves. They both broke away, Sirius chasing after one, Loki after the other.

I was hardly aware of the fact that I was no longer alone. All I knew was that I was not going to make it.

"Amber?" the gruff male voice said. "Merlin's beard…"

"She's dying, isn't she?" James choked out. "Is she?"

I blinked up at him slowly. His eyes looked evil, like the wolves, as they reflected the wandlight opaquely. I exhaled, each breath ragged and heavier than the last. I shakily removed his glasses, clutching them in one hand.

"I'm so cold." I whispered. I was shivering violently, but for some reason, I did not care. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. In fact, I felt strangely at peace.

"Don't die, Amber." James pleaded. "You can't die. You've got to live."

"I feel fine." I lied, oddly immune to the pain I had felt so keenly earlier. Now, I just felt weak and light. Like a dried autumn leaf, I felt so feathery and small, like the slightest breeze would lift me up and carry me away from here.

"She's dying!" James said in a half-strangled voice. "Do something, Professor!"

"These are cursed wounds, Potter. Werewolf bites. I can't heal them. We have to get her back to the castle as soon as we can."

"But Madam Pomfrey can heal her, can't she?" James asked fervently. "Can't she?"

"I don't know. This might be out of her hands. She probably need St. Mungo's. Come on, we've got to be quick or we're going to lose her."

James scooped me up into his arms. I looked up into his pale, strained face. When had he become so tall and strong? He looked like a young man now. He wasn't the rude little boy in glasses all those years ago.

"Stay with me, Amber. Talk to me. Come on. Stay with me."

I thought of Virginia, the look of peace on her face as she lay in her soft, cushioned coffin. Angelina's glazed expression of frozen fear and surprise in the forest. I wanted to die smiling, peacefully, so that it would look like I was merely asleep.

I touched James' face gently, not caring about the crimson stains it left on him. "I'm so glad we're friends, James. You were the best toe-rag I ever knew."

"Don't talk like that." He said tightly as he ran through the trees, Professor Kettleburn keeping pace. "You're going to live."

"I don't think so." I said slowly, so cold now that I no longer felt it. Now, I felt an odd, spreading warmth, like golden sunlight was spilling over me. Like dawn was approaching after a long, cold night.

_How foolish I was_. I thought sadly as James rushed through the black trees. I was going to die at fourteen years old. Hadn't I wanted to make the most out of my time? Hadn't I imagined playing Quidditch professionally, working with dragons, marrying? Hadn't I even considered children? Grandchildren? Growing old with someone that I loved? Having a whole lifetime of adventures?

_The problem is, we think we have more time. Then, it runs out._

What would I have done differently, had I known I was going to die tonight? Would I have told Mum and Dad how much I loved them? What if I had been able to hug Naomi once more, or finally kiss Sean? If Lily could have been my sister, I would have made it official, as permanent as black ink on paper. I would have studied less, spent more time with the ones I loved. I would have made Remus change his mind, made him realize how foolish we'd been. That we belonged together, and anything less than that was a half-life. Did the answers to my questions really matter? Who cared if my necklace had Seer powers? My life was in the present, not in the past.

Most of all, I wished I had had more time with Virginia. The fact that now I would see her again, after hearing her voice say, '_I am here'_, made my heart lift in joy.

Horcruxes. The prophecy. The necklace. Vampires. Werewolves. Questions. Answers. Life. Death. In the end, what did it all matter? I was in James' arms, dying, my body torn to shreds, and all I wanted was to see Remus one last time. Not as the monster who had fought with his sire, but as the young man who I had loved for so long.

"She's so cold, Professor. I don't know if we can make it."

"We've got to try. Run, Potter. I'll catch up with you later. Get her to the hospital now. Go!"

The wind blew over my face, but all I could feel was the growing warmth, burning to the tip of my nose and my fingers and toes. I could see the golden sun through a canopy of green oak leaves, feel my heartbeat slow as my soul drifted from earth into eternity. The dark presence that had followed me for so long was gone. I had faced my destiny. I had faced Folsom, and won. I had faced Greyback and lost. The price of that loss would be my life.

"No! Don't you dare let go, Amber! Keep fighting! Don't let go!" James shouted as he sprinted up the castle steps, covered in red stains. "You're stronger than this, Lionheart! Don't you dare give in."

"James," I rasped, eyelids closing, a smile spreading on my face, "thank you…for everything..."

I felt the necklace tremble once on my chest, and then it went still. _I'm coming, Virginia. _

I let out a gusty breath of air, and sank gratefully into the dark waters that had lapped at me for several minutes. Whether it was unconsciousness or death, it did not matter. Wherever I was going, it was warm, pain-free, and clean.

_Wait for me._


	69. Year 5: The Curse of the Moon

**Is the fifth marauder dead? Is she alive? Is she infected, or safe? We won't find out until chapter one.. but I ask that you bear with me and wait ;) Here is a glimpse into the sordid past of Folsom, Willow, and Voldemort. New chapter to be posted as soon as I can! Thank you for your reviews &amp; support and for READING :) You all rule!**

* * *

An explosion of red and green sparks burst above a castle. Fireworks were blowing up all around not only Great Britain, but all over Europe and in far-flung areas of the world. A full moon hung in the sky over Hogwarts castle. The hot summer air was filled with the sound of crickets, cicadas, and thunder-like _booms_ as owls flew to and fro from the Owlery tower. One clumsy barred owl dropped its parcel, a fresh copy of The Daily Prophet. A seventeen-year-old brunette girl with green eyes the color of willow leaves caught it deftly as she sat beside a glittering lake, submerged up to her calves in the cooling water.

She unrolled the latest edition of the newspaper. Just two hours ago, the moment that the global wizarding community had been praying for for years had finally happened.

_22 June 1945_

_DUMBLEDORE DEFEATS GRINDELWALD IN LEGENDARY DUEL_

_At precisely 7:03 p.m. this day, Professor Albus Dumbledore, Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, defeated the notorious Dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald in a valley located in Bellinghall, Scotland._

_The two wizards engaged in the duel at approximately four in the afternoon today. Eyewitnesses tell us that the resulting battle was 'the greatest wizarding duel of all time'. Grindelwald, who had been terrorizing the wizarding community at large since the late 1920's, was apprehended by Aurors once incapacitated, where he will be taken to Nurmengard to await trial for his crimes against both Muggles and wizards alike._

_The shockwaves and power that were generated by the duel between Dumbledore and Grindelwald were felt as far away as London, over a hundred miles from the location of the incredible battle. Despite officials best efforts to Obliviate and contain the exposure of magic to Muggles, celebrations are erupting around the globe, primarily in Britain, as the greatest threat to peace we have ever known has finally been vanquished._

_More continued on B2…_

"What are you reading, Will?"

The brown-haired girl looked up as an exquisitely handsome young man loomed over her. His jet-black hair was neat and glinted in the reflection of the moonlight. In one hand, he held a small roll of parchment, his diploma. In the other was a pointed black hat, which he had worn with the rest of the students in his year just that morning for the graduation ceremony for the class of 1945.

"The paper. I'm sure you've heard all about it by now, Tom."

The young man gave a tiny nod of his head. "I'm surprised. I believed you would be joining the celebration in Hogsmeade. It must be quite the scene, since students will be celebrating both graduation and the defeat of such a powerful wizard."

"I grew tired of the commotion." Willow responded airily, tossing back her long sheet of pretty, chestnut-colored hair. She flashed Tom a winsome smile. "What a day. First, we graduate Hogwarts. Then, Grindelwald is captured."

"Indeed. What a day." Tom sounded unhappy, even melancholy, as he gazed out across the shimmering lake. Willow bit her lip, unsure of herself in the presence of this intimidating young man. They had been friends, closer than friends, for quite some time now. She, like so many others in the school, had been drawn to him like a snake charmed by a flute. Tom had always commanded admiration and respect from both students and faculty for as long as she remembered. Teachers had written him glowing letters of recommendation for every post-Hogwarts school in the nation, for any kind of employment he wanted. Many, including Professor Slughorn, were already tipping him to become the youngest Minister of Magic. Maybe even by thirty years old.

But Tom had never been interested in climbing the ladder of power. Not like that. Rather, he had always been fascinated with the idea of conquering his greatest foe, death. After having spent two years in close contact with the young man, she knew just how dark and driven he was, that he would stoop to every level to achieve his goals. Willow counted herself within his innermost circle, even though many others such as Folsom, Nott, Avery, and Lestrange all claimed themselves his closest companions. Willow alone had captured his attention, his admiration, his eye. He was cunning, resourceful, ambitious, determined, and clever. He was the true epitome of Slytherin House. Tom Riddle had captivated the entire school and won over nearly every heart as he ascended the ranks of power in every manner possible.

And, he had stolen her heart, too.

"What are you thinking about?" Willow asked, tilting her head slightly and exposing her neck. "Talk to me."

Tom glanced at her once, a muscle jerking in his cheek. She knew those liquid black eyes well, knew that even now, alone as they were, he was hiding something from her. Together, they had shared secrets and intimacies she would never speak of to anyone. Ever since Folsom had revealed his own feelings for her, Tom had grown colder towards both him and her. She wanted to gain his trust again, demonstrate to him how loyal she was, how much she loved him, no matter the cost of following him.

"You ask too many questions." Tom said in a cool voice. Willow lifted her chin a notch, unfazed.

"I know better than to use Legilimency against you, my Lord," she said mockingly. "Who but the great Lord Voldemort knows all of the secrets of the world?"

A faint smile tugged at his lips. "You talk too much."

"Indeed. A habit I must have picked up from you. We all know Tom Riddle can't learn to keep his mouth shut."

Willow extended her hand, a renewed gesture of her love and loyalty to him. Tom grasped it and pulled her to her feet effortlessly, his black eyes glowing with hot fire. Her heart pounded frantically against her chest as he drew her against him. He was so tall, so powerful. And all hers.

"You tempt me, princess," he whispered, his arms flexing against her back. Willow batted her eyelashes shamelessly. "Oh, but to have Tom Riddle's heart. But you don't have a heart, do you? Not like mine."

She placed her palm upon his chest. She could feel its strong, steady beat through his ribs. But even though she could feel it beating, she wondered if Tom survived not on its rhythm, but out of pure ambition and drive. Tom's gaze searched her face, his expression full of possessiveness and hunger.

"Who is your Lord?" Tom asked quietly, his grip tightening on her.

"You are." Willow said, smiling coquettishly.

"Say my name." Tom said in a husky voice.

"Voldemort."

"No." Tom leaned down and kissed her neck. "Say who I am to you, princess."

A thrill of hot desire swept over Willow. "Tom."

He slanted his mouth over hers. Her arms came up around his neck, deepening the kiss. For a few moments, she felt nothing but the lava of passion sweeping through her, obliterating everything else in its path. All that mattered was the strength of his arms around her, the taste of his mouth, the scent of his body.

"Am I interrupting something?"

The two broke apart as a frozen voice cleaved between them. Willow jerked back guiltily, but Tom met the newcomer's livid expression with calm authority, completely unashamed and unabashed.

"You had better have a good reason for interrupting us, Mackenzie." Tom said in a cool voice to the young man standing a few feet from them. The young man with blonde hair tied back into a ponytail stiffened with indignation. Mackenzie Folsom's face was mottled red with furious anger, the spark of jealousy burning in his ice-blue eyes. Willow tried to wriggle free of Tom's arms, but he tightened his grip on her so that it was almost painful.

"I do." Mackenzie Folsom said coldly. Willow's consciousness squirmed guiltily at the vulnerable look of pain and hurt on his face, but Tom remained unflinchingly absolute in his possession of her.

"I heard Grindelwald was defeated." Folsom went on, glaring at the pair of them as if they were performing a lewd act by merely standing close together in an embrace. "The owls are rampant tonight, relaying messages and news. Even the Muggles are noticing that something has changed. Fireworks, owls, shooting stars. It's quite ridiculous."

"As we have noticed." Tom said in a monotone voice. He was no longer relaxed and even playful; now he was cold, distant, and Lord Voldemort once again. "I hope that wasn't the reason you interrupted us."

"It wasn't." Folsom growled. "In case you hadn't noticed, the moon is full tonight. The map has awoken."

Tom released Willow, taking a step toward Folsom. "Show me."

Folsom pursed his lips. As much as he wanted to hex Tom into a million slimy pieces for putting his hands on Willow Smith, he instead withdrew a small piece of ancient parchment from his robes. He handed it to Tom, who studied it with rapt fascination.

A small black ink snake wriggled on the parchment. It had been moving in an endless circle until Tom held it in his large hands. "_I am the Heir of Slytherin_," he said in a harsh language that made Folsom bristle with envy, since he could not understand it. But Willow, who had been taught by Tom herself, grasped every word.

The snake abruptly went still. It changed color, into a poisonous green viper, and became a straight-line. The triangular head pointed like a compass towards the black trees of the Forbidden Forest, the exact opposite direction of Hogwarts castle.

"Come!" Tom shouted to Willow and Folsom. He hurried into the forest, not quite running, but speeding along at a brisk pace. Briefly alone, Folsom stared at Willow blackly, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

"So," he said in a voice quivering with emotion, "you have chosen Riddle."

"I have chosen what I have chosen." Willow replied steadily. "My love for Tom does not concern you."

Folsom's pale face filled with a dark pink hue. "What you feel for him is not love. You will regret this, Willow. I would have given you-"

"You should be careful what you speak." Willow interrupted, afraid for Folsom, her friend since childhood. "You know as well as I do that Lord Voldemort does not forgive treason."

"Treason? My feelings for you are not treason. They are real. They are true. I would never-"

"Silence!" Willow hissed. "You will bring death to yourself, Vincent, or worse."

"I am no longer called 'Vincent.'"

"Yes, but you will always be that to me."

Folsom opened his mouth to speak, but a cold voice full of dark intent whispered upon their minds. _Where are my loyal companions? Will I be left to discover this treasure alone? COME TO ME!  
_Willow and Folsom yelped as if they had been scalded. The matching black marks on their forearms burned. Like tattoos, they had been branded the previous full moon, in a declaration of undying and unwavering loyalty to Lord Voldemort, the first two to ever make that bold proclamation. The two of them charged into the trees, following the guidance of their Dark Marks towards their Master.

The woods were alive with unseen creatures that roamed freely beneath the gloomy trees. Willow and Folsom did not catch up to their leader until they were out of breath and physically spent. Chest heaving, Willow bent over and clutched at a stitch in her side as she and Folsom stood before a dilapidated old mansion, overgrown and wild. What had once been a lawn had become a thicket of hedges and sharp thorns. Two magnificent magnolia trees towered like sentinels at the gate to the brick fence, winding around the property and covered in ivy and wisteria. The grand house had fallen into disrepair, its windows broken, the vast porch sinking sideways into the tangled earth.

"How old do you think this place is?" asked Folsom as he approached the giant house, his eyes fixed on the emblem of a familiar snake on the door.

"Ancient." Willow replied, touching a rotting pillar of the porch. "Perhaps a thousand years old."

Tom appeared before them, his black eyes momentarily gleaming scarlet in the night. He had a terrifying look of manic glee on his face, making it grotesque instead of handsome. "The snake has lead me here. Within this house, I will finally uncover my destiny, my heritage, my ancestor's legacy. I will finally learn the secret of immortality."

"Tom," Willow said haltingly, a strange sense of foreboding filling her. "Maybe we should go back. Perhaps we should return in the daylight, when it is safer. I feel as if to be here on a full moon is nothing short of certain death."

He turned slowly to stare at her. Tom's face was livid, and for the first time, Willow glimpsed a rabid, insane piece of Tom that frightened her. Her blood chilled as she took a step back, sure that he was going to strike her down, regardless of the nature of their relationship.

"You will be with me, my beloved," Tom promised in a voice that trembled with dark intention, and Folsom trembled with fury. "You, princess, will become my queen. But first, we must enter. Both of you will accompany me."

"You would use as human shields." Folsom spat, the most skilled and powerful Legilimens that Willow had ever known. Even more so than Tom Riddle. "Should something go wrong, you will have Willow and I be decoys so that you may escape. That's your plan, isn't it, Lord Voldemort?"

Tom stared at Folsom, and Willow felt a surge of fear for her oldest friend, despite her horrified outrage at Tom's thoughts. "Tom," she said sharply, stepping forward and putting a hand on his arm. "You know I would die for you, my love. There is no need for your cunning thoughts."

Tom's gaze flickered to hers. A mask had been replaced, and he gave her a tiny, mechanical smile. "A dear declaration from my princess. I thank you for your willingness to serve me, my love." He looked at Folsom again, and Willow feared the two would duel right then and there.

"Do not make me question your loyalty again, Folsom," Tom breathed, scarlet eyes gleaming. "One does not betray Lord Voldemort and walk away unscathed."

"I'll keep that in mind, my _Lord_." Folsom replied frostily. Tom turned his back on him, facing the door. "_I am the Heir of Slytherin," _he said again in Parseltongue. "_Open._"

The snake on the door wriggled as the one on his paper had. The snake moved in a perfect circle, and the door unlocked. Filled with trepidation, Willow watched as Tom pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Willow followed him first. The house was dark and smelled strongly of decay and rotting wood. She felt her skin crawl as the sense of being watched overwhelmed her. In spite of herself, she drew closer to Tom. She reached out and took his hand, interlacing their fingers, hoping to find comfort and safety within him.

He took a few steps up a double grand staircase, releasing her hand from his. She felt oddly rejected and cold. She had felt his withdrawal as strongly as though he had Disapparated. Drawing her wand, she followed him while Folsom climbed the opposite set of winding stairs. An old glass chandelier glinted dully in the center of the large room, and her eyes surveyed the massive portraits, the cobweb-covered statues and busts, the unlit candelabras. At one point, this grand house must have been a sight to behold, even miles within the depths of the Forbidden Forest, far, far away from civilization.

"This is the room." Tom announced in a quiet voice full of conviction as he opened a double set of doors. "The West End of the House of Slytherin."

"Tom." Willow whispered, a final plea for reconsideration.

But he ignored her. Walking inside with confidence and purpose, Tom entered the room.

Folsom hesitated at Willow's side. "I will not enter." He whispered to her. "I fear I will not survive. I am not a descendant of Salazar Slytherin, nor I can claim a Founder's blood running through my veins."

"But I am a descendant of Helga Hufflepuff." Willow reminded him softly. "So, perhaps, I am safe." Leaving safety with Folsom behind, she followed Tom once again into the darkness.

Cold moonlight poured like milk through the tall French windows as Willow took in the chilling corridor that stretched before her. Broken mirrors lay in shattered pieces on the floor. Grotesque stone gargoyles and suits of armor lined the hall as she walked into the grand antechamber of the West End of the manor. The huge room had perhaps once been as grand as the rest of the house, but now lay before her like a scene of total devastation.

Tapestries hung torn from their hangers on the exquisite paneled walls. Candelabras were knocked over, tables and chairs smashed to splinters. Stuffed heads of fearsome animals like boars and wolves glared down at her from the walls. Paintings hung shredded and crooked beside them. A large writing desk had had its drawers yanked out and thrown about the room. A gigantic canopy bed crafted from dark wood lay cracked and split into two, its fur blanket torn to pieces. The veiled canopy was ripped and torn, blowing slightly in the cold wind. As Willow examined the ravaged room, her eyes fell upon a mangled portrait of a young man. A pair of black eyes, just like Tom's, stared at her eerily from behind the folds of destroyed canvas. It looked like cruel claws had destroyed the work of art.

Before she could push the canvas back into place to reveal the face, she felt an odd tingle of warning race up her spine. She turned just in time to see a green glow from twenty feet away. Tom was leaning over something positioned in front of a half-circle of tall windows. Willow approached, each step feeling like a death sentence.

"Tom?" Willow breathed, coming to stand across from him. He was staring into a carved stone basin, similar to a bird bath. Filling the inside was a sinister bright green liquid. Lying at the bottom of the poisonous-looking water was a simple gold chain, and a leaf-shaped pendant of opal stones.

"This is it." Tom whispered, the green light reflecting in his perfect face. "I've finally found it."

"Found what?" Willow beseeched gently.

"It's a H-"

"_Let the Heir reveal his or herself._" A strange voice hissed. Tom and I looked around the destroyed antechamber.

"_Reveal yourself first._" Tom shot back boldly, speaking in Parseltongue. Willow cringed slightly, waiting for the death blow. She could feel the malevolent presence filling the room with darkness blacker than shadows, coming for them.

A pair of scarlet eyes gleamed from the darkness of the antechamber from which they had just walked through. "_Very well. Remain where you are. Any movement, any sign of treachery, and I will strike._"

Willow and Tom waited. Willow trembled with fear; Tom shook with anticipation. The pair of red eyes came closer, until a horrific black beast with scaly skin and a long reptilian snout was bathed in the illumination of the moon. Willow stared, struck dumb, horrified, but Tom met the gaze calmly and without fear, as if the two had planned to meet for tea in this dilapidated ruin of a manor.

"_Who read the Map?" _the strange creature hissed. "_Who is the Heir?"_

"_Standing before you is the Heir of Slytherin, and the Princess of Hufflepuff._" Tom declared boldly. "_You are the Master?"_

The ghastly beast gave a horrible grin, revealing sharp, pointed teeth. "_When the students are ready, the teacher appears. Bring forth your friend and let us begin your instruction of the Dark Arts."_


	70. St Mungo's Hospital

**Wowwowowowowow. After the intensity of the finale of book 4, we are now entering the highly-anticipated fifth year. This is when the Marauders have their adventures during the full moon and when Lily and Severus have their final showdown. But did Amber survive the attack? If she did, is she infected? What will happen to the Marauders in the aftermath of the attack? And most of all, what the heck is going on with Horcruxes, and what does Professor Smith and the Master have to do with it? I still can't quite believe how popular this story has become and how much love y'all have given this tale. You are the best and I'm so thankful for your reviews and your loyalty! Year 5, here we go...**

* * *

The sound of a church bell tolling filled the air of the small Scottish village of Bellinghall one rainy June afternoon. Puddles of mud filled the streets as a steady procession of people trudged in a slow march into a small white church building. I followed them, feeling out of place. It was bad enough that I felt like I had been hit by the Hogwarts Express, but now, I was wearing blue jeans and a ripped black tank top. Everyone else wore black. Formal attire. The cold rain poured down relentlessly as I kept pace with the crowd dressed in their Sunday best. Everywhere I looked was a sea of black.

"Excuse me?" I asked, peering into the face of a young woman with a blonde braid. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

But the woman acted like she didn't hear me. I tried the man on her left. "Sir? What's happened here?"

The man either pretended he couldn't hear me or couldn't. Frowning, I followed the group of people into the church building, which was packed to the seams with a sea of familiar and unfamiliar faces.

"Oh," I muttered as I caught sight of a coffin at the front of the church. _This must be a funeral_, I realized as I walked forth and took a seat in a crowded pew. _I wonder who it is._

My pastor stood at the wooden podium, clearing his throat loudly. The quiet mumble of hushed voices ceased at once. A mournful, slow organ filled the heavy air with notes of grief and sorrow. Beside me, a woman burst into tears, blowing her nose into her handkerchief.

I gave a start as I recognized Aunt Hannah. "Are you alright?" I asked her, but she too seemed unable to hear me.

Filled with a growing sense of dread, I stood up and walked up to the front of the church. I wasn't listening to the pastor as he spoke, his voice somber and slow. _Maybe this is a vision. _I thought as I approached the coffin. _Maybe this is Virginia's funeral._

Lily, Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, Sean, and Zoey all sat together, huddled in black. Lily was sobbing her heart out onto Remus's shoulder. Remus looked like he was carved from stone. The others were all somber, tense, the grief so palpable that I could taste it, bitter as gall. I felt my heart twist as I realized that they felt so strongly for my baby sister. _I'll have to remember to thank them later. _I thought as I stepped up in line to view the body.

But when I looked into the open casket, it wasn't my middle sister lying within the cushions. It was a teenager with wild honey-colored hair and a sparkling necklace, covered in lilacs and tiger lilies. She was dead.

She was me.

* * *

"Amber? Amber, Can you hear me?"

I struggled against the heavy weight of sleep pulling at me. It was as if a hippogriff were sitting on top of me. I tried to open my eyes and found that I couldn't.

"She's moving! Look, she's trying to speak!" a terrified voice said. It was Mum.

"Don't, Lena," Dad said, his voice hoarse. "She's been moving like that for weeks. It's just a part of the process."

"No, this is different." the first voice, unfamiliar, corrected. "Her brain activity has changed. She's awake. She can hear us."

Mum gasped, then began to sob. "Amber, darling? Can you hear me, my love?"

I tried to sit up, but couldn't. Every inch of my body felt battered, bruised, and injured. "Water," I croaked, my throat parched.

A cool wetness touched my lips, then trickled down my throat. After I was sated, I sagged back into the softness surrounding me. Even that small movement had exhausted me.

"Amber, this is Doctor Hastings," the first voice said. "You're in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. You're hurt pretty badly, but you're going to live."

Something in the way he said it made me extremely apprehensive. Why did he sound so sad?

"Please, darling." Mum whispered. "Come back to us. Wake up."

"Lena." Dad said harshly. "Let her rest. She'll come around when she's ready."

"Walter is right." Doctor Hastings said grimly. "You can't rush her. Her body has endured a great suffering. She needs time and rest. She needs to heal. As much as she can, at least."

Mum sounded on the edge of tears. "But I've waited so long…"

_What happened to me?_ I wanted to say, but I was sucked back into the black vortex of sleep before I could finish.

* * *

I moaned as the black werewolf leaned over me. Its eyes were blood-red, like a vampire's. His hot, putrid breath made my eyes water as he bent over me and let out a horrible roar. Just before he tore out my throat, he transformed into a hideous black-skinned reptilian creature with the same sinister eyes. "You're mine, Amber Harkstone." The creature hissed, his tongue forked and snake-like. "You'll never be free of your destiny. Never."

The creature changed into Professor Salvatore Slytherin. "You betrayed me, my love. You took my heart and drove a stake through it."

The vampire became his grandfather, Salazar Slytherin, bald and stony-faced. "_Your blood shall resurrect my Heir,_" he hissed. He turned into the young, handsome face of Tom Riddle, who bore a remarkable resemblance to both him and to Salvatore Slytherin.

"Do you really think you can stop the Master of Death?" Tom Riddle asked, his black eyes flat like obsidian. "What power does a weak little girl hold over me, the greatest wizard of all time?"

Tom Riddle transformed into Mara. A sly smile spread over her full lips, revealing razor-sharp fangs.

"Bon appetit, mon cherie," she said in a sultry voice, and plunged her teeth into my neck.

* * *

"Amber! _Amber! AMBER!"_

My eyes flew open. I was panting as if I had just run through the Forest again, and I clapped my hands to my neck. There was no bite mark, but there was gauze. Lots of it.

My hands roved over my body. I could see only hazy and blurred images. I felt more bandages, more gauze. Panicking, I touched my face. It felt rough and soft at the same time. Gauze. Everywhere.

"Amber, darling, relax. You're alright. You're fine. You're safe. You were having another nightmare."

"Mum?" I rasped, my voice sounding strange and unfamiliar. Not my own voice.

"Get her some water, Walter." Mum said in a tone of determined calm. "You need to calm down, sweetheart. Breathe. Deep inhales in through the nose, out through the mouth. Relax."

I did as she said. Slowly, the overwhelming surges of panic were replaced by a numbness spreading through me. There was a heavy, relaxing flowery odor in the air. It made me think of the body in the coffin from my dream. _My _body in the coffin.

Someone pushed a cup into my hands. Trembling, I lifted it to my lips and drank deeply.

"What happened to me?" I whispered at last, terrified of the fact that I still couldn't see properly. It was as if everything was in a thick, white fog.

"You were hurt very badly in the Forest." Mum said quietly. I turned towards the sound of her voice, though I could only make out a dark shape. I fought the panic again.

"Who? What?" I asked. "What hurt me?"

"You don't remember?" Mum asked slowly.

"No."

There was a pregnant pause. Then, Dad cleared his throat. "Amber, there's no easy way to say this. I need you to brace yourself."

"Walter." Mum protested.

"What?" I asked hollowly. "Am I going to die?"

"No." Dad said, but he sounded odd. Like it would have been better if I was dead. "You're going to live."

The shaking was worse than ever. "What's wrong with me?" I asked. "Why can't I see?"

Before Dad could answer, I heard a man clear his throat loudly. "Amber?"

I turned toward the owner of the voice, but I couldn't see who it was. "Yes?"

"Do you know who I am?"

"Yes. You're Doctor Hastings."

"Good. Short-term memory is good." The doctor said in a business-like tone. "I'm going to do some quick checks on you, alright? It won't hurt."

I sat motionless as the doctor picked up my hands and poked at me with something hard. _His wand, I bet, _I thought, trying to stay calm.

"How's your sight?"

"Bad. Everything is blurry and hazy. Foggy."

"That should go away within a few days. You've suffered massive trauma, and you haven't used your eyes in almost a month."

_A MONTH? _I thought in complete shock.

"Anything hurting?" he went on briskly.

"I'm sore. Why does my voice sound like this?"

"Because you haven't talked in a month, either. You've been in a coma."

"A coma?" I repeated blankly.

"Mr. and Mrs. Harkstone, would you mind excusing us for a moment?"

"I won't leave her." Mum said at once, outraged. "How could you even suggest such a thing?"

"Lena," Dad said soothingly. "He's her doctor. They need privacy."

"But we're her parents!" Mum shot back. "This is our daughter we're talking about, Walter! I will be here for her. I'm not leaving! You can't make me! She _needs _me."

_Just like Virginia needed you. _I thought sadly. I sighed heavily, my ribs protesting. I winced.

"Mum," I said as calmly as I could, "please. I want to talk to the doctor. It's alright."

"Are you _sure_?" Mum asked vehemently. "You don't have to be alone through this. We're here for you."  
"I'm sure." I told her firmly. "I'll be fine."

Mum sighed. She sounded like she hadn't slept in days. "Alright. But we'll be right outside of the door if you need anything." It sounded almost like a warning to the doctor. There was the scraping of chairs and they were gone.

"It's bad, isn't it?" I asked the doctor quietly. I couldn't see his face, but his silence gave me my answers. Tears filled my eyes.

"You sustained a very grave injury, Amber." Doctor Hastings said at last. "You should be dead. It's a complete miracle that you are alive."

My heart thumped painfully against my cracked ribs. "How am I alive?"

"To be honest with you, I'm not sure. If you hadn't had phoenix tears…"

"Phoenix tears?"

"Yes. James Potter carried you into Hogwarts castle when Professor Dumbledore intercepted him. He has a pet phoenix named Fawkes. The phoenix tears supplied by the bird almost certainly saved your life. You had deep lacerations and abrasions all over your body. Broken collarbone, nearly every rib cracked, and your femoral artery was punctured. You would have bled to death before reaching the castle if you hadn't been dragged by the werewolf. The dirt from the forest floor clogged it and prevented you from dying."

He had the same tone of pity that Dad did. "What else?" I pressed.

The doctor sighed heavily, resigned. "Unfortunately, Amber, you were attacked by two werewolves during a full moon. Despite the phoenix tears, you have sustained cursed, contaminated wounds. The next full moon is tomorrow night. Until then, we won't know the full extent of your injury."

I felt the blood draining from my face. "Do you mean… I might be a werewolf?"

It didn't seem possible. I was waiting for him to say, _Surprise! _Like it was a bad joke. But he didn't.

"Like I said, we won't know the extent of your injury until the full moon. But I think it's safe to say that there will be some contamination. Even if the phoenix tears healed your wounds, there was werewolf saliva injected into your bloodstream before you were healed. I can almost guarantee you will have some infection from lycanthropy. Your case is extremely rare, possibly unique. Phoenix tears are almost impossible to find, and the fact that you were given them saved your life."

"Who bit me?" I asked in a trembling voice.

"That we will not know until we take a blood sample from you tomorrow." Doctor Hastings answered. "Unfortunately, Amber, you are undoubtedly in for an unpleasant experience tomorrow night. You will be strapped down and restrained in a cage from moonrise to moonset. There isn't much available for werewolves in terms of treatment or symptom control. If you are indeed a werewolf, there are options for you. There's ways to manage it and live an almost normal life."

I couldn't see him, but I was staring in the direction of his voice. The weight of what he had just told me wasn't quite absorbing. I heard him, but it didn't sink in. I wanted to laugh. Me? A werewolf? Possibly infected by Remus, the boy I loved? Me? Miraculously alive when I should have been dead?

"What about these?" I asked casually, as if asking about the weather. I touched the gauze covering everywhere. "Why are these still on?"

The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry, Amber. But phoenix tears won't stop cursed wounds from scarring. You'll be marked by the wolf for the rest of your life."

Now I really wanted to laugh. This all had to be another nightmare. Or a really bad joke. "You mean I'm disfigured?"

"I wouldn't go that far." Doctor Hastings said quickly. "But yes, the scars will be… extensive."

I touched my sore body, now unfamiliar and contaminated. _Contaminated. _That was the word he'd used. Despite the fact that I had survived being mauled almost to death, I felt unclean. Infected. Dirty from the inside, from my very blood. I shivered.

"Your sight should be normal within four days." Doctor Hastings went on. "In the meantime, now that you are conscious, you'll continue to undergo healing sessions. You'll be in for very extensive physical therapy. Many of your muscles have atrophied and will need to be strengthened. I'm estimating you'll be in physical therapy for a year, maybe less, depending on how quickly you heal."

"I have just one question," I said, swallowing hard.

"What is it?" Doctor Hastings asked gently.

"When can I go home?"

There was a beat of silence. "Soon, hopefully." he responded. "But you'll need to be kept for a few more days, at the very least. Perhaps a week or two at the most. You've been in a coma for almost a month, and you need a little more medical attention before we release you."

My hands clenched around the sheets. How many times had Virginia been inside one of these beds in St. Mungo's Hospital? How many times had she faced death and overcome it, until the last time when she'd gone? Why had I survived, when she had died?

What was going to happen now?

"Would you like me to send your parents in?" Doctor Hastings asked quietly, breaking into my thoughts.

"Yeah," I said dully. "I guess so."

Mum and Dad both sat on my bed when they came back in. I could feel the bed sag underneath their weight. I wished I could see them.

"How are you feeling, darling?" Mum asked, taking my hand into hers and stroking it with her thumb.

"Just peachy." I replied flatly. "Have I had many visitors?"

"Yes. I don't know if you can see, but you've got an entire garden of flowers in here. And plenty of cards."

"Who's been here?" I asked.

"Lily comes in almost every day. She usually brings Remus with her, but he couldn't come the first day. He was extremely upset with himself."

There was something else she wasn't telling me. "Mum?"

"There's nothing you need to worry about, darling."

"Remus was very-" Dad began, but Mum cut him off angrily.

"Walter! She isn't ready!"

"It's fine, Mum," I said softly. "I already know he might have bitten me. It was either him or Fenrir Greyback. The doctor told me."

Mum deflated like an old tire. "What else did he tell you?"

"That I might be a werewolf. That I'll be scarred and need physical therapy for a year." My eyes felt hot and grainy. I was tired already, so tired that I felt like I could sleep for a whole month again and still not be rested enough. "Is Naomi alright? Does she know?"

"All she knows is that her oldest sister was hurt but that she'll be alright. She's with your grandparents. We thought it best if she doesn't see you yet. Not until you're ready to talk to her."

I didn't miss the veiled meaning. They didn't want Naomi to see me like this and possibly have that be the last thing she ever got from me. I had been in a coma. What if I had never woken up?  
"Willow Smith and Albus Dumbledore have been by a few times." Dad added. "They'd like to talk to you when you're up for it. Sean sent most of these flowers. He came by not too long ago."

His voice sounded brittle, angry even. "What's wrong, Dad?"

"Your father isn't very impressed with your boyfriend." Mum said in a dry voice. "And frankly, neither am I."

"Why not?" I asked. "What's the matter?"

"I would have thought that a man like him would have been here by your side. I thought we would have to drag him screaming from the room away from you. But he's only been to visit a handful of times and he never stays long."

"I'm sure he has a good reason." I said weakly, but I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. How could Sean not be here? Didn't he love me? If he'd been in the hospital, I would have been with him every day for as long as possible.

"Are you up for a few visitors now that you're awake?" Mum asked, sounding determinedly happy. "I could send an owl to Lily and Remus."

"Yeah." I said. "I'd like that."

"Rest now." Dad said pacifyingly, rubbing my arm gently. "We'll wake you when they arrive."

I closed my eyes and was out within seconds. This time, instead of Mara Smith plunging her teeth into my neck, it was Remus Lupin.

* * *

A heavy, tantalizing odor drifted up my nostrils, bringing me back into awareness. My vision was still foggy, but my stomach growled at the enticing aroma of something juicy and hot.

"Amber? Oh, thank GOD!"

I was instantly crushed by a pair of arms. I shrieked. The girl squealed and let go, horrified. "Are you alright? Oh, Amber, I'm sorry! Your parents told me to come in!" Lily wailed.

"Just kidding." I grunted, grinning in her direction. I could see a mass of flame-red hair, but her face wasn't clear.

"That was _not _funny!" Lily said, her voice shaking. "I really thought I'd hurt you!"

"Nah. If you had, I would have bitten you."

"_Amber!" _Lily gasped.

"Well, it looks like she hadn't lost her sense of humor."

I glanced in the direction of the voice, emotion swelling within me. "James."

"Hi, Amber." he said, his voice thick. "You look lovely."

"Oh, don't lie." I told him flippantly. "I know I look hideous."

"Not that bad, really." Sirius said, sounding smug. "But now I'm the prettiest one in the group."

"Sirius Black!" Lily said in outrage. "She's beautiful!"

"It's alright, Lily. Really. He needs all the help he can get. A few marks on her won't hurt him. Sirius is hopelessly ugly."

There was a chortle of collective laughter. "How are you feeling?" James asked.

"Better, thanks to you." I wanted to hug him. "You saved my life."

"I only did half the work. Kettleburn helped, but the real hero was Fawkes. If Dumbledore hadn't had him…"

"I know." I said. I didn't want to talk about my new condition, how close I'd come to joining Virginia and Angelina. "Where's Remus?"

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. "He's… coming." Lily said haltingly. "He's very upset with himself. He's convinced that this is his fault. That he did this to you."

"But it probably wasn't even him!" I protested, crushed. More than anyone else, I wanted him to be here. I felt guilty at the thought, but it was true. I loved everyone in this room, including my parents who weren't present, but Remus was different. I felt like more than anyone else, he'd always understood me. And now that empathy would run even deeper between us.

"He'll be here, don't you worry." James assured me. "Even if we have to drag him in here."

"Thanks for that encouraging remark." I said dryly. "I can't see very well, but it's so nice to hear familiar voices again."

"Peter's here too." Sirius told me. "He brought you a box of chocolates."

"Thanks, Peter." I said to the short, round shape I assumed to be Peter. He mumbled a "you're welcome" and fell silent.

"What's that amazing smell?" I added, my mouth watering.

"What smell?" Lily asked curiously.

I inhaled deeply. My stomach roared in response. "Don't you smell that? It smells _incredible_."

"Here." Sirius presented a plate to me. "Is it this?"

I held it up to my face cautiously. I couldn't see it clearly, but the scent was overwhelming. I could feel myself drooling.

"Here, let me help you." Lily offered, cutting it up into smaller pieces. "I'll feed you, if you want."  
"I'd appreciate that." I said with as much dignity as I could muster. I opened my mouth as I felt a fork against my lips. My mouth closed down on the food. It was slightly chewy but full of bursting flavor. It was fleshy, juicy, and delicious. The most delicious thing I'd ever tasted.

"I can't believe you just ate that." Sirius said in a hushed voice.

"Ate what, exactly?" I asked as Lily fed me another bite.

"Steak." James said faintly.

I froze in mid-chew. The silence spiraled horribly.

All my life, I had been a vegetarian. I hated the idea of eating anything with a beating heart or a face, or even eyes. I had never enjoyed the flavor of any kind of meat.

But this… this was heavenly. It was exquisite. And it was like water and air to me. A jolt of realization struck me as I swallowed the bite of steak.

I _needed _meat.

The soreness in my body alleviated, and I felt strength return to me. I felt alert, awake. As I ate more, my vision cleared. But then it blurred as tears formed.

"Amber," Lily said in dismay. "Are you _crying_?"

"No." I lied, trying to squint the tears back in.

"Then why is your face scrunched up and why are your eyes watering?" Lily pressed.

I sniffled, hard. "I just… I can't believe I'm eating meat. _Meat!"_

Lily put her hand over mine comfortingly. "It's going to be alright, Amber."

"You finally joined the meat-eaters club." James said jovially. "About time. I was beginning to worry you'd be eating nothing but rabbit food your entire life."

"James!" Lily objected, but a smile cracked on my face. In spite of myself, I giggled. James beamed down at me, his hazel eyes glowing with relief and humor.

"I love you guys." I sighed, pushing away the plate of food and staring down at my hands. They were covered in bandages. I touched my face gingerly. It was uncovered. In spite of myself, I felt a thrill of terrified anticipation. What did I look like now?

"Can I have a mirror, please?" I asked quietly. No one spoke or moved.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Lily asked, face full of concern.

"Actually, I was hoping we could play Exploding Snap." Sirius interjected. "Amber has the best reactions. You'd never know it since she's so cold and frosty, but she screams like Peter when the cards blow up. Or she yells at you like it's your fault."

"I do _not!_" I objected hotly.

"Do so." Sirius said lightly.

"Alright, prove it!" I snapped. Within minutes cards had been dealt and the five of us began to play.

"See?" I said coolly as a card burst into smoke and flame. "I didn't react."

"I'm surprised." Sirius said, genuine. "Usually you freak out. I'm a little-"

"Hello?" a familiar voice asked uncertainly from the door. I snapped my head towards the voice, but just before, my entire deck exploded in my hands. Shrieking, I jumped and sent my empty plate clattering to the floor and Peter squealing in fright.

"That's better." James laughed, adjusting his glasses which had gone askew from the blast. A flock of robed healers flooded into the room.

"What happened?!" a blonde-haired healer demanded. Each healer had a wand out. "What's going on in here?"

"Just making sure her reflexes are good." Sirius said seriously, his own wand, nodding at me sagely. "I'm Doctor Black. I'm her new assisting physician."

"Sirius!" Lily hissed, but I waved her off. Grinning, I watched Sirius fix the blonde healer with a seductive smile. "Don't worry, everything's fine in here."

"But…" the healer faltered. "I've never heard of a Dr. Black here."

"I'm from the third floor." Sirius said impressively. "I'm new to the first floor. Would you be so kind as to bring Miss Harkstone a goblet of pumpkin juice? She needs to take her medication."

"Oh… of course, Doctor." the healer stammered, while the rest of the healers left, seeing no emergency. "I didn't know she had to take any pills."

"She doesn't take them orally." Sirius told her gravely. The healer's face went red.

"I see." She said faintly. "I'll be back."

"Thank you very much." Sirius said, nodding to her. The girl left.

I burst into laughter. "If I don't take them orally, then how do I take my pills?"

"Well, you know that we have _two _ends, Amber." Sirius said, winking. "Your mouth and your-"

"Okay!" Lily shouted, raising her hands as James and I burst into laughter. "We get it! Besides, we have a visitor."

All of us turned and looked expectantly at the doorway. Remus was standing there, looking pale and scared. My heart began to race at the sight of him.

"Can I come in?" Remus asked quietly.

"Of course." I said, offering him a tentative smile. "I was wondering when you'd get here, idiot."

The ghost of a smile flickered across his scarred face. He presented me with a blue China vase. It contained three tiger lilies and a few sprigs of lilac.

"Oh, Remus…" I breathed, inhaling the heavenly scent. "How did you know these were my favorite flowers?"

Remus blushed and looked away. "I remember you said it once."

I blinked. I had indeed told him, almost three years ago. "How did you remember that?"

"I remember everything you said, because it was important to me." Remus told me frankly. Both of us were blushing. James cleared his throat loudly.

"We'll leave you two alone for a moment." He said, dragging Sirius and Peter out. He reached for Lily, but she stepped out of reach and tossed her sheet of flame-colored hair back over her shoulder.

"Want me to stay?" she asked, sliding a look over at Remus. I knew she was asking if I was ready to be alone with him yet, when my very attacker could have been Remus himself.

"I'm okay." I told her. "But I would like to shower soon. Would you and Mum help me with that?"

"Duh." Lily said. The boys perked up. "We'll help, too." Sirius said eagerly. Lily smacked him on the arm, chasing the three of them out of the room. The door slid shut behind her.

Alone, Remus and I were silent. Our eyes kept meeting and then averting. I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. What _could _I say?

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked at last, shuffling on his feet.

I shrugged. "I've felt better."

Remus' face filled with pain. Anguish and guilt burned hot like flames behind his green eyes. "Amber, if I did this…"

"Shut up and sit down." I said firmly, pointing to the now-empty chair beside me. A muscle jerked in his cheek, but he sat down, pale and miserable.

"I don't blame you." I told him fiercely. "For any of this."

Remus' mouth worked. "What if I did this to you? What if this was _me? _Amber, I almost killed you. What if I've infected you? What if-"

I pressed a finger to his lips. To my dismay and shock, I realized he was _crying_. Actually crying!  
"Remus," I said quietly, my own voice trembling, "I don't care who did this. Whether or not it was you or Greyback, it doesn't matter to me. It wasn't your fault."

"But-" Remus tried to speak around my finger, but I pressed harder.

"Hush. Listen to me. Listen. You're my best friend, no matter what happens. Don't tell Lily that, by the way. She thinks she's my best friend. But it's you." I hesitated, exhaling. "It's always been you. You and I have always understood each other on a different level. And now, we understand each other even more."

I removed my finger. Remus was staring at me like he'd never seen me before. I could feel the heat filling my face at the look. It was the same look I'd seen on Sean's face on the Ferris wheel, right before he'd tried to kiss me.

The memory of what I had thought would be my final thoughts came flooding back. _Remus_. Oh, I had so badly wanted to tell him how I felt. How much I loved him.

But how could I now, knowing how much he still blamed himself? It didn't matter what I said or what the results would tell tomorrow after my blood work. He was set on penance.

"Amber," Remus began in a strangled voice, "I thought I'd lost you. When James told me…"

"Remus, don't." I started, but he ignored me.

"I was right." He said brokenly. "I _am _dangerous." He paused. "Maybe… maybe you shouldn't be friends with me anymore."

I stared at him. The awful feeling of spiraling despair began again, and I scrambled for a hold on safety. "Remus John Lupin, don't you _ever _talk like that. I almost lost you once. I don't want to live without you. Not for anything."

"But I almost killed you." Tears spilled down his cheeks now, unchecked and agonizing. "If James and Kettleburn hadn't saved you, you'd be dead."

"I don't care!" I almost shouted. "I love you, Remus! I don't care what you are or what's happened. I will _always _love you. Stop trying to crucify yourself. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes accidents happen. Even this. But I don't care. You're my best friend, and that isn't going to change."

Remus stared at me. His face went from red to white and then to red again. He swallowed hard.

"You might change your mind about how you feel about me when you see yourself." he said quietly, handing me a mirror.

Glaring at him, I took it. "I doubt it."

But when I looked into the mirror, part of me wished that I _had _died.

The face staring back at me certainly resembled me. But it wasn't the face I remembered having.

I counted one, two, three, four scars on my face alone. Speechless, I touched them with one hand, the other hand clutching the mirror. The right side had taken most of the damage. The longest scar cut from my hairline all the way down to my jaw. The scar next to it was the same length. It sliced through my eyebrow and began again just below my eye, cutting down all the way to my jaw again. The third and fourth scar seemed to come from the same claw. The top part cut from my hairline down to just above my other eyebrow. The smallest scar came from the same line, etched deeply into my chin. I lifted my neck slightly and exposed a fifth scar, cruel and deep and dragging from my jugular down to my collarbone.

Judging by the marks on my hands, there were many more like them underneath my hospital gown.

"Even if I didn't infect you, I still scarred you. Permanently." Remus whispered, his face white. His eyes were haunted and had a dangerous look in them, like he was planning something terrible. "I know Greyback attacked you too, but I know those aren't all from him."

"How many times do I have to tell you before you listen?" I nearly shouted. "I don't care. You better not be thinking about throwing yourself off of the hospital roof. Remus, I don't care. I'm alive, aren't I? And that's all that matters."

"All that matters?" Remus echoed in disbelief. He twisted his hands into his hair, his eyes wide and bulging. He looked quite mad. "You can't honestly believe that. _Look _at you, Amber! You're more scarred than I am! Don't you think Sean will care? Don't you think that from now on, the entire wizarding world will see you as an outcast? As a leper?"

I wanted to slap him, but I was too shocked. "How… how dare you?" I managed. "How can you say those things to me?"

"Because I know what it's like!" Remus shot back miserably. "I know what the stigma of being a werewolf carries. You'll never be accepted for who you are or the condition you live with. People will look at you and be afraid. They won't trust you, simply because of what happened to you, even when it's not your own fault. It's unfair. It's cruel. And there's nothing you can do about it, except accept it and learn how to cope." He buried his hands into his hands, shoulders shaking. "You, Lily, and the boys are the only ones who ever gave a damn about me, other than Dumbledore and my own parents. Everyone else always saw me as a monster. I tried to push all of you away, but you stayed. You know what I am. Even when others turned their backs on me, you all stayed." His gaze penetrated me. "The same way people will turn their backs on you now."

I was trembling so hard the bed was making small noises of vibration. I didn't want to believe him. I didn't want to think that my appearance or my possible condition would affect my life.

But I knew it would. Even though I was alive, even though I was in the same body, things would never be the same. Not anymore.

"Look at what I've done to you." Remus whispered, tears slipping down his tortured face. "You'll carry those scars to your grave because of me."

"Because of an accident." I whispered. Professor Smith had scars, and it didn't stop her from living her life. She was powerful and respected. She had made her mistakes and paid for them. Suddenly, more than anything, I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to talk to someone who would understand, who wouldn't cast blame or crucify herself.

The door opened. Mara entered first, followed by Sean, and then lastly, Willow. Remus got quickly to his feet, wiping at his eyes.

"Are we interrupting something?" Mara asked, arching a brow.

"No." Remus said thickly. "I was just leaving." He glanced at me, his expression full of pain and guilt. "I'm so sorry, Amber."

"Remus, don't you dare blame yourself." I retorted hotly.

But he merely shook his head and left. The newcomers came over to me. Sean sat on my bed, his familiar scent enveloping me. I leaned into his embrace, closing my eyes and pretending I couldn't feel the niggling sense of doubt within me.

"I was so worried about you." Sean murmured in my ear. "Are you alright?"

I looked down. "I'm a little scratched up, but I'm alive."

"You're still beautiful to me." Sean said huskily, kissing each scar. I blushed hotly, glancing in embarrassment at his aunt and cousin. "Sean," I muttered, mortified.

"Before we let you two make out, we wanted to check in and see how you're doing." Mara said. "We haven't managed to catch Greyback yet."

"And tomorrow's the full moon." I said dully. "What if he attacks someone else?"

"I don't think he'll try anything that foolish for awhile." Professor Smith said ominously. "You see, I've put a hex on him. I did manage to corner him just after I arrived at the castle, when you were taken away to the hospital. He put up a good fight, but he'll be in a lot of pain for a few months to come."

"What did you do to him?" I asked curiously.

"You don't want to know." Sean said, shuddering.

"She castrated him." Mara said bluntly. "With a pretty good Severing Charm. No pain medication or anything. The good news is that he'll never be able to reproduce. And maybe he'll calm down a bit now that he's got no more-"

"Thank you, Mara," her mother said firmly. "That will do."

Mara winked at me. I looked away, unable to shake the nightmare of her as a vampire, biting into me.

"Do you want to talk to her?" Sean asked quietly, looking at his aunt. I could feel the tension and unspoken thoughts rolling off of him in waves.

"I do, but I think you and I should talk first." I said bracingly. Mara _ooooohed. _Her mother cleared her throat loudly and gave her daughter a pointed look. "We'll go down to the cafeteria and have a spot of lunch. I'll be back in thirty minutes."

"Thanks for coming, Mara," I told my former teacher. "You aren't going to teach at Hogwarts next year, are you?"

"I can't." she said sadly. "I took a year off of Quidditch to teach, but if I do it again, I'll lose my spot on the Montrose Magpies. They offered me Captaincy if I came back."

"Congratulations." I told her honestly. "That's really neat."

"Oh, wait a minute," she said, frowning. She handed me the five tickets she'd given me last summer for my birthday. "Make sure you use these when you're feeling up to it. You need something fun after all you've been through."

"Thanks." I said. I watched her and her mother leave the room. Now, Sean and I were alone, and I didn't know what to say to him. I was more aware of my scars than ever, and I looked away, unable to speak, unable to look at him.

"Amber…" Sean began, his voice thick.

"My parents said you haven't been here to see me very often." I said softly. Tears pricked at my eyes. "Why?"

Sean didn't try to dispute this information. "I can't tell you."

I lifted my chin a notch, hurt, defiant. "Why not? Because you were too busy? Am I not worth your time?"

"Amber, I really can't." Sean said, his gray eyes pleading. "Mara and I are both in very deep as spies, and I'm magically bound not to speak."

I gaped at him. "Spies? _Both _of you?"

Sean glanced around the room nervously. "Keep your voice down, will you?"

"But I thought you were playing for the Falcons."  
He gave a wry smile. "I'm on indefinite leave. I had to put my notice in right before you were attacked." His face paled. New lines were etched into them, lines that had not been there the last time I'd seen him in December. I leaned against him for comfort, feeling little. "I missed you so much. I never thought I'd get to…"

"Get to what?" Sean asked gently. I looked away, ashamed.

"Nothing. Never mind." I said, my voice tight. I couldn't look at him. I noticed more scars and bandages running up my arms and wanted to hide underneath the blanket.

"What?" Sean asked again, touching my back. My skin warmed at his touch.

"_Nothing_, Sean. Drop it." I said testily, staring at the wall. There was a picture of an old and heavily wrinkled wizard, along with the name, _Elliot Bean_, underneath. From the looks of him, he had once been a significant healer on the first floor wards.

"Look at me." Sean said. When I didn't, he tipped my chin up, his gray eyes searching mine. I could feel the heat pouring into my face at his intimate scrutiny. "What's the matter?"

Tears filled my eyes again. "I'm ugly." I whispered. "I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to-"

Sean pressed his lips against mine. The pressure was so startlingly warm, so electrifying, that for a moment I was stunned. When he pulled back, I could only stare at him. He gave a slow smile and I could feel warmth exploding within me.

"You are beautiful." Sean murmured, leaning in again. He kissed me a second time, his nose brushing against my cheek. He retreated, his eyes glowing triumphantly. I could only stare at him, my heart pounding so hard I was surprised he couldn't hear it.

All of my questions of _Why couldn't you make time for me? _And _where were you? _went out the window. I forgot about my scars and about the fact that I loved Remus, too. All I knew was that Sean made me feel new sensations, wonderful things that I had never experienced before.

"What are you thinking?" he asked playfully, tugging on a lock of my hair.

"Can we do that again?" I asked frankly, blushing at my own daring. Grinning, Sean leaned in for a third kiss. To my intensely surprised delight, he parted my lips with his tongue, slipping inside and holding me closer. In spite of my injuries and insecurities, I melted against him, my breathing coming out in little puffs.

Before things could go any farther, the door banged open. I jerked back, my face on fire, as Lily stood in the open doorway, her face white and tense.

"Lily!" I objected, wanting to die. "Do you _mind? _The door was shut! Have you ever heard of this thing called 'privacy'?"

"I'm sorry, Amber, but something terrible has happened!" Lily exclaimed, rushing into the room.

"What?" Sean asked sarcastically. "Did Remus jump off the hospital roof?"

"Not yet." Lily panted. "He's still on the ledge."


End file.
